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ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

ACROSS

THE ATLANTIC.

BY THE AUTHOK 01"

^SKETCHES OE CANTABS."

LONDON:
GEORGE EAELE, 67, CASTLE STREET EAST,
BERNEES STREET, OXFOED STREET.
1851.

PREFACE.

Among the many advantages attending upon
Prefaces to light works, I believe that, first and
, foremost, stands the fact that no one, by any
chance, ever reads them. The wearied and wor
ried author strings together a few sentences about
the Public being really too benevolent, his health
being really very bad, other avocations having
^prevented him from devoting such attention to
the subj"ect as he could have wished (all satis
factorily proving, in limine, that the book ought
never to have been written at all), and, pre
fixing to the aforesaid sentences the title of
" Preface," or " Address to the Reader," hur
ries them into a part of the volume, where they
have the double merit of not being exposed to
criticism, and of filling up a great deal of space.

vi PREFACE.
This manifest advantage, of being able to write
what one chooses, without the fear of being
caUed to account for the absence of grammar, or
of sense, wiU, I am afraid, be denied to my Pre
face. I even suspect that it wiU be the very
-first part to which those who take up the book
will turn, if only to find out what excuse the
Author can possibly allege for pubhshing a work
about America at all. " At a time when we
are nearly bored to death with Travels in the
United States and the East," some one will ex
claim, "what should induce this obscure indivi
dual to come forward and inflict his experiences
upon the world? We have had enough about
America." I believe, indeed, that a volume
purporting to be written about the New World,
enters upon life in the Old World, under the
same disadvantages as a youth with carroty hair
or a squint. It is an unprepossessing volume ;
the book-sellers shake their heads at it, and
the public pass it by. It is in explanation of
these circumstances that I have a few words to
say. Regular books of American Travel have, I con-

PREFACE. Vll
fess, been produced so plentifully, of late years,
that we scarcely require any more. Increased
facihties of communication have brought New
York and Philadelphia, as near to us as Edin
burgh and Dubhn were, in the days of our grand
fathers. We are no longer to be told that
" Boston is a beautiful city, buUt upon a hill,"
and so on, through half-a-dozen pages of statis
tical information, such as traveUers pick up. We
have enclyclopaedias, and guide-books, and ga
zetteers, telhng us all about Boston that we want
to know. We have views of Boston ; periodicals
published at Boston; correspondents who write
us letters from Boston ; in fact, we know almost
as much about Boston as we do about Manchester
and Leeds.
But if it be contended, that because the time
has gone by for writing Books of Travel in the
United States, the time has also gone by for
writing any kind of light work on the United
States, there I take leave to disagree. I think,
on the contrary, that the period when we have
gained some knowledge of a foreign nation, its
manners and institutions, will be that ih which

vill PREFACE.

we shall be most ready to read anything that is
written about it ; the information that we already
possess communicating an additional degree of in
terest to the subject. Only, that writers wiU
have to take this increased information into ac
count, and in treating on the particular country
— as, in the present case, on America — wiU start
with the supposition that it is already well-known,
and that it is unnecessary to fatigue the reader
with dry matters of detail. Take, for example,
" The Sketch-Book." How interesting was that
series of papers, even to the English reader. And
yet it treated on subjects as "stale" as every-day
experience can make them to the Enghshman.
If Mr. Irving had talked of arriving in " London,
the capital of England, as well as of the smaU
county of Middlesex. Its principal streets are
Oxford Street, the Strand, Fleet Street," and so
on, who would not have shut up his book with
alarm ?
I have said thus much to indicate, to some
extent, the nature of this book, which is not,
indeed, a Book of Travels. It contains a series
of " Sketches," or " Scribblings," or " Inldings,"

PREFACE. IX
some of them written in America, and all having
America for their groundwork. They are put
together into a volume (perhaps it would have
been wiser if they had been put together into
the fire) principally from a note-book, which I
kept during my ramble in that country. I have
taken it for granted that every reader, with whom
fortune may bless me, will have aheady gone
through many books on the subject of the United
States. I have, consequently, excluded every
thing in the shape of statistics or information.
These will be found in other works.
I feel that some may object to the tone of this
volume. " It is hght and trivial," they will say.
I have no answer to make to this charge. I
admit that I would twenty thousand times rather
be the author of a work, in fourteen volumes
octavo, giving the best account of the New World
and its institutions that had ever been presented
to the Public — sound, dry, and useful ; or of a
.Philosophical Treatise — deep and unintelligible.
But as my powers do not extend to such pro
ductions, I have been induced to do aU that I
could ever aspire to do, and to submit to the

PREFACE.

Public a volume which, light and trifling in its
character, will meet with its highest reward, if
it succeed in amusing an idle hour.

CONTENTS

PAGE
Liverpool TO Boston  1
Boston; First Impressions  8
A Walk in the Broadway  16
A Little Dinner at Delmonico's  31
A Law Court  43
New York to Philadelphia  47
Philadelphia  49
A Man op Letters  59
Newtort  93
A Newport Ball  109
The Pitz-Eustace Osbornes  121
Baltimore  150
American Railways  158
Washington: Senate and Congress  163
WAsmNGTON (continued)  175
A Camp Meeting  192
Slaves and Slavery  209
Mount Vernon  222
A Carpet-Bag Chapter  228
.English Writers on America  249
The Pleasures op Homeward Travel  259

ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

LIVERPOOL TO BOSTON.

On the evening of the 28th of June last, I sat,
in company with two friends, looking out of my
windows in the Temple. We listened to the roar
of the city, and watched the pale-faced convey
ancers, emerging from their haunts, at nightfall,
like owls. Within a few hours, I was sleeping
comfortably at the Wellington Hotel, Liverpool.
In as many more, I was on board the Hibernia
steam-ship, looking at the receding shores of Old
England, and aroused to consciousness by the
falling of a heavy trunk upon my toes.
There is no romance in travel now-a-days. It
is in the privacy of our homes, and not on our way
from town to town, that we must look for a visit
from the plunderer and the assassin. The secu
rity, cheapness and dispatch attending a change
from place to place, will, before long, have induced
B

2 across the ATLANTIC.
many persons to prefer Pekin to Margate, and
have conferred an air of gentility upon the northern-
and southem poles. And it was this very consi
deration, of cheapness united to dispatch and secu
rity, which had induced rae to go to the United
States for the benefit of my health, instead of
choosing Brighton, or Cheltenham, or a place on
the Rhine.
Of the half hundred or so of gentlemen who
were thrown into each others' society, for the fort
night which was expected to elapse before our
arrival at Boston, I beheve that the major part
were engaged in commerce, and had come to look
at a passage across the Atlantic, as an ordinary —
I had almost said an every-day occurrence. Kjiow-
ing, by experience, how to render a sea-voyage
comfortable, they had been making interest with
the purser for separate berths, securing good places
at the dinner-table, and inspecting boxes of cigars
and mysterious-looking case-bottles, which seemed
to form no insignificant or unheeded portion of
their personal efiects.
The uninitiated, on the other hand, having
nothing to do, accordingly did nothing — an occu- .
pation, indeed, very generally foUovped at sea, but
rendered irksome at the beginning of a voyage,
when you feel that there are many artifices for
enhancing your future comfort, which you might
be adopting, if you only knew them. And so, you

LIVERPOOL TO BOSTON. 3
are prevented from standing any longer in the way
of the sailors, by the ringing of the dinner-bell.
As for the voyage itself, it was like all other
voyages — a mixture of nausea and ennui, a dis
taste for food, and a longing to be on shore again.
In books, I ain aware that the passage of the
Atlantic is invested with romance ; but of this
romance I had myself, personally, no experience.
And I remarked, generally, that when Nature put
on all her sublimity, the passengers usuaUy went
down stairs, and put on their nightcaps. I am
sure that we conversed a great deal more with the
stewards than with the elements. To be a poet
on land, one must have a wonderful imagination ;
to be one at sea, a wonderful stomach. And the
writers who talk vrith rapture of the beauties of
the Atlantic, I suspect to possess the former to
quite as large an extent as the latter gift.
On the morning of the twelfth day, on getting
out of bed, I found that I was able to shave. Ap
prehensive that some convulsion of nature must
have taken place to bring about this result, I in
terrogated the steward. We were off Halifax —
and I lost no time in rushing up the cabin stairs,
to catch my first glimpse of the New World.
And there was Hahfax ! With the passengers
half-dressed and half-shaved, clustered together
on the quarter-deck, to gaze at its bright white
wooden houses, gleaming in the sunshine, the
b2

* across THE ATLANTIC.
clear sky above, the busthng quay beside us, the
tall fortifications behind, threatening and com
manding the harbour ! There were real negroes
there, too, not striking banjos and clashing bones,
as I half expected to see them, but standing hke
ordinary men, or grinning with huge, distended
jaws, as they lent their hands to bear in the baskets
of lobsters, of ice, and of strawberries, with which
I was glad to observe that our ships' stores were
about to be reinforced. There were light waggons
drawn up at the water's edge, resembling those in
use on the continent of Europe, and men driving
them and heaping luggage into them, on whose
faces I fancied I could read " Annexation" traced
by the hand of nature ; on whose hearts I doubt
not that the same word is being indelibly im
printed by a succession of Colonial Secretaries.
Even the little urchins, a few of whom had ga
thered together at this early period ofthe morning,
raised a painful thought in my mind, as they stood
sucking their thumbs, and gazing at the taU masts
of our vessel. " What particular day in the Ca
lendar," I mused to myself, " which now your
fathers pass by without a thought, as in no way
distinguished from the rest, wiU you, my boys,
when you are old and bowed down and decrepit,
celebrate as the glorious anniversary of your deh
verance from British misrule ? When will you
be in a position, as an independent nation of some

LIVERPOOL TO BOSTON. O
standing, to call upon the then dissatisfied Aus
tralians and oppressed New Zealanders, to imitate
your example ? And when, in the name of won
der, wiU there arise in England a man to govern
the colonies who has ever been in any one of them ;
who has any notion of the character, the wants
and requirements of their respective populations ;
who has ever devoted any length of time, before
his accession to office, to a practical consideration
ofthe subject and its manifold and mighty bear
ings ? I do not say out of the peerage, and the
aristocratic radius of so many degrees and grades
of which that institution forms the centre — for
this would be revolutionary and radical — but in
the peerage, let us pray that, some day or other,
there may arise such a man !
In these possibly presumptuous reflections, I
was interrupted by the voice of a man, who ad
vanced towards me with newspapers under his
arm. " Confession of Dr. Webster, sir," said he
to me. " Here it is. Full information of the.
horrible manner in which the corpse was disposed
of ! Disgusting details ! Intensely harrowing
narrative!" or words to that effect; and then, in
a lower tone, as a matter of less, though still of
some importance, " Death of the President of the
United States !"
Apart from the latter piece of intelligence,
which, I need hardly say, I was extremely grieved

6 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
to hear, there was much in these simple excla
mations of the newsman, and the manner in which
he delivered them, to excite a feeling of pleasure,
as reminding one of the dear home which one had
left behind. The very first institution which stared
you in the face was a British institution. The
Americans were still Englishmen, as it appeared.
They inherited that love for the details of crime,
that morbid sympathy for the criminal, that inqui-
sitiveness as to every thing connected with the
dear deed of blood, which I had supposed to be
indigenous to British soil. The unforgotten de
lights of the Mannings and Rush were about to be
revived for me. And there would assuredly be a
Chamber of Horrors in New York.
From Halifax to Boston is a distance of about
thirty hours — steam has annihilated the reckoning
by miles — but from the circumstance of the end
being so near at hand, it not uncommonly seems
longer than all the preceding part of the voyage.
Most persons on board, too, (including those la
bouring under romance) have become tolerably tired
of the sea. Whist, chess, and novel-reading faU,
about this time, to yield any amusement. Neither
does, that ignominious game called shovel-board,
which consists in stooping down and projecting
flat slabs of wood at figures chalked on the deck.
The fact is, that the majority do nothing but eat.
Having only five meals a day, viz., breakfast at

LIVERPOOL TO BOSTON. 7
eight, lunch at twelve, dinner at three, tea at
seven, and supper at ten, they make the most of
them, and have no sooner concluded one, than they
rush out upon deck to gain an appetite for its
successor. These meal-times erect themselves
into so many epochs, which break in upon the
monotony of their existence — oases in the desert
of idle vacuity. No one can feel really sorry when,
after steaming up through the beautiful bay of
Boston, and seeing the town draw nearer, nearer,
nearer to him, he is at length conscious that the
side of the vessel touches the quay, and, a plank
being thrown across, he once more sets foot on
terra firma, emerging, as it seems to him, from
the confinement of a dungeon, into freedom, and
liberty, and air. I know that I was not sorry ;
and, waiting for my baggage to be examined, felt
a wonderful degree of elation and self-importance,
when I realized to myself that I was now actually,
for the first time in my life, standing on American
soil.

ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

BOSTON.— FIRST IMPRESSIONS.

If there be any one class of officials, in the
selection of whom the strictest caution should be
used, on the part of a Government, and on whose
actions, in England, Mr. Joseph Hume should keep
an especial look out, that class of persons are the
Custom House officers. Those who imagine that
they are employed solely to fumble among the
clothes for concealed lace pocket-handkerchiefs
and contraband tobacco, mistake the dignity of
the office, which is, in reality, to communicate to
the stranger the very first impressions of the
country in which he has arrived. When they are
polite and condescending, we insensibly acquire
the idea that aU the rest of their countrymen are
like them ; when they are cruel and tyrannical,
we cannot help conceiving a secret dislike for a
Government and people, that can permit our first
hours on their soil to be made so vexatious and
unpleasant. And the importance of first impres
sions, even when afterwards proved to be erroneous,
wiU scarcely be denied. Taking this view of the
case, the first impressions of a foreigner on his

BOSTON  FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 9
arrival at Boston cannot fail to be agreeable. It
is true, that there was no highly-whiskered and
scented gentleman to dive into my linen — his hands
glistening with blood-stones and diamonds. This
we missed. But some slight compensation for this
deficiency might be found in the fact that, in
about five minutes' time, such passengers as de
clared that they had nothing contraband about
them, were seated in the two-horse hotel-coaches,
with their luggage on the roof — a degree of cele
rity, which I think might be imitated at certain
British ports, which it would not be difficult to
name. From what I have said in the preface, no one
will expect, in this place, that I should give an
account of the churches and chapels-of-ease in
Boston, of the number of inhabitants (distinguish
ing, of course, between the sects), public libraries,
hotels, museums, schools and institutions, which
it contains. For this information, the statistician
must refer to guides, and especially to professed
books of travel, of the dearth of which latter kind
of works, there has not been, of late years, any
very great complaint.
I shall, however, take the liberty of remarking
that my walks through the streets of Boston, ex
hibited to me a town rather different from what I
had expected. T had looked for a Liverpool or a
Manchester ; — I found a city which appeared to

10 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
me to possess a strong infusion of Brussels. I
know the prevailing idea of tourists is that Boston
is more like an English town than any other in
the States. There seemed to me, however, to
be a union of the British and the Continental in
its exterior aspect ; an idea which was, perhaps,
fostered by the blue^ cloudless sky above, and the
heat of the atmosphere around, as weU as the
bright, clean aspect of the houses — three features
which would not immediately, and of themselves,
recall London or Liverpool to the mind. More
over, the construction of the houses, in some few
of the streets, reminds you of France rather than
England. So do the green blinds to the windows.
So does the way in which the names are written
up on the shops — stores they call them here —
which, being inscribed with gold letters on black
boards, and hanging about the windows in aU
directions, (for there is usually a separate business
carried on in each story) give a most picturesque
appearance to the houses. So do the awnings in
the streets, shading you from the mid-day sun.
So do the trees, planted in rows on each side of
the way, recalling the Boulevard as it was before
the revival of patriotism. So do the forms of the
carriages and omnibuses, and the glazed hats of
the drivers, and the trappings of the horses, and the
horses themselves. So, above all, do the dresses
of the inhabitants, which are copied strictly from

BOSTON  FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 11
the latest Parisian fashions — the men, vrith their
straw hats, low-waisted coats and baggy trowsers,
and, in very many cases, beards and mustachios,
ill adapted (it appears to me) to the Anglo-Saxon
face — the ladies, with ah those indescribable beau
ties of French coiffure, chaussure, and tournure,
which the male sex are not to criticize, but only
to admire and to pay for — the children, habited as
French children usually are — the workmen, with
their blue blouses and fat blue trowsers, just, for
all the world, reminding you of the workmen's
Quartier. Verily, if an Englishman were tran
sported to certain parts of Boston, he might, for
a moment or two, fancy himself in a French or
German town.
He would soon be undeceived, too. Firstly,
by the cleanhness of everything around him.
Secondly, — when he came to walk a httle further
on — by the sight of a good substantial row of red
brick houses, banishing from his mind aU recol
lections of continental cities, and replacing them,
by certain points of view, in the outskirts of
his own metropohs. Through the half-opened
windows of these, the private residences of opulent
citizens, he would catch glimpses of neatness, of
comfort and of luxury, which would be fraught
vpith a sensation of Baker Street, and the purlieus
of the Regent's Park. Open casements would
reveal glances, of bright mirrors covered vrith gauze.

12 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
and chandeliers encased in brown holland, and
processions of naked nymphs on the ceihng, and
valuable gUt picture-frames containing highly-
coloured ancestors, with flowers of every hue, per
fuming the air outside from newly-painted bal
conies. From those abodes which are not shut
up, rarishing female faces would be thrust out
and too soon drawn back again ; and even those
where the shutters are tightly closed, reflect back
a certain sense of snugness and opulence, the sup
position being that the families occupying them
are, by this time — trying to persuade themselves
that they would not rather be at home — at some
watering-place. He would be back again, however — I mean the
imaginary person I am treating of — he would be
back again in France, directly he re-entered his
hotel. The office of the book-keeper (by whatever
name that person may be called here), with the
book for putting down your style, title and place
of abode ; the keys hanging round in rows, which
you have to apply for every time you mount to
your bedroom; the stupendous altitude of that
apartment above the level of the sea ; the habit of
dining at a table d'hote, instead of ordering your
dinner whenever you please, together with many
other circumstances, are indications that you are
in a country, where English habits and manners
are by no means exclusively followed.

BOSTON — FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 13
I only staid in Boston a sufficient time to see
the more notorious hons of the place — lions
aheady well known, and domesticated in the
British mind. When I had done this, I could
scarcely repress a feeling of regret at perceiving,
how much everything that met the eye and the
ear, resembled what I had left behind. Tt seemed
almost hke a disappointment, to have come three
thousand miles, without having — so to speak —
moved a single step. It is not, indeed, on in
specting the University of Cambridge — though
that differs as much from its namesake, as a
steam engine in the course of construction from a
worn-out old stage coach ; nor on looking down
upon the city from the monument of Bunker's
Hill; nor in rambling through the beautiful
suburb of Brooklyn; no, nor even perhaps on
getting into the railway cars — that the notion of
his being in a foreign country can be realised by
the traveller. This idea will then only be felt in
its full force, when, arrived at Fall River, he sees
the steam-boat " Empire State," ready to convey
him to New York.
" How so ? " I fancy I hear some one say " a
steam-boat is after all but a steam-boat." I allow
the truth of this assertion, in reference to the
water conveyances which ply between Liverpool
and Glasgow, or Portsmouth and Ryde. But to
apply the term to the " Emphe State " and the

14 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
" Bay State," can only be justified on the ground
that no other has been invented. The two great
funnels rising up out of the middle, hke the
spires of a cathedral — the tiers of balconies out
side — the army of negro waiters, drawn up to
receive you as you embark — the astounding cowp-
d'oeil presented by the various saloons, into each
of which you might stow the saloons of half-a-
dozen ocean steamers such as the Hibernia — all
this, and a great deal besides, strikes you with
the idea of a water village or a floating city, two
names which I recommend to the Direction, as
substitutes for the ridiculous misnomer " steam
boat." Supper, too, is invested with a degree of
romance, which I did not suppose could, by any
possibility, attach to that meal. Stretching ahnost
as far as the eye could reach, were, tables
laden with every kind of meats, and eatables in
general. Gorgeous chandehers reflected a brilhant
light throughout the saloon, and every here and
there, bouquets of flowers were tastefuUy dis
posed. The long rows of black waiters, who stood
in expectation of the company, clad in white gar
ments, appeared to me — who had never seen so
many ebony faces collected together, save at a
sweep's dinner — to communicate an Oriental air
to the scene.

BOSTON — FIRST IMPRESSIONS. 15
" With dazed vision unawares,
From the long alley's latticed shade
Emerged, I came upon the great
Pavilion of the Caliphat.
Right to the oarven cedam doors.
Hung inward over spangled floors.
Broad based flights of marble stairs
Ran up, with golden balustrade.
After the fashion of the time.
And humour of the golden prime
Of good Haroun Alraschid."
I do not mean to say, that the decorations of
American steamers, gorgeous as they may be, are
worthy of such a description as the above. The
lines suggested themselves to me at the moment
of entering, and I therefore quote them. Their
beauty, and the exquisite eastern perfume which
seems to breathe from them, would form an
apology for their introduction into a work on
political economy, or an edition of Euclid.
A comfortable bed awaited me, and early in
the morning I was aroused, by an unwonted noise
and bustle, to the consciousness that we were at
New York.

16 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY.

There is one want in America, for which, of
course, the Americans are in no way to blame, but
which must always be felt in a new country ; I
mean the want of any scenes or edifices haUowed
by a sense of antiquity. It is for this reason that
the traveUer from the United States takes such a
delight in ruins, and wiU go through unheard-of
difficulties to contemplate an object which bears
the undoubted stamp of age. It is a new emotion
— thus to see embodied before him a period of the
world, which he has hitherto only reached by the
aid of fancy.
For a partly similar reason, I rather rejoice in
the absence of antiquities from the New World.
I am glad that there is no old cathedral or monu
ment near New York, which I should absolutely
be obliged to see before quitting the place, and
that my time can be spent in obserring active
men and manners, not decaying wood and stone.
I do not underrate the importance of old things,
nor deny that they are capable of elevating and
refining the mind. But it is in France, Spain,
Italy, Greece, that these pleasures are to be

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 17
sought. We cross the Atlantic, not to contem
plate the remains of what has been, but the
corner-stone of what is to come, the scaffolding of
a new society, instead of the mouldering waUs of a
grass-grown Tower or Abbey.
This is the Broadway up which we are walking^
starting from Union Square, the most fashionable
part of the town. This is the same walk as Mr.
Dickens has aheady taken his reader, it is true ;
but surely the street is wide enough and large
enough for all, for the humblest etcher and sketcher
as well as the great novelist. Do not let us be
deterred. The same objects may not chance to
arrest our attention ; or, for aught we know, the
aspect of the street may be entirely changed since
that time. For recollect that eight years make a
century in transatlantic computation.
This is Union Square, and a very pretty square
I think I hear you pronounce it, and you are right.
There are houses here which would not disgrace
the most aristocratic parts of London or Paris.
There is a garden in the middle, with that pretty
addendum to a garden — a fountain. Nursemaids
are walking about in it with the children and babies
of wealthy Citizens. But you see that the In
habitants of the square do not possess the exclusive
right of entering the enclosure. There are no
keys to its gates, they swing open when you push
them. This is a little indication of democracy.

18 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
which you may approve of or disapprove of, as
you think fit. But let me tell you that the Sove
reign people are their own Commissioners of
Woods and Forests, and that they do the work
without being paid for it.
At the further end of the square stands the
Union Place Hotel, which, with the exception
perhaps of the New York Hotel, is the most
fashionable house in the City. Dinner is at the
reasonable hour of five o'clock, and it holds out
the further advantage of not pubhshing in the
daily ipapers the names ofthe travellers who arrive.
To an obscure personage this is an unimportant
consideration, but to a public man, or a British
Lord or Honorable, desirous of escaping intrusion,
I would say "keep your place of residence con
cealed." This is a very handsome Church, with the par
sonage annexed to it, standing a httle farther on,
on the left hand side of the way. Indeed the
Churches in New York are, for the most part, very
tasteful constructions, and reflect great credit on
their Architects. This one in particular looks
like an example of the stimulus communicated to
architecture by the High Church or "Puseyite"
party. The party is, I beheve, very much on the
increase in the United States, and provided it
stops short at its original object of reformino- the
laxities which have crept into the doctrines and

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 19
ceremonies of the Church, will have done more
good than harm.
While I have been talking, I remark that you
have been looking with astonishment at the door-
plates on each side of the way. I have noticed
the same thing. It is indeed a remarkable cir
cumstance that every one who lives in this part of
the street should be a Doctor. Of what, I should
hke to know ? If the city contain so many doc
tors of medicine, what an unhealthy population
there must be 5 if nearly every one be a doctor of
divinity, what a rehgious population !
We are not yet clear of the fashionable and into
the business part of the town. So that the rows
of houses on each side of the way are the houses of
opulent men — built of red brick — with the green
shutters closed up tight — looking clean and glist
ening behind the trees which shade them. There
is one over the way which has been pointed out to
me as belonging to the late John Jacob Astor, the
wealthiest merchant in the country. It is not so
fine as one might have expected, not so fine as
many others which could be pointed out. But
every thing is closed now, for all the fashion
ables are by this time striving to enjoy them
selves at one or other of the watering places —
at Newport, Saratoga, or Virginia Springs. It
is rarely that we meet a carriage, and still more
rare to see a coachman or footman in hvery. When
c2

20 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
it does occur, it is either on the back of a negro,
whom you cannot mistake, or an Irishman, who is
almost as easily recognised. The genuine Ameri
can thinks it beneath him, I am told, to wear the
badge of servitude. This is all very well, and he
has a right to hold that opinion and to act upon it.
I do not however pity the English Flunky, as
Mr. Jerrold, and other vn-iters of that stamp,
would have us to do. I believe that he is never
so happy as when exhibiting his calves, and for
my part, I cannot see that it is any degradation
to him to do so.
The edifice to the left is Niblo's "Gardens,"
called so on the well-known principle of the Latin
lucus and the Enghsh Speaker. A placard outside
informs us that "The Island of Jewels" and "Tick
lish Times" are to be the evening's entertainments.
If you were to go to another theatre you would see
" Box and Cox," at a third, " The Serious FamUy,"
and so on — the Americans, who have no dramatic
authors, adopting our mangled and wishy-washy
adaptations from the original French.
As one approaches the business part of the town,
the omnibuses, as might be expected, follow each
other in more rapid succession, and the crowd of
pedestrians becomes greater. Everything is hfe,
bustle and actirity. Faces of every hue and race
and nation shoot past you. Jew, Turk and Infidel
jostle each other on the pavement ; Celt, Sclaye,

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 21
and Anglo-Saxon tread upon each other's heels ;
here comes the Spaniard with his tawny face and
huge moustaches — there goes the German with
hazy expression like a cow chewing the cud — there
the Enghshman, pompous and padded. There are
more foreigners, I beheve, in New York than in
any other city of the United States. There is
certainly more life and energy, .and I think I might
venture to add — though this would be only a
guess — more enhghtenment and hberality of
feehng. An enormous red flag suspended across the
street, from side to side, now informs the passer-by
that this is the Olympic Theatre, where Pearce's
Black Serenaders are giving their nightly enter
tainments to crowded and fashionable audiences.
This is not an exaggeration. The Ethiopian hum
bug which three or four years ago was brought
over from the United States to England, and after
attracting attention for a httle while as a curiosity,
finally died a natural death, having in fact nothing
but its novelty to support it, has, nevertheless,
continued to flourish with undiminished lustre, in
the country which gave it birth. On the very day
of my arrival at Boston, happening to ask what
entertainment was going on in the town, I was
told "The Negro Melodists," and on visiting them
for an hour or so in the evening, found myself in
the midst of a crowded and applauding audience.

22 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Boston, New York, PhUadelphia, Baltimore and
Washington, support, each of them, their troupe
or troupes of serenaders at this very moment. So
do most of the western cities, as I see by the ad
vertisements in the Newspapers. La Somnamhula,
and other operas, are being played by the per
formers with their faces blacked, to suit the
popular taste. Negro melodies are hummed in
the streets. Young men when they meet you and
wish to appear comical, imitate the peculiar chuckle
of the sable race. This painful state of things has
been going on for several years.
The worst of aU this is the tendency which such
an unwholesome appetite must possess to deprave
the public taste, and to retard the dawning of
anything like a sound National Dramatic Litera
ture. The more educated Americans view the
matter in precisely the same light. They would
like to see a class of comedies and farces spring up,
which should dehneate the manners and customs
of the white population, and should be susceptible
of artistic treatment and refined acting. They are
disgusted that the people should view in any other
light than as a passing curiosity, the efforts to pour-
tray the "low-hfe" of an inferior race, by means of
gross gestures, buffoonish grimaces and inane
parodies. And thinking, with Voltaire, that the
best notions of a people can be gained by hearing
their national melodies, they ask "What must
foreigners think of us?"

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 23
You will remark that we have passed no public-
houses, nor gin-palaces. Every now and then, as
we walk by the door of an hotel, we see a crowd of
gentlemen sitting in the hall, smoking cigars, with
their legs resting on any object sufficiently elevated
for that purpose; hung up by the feet in this
manner, they bear somewhat the appearance of
slaughtered sheep. We are close upon the Irring-
House and the Astor-House, the two largest hotels
in New York, both of which are in the Broadway.
In these hotels you would procure every luxury
that money could command. You would get good
society, good dinners, good vrine, good everything.
But neither here, nor in any other hotel in
America, nor in any other quarter of tbe globe,
would you be either "snug" or "cosy." These
two words — the two most national words in our
language — are exotics in every other country but
England. When translated, or transplanted, they
wither and die off, hke the ideas which they are
intended to convey.
In the fine square in which we have arrived,
stands the city haU, an elegant building, fronted
vrith white marble. We have, however, seen
enough of law and lawyers for some time to come,
and wiU accordingly push on towards a building
which attracts our attention at the end of the
square. This is Barnum's Museum. The outside is com-

24> ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
pletely plastered over with paintings of animals
and birds. The paintings, being oval in shape and
stuck against the waU, resemble tablets. Above
and below, and on aU sides of these gaudy-looking
tablets, flags seem to grow out of the bricks. The
flag-staffs are about five feet long, and the standards
which fiap at the end of them are of every age and
country. In one of the balconies, a most detest
able brass band is playing loud tunes to inrite the
people within. Decidedly, Barnum's Museum is
the most conspicuous building in New York.
It must not, however, be supposed that this
enormous institution is nothing more than a gi
gantic show, or a traveUing caravan magnified and
made stationary. The position which it occupies
in New York is entirely different ; it being to aU
intents and purposes the best Museum in the city
— for aught I know, the only one. Indeed, I
should not be surprised if amidst the rubbish which
it contains, there be one or two articles to a cer
tain extent curious and interesting. But the name
which it bears is its greatest attraction. Barnum
is not an ordinary showman. He is not one who
will be handed dovm to posterity, only on the
strength of the objects which he has exhibited, or
the curiosities which he has brought to hght. He
stands alone. Adoptuig Mr. Emerson's idea, I
should say that Barnum is a representative man.
He represents the enterprise and energy of his

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 25
countrymen in the nineteenth century, as Wash
ington represented their resistance to oppression in
the century preceding. By "going-a-head" to an
.extent hitherto unprecedented in his trade — devoid
of any absurd delicacy as to the means by which
the ends are to be accomplished — he has endeared
himself to the middle and lower ranks of his coun
trymen, and seems to stand forth proud and pre
eminent as their model of a speculator and a man.
I firmly believe that there are few commercial
people in the United States who would not look
upon Barnum as a congenial, though a superior
spirit ; or at all events who do not feel a pride,
albeit a secret one, in his exploits.
The rise of this iUustrious person, like that of
some of his fellows, would seem to be veiled in ob
scurity. Whether he rose to fame on a fabulous
griffin, or reached the wished-for goal on the back
of an eight-legged horse, must remain matter of
conjecture. His more recent exploits are well'
known. They are. Firstly. — The discovery of an
extraordinary fish (if I remember aright). Second
ly. — The production of a Quaker giant. Thirdly.
— Of a giantess to match, who married the giant.
Fourthly. — Of an old black woman, either a nurse
or an attendant of some sort on General Washing-
ton, who related anecdotes of the patriot in infancy.
Fifthly.— Of Tom Thumb. Sixthly.— Of Jenny
Lind. Seventhly, Eightly and Ninthly. — Of a

26 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
giantess and giant boy ; some Chinese gentlemen
and ladies of high rank ; and a negro who has dis
covered a process of turning his skin from black to
white by means of a herb, which process he is now
undergoing. Independently of which, I have heard
that Mr. Barnum has a third share of some ghosts,
who are now showing off their "mysterious rap-
pings" to enthusiastic audiences.
The interior of this great temple of jugglery is
worth just a few words. The vestibule or entrance
hall is a Madame Tussaud's on a smaU scale, con
taining the trial of Christ, the Siamese-twins, St.
Paul incarcerated (and flattening his nose against
the bars of his cell), a family of drunken people,
and other marvels, rudely executed in white tal
lowy-looking wax. On the first and second floor
there are what maybe termed picture galleries, the
walls of the rooms being covered with daubs of emi
nent Americans — Governors of States, — Signers
of Declarations, and so on. Higher up are the
stuffed animals, which being unsusceptible of im
posture — a lion is a lion, and a tiger a tiger aU
the world over — form the best part of the exhibi
tion. Besides which, there are framed and hung
up all about the place various objects of great cu-
.riosity — for instance, an English Deed of Lease
and Release executed in the eighteenth century,
an order admitting the bearer to view the state
apartments of Buckingham Palace, plenty of two-

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY.. 27
penny prints of Kean, Dowton and other actors,
and, if I recollect rightly, a framed and glazed
advertisement of somebody's Macassar-oil. But
decidedly the greatest curiosity and that which
attracts most attention, is the carriage of the late
Gueen Dowager Adelaide, with a wax coachman
on the box, and two footmen of the same materied
standing up behind, the whole of the three clad in
gorgeous state hveries. Besides the vast number
of rooms which contain aU this rubbish, a theatre,
a lecture-room, and I do not know what else, are
attached to the estabhshment.
Conversing, one day, vrith a very stout and re
markably good-natured old lady, whom I met in
one of the rooms (a giantess, as it afterwards turned
out, though I had not the shghtest idea of it at the
time), I was informed that Mr. Barnum has a truly
magnificent country-seat in the State of Connec
ticut, and that he is in a fair way of becoming one
of the wealthiest private indiriduals in America.
Decidedly the most successful speculation which
he ever undertook was the exhibition of Tom
Thumb ; that of Madlle. Lind may prove almost as
advantageous. After passing Barnum's — and one is now fairly
in the business -part ofthe city — one of the remarks
which the stranger wiU make is the great number
of Daguerreotyping estabhshments on both sides of
the way. This process has not, indeed, been re-

28 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
ceived with the same favour in England, as it has
met with in France and America. The fact is, that
the cloudy nature of the British sky prevents such
a good hkeness from being taken here as elsewhere.
The Sun, too, is a rude and rough portrait painter,
vrithout the dehcate touch of a Thorburn or a
Pickersgill, so pleasing to our ladies. He is in
capable of softening down a pimple, of throwing a
shade of poetry over a snub nose, or of making a
large mouth look incontrovertibly small. So that
we Londoners do not patronize him ; and, to be
just, he seldom intrudes upon us.
We are now opposite Wall Street, the most busy
and commercial of all the busy streets in New
York. Here are the counting-houses and offices of
the merchants, who in the afternoon go off to dine
at their mansions in the fashionable parts of the
city, at their pretty rillas in Staten Island, at their
country-houses beyond Brooklyn. To our right
is a truly beautiful church, with a lofty spire. The
street is broad, the houses clean and tasteful, the
shop-fronts quite Parisian, the sky clear, the
women who pass along good-looking and tastefuUy
dressed, and altogether it is worth while standing
stiU for a few minutes to contemplate this part of
the Broadway.
Talking of women, a remark in Reed and Ma-
theson's work on America occurs to my mind. In
page 6, it is said —

A WALK IN THE BROADWAY. 29
" The ladies who were using the Broadway as
a promenade, struck me as of less stature than our's.
Those who aspired to fashion, used Parisian
dresses; and they had a mincing tread, which is
meant to be Parisian, but is certainly not so: it
is affectation and therefore disagreeable."
I did not, myself,.notice this mincing tread. But
it may be observed that all the ladies in America
dress after the French style. In this I think they
shew exceeding taste and wisdom. Enghshwomen
are, according to my humble opinion, the most
beautiful on the face of the earth. They cer
tainly have the finest complexions and, above all
things, the softest and sweetest voices, a point in
which they enjoy a decided advantage over the
women of America. The archness and vivacity of
the Parisienne, can scarcely rank as greater charms
than that delicacy of tone and refinement of man
ner, to be observed in the high-bred English lady.
But if anything were wanting to turn the scale in
favor of the latter, it would be that she is charming
in spite of those shapeless dresses and cumbrous
shawls by means of which she obscures her form
from the unhallowed eye — in spite of what some
writer speaks of as "the toilet for which the
British female is so remarkable aU over the known
globe." It was the same, by the bye, in the days
of Goldsmith. In one of his essays, he says
" Foreigners observe that there are no ladies in

30 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
the world more beautiful, or more ill-dressed than
those of England. Our country-women have been
compared to those pictures, where the face is the
work of a Raphael, but the draperies thrown out
by some empty pretender, destitute of taste, and
entirely unacquainted vrith design."
We are at the end of the Broadway. To the
right stands Delmonico's, the most comfortable
hotel in New York, and concerning which I have
a word or two to say in the next chapter. Let us
go in and rest ourselves.

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONICO's. 31

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONICO'S.

" Give these rascally authors an inch and they'll
take an eU." Haring walked arm-in-arm vrith the
reader down the whole of the Broadway, and
through the whole of a chapter, with a degree of
letter-press familiarity for which I feel that I can
make no excuse, it may reasonably be expected
that I shaU stick pretty close to him in this our — if
I may so term it — refreshment-chapter, and not re
lease my hold of him, till he and I have sat down
together to a good dinner. See, if it were winter ;
the " lumina prima" would be coming on ; it is
the dinner hour of Horace and Maecenas. Del
monico's door stands invitingly open. Ten Thou
sand blessings on the author of this little oasis in
the cuhnary desert around ! Let us go in. Here
is th^ salle a manger garrisoned with a corps of
bearded waiters — Germans, Dutchmen and French.
We are out of America now. You shall pay for
the dinner and I will eat it. Actors and authors,
you know, have always left their purses at home.
Dulce est desipere in loco. While our dinner is
being prepared, we may indulge in a little innocent

32 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
conversation on the dinners of other people. Let
us talk, with a shudder, of the bachelor-dinners of
our fathers and grandfathers. What an extra
ordinary taste they displayed in the selection of
their coffee-houses and eating-rooms! I beheve
that most of these eating-rooms are unknown to
the present generation, having been converted into
wine-cellars, coal-holes, receptacles for lumber,
dust-bins, and other conveniences of that descrip
tion. They are, however, occasionally to be met
with in the city and the neighbourhood of Covent
Garden ; long sanded rooms in the back part of the
house or underground, partitioned off into dark
narrow boxes, surmounted by red curtains. It
was in these places, that fifty or sixty years ago,
men of the first quality eat their dinners, by candle
light, while a magnificent summer sun was shining
above them, away out of sight. Our forefathers,
in their bachelor days, do not appear indeed to have
considered themselves snugly placed at their meals,
unless their view were bounded by a brick waU,
and to look off one's beefsteak or mutton chop, and
encounter the stump of a tree, a small courtyard, or
a pump, must have been the acme of all that was
then esteemed cosy and agreeable.
But, strange as this taste must appear, I do not
know whether I would not rather eat my dinner,
even in this gloomy and funereal manner, than
after the fashion in which I am forced to eat it at

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONlCO's. 33
an American hotel. In the first place, I am com
peUed to sit down with sixty or seventy people,
who are more properly gorging down food than
eating, in the midst of a struggling for dishes, a
clattering of dish-covers, a rushing to and fro of
Negro or Irish waiters — in short, in the midst of
every thing that can communicate a sense of hurry
and discomfort to the meal. In the second place,
I am compelled to do all this in the middle of the
day, at a period when mankind should be break
fasting, and to go about my afternoon business
with an aching head and a sense of indigestion.
In the third place, I am scarcely allowed a mo
ment's respite after the cloth has been cleared
away. Every one rises from the table ; I alone
keep the attendants waiting. This is an un
pleasant position for any man. The English idea
of " after dinner sit awhile" does not enter into
the head of an American. Instead of a light
luncheon in the middle of the day, and a com
fortable dinner taken leisurely at its close, when
the cares of business are over, he gorges himself
at one, two, or three o'clock, hurries to the bar,
where he drinks mint julep, and other deleterious
compounds, standing up — lights a strong cigar, and
dashes, breathless, through the hot streets, ex-
peUing the saliva necessary for digestion — and,
finaUy, sits dovm, bursting with tough mutton, and
hot pork and beans, to vrrite in a close counting-
D

34 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
house, vrith two more enormous meals in view,
namely, tea and supper, at the close of the day.
No wonder that nine out of ten persons whom
you meet, look miserable, sallow and dyspeptic.
The difference between these two kiads of re
pasts, which I may be permitted to compare, the
one to a showy ball supper, where the ladies are
beautiful, and the lamps are glaring, but the gen
tlemen get nothing to eat ; the other to a snug
funeral luncheon, where every one is in black and
in tears, but the beef and mutton are unquestion
ably good — the difference between these repasts is
not greater than exists between an Enghsh and an
American family dinner. Amongst the upper-
middling, the mercantile and professional classes
of English, dinner is the great event of the day ;
the hospitable port to which our morning and af
ternoon toils and labours are insensibly wafting
us ; the peaceful vale into which we descend after
haring borne the brunt of the mid-day sun. With
it commences a new era. Papa returns from West
minster-hall or the city, Julia and Angehna from
their drive with mamma in the Park, CadwaUader
from his club. It is a mystery and a solemn rite,
to the due celebration of which a total change of
toilet, and the assumption of evening costume, are
necessary. We devote the rest of the day, in a
certain sense, to recreation, and banish business
from our minds tiU the ensuing morning. So that

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONlCO's. 35
the English merchant's, or lawyer's, day admits of
these two principal divisions, to wit, the ante
prandial and the post-prandial hours.
Dinner in the bosom of an American family can
only be compared to a religious rite or ceremony,
in this respect, that every one is anxious to get
through it as soon as possible. Occurring in the
middle of the day, it is so far from being the
optata meta of our daily exertions, the bar and
hindrance to the transaction of aU further business,
that it may be looked upon merely as the connect
ing link between the writing of two commercial
letters, the drawing up of two conveyances, the
overhauling of two bales of goods.* Papa rushes
in from his office or his chambers. Homer and
Otis from somewhere else ; they aU sit down
in statu quo. In an hour the affair is over, and
every one at his business again. It is fearful to
see so great a meal made so hght of, and di
vested of the halo of poetry, which more cirihzed
nations have succeeded in throwing over it. Of
the two theories with regard to this, the prince of
repasts, I own myself a humble adherent of the
Cis-Atlantic or British.

* These remarks do not apply to the merchants and pro
fessional men of New York, who, I am told, have adopted
the European fashion of dining in a respectable and com
fortable manner. But New York is scarcely an American city.
d2

36 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
But here, my dear Sir, I am afraid that all com
mendation of our countrymen must cease. The
scented billets received so long in advance, the '
uncomfortable tail-coat, the polished boots, the
thundering rap at the door, and all the solemnities
which they have contrived to render necessary to
a dinner-party, are too often the rumblings of the
mountain, to herald the advent of the mouse. The
fact is, that the culinary art has never been studied
in England. While the genius of the nation has
successfully explored the utmost bounds of the
earth, investigated the laws of the heavenly bodies,
produced philosophical systems, devoted itself to
poetry, history, the drama, the stage and the pul
pit — beef, mutton and veal have been left a com
paratively unknown and unexplored field of
enterprise. While the roast beef of old England
has been turning steadily before the fire, and the
chops and steaks of old England have descended,-
without the addition of a single sauce or condi
ment, into the mouth of young England, it is
worth while to contemplate the progress which has
taken place amongst a neighbouring people. How
many thousand dishes have burst from the womb
of nothingness into succulence and flavour ! How
many sauces and essences have flowed from the •
creative brain, irrigating the dry joints, like another
Nile ! How many great geniuses are at this mo
ment, employed upon the saute-pans and the pot-

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONICO's 37
au-feu ! Into what an appetising plat would the
magic touch of Soyer transform those now neg
lected morsels, which flnd their way to the Station-
house, hke malefactors, in the pocket of the
pohceman. But it is useless further to pursue a
theme, with which every one is acquainted,
I know that there are very many sensible per
sons who, in opposition to this, would contend that
cookery is rather a physical labour, than a high and
intellectual art. Never having known anything
better, they continue, from choice, to toil at the
old stale things, day after day, as the Cannibal,
ignorant of animal food, is not to be torn from his
cold traveller or his Missionary pie. And yet,
that such opinions should be found to exist in a
cirihzed country, must appear wonderful. We
possess, indeed, five senses; for four of which.
Taste and Genius have, from the earliest ages, been
engaged in preparing suitable objects of pleasure
and enjoyment. Landseer and Muheady are em
ployed on the part of the eye ; Sims Reeves and
Catherine Hayes sing to please the ear ; Rowland
and his son are at hand to tickle the nose ; hun
dreds of others are manufacturing soft articles for
the touch — but what Enghshman has ever done
anything for the organ of taste ? Yet it is the
first of aU the organs. A man may hve, without
seeing, without hearing, without smelhng, but not
without eating and drinking.

38 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
For these reasons, I rejoice that the Great
Soyer has arisen, like a new planet, or a new dish,
to effect a revolution in our ideas. The prose of
Glasse and of Rundell will sink into oblivion be
fore the poetry of the Gastronomic Regenerator.
Indeed, the most magnificent idea in the whole
range of modern poetry, is to be found in page
415 of his Modern Housewife. The bard sup
poses a boy, of ten years of age, to be placed on a
lofty eminence, and to have exhibited before his
eyes, all the food which his then insignificant per
son would consume before he attained his seventy-
first year, supposing him to Hve so long. With
this supposition, and on a moderate computation,
M. Soyer informs us that he would find himself
surrounded by 30 oxen, 200 sheep, 100 calves,
200 lambs, 50 pigs, 1200 fowls, 30,000 oysters,
300,000 prawns— and so on, for a whole page.
There is something very touching in bringing, at
one view, before the eye, the flocks of animals, the
flights of birds, and the shoals of fish, which are
destined, in the course of a long series of years,
to find their way into the stomach. I know of no
conception in Shakespeare more simply grand and
majestic than this.
M. Soyer should not, however, confine himself
to Housewives and Cookery Books. He should
inculcate his ideas, like every one else, through a
novel, which might be either in three volumes or

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONICO's. 39
twenty shilhng numbers. In the first chapter,
the hero might be discovered eating pork and
peas-pudding, or some other dreadful compound ;
he should not be brought to a correct French taste
tUl the end of the third volume. His reformation
might be effected through the medium of the
heroine, a lovely girl who follows him everywhere
in disguise, making soups and stews for him. In
the last chapter, they might marry — with the re
ceipts for aU the dishes in the appendix. Or,
following the style of Eugene Sue, they might
partake of an excellent supper together, and then
poison themselves — a great deal of space being
devoted to the supper, and very httle to the poison
ing. There are many ways in which such a book
might be made highly entertaining and useful.
Independently of its being adapted to form the
subject of plays, poems, and romances, the cuh
nary art would furnish many a useful hint to
the historian, if he were disposed to avail himself
of its neglected aid. It is not sufficient that
Mr. Macaulay should have learnt Dutch, before
commencing his great work ; he ought, besides,
to have undergone a six month's apprenticeship in
the kitchen. Let us take the first dish that you
have ordered, for example. What is it? Sole
au gratin. Ah, that is composed, principally, of
sole and mushrooms ; — let us recoUect if there be
any passage of history where soles occur. I do

40 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC,
not remember one. Mushrooms ? Oh ! a Roman
Empress poisoned her husband with a dish of
them. Agrippina poisoned the so-called driveller
Claudius with mushrooms. What a magnificent
field does the knowledge of this fact open for a
disquisition or an essay !
In the first place, Agrippina, who must be sup
posed to have been well acquainted with her hus
band's tastes, would scarcely have selected, as the
receptacle for the poison, any dish of which she
did not feel sure that he would partake. We may
even go farther, and affirm that she chose one of
which she knew, that he would eat the whole con
tents, lest what remained on the dish should, hy
its colour or smell, or other appearances, have
revealed the secret. Mushrooms, then, formed
the favourite dish of the Emperor Claudius. Here
is an important fact elicited at once. Without
the aid of contemporary history, we should be in
a condition to affirm triumphantly in an appendix,
or to vindicate in a foot-note, the fact that mush
rooms, constituted the lonne-houche of the fourth,
or, if you like better, the fifth Roman Emperor.
In the next place, what a light does this appa
rently trivial circumstance throw upon the cha
racter and piusuits of Claudius. We are, naturally,
more affected at the death of a man who loved
mushrooms than at the death of one who did not.
He was " avidissimus talium," says Suetonius,

A LITTLE DINNER AT DELMONlCO's. 41
which may be freely translated, "he lived prin
cipally upon these kind of things." Upon what
kind of things? Why, clearly upon the things
resembling mushrooms. Upon radishes, cucum
bers, vegetable-marrows, turnips, and beetroot.
In fact, his was a vegetable diet. I do not know
how far this discovery may carry us, for it places
the character of this much maligned individual
in quite a different light. We no longer pic
ture him to ourselves, washing dovm. slices of
the Lucanian boar with goblets of the sparkhng
Falernian, but as a quiet old gentleman, gobbhng
down his caidiflower and drinking his camomile
tea ; solacing himself with a vegetable diet, and,
who knows, perhaps even doctoring himself with
vegetable piUs. It is impossible to conceive that
such a one could be other than just, generous, and
humane. I could prove a great many other things from
this simple circumstance (for I have not studied
the works of our critics and antiquarians in vain)
did I not perceive that, at this moment, the dinner
is coming in. It is time, therefore, for me to
conclude. 1 am of the opinion of the illustrious
Alderman, at the Civic Banquet, who, when the
gentleman next him made some remark or other,
and paused, expecting a reply, calmly but indig-
dignantly rebuked the speaker in the foUowing
words : " Sir, when you are at dinner, you should

42 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
never talk. Do you know, that in endeavouring
to attend to your observations, I have just swal
lowed three morsels of fat, without perceiving their
flavour ! "

A LAW-COURT. 43

A LAW COURT.

Notwithstanding that I was a little sick of
Blackstone and Feame, I attended the Court of
Common Pleas, whUst in New York, thinking that
it would furnish me with as favourable a specimen
of the superior law-courts of the country, as I
could hope to find. It was a square, white-washed
apartment, not much larger than a bar-room at
one of the hotels. Under a red canopy, on a
bench shghtly elevated above the rest, sate the
Judge, a respectable and inteUigent-looking man.
An insurance case was going on. A barrister was
addressing the jury, with much earnestness and
gesticulation, and, it must be owned, with that
sharp nasal twang which is so universally pirevalent
in this country. Around him sate the members
of the bar, some in brown holland blouses, some
with huge imperials on their chins, some balancing
themselves in theirchairs against the raihngs which
dirided them from the spectators, and hanging
their legs over the backs of other chairs, nearly
aU intent on getting rid of their saliva, and im
printing the wet seal of the Republic on every

44 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
object in their ricinity. In this national pastime,
(which is too well known to need further comment)
the Judge displayed a laudable proficiency. Two
gentlemen (apparently reporters) seated at a table
to the left of the bench, the jury, and half-a-dozen
idle spectators like myself, completed the assem
blage. The jury were arranged in two rows, and
before each row were placed two spittoons, so that
no gentleman had to expectorate a greater dis
tance than past three of his fellow jurymen — a
wise precaution, providing against the incapacity
of a bad shot.
A glance at such a scene was sufficient to show
that there was a total absenc6 of dignity about it.
A stranger would, indeed, have sought in vain for
the statehness of a Denman, or the melodious tones
of a Thesiger, in an assembly where aU appeared
to be pretty much on a level (as, perhaps, in a
Republic they should be), and you might have
mistaken the crier of the court for the Judge, and
the Judge for the crier. But to argue from this
circumstance that a fair trial cannot be had in the
United States, that the Judges are not sound law
yers, and the barristers great advocates, would be
a " most lame and impotent conclusion." Where
dignity is to be obtained, as it almost always can
be in an old and aristocratical country, it is the
most fitting attendant upon impartiahty, and in
England we happily unite the two. But where

A LAW COURT. 45
the sacrifice of one thing or the other becomes
necessary, it would be better to put one's case into
the hands of three Texan Judges, chewing tobacco
in banc, than sit before as many noble Inquisitors,
robed in purple, and ermine, and gold.
¦The counsel on the present occasion, for in
stance, might have what to me was an unpleasant
manner. He might make use of his nose rather
more freely than either Sir Fitzroy Kelly or
Mr. Bethell would have done. But if from that
nose feU words of burning eloquence or earnest
persuasion, who can quarrel with his employing
an organ which, after all, he devoted to so good a
purpose? Accordingly, it appeared to me that
the counsel was a man of considerable ability.
His language was good, his metaphors often well
chosen, and, although I arrived too late in the
course of the trial to be made acquainted with all
the facts, yet he appeared, as far as I could judge,
to place his case (that for the defence) before the
jury, in the strongest point of view.
The same remark applies to the Judge, whose
charge was lucid and well-worded. The only
pecuharity that I remarked was this, that his
Honour and the jury stood up during the time of
its dehvery, the spectators and the bar remaining
sitting. Surely, this is not quite as it should be.
For the mind of a Judge to be in that perfectly
easy and tranquil state, so necessary to enable

46 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
him to call attention to facts and details, his body
should be in the most easy position also. His
remarks are always — or, rather, should be always
— of a very different character from the impas
sioned appeals of the advocate, the preacher, or
the statesman, who have found that the standing
posture is the one best adapted to give effect to
their speeches. As to the jury, there is no doubt
that we give more eamest attention to a long
address, when we are sitting down, than when we
are standing up. These charges must of neces
sity last, on some occasions, for several hours, and
physical is a sure prelude to mental exhaustion.
On the whole, J left the court pleased vrith my
first specimen of an American trial ; pleased, that
is to say, by the seeming intelhgence and impar
tiality of those concemed in it.

PHILADELPHIA. 47

NEW YORK TO PHILADELPHIA.

In travelhng from New York to Philadelphia,
through New Jersey, nothing surprised me so
much as the English look of the country on both
sides of the line. I made the same remark on my
way from Boston to New York.
Those who have travelled much on the con
tinent of Europe, will more readily understand my
meaning. Whenever la belle France is vociferated
by a bearded Frenchman, the expression wiU, for
the most part, recall a dusty, badly-paved road
lying open to view, without a tree or a hedge on
either side of it, for miles and miles in a straight
line before you. The country, to the right and
left, looking hke one enormous field, without any
subdivisions ; wheat running into barley, and bar
ley subsiding into oats, and oats joined on to
wheat again, the whole, just for aU the world, hke
one vast parish allotment. Formal rows of trees,
here and there, with, every now and then, a savage
forest to break in upon the scene. Dirty villages,
where hfe itself appears to have decayed along
with the decaying roofs, and mouldered with the

48 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
mouldering walls. None of the winding roads
and shady lanes, the blooming hedge-rows and
charming country-seats, the neat villages, the cosy
garden-like appearance, of England. In most
other European countries, the beauties which
exist, are the beauties of nature. The climate of
Italy, the glaciers of Switzerland, the mountains
on the Rhine, are what no effort of industry can
procure for us. But if you wish to see what
energy and art can accomplish, travel into Hert
fordshire, into Surrey, into Kent.
The line of country through which I passed, in
Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and New Jersey,
reminds me very strongly of England. You might
fancv yourself in some parts of Gloucestershire,
stone walls being built to divide the fields instead
of hedge-rows. As the train moves slowly along,
you catch glimpses, of neat villages, and tidy
women standing before the doors with babies in
their arms ; of light carriages — called here " wag
gons" — rattling down shady lanes, with pleasure-
parties inside ; of neatly-kept farm-houses, and
elegant gentlemen's seats ; the country decidedly
presenting the appearance of being more densely
populated than it really is.

PHILADELPHIA. . 49

PHILADELPHIA.

Writers have usually represented Philadelphia
as a very prim and formal city, very clean and
neat, very full of Quakers and Quakeresses. The
latter part of the description is becoming every
day less apphcable — the famihes of wealthy Qua
kers, here as elsewhere, being usually converted
to some more fashionable and dressy rehgion ;
vrith regard to the cleanness and neatness there
can be no doubt. There seems, indeed, to be a
total absence of that fine ciric spirit which throws
such obstacles in the way of cleansing or draining
a river or a town — that spirit which contemplated
with regret the pulling dovm of the Rookery —
which has shielded, and will shield, its cattle-
market from the attacks of a thousand pens.
The name of the " Village-city," which I heard
given to it by some gentleman, seems the most
appropriate to Philadelphia, uniting, as it does,
the quiet air of a rillage with the size of a large
city. At the time that I was there, however,
every one that could afford it was out of town.
Most of the inhabitants were located in some

50 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
watering-place. Of these watering-places, New
port, in Rhode Island, and Saratoga, in New York,
are the most fashionable. Cape May, a httle
place at the distance of four hours from the city,
is the democratic place of amusement — the Heme
Bay, the Broadstairs, the Margate, the Ramsgate,
the Gravesend, of the state of Pennsylvania. Here,
I am told, you find yourself in a double-bedded
room with your tailor, or sit down at dinner be
side the gentleman who supphes you with vege
tables, but without the same pririlege of cutting
the obnoxious persons at a future period, which
you would possess, and, of course, exercise, in the
case of an English watering-place. There are
also, in the immediate vicinity of the city, loca
lities devoted to other and more temporary kinds
of amusement. It is, indeed, a gay sight, of an
afternoon, to watch the steamers speeding on their
way to Gloucester, and Camden, and Redbank,
laden with whole cargoes of white trowsers and
fluttering parasols; it is a pleasant thing to be
spun along the suburban roads in one of those
thin, Hght waggons, which seem scarcely adapted
to run on smooth marble ; to watch waggon after
waggon passing you at racing pace down ffinty
hiUs and unmended lanes ; to linger of an evening
in the cemetery of Laurel HiU, and observe people
enjoying themselves among the tombs, and whis
pering the tale of soft affection in that really

PHILADELPHIA. 51
engaging spot. An afternoon spent at any of
these places fills one with satisfaction at sight of
the innocent and happy recreations of the people.
There are other recreations prevalent, however,
which appear to me — though I frankly own that
I may be prejudiced — to be of a more objection
able kind. They are much indulged in by the
Irish emigrants, aided and abetted by the lowest
class of Americans, and consist, for the most part,
in light skirmishes with the negro population,
firing loaded pistols down the streets at random,
and getting up conflagrations on an extensive scale
for a Saturday, Sunday, or Holiday night's amuse
ment. A paragraph, which I copied out of a
New York paper, shall speak for itself : —
" Two assassinations, a highway robbery, several
smaU depredations, and the weekly number of
riots in Philadelphia, have at length induced the
good people of that city to ask themselves, ' Is it
safe any longer to Hve here ?' Now, we hear of
a gang of ruffians in Southwark — then an engine-
fight in Moyamensing — a terrible meUe in Blockley
— an awful fire and fight in Kensington — and so
on, to the end of the chapter. Here a man is
shot — there another is knocked down with a
bludgeon, and the coroner is almost worn down by
excessive duties."
The fact is, that liberty is so great, as to go
rather beyond its mark. The sovereign people

52 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
are a great deal too free to look with complacency
upon the despotic institution called, in degenerate
countries, " PoHcemen." The consequence is, a
beautiful sense of independence, it is true, but
also a sense of its being slightly unpleasant to
walk about the streets at nightfaU.
As to fires of aU kinds, whether accidental or
incendiary, judging from the fact that habit
deadens our sensibilities, I should imagine that
they cannot cause the same excitement in Ame
rica as in England. With us, the shghtest tinge
of fire in the evening horizon empties the pubhc-
houses of the neighbourhood, and acts Hke a
legitimate drama upon the theatres ; while, from
all quarters, rush troops of breathless spectators
to stand in the way of the firemen, and prevent its
being put out. Here the case is different. The
fire-companies are, to a certain extent, voluntary
associations, made up of private citizens, who, by
belonging to them, avoid the performance of cer
tain duties, which would otherwise be imposed
upon them by the State. The cities are divided
into so many districts. Every night, bells are
rung from the steeples, to inform the inhabitants
in what district or districts the fires of the night
are situated. It then becomes the duty of every
member of a company to help to extinguish his
ovni conflagration ; not, to interfere with those of
the other districts. In Philadelphia, I was aroused

PHILADELPHIA. 53
from sleep at periods varying from eleven o'clock
at night to five in the morning, when the rattling
of engines, the baying of dogs, and the shouts of
men and women were heard, close at hand, or in
the distance, according to circumstances. The
great conflagration, which took place here some
time ago, destroyed upwards of three hundred and
fifty houses ! It is, however, fortunate (according
to the ideas of some) that they were the houses of
the poorer classes, and that the fire did not inter
fere with the abodes of wealthy men, which would
have risked the destruction of some of the most
beautiful streets in the city.
Philadelphia, as every one knows, is built like
a chess-board, the streets crossing each other at
right angles with ahnost painful regularity. There
are, you may be sure, museums, athenaeums, public
buildings, churches, theatres, and so forth. It
also boasts to have the best society in the Union
— aU the other cities boast the same thing— I
mean, however, that, in all probabiHty, it does
have the best. Certainly, the few that I saw
were highly intellectual and pohshed people. It
is said, too, to be a much more difficult thing to
be admitted into the refined circles here than in
New York, where there is such an influx of
strangers, and so many changes are constantly
taking place, that society lacks tone, and rests
upon a sandy and unsoHd foimdation. That is

54 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
what the Philadelphians say. The New Yorkers,
I believe, are not exactly of the same opinion.
One of the days that I spent in the city, was that
appointed for the grand funeral procession, in
honor of the late President. Thes6 processions
are of very rare occurrence, taking place only on
the death of some very great hero, such as Wash
ington, Jackson, and Harrison, so that I deemed
myself particularly lucky in haring an opportunity
of vritnessing one. Philadelphia, too, being the
second city in the Union, it was supposed that the
demonstration would be extremely grand and
striking. The first eridence of the approaching event was
the appearance in my room, after I was up and
dressed, of some of the younger branches of the
family at whose hospitable mansion I was located.
They bore in their arms long streamers of crape,
ornamented with white rosettes, to be suspended
outside the vrindows as a sign of mourning. The
hotels, pubhc edifices and residences of the prin
cipal govemment officers, were for the most part
similarly decorated, in honor of the late chief
magistrate. At about eleven o'clock, I went out
with the intention of seeing the procession form.
But to stand in the middle of a dense crowd, vrith
the sun pouring down upon one's head, at a time
when the thermometer stands at ninety-eight de
grees in the shade, is not particularly pleasant

PHILADELPHIA. 55
even for a person dressed in white pantaloons and
a blouse. What those poor feUows must have felt,
with their ponderous caps, enormous jack-boots,
weighty muskets, thick cloth coats, and all the
paraphemaha of mihtary Hfe clinging to their
perspiring frames, I cannot for my part imagine.
I could only compare them to a regiment of the
Blues exercising in a hot oven ; and as I burst out
of the crowd, aU Hmp and fainting, thought of the
barbarous nations who sacrificed human victims, to
the memory of some distinguished noble or warrior.
At about one o'clock we caught the first glimpse
of the great procession, which was expected to
contain more than ten thousand persons. A troop
of mihtia or volunteers marched down the street,
with flying colours, and to the tune of a tolerable
band, which accompanied them. Their uniform
was handsome, and their appearance martial.
They were succeeded by other troops, and com
panies of militia, in a long row ; some being
cavalry and some infantry regilnents, and aU wear
ing different uniforms. There were also a great
quantity of bands, whose tunes, as it were, blended
into one another, so that whilst you were still
Hstening to the " Old Hundredth" in one direction,
" HaU Columbia" was coming down upon you
from the opposite end of the street. The mo
notony of the passing mihtia was at length broken
by the appearance of a select band of veterans,

56 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
mounted upon horses, and clad in dusty green
uniforms. Upon these, the crowd gazed with al
most breathless veneration, for they had fought
Under him whom they were now assembled to
honor: they were soldiers of the Mexican war.
These were foUowed by fresh bodies of mihtia, to
whom succeeded three or four General Officers,
presenting a magnificent appearance with their
ghttering uniforms, their plumes bristling up on
the top of their cocked hats, and the trappings
that adorned their fiery and curvetting steeds.
A momentary pause occurring in the march of
the procession, I was able to contemplate these
heroes more at my leisure, and to conjure up the
ideas which seemed most fitting to the time, place,
and occasion. I was just picturing them to my
self in those situations, which are most congenial
to our notions of mihtary Hfe — ^leading to the
charge — animating the troops — ^waving telescopes
amidst showers of bullets — when my reverie was
interrupted by an event, which may seem at first
sight to be unimposing and deficient in grandeur ;
for the great chieftains took advantage of the halt
to ride up to the opposite house, and caU for
brandy and water. Tumblers of this potation hav
ing been drained by themselves and their aide-de
camps, the march was resumed, and fresh regiments
of mihtia defiled, in good order, down the crowded
streets. There was now, however, a pause of about half

PHILADELPHIA. 57
an hour in the procession, which, though it sadly
marred its effect,' was much to be rejoiced at, as
it gave the weary, thirsty, fainting vyretches an
opportunity of resting their limbs, and cooHng
their parched throats. The General in command
had indeed found it necessary to break up the
ranks for so long ; and, even as it was, it was
calculated, that of those who came out intending
to join in the ceremonies, nearly one half went
away again. At the close of the half hour, there
appeared, besides other mihtary companies, a large
boat, placed in a waggon drawn by horses. In
this boat was a party of elderly men, one of whom
carried a flag, bearing the inscription " The sur-
rivors ofthe Dartmoor prisoners." The Dartmoor
prisoners are American seamen, who, haring been
captured during the war of 1812, were confined, as
prisoners of war, at Dartmoor. It is aUeged — I
know not how truly — that they were there treated
with the most horrible cruelty. They have con
sequently, ever since that time, continued to be
great Hons in their native country, safe cards for a
demonstration and procession, and standing monu
ments of British tyranny. Afterwards came the
funeral car of General Taylor, a tasteful con
struction, draped with black velvet, surmounted
by an eagle, and drawn by eight white horses. A
caparisoned charger, which foUowed the car, led
by a groom, was supposed to represent " Old

58 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Whitey," the favorite steed of the deceased war
rior. Then came the pall-bearers, in carriages;
and afterwards, in succession, the great dignitaries
of the place, such as the Governor of the State,
the CoUector, and so on. Then bodies of free
masons, odd fellows, temperance men, teetotalers,
members of the different fire and hose companies,
all with the insignia and banners of their res
pective orders, and after many other orders,
bodies, troops, companies, regiments and asso
ciations, of whom the time would £ail me to teU,
but who took up two hours in defihng before
us — last, not least, the butchers of the city, a
body of two or three hundred really fine-looking
men, all mounted on strong well-bred horses, and
resembling, in their appearance, substantial Brit
ish yeomen more than anything else.
These processions are organized in aU the
principal towns of the United States, and, though
deficient as spectacles, may be calculated to pro
duce a good effect upon the masses.

A MAN OF LETTERS. 59

A MAN OF LETTERS.

Happening, at Philadelphia, one particularly
sultry day, to pass the house of my friend.
General  , I hesitated whether I would not
go in. As I Hngered at the door, and smelt the
odoriferous compounds being concocted within,
I was on the point of yielding to this idea ; but
plucking up my courage, and my legs at the same
moment, I succeeded in bolting away from temp
tation over to the other side of the street.
I had scarcely reached the opposite pavement,
in a breathless state, (for the sight of a railway
train coming down the street had made me run)
when I felt a tap on the shoulder. Turning
round, I perceived my friend, the General, who
had come after me in his shirt-sleeves, and whose
steaming red face was more eloquent on the state
of the atmosphere than many thermometers.
"Why, what made you file off in that air way ?"
he enquired. From his interlarding his conver
sation with mihtary expressions, I used to imagine
that the General had, at one time or other, served
in some corps. I beheve there is^ no foundation

60 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
for this idea. " Come ! face about t" he continued,
"we'll go and bivouac in my house there, for
ten minutes. There's an old feller there I want
you to see. Comes from the old country. Lots
of money. A reg'lar tickler and no mistake."
" Why, the fact is," I repHed, gently disengaging
myself, " that it's rather too early to take anything
to drink. Although, indeed, I think, this hot
weather, a sherry cobbler — "
" Turn about face ! Turn about face !" cried
the General, " I'U set you down at a table next
to the old feUer I'm talking of. He comes to the
house once a week, and orders a pipe and a quart
of ale, to remind him of the old country. He'll
be telhng you his story, the moment he knows
you're from England — but you must not mind
interrupting him, for he's a terribly long-winded
chap. That's sartain."
The indiridual to whom I was introduced, and
whom I found sitting at one of the smaU tables
in the General's bar-room, was unmistakeably a
Briton ; one of those whom we are ready to faU
upon, and hug to our bosoms as countrymen,
when we light upon them in a foreign land.
We know them by the trousers, fitting tightly
round the protruding calf as they walk before us,
and shooting up to the top of the black WeUing
ton boot when they sit down ; by the uncomfort
able tightness and towering shirt-coUars which

A MAN OF LETTERS. 61
they contrive to maintain in the regions of the
throat ; by the whiskers curling up into the cor
ners of their mouths ; by many other signs. He
had a merry twinkling eye, and a good-humoured
countenance, and we were on good terms almost
immediately. "You are from England, sir," said he, when
he had glanced at me for a moment, having, I
have no doubt, perceived in me — as I had per
ceived in him — those Httle indications of nation
ality to which I have just alluded.
"I am, sir. So are you, I think?"
" I am."
After remarking to each other that it was a
very fine day, and answering each other that it
was indeed, I took the Hberty of asking the old
gentleman whether it was long since he had come
to settle in America.
" Many years, sir. Let me see, when was it
that I committed that murder?"
" I beg your pardon, sir."
" Murder ! I left England because the place
was too hot to hold me, sir. I had committed a
murder ! "
" God bless my soul, I hope not ! You mean
that you had kiUed some one accidentaUy."
" No, not a bit of it. It was malice prepense.
I killed him by an article in the Morning Herald!"
" Ah ! now 1 understand you. You mean that

62 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
you imprudently read a leading article to him out
of that journal, when he was in a weak state of
health. Ah ! poor fellow" —
" No, sir, that's not what I mean, either. I
murdered him in cold blood — positively in cold
blood, I assure you. Why, Lord bless you ! I've
murdered more men, seduced more pretty women,
ruined more young rakes upon town, broken into
more houses, sent a greater number of poor derils
into exile, and produced more changes in the
administration, than the original of any wax figure
at Madame Tussaud's. I look forward with proud
anticipation, sir, to the time when my country
vrill see the necessity of erecting a statue in honor
of me. Canning has one in Parliament-square.
Why should not I have one in Printing-house-
square ? Ha ! ha ! "
" I see how it is," thought I to myself. " Bottled
porter has left its traces in the poor fellow's in
tellect. It is always best to humour these harm
less lunatics. Dear me," said I, addressing him,
" your adventures must prove very interesting.
How I should like to hear them. Would you
have any objection to oblige me ?"
The old fellow glanced around. " Come up
here into the corner by the window," said he, "we
shaU be out of theway — Virgil, my boy, another
bottle of ale ! Now then, sir, I'U teU you aU
about it, beginning with my bhth, and leaving

A MAN OF LETTERS. 63
my death and posthumous honours to be dealt
with by the biographer.
" I was born then — ^no matter how many years
ago — in a highly respectable and duU town of the
county of Yorkshire. My father was in the sta
tionary and newspaper Hne, but, dying when I
was yet of tender years, left his lovely babe to
the care of the disconsolate widow, who wept
scalding tears over his grave, and carried on the
business. " From an early period of my Hfe, I was in the
habit of reading the county papers before they
were sent out to our customers, and I was par
ticularly struck with the extraordinary things
that were always happening in my native place.
Being an out-of-the-way town, through which no
one ever passed, it furnished an admirable field in
which to rear enormous vegetables, or celebrate
clandestine marriages. Scarcely a week elapsed
but the inhabitants were thrown into consterna
tion by a giant of a cucumber, or nearly washed
away by a shower of frogs. I read of these mar
vels till, at last, my genius was fired. I made
my first essay upon a monster cherry, which was
supposed to grow in our back garden, and of which
I drew up an imaginative account. To my joy,
it was inserted. A day or two afterwards, an
elderly gentleman in a snuff-coloured coat, rode
up to our door, in my mother's absence, and, dis-

64 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
mounting, asked for leave to inspect the cherry.
'I am a collector of curiosities,' said he; 'and
here,' — taking Carefully from his pocket a box,
which, when opened, disclosed to view an enor
mous bigaroon cherry, which he set upon the
table — ' here, I believe, is the largest specimen of
this fruit that has ever been produced. If yours
is any thing like as large as this, I will give you
a guinea for it. I feel certain, however, that
nothing can ever equal this one, which I reared
myself.' I was casting about in my mind for some
lie, when my little dog Toby, whom I had accus
tomed to fetch and carry all sorts of eirticles, with
out hurting them, jumpe'd upon the table, seized
the cherry in his mouth, and darted out of the
room with it. I ran after him into the passage,
where, obedient to my signal, he deposited it
uninjured at my feet. Buttoning it up hastily
in my pocket, and giving Toby a tremendous
kick to make him howl, ' Take that,' said I, ' you
accursed vrhelp, for destroying such an unpa
ralleled curiosity.' ' What ! has he swallowed it,
the monster ?' cried the old gentleman, who had
followed me, pale as death, into the passage. ' I
am afraid he has, sir,' I replied ; ' but, as some
slight compensation, suffer me to present you with
my cherry, which, I think, you will find to the
full as wonderful as yours. ' That ! that .'' cried
out the old gentleman, taking in his hand the

A MAN OF LETTERS. 65
identical fruit that he had brought, ' that thing as
large as mine ! Great God, sir ! you must be
mad ! Oh, heavens, what shaU I do '.' And the
old feUow so far lost aU command of himself, that
he threw his own cherry into the fire, gave me a
tremendous slap on the face, (which I did not ven
ture to retum), and, remounting his horse, rode
away, groaning and almost beside himself with
vexation. " This adventure made me a Httle cautious, for
the future, in assigning any distinct locahty for
the marvels which I wrought. I took care to
leave no' clue to the whereabouts of my goose
berries and my toads, beyond saying, that such and
such things had happened in the eastern or westem
part of the county, as the case might be. In
this way, I did nearly all the lying — except the
political lying — for some of our county papers,
gratuitously, untU, just as I had completed my
twenty-first year, my poor mother died, learing
me to administer (after all the debts were paid) to
a volume of manuscript sermons, a tortoise-shell
cat, and ten pounds in gold. The sermons I
presented to our Rector, and the tortoise-sheU
cat to the Rector's middle-aged daughter, who
was one of those Vestals that would never have
run the risk of being buried ahve. The ten
pounds I put in my pocket, and, disposing of the
lease to advantage, set off to London, where 1

66 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
felt that the greatness of my destiny was calling
me. " It was a long time, however, before the great
ness of my destiny did any thing for me, and I began
to feel that the holes in my pockets would very
soon be of no consequence. In this state of things,
I one day chanced to meet a friend, whom I had
known in our town when he was only a linendraper's
apprentice, but who was now transformed into a
fine gentleman, with an eye-glass and moustache.
He was not, however, ashamed to be seen talking
with me, but, having Hstened to my story, invited
me to accompany him to the office of the Weekly
Scum, ' a newspaper with which,' said he, ' I
am connected, and which will probably do some
thing for you.' I foUowed him, accordingly, to
the office, which was a dingy place, situated some
where in the neighbourhood of the Strand. The
Editor was sitting in a back room, drinking brandy
— and, perhaps, water with it — in his dressing-
gown and slippers. After a Httle preHminary
conversation, he turned to my friend, saying, 'Are
you sure he is trustworthy, Fitz-Eustace ?' Fitz-
Eustace, whom I had always known as Brown,
repHed that he could answer for me. The Editor
then told me that he should be able to find me
some employment, but that it would not be, at
first, of a literary kind. It was essential, however,
he said, that I should understand the principles

A MAN OF LETTERS. 67
on which his journal was conducted. The object
of that journal was to eradicate vice from the
metropolis, by exhibiting it in all its hideous
deformity. It accordingly directed its shafts
against the base and the profiigate, who, in a
Christian country, should be held up as beacons
to the others. And yet, mingled with this bitter
abhorrence of vice, there was a desire to reform
the offender, which was done by showing him
that a rigilant, though affectionate, eye was fixed
upon all his movements. Thus, if my Lord A.
or my Lord B. were to be seen drunk in Picca
dilly one night, the next week's impression would
gently admonish them that the facts were knovm.
Or, if my Lady C. were guilty of an indiscretion
with her footman, the Journal would rindicate
pubhc morality, by not suffering any particulars
of the crime to remain a secret. There was a
. case, at this moment, which demanded its interpo
sition. The benevolent object proposed, was to
reclaim from the error of his ways an. aged Bishop,
who was known to leave his house mysteriously,
without his usual costume, and on foot, every
evening. It was desirable to know where that
Bishop went. This could only be done by loiter
ing near his door, to watch him coine out, and then
following him cautiously to his destination. It
was in this way that I might commence, if I chose,
my philanthropic career.
f2'

68 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
" I consented, for starving people are not often
very particular. Certain signs were given me
whereby I should know the prelate, together with
aU needful information. As I passed through the
outer office, I overheard the Editor say to another
dirty man, who was employed in folding up the
wet sheets, ' Mr. Pumper, you took the Countess's
under butler to the play last night, did you ?'
" ' Yes, sir.'
" ' And treated him to supper afterwards ?'
" ' Yes, sir.'
" ' And — ahem, he — he was in a happy state
afterwards, Mr. Pumper ?'
" ' In a glorious state, sir.'
" ' And didn't let out any thing more about his
mistress, ey, Mr. Pumper ?'
" ' Not a word, sir. He's told us aU he knows.'
" ' All right, Mr. Pumper. Then we must see
what can be done on what we know, that's aU.' By
this time I was in the street, and so heard no more.
" I kept watch attentively, and soon found out
that the mysterious place whither the Bishop
directed his steps of an evening, was no other than
some second-hand book-stall, where he would stay
and rummage for hours. In this way, he visited
some of the lowest alleys and lanes in London. On
one occasion, I contrived to fall into conversation
with him, and extracted from him in a moment
what was the object of his search. Poor man ! he

A MAN OF LETTERS. 69
was almost in his dotage, and had firmly persuaded
himself that there was an English printed book, of
much earHer date than Caxton's Histories of Troy e.
In almost every bid book-shop in the metropolis,
he had become known as the unwearied searcher
after this fabulous volume ; but, as he paid liberally
for the permission, he was aUowed to browse un
interruptedly for hours, on the musty leaves. I
communicated the discovery to my employer, who
•rewarded me with ten shillings for my trouble,
and, exacting a promise of strict secrecy on all
matters of business, agreed to find me occupation,
at a fixed salary, in the office. A day or two
afterwards, I took to the post a letter, addressed
" The Lord Bishop of  ;" and the next even
ing, the Editor and Mr. Pumper went out toge
ther, leaving me in charge of every thing till their
retum, which was not till late. The next day
happened to be our pubhshing day, and in the
afternoon, as I cast my eye over the paper, the
foUowing, in " Notices to Correspondents," at
once fixed my attention : —
" ' To A. B. ; x. Y. z. ; anti-humbug ; a dis
senter ; AND A THOUSAND OTHERS. In reply to
the numerous communications which we are daily
receiring on the subject of a certain hoary-headed
prelate, who does not reside a hundred miles from
 Street, we beg leave to state positively that
we require no further information. Wehave

70 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
long been aware of the real, as well as the pre
tended, object of his nightly excursions, when,
ALONE and in disguise, he steals out of the Epis
copal residence. The series to which the public
have been so long looking forward, will commence
next week, without fail, and will give a true and
faithful account of the intrigues and private
HISTORY, &C. &C., of this DESCENDANT OF THE
apostles ! ! It will probably be comprised in
twenty numbers. Especially, will be contained
an account of the disgraceful scene which was
enacted only last night, when, had it not been
for two gentlemen who were accidentally passing,
and were attracted by her cries, the young and
innocent daughter of a highly respectable book
seller, would have fallen the rictim to this old
monster of iniquity, let him beware ! ! we
have our eye upon him ! ! !'
" You may think that I ought by this time, sir,
to have had a pretty clear idea of what was going
on ; and so I had, but, you see, I had sworn to
secrecy, and it was no part of my engagement to
violate my promise. Well, a few days after this,
the old Bishop descended from a hackney-coach
at our door in his old book-hunting costume, and
was shown, pale and trembling, into the back
office. I tried to Hsten to what was going on, but
could only now and then catch a few sentences,
such as, ' I declare I knew nothing of its cha-

A MAN OF LETTERS. 71
racter.' ' But, my lord, you were seen. — ' ' I re
ceived a letter, telling me that what I was searching
for could be found in  ' ' But, my lord, —
the shrieks — you must — ' ' On my honour, sir,
she first addressed' — and so on. At the end
of half an hour, I was sent for into the
office, where I found the Editor, Mr. Pumper,
and the Bishop, sitting together. ' I have sent for
you, Mr. Wiggins,' said the Editor, ' as an addi
tional witness, that we are entirely satisfied with
the explanation of his lordship. We regret to
have faUen into a mistake with regard to his lord
ship, for which there were certainly some grounds.
We now perceive that his lordship has been made
the rictim of a horrible snare. I need hardly say
that the articles which we had intended to pub-
Hsh, on the false information which we received,
will now be entirely suppressed. That is all,
Mr. Wiggins. You may retire.'
" I was preparing to go, when the Editor stop
ped me. ' There is one triffing matter, by the
way, which, as an affair of business, you may,
perhaps, testify to,' said he ; ' this fifty-pound
note, which I hold in my hand, has been gene
rously pressed upon us by his lordship, to apply
to the use of the unfortunate woman who, there
is reason to fear, sought to inveigle him. She has
consented, for that sum, to emigrate to the United
States, where, let us trust, she will lead a

72 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
renewed Hfe. This sum we consent to accept,/oy
the use of the woman. At the same time, as a com
pensation for the trouble which we may take in
superintending her departure, his lordship has
kindly pressed upon us the further sum of twenty
pounds, which we absolutely refuse. We take
you to witness, Mr. Wiggins, that we refuse any
money on our own account.' And, so saying, he
handed back to the Bishop, in my presence, bank
notes to the amount of twenty pounds.
" I left the place soon after this. Indeed, the
establishment was, ere long, broken up, and the
Editor went on, I believe, to one of the Mis
sionary Magazines.
" The next publication that I became attached
to, resembled, in some degree, the Scum, only that
it was amongst the clergy we sought out our
victims, and that we did not slander them with a
riew to extort money. The Clerical BombsheU
was a paper attached to a particular party, both in
politics and church matters ; and every one that
differed from us, in one thing or the other, was a
monster, an atheist, or a Robespierre. I was soon
admitted to write short leading articles, in which
the object was to condense as much Scripture and
as much venom, as could be brought into a single
column. If the paper were still pubhshed at the
present day, for instance, it would draw a paralM
between the progress of the cholera last year, and

A MAN OF LETTERS. 73
the successive acts of Lord John Russell's admi
nistration. ' Lord John, (that contemptible writer
^'f fifth-rate plays,) proposed an extension of the
suffrage. Need any one be told the result of
this iniquitous measure ? In London alone, fif
teen hundred persons died of the cholera the
very next day.' That, sir, was our style of
doing business. Sometimes — in accordance with
our name — ^we exploded in the midst of a se
cluded valley, scattering death and destruction
at the heads of two or three benevolent cler
gymen, who might have been in the habit of
shooting or hunting occasionally ; ' Where is the
Bishop ?' we cried. At other times, we fell foul
of ancient works of art. ' Any thing that exhi
bits more than the naked face and hands is inde
cent!' we exclaimed, and we called upon the
Ministry to have all the Rubens' and Raffaelle's,
in the pubhc exhibitions, smudged over, if they
expected to get through the next year without a
risitation of Cossacks, or measles, or some other
dreadful calamity. It is twenty years since I left
England. Are there any of those kind of papers
there now, sir ? "
" WeU, I think I could name one or two," I
replied. " Indeed, sir ! Well, the time would fail me
to tell of the numerous situations through which
I passed, in how many and what different capa-

74 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
cities I became connected with Clerical, Agricul
tural, Radical, Liberal, High-Tory, Musical, and
Theatrical Journals. At one time, I rose so high
as to be a writer of small farces, and the dramatic
critic to a daily newspaper. The farce which we
critics kept up together behind the scenes, was,
however, better than any of those that we were
compelled to witness on the stage. We were
nearly all, I must tell you, dramatic authors
by profession, all intimately acquainted with
each other, and forming together a sort of
clique, or club, on terms of mutual accom
modation. For instance, Popkins, of the Hubbub,
would have to review to-day a comedy brought
out at the Haymarket by his friend Hopkins,
well knowing that Hopkins would reriew, next
week, in the Clarion, a drama which he. Pop-
kins, was about to produce at the Coburg.
The consequence was, that Popkins wrote, ' Ano
ther inimitable adaptation from the French, by that
most humourous of authors, Mr. Hopkins,' etc. ;
and next week,Hopkins returned the compliment,
by commencing with ' The deservedly popular
Popkins has again,' and so on. We all used to
interchange these little acts of kindness. Our
friends, the managers, too, who paid us for our
pieces, and promoted our comfort in a thousand
Httle ways — of course, we had not the heart to
find fault with any thing that they did. Only

A MAN OF LETTERS. 75
that, sometimes, when the public rose, as one man,
to hoot a mass of vapid rubbish from the stage, we
would remark that ' a little judicious curtailment
would, probably, ensure a run to this really witty
production ;' or, ' the curtain fell amidst much ap
plause, which was not, however, unmingled with
signs of disapprobation.' We never said any
thing stronger than this. But I am speaking of
bygone days. Of course, theatrical critics in Eng
land are very different now.
"Well, sir, I wiU not detain you any longer
with what I had to go through in the old country,
which I have long since abandoned and forgotten,
as you may gather from my manners, and appear
ance altogether, which would never lead any one
to suppose, for a moment, that I am an Enghsh
man. I must teU you, however, how I came to
be married, for even that great leap in life was
taken l^ me, quite in the way of business."
" In the way of business ! " I exclaimed.
"Yes, sir. In quite a professional way. I
closed my eyes to a single Hfe, and entered into
another, and not a better existence, in a manner
becoming a Hterary man. I died, sir, with my
harness on my back, or, if you prefer it, with my
pen behind my ear.
" You must know, then, that after some time, I
sunk from my high estate of newspaper critic, to
the humble condition of an ordinary penny-a-liner.

76 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
How often have I prowled about the streets of
London, scenting a fire in the distance, or snatch
ing at the first tidings of a horrible accident,
which seemed almost too good news to be true.
What would I not sometimes have given if, on my
return home, sore of foot and penniless, I could
have learnt that my landlord had beaten his wife
to death, and cut the throats of his six smaU
children ! I thought, with a sigh, that I should
be able to dine comfortably off the inquest, that
the trial would be a new pair of Wellingtons to
me, and that I might ask a few friends to supper,
in virtue of the execution. But, alas ! we cannot
all have what we wish for. It was in one of those
most unfortunate intervals, when there is a total
dearth of horrors, that I came to the resolution of
turning my knowledge of London to some ac
count; and, accordingly, transmitted to a book
seller of my acquaintance, the first number of an
intended serial, to be inserted in his 'People's
Revolutionary Magazine.' I called my work
' Ferdinand, the Destroyer. A Romance of Hor
ror :' but the publisher (who accepted it) changed
' Horror ' into ' Marylebone,' which he declared
would be more taking, so that, it was now an
nounced as ' Ferdinand, the Destroyer. A Romance
of Marylebone.' I had just brought my second
chapter to a triumphant conclusion, and had got
the hero to the point of falling in love, when it

A MAN OF LETTERS. 77
struck me that in this, the most important element
of my tale, I should be sadly at fault.
" An Author, to describe such a familiar sensa
tion, ought, himself, to have experienced it. Now,
I had been in love all my life, and yet, I had
never been in love, if you can understand me. I
had always cherished an ideal being, or image, as
my companion, and the partner of my toils, which
had this advantage over a reality, that it cost
nothing to feed or to dress. A succession of these
images I had been in the habit of fostering, from
the age of ten years, to the time of which I now
speak. The series had included, amongst others,
two paintings, a statue, and an imaginary beauty,
half made up of a copper-plate engraving, and the
rest supphed by my own poetical fancy. It was,
at the shrine of this last-named Goddess, that I
had been for some weeks a votary, but I felt that
the loves of Ferdinand required a more direct
inspiration. I must practise upon some one. In
this state of circumstances, I cast my eye upon
my landlady's daughter, Jane.
" Jane was not an ill-looking wench, but I should
never have dreamed, for an instant, of marrying
her ; and, as for cherishing any improper thoughts
against the poor girl, that, I solemnly assure you,
sir, was not the case. I only asked her to sit
down on the sofa, whenever she came to clear
away the things, and ogled her, and talked non-

78 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
sense to her, in the way that I understand real
lovers carry on the business. I tried to persuade
myself that her arms were white as the Hly, and
that she never smelt of gin ; and, by this means,
and by drinking brandy and water furiously, while
looking at her, I came to have an idea of what
my Ferdinand's sensations ought to be. I brought
my Romance to a conclusion, amidst general satis
faction ; and my love passages were declared to be
the best in the whole book. I accordingly dis
continued my innocent attentions to Jane, when
they were no longer necessary, thinking, of course,
that she would appreciate them at their real
worth, as the outpourings of an eccentric genius.
But, to my surprise, my landlady rushed up, and
insisted upon my marrying her daughter. ' You
have promised it to her a thousand times' said
she. It was in vain to talk of allegory. ' It is a
case of action for breach' cried out the landlady —
' Yes, of an action upon.his breech that he won't
much like either,' put in the lubberly landlord,
and, I confess, I scarcely knew which would be
the worse of the two. In short, sir, I had not a-
penny, and am not, as you see, a strong man. I
married Jane, and three weeks' afterwards had
the satisfaction of seeing her run away with one
of ' the gTeatest of bring tragedians' who resided
up in the garret."
Here there was a momentary pause, during

A MAN OF LETTERS. 79
which, I took occasion to remark, " The world
must have at length, however, appreciated your
abihties, Mr. Wiggins, since I am informed that
you are now, as you deserve to be, a man of
wealth ! "
" Ay, ay, sir," he replied, "that was after I had
crossed the water ; I am coming to that part of
my life immediately. I had been earning, for
some time, a precarious subsistence by killing, or
marrying, persons of some note ; when my evil
genius (as I then thought) tempted me to attack
the hfe and the reputation of one of the most
eminent men in the kingdom. There were cer
tain circumstances connected with the affair,
which I need not enter upon — suffice it to say, the
paper was compelled to give up its authority —
I apprehended some trouble — and, in order to
escape it, placed the broad Atlantic between my
self and my wicked persecutors.
" With this event, commenced a new epoch in
my history. I had got past the debtor, and was
arrived at the creditor sheet of Hfe's volume. I
am not an astronomer, but it may be that my
lucky star shines only in this part of the heavens,
so that I had now, for the first time, placed my
self under its infiuence. However that may be,
no sooner did it become known that I was a
literary man, newly arrived from England, and
seeking employment, than an offer was made me

80 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
to contribute to one of the journals, a series of
sketches of English life and manners. This, I was,
of course, competent to do, and my papers on the
ballet girls, medical students, and low singing-
houses of that period, were not only received with
great applause in America, but, ultimately, I have
reason to believe, revolutionized the literature of
England herself."
" What ! " I exclaimed, with some emotion,
" can it be that you are really the founder of that
great school of literature, which now rules our
happy and tasteful land ? "
" I have reason to believe so," replied Mr. Wig
gins, with excusable pride.
" These sketches," he continued, " I may affirm,
without presumption, were founded on observation
and experience. I cannot say as much for my
chapters on fashionable life, (which were as two to
one of the others), but these, if not exactly true,
were something much better — they were pre
eminently successful. There is, you must know, a
craving appetite here for the minutest particulars
of high-life in Europe ; to satisfy this appetite, I
took care to prepare the choicest materials. I be
trayed an amazing knowledge of fashion. I had
known so many dukes and marquises, that my exile
must, indeed, have been a bitter one, when passed
far away from those dear companions of my youth.
I treated the public to an authentic description of

A MAN OF LETTERS. SI
a ball in Grosvenor-square, beginning with the
loud rat-tat-tap at the door, and ending with the
departure of the carriages, (both which parts of
the entertainment I had often graced with my
presence), and filled up the intervening blank
from imagination. My papers were received with
rapture. As I did not abuse England very much,
nobody took me for an emigrant Englishman. I
was considered to be a native American, publish
ing the result of his travels, and the reriews and
journals extolled me to the skies. ' The names
of Scott and Byron pale before that of Wiggins,'
they exclaimed. 'Show us another Wiggins
throughout the whole of Great Britain, a Wig
gins amongst your poet-laureates, or even a
suckling Wiggins in the cradle ! ' Alas, Great
Britain niight have taken them at their word in
the latter particular, perhaps — but that is neither
here nor there.
" My next engagement, which I found no diffi
culty in procuring, was as sub-editor of the
Northern Bouncer, which was looked upon as
the most ably con<lucted paper in the United
States. Its columrs were devoted to politics,
the belles-lettres, slander, science, and abuse of
England. The proprietor and editor was a Scotch
man, who had aheady realized an immense for
tune by the sale of his journal, which he had
raised from insignificance to its present proud
G

82 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
position. I was employed to write on miscel
laneous subjects, but more especially to ' do ' the
English articles, as the pubhc were beginning to
weary of the editor's style of abuse, and wanted
something new and more racy.
" It was now, that my former connection with a
religious journal was of real service to me, as it
fumished me with a fund of vituperative epithets,
which I might not otherwise have acquired. The
same expressions which I had formerly apphed to
the Roman Catholic Church, I could now employ,
with a little modification, against England. 'The
toothless old hag,' I wrote ' is now sinking to
ruin, in the midst of her own helpless imbecility.
Imbecility, do I say! No! though decrepit, she is
still venomous ; though bound hand and foot, she
yet seeks to bite ; she withers by her malignant
witchcraft, if she can no longer strike vrith her
enfeebled arm, etc' When dished up with a little
of the star-spangled banner, it was astonishing
how useful these old 'leaders' became to me.
" Not only was my connection with the Bomb-
Shell of serrice, but my brief novitiate at the
office of the Scum aided me in no smaU degree.
We did, to a great extent, the same kind of busi
ness as the Scum. We instituted the strictest
scrutiny into the private lives of pubhc men, and
levelled the most horrible, and, in some cases, the
foulest accusations against all opposition candi-

A MAN OF LETTERS. 83
dates and poHticians. We indeed confined our
attacks to the higher sorts of game, but every
office in our city being elective, there were other
journals of less note, which pryed into the cha
racter of the obscure officials, in the same way
that we did into those of the members of Con
gress, or the Mayor. It may seem strange to
you, sir, that I should consent to the performance
of such duties as these, but I must tell you that I
had by this time thrown off most of my Britannic
prejudices. Besides, we occupied a very different
position here, from what, under similar circum
stances, we should have occupied in England.
We were feted and caressed by every one ; we
were admitted into the very first society. Even
our rictims were, in most cases, compelled to treat
us with ciriHty, well knowing that om: pen could
be made as effectual as a congreve match, for the
purpose of burning their houses over their heads.
Sometimes, an infuriated Southerner would horse
whip one or other of us sub-editors, but this in
no way displeased old Mac Verjuice the proprietor,
who sold twice as many copies of his paper next
day. After I had been in the office about five
years, Mac Verj nice, who, as I said before, was
both proprietor and editor, sold his paper for a
large sum to a Loco-foco, and returned to spend
the residue of his days in his own country, where
he had purchased a magnificent seat, and where
G 2

84 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
his time has been principally employed, as I am
informed, in drinking whiskey and water, and
sneering at the United States. After his depar
ture, the new proprietor offered me the situation
of head editor, with an increase of salary and a
change of principles. I was now in a condition
to marry, which I accordingly did — "
" Excuse me," said I " for interrupting you,
but you had not mentioned that your former wife
was dead."
" What, Jane dead ! Lord, I hope not — God
bless my soul, what should make me wish Jane
dead ? she never did me any harm, poor thing.'
" Only, that if she were still hving, an absurd
law — I may ahnost say legal technicahty — would
interpose to prevent your natural wishes on such
a subject." " Ah, I see what you mean," continued he,
" Why, the fact is, we emigrants from Europe,
consider the Atlantic as effectual a divorcing
power as the House of Lords. A scolding voice
cannot be heard across the ocean, nor can a dish-
cover strike us on the head, if aimed at the distance
of London to New York ; so that, missing the cus
tomary Httle tokens of our charmer's presence, we
soon become obhvious of her very existence as weU.
" However, you will hear something more of
Jane, anon. We were married (my AmaryUis
and I), and went to spend the honeymoon at
Saratoga, which, you have may-be heard, is the

A MAN OF LETTERS. 85
great watering-place in the State of New York.
I continued to render myself serriceable to the
journal, by vsrriting for it, every day, a letter full
of chit-chat, slander, and fashionable intelhgence.
You people of England, with your antiquated
notions, would be surprised at the liberty and
freedom which were permitted in these commu
nications ; there was scarcely a lady in the place,
concerning whom we had not heard or invented a
story. We mentioned them, too, by their names,
without disguise, or aUuded to them in such a
plain manner as prevented the possibihty of a
mistake. And, by extolHng to the skies, in each
number, the accommodations of the hotel where
we resided, I had the advantage of being boarded
and lodged gratuitously.
" After a further lapse of time, I quitted the
Bouncer, and purchasing a well-estabHshed paper
in one of the Westem States, determined to re
move there, and set up business for myself. My
predecessor had not been what is usuaUy called a
Hteiary man. His qualifications, besides, writing
coarse and turgid articles — "
"Excuse me for again interrupting you, Mr.
Wiggins," said I, " but are not nearly oM American
newspaper articles written in a turgid style ? "
" Yes, sir. And not only newspaper articles,
but sermons, speeches at pubhc meetings, even
familiar letters interchanged between friends of
long-standing. It is the popular taste, and he

86 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
who wishes to succeed, must faU in with it. For
instance, if I were writing, in England, on the
Great Exhibition of 1851, I should say—
" ' The pubhc 'wiU be dehghted to leam that
the bmldhigs for this monster fair are progressing
rapidly. There was a talk, some Httle. time ago,
of extending the original design, and erecting, on
the opposite side of the park, another and a larger
edifice, devoted exclusively to Agricultural pro
ducts. Why has this not been done ? But the
wealthy have only themselves to blame, for had
they been ready with the necessary amount, there
can be no doubt that the whole of Hyde Park
would have been enclosed. We trust, that the
Prince Consort will graciously excuse their ig
norance.' " Now, this translated into American, would
run thus : —
" ' Our feUow-citizens wUl learn with rapture,
that the constructions necessary for the reahzing
of the greatest and most truly original conception
of modem times — a design calculated to implant
some faint glimmering of American grandeur and
magnificence in the breasts of decaying Europe —
are on the eve of happy completion. A rumour
was wafted to our editorial ear, to the effect that
the sons of Columbia had matured the plan for a
yet more magnificent and enduring monument to
our industrial genius — an agricultural wonder, to
gladden our eyes from the opposite side of the

A MAN OF LETTERS. 87
park. Whence the failure of its reahzation ? Our
Croesuses and Plutuses are at fault.' And so on.
" WeU, as I was saying, besides the common
gift of writing turgid nonsense, my predecessor
had but two qualifications. He was a good shot
and a great cheat. The first made him gene
rally feared, the second universaUy beloved. But
neither was calculated to contribute much to the
sale of 'his paper. In a short time, I had raised
its sale fourfold. I wrote the prose and my wife
the poetry. It was she who composed that cele
brated Ode to the Winds, which, you may recol
lect, begins vrith the stanza : —
" ' I gaze at the blusterer Boreas,
As onward he doth go —
Not with a glance censorious,
But with pleasure, I watch him blow
Across our plains, the fighter I
To some terra incognita.'' "*
* Mrs. Wiggins will excuse me if I venture to entertain
a suspicion that she has plagiarized the above stanza from
the works of one of the most celebrated of American
poetesses. Miss Whipple, now Mrs. Grreen. Mrs. Green's
song to the East Wind begins in much the same manner : —
" From the border of the Ganges,
Where the gentle Hindoo laves ;
And the sacred cow is grazing
By the holy Indian waves.
We have hastened to enrol us
In thy royal train (Eolus !"
See Grisvjold's Female Poets of America, p. 128.

88 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
"Whenever any traveller risited the United
States, and on his return pubhshed a work disap
proving of their institutions, I favoured the pubhc
with a tme account of his Hfe, generaUy beginmng
by stating that his father was hung for forgery.
In this way, I grew in the esteem of my fellow-
citizens, as well as in wealth, and was soon in a
position to despise the calumnies and Hes of Leri,
the rival Editor. He said what he pleased of me,
but I took no notice of his impotent mahce. At
length, one moming, my eyes fell upon a passage
in his paper, which banished the colour from my
cheeks. It was as foUows : —
" ' EXTRAORDINARY DISCLOSURE ! By a mOSt
singular coincidence, we have been put in posses
sion of a fact in the early Hfe of the caitiff Editor
W — ^g — s. It appears that the miscreant is a
BIGAMIST ! ! The whole particulars connected with
himself and his first wife are known to us alone,
but 'will appear in our next. When the circum
stances become noised abroad, the rillain may ex
pect a visit from the officers of justice. Raro Ante-
cedentium Sceletos dessiruit poenopoede Claudia !!'
" The rascal had, by some means or other, got
possession of the fact of my prerious marriage !
Jane was, perhaps, at that moment, in America.
The thought was distraction. The laws of the
country are severe against bigamy ; I should be
condemned to a lengthened term of imprisonment,

A MAN OF LETTERS. 89
or Spend half my fortune in bribing the Governor
and Judge to let me out again. There was
but one course to pursue, and one or other of us
must faU. Wrath and despair nerved me to the
task. I ran down the street as hard as I could,
and pulled the other Editor's nose. He kicked
me. The affair was arranged to take place that
same afternoon, in a wood near the town.
" After partaking of an early dinner (though, it
must be confessed, that I did not eat much), I
StroUed down the street, vrith my rifle over my
shoulder, and my second. Colonel Tickler, beside
me. We met several people by the way, and,
amongst others, the Mayor, aU of whom stopped
poHtely, and asked us where we were about to
' settle our difficulty' — for the news of the ap
proaching fight was, by this time, known to every
man, woman, and child, in the town. The Colonel
rephed, that he had selected the Bowie Wood, at
a distance of half a mile. ' That's right, Judge !'
said they to me. (I must tell you that I had been
elected a Judge, only a short time before, by an
overwhelming majority over Leri.) ' That's right.
Judge, shoot him down, shoot him down 1' Alas !
I thought that he might have had advice of the
same kind given to him, and would be equally
ready to foUow it.
" Our seconds selected two trees, which faced
each other, at a distance of about forty paces, with-

90 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
out any intervening obstacle. Behind one, they
placed Levi, and behind the other, they placed
me, such being the mode of duelling prevalent in
that part of the country. They then left us to
ourselves in the middle of the wood, there being
no particular law of honour in this kind of single
combat, which, from its very constitution, requires
nothing more than that you should shoot one ano
ther as you can. This is not so easily done, how
ever ; for, both being safely ensconced behind
trees, vrith rifles in their hands, neither is wUling
to be the first to move, and so expose himself as
a clear mark to his opponent. There is a hesita
tion, too, about being the first to shoot, which is
only natural ; seeing, that if you miss your friendly
antagonist, you are yourself left without a defence.
In this way Leri and I continued, for a whole
hour, to peep roimd the sides of the trees at one
another, each ¦withdrawing his head as soon as he
perceived the other doing the same. At the end
of that time, a tremendous shower of rain came
down, deluging me to the skin, and, in despite of
aU I could do, wetting the powder in my gun.
' Leri !' I bawled out, at the top of my voice, ' is
your powder wet ?' ' No,' he replied. * Mine's
not,' I returned — ' it's beautifuUy dry !' But this
subterfuge would not do. I saw Levi advance
calmly from his hiding-place, with his rifle ready
to level to his shoulder, and wearing a diaboHcal

A MAN OF LETTERS. 91
air of triumph. There was yet one hope. ' Stop !'
I exclaimed, ' lay down that infernal instrument,
and let us have a parley for a moment.' ' Agreed !'
he replied. ' Leri,' said I, advancing towards
him, 'you are a derilish good fellow, after all.
Suppose, instead of your shooting me, we go into
partnership together !'
" ' With aU my heart,' he returned. ' Here,
give me your word of honour that, if I don't shoot
you, you will take me into partnership ?'
" 'I give you my oath.'
" 'All right, then. Let us move homewards again.
" ' The fact was,' said I, ' that, as you plainly
perceived, my gun was wet and wouldn't go off.'
" ' No more would mine !' he retumed.
"I confess I felt rather like a fool at this.
However, it was something to have won him over
to my interest, as the affair of my first marriage
might now be hushed up.
" ' TeU me, my friend,' said I, when we were
seated amicably together in my office, partaking
of a mm-smasher, 'teU me, how did you come
to know that I had another wife bring, ey V
" ' Ob, you have, have you ?' he exclaimed, with
the greatest surprise. It was perfectly new to
him. He had unintentionally told the truth. Fool
that I was ! I had forgotten that he was an Editor,
and had judged of him only as a common man.

92 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
" We, however, enjoyed a hearty laugh over
the matter. I soon underwent a pro formA trial,
was found guilty of bigamy, and sentenced to a
month's imprisonment. The same night, I dined
with the Governor, on whom I had caUed to pay
the hundred dollars for my immediate pardon.
The Judge (whom I took care to remember
handsomely) ruled that both marriages were legal,
and, to obviate difficulties, the State legislature,
for a trifle, passed a special statute on the subject.
I need say no more. My Hterary life closed
shortly afterwards ; but, although you may never
have heard of me as an author, I should imagine
that you have occasionaUy met 'with the names of
Wiggins and Levi, dry-goods importers. Sir, I
am that identical Wiggins. What need of more !"
And, so saying, the old gentleman, who had by
this time taken quite as much ale as he could
manage to carry, stalked out with a majestic
dignity, which declared the man of much con
sideration and many doUars.

NEWPORT. 93

NEWPORT.

The climate of the hot cities proring rather
too much for my European constitution, I formed ¦
the project of migrating, for some fortnight or
three weeks, to a watering-place. Of those that
were proposed to me, Saratoga appeared to be the
most fashionable and frequented, — Newport the
coolest and the most agreeable. To its other ad
vantages, Newport added the incalculable enjoy
ment of sea-bathing, whereas Saratoga was an
inland place, hotter than those very cities whose
heat formed the excuse to fly there. My resolu
tion was, therefore, very soon taken, and retracing
my way to New York, by means of one of the
dustiest and most uncomfortable raihoads that the
imagination can conjure up, I placed myself once
more on board my old friend, the " Empire State,"
Newport, my destination, lying on the way from
New York to Boston.
It does not imfrequently happen that a dense
fog arises, at night-fall, on Long Island Sound.
Such was the case on the present occasion. To
such an extent, indeed, did it prevail, that we

94 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
entirely lost our way, being obliged to sound every
few yards, and not arriving at Newport tUl mom
ing, instead of the middle of the night. The
circumstance would have passed out of my mind
— for, though not a nautical man, I appre
hended that there was no danger, but only the
annoyance of a long delay — ^were it not for my
recollection of an elderly lady — an Enghshwoman
— who, it appears, had come out in search of her
husband, a deserter from the connubial hearth
and home. Upon some information she had ob
tained, she first explored New York, from which,
however, the culprit had, some time before, taken
his flight. I confess, I was rather anxious to
hear whether her name might not be Wiggins;
I was relieved, by leaming that it was Brown,
or some other common name of that sort.
Brown was now, she said, at Boston — she had
certain knowledge of his whereabouts — she could
prove that he was bring with another woman
— if there was law or justice to be had in this
country, she would serve him out. She was one
of those tall bony females, of masculine appear
ance, whom Mr. Dickens so happily describes in
the persons of the strong-minded woman, of
Mrs. Pipchin, and of Aunt Trotwood. It was
on leaming that I came from England, that
she favored me with the above communication;
for my part, on seeing her grasp her umbreUa

NEWPORT. 95
with a vindictive -air, as she enumerated the
perjuries and other monstrosities of which she
had been made the victim, I experienced a sensa
tion of pity for that other rictim, her husband,
whom I could not help picturing to myself, by
way of contrast, as a little inoffensive man, who
had tried every means of pacifying his helpmate
before adopting the expedient of flight, and who
would now be led back in triumph, tied — so to
speak — to her chariot wheels. If she had been a
pretty woman of five or six-and-twenty, my sympa
thies would, of course, have been quite the other
way. I should then have felt certain that her
husband wore an immense pair of black whiskers,
meeting under the chin. Imagination would have
invested him with the conjugal poker. And great
would have been my admiration for the woman,
who, with a true woman's fidehty, had crossed the
ocean in search of such a ruffian and cut-throat.
However, no sooner had the fog come on, and
she was made aware that we were stopping every
moment to sound with the plummet, than the rage
of Mrs. Brown, by a beautiful and natural process,
withdrew itself for a while from the distant and
unseen Brown, to vent its force upon the whole
American nation, then and there present, and em
bodied in that vessel. This was what she had
crossed the ocean for ! — She had heard of their
blowings-up — A pretty thing, indeed ! — A fog !

96 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Indeed ! I ventured to suggest, that in the land
from which she had come, fogs were not wholly
unknown, or seen only to the scientific eye. It
was in vain. " A pretty people the Americans,
to harbour your run-away husbands, and then,
when you come to fetch them, to take away your
Hves in steamers !" It is still my opinion, that
this athletic woman would have rushed upon the
Captain, and pitched him overboard, had it not
been for my interference. I caught my last
glimpse of her as I stood on shore at Newport,
with my trunks around me. She was in one of the
balconies which Hne the side of the steamer, reso
lute, unabashed, determined. A sympathetic tear
rose to my eye, when I thought that I, too, might
one day have a Mrs.  (my name) coming after
me !
I very soon became domesticated at Newport,
and spent an uncommonly agreeable time there.
It is a wonder to me that, with the facilities of
modem travelhng, some of our fashionables do
not patronize this pleasant to'wn (the temperature
of which has often been compared to that of
the Isle of Wight) instead of the old stale places
on the Rhine and elsewhere. There are, cer
tainly, one or two of its " institutions" which
one might wish to see altered, and which would
prove objections to the minds of those who ex
pect to find England everywhere. The mode of

NEWPORT. 97
life, judging from what I have seen, is this. You
rise when you Hke — always bearing in mind that
breakfast is on the table from eight till ten, and
that if you are not down till after the last-named
hour, you must wait till dinner. After losing
your way, five or six times, in the long corridors
and winding passages of the enormous wooden
riUage, 'yclept hotel, you will reach the apart
ment devoted to eating, where Judges, Doctors
and Generals, surrounded by Belles from all parts
ofthe Union, are indulging in the morning repast.
This Institution — everything is an Institution in
America — is susceptible of a rather unpleasant
Ulustration, in the case of certain gentlemen
who make it consist of almost anything that you
may be pleased to name, and seem to consider
that the true mode of enjoying it, is to order
several different sorts of dishes, which they con
sume in succession, or aU together, according to
their taste. " What will you take for breakfast
this moming, sir ?" " WeU, I'll take some beef
steak, a dish of fried-fish, and an omelette, I
guess." "Beef-steak, fish and omelet, sir. Yes
sir. What else, sir ?" " Well, let me have some
stewed tripe, and a sausage." And the happy
man, surrounded by Httle dishes containing
the required articles, faUs to work ; a change of
plate, or of knife and fork, being unkno-wn.
After breakfast, a general dispersion of the
H

98 ACROSS THB. ATLANTIC.
company takes place, some pacing up and down
the long colonnades, in front of the house, in the
enjoyment of their cigars ; others repairing to the
news-room ; others to bowling-alleys, billiard-
rooms, and pistol-galleries ; confirmed topers to
the bar ; men of a gallant habit, to the ladies'
drawing-room. At half -past ten o'clock, carriages
are at the door to take down the ladies to the
beach ; twelve o'clock is the gentlemen's bathing
hour. The stranger, however, would not be held
to commit an unpardonable act, who stroUed
down to the sea-side half an hour before the time
fixed for his sex, and came full into the midst of
a couple of hundred of fair bathers. Not, indeed,
that the American ladies are wanting in modesty.
This is the very last charge that could be brought
against those fair beings, who speak of a " leg"
with hesitation, and would sink through the earth
at the mention of a " rump-steak." The reverse
is the fact — they all go into the water, clad in
enormous woollen petticoats, thick upper clothes,
and I don't know what else besides. To such an
extent, indeed, are they cased in and muffled up
from the inquisitive eye, that I should imagine
they must come out of the sea as dry or drier
than when they plunge in.
After bathing, there are amusements of various
kinds to fill up the time till dinner. This repast,
at which two or three hundred persons sit down

NEWPORT. 99
together, in a vast room, takes place at three.
The stranger from England will find plenty to do
in watching the evolutions of the black waiters,
who go through the most extraordinary move
ments that I have ever seen out of a reriew. They
are under the command of a chief, at the wave of
whose hand they put on and take off the dishes,
marching in a row, orderly and erect. But the
most unaccountable thing that they do, is, at the
epoch of the pudding, cheese and dessert, (aU of
which come on at the same time, and form one
course), when they first march down the room,
bearing the dishes aloft and, clustering round their
leader, form themselves into the figure of a star
. — -then up the room, and form into some other
kind of figure — then up and dovm and round each
other, with marvellous rapidity and precision — and
while you are stUl wondering where in the world
all those melons and pineapples and oranges are
to go to — Whiz ! at the well-known signal, they
are popped down beside you, and off march the
waiters, empty-handed and in double file. You
wiU still be wondering, when a rise will take place,
and the company will be moving off en masse
towards the door. For at Newport, which is the
resort of fashion, I find the rate of eating in
finitely more rapid than at the commercial hotels
of New York, Boston, and PhUadelphia, at which
I have stopped.
h2

100 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Immediately after dinner, an excellent German
band, of a dozen performers, plays for a couple of
hours or so, while the majority of the company
walk rapidly up and down a vast corridor, to the
benefit of their digestive organs. Standing with
your cigar in your mouth, and a clear space round
you for expectoration, you may watch the beauty,
surrounded by her numerous admirers, smiled
upon and hated by her bosom companions ; the
lady " who requires to be known to be appre
ciated " sitting alone and neglected ; the young
man of fashion who has escaped for a few weeks
from the counting-house or the store, pricking his
thumb and forefinger with the stumps of his in
cipient moustache ; the aged senator masticating
his quid — in a word, allowing for certain differ
ences, much the same kind of thing that took
place at Bath and Cheltenham, in the days when
people frequented those now obsolete towns.
To this succeed, riding, driring and novel-read
ing, for the rest of the day, with tea at seven, and
supper at ten, a baU usually taking place at one
or other of the hotels.
There are no particularly inriting rides or drives
in the neighbourhood of Newport, but I suppose
that, with the beloved of one's soul, any ride or
drive is inviting, and if the Americans at all re
semble the other nations of the earth, there must
be a great many people beloved of other people's

NEWPORT. 101
souls, in these watering-places. I not unfrequently
felt a malicious pleasure in sauntering about,
watching the passers by, and detecting the first
dawn of matrimonial engagements, which, I dare
say, only took place in my imagination. One old
lady very much excited my indignation, by re-
moring with her daughter from the hotel — as I
heard from authentic sources — because the latter
had presumed to fall in love. Why did she bring
her there then? And, when once there, why
should she not faU in love like every one else ?
Why, because the mother had some absurd idea
that the daughter had great literary talent, and
would one day turn out a novel-writer, a Mrs.
Trollope, a Miss Edgeworth. " Literary women
should never be married" she said. The young
lady was, therefore, to be kept from all knowledge
ofthe world and the flesh — only, to cultivate the
spirit and the inteUect. I hope her mother's
prophecy may be vnrong. I hope she may not
turn out a great novelist. She was such a sweet,
agreeable girl, that I wish her a better fate.
I could not, however, help musing upon the
futihty of those efforts which some parents are
always making to build up between their children
and the passions which most naturally assail them,
a barrier which no one has ever erected, or ever
wUl erect— a waU, to keep out what ? Why, the
earth, of which the very wall itself is composed.

102 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
The fact is, that the world and the flesh — and 1
might continue the quotation still further — are so
mixed up with every thing that we either meditate
or put in action — with all that is passing around
and about us — that to keep a young man or a
young woman in entire unconsciousness of their
working, is a dovmiright impossibility. To shut
the door of the mind and the understanding, to the
longings and passions of which human nature is
susceptible, is only to give them time to accumu
late outside. When it is opened, they rush in and
triumph. They should have been fought singly.
And there is a deep moral in the old tales, which
tell of kings and viziers shutting up their princes
and princesses in lonely towers, to prevent thefe
being married, like the Moorish monarch in the
Tale of the Alhambra, who thought to keep his
son from a knowledge of the meaning of love.
The young people always triumph. The prince
always gets out of his confinement, and finds a
princess suited to his mind ; the princesses al
ways find means of admitting a corresponding
number of princes. The guards are slain, the
drawbridge is past, and off they go !
The arrival at Newport, while I was there, of
Henry Clay, the greatest Hying orator and states
man on this side of the Atlantic, created a sen
sation which the Enghshman would be at a loss to
understand. With us, the cabinet-minister or

NEWPORT. 103
politician who, at the close of the session, retires
to his country-seat, or pays a risit to a friend,
merges, to a certain extent, into a private citizen.
He is accessible to those only who are acquainted
with him — a few mayors and corporations may
annoy him ¦with orations and deputations by the
way, but, in general, he is suffered to remain un
molested. Here, on the contrary, a pubhc man
becomes pubhc property ; go where he ¦wiU, he
must be open to aU ; the tag-rag and bob-tail
thrust their cards upon him ; Tom, Dick, and
Harry, seize binn by the button-hole, and interro
gate him as to his political riews on such and such
a point, what he has been doing in the Senate,
what is the next measure that he is about to bring
forward. This freedom of intercourse springs
naturally from the institutions of the country ;
those who have read any thing about the United
States must be aware that such is the fact.
Mr. Clay, for instance, laboured for some
months at Washington, last summer, to bring to
a satisfactory solution the great question of the
day, that of negro slavery. With this end in
riew, he brought forward a measure called the
Compromise, unhappily defeated by a smaU majo
rity, but which has been the means of calhng forth
one of the finest speeches which he has ever deh
vered. Disappointed, as may naturally be sup
posed, at the result of his efforts, and anxious to

104 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
-recruit his shattered health, he announced his
intention of spending a fortnight at this place,
expressing a hope, at the same time, that his pri
vacy would not be intruded upon. How far this
vrish bas been compHed with, may be judged from
the fact, that at Philadelphia (as I read in the
newspapers) an immense mob escorted him from
the steamer to his hotel; and, not content with
this demonstration, called him out upon the bal
cony, and insisted on his making a speech. At
New York, it was found necessary to have waiters
stationed at the door, to keep off the mob, while
he was snatching a hurried dinner ; here, at New
port, every one called upon him, and people ex
pressed their surprise at the fact of my not being
personally acquainted with Mr. Clay, proring any
bar to my going in and talking politics vrith him
for half an hour or so. In fact, the reception of
EHjah Pogram, as described in Martin Chuzzlewit,
will give but a faint idea of what this really able
man is made to endure, at the hands of his ad
miring countrymen.
One evening, an acquaintance of mine came over
to the Atlantic House, and insisted upon my
accompanying him to the Bellevue Hotel, where
he was desirous that I should catch a ghmpse of
his great countryman. I assented, resolving, how
ever, in my own mind, that I would not thrust
myself unduly forward, and, in case of an intro-

NEWPORT. 105
duction taking place, depart after the interchange
of a few common-place observations. On our
arrival, we found that he had gone off to his room,
and I was, accordingly, preparing to return to
my hotel, when my companion proposed that we
should peep through the window of the statesman's
apartment, and so get a sight of him, " It looks
out upon the verandah," said he, " and there are
no bhnds, so we shall easily manage it." I was
on the point of declining any participation in this
manoeuvre, when, at a little distance, I perceived a
large crowd collected in front of a couple of win
dows, the foremost of whom were pressing their
noses against the glass, like a mob before a sur
geon's shop, when a wounded man has been taken
inside. Persons were actually getting out chairs,
and clambering on each others shoulders, to gaze
at something within. On going up, and edging
my way through the throng, I caught sight of
the back of an arm-chair, with a few locks of gray
hair emerging above the top, and a pair of Wel
lington boots risible below. I had no need to be
informed that it was the hair and the Wellington
boots of Henry Clay, that I saw before me. Whe
ther this was his bedroom, and the many-headed
stopped to see their representative undress, I can
not say. For that night, at least, my curiosity
was satiated. My companion, however, was a little
surprised at the opinion which I subsequently ex-

106 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
pressed with regard to this occurrence. " Our
great men," said he, " Hve in the breath of public
applause. You may depend upon it, that the
great Kentuckian is not, after all, so much dis
pleased at the homage which they are paying him."
It may be so. But save me from the greatness
which compels me to shake hands with every ruf
fian who is desirous of making my acquaintance !
Save me from having to exhibit my fair propor
tions to the sovereign people, and to stand, in a
state of nature, before an admiring constituency !
Some days after this occurrence, I enjoyed
what to me was a sincere pleasure as weU as a
great honour — an introduction to Mr. Clay, and
a conversation vrith that illustrious man. When
I speak of its being an " honour," I do not
employ that term in the sense in which the Mar
quis or Marchioness of Londonderry might use it.
I do not mean to say that any extraordinary exer
tions were necessary on my part to bring about
the said introduction, or that my being introduced
at all was a mark of the high estimation in which
I was held on the other side of the water. Had
such been the case, I should have deemed it the
height of vanity to say anything about the matter ;
but as the contrary is the fact, and any respectable
man can be taken up to shake hands with the
most iUustrious personages in the country, I men
tion it.

NEWPORT. 107
Mr. Clay is now between seventy and eighty
years of age, remarkably tall, (at a guess I should
say full six feet two) ; but, notwithstanding the
period of life at which he has arrived, walks
erect and with a firm step. His forehead is high
and inteUectual, and his countenance, I should
imagine, capable of great versatility of expression.
His voice is particularly harmonious ; and, upon
the whole, he strikes me as a man well calculated
to command in a popular assembly.
If popularity could make any man happy, surely
Mr. Clay would be that individual. Feted and
caressed wherever he goes, he is the idol not only
of the great whig party, but, what is perhaps
more important, of the ladies of all parties and
political sentiments whatsoever. A lady informed
me that she was once present at Cape May, where
a whole steamboat fuU of the fair sex thronged
round him to insist upon a kiss a-piece ; my fair
informant herself obtained a lock from the few
that StiU adorn his time-honoured head. But as
there is always a something which the most suc
cessful of men are disappointed in not having
obtained, so I am informed that Mr. Clay has a
secret cause for vexation. It has been the great
object of his Hfe to become President of the
United States ; many imagine that he has not yet
abandoned all idea of winning the prize. How
he has .been defeated in his aim, how he has been

108 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
doomed to see men inferior to himself thrust over
his head time after time, needs no recapitulation
on either side of the Atlantic.
I was sorry to see that this eminent man looked
considerably worn do^wn, as if by toil and mental
exertion. While speaking on ordinary topics he
appeared a little absent, as if his mind were else
where. This was perfectly natural ; but I am
informed that it is not usual with Mr. Clay, who,
when in perfect health, is remarkable for devoting
his attention to the thing immediately before him,
and enters into the spirit of a pleasure trip, or a
bowHng party, with as much zest as he would ad
vocate a measure, or negotiate a treaty. Upon
the whole, I took my leave of this remarkable
man, praying that America might be blessed with
a long series of patriots such as he has been, and
that he might himself long be spared, to be the
boast of his countrymen, and the ornament of his
country.

A NEWPORT BALL. 109

A NEWPORT BALL.

When I had been a few days at Newport, pla
cards were hung up on the columns of our hotel,
containing what to me was a very grateful an
nouncement. They proclaimed the fact that a
ball, or as it is here called (in imitation of our
EngHsh slang term) a " hop," was to take place in
the evening. Great preparations were being made
for this event. I experienced a mixed feeling of
delight and apprehension at the idea of mingHng,
on famihar terms, with the beauty, the wealth,
and the aristocracy of the town.
From an early hour of the afternoon, the black
waiters were employed in "fixing" the dining-
room for the approaching festivities. The long
tables were borne away into distant apartments ; ,
the chairs and benches placed against the walls, so
as to leave a clear space for the dancers ; and
a kind of temporary wooden stand erected, at one
end of the room, for the orchestra ; while flat
wooden boards, pierced with a number of round
holes, through which were stuck candles of various
heights and sizes, served for the chandeliers. The

110 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC
arrival, at about half-past eight o'clock, of a dozen
or so of good-looking young men, laden with
riolin boxes, loose music, and the other para
phemaha of the art, reminded us — that is, the
gentlemen — that it was time to seek our bed
rooms for the purpose of dressing ; the ladies, I
need hardly say, had gone up stairs a long time
before, carrying in their hands the mysterious
brown paper parcels so well-kno^wn to the hus
bands of Europe, and not at aU disposed to make
the least of those charms, which nature, to tell the
truth, has very freely bestowed upon the women
of America.
I am one of those who think it, above all things,
necessary to cultivate the mind; speaking with
becoming contempt of the members of my sex
who devote any great attention to their persons,
which latter kind of adornment, I deem to be
frivolous and absurd in the extreme. In other
words, I am a very plain man. No one, therefore,
would feel any surprise, were I to state that I
imprisoned my feet in the most tightly fitting
boots that money could procure ; that the imper
fections of my form were softened dovm by an
ingeniously padded coat, and that the amount of
grease which I put upon my hair would have
sufficed for the wheels of a whole railway-train.
This is often the case with plain and clumsy men.
After devoting time enough to their toilets for a

A NEWPORT BALL. Ill
dashing young curate, about to make a west-end
conversion, or Macready, when he is going on in
the part of OtheUo, they saunter into a room,
•with a resigned air, as much as to say " Oh, yes,
1 daresay, I am not as good a figure as Captain
A. — but then, remember, he pads. My feet may
not be particularly small, but then I take no pains
to conceal the fact. My hair may not be so
glossy soft as Lord B.'s — but, provided it suits
myself, what of that? You won't catch me
spending twenty minutes, or half an hour, about
it. I am above these frivolities. You see me
in the rough, and must take me as such. I have
loftier pursuits in view. My object is the mind.
WeU, despiser of earthly frivohties as I am,
the sound of several waltzes, polkas, and quad-
riUes had penetrated to my apartment, before
I was quite prepared to descend "in the rough."
This apartment, by the way, is situated at an
immense elevation from the ground, and might,
with more propriety, be termed a small belfry,
(only that there is no bell in it of any kind.)
It is that sort of room which popular ima
gination assigns to German princes, in their
own country, before their marriage. From this
room, a bracing walk of about ten minutes takes
me to the door of the dining-saloon, through long
passages and corridors, in which Irish chamber
maids appear to be eternally giggling, and cutting

112 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
jokes, with black men. Arrived at my destina
tion, my ticket was demanded of me by a person
stationed at • the door for that purpose, after the
dehvery of which, I was at once ushered into the
scene of mirth and festivity.
The first thing that struck me on entering the
room was, that all, or nearly all, the gentlemen
were looking cool and comfortable in white trow
sers ; whereas, in our own country, they would
have been inadmissible, unless they had had on
black trowsers. I could not help offering up a
silent prayer to the effect that H. R. H., or the
new Duke of Cambridge, or some one born to
command in such matters, would one day, by his
example, relieve us from the necessity of dancing
in the dog-days, encased in thick black cloth.
However, smothering my indignation in my breast,
I cast a glance round the room, which presented
an aspect that was briUiaHt and enlivening in the
extreme, more especially when I looked forward
to the time when, the band striking up (there was
just now a pause), the greater part of those figures
now reposing on their chairs, or sauntering up and
down after the preceding dance, would be in
motion, bounding and hopping about, clasped in
each others' arms.
The appearance of a ball-room in America, does
not essentially differ from that of one in England.
On the present occasion, we were honoured by

A NEWPORT BALL. 113
the presence, not only of our own belles, but of
the most distinguished beauties from the other
hotels, who, by their union, gave rise to the excite
ment of an agreeable rivahy, each gentleman fixing
upon one of the representatives of his own hotel,
as decidedly the star of the evening. These ladies,
one and all, were habited strictly after the French
fashions, which they had taken care to procure
straight from Paris, undisfigured by the insertion of
an extra flounce, or an EngHsh sleeve, on the road.
Many of them carried magnificent bouquets, it
being the custom, I am told, that a young lady, on
the moming preceding the night of an intended
baU or party, should be presented with these memo
rials of their admiration, by the young gentlemen
of her acquaintance. This is done with great de-
hcacy, the flowers being left at the door anony
mously ; and, of course, no young lady ever has
the least idea as to who the donor can be. It thus
becomes a matter of ambition with the fair- sex,
as to who can generally exhibit the largest
number of these trophies. One lovely girl, in
deed, entered the room with the air of Taglioni,
after an unusuaUy briUiant pas seul, being quite
overwhelmed and weighed down with flowers, as
if she were sitting in an arbour.
WhUst I was still looking around me, the band
struck up a polka of that enhvening nature which
causes the feet to go off of their own accord,
I

114 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
without pausing to enquire whether the rest of
the limbs are disposed to follow. From note to
note, and from bar to bar, did that band play, and
still not a single couple stood up to dance. There
sat every one stiff and erect against the wall, as if
it were some solemn rite that we had met to
celebrate. At length, after a vast amount of
coaxing, and pulling about, and hesitating, and re
fusing, and such Hke indications of maiden bash-
fulness, a couple of young ladies broke the ice hy
t^wirling off together. They were followed, after
a short interval, by a second and finally by a third
couple (both composed of young ladies). Whilst
we were yet employed in watching these adven
turous beings, a young man with a very ^pretty
girl — I knew them to be brother and sister^
made a feeble attempt at executing the step, but
the band at that moment happily leaving off, they
were forced to resume their seats, to which they
retumed through a cross-fire from the indignant
eyes of those matrons, who were unaware of the
relationship which existed between them. And.
this being over, a general smile of content per
vaded the company, as much as to say, " Is not
this exciting ? "
Haring, by way of politeness, grinned in a
ghastly manner, intended to be expressive of my
joy, I was so fortunate as to catch sight of an
American lady, ¦with whom — from the circumstance

A NEWPORT BALL. 115
of her haring resided for many years in England
— I knew that I could talk freely on the insti
tutions of her country. Going up, I made bold
to ask her why nobody danced ?
" Oh, you are mistaken," she replied, " wait
tiU the next dance but one, which is to be a qua-
drUle, and then you ¦will see that every one — all
the young folks, that is to say — will take part in
it." " But the polka and waltz, madam, does nobody
ever join in them ? "
" Well — yes — sometimes — that is to say, there
is a certain party which does."
" Excuse me for asking such a question," said
I, seeing that my amiable informant smiled; "but
would you forbid your daughter to dance the
polka or the waltz ?"
"Most deddedly."
" You would aUow her, however, to take part
in a quadrille ?"
" Oh, yes."
" And in a quadrille only ?"
" In that only ; and you wiU find that nearly
all respectable mothers are of my way of think-
ing." These answers, suggesting certain thoughts to
my mind, caused me to be silent for a moment or
two, when Mrs.  , who is the very soul of
good humour and Hberality, insisted upon know-
I 2

116 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
ing what was passing through my head. " Tell
me, Mr, Smith," she said "what you think of
this 'institution' of ours. I have a particular
reason for putting this question, and shall be posi
tively angry if you fail to answer it candidly and
without reserve,"
" Well, madam," I replied, emboldened by her
manner, " I ¦vrill own that to a person brought up
exclusively in England, and ¦with English notions,
it does appear somewhat strange that a young
lady, if once permitted to enter a baU-room, should
yet be aUowed to dance nothing but the quadriUe,
which, as we all know, is not a very exhUarating
affair. In England, indeed, we have a party who
proscribe dancing altogether, as a vain and frivo
lous amusement. This I can understand, and I
can respect the scruples of these persons, when
not pushed to an immoderate length, such as the
condemnation of those who do dance. But, that
it should be incumbent on those ladies of America,
^ho do not share in these scruples, to shun polkas
and waltzes, I cannot, for my part, comprehend.
In a London ball-room, you "wiU see them danced
by the ladies ; and I am sure that you, madam,
vriU not be disposed to deny that the ladies of
England are as much distinguished for their mo
desty and propriety of conduct, as those of any
other country in the world."
" I most cheerfully admit the fact. And what

A NEWPORT BALL. 117
if I teU you that, during our residence in Eng
land, my daughter invariably danced the polka
and waltz, without the shghtest objection on my
part!" " Then I am forced to suppose that there is
something in the mode of dancing it here  "
"You are right; I ¦will tell you. You must
know, then, that in the public and private baU-
rooms of this country, especially in New York,
there have arisen a set of young men (unhappily
too numerous) who dance the polka in an outre,
and as many of us cannot help thinking, an inde
cent manner. They are of the class ' rowdy,' or
as you would caU them ' fast ' young men. Now,
as it woidd cause a great deal of iU-feehng if we
were to point out to our daughters which partners
they may accept, and which they are to refuse,
we think it best that they should refuse aU alike.
You now understand our motive."
I confess I was somewhat surprised at this
statement. " What, do you mean to say, madam,"
I exclaimed, " that in this country there are
young men of respectable families who venture to
introduce the manners — of — of — the Casino," (for
the Hfe of me I could not help coming out with
the word) of such a place as that, into the draw
ing-room ? And are they not at once marked
men, destined never to be invited again, as would
be the case in England ? What ! cannot you ac-

118 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
cept an inritation to a ball in Philadelphia, or
New York, without being exposed to this ? "
" Alas, no ! Society is comparatively weak and
powerless in this country. It cannot put down
these kind of things as you can. But wait tUl the
evening is further advanced, and the ' rowdy' party
join in. Then you will see what I mean."
I did wait, and, considering the total want of
spirit which characterized the whole affair — whe
ther or not from the cause which had just been
stated to me, I could not as yet teU — I looked
upon myself as a martyr to the acquisition of
knowledge. I was at length gratified (if I may
use such a term) by the sight of two or three
young men, belonging to good famihes, and en
titled, in every respect, (but their conduct) to the
appellation of " gentlemen," who led off a polka,
vrith as many partners of the opposite sex. These
were mostly of that class whom we in England
should speak of as " rather disposed to be flirts,"
" slightly inclined to be coquettes," and the Hke,
and whom writers of the Albert Smith school
would call " stunners," " slap-up gals," " regular
out-and-outers," and other such names, expressive
of admiration.
And now, off they went, the gentleman, at one
time, holding the lady's arm extended high up in
the air — at another, dashing down the room ¦with
her at the rate of thirty miles an hour, hugging

A NEWPORT BALL. 1 19
her round the waist, whirHng her round in all sorts
of grotesque fashions, taking little steps, one after
another, so small, that they were almost imper
ceptible, so that he seemed as if he were standing
in the same place, wrigghng about Hke a dog fresh
from the water. In a word, I saw enough to con
vince me that the mothers of America are right,
and to induce the hope that society in America is
about to make a "long pull, a strong pull, and a
puU altogether." Why should a large body of
amiable and inoffensive people be excluded from
an allowable enjoyment by a few miserable " row
dies?" On leaving the heated ball-room, to cool myself
in the open air (¦with the prudence habitual to
youth), I beheld a sight which fiUed me ¦with plea
sure. In the long colonnade which encircles the
hotel, and on which the windows of the baU-room
look out, there was a large crowd of poor people
Hstening to the music, and peeping through the
green blinds, to catch a sight of the briUiant com
pany ¦within. They were beharing in a most
orderly manner, and no one attempted to interfere
with them. I coidd not help reflecting, that in
England the waiters would have been sent to
swear at these people, the landlord himself might
have possibly come out to bestow a few choice
words of speech upon them, half-a-dozen pugiHstic
encounters would have taken place, and, finaUy,

220 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
the police would have caused them to " move on."
The festirities terminated at an early hour, and
I was, for my part, pleased to exchange the sound
of rioHns and cornets for the snoring of my next
door neighbour, which aforesaid snoring, piercing
through the thin partition, lulled me to sleep, and
mingled vrith sweet dreams of home, and those
(my cat and my canary bird) whom I had left be
hind me.

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 121

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES.

Among the many pleasant reminiscences of
Newport, which I shaU always cherish, first and
foremost is that of our " Club.'' Such was the
name which we ventured to assign to a union
formed by seven or eight of us, for the purposes
of companionship, and the interchange of sherry-
cobblers. Our Httle Society was not regulated
by any fixed laws, and a simUarity of pursuits and
habits had thrown us together during our tempo
rary sojourn, vrithout the intervention of black
balling. One evening, as we were seated in the room of
my friend Ahab Briggs, to whose turn it had
faUen to entertain us, the conversation happened
to run upon novels, and amongst other novels,
upon the " Gaol Chaplain," a series of papers
pubhshed, some years ago, in Bentley' s Miscel
lany. " I Hke them very weU," said an Enghsh
man present — " with one exception — they do not
usuaUy end in a satisfactory manner."
" How so ?" I asked.
"Why," repHed the Enghshman, "because

122 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
there is often a mystery which is never cleared up.
Your feelings are worked upon by the narrative of
the conviction, upon very doubtful eridence, of a
murderer, who dies protesting his innocence.
' Did Martha commit this deed of blood ? Heaven
only knows !' The End. Now, I think that that
is a most unjustifiable termination — I do, indeed."
This remark set us all discussing whether such
. a plan might not very properly be adopted, for
imprinting a story upon the mind of the reader.
Some affirmed that mystery exercises an influence
Hke that of courtship, and that the imagination
dwells more intensely upon an incomplete tale,
than a complete one ; the clearing up of the mys
tery, like marriage, being only calculated to break
the charm. Others declared that every author,
on commencing a narrative, should be held bound,
by a tacit pledge, to satisfy the reader's curiosity
in every reasonable particular ; that novels were
intended to promote pleasure, but that to arouse
a riolent passion without attempting to allay it,
was to give unnecessary pain. We were inter
rupted by our entertainer. "You are talking,"
said he, " of works of fiction, but the subject of
your discourse reminds me of the curious circum
stances attending the disappearance of my cousin
Matthias, who sailed, one morning, without any
body's knowing the why or the wherefore, from
New York to Borneo."

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 123
" How was that ?" we asked simultaneously.
"All that is knowm on the subject may be told
in a few words. My cousin (who was an English
man, by the way) was a highly respectable curate
in the city of New York. He was a great scholar,
but not at all a man of the world. One morning,
to the horror of every one, he disappeared. In
quiries were instituted ; it was found that he had
sailed in a ship bound for Borneo. About a year
afterwards, we received a package from the Reve
rend Father Concardeau, Roman CathoHc Mis
sionary in the island, informing us that my unfor
tunate cousin, after haring served some titne as Pro
testant Missionary in the interior, had been slain
and eaten by the savages. Enclosed in the pack
age were some papers belonging to the deceased,
which the savages, not being able to convert to
cuhnary purposes, had kindly forwarded to the
station, together with his head of hair. We
found them to contain a Day-book, or Diary, kept
during the last two months of his residence at New
York." " And surely," said I, " these papers must have
thrown some light on the reasons, which induced
him to leave the country in so hurried a manner ?"
" Stop a moment, I was coining to that point.
The fact is, that they do and they do not, if you
can understand me. In the first place, it would
appear from the contents, that my cousin had

124 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
formed a matrimonial engagement (which we had
never heard of, nor even so much as suspected)
with a young English lady of rank. In the next
place, though he himself describes the lady as
everything that is lovely and charming, and though
he was ultimately to obtain a fortune of two hun
dred and fifty thousand doUars (or fifty thousand
pounds, as you know) with her, he yet flies from her
side, without assigning a cause or pretext. In the
third place, this very lady, on being vraitten to in
England, where we felt pretty sure that she had
retumed, sends for answer, that she never saw my
cousin in her life, and even has the impudence to
deny that she was ever in New York ! Now, there
is clearly some mystery hidden under all this."
" Are the fragments of the diary which you
just now spoke of, stiU in existence ?" I asked.
" Oh, yes," replied my friend. " I have them
(or rather copies of them) here in my trunk. I
was thinking of reading them to you, and asking
your opinion. Only that I should be afraid of
worrying you with what are, after aU, only entries
of common-place love-scenes and conversations."
" Oh read them by aU means !" we exclaimed
at once.
" Well, then, here is the first extract, to which
I inrite your attention. You must bear in mind,
that my cousin was a curate, unversed in the
ways of the world, and fuU of piety.

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 125

Monday, February 1. — To what vicissitudes are
persons of wealth and station exposed, and how
checquered oftentimes is their career. " Hinc
apicem" says Horace, " rapax Fortuna cum stridore
acuto Sustinet, hie posuisse gaudet." And it is in
much the same spirit that Tennyson has sung —
" FiU the can and fiU the cup,
AU the ¦windy ways of men
Are but dust that rises up.
And is lightly laid again.''
I have been led into the above train of thought
by the perusal of a letter, received this morning,
while I was breakfasting. It was from a lady
signing herself Eleanor Gertrude Fitz-Eustace
Osbome, and who dates from  Street,* not
one of the best quarters of the city. She re
quests an interriew with me to-morrow at twelve
o'clock, gi"ring as her reason for "venturing to
trouble me," that she hears I am originally from
England. Poor lady ! I am afraid that she must
be in distress of some kind. On referring to my
Burke, I find, under the head of " Osborne, the
Marquis of," the foUowing entry :
" 3rd son. Lord George Gustavus Osbome, m.
1801, Mary, daughter of John Morris, Esq., of
Castlemorris, had issue one only daughter, Eleanor
Gertrude Fitz-Eustace Osbome, born 1802, who
* The name of the Street is, unfortunately, not given.

126 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
married in 1827, Charles Osborne, Esq., her first
cousin, by whom she has issue one daughter,
Ameha, bom July, 1829."
This, then, doubtless, is the lady whom I am
called upon to visit.

Tuesday, February 2. — Ah ! I vrish that some
of my English countrymen, and my adopted
countrymen here, who abuse all the British aris
tocracy indiscriminately, would learn to know
some of its members better before speaking. 1
have just been made acquainted with a very
noble-minded woman belonging to that body.
To-day, on repairing to the place indicated, I
found Mrs. Osborne located in apartments, which,
though tolerably comfortable, must appear bare
and cheerless to her after the splendour to which
she has doubtless been accustomed. There were
a few articles strewn about, however, such as
jewels, work-boxes, albums, &c., which a woman
seldom parts with, even in the decHne of her
fortunes. Mrs. O., herself, is a tall woman, with
a remarkably fine figure, and though her hair is
grizzled with sorrow, still retains the traces of
beauty, and when she speaks, a sweet amiable
smile plays over her countenance. I cannot re
sist the temptation to note down the outline of
our conversation, in my diary, in order that I may

the FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 127
refer to it, at some future period, as a means of
instruction to myself, and a lesson of self denial
to those into whose hands it may chance to faU.
On my entrance, I found her in tears, but
after a riolent effort to maintain her composure,
she spoke to me, as far as I can recoUect, nearly
as follows :
" I trust, Mr. Briggs, that you will pardon the
Hberty which I have taken, in requesting an
interriew with you, who are personally unkno^wn
to me. But I had heard so much of your good
ness," and here she put in several compliments,
which I do not think it proper to write down, as
they are undeserved, " that I wished to consult
you on a matter which has much harassed and
perplexed me."
" Madam," I repHed, " I shall be only too
happy to be of any serrice to you. As a man,
it would be my pleasure to aid with my counsel,
as far as I am able, those who require it ; in my
official capacity, it is my duty."
" I thank you, sir, from my heart," she an
swered, "and it is no more than I expected.
But, not to detain you, I must explain, in as few
words as possible, the circumstances in which I
am placed. I am, as you must know, the daugh
ter of 'the late Lord George Osborne, and the
present Marquis is my first cousin. Unhappily,
differences have arisen between us — but that I

128 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
shall have to mention shortly. When my late
lamented Charles departed this life, he left behind
him a sum of eighty thousand pounds; fifty
thousand to go to his daughter, on her attaining
her majority (she is seventeen now), and the
interest of thirty thousand, as a maintenance for
myself during my life-time, and to defray the
cost of Ameha's education, till her coming of age.
WeU, sir, you ¦wiU say that we were well off —
rich, in fact — richer, perhaps, than we ought to
have been. But, alas ! the thirty thousand pounds
of which I have just spoken, were invested by
my unfortunate husband, in American stocks, and
other securities — and — and, the result may easily
be anticipated."
" You lost a portion of your income, madam,"
said I.
" Nearly all of it, sir — nearly every farthing —
scarcely anything was paid in the pound. And now,
after struggling against privations and difficulties
for a whole year, I came to the determination of
writing to the Marquis, who is trustee for the fifty
thousand pounds to which my daughter vriU be en
titled in another four years. I received a reply
from his lordship to the effect, that if I were ¦wiU
ing to give up all control over my daughter, and
send her to Castle Osborne, he would make me an
allowance of five hundred a year, and provide for
her suitably, under his ovm roof, during the re-

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 129
maining period of her minority. Now, sir, could
I accept such a proposal ?"
I scarcely knew what to reply, when Mrs. Os
borne hurriedly continued.
" Oh, I forgot to tell you that the Marquis had
set his mind on a marriage between Guy, his
second son, and my poor child. I objected strongly,
because I thought she was too young, and he
was not a fit husband for her. I knew, therefore,
what was meant by sending her to Castle Osborne.
She would be inveigled into a match, and the dear
child's heart is, at the present moment, wholly dis
engaged. I have, therefore, sir, brought her over
to America with me, to look after the little pro
perty that we have still remaining here, and to
endeavour, for the next four years, to turn her
accomplishments to some account. I thought that
we might be doing something for ourselves, with
out being a burden to our friends, from whom,
accordingly, I should wish our present position to
remain a secret. Now, sir, I ¦wish to ask you whe
ther you think that I have acted rightly ?"
"You have acted nobly, madam — you have
acted nobly, Mrs. Osborne." I replied. And so,
in truth, she has. 1 am engaged to preach at
WilHamsburgh, to-morrow, and, as I shall be pass
ing her lodgings, I have agreed to call in again,
when, I suppose, I shall see this Miss Amelia.
Is she a good-looking girl, I wonder ?

130 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
* * * 5S * * *
Wednesday, February 3. I have just retumed
from Mrs. Osborne's, where I found Miss Osborne
for the first time. The latter is a remarkably
handsome young woman, tall, and vrith a fine
figure. I should have taken her to be two or
three-and-twenty, at the least, if her mother had
not informed me yesterday of her real age. She
looks very pale and delicate, of a morning, and has
rather deep lines under the eyes, which her mother
says proceed from a temporary indisposition, under
which she is labouring. But she is, generaUy, re
markably rosy and robust. She has a pecuharity
in her pronunciation, too, which arises, as Mrs.
Osbome tells me, from her haring been educated
abroad — in Denmark, I think, she said. Two or
three of our letters do not occur in that language,
such as h, for example, which is the one that
causes Miss Amelia the greatest difficulty, so that
a superficial observer might imagine, from hearing
her first sentences, that she was a low-bred person.
But this impression soon wears off, and the Httle
deviation from Johnson and Walker, which I have
just noticed, and which she will soon get the better
of, as she becomes better acquainted with EngHsh,
only makes her appear more charming than ever.
I told Mrs. Osborne, that the more I had
thought over the matter, the more I acquiesced in
the propriety of what she had done. At the same

THB FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 131
time, I pointed out to her the hardships which she
would have to go through. But this excellent
woman is prepared to make any sacrifice for the
sake of principle, and seems to be rather thankful
than distressed, that my opinion should coincide
exactly with her own.
" I am afraid," said she, in the course of con
versation, " that I am like all persons seeking for
advice — that I only consent to follow it, when it is
in accordance with my own preconceived ideas.
For, even if you had recommended me to go back
and accept his lordship's offer, I do not think that
I could ever have brought myself to do it."
And Amelia quite acquiesces in her mother's
determination. " Not all the wealth in the wide
world should ever induce me to quit mamma," said
she, in her pretty, broken accent. What a beau
tiful, what a touching instance of maternal solici
tude, seconded, and, as it were, strengthened, by
fiUal affection !
They will not be beggars, however, thank
Heaven ! A friend, resident in New York, who
knew Mrs. Osborne in the days of her prosperity,
continues to aUow her a moderate fixed sum, and
with that and the produce of the sale of her
remaining jewels, she hopes to be able to battle
on. Success attend her ! This kind friend wishes,
also, to have Miss Ameha with her at certain hours
of the day, and also from nine to eleven in the
k2

132 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
evening, when she can take her music lesson along
with the young ladies of the house. In the re
maining intervals, she will always be at home,
under her mother's eye. I am invited to go and
play my fiute there, on Sunday evening, when the
ladies are anxious to join in a hymn or two out of
Dr. Watts's collection. I am to keep their situ
ation and place of residence a strict secret. This
is only quite natural and proper.
I think I shall take my tea there on Sunday,
but we shall see.

Monday, Fehruary 8. I spent yesterday even
ing, according to agreement, with Mrs. Osborne ;
and the beautiful voices of mother and daughter,
raised in pure devotion, still seem to ring before
me. I don't know how it is, but I wasn't able to
resist accepting another invitation to tea there on
Wednesday night.
The recital of a Httle incident, which gave rise
to some harmless fun and badinage amongst us,
will serve to show the naive simplicity and virgin
innocence of that dear Miss Amelia. We were
arguing on the Tractarian innovation of preaching
in a white gown, when I was asked by Mrs. 0.
whether I ever, on any occasion, wore a yellow
gown. " No, madam," I replied, scarcely able to sup-

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 133
press a smile, " except it be in the morning, when
I sometimes put on a dressing-gown of that
colour." She joined in my smile, as our eyes met. " Be
cause," said she, " this young lady here  "
" Oh, pray, mamma, don't !" interrupted Miss
Amelia, with a look of comical terror and the pret
tiest blush imaginable.
" Nonsense, my dear," pursued her mother,
giving me a sort of half-roguish glance, as if to
intimate that I was to join in the fun, " because
this young lady here, Mr. Briggs, had a dream
last night, in which — but, perhaps, my love, you
had better relate it yourself to Mr. Briggs, hadn't
you, now ?"
" Oh, for shame, mamma ! You know I did
not intend you to say any thing about it," replied
Miss Amelia ; besides, it was only my nonsense.
I did not feel quite well, that was all."
" Well, then," said Mrs. Osborne, with a droll
assumption of solemnity, " I suppose that the
task of narrating this truly extraordinary circum
stance must devolve upon me. What do you think,
then, of my being awakened from my sleep this
morning, at about two o'clock, by a loud scream ?
Yes, by a loud scream," she continued, looking
straight at me and then at Amelia, who was hiding
her face in her handkerchief, and tittering bash
fully — "of a certain young lady who shall be

134 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
nameless" — another glance at Amelia — " jumping
out of her bed, and running up to mine, ex
claiming, at the same time, that she had had such
a horrid, horrid dream ? What should you think
of that, ey, Mr. Briggs ?"
" Well, madam," I repHed, joining in the laugh,
though ¦without the least idea of what was coming,
" I should say that it was shocking, quite shock
ing, upon my word. Miss Arney," said I, put
ting on a pompous voice and manner, " What is
this awful thing that I hear?" At which the
little rogue, taking down her handkerchief, favored
me with a sly little look, and then covered her
face ¦with it again, blushing and tittering anew.
" I asked this young lady, who shall be name
less," continued her mamma, "I asked her, as you
may suppose, what this 'horrid, horrid dream'
was all about? when she cried out in the most
piteous accent, ' Oh, mamma, I fear some harm
has happened to that dear kind Mr. Briggs that
came to see us.' 'Why so, my love?' I asked.
' Because I dreamt I saw him just now, in the
chapel of Castle Osborne, in a yellow satin sur-
pHce, and — ' No, my dear, it's no use frowning
— 'and three pair of sHppers on,' I think she
said." " The young lady, whoever she was, was not so
far out there, madam," said I, " for, to tell the
truth, the ladies of my congregation have worked

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 135
me so many pair, that a man must be a perfect
centipede to make use of one half of them. But
pray," I continued, turning towards Miss Amelia,
"is the circumstance of my having so many
slippers on, suppose to bode me any harm?"
" Oh, don't ask me anything at all about it ! " said
she, peeping from behind her pocket handker
chief. " Stop a minute," pursued Mrs. Osbome, " I
haven't done yet. ' Well, mamma,' said this
young lady, ' I thought I saw a carriage and four
drive up the nave, containing the Marchioness of
Osbome, and my cousin Mary, and another clergy
man also in yellow, and then they all went up to
the altar, and Mr. Briggs was — mar — married by
the other clergyman, to my cousin. Oh, how I
cried to be sure ! ' There, that's what a certain
siUy girl, not a hundred miles from this room,
woke me up, at two o'clock this morning, for the
purpose of telling me, Mr. Briggs."
" Well, my dear madam," I replied, " it would
indeed be a source of pleasure to me, to feel that
any young lady whatever would condescend to
dream of such a humble individual as myself.
But when that young lady is — yet, stay, pardon
me, what was there in the dream. Miss Amelia,
that could lead you to suppose that any harm
wonld befall me ?"
" Why, don't you know," exclaimed Mrs. Os-

136 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
borne, " that foolish old nurses and women say
these things go by contraries ? Your being about
to be married would no doubt be a bad sign, ac
cording to their nonsense. Some old nursery
recollection made the little thing cry, no douht;
that's all. What else could there be? Come
here and kiss me, my dear."
I have recorded the above conversation in my
day-book, not on account of its containing any
thing extraordinary, or even worthy of notice, to
any one else, but simply that I may look hack,
years hence, in my lonely bachelorhood, upon this
page, and think that I once figured in the visions of
a young and lovely dreamer. How artless, how
simple, how confiding that youthful charmer is !
How perfectly natural. — I am interrupted ; but I
think I shaU go to tea there on Wednesday next.

Thursday, Feb. 11. To tea last night at Mrs.
Osborne's, with Madeira, and a slight taste of hot
brandy and ¦water, afterwards. My emotions were
so strong that I scarcely recollect how I got home
last night ; and this morning, on rising from bed,
I found that I had forgotten to divest myseff of
my cloth-boots. Strong nervous emotions pro
duce thirst, and this symp ton I had too. I called
on Doctor Gargle, in the Broadway. When I
walked into his Httle back study, the doctor looked

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 137
uncommonly gloomy. I can guess the reason ;
the last time I called, was to see him about his
contribution to the Timbuctoo mission. As soon,
however, as I had informed him that I felt par
ticularly ill, he cheered up and regained his usual
jovial expression of. countenance in an instant.
On hearing my sj^mptoms, he prescribed a simple
course of soda-water for a day,
Afterwards, to Mrs. Osborne's, fearing that in
my emotion I might have done something extra
ordinary there, last night. My reception was
everything that could be wished, with the excep
tion of the company of a foreign gentleman in
moustaches and prunella boots, who sat next to
Ameha, and who certainly played the violin beau
tifully, but whose presence I could not tolerate,
I'm sure I don't know why. He never said any
thing offensive to me, nor I to him, and the only
thing that he did during the whole evening was
to play the violin, and to sit and talk quietly with
Ameha — Miss Amelia, I mean — and what is that
to me. Mrs. Osborne whispered me that he was a
distinguished foreign poet — Meyerbeer, I should
not wonder, or Lamartine, the translator of
Shakespere. But genius is proverbially ugly, and
this man was no exception to the rule.
It was some time before I took courage to bring
up the subject of last night ; and when, at last, I
did, -and Mrs. Osborne smiled, and Amelia blushed

138 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
and hid her face in her pocket-handkerchief,
Lamartine, as I thought, looked rather fierce.
At length, by dint of questioning, I found out
that I had actually kissed Amey, -and then indeed
it was J that took to blushing, and blowing my
nose, and covering my face with my bandanna.
I stammered out some apology, at which the
foreign poet laughed ironically (as I thought), and
Amelia kindly, with a sweet glance at me, and the
lady mother looked rather solemn and grave, much
to my embarrassment.
Shortly after, I rose to take my departure, both
Mrs. and Miss Osbome rising to bid me good
night, but Lamartine retaining his seat on the
sofa. No fresh invitation was given me ; but,
dear me, I must find some means of going there
again. Why, I don't know.
In the course of conversation, to-night, . Mrs.
Osborne told me that she had been much annoyed
at seeing in the English papers, that two women
have been assuming her name for swindling pur
poses. This is what the English nobility are very
often subject to.
Friday, March 26. I have not entered any
thing in my note-book for some weeks ; I have
not been able to do so. It would make me blush,
to see the pure emotions of my soul put do^wn in
black and white before me.

THB FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 139
Indeed, it would be impossible for me to do so.
Such a whirl of ideas has been going on in my
brain during that period, such alternations from
happiness to misery, such universal bewilderment,
that I have resembled one who is drunk — which,
thank Heaven ! I have never been. A marriage
is about to take place, not just directly, but very
soon. Although I am alone, yet I can scarcely
bring myself to write down those two names —
Matthias Briggs to Amelia Osborne. The affair
is to be kept a profound secrete
When I contemplate my present position, I
scarcely know whether to stand on my head or my
feet. Husband to a lovely and accomphshed girl !
Prospective o^wner of fifty thousand pounds ! what
more could I desire ? And, although there was
considerable hesitation, on the' part of Mrs. Os
borne, before she would agree to the^match, still
that is not to be wondered at. It cannot be ex
pected that a lady of high birth and connexions,
although reduced to temporary indigence, should
be ready to bestow her daughter, at first sight,
upon a man of no birth or connexions at all.
" Mr. Briggs," said she to me, after communica
ting the decision which has made me the happiest
of men, " I give you my daughter because you are
a Christian and a gentleman. I shall offend many
of her relatives — never mind that ; I am consult
ing her own happiness. I give her to you, be-

140 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
cause you are a Christian and a gentleman," and,
as her mother spoke these words, Amelia rushed
and hid her sweet blushing face in my bosom.
Oh, happy, happy, happy moment ! Ye stars,
whose ethereal course — (I am interrupted).

Saturday, March 27. A very singular circum
stance has occurred to-day, she^wing how we
sometimes meet with an old familiar object, at
the distance of thousands of miles from where we
left it. Desirous of presenting some small token
of affection to my Amelia, I wandered along the
streets, without having decided upon any specific
article as a cadeau. I looked in at the jeweller's
stores, and gazed wistfully upon the cachmeres.
At last, I came to an auction-room, where the
effects of a Philadelphia merchant, deceased, were
being sold. After a few articles had been dis
posed of, which were not suited for presents, a
beautiful miniature was put up for sale, said to
be by the celebrated Pinker, A. R. A., of Lon
don, and the subject of which was " Sarah rebu
king Hagar." It was passed round among the
gentlemen present, (many of whom grinned, as
they looked upon the countenance of their com
mon ancestress,) until at length it came to me.
The moment it met my eye, I was struck with
the resemblance which Hagar bore to my Ameha;

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 141
and the next glance showed me, that Sarah was
the exact image of Mrs. Osborne. The more I
looked at them, the more I was struck with the
resemblance. After a spirited competition, I
bought the miniature for one hundred dollars, and
in the afternoon, hurried, with my prize under
my arm, to my future mother-in-law's. "Here,"
I cried out, on entering, " I have something in
my great-coat pocket, dearest Amelia, which will
be an agreeable surprise to you."
" Indeed," cried she. " Oh, do let me have a
look at it ! "
" Stop, stop, you minx ! You must know that
it contains two faces, which strike me as being
exactly like certain other faces ; but whose those
other faces are, I shall leave you to determine,"
and I held it up to her gaze.
My Amelia tumed pale, and nearly swooned
away, at the sight. At the same moment, Mrs.
Osbome sprung from the easy-chair in which she
was sitting, and, after a glance at the miniature,
uttered a faint scream. I stood, astounded, and
scarcely knowing what to say or think.
At length, after a pause of several seconds,
Mrs. Osbome said, " Mr. Briggs, do not be sur
prised at our emotion. These are, indeed, por
traits of my daughter and myself, taken in the
characters of Sarah and Ishmael — I mean to say
Hagar — under happier circumstances. It is one

142 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
of the last articles that I consented to part
with." " Indeed, Madam ! " said I. " I bought it just
now, at a sale of the furniture of a PhUadelphia
Merchant." " Ah ! " exclaimed Mrs. Osbome, weeping, " I
sold it him myself. But, oh! how glad, how
very glad I am that it has so singularly found its
way back again into your hands, dear Matthias.
What a great consolation it is to me, to think
that it has found its way into your hands. What
a consolation ! "
" I didn't purchase it for myself, madam," 1
answered, " may I, therefore, venture to beg that
my sweet Ameha will accept this picture, as a
slight token of remembrance from her Mat ? "
She was delighted, and we sealed the transfer
with a kiss ; but, somehow, a gloom hung, or
seemed to hang, over the spirits of my lovely
Httle cherub, and her mother, for the rest of
the evening. I do not wonder at it, for the
sight of an object connected with happier days
invariably moves us to melancholy, and is the
exciter of painful feelings.
I have, consequently, risen and taken my de
parture, earHer than is my wont.

Wednesday, March 31. I have just come in

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 143
from a delightful tSte-a-tite with my duck, in
whose society I have been spending every after
noon for some time. She still continues to be
absent at certain hours during the day, and from
nine to eleven in the evening. Mrs. Osborne says,
that she is engaged in instructing the younger
branches of Mrs. Howard's family — Mrs. How
ard is the kind lady who aUows Mrs. O. the
annual sum. Anxious to recompense, in some
sort, this good lady, Amelia has been unwiUing
to resign her duties till the last, and it is in
consequence of haring these and other duties to
perform, that Ameha never walks about the town
much with me. I quite approve of all this ; it
is thoughtful, it is dehcate, it is christian. To
morrow, however, wUl be the last day of her
absenting herself ; and, after that, I shall be able
to see her at aU hours. How glad I shall be !
My loved one looks more pale than usual,
and the dark marks remaining under her eyes,
seem to shew that, poor thing ! she is stiU deh
cate. But what of that ? Nature has underlined
her eyes, to show that they are the most ex
pressive feature in her face. — We enjoyed another
of those dehcious lover's conversations. We
talked about London, and other things, in the
midst of which, " Dear Matthias ! " said my Httle
cherub to me, laying one of her dark, raven
tresses upon my cheek, and looking through my

144 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
grey eyes, with her own large swimming ditto,
" dear Matthias, when we are married, shall we
always — always live at New York ?"
" Why, my love," I replied, " that depends
upon circumstances. At first, I am afraid we
must be moderate in our desires, and as for
watering-places — "
" No ! No ! " said she, clasping my hand in both
hers, " that's not what I mean, but shall you,
I say, never try and get a church, somewhere in
those delicious Western States, Ohio for in
stance, for the next four years ? "
" Certainly, my love, if you prefer it."
The soft, pleading look which she threw upon
me, convinced me that she would, (indeed, I know
she hates New York), and I shall, therefore,
make arrangements to leave my present church,
immediately that I am married.
But it is of no use attempting to enter any
more of my conversations with Ameha, in this
book. Her words, indeed, may be written down,
but how shaU I seek to express that beautiful
broken accent, which makes those words so charm
ing, when uttered ; that seeming insouciance
about the aspirates, ¦which (unless, indeed, it be
the result of downright vulgarity) it will be a
pleasure to me to notice in any lady's conversa
tion. I don't think I could marry a woman who
pronounced her h's openly, like a man. It

THE FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 145
doesn't seem modest or becoming. It doesn't
indeed. Hurrah ! to-morrow we fix the day for the wed
ding, which is to be kept strictly private — on
account of that old grampus, the Marquis, and
for other reasons.

Thursday, April \. Undone! undone! un
done ! Ah, wretched me, that —
*******
" Here, Gentlemen," said our host, folding up
the manuscript, " is the end of my cousin's diary,
the remaining sheets, if any were written, being
wanting." " The end ! " cried every one.
" The end of the whole matter. The last entrj',
if you recollect, of his interview with his beloved,
bears date March 31. Two days afterwards — to
wit, on the 2nd of April — he sailed for Borneo.
After a length of time, we received, as I told you
before, through the kindness of Father Concar
deau, my cousin's Roman Catholic colleague, these
fragments, which I have just read to you. En
dorsed on the back, were these few explanatory
sentences :
Le malheureux M. Briggs, tombS entre les
mains du terrible roi de Kancoongon dans la
bataille du 19 d'Octobre, fut servi a table le

146 ACROSS the ATLANTIC.
I"' du mois suivant. A ce qu'on pritend, S.M. et
S.A.R. le prince Vent-du-Nord nauraient jamais
rien goute de pareil. Tant mime etaient Us con
tents de leur fricandeau d la Briggs, qu'ils par-
laient de me faire rotir pour leur sowper — moi,
missionaire ! catholique ! Francais ! A la bonne
heure. Messieurs les Brigands! vous ne songiez
pas que jaurais la presence d'esprit et le courage
de m'enfuir.
Herodote Concardeau,
Missionaire de L. C. D. J.
" But was nothing more heard of these ladies ?"
asked the Englishman.
" After we had read my cousin's Diary, we im
mediately set on foot inquiries, by which we
learnt that Mrs. and Miss Fitz-Eustace Osborne
were living in Ireland, whither they had, doubt
less, returned immediately after the breaking off
of the match. We ¦wrote to them, and they had
the hardihood to reply, that they had never been
to New York in their lives. In the course of a
very curt and unceremonious letter, Mrs. Osborne
lamented that she had been annoyed by seeing in
the EngHsh papers, that some persons had assumed
her name, for the purpose of inveigling young
men into promises of marriage, and then com
mencing actions against them. This, if you re
collect, is the very observation that she had, before.

the FITZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 147
made to my cousin. What it had to do with our
communication, I do not see. That is all that is
known about the matter."
There was a pause of unsatisfied curiosity.
" The only faint ghmmering of light which is
thro-wn upon this strange mystery," continued, at
length, our entertainer, " emanates from a friend
of mine, who spent with my cousin the very last
evening that he remained on American soil — the
very evening before his unaccountable embark
ation. Even his letter — which, I think, T have
somewhere by me — ^goes to prove nothing further
than that the two young men had partaken rather
too freely of the juice of the grape, which I am
surprised at in the case of my cousin, though not
in that of my friend. I scarcely know whether
this letter be worth reading — however — "
" Oh, let us have it, by all means," we cried,
each one feeHng assured that he would deduce
some fact from it, which had escaped the attention
of every one else.
" WeU, here is the letter, then : —
" Bethlehem, Ohio, August 6.
" Dear Ahab,
"With regard to your cousin's sudden departure, &c., I
am sorry I can give you no information. I supped with
him, at his request, on the Thursday night. He then was in
capital health and spirits, and seemed to have just parted
from some one he was very fond of, though who he or she
was I could not leam. We drank a good deal of Madeira,
l2

148 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
and I thought your cousin was rather getting beyond the
mark. I, therefore, proposed to go to the Bowery Theatre,
which, for once, he consented to do. I am sorry to say he
was there taken so uncommonly drunk, that I had to take
him out and see him to the door of his boardiag-house ;
since which, as you know, I have never set eyes on him.
I hope your fanuly are aU weU. Remember me to them,
I hope your father has reaUzed by the sale of his farm-
servants. " Very sincerely yours,
"NiMEOD 0. Haines.
" To Ahab Briggs, Esq.,
" ElephantopoUs, " Kentucky.
" P.S. Just to show you how drunk your cousin was—
after the drama of " The Fatal Oak," there were some pose
plastigue exhibitions ; a figurative representation of " Co
lumbia chastising the British Lion ;" " Ariadne on the
Panther," &c. WeU, just as the curtain drew up, and
Aiiadne, clad in flesh-coloured tights, (a remarkably good-
looking girl, by the way) was discovered sitting on the
Panther, what do you think your cousin did ? He stood
up, and, shrieking out ' Oh AmeUa !' feU back — 1 am
sorry to ¦write the words — dead drunk. Our citizens
beUowed, " Turn him out !" from every part of the house ;
and, I assure you, the lady on the panther was so fright
ened, that the peformances had to be stopped."
There was a pause.
" WeU, I think there is nothing to be made out
of that !" said our host.
" And is there positively no other document,"
asked the Englishman, " on which to found a sur
mise ?"

THE FlTZ-EUSTACE OSBORNES. 149
" None at aU."
There was no use in staying there, racking our
brains, all day long. So that the sitting broke up,
amidst general disappointment that we had been
unable to fathom the mystery. The Enghshman,
indeed, appears to have not yet given it up, for he
has been heard to remark, that when he goes to
New York, he shall make a point of inquiring
after mrs. and miss fitz-eustace osborne.

150 across the ATLANTIC.

BALTIMORE.

I cannot say that Baltimore impressed me as
favourably as the other cities which I had seen.
It appeared to my eyes a formal red-brick place,
enveloped in dulness — a dulness which not even
the glowing accounts of its exports in tobacco,
wheat, flax, and hemp, could dispel. But what
formed its great staple of attraction was, that here,
at all events, I should see human beings who be
longed to other human beings. One felt a secret
glow of pride and self-congratulation, when the
reflection arose in the mind, that the black ser
vant who showed you up to your bed-room — all
that compHcated machinery of legs and arms,
bones and sinews — all that head, with the ideas (if
any) which it was capable of producing — that all
this might become as effectually and thoroughly
your property, as the ring on your finger or the
boots on your feet— by the passage, from your
pocket into some one else's pocket, of a few tom,
dirt-begrimed bits of paper called banknotes.
This dehcious idea, that you are served by so
many pounds, ounces, pennyweights, and gr45^

BALTIMORE. 151
of human flesh and blood, not by so many sentient
and intelligent fellow beings, lingers Hke a per
fume about the hotel, and comes home to you
again in the Entrance Hall, where a printed notice
is hung up, to the effect that no coloured person
(bond or free) can leave the town, without first
depositing his papers at such and such an ofiice,
and taking a white man to be his surety. The
antipathy of one race to the other is carried on,
even long after the peculiarities which called it
forth have been softened down by intermarriage,
and disappeared with time. The following anec
dote, which was told me by one of the very first
gentlemen of the city, and alluded to by others
as a perfectly well known and justifiable fact,
speaks more than whole volumes.
My informant stated that, some time ago, a
very good-looking and gentlemanly young man
came on a visit to Baltimore. It was not exactly
known of what state of the Union he was a native,
but being introduced by one of the leading inhabi
tants of the place, he was soon welcomed into the
first society. He was a universal favourite with
the ladies, who admitted him, not only into their
houses, but as the chosen companion of their
rides and drives. After a time, it was whispered
about that he was on the point of " declaring
himself" (as it is called) to a young lady, a mem
ber of one of the most fashionable families in the

152 across the ATLANTIC.
city ; and there was no doubt, that if he gave
satisfactory proof of being able to support her in
a suitable manner, no opposition would be offered,
on, the part of her friends, to the match.
Suddenly the rumour arose (circulated, as it
afterwards turned out, by a person who had known
him elsewhere) that this young man had negro
blood in his veins. It must have been an infini
tesimal quantity, inasmuch as persons accustomed
all their lives to note the peculiarities of the
African race, had never even suspected the fact.
" He was as white as you and I, sir," said my
informant. Inquiries were instantly set on foot ;
and the rumour haring been found to be correct,
not only was he immediately banished from aU
society, and compelled to leave the city, but the
vengeance of the fashionable circles fell upon the
unoffending person who had been the means of
introducing him, and who, it was supposed, must
have known the facts of the case. In vain this
gentleman pleaded that he had been as much taken
in, as any one. else, by the rascally impostor. He
was not believed, and what was the end of the
matter, as regarded him, my informant did not
state, further than adding that he long had cause
to rue his imprudence. He may, for what I know,
have died (if guilty) the ¦rictim of remorse for his
crime. Mr. Dickens, if I remember rightly, speaks of

BALTIMORE. 153
Barnum's Hotel, Baltimore, as the most comfort
able one that he was in, throughout the whole of
the United States. I venture to submit a dia
metrically opposite opinion, founded upon two
trifling circumstances. Firstly, that, during the
time of my stay, I was kept awake, from five till
eight in the morning, by such a ringing and peal
ing of bells in the house, as would have been
scarcely excusable on the plea of a victory over
the combined forces of the world. Secondly, that
in the concoction of drinks — I allude to sherry-
cobblers and the other American drinks — the pro
portion of sherry is decidedly smaller, and that of
water larger, than in any hotel of my acquaintance.
The leading features of Baltimore are the same
as those of Boston, New York, and Philadelphia.
It is principally distinguished from an English
town by the tall, green posts, planted in the earth
at the edge of the pavement, in front of the shops,
to hang awnings upon. Every third house is a
Daguerreotypying Estabhshment, and every pla-
cai'd on the walls refers to Ethiopian Serenaders.
Every man is an outre Parisian, and nearly every
woman whom you meet good looking. There is a
fashionable quartier, containing some of the best
houses that I have seen in America ; and a great
deal of building, and lath-and-plaster enterprise,
going on in different directions.
I went up one afternoon, after dinner, to enjoy

154 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
myself in the cemetery, which, I think, always
forms a pleasant addition to the suburban re
creations of a large town or city. Were I tot
tering on the brink of making myself happy for
life with some adorable fair one, I would avoid
taking her into a cemetery. There is a sense of
total isolation from all that surrounds you, of
being the only two creatures resembling one ano
ther, the only two endowed with life and breath, in
that silent spot, which, by the very similitude which
it creates, necessarily brings you more closely to-
gether,"both in a moral and physical point of riew.
Accordingly, I was not surprised to see three or four
couple of gaily dressed young persons sauntering
along the gravel paths, and gazing (but without
much apparent emotion) at the tomb-stones and
inscriptions. But a few short days, and others
might be telhng the tale of affection over them.
How uncertain is life ! An old reflection — old as
the first death that took place in this sorrowful
world — perhaps, even as old as the hills, but likely
to-prove just as enduring !
The burial-ground had once formed a park or
small domain ; and the old house of its deceased
proprietors, which had not yet been pulled down
and cleared away, stood vacant and tenantless in
the midst of the tombs. Those who had sold it,
for the purpose of being turned into a cemetery,
were, I was told, unable to keep it up, owing to

BALTIMORE. 155
that partition of ancestral fortune rendered neces
sary by the laws, or, what is paramount to the
laws, the popular voice of America. I could
not help picturing to myself the history of this
little domain, and comparing it with that of the
pilgrims, who had at length found a resting-place
wdthin its tranquil precincts. I thought of it as
it might have appeared in its infancy, long years
ago, when the woods were first cut down, and the
swamps drained off, when its very existence had
to be protected from the inroads of the savage
Indians, as the smiling innocence of the 'babe is
guarded from the first pains and diseases which
dispute, inch by inch, and step by step, the
thorny pathway of life. And of its youth,
when the log-cottage was up, and the seed was
sown, and there were dreams of its fertility, which
were, perhaps, never to be realized — hopes of
gain, which were only indulged in to be bhghted.
And of its mature Hfe, when happy faces beamed
within its borders, when the crack of the rifie no
longer broke in upon the merry meeting, and the
sound of the axe had yielded to the voice of the
maiden. And of its decrepitude and old age,
when its hedge-rows were broken down, and weeds
sprouted up in its paths, and the weather-cock,
rusted over, was no longer true to the beck of the
winds. And, last, of all, of its after-hfe, more
beautiful than all that,had preceded, like the sink-

156 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
ing to rest of a good man, when, for every one
that had toiled, and fumed, and fretted on it,
there were hundreds lying happy and quiet now,
when the entrance of each new guest into its hos
pitable shades was no longer greeted by the clink
ing of glasses and the shouts of merriment, but by
the tears of love and the voice of hopeful praise.
I was aroused from these visions by an incident
bearing the undoubted stamp of reahty. The
gentleman with whom I was walking, was kind
enough to point out to my attention a tomb, with
an inscription upon it, which I very much regret
that I had no pencil ¦with me to copy. It was,
however, to the memory of some one who had
been an affectionate husband and a kind father,
as ahnost all deceased persons have been ; and a
copy of verses, inscribed upon the tomb, attested
the fact that he had gone to a better world. I
forget whether the phrase ran that " the saint had
found refuge in the bosom of his God," but it
was something to that effect. The only pecu
liarity was, that the date of his death was left
blank; and, on inquiring the reason, I was told
that he was not dead at all, but hale and hearty,
living and carrying on business in the to^wn of
Baltimore. He is, I beheve, a Scotchman, and
has hit upon the idea of having this magnificent
tomb erected, with what he conceives to be a
suitable description in verse of his own virtues

BALTIMORE. 157
and probable destiny hereafter, so that, when the
breath is out of his body, there will be nothing to
do but to pop him in, and to carve out the date of
the event. It has been suggested, that this has
been all arranged merely for the sake of an adver
tisement, for that persons on visiting the cemetery,
and being shown the tomb, inquire, "Who is
Mr. So and So ?" The answer, of course, is,
" Oh ! he's an extensive ship-builder or copper-
founder (as the case may be) in such and such a
street." I can hardly suppose that any person
would be so profane as this. But, under any cir
cumstances, it is the most singular specimen of
monumental taste that I have ever seen.
As the shades of evening drew around us, we
returned, and it was with some difficulty that I
found my way to Barnum's, the streets of Bal
timore being execrably lighted, or, rather, not
hghted at all.

158 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

AMERICAN RAILWAYS.

It not being my intention to spend any long
time at Baltimore, I left, at an early period, for
Washington. As the mode by which this journey
was accomphshed, may illustrate the difference
which exists between the construction of rail
ways in America and in England, I wUl say a
word or two about it.
We were driven (my portmanteau and I) into
a large open court-yard, which, on descending
from the hackney-coach, I found to be some
thing like the large yards of our great inns, in
the old coaching times. Three or four Hues of
cars (the form and arrangements of which are,
through books of travel, so perfectly well known)
were drawn up side by side on rails, the yard not
being long enough to admit of their being all in
one line. My ticket taken, and my baggage de
posited in the proper place, I took my seat, when,
shortly afterwards, teams of very powerful horses
were affixed to the different rows of cars, and
they were drawn out of the court-yard into the
street, along which rails are laid down, (as is also
the case in many of the principal streets of New

AMERICAN RAILWAYS. 159
York and Philadelphia). We travelled along in
this way, like a row of gigantic omnibuses fol
lowing each other, till we appeared to be getting
into the outskirts of the town, when the team
which drew the foremost car was taken off, and
an engine affixed in its stead. The horses were
in the same manner taken from the remaining
cars which followed behind, and all being hooked
together, off we steamed in one continuous line,
transformed, as if by enchantment, from a row
of lumbering old coaches, into the component
members of a lively, rattling, clattering railway
train !
The reason of this is obvious, and arises from
the fact that the Americans, being a young people,
have wisely considered it imprudent to erect mag
nificent railway approaches to their cities, knock
ing down substantial houses, and ' ruining the
prospects of the shareholders, for that purpose.
They have not yet produced a Hudson.* By the
means they have adopted, you may take your
* Not only are the Americans deficient in a Hudson, but
it is questionable whether any of their newspapers would
venture to do what the Standard and Morning Post are now
doing — viz ; uphold the cause of a man whose case has
already been pronounced upon hjall parties, merely because
he happens to be a member of their party. Carrying the
principle further, I wonder very much, if Rush could have
been shown to be a Protectionist, whether the Standard
would have advocated his being pardoned. London, Nov. 27.

160 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
seat comfortably (in front of St. Paul's, as it
might be), and when you have got clear of the
main thoroughfares and into some quiet and un
frequented street (Harley Street, for instance))
your horses are unharnessed, your engine is popped
on, and off you go — (up Harley Street, across the
New Road, through the Regent's Park, down the
Alpha and Omega villas, and so, on your way to
Birmingham). In our country, we look upon a raihoad as
something apart, a^wful, different from a common
road. There is a " no thoroughfare " appearance
about it, unless you are in a first or second class
carriage, drawn by an engine, doing the thing in a
legitimate way. It is railed in, and fenced in,
and waUed in, and banked in, from the fields on
each side ; a body of a hundred horsemen, in full
cry, experience a check when they come to it;
intersecting roads and lanes must be either eleva
ted out of reach of the formidable locomotive by
means of a bridge, or carried beneath it by means
of a tunnel. In some few cases where this does
not occur, and you are permitted to pass across by
means of gates opening on each side, it is only by
first applying to a watchman or guardian, kept
constantly on the spot, and residing in a neat
gothic cottage built for liis accommodation. Even
then, you keep tight hold of the reins of your
horse, and look on each side of you, as if you half

AMERICAN RAILWAYS. 161
expected the enemy to appear, experiencing the
same feelings on being safely landed on the oppo
site side, that a man does who has reached the
surface of the water in a diving-bell, or walked
across Lord's Cricket Ground, without being struck
in the eye by a ball.
In America, the difference is amusing. There,
the iron trams are laid down, and, by consequence,
the trains rattle on, straight across lanes, and
roads, and thoroughfares, without any other notice
to the persons who may happen to be walking or
riding or driving on them, than " Look out for
the locomotive," painted up on a board which is
elevated on a high pole. You might be walking
in a shady lane, of a dark night, unconscious that
there " was a Hne of railway within a hundred
miles, and suddenly hear the engine turn in out of
a field behind you, and see it whisk past you, or
feel it go over you, according as you did, or did
not, get out of the way in time. As for villages
and country towns, it rattles right up their main
streets, not unfrequently stopping at the door of
the hotel, or in front of the church, by way of a
station. TDn these occasions, you might sometimes
shake hands with the people on each side of you,
who stand at their shop fronts to see you go past.
Once, indeed, being with a friend in a light
" waggon," and finding by experiment that the
distance of the rails a-part tallied with the width
M

162 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
of our vehicle, we continued to drive straight
on, it being our shortest way to our destination.
As I am on this subject, I have one word to say
in reference to luggage. In England, a gentleman
and his wife get in at Andover or Winchester,
with the gentleman's carpet-bag and his wife's
seven or eight articles of baggage. They art put
on somewhere, half a mile in front. Arrived in
London, amidst the hurry and bustle and con
fusion of people getting out, he is five minutes
before he can reach the place where the luggage
is being jostled about, and a disorderly mob are al
ready clamouring around it. A genteel young
gentleman may, meanwhile, with perfect impunity>
have walked off with his wife's best bonnet; under
all circumstances, he has to submit to a great deal
of annoyance and inconvenience. In America,
a check is affixed to each article, with a number
on it, and your place of destination. Duplicates
are handed to you. By this means, you may have
to change your mode of conveyance several times
in one journey, going from steamboat to railroad,
and then into a steamboat again, (as is the case in
coming from Philadelphia to Baltimore,) and yet
labour under no apprehension. On your arrival,
your baggage awaits you. You deliver up your
check ; it is found to tally, and your effects are
handed over to you.

WASHINGTON. 163

WASHINGTON.

Thanks to the descriptions of tourists, the
general aspect of Washington is tolerably well
known. The shadowy outHne, or mere rudi
ment, of a city intended to have been filled up
on a most magnificent plan ; a long broad tho
roughfare, with the capitol at one end, and the
President's house at the other ; Public buildings
dotted about on each side ; the cross streets,
which intersect the main thoroughfare, looking
very promising and populous in the distance, but
when you come up to them, and look down them,
discovered to terminate abruptly in an unculti
vated field, or a dirty stable, or a deep pit — these
are the weU-known features of Washington.
With regard to the climate of this place, I may
remark that I have heard two opinions expressed,
one of which slightly differs from the other.
According to the first of these opinions — mostly
favoured by persons who are compelled, by busi
ness, to reside permanently in the town, especially
hotel -keepers, Washington is allowed, on all
hands, to be by far the most salubrious city in
the civilized globe ; sickness is amazingly rare—
m2

164 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
SO rare, indeed, that a man who died at all, would
probably be suspected of suicide. According to
the other opinion, the atmosphere is more prejudi
cial to health than that of any other city, town,
or village in the known world. This is the opinion
of the Baltimore shop-keepers, and of persons
who, like myself, fall iU after they have been
there a fortnight, and are glad to get away.
The day of my arrival being Sunday, the stores
were all closed, and a decorous stillness reigned
through the streets. Here and there, indeed, in
front of an open door, three or four Httle black
children (slaves), fat, happy, and well-prorided for,
might be seen gambolling about, ¦with (a great
surprise to me) their noses actually on their faces,
unnotched as to the ears, and ¦with no chains
round their plump, healthy legs. And every now
and then, under the wide portico of a hotel, a
dozen or two of members of Congress caught the
eye, as they sat reposing, after the labours of the
week, in every conceivable attitude of ungraceful-
ness, reeking with the odour of every known and
unknown deleterious compound, whether in the
shape of rum, brandy, snuff, cigars, or tobacco.
I must confess, that I have never been more sur
prised in aU my life, than at the appearance and
manners of those members of Congress, to whom
I have been introduced, or who have been pointed
out to me.

WASHINGTON. 165
The next day, I walked up to the capitol,
where the two houses, the Senate and the Cham
ber of Representatives, were sitting. Slavery
is the subject which has long occupied the at
tention of the former body, and, to bring it to a
satisfactory solution, several measures have been
proposed, none of which have, up to the present
moment, been embodied in the form of a law.
I was informed that, on this morning, the argument
would be resumed on the " Fugitive-slave bill,"
a bill (as its name partly imphes) to facilitate the
recapture of slaves, who have made their escape
into a free territory.
Before, however, going into the Senate, I
determined to devote a short space of time to the
Chamber of Representatives. With this view,
passing through the vast circular haU, which
forms the centre of the capitol, I gazed for a few
moments upon the paintings which Hne the wall,
and which represent (as is fitting) subjects con
nected with the history of the Nation. Among
these, are to be found — The Declaration of Inde
pendence — Washington resigning his commission
— The surrender of Burgoyne to Gates — and, the
surrender of ComwalHs at Yorktown.
I do not know, with what kind of feeling the
majority of Englishmen contemplate these paint
ings ; whether with a generous pride, or an
ungenerous dislike, or whether they are so

166 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
wrapped up in them, as works of art, as to lose
sight of every other sensation, in one of unmixed
admiration for the painter. For my own part,
I confess, that I experienced a feeHng of respect
for those brave men who risked Hfe and fortune
to oppose the tyranny of a party, now happily
defunct, but which, at that time, presided over the
counsels of our revered and sagacious monarch.
Nor, in coming to this conclusion, did the pic
tures themselves fail to afford me considerable
assistance. For, on looking at them, I per
ceived that the EngHsh officers and soldiers of.
that day were a terribly iU-favored set of men,
with countenances on which the worst passions
were plainly imprinted ; whereas, the faces of
the Americans, on the contrary, were stamped
with an expression of manly beauty, virtue, and
inteUect, which must have been indeed beautiful
to behold — more especiaUy, since these qualities
are not so plainly written on the faces of their
descendants. Probably, because, like any other
inheritance (in the absence of primogeniture), by
being split up into so many fragments, it is soon
wasted away.
Passing out of this hall, by a side passage, into
the Chamber of Representatives, you meet ¦with
a book-stall, where, for a trifiing sum, may he
purchased an admirable plan of the Chamber,
with the seat of each member marked, and his

WASHINGTON. 167
name affixed. By this means, you are never at a
loss to know who is addressing the house.
I suppose it would be quite useless to note
down the fact, that the deliberations of the lower
house in America are held in a vast room, of
semi-circular form, and that each member has a
desk before him, as in the French Assembly.
The accounts of a long string of travellers have,
probably, left nothing untold, do^wn to the size,
weight and measurement of each bon. gentleman's
spittoon ; the number of representatives that had,
and the number that had not, neckcloths ; how
many patriots sat ¦with their high-lows off, and
their feet up in the air ; and how many "whittled "
away the time that hung so heavily on their
hands. This is a serious misfortune, that go
where we wiU, there is sure to have been some
meddhng gossip beforehand, to forestall us ; in
the most out-of-the-way places, we find traces of
our countrymen. In my summer excursion to
Pekin, for instance, I labor under the apprehen
sion I shaU find some half dozen of my namesakes
teaching the Emperor billiards, and making
memorandums of Court scandal. I have even
walked along VauxhaU-bridge, and found myself
not alone !
Pursuing, therefore, my usual plan, to record
the impression made upon my own individual
mind by certain well-known objects, rather than

168 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
to describe those objects themselves (which woiUd
be a waste of time, if not of talent), I will merely
remark that, during this morning's proceedings,
the House exhibited itself in the light of an
orderly and well-conducted body, with no more
noise and confusion, than seem inseparably at
tendant upon the dehberations of a popular
assembly. The neglect of personal appearance,
the downright filth of many of the members, doe^
not strike one so strongly when looking do^wn
from the height of the gallery, as when brought
into contact with them at the hotel, and the
infusion of a number of gentlemanly represent
atives, from the older states, presents, every here
and there, an oasis of white waistcoat and clean
collar, in the midst of the desert of dishevelled
heads, and shirt-fronts mapped by the running'
streams of liquid tobacco. One great advantage
in this house is, that the members are aUowed to
read newspapers, or novels, or anything they hke,
during the debates, a pririlege, which I am told,
is not extended to members of the House of
Commons. And yet, surely, where there are an
Inglis and a Sibthorp, and an Anstey, so reason
able a relaxation should not be denied to the
victim. " We can all of us talk" is a remark which I
have heard from more than one American; "a
Yankee has always something to say for himself

WASHINGTON. 169
— you never hear him at a loss for words." My
little experience, of this morning, confirms the
observation. Of the ten or twelve persons whom
I heard addressing the house, not one stuttered
or stammered in the shghtest degree ; and con
sidering the education which many of them must
have received, it was surprising how few gram
matical blunders were made — the most common
one being our old anti-Lindley-Murray friend,
the introduction of an extra negative. Thus :
"It wasn't J, Mr. Chairman, that didn't ought
to have said nothing about it. No, sir. It was
he, sir, that didn't ought to have said nothing."
However, this is perhaps hypercritical.
From the Lower to the Upper House is, in one
sense, a short step. In another sense, it is an
immeasurable distance. I mean, that the mem
bers of the latter assembly are a very different
set of men from those of the former, owing their
election, as they do, not to the horrors of univer
sal sufli-age, but to the choice of the Legislatures
of their respective States. Chosen for a period
of eight years, they are, to a much greater
degree than the others, independent of their
constituents, and speak their own sentiments on
the fioor of the Capitol, without pandering (more
than just a Httie bit) to the taste of those who
sent them there. They, consequently, present the
aspect of an orderly, inteUigent, and sedate body.

170 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
The galleries were not so full, this morning, as
I had expected to find them. But, I am told
that they are densely crowded whenever Clay and
Webster are expected to speak. The absence,
indeed, of the former at a watering-place, and
the removal of the latter from the Senate, con
sequent upon his accepting office, deprived me of
all chance of hearing a first-rate speech. But
there were still a few men in the Chamber, upon
whom I could not help gazing with some degree
of interest, knowing, as I did, that they occupied
a prominent place in their country.
The remarkably gentlemanlike and good-look
ing man, who occupied the chair, was, I perceived,
on reference to my plan. Colonel King of Ala
bama. When the post of President of the Senate
became vacant, by the elevation of Mr. FiUmore
to a still higher position, the members unani
mously elected Col. King as his successor. He most
assuredly does great credit to their choice, for a
more pohshed or urbane man I have seldom seen.
The only circumstance which suggested a doubt
as to the propriety of the selection, was his
youth ; he appeared to me, looking from the
gaUery across the Chamber, to be about two or
three and thirty years of age. I should have been
nearer the mark, as I was afterwards informed,
if I hkd put him down at sixty-flve. So that
Palmerstons are not indigenous to England, hut
grow in other countries of the world.

WASHINGTON. 171
I was anxious to catch a glimpse of General
Cass, beliering, as I do, that he is likely to fill
the Presidential chair; and knowing that, if such
should be the case, war between England and the
United States will be the order of the day. It was
not long before he waddled in, and sat at the desk
marked ¦with his name. Of course, one naturally
expected that so great an enemy to England,
would be a man of a most repulsive and fiend-like
expression of countenance ; Providence, however,
does not seem to have acquiesced in this ar
rangement ¦with regard to the General, but has
made him a very fat, affable, good-tempered old
gentleman. He gives me the idea, indeed, of an
old country squire, who, grown too corpulent for
fox hunting, has betaken himself entirely to port.
Nor can I picture to myself any situation in
which General Cass would look more out of his
element, than in a battle.
That great unwieldy man, who is now stepping
up to the President's table, to deposit some papers
on it, is the notorious Colonel Benton, " the
great Missourian," an ornament to the Senate, ac
cording to his friends, — but an ornament which,
I am happy to say, ¦will be broken off at the
next general election.
A very interesting member of the house, and
a very rising speaker, is M. Soule, of Louisiana,
a native of Marseilles, in France, who has emi-

172 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC
grated to the United States, and obtained a place
in the legislature. He has a strong foreign ac
cent, but expresses himself in English remark
ably well. In a "passage of arms" lately, ¦with
Henry Clay, he is allowed to have got the bet
ter of that veteran orator, having managed to
keep his temper (a rare thing for a Frenchman)
throughout the debate, while his adversary was
not so fortunate.
An enormous mop of gray hair, from which a
broad-brimmed straw bat has just been dislodged;
two great hands passed, at short intervals, over
the aforesaid mop of hair, in order to make it
more dishevelled and entangled than before (an
impossibihty) ; a red merry good-humoured coun
tenance, that it does one good to contemplate,
and a cheerful voice to correspond — these are
symptoms indicative of the presence of Judge
Butler, the Senator for South Carolina, a man of
great learning and erudition, and a leader of the
Southern party. I had the good fortune, after
wards, to meet the Judge, at dinner, and can
testify to his great social acquirements. His
anecdotes of cases that had come before him in his
Judicial capacity, were among the best things
that I have ever heard. Let any one, who wishes
to commit a crime, emigrate, in order to stand a
chance of being sentenced to death by so good-
natured a Judge.

WASHINGTON. 173
Another eminent Senator and Orator, and
learned Judge, is Mr. Berrien, of Georgia, for
merly Attorney-General under President Jackson,
— a very pleasing and gentlemanly man. Not
withstanding this, on the first occasion that I saw
him, I experienced a degree of awe, which would
not permit me to feel at ease. This arose from his
resemblance to Dr. Hawtrey, of Eton, a dirine
with whom I have, in my time, enjoyed many
interviews of a private nature, in a certain Httle
apartment opening into the upper school-room.
At the sight of features which recalled those
well-known ones to my view, I was again in the
fourth form, "Smith is to stay " reverberated in
my ears — .
The time would fail me to tell of all the
eminent men who occupy places in the Senate.
It must be a consolation, however, to our Peers
and Members of ParHament, to know, that there
exist in the two houses of Congress, some most
awful bores. These gentlemen, (amongst whom
I have heard Messrs. Foot and Hale honorably
mentioned) of course speak upon every motion,
and have various ways of exhibiting their folly,
and wasting the public time, although I have not
heard that any of them have bit upon the bright
idea of introducing religion into every discussion.
With the communication existing between the
two countries, this may soon be looked for.

174 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
I went into the gallery, purposing to stay there
throughout the whole day, but the heat becoming
too intense, and the speeches delivered not pre
senting any extraordinary points of interest, I was
glad to walk out again. Going down stairs, I
could not help remarking the propriety of throw
ing open to the public, the great Council of the
Nation. I have, at this moment, no more idea
as to what steps it is necessary to take, in order
to get into the British House of Commons, than
I have of the number of burial grounds in the
City of London. That you have to do something
very mysterious and troublesome, I am well
aware — but whether you have to wait upon some
chief secretary of some board of black, blue, or
green cloth — or some officer of some sort of wand.
or stick — or whether you have to swear an affi
davit before some alderman or bench of magistrates,
that you vrill do some extraordinary thing (keep
awake, for instance, when you once get in) — or
whether you can't get in at all — on these points,
there is not one man in ten, who can give any
information. And yet, surely, the gaUeries might
be thrown open to the public, in the same man
ner as those of the Courts of Law.

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 175

WASHINGTON (continued.)

I remarked in the last chapter — and, of course,
any American who gets hold of this book will
see, from the very remark, what a contemptible,
libellous book it is— that I thought the House of
Representatives rather a dirty body. I am sorry
to say that the more I recall to mind the im
pressions which I received, the less do I feel
willing to modify the epithet into a milder one,
such as "slightly indecorous," "not quite so
polished as one might have expected," and the
like, which expressions, by the way, generally
imply a great deal more. It is best at once
to say what one means, and I think my meaning
is tolerably conveyed by the word dirty. My
hotel was full of these legislators. They poked
their heads into every conceivable sitting-room,
smoking-room, and bar ; they whittled in the haU ;
they scratched their heads in the peristyle ; they
grunted in remote passages. The odour of their
chewing-tobacco mingled with the sauces coming
into dinner, and was wafted through the keyhole,
as you tumed round sick and restless in your bed,

176 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
and sought in vain, in the hot atmosphere, to get
a wink of sleep.
This is not all. These individuals — and, I am
sorry to say, many of the senators into the bargain,
— frequent the low, dingy bars. You meet Chief
Justice Somebody, and he requests you to come
in and take a "julep" with him. Your introduc
tion to General some one else is a signal for
glasses of brandy-and-water all round. There
seems to be nothing analagous to a London Club,
where a gentleman, if he feels inclined for a bottle
of wine, or even for a tumbler of whiskey, may
take one or the other, at aU events, in a respectable
way. For this reason, I am of opinion that the Eng
lishman who, by the wishing cap of Fortunatus,
or some other fairy process, should be transported
at once to Washington, without passing through
the intermediate stages of Boston, New York,
and the other cities, would form a lower estimate
of the manners of the American people, than sub
sequent experience would justify, " If this be the
flower of your nation," he would exclaim, "if these
be your Clarendons, and Russells, and Palmer
stons, what must your middling classes be ?" But
in this he would msCke the mistake, which nearly
all his countrymen who have visited the United
States, have made before him. Congress is not
the flower of the nation ; I would rather compare

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 177
it to the root. If it withered, stalk and all would
wither with it. But we never press it to our lips ;
never admit it to our drawing-rooms ; never so
much as touch it without washing our hands after
the operation.
To make my meaning clearer — which, I think,
is sometimes best done by reverting to England,
and considering how the same, or similar institu
tions to those which we discuss, may happen to
stand there — take the case of the British Parlia
ment. With the exception of certain manufac
turing members, they are essentially an aristocratic
body. It is the wealthy landed proprietor, the
younger son of the great peer, the successful
barrister, the opulent merchant, who almost en
tirely monopolise those two talismanic letters of
the alphabet, M and P. The hope of one day
getting into this august assembly, stimulates a
great many people in a great many different ways.
It redoubles the energy, and makes still paler the
pale cheek of the law-student, shivering over his
" Fearne" by the midnight lamp ; it calls up an end
less succession of extra good-humoured smiles and
nods, from the burly fox-hunter ; it opens the
pocket of Mr. So-and-So, the merchant ; it drives
Lord Gustavus Some one else, for once in his life,
to a book or a newspaper. The writer of this
humble volume does not attempt to disguise the
joy which he would experience, if to-morrow
N

178 ACR0.SS THE ATLANTIC.
morning's post brought him word that he was
returned by a large constituency. In such a case,
in his ecstacy, he might say and do many things
which it would be better to wait until he was
fairly in the House before saying and doing — in
a word, he might make himself very silly and ridi
culous on the spot.
But whence all this eagerness, this hankering
after the post of legislators, this thirst to be en
gaged on the business of the nation ? I except
the case of one who, either with commanding
talents, or 'with a relationsbip to the Grrey or EUiot
family, goes in ¦with the certainty of becoming a
Cabinet Minister. But the reader and I, who,
possibly, never walk a greater distance than from
our chambers to our chop-house and back again,
who are snoring comfortably in bed by eleven,
and up again at half past six, who could not speak
five consecutive words without stammering, who
know nothing about flnancial operations — what
should induce us to change our comfortable posi
tion, for one in which we should have to snatch
hurried scraps of sleep in a large, badly-ventilated
room, and be pricked, and pinched, and kicked up
as late as two in the morning to register our vote
upon some bullion, or deceased-wife's-sister ques
tion; in which our mornings would be dirided
between listening to dry railway details, and re
ceiving infuriated constituents, to whom, of course.

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 179
we should have made all sorts of lying promises ?
What should induce us to do this ?
Love of distinction would induce us to do this,
and a great deal more. By becoming Members of
Parliament, we rise from our insignificance into
pubhc Hfe ; we become pubhc men ; we gain a
locus standi, as well as a seat ; it is our object to
sit in the one, and to stand in the other, as long
as we can. Our names soar up to the top of
subscription lists, with the two magical letters
tied to the end of them, Hke a tail. Good dinners
are ours — not paid for by ourselves, but given
us by people in Baker Street and Finsbury Square,
— and we like good dinners. Our appendage acts
like Grimstone's eye-snuff upon the vision of some
of our friends, who used always to be rubbing
those organs with a pocket-handkerchief as we
passed. They no longer rub them npw ; they see
us. I should electrify my Httie chop-house in
the Strand, where 1 now sit down to the joint
without making any manner of sensation, if I
were one day to stalk in as the Member for Gut-
tleborough. " Did you see that gentleman sitting
at No. 7, sir ?" the waiter would ask, as soon as I
had left. " That is none other than Mr. Such-a-
one, the Member of ParHament." And he would
begin telling lies about me. These are the con
siderations which draw the sportsman from his
hounds, the Scot from his manufactory, and the
n2

180 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Irish prince (if he had his rights) from his mud
castle, and pop them all down a heterogeneous
mass within the waUs of St. Stephens.
In America, the case is entirely different.
There, the rich merchant, or the barrister in good
practice, or the man of wealth and infiuence, in
such cities as New York, Boston, and Phila
delphia, would, by accepting a seat in the legis
lature, be making as great a sacrifice for the good of
his country as I should, by refusing one, for mine.
To appreciate this, only consider the consequences
which, in that great Republic, accrue to the ric
tim who suffers himself to be dragged down from
pri^vate into pubhc life. He leaves his comfort
able house in New York, or his villa on the
Hudson, the elegant society by which he has been
surrounded, and (dearer than all) the privacy which
he has hitherto enjoyed. What does he get in
exchange ? He is compelled to reside in a mise
rable, unhealthy, unfinished town, for nine months
in the year, without any objects of interest around
him, without recreations of any kind, without
any society to speak of. He is forced to drop his
" aristocratic" airs, and to stand up and drink a
cocktail with any drunken constituent who pur
sues him to the bar of his hotel. He is forced to
sit next to, and to converse familiarly with, per
sons whom he has hitherto only read of in news
papers and novels, as we read of the " Tipperary

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 181
\joys" — savages from Iowa and Wisconsin, whom
the unsettled populations of those districts have
sent up to represent them — stump-orators, who
have not won their places by underhand deahng,
by bribery and corruption, but have rushed in
upon their opponents, and gouged them, like men.
When he goes back, he finds that his house is no
longer his own. Nothing is his own. He himself
no longer belongs to himself— he belongs to the
people. All day long, he is employed in shaking
hands with Generals and Judges, and other dirty
persons. As for any credit attaching to the posi
tion of a member of the Lower House, I should
think it must act rather as a bar to your intro
duction to decent society. You are a delegate,
not a representative — a fiunkey, not a man. A
constituency of so many thousands meet and
proclaim, by a majority of so many hundreds or
thousands, that such arid such are their opinions.
" Now, then, who'll carry our opinions up to
Washington ? Come, the place is vacant. Who
offers himself for the plush and shoulder-knot ?"
or, " Who'll be our errand-boy ?" " Please, gen
tlemen, I wih," cry half-a-dozen. Homer Smith,
or Artaxerxes Brown, or Nahum Robinson, as
the case may be, is the chosen one. " Now,
sir, you go up and dehver this parcel, and mind
what you are about, do you hear ? " You have
twenty-thousand masters. You are servant-of-aU-

182 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
work to a vast constituency, with every individual
member ringing his bell for you at one and the
same time. Respectable men will not, for the
most part, accept this kind of position. They
prefer looking on.
It is for this reason, that the personal appear
ance and manners of the Representatives form
but an unimportant consideration. They work
harder than our Members of Parliament, and (if
possible) do less. This, as it seems to me, is all
the better for their country, which, like a growing
child, requires to be ¦wrapped up, and swaddled
round, with loose clothing; not bound up and
cramped, and sweated down, under an overwhelm
ing vesture of absurd laws and institutions. If they
will but leave matters alone for a little while, with
out attempting to " reform the act, to amend the
act, to reform the poor-law," or " to facilitate the
erection of lamp-posts by a bill," the country wiU
work out its o^wn destiny without their inter
ference. But when the country has worked out
its destiny, and attained to the splendid posi
tion which it is one day to occupy, I cannot help
thinking that it will require a differently consti
tuted body, to grapple with the questions which
may, which indeed must, arise in an older nation.
I hope, by the bye, that the information which
I received from a gentleman in Philadelphia, with
respect to state-legislatures, may be a mistake.

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 183
According to this gentleman's statement, the mem
bers, in addition to their wages, pocket a great
many gratuities for their votes on private bills,
there being a regular trade in this kind of article,
and three or four weU-known members acting, by
common consent, as agents between the represent-
ativebody and its c ustomers. You are tired of
your wife, for instance, or you are desirous of
realizing a Httle on the prospectus of an impos
sible Hne of railway. You seek out one of these
gentlemen, and give him so many dollars, to be
distributed at his discretion. He acts as the go-
between, and manages the affair for you. Whiz !
presto! you are in a situation to marry your
Keren-happuch, or to rise to higher estimation
among your fellow-citizens by being the founder
of a great scheme. I hope the gentleman lied.
It is worth observing, too — ^when a man gets
upon pohtical topics, there is no stopping him —
it is worth observing the different impression pro
duced in your mind, in England and America, by
one and the same word, the word " Government."
I am not about to indulge in a comparison be
tween the Republican and the Monarchical forms
of Government ; such a discussion would ill suit
these trifling pages, and, indeed, would be rather
stale anywhere. What I mean to say is this.
When you hear of Government doing so and
so — : Govemment is about to erect a Lunatic

184 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Asylum in Downing Street — Government is on
the point of increasing our steam navy — Govern
ment will scarcely permit this and that — Boh has
got a situation under Govemment, and so on,
what do you understand? You lose, don't you,
all idea of any particular person, such as RusseU,
or Wood, or Palmerston? They are merged in
the notion of a collective body, solemn and mys
terious, holding its dehberations somewhere — at
Windsor, or in Downing Street, or in Chesham
Place — perhaps, nowhere at all, but arriving at a
determination, by communicating vrith each other
through the medium of the penny post. Does
the Queen say anything? What does H.R.H.
do ? Does he sometimes favour us with a law on
real property or Irish affairs, on the sly, just as,
openly, he has conferred upon us the boon of a
national exhibition ? When we, of the middhng
classes, have one of the ministers pointed out to
us, rolling do^wn Whitehall in his carriage, or
rattling up Rotten Row on his cob, we look upon
him with an undeflned awe, as a being quite sepa^
rated and apart from ourselves. What is he think
ing about now ? Pray, Heavens ! he may not he
about to tax me ! A veil of mystery enshrouds
that man. I shall, perhaps, never see him again
— I shall only feel him. If I wished to see him,
how many ushers, clerks, rods, wands, passages,
and waiting-rooms, should I have to undergo, be
fore looking upon his august face !

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 185
Now, at Washington, the smallness of the town,
and the absence of ranks and grades, and the tiny
space in which business has to be transacted,
brings home the idea of Government to the bosom
of every one as a familiar and well-known object.
We can almost see the ordinary springs by which
the pohtical machine is put in motion. We may
sit next to the Secretary of War at dinner, every
day at our hotel ; we walk about arm-in-arm with
the Secretary of something else ; we hob-a-nob
with a third great man; we take our evening
cigar ¦with a fourth. We meet them at dinner in
Httle back-kitchens, and see basins of broth sent
out to them.* They are but men. There is no
more mystery hanging over their deliberations,
than there is over those of the vestry, in a country
town. We are as familiar with the every-day
life of the Prime Minister, as we are with that of
the Mayor. If I want to talk on business with
the highest personage in the country, I knock at
the door, ask if Mr. Fillmore is at home, and, if
he is, put down my pipe and walk in.
* At Washington, it was my good fortune to be t-wice
asked to the house of a gentleman, to meet some distin
guished Senators. The weather beiag warm, we dined in
the kitchen, which, from its being underground, was cooler
than the apartments above. I merely mention the circum
stance to explain the above sentence, which would, other
wise, be unintelligible. As for the dinner itself, the hos
pitality of our entertainer would have made it a delightful
one, anywhere.

186 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Happening to pass a bookseller's shop, in one of
my daily walks, I stepped in and inquired if they
had a copy of Mr. Dickens's " American Notes."
There were three or four gentlemen in the shop,
at the time. The man replied " No." Some
staring pubhcation — I think one of Reynolds's
chaste works of fiction — chancing to arrest my
attention, I staid a few moments, until the other
gentlemen had made their purchases, and taken
their departure. I was about to ask for some
other book, when the shopman interrupted me
by saying " We have Mr. Dickens's book, sir."
"Why, you told me you hadn't it just now."
" Well, sir, I think this is the only place where
you will get it. I didn't like to say I had it, when
the others were standing by. We are rather a
thin-skinned people here, that's a fact." And,
in effect, he brought out one of those dehghtful
reprints, which, for about sixpence sterling, give
you the produce — the hard-earned, hard-wrought
produce — of months (sometimes years) of toU and
labour, on this side of the Atlantic.
I have generally heard Mr. Dickens's work
spoken of, in the United States, as a malicious
calumny from beginning to end (" I should advise
him not to set his foot on this side of the water
again," said one gentleman to me.) In England,
it is generally considered to be inferior to his
other works. I shall not set up as a critic in the

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 187
matter, but, as for its truth, as far as my observa
tion went, there can be no manner of doubt. I
suspect it only requires a risit to the Westem
States, to verify, in like manner, the exactitude
of his observations among the barbarians there.
Elijah Pogram is, certainly, a less exaggerated
portrait of a Member of Congress, and Ephraim
Scadder, of a low man of business, than Tony
Weller is, of a London coachman, or Ned Cuttle,
of a merchant-captain. It is a very great mistake
to suppose that these American portraits are over
drawn. But this sensitiveness to the remarks of foreign
ers is to be regretted ; this thin-skin is a skin
which ought to be cast, as soon as possible. If a
foreigner- — more especially a foreigner who had
made his reputation by writing humorous works
— were to visit England, and on his return to his
own country, amused his countrymen by an ac
count of our roughness and incivility to strangers,
our truckhng and subserriency to those above us
in station, the savage state of our rural peasantry,
our total want of taste as a people, and other
salient points in our national character, I am sure
that I for one should feel vastly obliged to him,
and read his book (if it were a good one) with
a great deal of interest. I can even sit beside
M. Ledru RoUin, at the table d'h6te of the .S'a-
bloniere, without the shghtest desire to introduce
my thumbs into his eyes and tear them out.

188 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
This excessive sensitiveness does not stop short
at the works of foreigners, but includes also the
remarks of native authors and satirists. "Oh,
you are ¦wrong there, sir," said an American gen
tleman to me ; " our satirists (the greatest in the
world) laugh at the fashionables of New York and
Philadelphia, just as much (though vrith greater
ability and humour) as your satirists do at the
great folks in London." " Exactly so, because
your poor ' fashionables ' are quite powerless here.
To place themselves on a level with the English
satirical "writers, those of your country should
direct their shafts at the prevaiHng abuses — not at
snobbishness, but at coarse, vulgar independence
— not at the aristocrats, but at the sovereign
people. They would not dare do that." " Well, I
guess the experiment might be hazardous in some
places, certainly." " Then you cannot deny that
there is an excessive sensitiveness in this part
of the world." " Well, this is a great country !''
This is generally the end and conclusion of every
discussion with an American.
The English traveller can never be told of a
great man or a great monument, in the neighbour
hood, without feeling a desire to stare at the one,
or to cut up his name on the other. True to the
national instinct, I determined to look in upon
the President, and refresh him with my converse

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 189
for half an hour or so. He lives, as is well known,
in a mansion called tbe " White House," a fine
building, surrounded by what auctioneers would
term "park-like paddocks," which do not, how
ever, appear to be very neatly kept up. Nor can
this be wondered at, when we remember that their
most gracious Majesties the Sovereign People have
not condescended to allow their humble servant,
.the President, a greater sum by way of annual
stipend or wages — ^they are " board-wages," by
the bye — than would amount to the income of an
English squire.
I shall not mention how many servants Mr. FiU
more has got, nor relate what somebody told me
that Mrs. Fillmore once said to Miss Fillmore,
nor give an account of certain private circum
stances, hitherto not known, about Mr. Fillmore's
maternal great-grandfather — for I do not wish to
come into competition with Mr. N. P. Willis,
whose noble genius has made this style of narra
tive quite his own. Suffice it to say, that the
President is a most agreeable and gentlemanly
person. The gentleman who had been kind
enough to charge himself with my introduc
tion, being a resident at Washington, and a per
sonal friend of Mr. Fillmore's, we did not confine
ourselves to the ceremony of saying a few words,
and then departing, but strolled about the house
and the garden. Returning into the room after

190 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
one of these excursions among the flower-beds, I
caught sight of a party in the act of being intro
duced to the President. One was an old lady, old
enough to have conversed vrith every President,
from Washington to the present time. I remarked
that when her turn came, she took Mr. Fillmore's
hand in hers, and, raising it respectfully to her
Hps, and holding it there for a few seconds, shed
tears. There was something infinitely more
pleasing and agreeable to my mind, in the affec
tionate manner in which this old lady greeted the
Head of her country, than in the vulgar assurance
and "I'm as good as you" kind of expression,
which floated in on the brown hats and dirty
stockings of some of the other odious fellows.
But she was born, no doubt, before these high-
flown ideas of modem independence had come
into vogue, before people had lost all manner of
respect for everything and everybody (including,
very often, themselves).
I do not know, indeed, which is the more pain
ful sensation of the two — to hear a London lady
talking to her footman as if he were a dog, while
he, too, fully carries out the idea, by cringing, and
fa^wning, and, so to speak, wagging his tail before
her, like the most abject of shaved and fattened
poodles — or to be exposed to the beastly insolence
and filthy familiarity of American car-drivers,
coachmen,' and steamboat employes. Perhaps the

WASHINGTON (CONTINUED.) 191
former is theoretically the more disagreeable, as
the latter is in practice.
As we came out of the house, and saw fresh
parties of men and women arriving to shake hands
with their Ruler, one could not help contrasting
this state of things vrith the idea of Deioces, the
founder of the Empire of the Medes, who actually
shut himself up in his palace, for fear that the
very sight of him, in the streets, should breed fami-
Harity and contempt among his subjects. What
would the poor old gentleman say — if the particles
once constituting his earthly body, could be con
tributed, for the occasion, by the parties now in
possession of them — if he could be rerived and
made to witness the crowds hurrying in, to wring
the arm of their chosen one from his shoulder!
Let us be thankful that we are not among the
rulers, but the ruled.

192 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

A CAMP MEETING.

I had often felt a desire to be present at one
of those Camp Meetings, of which we read in the
life of Dr. Adam Clarke, and other entertaining
books, but had not, hitherto, met with an oppor
tunity of gratifying the wish. It was with
pleasure, therefore, that I saw hanging to the
walls of the hotel, a printed announcement, to
the effect, that one was about to take place in
Virginia, at the distance of eight or ten miles
from Washington. Omnibuses, and every kind of
vehicle, were to be in readiness, to convey the
believer to the scene of action. I preferred,
however, riding on horseback, and, accordingly,
sent round to one of the livery-stable-keepers of
the town, to order an animal, adding, at the same
time, that as I might choose to stop at the meet
ing till rather late, and the accommodation for
horses might prove deficient, I should not he
wanting anything very spirited, thorough-bred, or
Arabian, but should be content with a plain ser
riceable nag to do the work.
Nothing could be more touching than the

A CAMP MEETING. 193
beautiful maimer in which the stable-keeper fell
ih with one clause or section of the message, for,
assuredly, the old chestnut mare which was led
up to the door, could have passed for an Arab
nowhere but on the stage, where, I suppose, a
racer might be played by a cart-horse, in the same
way that we sometimes see a man, who leaves
out his aspirates, in the part of a duke or a king.
I am inclined to beheve, that this quadruped was
afihcted with every disease which horse-flesh may
be heir to. A side-way view to the right, or tbe
left, was terminated in the prospect of a broken
¦wind ; in front, was the coup-d'oeuil of broken
knees; curb revealed its presence, behind, by an im
mense enlargement of the hock, which protruded,
and hung out, from the rest of the frame, Hke
a huge ribstone-pippin in the trousers'-pocket of
a schoolboy. It appeared to me, as I moved down
the street, that two or three dogs eyed my steed
with a hungry, and myself ¦with an angry, look,
as if I were hurrying off with a morsel which
ought, by this time, to have found its way into
their mouths. Perhaps, Buena Vista entertained
the same idea, for, about this time, she gathered
up her legs under her, and struck out with them
in aU manner of directions, a motion which (al
lowing some degree of latitude), I construed into
a desire to trot.
The Potomac, which dirides the district of Co-

194 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
lumbia, in which Washington is situated, from the
neighbouring State of Virginia, is crossed by a
wooden-bridge, of such extreme length, that it
seems as if you were never destined to get upon
the hard road again. Every now and then, a large
space, left open by the faUing away of a rotten
plank, reveals a distinct view of the river beneath,
and great care is necessary in dodging round the
holes and fissures made by time, in this very long,
if not very high, work of art.
It was a beautiful summer evening in which I
rode on, and the rays of the departing sun glanced
upon the woods which interposed themselves,
every now and then, as if to swallow up the road
along which I trotted uneasily to my destination ;
upon the fences, built up of rude logs, piled cu
riously one above the other; and upon the com
fortable farm-houses lying on either side of the
way. Sometimes I met a party returning from the
Camp, and looking as unhke devotees as it is pos
sible to imagine ; not unfrequently, I feU in with
cartloads of negro labourers, retuming from their
work in the fields. These, too, were most un
seasonably merry, exchanging jokes with me as
they passed, chaunting forth songs, and altogether
devoid ofW;hat appearance of misery and anguish,
the recital of which fills the mouths ofthe orators,
and empties the purses of the Hsteners, in Exeter
Hall. It was a fearful thing, to think that these

A CAMP MEETING. 195
beings were so insensible to the blessings of
liberty, that, though deprived of it, they could,
nevertheless, eat and drink, and grow fat, in con
tradistinction to the Essex labourer, who enjoys
the great boon, and enjoys — I am sure I do not
know what else besides.
There is an institution prevalent upon this, and
perhaps upon other roads, the advantages of
which I have not yet been able to perceive or to
master. It is met -with, at intervals of about a
quarter of a mile, and consists of two or three
logs, or sometimes planks, thrown across the way.
The obstacle, not being high enough to leap over,
nor low enough to walk over, is calculated to
endanger an aheady not very well established
equilibrium, and to act like a rabbit-warren upon
the nerves of the timid equestrian. I confess that
I Was not sorry when the sight of a flag, waring
on the top of a high pole, in the outskirts of a
thick wood, which bordered on the road, gave in
dications that I was in the vicinity of the Camp
meeting. Finding, on enquiry of a party who
were standing hard by, smoking cigars, that my
surmise was correct, I plunged into the wood, by
a narrow path, in much the same way as, with
the hounds, we go into cover. A short ride
brought me to a booth, where wines and Hquors
were to be sold. About a quarter of a mile
further on, I arrived at a temporary stable,
o2

196 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
constructed by the piling up of logs, whence, dis
mounting, and learing Buena Vista to the care of
a negro ostler, I pursued my way till I came upon
a large open space in the wood, where the tem
porary location of the meeting had been fixed
upon.
^xEe~^ene which now presented itself to my
eyes. Was. as novel and curious to me, as it would,
no doubt, have been familiar and dehghtful to a
follower of Wesley or Whitfield. In every di
rection, tents and booths had been erected, giring
one the idea of Greenwich fair transported into
the ^ midst of the New Forest. In some of these
tents, large parties were refreshing themselves
after the devotions of the day, while, at a Httle
distance from the entrance, and suspended over a
crackling fire of furze and dry wood, the in
nocuous kettle hissed and sung. From others,
vast multitudes of men, women and children were
pouring forth to the temporary pulpits which had
been put up for their edification/ and from which
the loud-mouthed preacher was scaring away the
racoons and the opossums, more effectually than
the evil one. There was, besides, a goodly as
semblage of persons who appeared to have been
brought there, like myself, from a feeHng of
curiosity, and some who, it was plain, had even a
worse motive for coming. Mingled with all this
devotion, was a certain Aristocracy of ReHgion»

A CAMP MEETING. 197
which had taken care that there should be a spe
cial part of the encampment set apart for the
negroes, and separated from the rest. The black
members of the sect had, accordingly, their tents,
and their preachers, and experienced the workings
of the spirit, and were tumed from earth to
heaven, at a convenient distance from the whites.
- , I approached one of the temporary pulpits, in
front of which a smaU space had been railed off,
destined, I suppose, for the accommodation of
bondfide members, and at the entrance to which,
two presbyters, or deacons, kept watch like
dragons. The interior of this space was packed
close vrith an attentive congregation, consisting of
men on the one side, and women on the other.
Many of the latter were conspicuous, amidst the
duU hght of the tallow candles, for the tawdriness
of their costume, and the profusion of rings,
necklaces and bracelets with which they were
embarrassed. A chorus of three or four stalwart
bumpkins, who had probably vindicated to them
selves, by their superior strength of lung, the
conduct of this part of the serrice, were vocifera-
ting^a hymn, which must have effectually warned
any demon of taste off the premises ; the re
mainder followed the words, and — as far as was
possible — the tune, in a lower tone of voice.
When this part of the serrice had been concluded,
one of the spiritual directors knelt down to offer

198 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
up a prayer. He had scarcely proceeded far,
however, when a shriek arose from the compact and
perspiring mass before me. It was followed by
another and another, and I could now plainly see
that a woman was striking out and struggling rio-
lently, in some sort of desperate convulsion or fit.
The first impulse of a man, on such an occasion,
is to rush forward to the assistance of the suf
ferer, and to endeavour to promote — although in
nine cases out of ten, he only retards — a recovery.
As luck would have it, I had about me a smell
ing-bottle, which, from having felt faint during
the last two or three days at Washington, I had
been induced to carry. Advancing with it in my
hand, I was stopped at the entrance to the en
closure by one of the aforesaid presbyters, deacons
or elders, who enquired, composedly, where I
was going. " Why, don't you see that there is
a lady taken ill ? " said I. " My good sir," re
turned he, " you are under a mistake. That
woman is not taken iU. The spirit is working
within her, and she caimot help what she is doing.
Oh, may the time come when you will be in the
same blessed condition ! "
I now recollected that I was in the midst of
one of those rehgious sects, who believe in these
instantaneous conversions. The service proceeded
without any apparent interruption, the person
praying, neither turning round his head to the

A CAMP MEETING. 199
place whence the sounds proceeded, nor pausing
in his torrent of invectives against Sin. As for the
woman herself, she was borne away by her sym
pathising friends, who endeavoured, in vain, for
some time, to comfort her, but who succeeded at
last, in carrying her off to one of the booths, to a
more comfortable frame of mind, and, I trust, to
tea. This kind of scene was repeated, at short in
tervals, during the whole of the time that I stood
by ; the women being the only performers, and
the men entirely refusing to come up to the
scratch. Every now and then, a young female
would burst forth into a succession of shrieks,
throw up her arms, struggle for some moments,
and at length faU, hot and perspiring, upon the
damp leaves, refusing to get up, and taking, as it
appeared to me, the readiest way to test the
efficacy of the instructions which she had received,
to bring her to Heaven. The weather, however,
being remarkably sultry, it was calculated that a
less number of conversions took place in this, than
in preceding years.
The service had no sooner concluded, at this
temporary place of worship, than it was heard to
burst forth from another, which was situated at a
short distance. The crowd of devotees poured
forth from the enclosure, and moved on, to profit
hy the ministrations of a fresh set of teachers.

200 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
For my part, haring seen and heard enough, I
strolled leisurely back to the place where I had
left my horse, ¦with the determination of retuming
home. As I walked along, I could not help thinking
that the Scylla, which yawns on one side of the
church, is not a whit less terrible than the Cha-
rybdis, to which every one is caUing our attention,
on the other side. We are carefully informed of
the number of clergymen who set out from Ox
ford, every year, to kiss the infaUible toe of the
Pope. But we shall never know bow many Mrs.
Smiths and Mrs. Browns have been induced to
neglect their household duties, to run after popular
preachers ; to swoon at missionary meetings,; studi
ously to make home uncomfortable for a worldly
husband ; to do, in a word, those thousand htde
unchristian acts, which are sanctioned by a per
verted Christianity. The people, whom I now
saw before me, for instance, had, many of them;
deserted their homes and famihes for a whole
week, from the beginning to the end of which,
they had been indulging in nothing more nor
less than religious dissipation. How much more
effectuaUy would they have evinced their hatred
of the Tempter, if, instead of batthng with
him openly and physicaUy, ¦with their arms and
legSi as if he were a risible and palpable object
— which he is not — they had silently undermined

A CAMP MEETING. 201
his influence by private self-restraint, and the
performance of benevolent actions, as if he were
a subtle and invisible agent — which, if he exist
at aU, he certainly is. These Camp-meetings,
too, must of necessity draw together many of the
idle and riciously inchned, persons who come to
seek anything rather than salvation. This very
one, at which I was then a spectator, had been
the scene, every night, of disgraceful fights and
riots ; stiU-bom infants had been discovered on
the ground; every species of immorahty had been
going on.
Full of these and similar meditations, I got
upon my mare, and pursued, in silence, a narrow
road, which I made no doubt was the identical
one by which I had entered the wood. Too late,
I found, to my cost, that it was much more easy
to find your way in, than to find it out again, in
which sense the wood might be said to resemble
a beetle-trap, and I myself might be not inaptly
compared to the beetle. Conscious, at last, that
I had wandered far out of the right direction, I
endeavoured to retrace my way to the Camp-
meeting, and, with that intention, stood up in the
stirrups, and Hstened, from time to time, for the
cannonade of psalmody, and the shrieks of the
converts, which, I made sure, must be audible at
a considerable distance from the scene of action.
Unattended with success, my efforts resolved

202 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
themselves into an endeavour to read the heavens,
and to deduce from the position of certain stars,
the various points of the compass. I was saved
from the humihation of feeHng that I had for
gotten all my astronomy, by the clouds them
selves, which, pouring over the face of heaven, in
all directions, blotted out the stars from my riew.
Attracted, no doubt, by the romantic nature of
my situation, a few pattering rain drops fell upon
my hat, to complete the picture, and a soaking
wet night, in a Virginian wood, seemed to be the
most cheering prospect that fate had in store
for me.
It was at this moment, that, from the bushes
on my left-hand side, I caught a rustling sound,
which, in my ignorance of natural history, I
feared might turn out a lion, and almost hoped
would prove to be only a panther or a ¦wild-cat,
after all. It was a negro, who, looking cautiously
around him, hurried stealthily along, ¦with a
bundle suspended to a stick, which was slung
across his shoulder. I called out to him, but my
voice only made him quicken his steps, in the
opposite direction. I called out again that I had
lost my way, and this had the desired effect of
bringing him to a stand-still.
I shall not easily forget the expression of that
man's face, when I overtook him — the cowering
look, the drops of perspiration that chased each

A CAMP MEETING. 203
other down his sable cheeks. Calling to mind
what I had heard, that these Camp-meetings were
constantly furnishing discontented slaves ¦with an
opportunity to escape, I could scarcely feel a
doubt that I had fallen in with one of these
" fugitives from labour." However, I felt no
anxiety to have my doubts cleared up, or to ex
tract a confession, which might, for what I know,
have placed me in the position of an accessory
after the fact, or a receiver of stolen goods. I
preferred, therefore, asking him for the way to
Washington. This, he either was, or pretended
to be, ignorant of; but, if I foUowed the path
which he was taking, I should be shortly clear of
the wood, he said, and out in the open fields.
Profiting by this adrice, I shortly emerged into
the open country, and had nothing better for it
than to ride straight on, in the hope of lighting
upon some farm-house or cottage, where I might
obtain shelter for the night. The rays of the
moon, which at this time burst forth from the
clouds, happily shone upon the white walls of a
small house or hut, which stood at no great dis
tance, and, on riding up, discovered that it was a
little road-side tavern or inn. Before the door,
stood several of those Hght gigs, denominated in
America "waggons," the sides of which were
beplastered with mud, as the horses were covered
with foam. The sounds of boisterous merriment

204 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
came from within, and smote gratefuUy upon
the ear. Giring my horse to be held by a boy^
I walked in, and was immediately shown into a
small parlour, where a party were partaking of
supper. The supper was a genuine American one, con
sisting of tautog, soft crabs, cantelopes, peaches,
and other products of the country. The party
included four young gentlemen, and as many
ladies, whom — for " charity thinketh no evil," —
I, of course, at once saw to be their wives. The
good-nature of the Americans is one of the most
pleasing features in the national character; in
stead of being looked upon as an intruder, I was
welcomed to the table, and, in the course of a few
minutes, was the bosom friend of every one pre
sent. They had been haring what Enghshmen
would call "a lark," at the meeting, and were
amusing themselves with reminiscences of the
hymns which they had heard, and the conversions
of which they had been witnesses. This only
confirmed me in my beliefj that these great bon
fires of religious zeal, kindled on the barren
common, or in the lonely forest, were quite as
much calculated to attract " the great Lion who
goeth about," as to scare him away. But one short
story which I heard, so fully shows the truth of
this, that I cannot help inserting it in this place,
giving it, as nearly as I can, in the very words of
the narrator.

A CAMP MEETING. 205
" When T first come to live at P  , there
was a gal in the town, named Susan N  . She
was rose Annapolis way, and was one of the
sweetest lookin creturs the sun ever shone on.
There was a feller courtin her at that time, by
the name of Xerxes F  , the son of a nigger
driver, as used to be, but who had realized a
pretty smart sum down Philadelphy yonder. I
don't know how it was, but I suppose Soke's
mother suspected the yoimker was arter no good,
for, arter a little while, she forbad him in the
house, kno^win that Sukey, who was oncommon
dootiful to be sure, 'd never dream of harin a
stolen meetin with her lover, arter her mother
had told him to clear. Well, things go on in this
way for some distance, Suk growin thinner and
thinner, and Xerk (who was most incomparable
smart), makin pretend to bitch hisself on to the
smashers and juleps, and be drinkin hisself dead
for love.
" WeU, one day, by some chance or other, they
meet somewheres, and Xerk, he says to her, says
he, ' Suk,' says he ' hav you forgotten me,' says
he, 'No,' says she, a tear bedimmin her eye,
' but you know the location of matters' says she,
'well,' he says, says he 'there'll be a Camp-
meetin' up Constantinople way to-morrow' says
he, ' I have a somethin I must say to you, and
must say, and can't say here. Are you smart ?'

206 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
says he, ' Mother doe'nt attend meetins' she says,
fixing her eyes etamally on the ground, and half-
wishin that her mother did. ' WeU, but your
uncle Hiram does' says he, ' you make pretend
you want to see one, one day. The old'un '11
never suspect's it's to meet me.' Suk consented,
and wuss for her. Yes, sir. Wuss, a-deal, sir.
Yes, sir.
" Well, Suk, she goes up with her uncle Hiram,
and uncle Hiram, arter listenin to two discoorses,
he falls asleep in his tent, bein an everlastin un
wieldy old boss as he is. Sukey stroUs out, and
ranges herself under a partickler pulpit, where
she was to look out for Xerk, and, sure enough,
there he come, true to time, as a engine. Well,
he hadn't had time to speak any to her, when an
old woman, standin by, was took oncommon bad,
shriekin out, and risin up her arms, and runnin
for'ard Hke a wounded buffaler. Suk, who was
natr'ally kind, goes up and asks ' What's the
matter?' 'She's took with the sperrit' says a
thin black-coated chap, standin by. 'No, it's
with the spasmodics' says another. Meanwhile,
the old woman, who had been hoUerin and hol-
lerin herself quite faint, drops upon Susan's
shoulder, aU of a fiop, and cries out 'Oh, see
me home, my young friend ! ' Yes, sir.
" Yes, sir. Well, sir. Susan sees her to her
tent, which is located a tall distance off, and at

A CAMP MEETING. 207
the extreme of all the others. ' Oh run for a
doctor, do,' cries the woman sinkin on a bench.
' Where, where am I to look for one ? ' cries
Susan. ' Oh straight along that path,' cries the
woman, pointia to a narrow path afore the tent,
which led through the wood. ' You go straight
on, for about a quarter of a mile, and the doc
tor's house stands just at the coniine of the wood.
Make an enquerry for him at the door, and he'll
come on sHck and slap' says she.
" Well, Susan ran on, never thinking she was
alone, and it was night, and what's more, from
that day to this, she's never run back again, nei
ther. No, sir. Two or three days arterwards,
they found her body lyin in a re-tired part,
bearin the appearance — as the surgeon said — of
harin suicided herself. This was proved, by some
words she writ on a piece of paper afore doin the
deed, which were these — She'd had a good raisin,
and knew how to write, did Sue. ' Let not a
breath of suspicion attach to any other indiridual.
I perish, self-immolated.' WeU, suspicion did,
somehows, fix on to Hiram, that he had been the
cause of aU. However, not the twinklin of a
pig's whisper ever come from him on the pint.
He was mum as a dead Bar.
" However, some years arterwards, a difficulty
occurrin between him and Otis K  , he was
slugged in the left side ; there now. Afore dyin.

208 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
he confessed that it was all smartly fixed between
him and the old woman, who had agreed to faU ill.
He was posted in the wood to meet Susan, and,
I suppose, sir, you can guess the rest. When she
fled from him, its plain her noble sperrit rose in
her the thought of suicide, which she did, poor
thing, to the ' sorrow of a numerous circle' as
the chaps say in the Newspaper Advertisements.
Yes, sir. Yes, sir ? Yes, sir."
By this time, I started for my homeward ride ;
and one or two of the small hours had aheady
chinked from the churches, when, yielding up
Buena Vesta to a drowsy ostler, I sought my own
hot and sleep-dispeUing chamber.

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 209

SLAVES AND SLAVERY.

A gentleman, one day, offering to drive me to
a slave-market, I very readily fell in with his
proposal. Among the many reasons which had
induced me to part ¦with my cat, to shut up my
chambers, and to brave the perils of the Atlantic,
was the desire which I felt to see men and women
exposed for sale, and knocked down to the highest
bidder. I had heard of human beings being sub
mitted to the pinch and the dig of a critical thumb
and forefinger, in the same way that our farmers
test the condition of a horse or a cow. I had
read "elegant extracts" from the poetry of an
American Robins, and I wished to hear them from
the lips of the bard himself. It is the same
morbid feehng which drives some people to wit
ness executions ; the desire of experiencing some
thing novel and startling, and different from all
former sensations, in the same way that I should
like, just for once in my Hfe-time, to be present
at a battle, or to faU in love.
Unfortunately, I could not hope to see a re
gular auction nearer than Richmond, a place
p

210 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
which it was too hot to think of visiting just now.
The building where I was to be taken, was not so
much a slave-market, as a gaol ; being used to con
fine runaways in, and as a temporary house of
detention for slaves purchased to go south, where
they might be lodged until an opportunity oc
curred of marching them off, or shipping them off,
to their destination. In other respects, it by no
means resembled the idea which is usually con
jured up by the word Gaol, being, indeed, like a
country-school rather than anything else. It was
a white house, with a garden on one side, and a
sort of open yard, like a play-ground, on the
other, which yard was surrounded by a wooden
pahsade of no great height. This is the place for
exercise. A row of wooden buildings, attached to
the house, contained the sleeping-rooms of the
black inmates, from an opening in which one or
two curly heads looked down upon us, as we
drove up.
The master of the house, we found, was absent,
haring driven over to a neighbouring to^wn to in
spect a substantial carpenter who was on sale.
We were, however, at liberty to go over the build
ing, which, to my mortification, I hea»rd was very
nearly empty. A great clearing out had taken
place only a few days before, when sixty-five of
its inmates had been packed off to New Orleans,
to take advantage, I beheve, of a turn of the

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 211
market. There were only one or two left, but
these we might examine if we chose. The negro
boy (himself a slave) who showed us over the
place, and who acted as overseer and turnkey,
asked whether we came to look for anything, and
what sort of article it was we wanted ? My friend
repHed, nothing at present, but that we might, by
and by, have occasion for a good plain cook. The
boy shook his head, and answered, that there was
nothing of that sort on riew just now, but that he
knew where it was to be found, not very far off,
being parted 'with for no fault, and likely to go a
remarkable bargain.
We went up to the sleeping apartments, which
consisted of the four bare walls, with wooden
benches, bedding of a coarse description strewn
upon the floor, and windows without any glass in
them. In the kitchen below, assisting in tbe pre
paration of supper, was a young mulatto woman,
extremely good-looking, " whom," said my friend,
" several young farmers of my acquaintance have
been to look at, for she is kept to be sold for that
purpose. But the price is too high. Mary !" he
continued, addressing her, "have they lowered
you at aU ?"
" I don't know, rir."
" Ah ! they must take fifty dollars off you be
fore ever you'U go. That's a fact."
I took occasion to ask the boy, how the slaves

212 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
had been transmitted to the South, whether by
land or by sea? He replied. By land. They
travelled in vehicles, with overseers or drivers
appointed over them, and were made to get out
and walk on the road by turns. The journey,
though it took a longer time to accompUsh in this
way, might be done much more cheaply, and there
was this further advantage, that the slaves arrived
in good condition, so that they could be taken into
the market forthwith. When forwarded in saU
ing vessels, they were apt to come to land very
much knocked about by the rough sea-weather ;
and the delay of a few days, before they were
sufficiently righted to be brought to the hammer,
with profit to their owner, would, of course, form
an additional item of expenditure. I was glad to
hear one thing, that a strong feeling was growing
up against separating husband and wife. " The
very religious people," said my friend to me,
" won't sell the one without the other." This
feeHng — an idle prejudice, very likely — may work
its way down, and down, until, at last, it reaches
those who have the care of framing our Poor Laws.
" WeU, how any man can be a slave-holder is a
puzzle to me," thought I to myself, as I walked
out of -the house. This reflection was only in
accordance with that well-known Britannic pre
judice, which is unable to comprehend how any
nation, under any circumstances, can act m a

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 213
different manner from that in which the British
act, or adopt any institutions other than the in
stitutions of the Britons. Whenever, in the pre
ceding pages, I have had occasion to speak of the
difference between the blacks and the whites, I
have been unable to shake off this prejudice. A
Httle reflection will, however, set the matter in a
different point of riew.
Slavery, in the opinion of the English, has long
formed the one great standing subject of com
plaint against America. It has furnished the
materials for hundreds of newspaper columns ; it
has been dragged forcibly into reviews of Ame
rican pubhcations; it has been bandyed from
mouth to mouth, at rehgious meetings. Men
have thought it strange, that even in the Northern
States of the Union, where slavery has been
aboHshed, the black should not enjoy the same
privheges as the white man. It has been deemed
odious and incomprehensible that the Spartan
should refuse to admit his Helot into the same
seats at the theatre, the same omnibuses, the same
pews at church. It has been asked why a white
lady should not walk do^wn the streets arm in arm
with a black gentleman of education ; why a black
clergyman should not preach to a white congrega
tion ; why, there should be aU these distinctions
on account of a mere difference of colour ?
But — I speak now of the Northern States —

214 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Exeter Hall Philanthropists, whose arms saw the
air to the tune of such arguments as these, should
recollect that their experience of the negro race
is confined to some half dozen specimens, who,
victims of tyranny by profession, come over to ex
patiate upon the sufferings of their people. These
afflicted men, sipping their wine with ease and
grace, and sitting at table with faultless black
clothes and sno^wy neckcloths, form the Hons of
clerical dinner parties in the country, and afford
actual experience that it is not only quite pos
sible, but, indeed, highly agreeable, to welcome a
negro as a friend and a brother. Those, however,
who — perhaps profanely — pause before condemn
ing the slave-holder to hell, and his country to
destruction, may ¦wish to find some other cause
than the desperate sinfulness of the people of
New York and Philadelphia, to account for the
low estimation in which the black are held by the
white population of the Free States.
That cause is to be sought for no further than
in the plain and simple fact, that the negro is an
inferior race, whose difference of colour forms
their least striking distinction from the rest of
mankind. There are physical pecuHarities con
nected •with this race, which it would be impossible
to enter upon, but which sufficiently explain the
broad line of demarcation everywhere established
between them and the whites. The Englishman

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 215
ofthe West Indies shares in the prejudices of the
American; I have known a very excellent and
accomphshed lady, who had a slight tinge of
African blood, to be refused admission into their
society, by the Enghshwomen of Calcutta. Let
but two miUions of negroes emigrate to Old Eng
land, and, in less than a quarter of a century, the
feeling there wUl be the same as it is now in New
England. The best men wUl share in it. I need
hardly call attention to the fact, that the clergy
of the Established Church were the most eager
and enthusiastic upholders of slavery in the West
Indies. They clung to it, when every one else
had abandoned it ; and, for once, (considering the
present state of those islands) appear, by so doing,
to have advocated a ¦wise and humane course.
With regard to the Slave States, I apprehend
the matter to stand thus. No man can uphold
slavery in the abstract ; which means to say, that
if society could be reduced to its first elements,
and aU disturbing causes — such as human frailty,
the errors of our forefathers, and the like — could
be left out of account, such an institution as
slavery would be manifestly tyrannical and wrong.
In this opinion, all men, on both sides of the
Atlantic, perfectly coincide. When viewed in
this Hght, no one can argue for the power of the
Czar, who exercises, over milhons of his fellow-
creatures, a dominion for which he has paid no-

216 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
thing, and for which they receive no equivalent.
And there have not been wanting persons, who
have affirmed pretty much the same thing of the
principle of buying and selling Church Hvings,
and putting up a cure of souls to the highest
bidder, which they have stigmatized as being far
more absurd and impious than buying and selHng
a human creature. It is true, that these kind of
people have hitherto usuaUy found their way into
prison, and are even now — most justly — thrust
forth from the pale of respectable society. I only
quote them to show, that even the most perfect
and time-hallowed of institutions may be charged
by some with being " wrong in the abstract."
• But the question arises, whether these kind of
institutions, when once established, are any longer
capable of being treated abstractedly, or whether
they do not involve certain other considerations,
which have grown up with them, or which have
sprung from them, or from which they them
selves have sprung. Can we ever hope to reduce
that astounding problem. Society, into its primi
tive elements, and to inquire whether the co
efficient Slavery is to be introduced or not ? Or,
rather, have we not got into that tangled and per
plexing state, that everything props up something
else, as in an equation ; and to strike out an in
stitution, on one side, involves the striking out of
an institution (or of half-a-dozen), on the other ?

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 217
The question no longer is — Ought slaves to be
brought here at aU ? but — Now that they have
been brought, what is to be done with them ?
To which the abolitionist and the Englishman —
who, knovring nothing about the matter, and
having nothing to win or lose either way, is
beautifully humane — have their usual answer cut
and dried — " Give them up, give them up ! Set
them all free. It is true that many private in
diriduals -will lose heavily ; but what is that, when
we consider the curse which will be removed from
the land ? What is so wrong in itself, never can
be defended on the ground of expediency. No
circumstances ever can arise, in which man is en
titled to a property in his feUow-man. Nor can
the blessing of Providence rest upon a nation,
which countenances, even in thought, such a
notion. Give them up, my dear friends, give
them up !"
To which the slave-holder might, with some
show of justice, reply, " The course which you
recommend would be found to be neither just, nor
advantageous, nor, in the long run, humane. To
give their hberty to the two millions of Helots,
who are now cultivating our soil, would be to
plunge the finest states of the Union into irre
trievable ruin, and to entail upon the peaceful
citizens all the horrors of anarchy and bloodshed.
The planter, being himself a ruined man, would

218 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
be unable to find these " freedmen" any employ
ment ; even if he could do so, it is questionable
whether their gratuitous labour would be worth
securing. I say this, looking at the West India
Islands, where the negro is in an infinitely more
debased and degraded state since his emancipation
than he was before it, and where the finest estates
are going to ruin, from the sheer inability of the
planter to make his free blacks work.
" I affirm that the Southem States cannot be
cultivated except by negro labour; and, if this
labour is to be obtained on no other terms than
the bondage of the labourer, it seems doubtful
how far we are justified in converting smiling
prorinces into a howling ¦wilderness, for tbe mere
purpose of gratifying a mock sentimentality,
which has been found to entail the most frightful
consequences elsewhere. It seems doubtful how
far we can be called upon to do anything more,
than to pass stringent laws for the protection of
the slave, against being maltreated or overworked,
and this, we think, ought to be done. It is,
unquestionably, for the happiness of the slave
to continue as he is. For, be it remembered,
that the difference between the American bond-
labourer and the EngHsh free-labourer is, for the
most part, in theory. The negro does not refine ;
he is not a student of Cicero ; he is unacquainted
with the history of the Greeks. What he wants

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 219
is to be well fed and weU treated, which, in nine
eases out of ten, (if it were only for the owner's
interest) he vrill be found to be. Well fed and
well treated, he is in an incomparably better
position than the Dorsetshire labourer, or the Irish
peasant, who, on their six shillings a week, or in
their mud-hovel, can boast of their freedom, if
they please — and starve !
"You, Mr. Englishman, who have so much to
say on this subject, and are so loud in your out
cries and reproaches, should be the very last
to say a word, when you cast your eyes back
upon what is going on in your own country.
How many monstrous and obsolete laws ! how
many absurd customs ! how many partial enact
ments ! how many vexatious imposts and mono
polies ! how many sinecures ! how many loath
some and revolting cruelties and impieties ! have
been tolerated, and still continue to be tolerated,
on the ground that they involve vested interests !
How long is it since rotten boroughs were en
dured, on the ground that they constituted family
property ? How long were the people forced to
struggle for cheap bread, because the landlords'
rents could not, vrith propriety, be made to come
down ? Why do I at this moment read in the
Times newspaper of an Advowson for sale, good
hunting and shooting in the neighbourhood, the
incumbent in his eighty-eighth year ? Why is

220 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
such a shocking profanity tolerated in a Christian
country ? Why, because it is a vested interest !
You are unwilling to deprive a few noblemen and
gentlemen of the Httle addition made to their
fortunes by the traffic in these " cures of souls."
Now do, my good sir, be a little more reasonable
for the future, and look with a more indulgent
eye upon our failings. You expect that thousands
of us should yield up, not a small addition to our
fortunes, but our all, every farthing we have in
the world — that we should make our homes deso
late, and our children beggars. You expect that
we should calmly subscribe to our own ruin, to
the ruin of our country, and to the ruin of the
poor miserable beings for whose benefit the ab
surd measure purports to be designed. And for
what ? To enable our labourers, at the expense of
substance, to grasp at a shadow ; to confer upon
them a privilege which they are not sufficiently
refined to appreciate, and which the majority of
them would not give you a fig to possess !
"As for you, Mr. Abolitionist, there is no excuse
for you. You know all these things, of which the
Englishman may, possibly, be ignorant. You
know, that in case of the abolition of slavery, you
would yourself be involved, more or less, in the
common ruin. You know, that every time you
shelter a run-a-way »slave, — acknowledging, as
the more moderate of you do, that the institution

SLAVES AND SLAVERY. 221
must be done away with, by degrees, not violently
—you inflict a blow on the prosperity, the well-
being, and the internal tranquUlity of the country.
Acknowledging that what you urge is right in
the abstract, we yet think it so pernicious and
impracticable, imder existing circumstances, that
we are forced to look upon you as our brethren
in England do upon the Chartists — as the public
enemy. Only, that instead of putting up your
head to bleach on the gates of Charleston, or
sending you to toU in chains in a penal settle
ment, as might be your fate, under similar cir
cumstances, in a more enhghtened country, we
prefer the milder expedient of tarring and feather
ing you, as a lesson to you not to sow dissension
amongst our labourers, or to propagate opinions
which, though they may be held by well-meaning
people on the other side of the Atiantic, you
know to be extreme and dangerous here."
In this way, I have heard many Americans talk.
Whether their arguments are based on truth and
justice, I shall not take upon me to say.

ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

MOUNT VERNON.

One is usually so much annoyed, at a foreign
place, in having to be dragged, all day long, at
the tail of so many Lions, in being hurried
through picture-galleries, and goaded into Gothic
ruins, and tortured by popular preachers, that it
is a comfort, every now and then, to find out a
place of attraction for one's-self, to tbe contempla
tion of which, you may devote as much time as
you please, and where no kind friend ¦will be
present to explain things to you. Such were my
feelings when I took my place in the steamer,
bound for Mount Vernon, the resting-place in
life, as in death, of the immortal Washington.
It was the first day of an intended series of ex
cursions. A new and highly-decorated omnibus
had been got up for the occasion, which was
drawn triumphantly down the street, by six snort
ing horses. On the tops of the horses' heads were
fixed white plumes; on the outside of the om
nibus ghttered papier-mache looking paintings of
heads, battles, and houses ; inside, was a merry
party, consisting of about twice the number that

MOUNT VERNON. 223
the omnibus was licensed to carry. And, being
rather in a hurry to reach the steamer, the con
ductor for once entertained us with the English
pastime of inveighng stout gentlemen inside, on the
plea that the vehicle was quite empty ; banging the
door after them ; and letting them find their way
to the top, amidst the execrations of their foes.
Mount Vernon is a quiet country house, on the
banks of the Potomac, very often described, I
daresay, and very weU known. We disembarked
at the base of a woody hill, up which I toiled,
the centre of perspiring faces, blue parasols, and
ancles. When you get to the top, you can turn
to the left, and a short walk takes you to the
tomb of the hero, a kind of brick vault (very
badly kept up), with an iron grating instead of
a door, through which, two stone coffins are
visible. You then retrace your steps, till you
reach the old path again, walk straight on and
find yourself, after a Httle while, in a sort of
farm-yard, wdth turkeys clucking round you, and
old black women, with cotton handkerchiefs
wrapped round their heads, smoking pipes at you,
through ¦windows, as you pass. You open a gate,
turn to the right, and see a tumble-down old
house, with two other smaller houses, or wings, on
either side, each connected with the main-build
ing by a colonnade, the whole forming a sort of
semi-circle. In front of the door, is an oval

224 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
grass-plot, partly surrounded by posts, joined
together with rusty chains. Weeds sprout up on
the gravel ; the walls seem to be decaying away ;
the wood to be mouldering ; you can thrust your
finger through some of the windows, without
doing an injury ; the weather-cock is rusting away
unheeded, like everything else, on the top of the
house. This is Mount Vernon.
Govemment should buy up this place, so dear
to an American heart, and buy it up soon too, oie
the old house will one day tumble down with a
crash. Overwhelming the one or two lean pigs who
seem to be grunting and vegetating beneath its
shadow. They need not be afraid that this act of
munificence may be construed into a dangerous
precedent; they are not likely to have another
Washington in a hurry. Unless, indeed, it be
supposed that the place should be left as it is, in
order to inspire a melancholy feeling in the mind
of the spectator, such a feeling being most con
genial to the contemplation of a hero's or great
man's tomb. But, here again, I should take leave
to differ. The tombs of heroes and great men
(of the Washington school), who have obtained
their reputation by the benefits which they have
conferred upon mankind, should be contemplated
in the light of cheerful, not melancholy objects.
No melancholy thought mingles with our recol
lection of the death of Washington. The grave

MOUNT VERNON. 225
of Napoleon was, I own, well situated among the
dark and dismal rocks of St. Helena. It was a
painful object. The same may be said of the
tombs in our lone churchyards, to the memory of
those, who, having been amiable husbands, dutiful
sons, affectionate parents, faithful friends, kind
to the poor, benevolent to those around them, and
beloved by everybody, have, nevertheless, had
their lot cast in so ungrateful a world, that before
they are well in their tombs, every one has for
gotten them, and there is no one to weep over
them, ¦with the exception of the two cherubim,
upon each of whose dirty marble cheeks hangs
suspended a tear of the same material.
The interior of the house fulfils the promise of
the outside. One end of it is, I believe, still
tenanted by members of the family ; the other is
open to the inspection of visitors. The hall, or
neutral territory, is hung round with old English
pictures of the chase, huntsmen hallooing their
hounds into cover, packs in full cry, and the Hke.
It was pleasing to suppose that these pictures
were brought from England by the ancestors of
Washington, who were emigrants from Northamp
tonshire, one of our greatest sporting counties.
It was equally painful to feel, that they might
just as likely have been purchased, by his de
scendants, a year or two ago, in a shop at New
York or Philadelphia; for, in this way, does
Q

226 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
reality sometimes overturn romance. Washington
was, however, himself a good rider, " the best
horseman of his age," in the words of Jefferson.
Three low dilapidated little rooms, opening out
of the hall, on the left-hand side, and containing
pictures of the General, and various members of
the family, with one or two sea-pieces, and other
engrarings, form the internal attractions of Mount
Vernon. On the side looking down upon the
river, is a broad colonnade, where one loves to
picture the great man as walking about ; holding
converse with his friends ; and standing ¦with his
arms behind his back, or folded on his breast ; Hke
other great men. I was glad to observe, on
taking a seat on one of the wooden benches, that
others of my countrymen had ruminated in the
same charming spot, that Potts, of London, had
been there in 1842, and Wilkinson, of Manches
ter, as late as 1849. And this consideration
induces me to cut short the present chapter. For
when, in a place of this kind, you remark the
sign manual of the British traveller, who, if he
does not find a memorandum book " in the run
ning brooks," generally does in anything that can
be operated on with a pen-knife, you may move on,
feeHng satisfied that pictures of it have aheady
found their way into the print-shops, that scenes
laid there have travelled to London, in the shape
of plays (via Paris, of course), and that G. P. R.
James has written a novel about it.

MOUNT VERNON. 227
Passing the grave, on my way down to the
steamer again, I noticed, that one or two parties
had encamped within sight of it, and were in
dulging in a frugal repast of peaches, cantelopes,
and French wine. In a few moments, the bell
rang, to remind us that time was up. The boat,
making three passages from the shore to the
steamer, conveyed the whole party on board,
nearly every one grasping an enormous bough,
to be converted into a walking stick, by way of
a relic, so that we looked like Birnam Wood re
turning (by water) from Dunsinane.

q2

228 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER.

The utility of the carpet-bag to the traveUer,
has been much commented upon, and has fur
nished the subject of many amusing books and
jokes. Standing open, up to the very moment
of departure, it constitutes a never-failing recep
tacle for such small articles, as may have been
omitted in the packing of the hearier baggage.
Instead of unlocking a box, or unstrapping a
portmanteau, for the dignified admission of an
odd boot or a stray brush, we unceremoniously
kick or plunge the offender into our carpet bag,
which, in reference to what it is sometimes made
to contain, may be compared to the boa-con
strictor on the eve of swallowing a whole horse or
buffalo. The carpet bag has, however, been wom thread
bare in the hands of modern joke-makers ; I
allude to it, only to explain the object of the
present chapter, which may be done in a few
words. Just as in bidding an eternal adieu to
one's old friends, on remoring from England to
Australia, (or from the City to the tVest-End), in
the hurry of the moment, the most common-place

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 229
articles are apt to be forgotten, so also, the
writer, when packing into a volume his reminis
cences of a foreign land, may chance to omit some
of his most important notes, and most interesting
adventures. " In such and such a place were to
come my philosophical observations, superior to
anything in Burke ; in another chapter, I have
unaccountably forgotten my adventure with the
Italian princess ; in my remarks on Washington,
how could I have left out my spirited stanzas to
the capitol ? " By the time these omissions have
occurred to the mind, it is, perhaps, too late to
remedy the evil. The early chapters, by passing
through the press, may be said to be strapped
down, padlocked, and corded. What then are to
become of the observations superior to Burke?
the fabrications about the Italian princess ? the
stanzas to the capitol? Under these circum
stances, I have taken the liberty of benefiting
mankind— a Hberty generally more severely re
sented than any other which can be taken with
them — by the invention of the " Carpet-bag Chap
ter." This chapter, occurring at or near the end of
every book of travels, will furnish a safe recep
tacle for all facts, observations, statistics, adven
tures — and even fabrications — which have been
omitted to be mentioned in the proper chapter, or
which have no particular chapter to which they
can be referred. I shaU not take out a patent

230 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
for this invention. Nor shall I forward it to the
Great 'Exhibition. AU that I require is, that
every Englishman and EngHsh woman, writing a
tour, shall first present me with a penny ; a con
tribution, individually, contemptible, but which,
collectively, would place me in easy circum
stances for life.
One of tbe national features of America which
has not received sufficient attention from tourists,
but which, I think, would be patent to the most
cursory observation, is the marked superiority of
the women over the men. Let me not be misun
derstood by those who would reply (perhaps ¦with
justice) that the women are superior to the men, aU
the world over. What I mean to say is, that, in
the United States, the difference between the two
sexes in point of manners, breeding, address, and
so forth, is more palpable than in any other
country; that while the men are not, in these
respects, to be placed on a level ¦with the men of
Europe (though, in other respects, they may, of
course, excel them), the women, on the other
hand, are by no means open to the charge of rude
vulgarity and want of manners, which is brought
against all Americans generally, and which, to tell
the truth, I have sometimes thought not wholly
inapplicable to the men.
"You meet a fellow in the streets," said an
Englishman, settled in the United States, to me.

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 231
" You meet General A., or Judge B., or Doctor C,
a dirty, chewing rascal, whom, in London, you
would be ashamed to talk to, and he asks you to
his house, to meet his ¦wife and family. You go,
with a sad foreboding of the disagreeable evening
which you are about to spend. To your sur
prise, you find in Mrs. and the Miss A.'s or B.'s
perfect ladies." My own observation, cursory, as
it of course was, tended to the same result. On
the very first Sunday that I spent in America,
and whUe I still looked on the objects around me
through my English-coloured spectacles, as it
were, I was surprised to see so many stylish and
elegant women handed out of their pews, at church,
by persons who, at that time, appeared to me to be
poHcemen in plain clothes, or attorney's clerks in
their Sunday costumes, but who were, in reality,
the husbands and brothers of these ladies.
The reason clearly is, that, in the United States,
nearly every man is engaged in business ; and
men of business, though undoubtedly forming a
far more useful class of the community than men
of wealth and pleasure, are not celebrated, in any
country, as models of taste and manners. There
are none of that highly aristocratic and idle class,
whom some consider anything but a blessing, but
who, as some compensation for their idleness
(smaU as such a compensation must be) undoubt
edly furnish a standard of refined elegance, the

ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
contemplation of which elevates, proportionately,
the manners and the taste of the middling classes.
Every male spends the greater part of his day at
his office, or in his store. The women, on the
other hand, not being more employed than the
women of Europe, find time to observe the decen
cies, and even to adopt some of the elegancies,
of life.
Another circumstance which particularly struck
me during my short tour, was the difference which
I thought I could trace between those who had
visited Europe, and those who had remained, all
their Hves, at home. I do not mean that this differ
ence consisted merely in the acquisition of certain
facts and experiences, which even the traveUed
dunce must find some difficulty in excluding from
his understanding ; I think it was discernible in the
matters of dress and demeanour, and even in the
tone of voice. It appears to me, that on glancing
down a ball-room, or a party dining at a hotel, or
a railway car, I could pick out from the rest such
as had spent any length of time in Europe. My
little experience goes to show that they would be
more clean, more quiet and subdued, less in a
hurry. But five minutes' conversation will, in
most cases, show whether an American has been
in England. Nothing, indeed, can be more asto
nishing than the ignorance which most Americans
display on the subject of our institutions (except

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 233
it be the ignorance which we display on the sub
ject of theirs.) Laying it down, as a comfortable
axiom, that the whole of Europe is falling to
pieces, they put us in the same category with
France, Spain, Italy, and Austria, and affect to
look upon our Government, with the same feelings
that we' regard the successive constitutions of Re-
pubhcan France. They are surprised, on coming
over, to find Great Britain in a state of prosperity
such as she has never before attained to ;* a people
who (considering tbe immense difficulties they
have to contend with) are more energetic than
themselves ; cities more bustling and active than
their o^wn ; a constitution under which the per
fection of human Hberty is enjoyed. They, con
sequently, go back with very different notions of
England and the English, to those which they had
gathered from the New York Herald and the New
York Tribune.
I should say that there would, ere long, be a
decided accent prevalent in America, in the same
way that there are Scotch, Irish, Welsh, York-
* The account recently published by M. de Lamartine,
of his ¦risit to this country, should con-vince every sensible
American, who reads it, that England has, ¦within the last
twenty years, made more progress than any other nation
on the surface of the globe — scarcely excepting even the
Americans themselves, with all the incalculable advantages
attendant upon their being a new country, being almost
free fi-om national debt, &c.

234 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
shire, Devonshire, and even Hampshire and Hert
fordshire accents. It would be strange, indeed,
if such were not the case. The fashion is coming
very much into vogue, too, of pronouncing words
as they are written, the converse of the mode in
culcated by Phonographers, of writing words as
they are pronounced. Thus : — Advertisement,
Ymgine, Enquiry, A^ational, etc. In the case of a
foreign, but especially a Greek or Latin, word,
an opposite rule would appear to hold good —
Athenaeum, Museum, Lyceum, and that class of
terminations, being invariably pronounced Athe-
nmm, Musmm, Lycium, etc. " It is to me,
Mr. Chairman, a terra incognita." " The two
honourable gentlemen are Arcades ambo." " Faith
my beloved brethren, is the marrow, the sub-
sistance, the pabulum of the soul." These false
quantities are constantly heard from the mouths
of professional and educated men. Their method
of expressing themselves is, however — leaving out
of account a certain turgidity and florid air in the
turns of the sentences — remarkably pure ; I am
speaking of the educated classes. One mode of
expression, which, I think, might undergo revi
sion, is the habit of interlarding a story with
" says I" and " says he." This, in England, is
very judiciously looked upon as a vulgarism ;
in America, it is the first thing that a stranger,
admitted into decent society, would notice. I

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 235
have heard it used in relating a narrative, not only
by ladies, but by some of the very first and most
able men in the country ; by one, indeed, who is
usuaUy looked upon as the ablest and most highly
inteUectual man in the United States. " The
Judge came to me, and he says, ' Mr. W.,' says
he, ' What do you think of this affair ?' says he.
' Judge,' says I, ' the truth is,' says I, and so on.
There are one or two other phrases, which, confined
to the lower classes here, have been naturahzed
among the upper classes in America, but this
is decidedly the most universally prevalent and
striking. Amongst the many pleasing whimsicalities of
the British Government, which we pay to enjoy,
the method of regulating the salary of Foreign
Ministers, has generally been looked upon as one
ofthe most truly humourous performances of that
talented corps. On residing some little time at
Washington, and becoming acquainted with the
mode of life there, my sense of this joke was much
heightened. I saw six or seven thousand pounds
paid annually, to support the dignity of England
in a Capital, where the Chief . Magistrate receives
five thousand, and the principal Secretaries of
State only about a thousand pounds a-piece. Is
it by any means essential to the dignity or pro
sperity of this country, that its ambassador should
be placed in a situation to expend, or to save, five

236 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
times as much as the greatest officers of the land
in which he resides ? This system of striking
awe into foreign nations, by means of our exor
bitant salaries, will not, on the whole, prove a
very efficacious one. Weighing upon the backs
of the people at home, it may, perhaps, only shake
the sides of tbe people abroad, who may, for what
I know, grin occasionally, at the sight of the im
poverished peers, and poor cabinet relatives, who
have left their country for their own, rather than
their country's good. Tbe best part of the joke,
in this case, is that for years before the recent
appointment of the present very able Minister, the
representative of English dignity was a totally
invisible object, one of those who, like the ad
venturers in the fairy tales, became inrisible to
men by putting on a cap — in the present case, I
allude to a night-cap — the snoozing recipient of
an extravagant salary, who never rose from his bed
till nightfall. This is perfectly well known to
(and laughed at by) every one in Washington.
As this little book proudly rindicates for itself
the character of being perfectly superficial, and
of containing nothing that is either useful, on the
one hand, or philosophical on the other, a discus
sion of the advantages and disadvantages of Re
publican Governments would be out of place here.
One of the evils attendant on Repubhcan insti
tutions I cannot, however, help noticing. I aUude

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 237
to Republicanism in families. I have more than
once heard this made the subject of lament by
American mothers, and my own passing observa
tions tended to furnish me with sufficient reasons
for the complaint. Indeed, judging from proba-
bihties, and without any direct evidence on the
subject, I think one would be led to conclude
that the authority of a parent over his child (as
well as of a master over his servant) would be less
strongly defined in America than in England. It
appears to me that the same form of Government
which the. spirit of a people requires, as most suit
able to its national prosperity, will be found to
prevaU, more or less, in each of the individual
famihes which, taken collectively, form that
people. I can imagine that the Russian father of
a family is an autocrat, marrying off his daughter,
as he would slaughter his pig, by a sort of private
ukase. In England, the head of a family is a
constitutional monarch, and (to draw the com
parison stiU closer) the Salic law not having .been
admitted into our public codes, has been expunged
from our private codes, as well. A woman mounts
the throne quite as often as a man. In France,
I have always remarked that any one was at the
head of the family, who could get there. Some
times it is Madame, sometimes Monsieur, some
times M. VAbbe, not unfrequently M. le Mar
quis, Monsieur's friend, who is all powerful in the

238 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
house, who undertakes the management of Mon
sieur's affairs, and is a father to Monsieur's chil
dren. Agreeably to this really ingenious theory, (war
ranted equal to anything of Carlyle's) we should
expect to find in the American father of a family
nothing more than a kind of president or governor,
enjoying delegated rights. This, I am told, is
the case. The authority of a father over his son,
or of a mother over her daughter — in the affair of
marriage, for instance — would be infinitely less,
on the other side of the Atlantic, than here. In
the case of a serious quarrel occurring, a young
man would have little to fear from his parent.
There is no such thing as disinheriting ; he must
come in for his share of the property, whether he
be a dutiful or undutiful son, whether his conduct
has been good, bad, or indifferent.
With regard to the mutual relations of master
and servant, in the United States, that is a subject
which has frequently furnished a laugh to Euro
pean travellers. I do not see, however, that pro-
rided what you require to be done is done, the
fact of your servant remarking to you, as you pass
him on the stairs, that it is a fine day, should
strike you as an unwarrantable liberty. Serrice
is a social contract, by which one man sells his
labour, and the other purchases it. I do not see
why an article should always be held to be implied

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 239
in that contract, by virtue of which the seller is
to fawn, and truckle, and lick the ground, in front
of the purchaser. The powdered and disfigured
unfortunates, who stand panting at the doors in
Grosvenor Square, address the footboy with the
same ridiculous haughtiness that their mistress
exhibits towards them, and the fountain head of
that stream of vice and folly which pours through
the kitchen, washing away with it honesty and
integrity, temperance and chastity, is very often
to be traced to the drawing-room and the boudoir.
As I am tumbling into this chapter, the stray
notes and observations for which there is no room
elsewhere, I cannot help adverting to a point
which has been noticed by every traveller — 1
mean the painful and haggard expression of al
most every countenance that you meet in the
United States. This observation is more strongly
riveted upon my mind than any other that I made,
and I can unhesitatingly affirm that Mr. Dickens,
and other writers, in describing this peculiar trait,
have fallen short, very far short, of the reality.
Such a collection of wrinkled, miserable, sallow
faces as force themselves upon your attention, as
you walk down the streets, or sit in one of the
long railway cars, or pace the deck of a steamer,
it would be impossible to describe. Joylessness
appears to be an essential ingredient in the Ame
rican character. The people are too busy to

240 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
laugh. It may be, indeed, that beneath those
fearful masks lurk happy hearts and jovial spirits.
If such be the case, my Lavater goes to the second
hand book-stall. If Mr. Washington Irving's
theory could be established, that a people are
grave and serious in proportion as they are free,
the Americans will only have to show their faces,
to convince every other nation that they enjoy
the perfection of human liberty. Great Heavens !
I would rather sit down ¦with a party of skeletons,
or comic actors, or gentlemen suffering under
tic-douloureux, or " Evangelical " people, or any
other pre-eminently respectable, but particularly
lugubrious, companions.
There are two transatlantic institutions which
deserve a word of notice. One is the institution
of Ice, whereby every hotel and boarding-house,
do^wn to the lowest tavern in the bye streets, is
plentifully supplied with that delightful article.
I need hardly dwell upon the good sense and good
taste of this. Leaving out of the question the
case of wines and other beverages, I hold that a
glass of iced water, or water with three or four
lumps of ice floating about in it, raised to the
parched lips, in the month of July or August, is a
beverage as essentially different from un-iced water,
as port is from sherry, or champagne from claret.
Now, in London, in the height of the dog days,
when I rush into some respectable looking hotel

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 241
to refresh myself after a long walk, and call for
half a pint of sherry, or something of ,that sort,
what is the result ? A small decanter is brought to
me, containing a hot oily fluid of a yellow colour,
with the dismembered Hmbs of flies, floating, very
likely, on its peppery surface. It has been
standing in this state, for some days, in the bar, ,
beside the withered bar-maid, and has become
impregnated ¦with an atmosphere of 90° Fahren
heit. A violent effort of the imagination presents
this highly frightful compound to me in tbe light
of Sherry, or (if a little vinegar has got into it
by mistake), Madeira. I call out, however, to
the waiter for " ice," which may make the wine
drinkable. He looks at me, first with surprise,
then with tender commiseration — ^he does not
think they have such a thing. He goes and con
sults another waiter, however, and the two wait
ers, after comparing greasy faces, up in a comer
together, for a few minutes, emerge to deliver the
result of their dehberations. There is ice some
where, but they don't exactly know where, and as
it is never asked for, except at dinner parties,
Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones has got the key of the
place where it is kept, and this Smith or Jones
happens to be out. The fact of the matter is,
that ice is a luxury unknown to the middling
classes in this country. It may be said, indeed,
that there is considerable difficulty in procuring
R

242 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
it, but this argument will not hold good, when we
look at the case of New Orleans, where the diffi
culty is very much greater, and ice is to be seen,
throughout the whole of summer, in every hotel
and private house.
Another institution, not originally invented in
America, but which in that favored land has been
carried to a pitch of science and refinement which
I have never seen equalled elsewhere, is the in
stitution, whereby, in eating, the knife is made to
supply the place of the fork. This habit, the-
sure sign of an excessively vulgar and ill-bred
person, on this side of the Atlantic, is, on the
other side, adopted by all classes of men with a
degree of fervour and devotion, which, in a better •
cause, would be absolutely sublime. At two or
three dinner parties to which I had the honour of
receiving inritations, at Washington, and where
the guests assembled weie, ¦with scarcely any
exception, senators and members of the Govern
ment, I remarked, ¦with unutterable feehngs, that
all my distinguished friends plunged into their
mouths enormous wedges of meat and mounds of
vegetable, perched on the ends of their knives.
To be sure, one felt so certain that they were
weU accustomed to this kind of jugglery, that
there was Httle apprehension of their cutting
themselves; at the same time, the habit is not
pleasant. It may appear ridiculous to notice so

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 243
trifling a circumstance in a book ; but, viewed in
its proper light, the institution is by no means a
trifling one. The man who commences by so far
disregarding social prejudices as to eat with his
knife, may go a little further ; he may turn round
in Ms chair and spit, during the progress of the
repast. He may go a little further still, and look
upon soap as a glittering frivolity, and upon
washing his hands as a base surrender of the
dignity of man. Yet another step in his onward
career, and he comes in, perfuming the room with
the odour of chewed tobacco, and disgusting his
neighbours with the streams of liquid juice,
which intersect each other on the yellow sur
face of his shirt. All these Httle " trifles" will
mount up- into an aggregate, which it will be ex
cessively disagreeable to sit next to, or to converse
with. AUowing, as I do with all my heart, that
the Americans are a great nation— nay, admit
ting, for the sake of argument, that they are the
greatest in the world — that cannot alter my flrm
conviction, derived from my own and every other
Englishman's experience, that they are, in the
expressive words of Mr. Dickens, "very dirty
feeders.'' In adverting, however, to the absence of re
finement, so clearly discernible in American men,
it would be unpardonable to omit one considera
tion, which has not been sufficiently taken into
r2

244 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
account by English travellers. The Government
of the United States is a popular Government,
their institutions are popular institutions, the
spirit which presides over the manners and cus
toms of private life, is a spirit springing directly
from the masses, and which looks to the welfare
of the masses, as its sole and legitimate end and
object. If, then, there be wanting that highly
refined and polished class of gentlemen, which is
to be found in England, on the other hand, you
would search in vain for anything corresponding
to the semi-barbarian class of peasants, that some of
our counties exhibit. Men are more upon a level ;
if there be very few who cultivate the graces of
external deportment, on the other hand, (to their
lasting glory, be it said), there are very few that-
cannot read and write. And while the EngHsh
traveller is fully justified in enjoying a good-
humoured laugh at their neglect of the forms and
decencies of life, an American traveller would be
equally entitled to dwell upon our shortcomings,
which, if not so ludicrous in their nature, are,
perhaps, after all, more disastrous in their effects.
The only difference would be in the result. Whilst
the British Lion would snore contentedly (or, stiU
better, rouse himself to effect some improvement,)
under the influence of their remarks, the feathers
of the American Eagle are ruffled by tbe slightest
breath of censure. Such a touchy people surely

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 245
never existed. When they have accomplished
something of which they can reasonably be proud,
this absurd thin-skinnedness will be no longer
discernible. Talking of the touchiness displayed by our
Transatlantic cousins, I may be permitted to ad
vert, once more, ¦with regret, to the circumstance
that the works of Hall, Trollope, Dickens, and
other travellers, are looked upon by them, as
studied and malicious Hbels upon their national
character. I once heard an American, at Wash
ington, make the following remark, "I was in
Cincinnati for six months, and I do not think,
that throughout the whole of that time, I met
with three gentlemen," The New York Hotel, in
New York, has been recommended to me by
another American, on the express ground, that
"it is not frequented by those vulgar Western
people." I have heard, over and over again, at
Philadelphia, and elsewhere, that "the Western
States are inhabited by a fine population, but if
you were to go there with the expectation of
finding many men with gentlemanly manners, you
would be disappointed. Yo'o would meet with
some curious specimens, down there. Sir." Ameri
cans themselves have repeatedly begged me to
wait and go West. "You would be so much
amused at the fellows you would meet with on
the steamers, down there," they have said. And

246 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
yet, when Mr. Dickens, after passing through the
Eastern cities', (the state of society in which, he,
for the most part, eulogises,) comes to exhibit a
good-natured portrait, or even caricature, of some
of these peculiar personages of Ohio and Missouri,
a hundred reriews and newspapers bristle up, to
fling the lie in his teeth. This is very absurd.
Besides which, the Bostonian, or Baltimorean,
who, in speaking of the Down Wester, tells you,
very reasonably, that the same refinement cannot
be expected in a new and unsettled country, as is
to be found in cities of longer standing, (Boston
and Baltimore for example,) should remember
that the very same remark, though in a modified
form, is applicable to the manners of his own city
and state, when compared ¦with those of Europe.
The same touchiness which is exhibited, when
their institutions are spoken of in any terms short
of the inimitable bombast of their own native
orators, is also caUed into play in the case of their
great men. Any one who takes up a collection of
American prose writers, or American poets, wiU
find there, besides the chef d' oeuvres of some very
able persons, a mass of clever, common-place
writing, not a whit superior to what may be seen,
every week and every month, in our magazines and
periodicals. And yet, all these authors (who, in
other countries, would be scarcely authors at all)
are exalted into magnificent geniuses, and are

A CARPET-BAG CHAPTER. 247
extolled as being very Hke (only much superior
to) Byron or Scott. It would be '^ European"
to disbeheve in them. The same remark ap-
pHes to their iUusfrious men, in other walks.
The most amusing instance of this, that I can
lay my hand on, is a passage in the North Ame
rican Review of 1833 or 1834, occurring in a
criticism on " Men and Manners in America," one
of the most able, impartial, and accurate works,
by the way, ever published on the United States.
The author, amongst other places, visited the
House of Representatives, and he gives an
account of a speech which he heard from a
Mr. Tristram Burges. " The ' a Mr. Tristram
Burges' is rather comic," says the North Ame
rican Review, " and brings to mind the ' one
John Milton' of Whitelocke." Now, I appeal to
any English reader of this book ; has he or she
ever heard of this Mr. Tristram Burges ? I con
fess that I never did, in the whole course of my
life, and that I might have fallen, ¦without know
ing it, into the frightful absurdity of speaking of
a Mr. Tristram Burges, and thereby have offended
against propriety as much, as if I had spoken of
a Mr. Shakespeare, or one John Milton.*
* There are many exquisite gems in the oritique above
alluded to. In one place, it accuses the author, of inde
cency, for employing the term " nasty," which he does, in
reference to one of the many American customs, which
thoroughly merit that epithet. In another place, we are

248 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
A carpet-bag is never supposed to be fuU, and,
therefore, the present chapter might be enlarged
into the size of the collected edition of G. P. R.
James's works, without any one having a right to
complain. I shall, however, as the originator of
a great invention, set an example to all future
imitators, of modesty and moderation. Only, let
those who feel disposed to carp at this chapter,
remember that I may be induced, before long, to
go and settle in America, myself, where, turning
down my shirt-collars, and leaving off soap, I shall
decidedly commence life again, as a Genius ; and,
in the character of another Bacon (only much
superior to the original Bacon) or a second Pope
(only much better than the first one), exhibit my
great literary inventions, and inculcate my won
derful and transatlantic opinions, in a form and
with a power, which will for ever set at rest the
mahgnant depreciation of Europe.
told that " he (the author) paid so little attention to the
occasional refreshment of his costume, during his residence
at Bunker's, that his fellow-boarders, if we are rightly in
formed, held a formal meeting on the subject, at which they
parsed a resolution, requesting him to change his linen."
The idea of lugging in an author's personal appearance, into
a review of his book, is thoroughly American. But the
notion of the people at Bunker's calling a meeting, voting
some one into the chair, and passing a formal resolution, to
request a gentleman to change his shirt, beats anything I
have ever heard or read of.

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA. 249

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA.

There is no country in the world which has nobler ideas
imbodied in more worthless shapes. — E. P. Whipple.
(An American author.)
"EngHsh writers on America" is the title to
one of the chapters of the Sketch Book, in which
the author censures, with some justice, the view
which British travellers, at that time, took of the
United States. " While men of philosophical
spirit and cultivated minds," he writes, " have
been sent from England to ransack the poles, to
penetrate the deserts, and to study the manners
and customs of barbarous nations, with which she
can have no permanent intercourse of profit or
pleasure ; it has been left to the broken-down
tradesman, the scheming adventurer, the wander
ing mechanic, the Manchester and Birmingham
agent, to be her oracles respecting America.
From such sources she is content to receive her
information," &c.
These remarks, true as they undoubtedly were
at the time of their publication, would be inap
plicable at the present day. Since the Sketch-

250 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Booh was written, two of our greatest novelists.
Captain Marryatt and Mr. Dickens, several of our
most entertaining writers, among whom may be
noticed Captain Basil Hall, and the author of
"Cyril Thornton" — even lady-travellers, such as
Mrs. Trollope and Mrs. Houstoun — have given
to the world, books on America. These writers
have, for the most part, concurred in the truth of
the accounts, which the broken-dovra. tradesmen,
the scheming adventurers, and the Birmingham
agents, had given before them. Whatever have
been their conclusions on pohtical questions, they
have, at all events, agreed unanimously in one
thing — in laughing at the social manners of the
American people. Some other cause must be
sought, therefore, to account for the represent
ations of these authors, beyond the being " dis
appointed in some unreasonable expectation of
sudden gain," or haring " become arrogant on the
the common boon of civility" — probable reasons,
which might apply very well to the travellers of
1820, but would not hold good, with regard to
those whom I have just mentioned. Might I ven
ture to suggest to Americans the plain and pal
pable solution of the whole enigma. They have
so represented things, because they found them so.
Author after author has agreed in telling Europe
the same story about the United States, simply be
cause the story is true ; we are informed that

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA. 251
such and such things exist on the other side of the
water, because, in fact, they do exist there.
Those who do not admit this solution, must
have recourse to some other, founded on the sup
posed jealousy, mahgnity, or narrow-mindedness,
of British tourists, a character which I think can
be sweepingly applied, neither to them, nor to the
tourists of any other nation. On the contrary, I
firmly beheve that many Englishmen set foot, for
the first time, on American soil, who are deter
mined to be pleased ¦with everything that they see
around them, and who, yet, in a short while, be
come so disgusted at the private habits of the
people, that they retum to their own country,
loring it as they never loved it before. Americans
who have resided for any length of time in Eng
land, feel exactly as Englishmen do, on these sub
jects, and express themselves without reserve. As
for the great bulk, who continue to inhabit their
native country, I know that it is difficult — perhaps
impossible — for them to understand, how the man
ners and customs of their countrymen should be
looked upon by strangers, as grotesque and ridi
culous. We fail to see anything remarkable in an
object which is continually before our eyes ; habit
may even exalt such an object, with all its defects,
into a model to be copied. There are many
anomalies in English society, over the naked ab
surdity of which, custom has thrown a veil.

252 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
Foreigners have the privilege of looking at these
anomalies as they are. And when I notice, that
in the works of French and German traveUers,
the same charges are almost uniformly brought
against England, to wit, the want of inteUigence
and the brutality of our lower classes — the rude
¦way in which the mistakes of foreigners are
laughed at — the absence of taste in public con
structions, dress, &c., — the inordinate devotion to
gain — and so forth ; instead of attributing these re
marks to the mahgnant envy of France and Ger
many, I am led to suppose, from the very fre
quency of their occurrence, and the number of
observers who appear to be struck vrith the same
ideas, that there must be something in them, at
bottom. If Americans would only look at the
question in tho same light, they would soon be
brought to the ineritable conclusion, that there
are certain points in their national character, and,
above all, in their national manners, which are
peculiarly open to ridicule and satire ; and, in
stead of crying down, as libellers, those who, in
succession, introduce these points into their pub
lished observations on the country, they would
quietly set about effecting a reform, in the parti
culars indicated.
At the same time, I am willing to admit that,
in the present position of America, no European
has ever given, or can ever hope to give, an accu-

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA. 253
rate account of what is taking place there. It
is Hke a vast cauldron, containing an infinite
variety of new institutions and new ideas, in a
state of fusion ; until the froth has subsided, we
can scarcely tell what sort of compound their ad
mixture wiU produce. It is like a steam-engine
passing us at the rate of sixty miles an hour, of
which it is impossible to sketch anything more
than the first outline. If I, for instance, were to
attempt to put down on paper anything like an
account of the sensations ¦with which I regarded
America, I should have to write in one and the
same chapter that I consider it, at the same time,
the most subhme and the most ridiculous, the
most appalhng and the most amusing, of all coun
tries. That I looked upon its form of Govern
ment as one of the most perfect in the world ; and
that I thought the House of Representatives to
contain the most dirty ragamuffins that I had
ever seen. That I contemplate, with pleasure,
the probabiHty of its fulfilling a destiny, as glorious
as any nation that has preceded it; and that I
would rather go and Hve in China, than remain
there. That to be an American citizen might
well excite a feeling of pride ; but that I should,
myself, shrink from enjoying the privileges of
American citizenship, with the same instinctive
aversion as would prevent my changing places vrith
a chimney-sweep of poetical aspirations. All these

254 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
seeming paradoxes are reconciled, by referring to
the admirable remark which I have prefixed to the
present chapter: "There is no country in the
world," says Mr. Whipple, " which has nobler
ideas imbodied in more worthless {read ridiculous)
shapes." I believe this ; and, accepting the re
mark, ¦with a certain degree of latitude, I admit
that in the same way as the persons whom you
sit down with at dinner, or shudder on finding
beside you at the theatre, are the "ridiculous
shapes ;" so, also, if you were to search a little
further, you would be at no loss for the " nobler
ideas." I can even allow that some of those very
eccentricities, which most move the wrath of Eng
lishmen, are nothing more than exaggeratioiis of a
principle, originally good ; that the ruffian who,
in a drawing-room or a railway-train, expectorates
upon my boots, does so from a perverted notion
of independence and equality ; and that the lady
whose acquaintance I forfeit, for uttering the
indelicate expressions, " a rump-steak," " the
breast of a fowl," etc., started with being suitably
modest, before she became painfully absurd.
Taking this view of the question, and appre
hending, that until such time as we can see the
whirling and whizzing societies of tbe New World
settled do^wn for awhile, it will be impossible to
take their portraits with any degree of correct
ness, I yet think, that in the daubs which have

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA. 255
been hitherto attempted, the defects of the sub
ject have received a much larger share of attention,
than its beauties. We have been told how every
man speaks through his nose, which is not the case
in Europe ; but we have not been told how every
man is satisfied with the form of Government
under which he Hves, which is, also, not the case
in Europe. We have heard of the rudeness and
uncouth air of the people, when you first accost
them, but not of their kindness and benevolence,
when you are once admitted into their friendship.
These, and similar omissions, must, I fear, be
acknowledged on the part of most " English
writers on America ;" nor on the part of any one
will they be acknowledged, with more readiness,
than on that of the author of a remarkably able
and amusing series of sketches, positively thrown
away at five shiUings, but which shall b.e nameless.
If, however, it be contended, on the other side
of the ocean, that this dwelling upon the " ridi
culous shapes," rather than the "noble ideas,"
is to be attributed to the jealousy, or ill-will, or
narrow-mindedness, of Enghsh tourists, there I
take the liberty to differ. Tbe traveUer who
passes a few months in a country can hope, on his
return, to give httle more than an account of what
has befallen him indiriduaUy, in that country ; he
cannot be supposed to have arrived at a compre
hension of those noble shapes and aerial aspira-

256 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
tions which may lurk behind. If the majority of
persons in the country, through which I am jour
neying, strike me as remarkably short, or mar
vellously tall, or fat as aldermen, or thin as harle
quins ; if all the horses that I see, are white, or,
on the other hand, black ; if every individual whom
I meet, seems to have but one eye, or no hands,
or to be incessantly winking, or sneezing, or spit
ting, or tearing out his nails, or standing on his
head, or chewing tobacco, or to be in any other
way pecuHar, and different from other men, I surely
have a right to mention the circumstance, on my
return home. It may be quite plain to me that
nobody whom I see, is under six feet in height.
There is a palpable fact, and I enter it in my
note-book accordingly, and publish it to the
world, as I am perfectly justified in doing. But
it may not so readily strike me that in the country
which I am visiting, " owing to the admirable
sanitary regulations of government, mortality is
less, by 12 per cent, than in any other country,"
or that, " the national debt is less than that of the
surrounding countries." These facts wiU not ob
trude themselves on my attention, in every bar
room that I enter, or every steam-boat that I
consent to risk my life by travelling in. " Well,
then, you ought not to give an opinion on the
institutions of the country." Certainly not. I
have not done so. I only said that all the men

ENGLISH WRITERS ON AMERICA. 257
that I met were six feet high. You may deny
the fact, but I tell you that I saw them, and I
believe my own eyes.*
I venture, therefore, to affirm that the principal
sin to be laid to the charge of British tourists
is, that they have not stayed in the country long
enough, to outhve their first unfavourable (and,
perhaps, distorted) impressions of it. I am quite
certain that neither malignity, nor jealousy, nor
iU-will, has been suffered to give a tone to their
representations. The fault is not entirely on this
side of the Atlantic. A great or a good man,
who suffers himself to fall into eccentric habits,
can hardly complain, if he be misjudged. What
is true of an indiridual, is true of a nation. And
if, as I believe to be. the case, under an eccentric
exterior, America conceals a generous heart and a
great intellect, if — to use the words of her own
author — she has embodied the noblest ideas in
the most worthless shapes, why — oh, why — should
it not be her effort to correct the faults, which
those who profess to treat only of her external
deportment have a right to notice, but which may
convey a false impression of what is within?
Why should she not rescue her noble ideas from
* These remarks do not, of com-se, apply to works pro
fessing to contain an examination of American Institutions,
but to the hosts of light books (such as the present) which
are continually issiung from the press.

258 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
those worthless shapes, which account for their
remaining unseen, and justify their being mis
represented ?
I am glad to leam that she is making these
efforts, day by day. The Americans of a hundred
years' heUce will look upon some of the customs
of their ancestors, wdth as deep a horror as we do
now. MeanwhUe, I hope I shall not be deemed
presumptuous, for having endeavoured to set in
their true light the causes, which have produced
that unfavorable tone usuaUy noticed in the works
of " English writers on America."

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 259

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD
TRAVEL.

Being unexpectedly recalled to England by a
matter of business, I was compelled to cut short
my stay, as I am now compelled to Cut short my
book. The reader will not, however, be so much
grieved at the latter circumstance, as I was at the
former. When, however, I walked about the streets of
Boston, for the last time, on the morning of my
embarkation, and looked at the black funnel of
the steamer, by the aid of which I could be so
soon transported to my Home, (the word is worthy
of a capital letter,) I could scarcely regret my
sudden recall. I do not think that the certainty
of making some wonderful discovery, or of ex
periencing something startling and strange ; of
finding out a new animal, or a new island; of
being scalped by savage men, or gouged by civi
lized ones; could have induced me, at that mo
ment, to prolong my stay. I am sure that the
same feehngs must arise in everybody's breast,
and that, however much we may hear people talk
s2

260 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
of their tour abroad, the happiest part of that
tour is the moment when they are restored to
their old friends and haunts. The only exception
which suggests itself to my mind is, that of a
gentleman returning with Mr. Daniel Forrester,
as his compagnon de voyage.
It was a pleasant thing, for instance, on leaping
on board, to hear the beloved Scotch accent re
sound on all sides of me ; to be surrounded by
persons distinguished, like myself, for their high
shirt collars and tight pantaloons ; to see rounds
of beef placed every day on the table ; to talk,
once more, about Lords and Dukes ; to find, within
the compass of that vessel, an epitome of all the
delights which one was hastening to ; to be part
of a miniature England, floating upon the sea.
Even when stretched upon one's bed, sick and iU,
it is not wholly disagreeable to be asked by the
stev/ard, whether you would like a glass of " ot
water." The omission of the aspirate, proves that
you have a kind countryman keeping watch be
side you ; and what, at other times, would strike
you as simply ridiculous, becomes, through the
agency of attendant circumstances, absolutely
sublime. It is pleasant, when you are sufficiently re
covered to walk about the deck, to converse with
some of your American fellow-passengers, who
are going to Europe for the first time, and to leam

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 261
what they expect to see, and what is their opinion
of the institutions of England. I remember three
of these gentlemen, with whom I crossed over :
respectable men of business, but by no means
free from certain Transatlantic peculiarities of an
uninriting character: who had determined upon
taking private apartments at the Clarendon. I
rather think they were inclined to be offended,
when I ventured to dissuade them from the idea,
on the ground that the Clarendon is a hotel at
which noblemen, families of wealth, and foreign
princes, with their retinues, are in the habit of
putting up. That, said they, was precisely the
reason why they were going there ; because they
had been informed that it was the best hotel in
London. These gentlemen had, of course, been
in the habit of frequenting the first hotels of
Boston and Philadelphia. It was rather difficult
to explain to them, that there was some degree
of difference between the internal economy of
Mivart's or the Clarendon, and the Tremont or
Revere. The conductors of the two former es
tablishments, will not, perhaps, thank me for
representing them as the most exorbitant of men;
the only means I could adopt to dissuade my
three friends from settling themselves in a manner,
which I am sure they would very soon have found
. unsuited to their comfort, as well as their pocket.
It is pleasant, while you are all sitting at dinner

262 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
in the saloon, to hear a loud cry on deck, to see
the passengers jumping up and hurrying out of
the door, and to be accomodated, in the confusion,
with a sHce of gooseberry pie in your lap. It is
pleasant to be informed that two immense whales
had been seen, but that they have, just at that
precise moment, disappeared. It is pleasant to
stand watching for them, in vain, till on descending
again into the saloon, you are informed that the
dinner has, just at that moment, disappeared, in
the same manner as the whales. I say that these
things are pleasant, and I mean what I say. At
sea, we good-naturedly overlook these Httle contre
temps; and do not expect every thing to go as
smoothly, as in our own well-regulated viUa at
home, with the wife of our bosom sitting before
us, the male and female pledges on either side,
and the footman airing his calves behind. Then,
I have known a drop of gravy accidentaUy per
petrated on the table-cloth, by the iU-fated hus
band, to give rise to such a succession of glances,
as I should think were hardly exhibited in his
presence, before marriage. The same female cen
sor, when on the Atlantic, would witness with
composure, a roast fowl roosting on her husband's
knees, or a highly omamental dab of gra'vy ful
filling the functions of a breast-pin. The heaving
and tossing of the ship, place these little misT
fortunes in the light of natural dispensations,

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 263
which it would be ill-natured to complain of, and
useless to struggle against.
It was pleasant to me (though the reader may
not enjoy similar good-luck) to watch a party,
which comprised, besides miscellaneous parents
and attendants, a young lady and her male cousin.
That young lady must recoUect, and that cousin
must recoUect, how, when in a state of sickness
and misery, I was crouching before the funnel,
and endeavouring to warm my icy hmbs, I left
my situation the moment that I observed them
approaching together, although there was plenty
of room for five or six to stand there. Such an
instance of self-devotion, demands a slight return
of gratitude, and it would be pleasant to hear
that that gratitude had exhibited itself in the
form of a crown-piece, invested in the purchase of
this book. This would be beautiful and touching.
AUow me, disinterestedly, to suggest it.
It is a pleasant thing to catch your first glimpse
of land, even although it be the land of Erin.
Fhst of aU a faint streak, undistinguishable from
a cloud, (and which, probably, is a cloud,) will be
pointed out to you, as a mountain ; in the course
of the next morning, you will find yourself close
to the shore. You gaze at it vrith rapture ; the
Captain with indifference ; the American with in
dignation, as he pulls out his telescope and looks,
through it, for people dying of hunger. The

264 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
only passengers who exhibit any indifference to
the spectacle, are the young lady and her cousin.
They have chosen the precise moment, when every
one is looking in the same direction, to be absent
somewhere, by themselves. The lady-mother dis
covers their absence, and rushes after them. It is
her own fault, however ; why did not she teach
her daughter geography ? That young lady and
her cousin have been looking out for Ireland, for
full half an hour, on the other side of the vessel !
Nor do I think it unpleasant to catch one's first
sight of Liverpool, which, means in other words,
to stand on the . shore ; for, seen from a further
distance, that town is merely a compact surface of
fog. It is, above all things, pleasant to eat your
breakfast at the Hotel. At this house of entertain
ment, there may be a total absence of splendour ;
there may even be the presence of a considerable
degree of dirt. A dark mist presses against the
windows, and bottles up the riew which you might
otherwise obtain from them (no loss). Yellow
prints of fox -hunters decorate the waUs. Every
thing emits that inn-like and tavemous smell,
peculiar to the caravanseras of this island, com
pounded of certain indefinable and musty par
ticles, in which stale cigar-smoke always plays a
more or less conspicuous part. Still, how de
hghtful to be freed from the incessant rattle, from
the splendid discomfort of an American hotel!

i J

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 265
When you come to. think of what you have been
going through, during the last few months, how
ravishing to your senses will be the air of quiet
which breathes around. Even dinginess will have
its charms. The external mist will clear away, to
a considerable extent, before your internal joy, at
finding yourself safe at home again. Take a small
glass of brandy-and-water, (which, after having
been up the whole of the night before, you may
be permitted, for once, to do,) and the mist will
clear away still more. I cannot say from experi
ence how far this theory might be found to be
true, on setting one's self further examples.
It is pleasant, as you sit in the coffee-room, to
glance your eye down the columns of the news
paper, and to extract what are the prominent
topics of the day. The last English paper that
you saw, could not possibly be less than three
weeks — and would, in all probabiHty, be a month
— old. Since that time, what changes have taken
place! Who is this Smith, who arrogates a whole
side of the journal to himself? He cut off the
heads of his wife, and twin children ! And yet,
only three weeks ago, and this same Smith was
firing unknown and uncared for, a private indi
ridual like yourself. It was not then a matter of
all-absorbings interest to countless thousands of
his countrymen, to know that Smith partook of
tea for his breakfast, or wore a sky-blue cut-away.

266 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
A deed perpetrated in a Httle back kitchen, in
two minutes, wiU give employment, for whole
weeks and months, to people hundreds of miles
away; it will carry the newspapers through the
dull part of the year; it will communicate an
agreeable stimulus to all. Smith is a pubhc
benefactor, and ought to have a statue erected
to him. So he will, you will see, — a wax one.
Hallo ! what is this about the Pope ? The
other sides are full of him. Hundreds of meet
ings are being held to put him down ! You
thought that had been done at the Reformation.-
It is everywhere proved, to dehghted audiences,
that he is the Beast ! You thought the fact was
incontrovertible. All the Joneses, Bro^wns, and
Robinsons, in the country, are ready to die for
their Queen and faith ! Who disputed it ? The
name of the Pope has raised a riot at Birkenhead,
and he has been burnt in effigy at Croydon!
What is the reason of all this ? The more acute
reader will, perhaps, find out a cause for the en
thusiasm of Brown, Jones, and Robinson ; I, less
fortunate, have not succeeded in doing so. Of
one thing, however, these persons may rest as
sured. They are taking a course exactly calcu
lated to advance the Roman CathoHc Religion
in England. Popular fervour is much more easy
to excite than to allay. A stone hurled at Car
dinal Wiseman transforms him at once into a

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 267
martyr. A row in front of the new Cathedral at
Southwark will just push on the whole affair that
one step which is so necessary to its success — the
step, namely, which separates the ridiculous from
the sublime.
Here again ! Here is a memorial to a man
who was hale and hearty when you were last in
¦ England. They are getting up this memorial to
him, on the plea that he was "good." Well —
weU — de mortuis nil nisi bonum. Nobody can
complain, that in Great Britain the charitable pre
cept is not observed. Here are Bishops, alarmed
at the Papal crisis, eating their own expressions,
and the sentiments -with which you have always
associated their names — here are men appointed
to high offices in Chancery, who, a few months ago,
were at the common-law bar, and would, pro
bably, have refused to give you their opinion on
a question of equity — here are third editions of
popular novels that you had never heard of —
people passing through the Insolvent Court,
whom you used to toady for their dinners — men
and women being married together, among the
advertisements, who, when you left, were both
married to some one else — two more shop-fronts
added to Moses and Sons' establishment — more
Dukes cured by HoUoway's pills. So the world
moves round, and only one thing remains the same.
It is unnecessary to say that I allude to Smithfield.

268 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
It is not, upon the whole, unpleasant to lay
down the paper, and to move on, with your lug
gage, to the railway station. To sit six or seven
hours cooped up in the carriage, between Liver
pool and London, is not usually considered plea
sant, it is true ; but it almost becomes so, when
you call to mind that you might be passing the
same number of hours in an American car. As
you think of those fearful vehicles, and their
yellow inmates, a shudder will pass across your
frame, but it will be the shudder with which a
man, seated by a comfortable fire, listens to the
roaring of the winter wind outside. You will,
perhaps, be inclined to meditate, as you take
your seat, that happiness is, after all, the great
object of mankind, and that you, for your part,
would be happier — and, to all intents and pur
poses, freer — in a despotic country, with the rack
and tbe Inquisition for your institutions, than
under the stars and stripes. For, in the one
case, the chances are a thousand to one that you
are never submitted to the rack or the knout.
Whereas, the minor modes of torment incident
to the latter are, Hke the sword of Damocles,
always suspended over your head. They are not,
like other tortures, the price of your adherence
to a pure and disinterested (I mean an unsuc
cessful) line of politics, or an unfashionable creed
in religion. They pursue the victim into private

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 269
life, and come down upon people of every line of
politics, and of every creed.
It is pleasant (if you are not a shareholder) to
contemplate the stability of the railway construc
tions, and to see what a beautiful terminus has
been erected at Liverpool, for the accommodation
of travellers. Here are no rude wooden barns,
like those which you have left behind you ; no
lines of rail running right through the main streets
of Warrington, Birmingham, and Rugby. No !
everything looks, as it ought to do in old England,
solid and substantial. You cross your puddles,
on aqueducts ; your unfrequented bye-lanes, on
stone suspension bridges. Looking out of the
window, at the different stations along the line,
you have an opportunity of comparing together
all the knovm styles of architecture, and some
styles which you had not known before. Gothic,
Ostro-Gothic, Saxon, Norman, Decorated, Vandal
— ^all are here. Even the flower-pots in the super
intendent's bed-room window are medifeval. I
am not a shareholder, and, therefore, I found all
this very pleasant and refreshing to look at, after
crossing the ocean.
In enumerating the pleasant things which await
the traveller on his return to England from Ame
rica, the civility of the railway officials, and every
one around you, must not be forgotten. My
spirit had been so broken, in the United States, by

270 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
being driven remorselessly into cars ; and bel
lowed at by infuriated car-drivers ; and run up
against, and spit at, and whittled over by sailors
in steam-boats, that it was not ¦without some
trepidation that I ventured to inquire which were
the London carriages, of a graceful and gentle
manly policeman, who stood by. Instead of the
famihar stare, and the sharp, nasal " Well, I
guess they're down there," to which I had been
accustomed, the great man, bowing low, actually
showed the way to the proper carriage, and — will
it be believed ? — opened the door for me ! I felt,
as the captive monarch must have felt, when
waited upon by his conqueror, the Black Prince.
It was very pleasant to me, at a station some
where near the end of our journey, and at which
we waited about ten minutes, to watch a party
walking up and do-wn on the platform in front of
the carriages. The party consisted of an old gen
tleman, two young ladies, and a young gentleman
in plaid trousers and moustaches. The humble,
reverential, and more than usually awkward
manner of the porters, when they answered any
questions asked them by any of the four, at once
conrinced me that they must be persons of dis
tinction. The expressions, " my lord" and " my
lady," which presently came wafted to my ears,
let me in for the stupendous fact, that I breathed
at that moment the same air with a British Peer.

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 271
" Perhaps they wiU get into this very carriage," I
thought to myself; and my heart was almost in
my mouth (if it had been quite there, I should
have bit it in two in my emotion) at the mere
idea of such happiness.
No such thing. After hesitating a moment,
they had the bad taste to prefer the next carriage,
which was empty. I am sure the young ladies
looked wistfuUy at the one where I was perceived
with my face to the ¦window — however, enough of
this ! The ceremony of getting that remarkable
party into their places, wUl not easily pass out of
my mind. Two enormous retainers, whose grey
overcoats were dotted over with shining buttons,
Hke stars in the tvrihght sky, were employed, for
some minutes, in deahng on to the seats great
packs of cloaks, coats, furs, scarfs, rugs, shawls,
and mackintoshes, out of one of which packs, I
am pretty sure that I saw the tail of an Italian
greyhound emerge, and I have a strong impres
sion that aU the raUway officials saw it, as well ;
but let that pass. Upon these, foUowed a tole
rable wheelbarro^wful of gun-cases, cases of various
kinds, hat-boxes, and tin-boxes, the use of which
I do not know, unless they are made to contain
the coronet. Last of aU came the human beings
themselves, who took longer to pack than all that
preceded, a circumstance not so much to be won
dered at, as how they managed to flnd room at all.

272 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
And after the train had, I verily believe, been
kept waiting for some minutes, for the purpose of
bestowing the noble burden which it had received, '
off we steamed, and the last thing that I saw of the
station was a party of bare heads bobbing and
bowing in front of the carriage. Amongst others,
I was delighted to recognize the head clerk of the
station — who clearly had a bad cold- — standing out
in the damp, with his head bare." I am not malig
nant, but I hope that that cold is worse.
I merely mention these little circumstances, for
the purpose of exhibiting an important philoso
phical fact. If, at any time, a man could be sup
posed to be free from a certain feeling — to avoid
circumlocution, let us call it snobbishness, the
name which it has lately gone by — if, at any time,
a man could be supposed to be free from snob
bishness, it would be, one would think, on his
return from a country where the institutions which
call forth that sentiment, have been abandoned by
the good sense of the people. And yet I do not
think that experience wiU prove this to be the
case. On the contrary, it is my opinion that the
traveller, on coming back from America, will run
the risk, at first, of being too ardent a snob. He
sees, for the first time, certain advantages of
general refinement and good breeding arising from
the establishment of a privileged class^ which ad
vantages he would never have found out if he had

THE PLEASURES OF HOMEWARD TRAVEL. 273
not gone to a country where no such privileged
class exists, and there marked the effect on the
manners of the people at large. For even snob
bishness has its bright sides ; and, as every vice is
a virtue carried to extremes, so I hold that this
snobbishness is but the exaggeration of a senti
ment originally praiseworthy and good — perhaps,
the organ of veneration unduly developed. And
at no time will a man find this organ so likely to
outgrow its limits, as when he is just fresh from
a scene where nothing is venerated and nothing
venerable. I know that such were my feelings on
the occasion to which I have just referred, and
that I was never more cheerfully disposed to
acquiesce in the propriety of there being people
above me, than with my recent experience of
haring been tbe equal of all men.
It is pleasant, very pleasant, to be aroused from
such dry meditations as these, by the sight of that
dear mass of fog, interspersed with houses, which
people have agreed to caU by the name of London ;
to dart under the wheels of the emblazoned
chariot, which is in waiting to receive your titied
neighbours, and to find a place for yourself and
yom- humble luggage, in a modest cab. And if.
you, my reader, be of the same opinion as the
writer of this Httie book; aU that gaudy appa
ratus of prancing horses, yellow panels, gold-
]i, tipped staves, and powdered hair, which is whirled

274 ACROSS THE ATLANTIC.
past you, will inspire you with no feeling ap
proaching to envy, or even to indignation, as you
are dragged slowly along, to your ricketty cham
bers, your dusty parchments, and (perhaps the
only friend that awaits you) your cat. You do
not consider the man who puts your luggage on
the roof equal to yourself ; why, then, must you
be equal to the Queen ? No ! no ! You will
now, more than ever, be ready to exclaim, " Long
may that time be distant in this happy island,
when he who can afford to drive sixteen horses
to his carriage, and have a hundred footmen in
attendance on him, may not gratify his fancy
with perfect security. And, above aU things, de
liver us, oh Lord, from universal equahty, which
is much more Hkely to be an equahty in mean
ness and knavery, than in inteUect, honesty, and
virtue !"

THE END.

LOKDOIf
G. EAELE, PEINTEBj CASTLE SIEEET, OSFOED STHEET.

BY THE SAME AUTHOR.

SKETCHES OF CANTAB S.
Second Edition, with Two Illustrations, by H. K. Browne, (Pliiz) .
Price 3s. 6d., cloth, gilt edges.

OPINIONS OF THE PRESS.
MORNING POST.
" If the author of the little work hefore us can talk half as amu
singly as he can write, he must be a very pleasant companion. A
good. companion even this work itself is, while its brief converse
lasts. His motto seems to have been —
 Ridentem dicere vera
Quid vetat?
And he not only says, in the midst of the satire and fun of his not
whoUy unprovoked caricatures, many things that are tme, but,
nnder the mask of mock gravity, glances at some obvious betteiings
much to be desired in the tone aud manners of a too gent-ridden
portion of the new generation of Cambridge lads."
snN.
" To young men about to repair to the Universities, we would
say read it ; you will not only derive amusement, but profit, from a
perusal of its pages. To parents and guardians we would say read
it ; you may derive from it many a valuable hint : but we would
chiefly call upon the dignified and venerable heads of our Univer
sities to read it; if only to cull from its good-natm-ed, yet justly
satirical pages, so much information as would induce them to at
tempt aU necessary reforms. ATHEN.a;uM.
" It is high praise to say of the little book before us that we have
read it with entertainment. Many of the classes into which the
germs Cantab is divided are neatly discriminated — in a style none
the less acceptable because the ftm is not dragged in by the head
and shoulders." EXAMINEK.
"We have laughed heartily at Mr. Smith's Sketches, and are
moved to recommend them to the reader who has a taste for real
mirth, sly humour, and gentlemanly, good-natured satire. They
have much of the manner of Mr. Thackeray, who is evidently a

OPINIONS OF THE PRESS.
favourite with the writer; but they have nothing of common-place
imitation about them, and beneath their surface of banter and per
siflage there is a good spirit and useful intention."
OBSEEVEE.
" These sketches, it seems, were originally intended for private
circulation only, but the Author has taken a wise course in giving
them to the public generally, for a more entertaining little book we
scarcely ever remember to have read. The Undergraduate of
Cambridge has eccentricities peculiar to his age and situation, and
many a well-known character, and well -remembered scene is here "
depicted with great spirit, and will be recalled with interest to the
mind of those who have been familiar with such scenes."
LITEEAET GAZETTE.
" In this little volume there is much good sense, pleasant satire,
and humour. The writer possesses an acute eye for observation,
and a graphic pen for description .... The University system of
tuition, the usual habits of the students, and education in general,
are discussed with a ludicrous freedom, which does not, however,
much diminish the force of the arguments. In short, we think the
test of ridicule very cleverly applied; and the performance alto
gether to be smart, amusing, and useful."
BEITANOTA.
" These spirited sketches, though dashed ofif with a free penoU
and in a, careless strain, go a little deeper than the sm-face, and
contain occasionally passages which remind us of the quiet irony of
the author of ' Pendennis.' There is an entire absence of what the
French call argot throughout the work, and the Author has managed
while describing blackguards to write like a gentleman. It is a
capital book tp relieve a long railway journey, or a solitary evening."
CA3IERIDGE CHKONICLE.
" This book can hardly be ranked amongst those numerous trifles
which are destined to amuse for an hour, and then be forgotten.
The -m-iter has contrived to insinuate a great deal of good sense
Lttto his banter; aud has aimed a blow at various Undergraduate
foUies, which is more likely to take effect from the sportive vein in
which it is administered." OAMEEIDGE INDEPENDENT PEESS.
" Among the numerous efiforts to pourtray the life of a Cantab
' as it is,' that we have noticed of late years, we must decidedly, for
accuracy of description aud fidelity of detail, award the preference
to the clever little brochure now before us; the author evidently
knows his ground well, and we can assure the reader, that shoiild
he desire to enjoy a laugh in this dull season, he will be certain to
find it in the clever hits oS' of our University friends. Fast and
slow. Trinity and Queen's, all are here. We have heard that the
book is not a favourite with certain students; but probably its only
fault is that its Sketches are too true." ,.'

YALE UNIVEI^TY LIBRARY

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