^^M±' Eodl.aoj-. /S9S. TWELVE YEARS' MILITARY ADVENTURE IN THREE QUARTERS OF THE GLOBE : OR, MEMOIRS OF \N OFFICER " WHO SEaVED IN THE ARMIES OF HIS MAJESTY AND OF THE EAST INDIA COMPANV, BETWEEN THE YEARS 1802 AND 1814, IN WHICH ABE CONTAINED. THE CAMPAIGNS OF THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON : IN INDIA, AND HIS LAST IN SPAIN AND THE SOUTH OF FRANCE; IN TWO VOLUMES. VOL. L NEW YORK : SOLD BY B. bliss; C. ^. FRANCIS ; G.LONG; WHITE GALXAHEB & WHITE ; ROLLINS & CO. ; COLLINS &5 HANNAY ; D. FELT J WM, BURGESS, JB. ; O. A. ROOR, BACH ; N. B. HOLMES ; W. B. GILLEY ; G. & C. ifc II. CABVILL ; A. T. GOODRICH. PHILADELPHIA— ^T, DE SILVER ; J, GRIGG ; TOWAE & , HOGAN.— rUALTIMOBEi — W. & J. NBAL.—r BOSTON . KICHAEDSON & LORD. .. . . ¦ 1829, . '¦'¦¦'¦ , J. SEYMOUR, ^ CLAYTONS -^AN NORDBN, i P™'"' »nd PuWishere for the Trail*. H. C SLEIGHT, ) Orders addressed to E. B. CLAYTON, New- York. TO HIS GRACE THE DUKE OF WELLINGTON, inc. &LC. ilC. MY LORD DUKE, There is no one to whom I can, with so much propriely, dedicate these Memoirs, as your Grace ; first, as being the most distinguished ornament of the Profession to which I belong ; and next, because I began and ended my Military career under your Grace. I have the honour to be, My Lord Duke, Your Grace's raost obedient and most faithful servant, THE AUTHOR ADVERTISEMENT, As in the composition of the followmg Memoirj,. the Author has borrowed no aid from fiction, he trasts that the matter will make up for the manner ; and, while he craves the indulgence of the learned R.eader, he hopes to obtain the mercy of the Critic for the work of an unlettered Soldier. CONTENTS OF THE FIRST VOLUME. CHAPTER I. The Anthor is destined at an early age for the Military Profes sion. — Remarks on professional indicalions. — A Commission pro cured for him at the age of nine years. — His feehngs on that occasioQ. — Its efiects oa his character. — He is obliged to retire on Half-pay. — Is sent to Winchester School. — System of Education there; not adapted to slow boys. — Emblematical Device on the wall of the school-room. — Author chooses the second alternative; Is appointed a Cadet in the East India Company's service. — -Is sent to the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich. — Commendable system pursued there. — ^Leaves Woolwich, and prepares for de parture for India 13 CHAPTER n. The Author embarks for India. — His feelings on that occasion. — His fellow passengers. — Mode of passing time on board. — Trick played on a passenger. — Voyage and arrival at Madras. . 20 CHAPTER IH. Appearance of Madras. — Landing. — Assailed by swarms of Na tive Servants. — Amusements of Sailors ashore. — Author repairs to the Tort to deliver his credentials. — Remarks on entering the Fortress. — Reception at the Adj atant-general's office. — Return te the Hotel, and description of it. — Musquitoes.— Anecdote of a young lady. — Returns to the ship in search of his baggage, — Ex tortion of the Massuli-boat boys.— 'Delivers his letters of Intro duction. — Is invited to the house of the Chief Engineer. — Chooses the Engineer Corps. — Removes to quarters in the Fort. Society of the Presidency. — Anecdote of a Scotch Cadet. — Public day at a Regimental Mess , . S6 . 1* VI CONTENTS. CHAPTER IV. Groundless complaints of Officers at not getting into society.-— La dies. — Matrimonial Market. — ^Author studies the Hindoo religion, assisted by his native servants. — Ladies of India defended against the attacks of Mrs. Grahame.— Indian Fruits.— Author visits the Ceded Districts with a Committee o^ Survey. — Hill Forts. — Pa goda of Trippety. — Return to the Presidency. — Norlh-east Mon- ,3oon. — Tanks 36 CHAPTER V. Symptoms of approaching hostilities. — Author joins the army near Vellore. — Art Anglo-Indian Camp.— The March.— Baggage.— Beasts of burthen ; mode of urging them on.: — ^System of living in Camp. — Anecdote, — Europeans too much disposed to beat their servants. — ^Anecdote on that subject. — Ascent of the Ghauts, and change of climate, — Chittledroog. — Airs affected by the Stafl' and anecdote. — Anecdotes of Captain Grose. . . .43 CHAPTER VI. Arrival ofthe army at Hurryhar. — Joined by the Mysore detach ment under General Wellesley. — Ojiinion then entertained of that Offioer.^Ansodote respecting' General Wellesley at the siege of Seringapatam. — Force detached under his command. — Commence the marcii for Poonah. — Cross the Toombudra.-^-De- serted state of the country, — Looties. — Hung when caught. — Bheels Officers' tents robbed.— ^Dexterity of these Thieves. — • Cross the Kistnah.— Fort of Darwar. — Feudal Chiefs. — Their vi sits. — Their retinues and cavalcades.— Description and appear ance ofthe Mahratta villages.— iDevastated state ofthe oountry. Scarcity of forage and mortality among the cattle in consequence. A turban-eating bullock. — Mode of supplying horses with grass. Pioneers, their activity and skill.' — Artillery. — Elephants. — An ecdotes of their sagacity. . . . ... 51 CHAPTER VII. Wild Beasts. — Jackals, Antelopes. — Coursing Foxes. — Duty on march. — Difficulty of obtaining information, of the Roads Sys tem of Espionage. — Hircarrahs. — Approach the Nizam's subsi diary force. — Colonel Stevenson. — Hill-Fprt of Sattarrah, — De scendant of Sevagee. — Forced march ofthe Cavalry to Poonah. — A Field of Battle. — Remarks on viewing the skeletons. — Arrival at Poonah. — Receive tlie PaishwaJh on his return. — The Genera! pays him a, formal visit. — Ceremony on that occasion. — The Paishwah and his Conrt. — Colonel Barry Close. — South-west Monsoon sets in. — The Army moves in the direction of Bombay. Hardships endured by it. — State of the Camp daring a heavy CONTENTS. VU vain. — Mode of securing the Tents. — Cotton-ground. — Mortality among the Cattle. — A march during heavy ram. — Encampment iu hot weather. — Whirlwinds. — Artificial mode' if cooling Tents and alsO' liquids. — Camp, pleasant in fine weather. — Joined by troops from Bombay. — Major Malcolm. — Army moves in the di rection of Ahmednaghur. — Stopped by a sudden fall of rain. — Its consequences. — A river comes down suddenly in the night, and carries away the washermen and their families. — The Author's brother engineer dies of a dysentery. — His character. — A mi lita ny Funeral, and remarks on it. . . . . . 63 CHAPTER VHI. Cause of the War in 1803. — Siege of Ahmednaghur. — Attack of tlie Pettah. — Arab Soldiers. — The Author's leelings on first going into action. — Fatal Duel. — Remarks on Duelling. — Ahmedna ghur. — Progress of the Siege.: — Mode of lighting the walls with blue lights. — Erection of Batteries. — Mode pursued. — Stone Shot. — Fort surrenders. — Execution of tv/o Sepoys for plun dering ~ 75 CHAPTER IX. The Army quits Ahmednaguur — 'Orosses ihe Godavery river. — Ar rives at Aurungabad.^— Deseripiioi) of that place. — General Wellesley visits the Resident at Scindia 's court, Colonel Collins. His equipage and appearance. — His opinion of the Mahratta Armies. — Wretched state of the country. — Famine. — Conduct of the natives under their misery.— Deplorable scene witnessed by the Author. — Colonel Stevenson attacks and takes the fort of Jaulna. — The enemy's cavalry get into oar rear. — Countermarch es in consequence. — ^The enemy's infantry and guns ascend the Adjuntee Pass. — Colonel Stevenson surprises their horse camp. — Joined by a convoy of provisions. — The Army moves forward, — The enemy's cavalry eifect a junction with their infantry. — The two British divisions arrive within a short distance of each other.— Nizam's subsidiary force reviewed, by General Welles ley. — Colonel Stevenson, — Company's officers of rank compared with those of his Majesty 83 CHAPTER X. General Wellesley separates the two British Divisions.-^Ques- tion whether he was right in so doing. — Find ourselves un expectedly within a few railes of the Enemy's Camp. — Their Position. — The General resolves to attack them. — His excellent dispositions for that purpose. — Battle of Assaye, — Anecdotes con nected with it '. 89 Vlll CONTENTS. CHAPTER XI. Feelings after the Battle. — Siceletons of the Regiments on Parade. Sale of Officers' effects. — Jomed by Colonel Stevenson's corps. Scindia sues for peace.! — Colonel Stevenson takes possession of Burhampoor. — ^Lays siege, to Asseerghur., — General Wellesley's division descends the Adjuntee pass, and enters Berar. — Descrip tion of the country! — Wild hog hunting.^Asseerghiir surrenders. Eneray's Cavalry get into our rear, and endeavour to 'intercept . our Convoys. — General Wellesley's division j-e-aso^nds the Ad juntee pass in consequence. — Captain Baynes, commanding "the. Convoy, repulses the attack of the Enemy — Is joined by Gene ral Wellesley's division. -^Brinjaries, and some account of them. Scindia's Vakeels arrive in our Camp, and negotiations set on foot. — Descent into Berar by the Bajoora pass. — A Suspension of Arms agreed upon with Scindia. 104 CHAPTER XII. The two British Divisions uiiileJ at Painvly. — The Berar Rajah's Army a short distance off. — Agreement made by Colonel Steven- Son with them. — ^General Wellesley reconnoitres their Army. — Orders the British Force lo advance. — Skirmish between parties of the Mysore and Enemy's Horse. — Battle of Argaum. — Part of the Army thrown into confusion at the outset. — Admirable presence of mind,and knowledge of human nature displayed by General Wellesley in restoring order. — Anecdotes connected with the Battle. ' . . . . . . . . .110 CHAPTER XHI. The Army resumes its march to the Eastward. — Reaches Ellich- poor. — Entertainment given by the Nabob of that place.. — Siege of Gayvilghur resolved upon. — Description ot that Fortress. — Adventut'e ofthe Author in proceeding thither.— ^Description and anecdotes of his Horse, — Terronof a Guide on seeing the firing from the Fort. — Enter the Mountains, — Reach the Northern side of the place. — Progress of the Siege,.^-Fool-haidiness of an Officer. — Assault. — Desperate resistance by a body of Rajpoots. Dreadful Carnage among the Enemy,— Cruel sport of our Euro pean Soldiers. — Escape of the Author from a party of them.-7- The Rajpoots in garrison put their Women to death. — Captain Johnstone. — Superior zeal of European Officers in India. — Snpe- riority ofthe British Regiments in India to those of the same ser vice in Europe. — Both circumstances accounted for, — Booty. 118 CHAPTER XIV. .[leturn to Elliehpoor. — Resume our march towards Nagpoor, — Peace concluded with the Mahratta powers. — Panegyric, on CONTENTS. IX Marquis Wellesley's policy. — The Army retraces its steps, — Plundering Expedition of the Pindarrees in our rear, attacked and routed. — The Author arrives at Poonah. — Is attacked by Guinea worms, and thereby prevented from accompanying General Wel lesley to Bombay. — Festivities at Poonah. — Anecdote of a Pub lic Dinner, — ^Horse-Races, — The Authpr returns with part of the Army to the Madras territories, — Sepoys bit by a mad Jackal, — Monsoon sets in, — The Detachment crosses the Kistnah in Bas ket-boats. — Mode of dragging them across by horses. — Foils of Gogawk 130 CHAPTER XV. The Author visits his brother at Badnore. — Feelings on that occa sion. — SeU out for the Presidency. — Equipage of an Officer tra velling. — ^Hindoo Women, — Jugglers and Tumblers, — Dancing Girls,^Dancing Snakes, — Fang teeth of venomous kinds, — Hab its of Europeans travelling. — Indian Game. — Sporting. — Blood suckers. — Pellet-bow. — Ingenious mode of es^tching Wild Ducks. The Author meets with an odd character. — Arrives at Nundid- loog, — Adventure there. . ... . . . 13T CHAPTER XVI. The Author arrives at the Presidency, — Appearance of Madras af ter the Monsoon. — Race^. — The Author appointed to a situatior. at the Presidency, — Habits of the European Inhabitants. — State of Religion in India. — Mode of keeping the Sabbath. — Company's Chaplains, — Anecdote of one. — Native Christians. — Irreligious example set by the Europeans, — Portuguese in India, — Descrip tion of Madras. — The Author is appointed to a situation in the Centre Division of the Army. — Description of Vellore. — Alliga tors. — Tippoo Saib's Sons, — Mutiny ^Vellore. — Anecdotes con nected with it. — Colonel Gillespie.^ .... 148 CHAPTER XVII. Conflicting opinions respecting the cause of the Mutiny. — Religious prejudices of the Hindoos. — Remarks on Missionaries, — Execu tion or Conspirators, — Remarkable occurrence on that occasion. Further Anecdotes connected with the Mutiny, — The Mysore Princes sent to Calcutta, — Extraordinary sensation produced in India by the Mutiny, — Death of an Officer by falling down a well. . .164 CHAPTER XVIII. The Author is appointed to a situation at Bangalore. — Builds a new Cantonment. — Pleasant life led there.' — Gambling in India. Melancholy instance of its efiects. — Jack Dillon. — System of Se- poy Regiments, — Various Anecdotes 170 X CONTENTS. CHAPTER XIX. Dispute between Sir George Barlow and the Company's Officers. The. Author is sent to Pondicherry anjong the Nonjurors. — De scription of Pondicherry. — Habits of the French Inhabitants, — Author returns to Bangalore^ — Adventures , on the road. — Ar rives at Arnee. — Tomb of Colonel Harvey Aston. — Anecdotes of him.-^The Author is ordered to Madras to take command of the Engineer Department in the Expedition to the Isle of Bour bon. — Travels by Dawk. — Palanquin Bearers. — Arrives at the Presidency 178 CHAPTER XX. The Author sails with the expedition to Bourbon. — Hardships un dergone by the Native Troops onboard Ship, — Their prejudices with regard to Cooking, — Country Ships. — Lascars. — Arrival at the Island of Rodriguez. — Description of the Island. — Coral Reefs. — Colonel Keating, — Author embarks in the Boadicea. — Commodore Rowley. — Captain Willoughby. — Joined by the rest of the Squadron 183 CHAPTER XXL Landing at the Island ot Bourbon. — Loss of lives in tbe surf. — Ac tion of the 86th Regiment with the Enemy. — Defences of St. Denis, the Capital, — Island surrendered. . . . 188 CHAPTER XXII. Description of the Island ol Bourbon. — The Author makes a Tour of the Island. — Volcano. — Pays brul6, — Creoles, — Slaves, — Attack of the Isle de la Passe near the Isle of France, — The French Squadron enter^ort South East, — Attacked by four English Frigates, — All lost or taken, — The French recover the Isle de la Pitsse — J udicious conduct of Commodore Rowley. — Capture of the Africaine. — Recovered by the Boadicea, — French rejoice at the dea,th of Captain Corbet, — Capture of the Ceylon Frigate, — Retaken, together with her antagonist the Venus; by Commodore Rowley, — Exertions of the Navy in refitting the Ships. — Admiral Bertie arrives from the? Cape in the Nisus. — The Squadron sails for the Isle of France. — The Author embarks on board the Boadicea. — Is employed in reconnoitering the Coast. French gasconade. — The Expedition arrives from India. — Corps composing it 193 eBAPTER XXIH. Spot fixed upon for.ttej^ebarkation, — Landing, — Progress of the Army towards Pon^Louis, — Adventure of the Author, — Action near Port-l»ouiSsfe.CNight Alarm.— Ridiculous occurrence. — Isl and surrendered 203 CONTENTS. XI ' CHAPTER XXIV. Terms of Capitulation, — Arrival of Troops from the Cape. — Crael scene on board the Prison Ships. — Description of the Island, and of Port Louis. — Inhabitants. — The Author sails for, and arrives at Madras. — Is appointed Extra Aid-de-Camp to Sir Samuel Auchmuty, on the Expedition to Java,— His feelings on being appointed to the Staff'. — Treated with greater consideration in consequence, — His remarks thereon, — Oourt paid to Rank. — Anecdote on that subject, 209 TWELVE YEARS' MILITARY ADVENIWJRE. CHAPTER I. The Author is destined at an early age for the Military Profession. Remarks on professional indications. — .\ Commission procured for him at the age of nine years. — His feelings ou that occasion. Its eftects on his character. — He is obliged to retire on Half-pay. — Is sent to Winehester'iSchool. — System of Education there; not adapted to slow boys .f— Emblematical Device on the wall of the school-room, — Author chooses the second alternative. — Is appointed a Cadet in the East India Company's service, — Is sent to the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich. — Commendable system pursued there. — ^Leaves Woolwich, and prepares fpr departure for India. OtTT pf a family of six boys it was proper that one should be devoted to the infernal gods ; and, as my shoulders promised to be of the requisite breadth, and my head of the suitable thickness, I was chosen as a fit offering ; or, in other words, I was selected for the mili tary profession, as being the greatest dunce in the family. But, besides the above natural qualification for this knock-my-head profession, I must say that I was early seized with the red-coat mania, first caught, I believe, by accompanying a cousin when he went to mount guard at the castle of Dublin, and afterwards evinced in a predilection for painting soldiers on cards, and putting them through their manoeuvres on the table, in prefer. ence to any evolutions, however beautiful, which could be performed by the six-and-twenty letters of the alpha. bet. I also well recollect, that among the sons of my father's tenants I had a corps raised and discipUned after 2 14 TWELVE YEAfes' my own manner, which they used to call my ragged re- giment. Whether these early professional indications are to be depended upon I know not ; but I have no doubt my parents acted upon them in some degree ; for one of my brothers was expressly fixed upon as the sat- lor of the family, because he was observed one day, through the key -hole of a room into which he had locked himself, busiljwpployed in yo-hoing a table, which he had turned upsia% down for a ship ; and another was afterwards entered on the books of the Master-general of the Ordnance for the artillery, because he used to spend all his pocket-money in buying little brass can nons, and firing them off, to the annoyance of my mo ther's nerves. Had the opinions of the learned Doctors Gall and Spurzheim been then promulgated to the world, my parents would have had a comparatively easy task in the choice of professions for their children ; for they would, in that case, only have had'to ascertain the promi nent bump in the cranium of each boy. As it was, they acted up to the best of their lights ; and whether they judged rightly with regard to me, that is, whether I d® really possess the bump military, or murderous bump, which I conceive to be the same thing, will perhaps, be discovered in the following memoirs. With a view of getting me a good start in my profes sion, a commission was purchased for me in a newly- raised regiment, it being intended, through the means of Iriy maternal uncle, who commanded the corps, to have n^e kept on the strength until I had completed the usual quantum of ed«<;ation to capacitate me for joining a marching regiment. I never shall forget the feelings with which, at nine years' old, I learned that I had the honour of bearing his Majesty's commission. I am convinced, to this day, that I grew some inches taller in the course of the first twenty-four hours ; and to this early event in my life, I have no doubt, I owe a certain stiffness of carriage and mihtary strut, for which I have always been remarkable ; and to the tenor communica- t^d'by it to my ideas may be attributed much of my present character, the predominant features of which MILITARY ADVENTURE. 15 are pride and a too exquisite, if not a morbid, sense of honour— quahties which I have found to stand in my way in my progress through hfe. Indeed it was not long before I began to find the feelings resulting from them rather inconvenient ; for it", in my juvenile days, I had to resent plebeian insolence (to which my disposi- tion rendered me pecuharly sei>sitive,) I used to think it beneath me to employ any other than the lowest member of my frame ; so that frequently, while I was engaged in kicking the insensible breech of some base-born var- let, he was perhaps exercising his homy knuckles in a more effectual way on my patrician sconce, which, although I was no bad bruiser among my equals in ranlt, my military pride would hardly allow me to protect widi my hands, for fear of being caught in a boxing-match with a snob. That this early intimation of my being actually an officer did not serve to stimulate me in nw studies, may alsoi'be easily conceived ; for, besides that I had no oc. casion, like other bovs, to studv for a profession which I had alreadv attained, I could in no way discover of what use either mima or 7nuscB coidd be to me as a sol dier. AMiile in this mood the Duke of York's regulations, prohibiting school-boys from holding commissions in the army came out ; and my military" pride was lowered a peg or two by my being placed on half-pay. But the mischief was done, and thenceforth I was good for no tiiing but to wear a cockade. 3Iy parents, however, wisely considering of what use it would be to rae in my profession (as I have since ex perienced,) had taken great pains to have me well in structed in French ; for which purpose an Abbe resided constantly in om- house during the hohdays ; so that at fhe age of thirteen, I not only spoke the language fluent ly, but understood it well. Whether my head was so pecuharh' constructed that it could not contain more than a certain quantum of learning at a time, or whether this principle is common tO the human head generally, I shall not stop to inquire : but the fact is, that, though I 16 TWELVE YEARS' had been by this time for some years at a grammar- school, Iknew scarcely any thing of the classics. In this state I was sent as a Commoner to Winchester School, where of course I distinguished myself in the way that might have been expected ; that is, by being almost always at the bottom of my class. Not but that an occasional flash of genius, or lucky hit (if you will have it,) would give me a momentary projection to ^the top ; but, alas ! only to sink again, like other heavy bo dies, to the level trom which I had sprung. The " Lose three places" — ".Lose three more" — "Go to the bot tom" — of Dr. Gabell, still resounds in my ears. But indeed he was the worst master that could be imagined for a slow boy. He never would lend him a helping .hand, but down he would keep hini, loading him with im positions (that is, tasks) till he had no time to get through either these or his lessons. He went to work hke an unskdful huntsman, who, when the hounds come to a fault, will neither allow them to make their own cast, nor - give them a lift in a cold scent, but will keep them with their noses down to the foiled ground till the scent is lost altogether. I have been kept on a holiday, with a few pther victims of his mistaken discipline, for hours to- gether writing impositions on his staircase, on a cold winter's day, till the pen would drop out of my fingers. Had it"?lpt been for the under-master, I think I should hate likisjd the school ; for there was a manly — I may say gentfemanly — feeling araong the boys, and a degree of liberty was allowed to the commoners out of school hours, which suited my disposition. A circumstance happened here which will, in some measure, help to elucidate my character. It was usual at the close of the year to move the boys into the class next above them, excepting perhaps one or two who were not considered worthy of the step. On the publi. cation of the classes for the ensiung year, I found my self, as might have been expected, among the few ex ceptions above-mentioned. For the first time in my life I felt ashamed of being a blo'ckhead, and resolved by an effort to extricate myself, if possible, from my ignomi. MILITARY ADVENTURE, 17 nious state. With this determination I studiously con- cealed from my parents the disgrace I had undergone ; and, when the vacation was over, went and stood up with the class above me, as if I had been regularly promoted to it among the others. I kept my secret close, and put on so good a face, that nobody questioned my right to be there ; and I actually continued to keep my place in that class, while my less adventurous com- panions in disgrace remained in the class below. Most of my readers must know, or have heard of, the emblematical device which is painted on the wall of Win- Chester school-room. At top is a mitre and.crozier with the words aut disce under them ; beneath that a sword and an ink-horn, with the words aut discede ; lastly, a rod, with the remainder of the verse, 7nanet sors tertia, ccedi. It was my lot to follow the middle course, and to take my departure, not however before I had received such a disproportionate share of the apple twigs* that I could easily distinguish, by the touch of the wood alone, all the gradations from a golden pippin to a codling. When I had nearly reached my fifteenth year an alter ation was made in the plan of my future life, and a cadet. ship for the artillery or engineers in the East India Com- pany's service was accepted for me. As the situation was in great request, and one in which, to all appearance, an ample harvest of laurels and of lucre was to be reap. ed ; and as the army of the King was then at rather a low ebb, I cannot blame my parents for the part they took ; though it is almost certain that, had I continued in the service of his Majesty, I should now be very near the rank of general officer, instead of being a simple Cap. tain. But they acted for the best, and with no motive hut my good. Indeed it is but a poor tribute to their pa- rental affection to say, that never were parents more devoted to the wfelfare of their children than mine. Al- though nothing could be closer than the union of their * At Winchester school four apple twigs tied to the end of a stick are used instead of the usual instrument of castigation, a birch tod. 2* 18 TWELVE YEARS' hearts, every chdd (and they had not a few) seemed an additional link in the bond of their love. These formed so many points of union for their thoughts and affections, and many a luxury was denied themselves that more might be expended on the education of their offspring. It was no fault of theirs if I did not profit by it. In order to prepare me for the situation I had accepted it was necessary that I should be placed at the Royal Mihtary Academy at Woolwich, where cadets for the East India Company's artillery or engineers were then received on the same footing as those of his Majesty : but, as there was no vacancy just at that time, I was sent to an academy at Deptford, where I spent six months pleasantly enough, but learning only what I had after wards to unlearn. The system of education at Woolvrich was such as exactly suited my disposition. There were no compul sory lessons ; but the obtaining a commission depended entirely on a youth's own exertions, and the more rapid his progress the sooner that object was attained. Thus interest was the self-apparent motive, and emulation the spur to action, while nothing like a dread of punishment 4 » ^galled the better feelings, or drew forth the worst pas sions of our nature. Although supplied with the best masters in each department of instruction, the pupils were free to learn or not, as they chose ; but the conse quences were obvious, natural, and certain. Indeed, I have often wondered that this principle is not more acted upon in our public schools ; for, surely, after a certain age, youth is capable of judging what is for its interest in so plain a case, and more likely to consult that interest through the exertion of free will, than when goaded on by the arm of power, on which the mind will then natur ally throw all the trouble and responsibility of pushing it on, while it thinks only of indulging, as much as possi. ble, its natural propensity to idleness and pleasure. Be sides forwarding the immediate object in view, I am of opinion that this plan of free agency in education must tend to imbue the mind with early notions of indepen. deuce and self.confidence, both most essential quaUties in MILITARY ADVENTURE. 19 the formation of a great character. Be this as it may, the system suited me ; and the fruits were such that, although a dunce at Winchester, I passed through the academy at Woolwich in a shorter time than any of my predecessors, and that without any great exertion of in tellect. Il might have been that I had more taste for mathematics than for the classics ; but still this will not by any means account for the entire revolution which took place in my habits of application. The effect which success in my studies had upon me was striking to myself as well as to others. I believe my friends had given me up as an incorrigible blockhead, and it is not to be won dered al if, in spite of self-love and vanity, I was myself borne away by the notion that my talents were far below mediocrity. But I seemed at oace to be born into a bet ter state of existence, and to take my place among a superior order of beings to that in which I had already begun to class myself. I may here remark, that, although I got on extremely well in my mathematical studies (which, however, owing to the demand for officers to fill the engineer and artillery corps, did not then extend to the higher mathematics,) I cannot assert that I then fairly comprehended much of what I learned by rote. On leaving Woolwich I was only between sixteen and seven. teen. Whether at this age the mind, in general, is capa ble of grappling with the mathematics I know not ; but I am convinced that in my case it was not, for, on taking up those studies afterwards, at a more mature age, I was surprised at the facility with which I comprehended prob lems which I recollected to have puzzled me much when I first attempted them. My course being com pleted at Woolwich, I took my departure duly qualified and empowered to kill, upon the most approved princi ples of the art, such of my fellow-creatures beyond the Cape of Good Hope as should presume to dispute the authority of the United Company of Merchants of Great Britain trading to the East Indies. In the interval allov/- ed me to prepare for sailing, I retired to spend a few months in the bosom of my family, from which I was so f^on to be .separated, and which I wa-s doomed never to ¦,! SO TWELVE YEARS' see re.united in this sublunary state.- This^time was not lost by my anxious parents ; for, whde they lavished their «aresses on their departing son, they failed not to pour into my mind all the treasures of their own — treasures, alas ! too pure to find a resting.place in a breast flushed with all the feelings and passions of youth. But, if the good seed, thus sown, faded to take root at the moment, yet it remained, without my being conscious of it, in the recesses of my heart, to spring up and bear fruit, when, in after.hfe, adversity had moistened and prepared the soil ; and, if I have not done credit lo their precepts and example, I have always, I may safely say, in the way. ward and devious path of hfe, looked back with the deep. est reverence, affection, and gratitude, to the authors of my being and the tutors of my heart. Still my father, though the best of parents and of men, had seen too little of the world to be able to warn me of the shoals and rocks that awaited me. He had married early in life, and had seen but little of its vices or its follies. But, indeed, it is a delicate task for a parent to under. take — ^that of counselling a son about to be thrown upon the wide world. To be of decided use, he must particu larize ; and, by particularizing, he descends, as it were, from the sanctity of his station, in betraying an acquaint ance with scenes and subjects which, to have known, he must have participated in. CHAPTER II. The Author embarks for India. — His feelings on that occasion.—- His fellow pasiengeis.— Mode ot passing time^n board. — Trick played on a passenger. — Voyage and arrival at Madras. In January 1802 I embarked for India, having then nearly completed my seventeenth year, and still retain ing my half-pay in his Majesty's service. None but those who have possessed such a home as mine, from which they have been parted under simdar circum- MILITARY ADVENTURE. 21 Stances, can appreciate my emotions at the separation. For some time previously to this, (to my shame I confess it,) a kind of unhallowed feeling of pride at the pros pect of being my own master would occasionally intrude itself among my thoughts ; but when the moment of parting approached — that moment which was to sepa rate me, perhaps for ever, from all I held dear on earth, parents ! brothers ! friends ! — every selfish thought gave way before the flood of tenderness which overpowered me, and every faculty of my mind and heart was ab- sorbed in that last, last adieu ! As my foot left its last impression on the sand, it seemed to me as if my heart strings were torn asunder. A vacant, breathless isola tion of soul came over me, as I took a last look at the cherished objects of my heart. Mine was not a gradual weaning from the parental fold ; I was at once embarked on the ocean of Ufe, at an age when the reins of pater nal authority are seldom even relaxed. All that I had clung to for support and protection ; all that I had ever loved, or that had ever loved me ; all that I knew, or that knew me ; in a word, all that I cared for, or that cared for me, seemed to sink from my sight with the les sening cliffs of my native land. The past, as if in mockery of my woe, freshened up in colours brighter than reality, while the future appeared to my view as the dreary waste of waters before me. If to the above de- scription you add the horrors of sea-sickness (which is of itself enough to make a man wish himself at the bot tom of the deep,) some faint idea may be formed of the sufferings of many of those striplings annually trans. ported from their native soil, to waste their youth and bloom in an ungenial clime, perhaps to whiten with their bones a hostile land, or, if destined to return, to return, alas ! but spectres of their former selves. But, to return to my own story. The elasticity of youth prevented me from long remaining in this state, and I began to recover my spirits about the same time that my stomach began to recover its tone ; that is, as soon as we had crossed that capacious receptacle for At- 22 TWELVE years' lantic waves and contents of landsmen's stomachs, the Bay of Biscay. From a parent's fireside to a cuddy .table — from a fam. ily circle to a mixed company of strangers, the transition is not slight; and this I fully experienced. The nature of the society into which a youth faUs on first embarking in life, is a matter of more consequence than is generally supposed. Indeed, I consider that much of the tone of his future life may depend upon it. I mean, not the asso ciation of youth with youth — for they look to each other, not for example, but companionship — ^but of such a mix- ture of ages as is commonly met with in society. If, among those to whom he will naturally look up, he finds right principles and respectable conduct, happy is it for him : but if, on the contrary, he falls into company with the confirmed libertine, the hoary sensualist, or the un principled gamester, that youth must possess a strong bias who can escape the contagion. I abhor the man who can blast the polish of the youthful heart with his obscene breath. Youth has passions enough, God knows, to excite it to sin, without its receiving the helping hand of experienced vice ; yet have I seen those who would not be content unless they could drag others into the vor- tex after them. One such J fell in with on my outset in life ; but, happily, I have only to remember him with disgust. The generality of our society on board was respect. able, and some of its members were men of education and talent. Excepting that there was no lady of the party, it was composed of the usual materials to be found at the cuddy .table of an outward bound Indiaman. First, there was a puisne judge, intrenched in all the dignity ofa dispenser. of law to his majesty's loving subjects be yond the Cape, with a DmiH tell me kind of face, a ma gisterial air, and dictatorial manner, ever more ready to lay down the law, than to lay down the lawyer. Then, there was a general officer appointed to the staff in In dia, in consideration of his services on Wimbledon Com- mon and at the Horse Guards, proceeding to teach the art mditary to the Indian army — a man of gentlemanly MILITARY ADVENTURE. ^'¦,' but rather pompous manners ; who, considering his sim ple nod equivalent to the bows of half a dozen subordi nates, could never swallow a glass of wine at dinner without lumping at least that number of officers or civi- lians in the invitation to join him, while his aid-de-camp practised the same airs among the cadets. Then, there was a proportion of civilians und Indian officers retum ing from furlough or sick certificate, with patched-up Uvers, and lank countenances, from which two winters oftheir native chmate had extracted only just sufficient sun-beams to leave them of a dirty lemon colour. Next, there were a few officers belonging to detachments of king's troops proceeding to join their regiments in India, looking, of course, with some degree of contempt on their brethren in arms, whose rank was bounded by the longi. tude ofthe Cape; but condescending to patronize some ofthe most gentlemanly of the cadets. These, with a free mariner, and no inconsiderable sprinkling of wri ters, cadets, and assistant.surgeons, together with the officers ofthe ship, who dined at the captain's table, form ed a party of about twenty-five. Ofthe above heterogeneous mass, the majority, as may be conjectured, were ultra-Tweeders, a people who, witli souls too big for their native land, claim the privilege of levying contributions on all the world, and of securing a Benjamin's portion of the loaves and fishes, in whatever region they are to be found. To counterbalance these, there was but one Irishman. Och ! and that waaenough ' another like him would have been the death of us (as Matthews says;) for he kept the cuddy -table ina roar throughout the voyage. Then w-e had one or two of your rattling, noisy, good-humoured, never.look-in.a- book chaps, such as, without a spark of imagination or wit, but with the most unprovokable and provoking good temper, joined to an inexhaustible fund of animal spi. rits, pass in the world for extremely pleasant fellows ; but who, in my opinion, are the greatest plagues in ex istence. We could boast, also, of professed practical jokers, dry matter-of- factors, punsters, prosers, and ever- 24 TWELVE years' ready laughers ; but, what was better than all, a few good listeners. Nor -was our society without its Bobadil ; and many a marvellous tale of tigers, elephants. Cobra de Capelloa, Mysoreans, Mahrattas, fire-eaters, and sword-eaters, have we youngsters listened to with open m6uths, till repetition had rendered them too stale even for a sea stomach. That there were some sensible well-inform ed men among so many may be supposed ; and that there was a black sheep or two in the flock cannot be denied. One ofthe latter was a most plausible, smooth tongued hypocrite, andthe other the most impudent cut- and-come.again fellow I ever encountered. Happily for us, however, two things were wanting. There was neither a mischief-maker, nor a professed duellist, so that we contrived to get to the end of our voyage without there being any balance on the score of honour to be settled with powder and ball. Alas ! of these my first companions in the voyage of life, above three-fourths are already gone to their long homes ; some have died a soldier's natural death on the field of battle ; some have fallen victims to the climate ; some few still toil on their way ; some few, like myself, have preferred poverty with half a hver to riches without any ; and some few, and those few indeed ! have gained the object of their ambi tion — a fortune ; but not one, perhaps with health to en joy it, or the sense to know how to spend it. I shaU not dwell upon the manner in which we passed our time on board ship — how we panted under the Line — how we rolled round the Cape, frequently with more soup in our laps than we could keep on our stomachs — how the back gammon-board rattled from morning till night — how we paced the quarter-deck, when the judge and gen- eral did not take it all to themselves — how we fished for sharks — how we speared dolphins, porpoises, and alba- cores ; — nor shall I attempt to paint the pictured agonies ofthe dying dolphins, already so beautifully described by Falconer; nor the nobler and more potent struggles ofthe greedy, daring shark, to do justice to which would require the pen of a Homer. Neither shall I swell my MILITARY ADVENTURE. 25 pages with an account of the visit we received from Fa* ther Neptune on crossing the Line, with the ceremonial attending it, as that subject is stale ; nor detail all ihe jokes, practical and verbal, which we played upon each other, except one of the former; and if it amuses she reader half as much as it did me, I shall be content. There was a lazy fat fellow amongst us, who was alway? lolling or sleeping on the hen-coops, upon whom we re solved to play a trick : so, seizing an opportunity when hr- was snug on his customary roost, we planted ourselves, w .h buckets of water, just over him. At a signal given, he was jerked off the coop, and soused from head to foot with such a full and successive torrent ofthe briny fluid, accompanied by a cry of, " Man overboard ! Rope ! rope ! Down with the helm !" &c. that he actually struck out as if swimming for his life ; till a failure in the supply of wa ter, succeeded by peals of laughter, brought him to a sense of his situatioB. The captain of our ship was a gentlemanly, Uberal man, and did every thing in his power to render us com. fortable. He kept a good table, and seldom took advan- tage of a gale of wind to put us off with a sea.pie. For my part, my father having stipulated that I should be pro vided with a cabin to myself, and having supplied me with abundance of books, my time was passed both pleasantly and profitably. Having had somewhat ofa mathematical education, I frequently exercised myself in taking celes. tial observations with the officers ofthe ship, those ofthe East India Company's service being considered, of all others, the best navigators, although, from their being almost always in the open seas, their merit as seamen may not be equally great. We touched at Madeira just long enough for the captain to lay in his stock of London particular ; had upon the whole a good passage, nothing, that I can recollect having occurred beyond what is com mon in similar voyages, and cast anchor in Madras Roads in less than five months after we quitted England. 26 TWELVE years' CHAPTER HI. Appearance of Madras. — Landing. — Assailed by swarms of Native Servants, — Amusements of Sailors ashore. — rAuthor repairs to the Fort to deliver his credi'iitials. — Remarks on entering the Fortress. — Reception at the AdjutHnt-general's office, — Return to the Hotel, and description of it. — Musquitoes. — Anecdote of a young lady. — Returns lo the ship in search of his bagsrage. — Ex tortion of the Massuli-boat boys. — Delivers his letters of intro duction. — Is invited to the liouse of the Chief Engineer. — Chooses the Engineer Corps. — R moves to quarters in the Fort. — Soci ety ofthe Presidency, — Anecdote ofa Scotch Cadet. — Public day at a Regimental Mess. The most dreary spot in existence will always appear delightful to the eye fatigued with long gazing on the same object. Any novelty must be charming to the mind wearied with a constant repetition of the same scenes ; any exercise must be refreshing to the body long pent up within narrow limits. It is not, then, a matter of surprise that almost all navigators should paint the spot at which they first touch after a long voyage, more in the colours of imagination, than in those of re ality ; as the el dorado of their ideas. Indeed it must require all this, and more, to describe the approach to the coast of Coromandel as any thing strikingly beauti ful. A few straggling cocoa-nut trees, rising out of the haze of a tropical horizon, are all that at first strikes the eye, till a closer approximation shows a low line of Coast, . backed at a considerable distance by a range of moun tains of no great height. But, when you have approach ed sufficiently near to distinguish the buildings of Ma dras, with Saint Thomas' mount in the back.ground, the coup d'ceil, may be pronounced, if not grand, at least novel and pleasing. Of catamarans, massuU-boats, &c. &c. I shall not attempt to give any description, as those subjects havr' MILITARY ADVENTURE, 27 long since been exhausted ; but, assuming that the reader is as much tired of the sea as I was, I shall e'en jump over surf and all, and carry him ashore as fast as I can. My feeUngs on landing I need not describe. They were, of course, not such as I should have experienced at set- ting foot on my native soil ; but still they were far from unpleasing. A new world was before me ; and a pocket full of letters of introduction was all I had to supply the place of home, parents, and friends. But hope, the morning star of life, shone on my path, and that was enough to cheer the prospect. The swarm of natives who assail you on landing, with testimonials of character, as fair as had once been the paper on which thev were written, each endeavouring to fix himself upon you as your dubash or factotum, and actually quarrelling like vultures for their prey, would give him who judges by the surface of things but an un favourable opinion of the people among whom it is his "lot to be thrown. Breaking our way through the crowd, I, aud two or three of my shipmates'threw ourselves into palanquins, and desired one of these officious gentlemen to show us to an hotel. Proceeding thither, in this, to us, novel conveyance, we were nearly run over by a couple of drunken tars in a gig, who hiccuped out their excuses with a " Please your honour she won't steer." We also encountered two or three more of the same amphibious. animals (fof there was a man of war in the roads,) jaunting about in palanquins, with a leg out of the door on either side, each attended by his dubash, who acted in the triple capacity of purse-bearer, guide, and mercury. Heedless wretches ! who think to make up, by an hour's dissipation and extravagance, for months of slavery and privation. Having partaken of a luncheon (called tijffin, in India,) consisting of muUagatawny and grilled chicken, we set off on foot to the Fort, to deliver our credentials. One df those fine sun-shiny mornings which are occasionally experienced in India, (i. e. about thre^hundred and fifty days in the twelve months,) — a deUghtful westerly breeze, loaded with the refreshing warmth of one himdred miles 28 TWELVE years' of flat countiy (called a land-wind,) and a dry yellow- soil, which, whUe it reflected the brilliant rays of the sun, sent their genial heat even through the soles of our shoes — rendered our walk across the esplanade such as cannot be described, nor even .imagined, unless by one who has enjoyed the promenade mider a similar combi nation of delightful circumstances. On entering Fort St. George, which being built on the best principles of the art, may be considered as a very strong place, I was not a little struck with the succession of outworks and draw .bridges, and the number of angular walls and deep moats which we had to pass, and to which I had never before seen any thing similar, although it was all familiar to me on paper. Then there was the stiff sentry meet ing you at every turn, and the stiff guard drawn out to salute the stiff general. In short, every thing within the garrison had an air of rigidity about it, which, though it might add to the " pomp and circurastance of war," could not awaken any very pleasurable sensations, or excite' any flattering anticipation, in those who felt that they were soon to become the objects, if not the victims, of its disciphne. Strange ! thought I, that there should be so much greater a display of military parade in the estab- lishment of a company of merchants, than ever I have witnessed in any garrison belonging to his Britannic' Ma jesty in England ! I did not stop to consider, that the difference arose, not in the consitution of their military bodies, but in the situation in which they acted ; the one as raembers of a free country, the other as tools of a despotic government. The e%ct thus produced on our minds was not at all lessened on entering the adjutant-general's office, where, characteristically encased in a bomb-proof, on the sea face of the fort, sate this awful functionary and his de puties, with their coats buttoned up to their chins, and the thermometer at 90°, in all tbe stiffness of starch, pipe. clay, pomatum, and importance. The feelings of awe with which we passed the thres hold of this sanctuary of discipline were somewhat re- lieved by the address of Colonel Agnew, the then adju. MILITARY ADVENTURE. 29 (ant-general, who, to considerable talent, joined, when it pleased him, a peculiar suavity of manner, which a letter of introduction drew forth more particularly to my- self, and which might have succeeded in setting us a lit tle at our ease, if we had not, at the same time, seen a young officer, who had come into the office on businessj* roughly reprimanded (India-Anglice wigged) by a zea- lous jack.in-office of* a deputy, for presuming to have his neckcloth more than one twelfth of an inch above his stock : which exercise of authority, in apparently so trivial a circumstance, impressed us with a conviction that, however the individual in power might relax, the system was still one foreboding but little comfort to those who had exchanged ' hberty for a red coat. On taking our leave, we were told that tents would be pitch. ed on the glacis for the reception of the cadets in the course of the evening, and that every thing would be there provided for their accommodation, till forwarded to the Cadet Company, that praiseworthy institution (now very properly done away with,) where boys were kept together to make still greater boys of each other, instead of being sent off to their regiments to be made men of. As I had nothing to do with that concern, I preferred re. turning to my hotel in the Black Town, and in this per. haps I was wrong, for the place in which I had taken up my quarters proved to be really a hot hell, which admi rable pun, notwithstanding Mr. Matthews has introduced it in his Trip to America, I have a right to call my own, being able to prove by two credible witnesses, now lue' '* ly alive, that the same was uttered by me on this veiy occasion, full twenty years before the said Mr. Mat. thews ever crossed the Atlantic. Happily, Indian hos. pitality prevented the place being frequented by respec. table persons ; for it was just such a hole as you would suppose a cannibal gourmand would select for preparing the livers of such human geese as he intended should supply him with the materiel of a paii de foie gras. Here I passed the night in a bed which might bc called ' a chop.house for musquitoes, where fresh tender Euro pean flesh was regularly served up to them on the arri- 3* 30 TWELVE YEARS' val of a fleet, just as Aldermen are regaled at the City of London Tavern on the landing of a fresh batch of turtle from the West Indies, To be sure, there was some pretence of excluding these voracious animals by what are termed musquito.curtains ; but they only served like the walls of the tavern aforesaid, to exclude the vul- gar herd, while a set party of old hands, aware of the repast which awaited them, had taken care to secure a berth within. This tormenting insect,, happily known by report only in England, is justly an object of dread to all new comers, A young lady from the Highlands of Scotland, having had her imagination worked upon during the voyage by the terrible description given of it by the officers of the ship, who feel a pleasure in hoax ing the grifins ; and having heard, by some means, that it had a proboscis or trunk, on seeing an elephant near the beach where they landed, exclaiihed, as she caught the arm of one of the passengers for protection, " Is that the animal ye caw a muskeetee ?" But to, return to myself; what with the incessant ef forts of my tormentors, a dry tongue, and a feverish Mtin,. (the consequences of a slight jollification with a party of shipmates the preceding evening,) as may be supposed,. I had but little sleep the first night of my ar rival. The next morning, after partaking of an Indian breakfast, consisting of fresh fish and green tea, I re turned to the ship in quest of ray baggage. The mas- suli.boat boys, guessing that they had a Johnny New- come (griffins they are called in India) to deal with^ stopped the boat, apparently in a most dangerous situa tion, between two of those tremendous surfs, intimating that they would not move an inch if I did not give thera a douceur ; with which piece of extortion, fof want of the means of chastising them, and desirous to preserve myself from a ducking, I thought it best to comply. As soon as I had cleared my effects at the Custom.house, and lodged them safely at the tavern, I set off in a pa- lanquin, to present some of my letters of introduction, without which a cadet would as soon think of embarking for India, as a soldier would of going into battle without MILITARY ADVENTURE. 31 anmiunition, and of which I had not a few. One of the first I delivered was to Colonel Trapaud, chief engineer, who kindly invited me to take up my abode at his house > Here then I was as comfortable (if that word can pos- sibly be applied to the native of a cold climate under th& 12th degree of latitude at the hottest season of the year^ suffering from the prickly heat by day, and from mus. quitoes by night ; well then, as much at my ease) a.s could be expected, in a garden-house about two miles from Fort St. George, in the month of July. My choice of a profession lay between the Engineer and Artillery Corps ; and I preferred the former, contrary, I must say, to the advice of by far the greater part of my friends ; for the promotion was then very rapid in the artillery, while the engineers were rather at a low ebb. Of this resolution, however, I have had since no cause to repent ; for, though in the artillery I should in three years have been a Captain, which rank it took me ten years to attain in the engineers, yet, besides having a penchant for the latter service, the nature of the duty gave me a degree of liberty and independence unknown in the other branches of the mditary profession, while it afforded better opportunities of acquiring a compe tence — the chief object of every European who adven tures beyond the Cape. Not wishing to be a burthen on my kind host, I re moved, shortly after my appointment, to the engineers' quarters in. the Fort, which, though they would be call. ed good in English barracks, afforded none of the means of enjoying either comfort or ease in a tropical climate. My military duties, which then only consisted in attend ing the engineers' office for a few hours in the day to exhibit" my talents at plan-drawing, &c. interfered not at all with a full enjoyment of the society of the settle. ment, to which my numerous letters of introduction pro. cured me access ; so that, in passing my evenings, I was luckily not thrown upon my own resources. Not having been of an age to mix much in company before I left England, I had no prejudices or preconceived no. tions of etiquette, to prevent my embracing society on 32 TWELVE years' its own terms. I did not expect that a member of conn ed, or a general officer, should pay his rejects to me before I accepted his hospitality. I regularly paid my court at the breakfast-tables of the great, it being the custom for persons of distinction to hold a kuid of levee at that meal ; and I was a frequent guest at the houses of almost all the principal inhabitants, civd and mditary ; so that, with balls and parties two or three tiraes a week, I passed my time gaily enough. Others, better versed in the forms of high life, or naturally more fastidious, might quarrel with the system of society at Madras ; but youth are easily pleased, and may, in my opinion, with out any sacrifice of independence, circumstanced as I was, fairly partake of the hospitality of those above them, although it cannot be in their power to return it. Indeed the contrary line of conduct, in my mind, betrays a want of sense. I recollect a young Scotch cadet, who had probably read Macklin's Man of the World on the passage out till he had made up his mind not to be a Sir Pertinax, being invited, as usual, on joining his regi ment, to breakfast with the commanding officer, reply ing ; " Nay, I thank ye, sar, I've tea and sugar of my ane at hame." Among other invitations to dinner, I received one from a shipmate, whose regiment, one of his majesty's, formed part of the garrison. It was what is called a public day at the mess, when the members generally ask such of their friends as they please. My military reader will excuse me, if I give a description of it for the amuse ment of my civil one. I arrived about seven o'clock, just as the druras were playing " Roast Beef of old England," the regular sig nal that dinner is dishing. On my entrance, 1 found most of the officers and some guests assembled in the veranda, which extended, along the front of the mess- room, some pacing up and down, and some lolling in chairs with their legs np against the pillars, trying to in hale the last puffs ofthe sea-breeze 'which had seth) about three or four hours before. The guests were asked to take a glass of wine before dinner, and Madei- MILITARY ADVENTURE. 33 ra was handed round. Soon after, a fat portly native butler, with large ear .rings, announced the dinner, which was spread on a table extending the whole length of a long room, from the ceding of which depended a pun. kah. A good display of plate, presented by the House of Assembly of some West India island where the regi- ment had been stationed, ornamented the board, at which the company were not long in seating themselves. Af ter the usual removes of fish and soup, appeared a tre- mendous turkey, which, to use a sailor's expression, could eeisdy have hoisted on board a full-sized Norfolk bird of the same species. Opposite to this by no means rara avis of a large dinner-party, (for an Enghsh club might just as well be without its parson, or a city feast ¦without its turtle, as a public dinner in India without its turkey,) stood its never-failing companion, a huge ham, in point of size as near a match to the bird as the Euro pean shops could supply. What the other dishes were I did not particularly notice ; but of this we may be pretty certain, that there was a tolerable sprinkling of curry and rice up and down the table. Each person was waited upon by his own servant, who stood behind his master's chair ; so that a regular rear rank was formed for the exclusion of the external air ; that which was exhaled by the lungs of the party and ¦ their betel- mouthed attendants being bandied about from mouth to mouth by the vibrations of the punkph. The work of destruction was not long in commencing, and a toleJ"ably brisk fire was kept up by the front rank sitting, with this difference frora the field-day practice, that the rear rank, instead of joining in the fire, only supplied the front rank with ammunition. If one who had read Bruce's Travels, but had known nothing of the costume of the natives of India, whose long garments resemble those of women in our country, had been suddenly set down at an Indian mess.table, he would actually have supposed himself for a moment to be at the feast of Abyssinians described by that inge- nious traveller ; with this difference, that the ladies era- ployed in cramming the males, instead of being seated 34 TWELVE YEARS' between them, had taken post behind." The conversa tion was much as usual at tables where there are no fe- males. Amidst the clatter of knives and forks and plates would now and then be heard, " Mootoo, take my plate for some turkev and ham" — " Bring me the cuny and rice, Ramsammv" — " A glass of wine, Hopkins'?" ^" Wdl your friend' jom us f" — " Thompson, we won't make a bridge of vour nose" — " Colonel wants tsike a glass of wine with Master,"' (Sec. (kc. .The dinner passed off as dinnere in general do, ^d I observed no. thing particular, except that over the national dish of plum-pudding was emptied a bottle of cherry bounce. The cloth being removed, hookas made their appear- ance behind the chairs of some of the party — some, I say, for not memy officers can afford that expensive ap. pondage, which, besides the cost of the chelum, the compound smoked, requires an attendant to itself. ' A squad of sergeants no'>v entered ^lith the orderly-books of their companies for the inspection of the officers, which drew forth a few " D n Bores I" tn sotto voce, no doubt in allusion to a drill the next moming. The room being cleared, and the bottles (among which Car bonel in his magnum bonums stood conspicuous) mar shalled in their glaces, the president gave "The La dies," to which the band stationed in the veranda struck up " Kiss my Lady." Then came " The King," with the national anthem ; " The Duke of York and the Ar- my" — Peace to his manes ! If the number of glasses of wine which have been swallowed to his health with hearty good wdl, for the third of a century that he had been commander-in.chief, could have conferred that blessing, he wotdd have hved as long as the king, who, in his constitutional capacitv, never dies. — Then fol lowed " The Duke of Clarence and the Navy," with " Rule Britannia ;" " The Honourable Company-," tune, " Money in both pockets :" •• Lord WeUesley ;" " Lord Chve ;" " Lord Lake and the Army in India ;" and so on, through the regular set toasts ; when the president rose, and, v.ixh the usual premisal of " Off heel-taps, gentlemen," gave, as a bumper toast, «' General Baird MILITARY ADVENTURE. 3.) and the heroes of Seringapatam." This was drunk standing, and in the three times three which followed, some sighs escaped to the memoiy of those of the re giment who had fallen on that occasion. Then were given some toasts complimentarv to persons present, " General and his Majesty's regiment ;" " Mt. Malony, your good health." Air. Malony's health was re-echoed along the table, and !Mr. Malony bowed, and bowed. " Admiral and the squadron in India." Lieut. of the Doris remrned thanks. " General and the Hon. Company's regiment of Na tive Infantry." Major Yellowchaps acknowledged the compliment, and in return gave " General and hi* Majesty's regiment," on which the Lieut.. Colonel and officers bowed, and the band struck up the regi mental air. The volleys of toasts being now ended, an independent fire was kept up along the table, in the mo mentary intervals of which might be heard the bubbling of the hooka, while the " Pass the bottle" of the presi dent, " More wine, Mr. Vice," rose occasionally above the buz of conversation, which consisted mostly of " Jenkins of ours, and Tomkins of y ours ;" till the pre. sident, with a rap on the table, commanding sdence, begged to call on Captain for a song. The Cap tain, after a few hems, sung a good song in good stvle, and received the acknowledgments of the company by a general thumping of fists on the table. Captain 's health and song havii^ been drunk, and the band having played a tune, whether by wav of drowning the cries of the wounded bottles, which poured from their mouths tides of the purple fluid, or to conceal the non sense that was spoken — for, in the language of Anstey-, I freely confess that I claret preferr'd To all the genteel conrersation I heard — I could not ascertain. Captain then called ou some one else for a song ; and so it went on, song, health, and tune, through the evening, tiU those who could not sing, as well as those who could, were com- 36 TWELVE years' pelled to contribute their quota to the general amuse - mlent, either as the causes or the subjects of mirth. About ten o'clock the Colonel, his guest Major Yel lowchaps, and some others, having retired, a few choice spirits closed in on the president, apparentiy determined to keep it up ; previously to which, however, sundry plates of olives, anchovy toast, and devilled biscuit, had disappeared ; and now the remains of the turkey made its appearance in the shape of a devil, to stir up a pret^ ty hell in the already inflamed stomachs of the party.'. After this, in spite of the admonition of " No parish, gentlemen," from the president, who was bound to keep himself sober, regimental matters came under discus. sion ; so, seizing the opportunity of a squabble between, the adjutant and a subaltern on the propriety of the lat ter being returned next for guard, I raade my escape, but not without being followed by a volley of " Shabby fellow!" "Milk-sop!" "Cock-tail!"