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YALE UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY From the
COLLECTION OF OXFORD BOOKS
made by
FALCONER MADAN
Bodley's Librarian

THE

NOTE BOOK

AN OXONIAN,

BY A LATE MEMBER OF

BRAZEN NOSE COLLEGE.
\ --J

' Qui vii sans folie, n' est pas si sage qu' il le croit!'
Rochefoucauld.

-" semita certe

TranquillsB per virtutem patet unica vitK.'' Juv.

; F.MADAN

1831. o^ J5'

JOHNSON, rRINIER) LrVEKPOOL.

PREFACE.

Be it known to subscribers and others, that
the author, who has always recorded his own
remarks for the mere sake of amusement, and
observed the manners of other people froiA
fancy, was induced to bring forward the follow
ing pages by the gentle admonitions of his
purse, which, from the awful pressure of the
times, has manifested in no slight degree, some
unequivocal symptoms ofa delicate decline: his
estate being threadbare, and his best coat shew
ing becoming marks of sympathy therewith, and
above all, the present " caules atque ignis
emendus," have in a measure compelled him to
book if. Every one is acquainted with the
story of the Sheffield button maker, who went
out on speculation to Constantinople witft a
cargo of his material, and found the Turks
never wore buttons ; the author, however, trusts
this volume may not meet with a fate similar to

iv PREFACE.
that which the stock of this unfortunate mer
chant experienced : he is aware that gomg
abroad is now so decidedly vulgar and low,
that he who has not travelled may make a more
rapid fortune by exhibiting himself as " the
monster who has never seen Fonthill Abbey,"
than the man who runs over to the Indies, and
immediately on his return, sends forth, hot
pressed, two goodly sized octavo volumes. Still
he gaily launches his little bark, regardless of
the impending storm, and vmmindful of the
sneers of those, who earn an occasional dinner
by idle and useless cavil.
August 27th, 1831.

CORRIGENDA.

P. L.
1 — 10 for temperamment read
11 — 16 — own colleges "
\T- — 4 — eleves "
71 — 10 — would appreciate "
87—14 — oiselle
92 — 14 — ceremonie "
-08 — 9 — lovliness
99 — 13 insert comma after however.
103 — 10 for consul's read
120 — — Signor read Senor, — -for Rhedezilla read Redezilla,
and for husquiaa read basqnina.
275 — 6 — gran-de read grande.

temperament. our own colleges.
eleves.
would not appreciate.
oseille. c6remonie.
loveliness. consuls'.

gine that age with its privileges, is the only stage
of life to be admired, who have never profited by
experience, and yet, through the appearance of
A

CHAPTER I.

Yet he would gladly halt, and drop
That boyish harness ofij to swop
With this world's heavy van ; —
To toil, to tug— O little fool!
Whilst thou canst be a horse at school.
To wish to be a man !
Ode to Clapham Academy.

It is wonderful with what an air of contempt
mankind in general are apt to treat the younger
part of the community, when they arrive at the
boasted period of discretionary years : they as
sume an appearance of severity, call their wis
dom into requisition, and with a peculiar selfish
ness, seem to take a pride in diminishing its
generous traits of character, and heightening its^
faults and follies. — The sanguine feelings, the
open manners, and temperamment chaud of
youth, instead of being wounded and stifled in
the birth, should be carefully nurtured and
pruned as occasion may require. Those who
seldom reflect on their younger days, and ima
gine that age with its privileges, is the only stage
of life to be admired, who have never profited by
experience, and yet, through the appearance of
A

2

having done so, consider themselves entitled to
respect, are lamentably deceived.
Early recollections affijrd the greatest plea
sure to the reflective imagination ; and those
who live on the memory of days gone by, will
not undervalue the "greenest spot" of life. I
remember a gentleman who had numbered some
seventy winters, when his frame was exhilarated
by a glass of generous wine, would repeat the
adventures of his youth, and the reminiscences
of early life, with a zest pecuhar to himself,
whilst a momentary energy, communicated by
the impulse of the heart, would now and then
shine forth despite his grey locks. He would
make allowances for the " wildness of youth,"
rather from the impression of his own youthful
sensations, stamped on his memorj', than from
the gratification he experienced at the time. —
He was no " budge doctor of the stoic fur," — no
damper of joyous spirits, because he could no
longer participate in their amusements — no Cato
on the aberrations of youth, under the mantle of
experience — no proser on the vanities of life,
withering generous emotions, and chiUing, with
an ill-assumed austerity, all benevolent and warm
hearted feeling : but he would dwell with con
scious pride on the lively aflFections and delights
of earlier years, whilst every youthful frolic he

witnessed, would suggest some memento of im
pressions once his own, which time had failed to
obHterate from his memory.
There are, no doubt, certain sensations and
recollections which cling around us as though
never to be eflfaced from the mind : when the
eye saw nothing but a world of beauty, and
every object shone forth fair and resplendent to
view : these still voices will naturally awaken
thoughts of being's early day, of loves past, of
hopes that have been realized or disappointed,
and of pleasures that are fled for ever ! — With
myself, however, when I consider the various
events of my past life, and compare the differ
ence of my present situation with that for which
I was intended, and once had within my grasp,
retrospection will rather suggest melancholy and
unpleasant ideas; nor will it be a matter of sur
prise, if on this account, the scenes I have to
pourtray, should appear crude and ill-digested.
To begin (as Aristotle says) from the begin
ning — at the commencement of the present cen
tury, I was ushered into this world of vicissi
tudes; and after running the gauntlet through
several "establishments," and serving some time
at a parson manufactory in Yorkshire, I was
entered at a public school, under the direction
of a very eminent scholar. Here I remained
a2

courting the Muses, and bituig my finger nails,
for five years. I do well remember, how oft my
friends would remind me, that the period of
youth was the happiest and the brightest part of
life ; and though my ideas did not agree with
their opinions at the time, yet the lapse of a few
intervening years has served fully to verify the
remark. How enviably have I since thought of
the petty trials which goaded me in those days
of comparative innocence ! How vainly have I
since dwelt on scenes which occurred during
those halcyon times ! the glorious remembrance
of many a holiday spent in the unconstrained
delight of nutting, trout catching, or squirrel
hunting, is consecrated in my memory, and al
though I have put aside the " vitae ludicra pris"
tinas," yet the recollection of my boyish pranks
and gambols often amuses my sohtary hours, and
calls forth a smile, even now in my riper years.
"'Twas on a summer's evening," when one of
our hopeful youthsyoMwe/ a pig straying at liber
ty in a neighbouring wood : — to see it unguard
ed and to covet it were simultaneous impressions.
Conceahng it therefore in a bag, he hurried
back with his prize, anticipating the applause
he so well merited. At a loss how to remove
the bristles, we had recourse to soap and the
razor, and though a shaven pig, he proved be-

yond all contradiction, that stolen pleasures are
far sweeter than those which are paid for "upon
compulsion." Having remained at school until I was nine
teen years of age, I had learned to make Latin
and Greek verses very prettily, and to construe
Juvenal, Thucydides, and a few others, and this
was the entire stock of learning I took with me
to college, to increase the general fund there.
The time arrived at last when I was to quit
these scenes of boyish delight, and enter upon
a wider course. Having with great perseverance
acquired the fashionable accomplishments of
smoking, and playing at billiards, I was freed
from the bonds of restraint, and admitted as a
commoner of Brazen Nose, Oxford, full willing
to launch into every excess, every vanity, and
the deepest vortex of extravagance. I was
brought up with the expectation of going to
Cambridge, but unfortunately, by the advice of
a friend, who had himself been wrecked on the
quicksands of that university, my views were
changed from the expanding powers of mathe
matics and Sir Isaac Newton, to the low quij)-
bles of Logic and Aristotle.

A3

CHAPTER II.

" Peregrinantur, rusticantur." Cie. pro Arch.

There is scarcely any period in life when a
man feels himself so much at liberty as when he
is first allowed to become the director of his own
actions, and to take into his own hands the ma
nagement of a certain allowance of " dibs." In
what a state of thraldom and slavery do the ma
jority of yoimg men fancy they have spent the
former part of their lives, and how often do they
determine afterwards, when freed from all res
triction, to act entirely as inclination may sug
gest. I arrived at the university in all the gaiety of
youthful spirits, anticipating the imposing effect
that a cap and gown would add to my figure,
and the weight of character it would give the
wearer, not considering that hundreds appeared
daily in tlie streets of Oxford in the same "prin-
cetta habiliments." It had always been a fa
vourite maxim with me at school, to consider
myself superior to the other boys, on account of
my varmint character ; and it was my determin-

ation to astonish the weak minds of my compeers,
being flattered by the remark, that there was no
appearance of the "freshman" about me, con
scious, at the same time, that I was " out and
out fresh." Men of my own standing would ex
claim — "look at C — , he sports his claret and
wax, his beaver on Sunday, and goes to chapel
in his hit of pink, ready to start for cover imme
diately after prayers." This was getting my
name up during my first term, but I managed
to place myself higher on the pinnacle of fame
before that term was over.
The suit of apartments at first allotted me
were freshman's rooms ; and certainly they had
nothing to prepossess me in their favour. They
were au cinquieme at least, and were appropri
ately denominated " the telegraph." It was in
these rooms I made my first essay at a wine
party, which proved anything but a failure. My
wine was procured in Oxford, but when I gave
my friends a hint that it came from London, or
that my claret was some of the governor's most
recondite, they were unanimously warm in its
praise, and evinced their capacity for drinking,
malgre their judgment. Towards midnight, the
the dreadful hallooing and shouting which burst
forth, reached the ears of the principal, who po
litely sent his compliments, and begged that my

8
friends might not be permitted to make such a
disturbance, as they alarmed the whole college:
but what could I effect smgly against a multi
tude ? the uproar continued, and the next morn
ing I received a severe reprimand. This, how
ever, was only the forerunner of much better
things. The following week, I attended closely
to my lectures, and obtained the thanks of my
tutor, but afterwards my innate devilry " burst
its continents," and again shone forth.
It was on my return one morning from lectures,
that I found two "suckers" very busily engaged
in my apartments, finishing a bottle of claret. —
" Ha ! my dear fellow," cried one of them, " I
have brought M — to taste your capital wine,
and beg pardon, but I just took the Uberty of
opening the bin vi et armis; however, we've a
lark to propose : come with us to Blenheim, and
you shall dine afterwards at New College, and
swallow as much gin-twist as you like — you know
our common room man is famous for brewing :
eh, what say you ? we have a prime drag and
rare cattle, and I know you are fond of toolmg."
"Done," said I, after this eloquent harangue,
and off we marched in beaver. Amongst other
things, M — had, unfortunately, a red cloth, and
when met by the proctor, we were greeted with
the eternal salutation, " Gentlemen, may I re-

9
quest you will return to your college, and put
on your academicals ; and you, Sir," turning to
M— , "do change that neckcloth." Thinking,
in our abundance of wisdom, to shirk the velvet,
we turned down a back street, when, oh ! the
fallacy of human foresight ! we again encounter
ed those ample sleeves, and were informed that,
unless we divested ourselves of the castor forth
with, aud arrayed the outer man in cap and
gown, our offence should be noticed in a more
serious manner. We complied immediately, but
resumed the beaver at the pike, where the * prime
drag and rare cattle' were in waiting. After
spending some time at Blenheim, we returned
to dine privately in New College, and to partake
of the gin-twist. When that most particularly
detestable fox's head had passed round rather
frequently, by dint of toasts and sconces, a per
son was announced as wishing to speak with our
host : " oh, come in, come in," cried C — , and
in stalked the " viridis senectus" of the coachman
of the London and Bath Magnet : I certainly
felt astonished, but continued silent, knowing
that it would be considered as a decided case of
green, if I had expressed my amazement : " oh,
it's you, is it," continued C — in the same strain,
"come, floor that jug of punch, and then I am
your man for a stroll ; and, I say, Trigg, you

10
shall sport academicals to gratify the proctor,
and I'll stand curtain and skimming dish for you,"
Of course, we all acceded uproariously to this
proposition, and when master Trigg had. floored
his quart of punch, we sallied forth into the
High Street. We had not proceeded far, when
the "spatium admirabile" of a bull-dog, or proc
tor's myrmidon, intimated in significant terms,
that his employer was desirous of speaking to
us. Whilst in the act of crossing over the street,
Trigg managed to throw off his S. C. L. gown
into the gutter, and though the bull-dogs swore
vehemently that "he was the man as had the
academics on," he was dismissed with a repri
mand only, whilst we, on the contrary, were de
sired to call the following morning, at the proc
tor's rooms, Worcester College, and to return
immediately to our respective apartments, and
stay there.
The next day, we were punctual in obeying
these orders, and had sufficient leisure to make
our observations in the room of the dictator, be
fore he appeared : — his breakfast equipage was
on the table, and though I laboured under a se
vere head-ache at the time, a natural conse
quence arising from sundry pulls at the fox's
head the previous evening, I could not help re
marking in a sotto voce to M— , who stood near.

11

"I am morally certain that the man who owns
that crockery, will never shew us any mercy :''
let the reader picture to the imagination, a most
ungenteelly hideous and wastrel set of blue
earthenware, mounted on a tin tray, which prob
ably ^ac?Jee» japanned in thedays of the Noachi-
diE, and this will afford some idea of the style of
homunculus we visited. After some time, his
"mightiness" stalked forth from an inner room
in aU the pride and power of office. Numerous
apologies, coupled with the most positive pro
mises oi reform, were offered without avail; and
he informed us, blinking at the same time with
his unmeaning grey eyes, that we were rusticated
for six months, with the consent of the heads of
own colleges, and by his express desire. This
was a blow totally unexpected ; and I am con
vinced to this day, wholly unmerited. However,
I have since discovered, that this sprig elect of
the society and fellows of Worcester, treated a
" white he" as a mere bagatelle, for the greatest
part of his windy verbosity was entirely incon
sistent with the truth. By virtue of certain pri
vileges, with which New College is endowed,
no one, whatever be his rank or authority in the
university, can rusticate or expel a member be
longing to that society, unless he should succeed
in obtaining the consent of each and every one

12
of fhe seventy fellows. In the present instance,
the warden of New College would not allow the
proctor to encroach upon the privileges of that
body, whose head he was ; and as M — and my
self were only hable to punishment in an equal
proportion with C — , the dictum of the proctor
was rendered null and void.
We took our departure from Worcester with
our visages more elongated than ever, and held
a consultation as to the best plan to adopt in
the present emergency. For my own part, I
mechanically took the route to my rooms, as also
did M — to his, who was likewise a Brazen Nose
man, and upon our arrival, were informed by
the porter, that the principal requested an inter
view with us immediately. I readily divined the
purport of this message, but had no conception
at the time how impressive the ceremony of rus
tication was. Our worthy dons at first coincided
with the proctor, but when they understood that
the warden of New College would not counten
ance the measure, they determined to send us
into the country during the vacation, without
hinting at the possibility of our return before
six months had elapsed. My friend M — and
myself were ushered into a library in the princi
pal's house, and at the moment of entrance, had
a charming coup d'oeil of that "monstrum hor-

13

rendum inform" y'clept a seniority ; indeed we
were fully aware that there was very formidable
work cut out for us. The entire apartment was
crowded with "big wigs :" principal, vice ditto,
tutors, deans, lecturers, bursars, junior deans,
sub-bursars, and bishops in embryo, for aught
I know, were pitted against us in fearful array.
The odds were terrific. After a long oration
from the principal, seconded by the whole posse
of dons before mentioned, we were dismissed
with an injunction to quit the university before
twelve o'clock, for the space of six months, other
wise, if detected within or near the precincts of
Alma Mater after that time, we were to be ex
pelled sine mora.
From Oxford I went to town, where, as a se-
quitur, I frequented the theatres, the opera, and
Tattersall's : I became a Maecenas of boxers
and the tennis courts ; in short, to become a
gentleman of the fancy was the ne phis of my
ambition : — to have a knowledge of, and to be
recognized by prize-fighters, what a distinction,
what an enviable distinction I thought it ! I
threw the light of my countenance upon these
fellows, and patronized these heroes of the ring,
to the utmost of my ability, and so far from con
sidering it a disgrace, I thought it an honour to
B

14
be connected with a set of beings in whose train
I could enumerate peers and nobs.
After spending the greater part of the Easter
vacation in this style, inclination led me to take
a trip to Cambridge, by way of pohshing up old
acquaintance, and of discovering which univer
sity of the two produced the most varmint men.
A few short hours brought me to the Red Lion,
near St. John's, and I was soon surrounded by
the well-known faces of my earlier friends, who
seemed to vie with each other during my visit,
in devising schemes for my entertainment. The
good songs I had learned in Oxford were sport
ed at many of the wine parties to which I was
invited, and the store of " bon mots," culled here
and there, were brought forward as opportunity
might serve, knowing that a "jest's prosperity"
depends, in a great measure, upon the nick of
time in which it is introduced. These accom
plishments, joined with the indispensable one of
being able to tell a good story over a bottle,
soon procured for me the distinction of "a good
fellow ;" but httle did 1 thmk at the moment,
that this cursed mistake had, before my time,
worked the ruin of thousands, and would even
tually prove the very rock, on which, at no
distant period, I should be cast away.

15

In a short time, permission was granted for
my return to college ; but the desire of render
ing myself conspicuous, which I had imbibed,
had almost eradicated all laudable ambition of
doing myself credit, and I commenced the next
term with no spark of emulation within my
breast, but only with the mistaken idea of qua
lifying myself for the church, " more Romano,"
by learning to tie a cravat, drive a tandem, drink
claret, and make bad puns. Thus the seeds of
future misery and misfiDrtune were sown, and in
a short season yielded an abundant harvest. I
must now submit, through my madness, to see
those individuals, whom I once considered as
immeasurably beneath my notice, enjoy the re
wards of their patience and perseverance, whilst
I can only deplore my own reckless folly, which
has led me so heedlessly and eagerly to the
brink of a fearful and hideous precipice.

B 2

CHAPTER HL

" Till gowns are found at length mere masquerade ;
The tassell'd cap and the spruce band a jest,
A mock'ry of the world. What need of these
For gamesters, jockies.
Spendthrifts, and booted sportsmen, oft'ner seen
With belted waist and pointers at their heels.
Than in the bounds of duty ?" Cowper.

Whoever has been in "merry Oxford," or
knows anything about it, will most probably
have met with a hundred mis-conceptions and
immoderately stupid ideas concerning Oxford
and Oxford men, and everything appertaining
to Oxford, from those who are entirely igno
rant in such matters. No man ever went down
to spend his vacation in the country, without
being posed by a multitude of questions, and
startled by anticipations of all that is to be seen
in this wonderful place. " Can a student hve
at Oxford under seven or eight hundred a
year? Are ladies ever permitted to enter the
college gates?" and "Who makes your break
fast?" are questions which I have frequently
heard; but they were easily answered by hint
ing respectively, and in a vague sort of manner,
that it was possible to exist on a less sum, that

17
all ladies who had not thick ankles were admit
ted into college about dinner time, to see the men
feed, and that the tutors were the individuals
appointed to prepare breakfast for their eleves.
It is a common opinion amongst the multi
tude, that mirth, riot, and devilry, joviality,
and dissipation, are continually carried on with
in the walls of Alma Mater ; but the reverse is
principally the case, and in most instances a
monastic life were better by half. When
" merrie Oxforde" was the principal seat of
the learning and literature which England pos
sessed; when logic and classics were not con
sidered the entire business of life, and literary
men and the renown of the university went
forth into all the world ; when Dons aud men
of letters were a right jovial and rubicund bro
therhood ; when wine and wit were blended
in the learned and laughter-loving Walter de
Mapes, who could neither " make sermons,"
nor "write fasting:" then was the golden age
of Rhedycina ! Farewell, old De Mapes, thy
day has passed by, and the wits of the Oxford
sausage are no more ; yet still there is as much
wine, and strong wine too, the
— — " Mero
Pontificum potiore coenis,"
b3

18
swallowed by thy successors as heretofore, as
numerous short, rosy-faced, and oily counten
ances can at this moment testify: but the red
potation is taken in dogged silence. There is
now no candid praise of the enlivening juice,
no confession and praise like thy much admired
Bacchanal chaunt,
" A glass of wine amazingly
Enlighteneth one's internals :
'Tis wings redden'd with nectar
That fly up to supernals."
That mistaken notions have gone abroad res
pecting this venerable seat of learning, the fol
lowing anecdote will verify. — The maid of a
certain lady begged of her dear mistress not by
any means to go through Oxford, on her route
from town to Cheltenham. She stoutly asserted
that " it was the horriblest place in the 'versal
world, where all the harum scarum collegers
went about at nights in black masks and red
cloaks, and that every disorderly person was
locked up in prisons they called common rooms,
and that all modest females, or men, if they
had petticoats on, were sure to be kissed and
stared at ; and that it was all true, for a young
gentleman from Oxford had told her so himself."
The truth is, no place has been more gener
ally misrepresented than Oxford, for though

19
she possesses her advantages and disadvantages,
her recreations, bores, and rewards, yet it is not
the Paradise which many have described it to
be, neither is it " such a hole" as others main
tain.— To render life tolerable, it is not abso
lutely necessary to keep five or six hunters
nor to sport Champagne on every occasion, nor
again to pore over musty tomes " in studious
cloister pale," till obliged to damp the brain
with moistened towels: there are wine parties,
and water parties, cricket, billiards, and gam-
bhng, pigeon matches, shooting matches, and
driving matches for the gay ; whilst free access
to the libraries, museum, observatories, picture
galleries, and gardens, affords a pleasing variety
and relaxation from study to the individual,
who, for the consideration of eminent distinc
tion, or provision for life, devotes fourteen hours
out of the twenty-four to the closest application.
With all these resources, one would imagine
that nothing could be wanting to render an
Oxford life the most delightful mode of exist
ence in the world : yet there is one drawback
which renders its pleasures incomplete, — the
want of female society. Herein consists the
lamentable deficiency, which causes the greater
part of the members of the university to curse
their stars, and the governor s obstinacy, which

20
thus condemns them to "eke out existence"
above half the year amongst black gowns and
trencher caps, senior fellows and dead lan
guages. After passing my " Little go," or first pub
lic examination in the schools, according to the
general practice, I issued cards for a numerous
wine party. On the appointed day, when din
ner had been concluded in hall, I found myself
surrounded by some three or four dozen caitiffs
whom I had invited to celebrate my triumph.
The doors were locked, and the song and toast
passed round, whilst the sconces were emptied
with a fearful rapidity. Three words of Latin,
and two of Greek, subjected the unfortunate
perpetrator to the penalty of a bumper; and
numerous were the attempts at classical puns,
which called for the rigid enforcement of this
salutary "stopper" to the floodgates of muti
lated " shreds and patches," hiccuped forth in
these languages. We adjourned to supper at
an early hour, that the out college men might
have some chance of "knocking out" before
midnight, which was the ultima Thule allowed
them by sapient authorities to remain within
the walls. The spread, which consisted of all
the provocatives to appetite, and all the crea
tors of thirst, which the Apician skill of the

21

college maitre de cuisine could furnish, was
tastefully arranged in a suite of apartments op
posite to my own, to save trouble and inconve
nience, and plentifully embellished with massive
plate, bequeathed to the college by defunct
Dons and Fellows, now once more brought to
light by the butler of the buttery, to witness
our mirth and joviality. The cookery was un
deniable, the " swig" excellent, the guests were
merry, and the scouts looked sweet, anticipating
a few bottles of wine as a reward for their ex
tra trouble.
In the meantime, a fresh display had been
laid out in my own room; and upon our return,
we beheld a sight which would have overcome
the fastidiousness of the most abstemious, and
warmed the heart of the most Epicurean tip
pler. Bishop, " Gallinaceous," and Cardinal
steamed forth their delightful odours ; and
punch of sorts smoked in huge silver bowls,
on different parts of the lengthened table,
whilst ever and anon the common room man,
with his rosy gills redolent of fat ale, would
replenish these Bacchanalian reservoirs, and
smack his lips as he expatiated on the excel
lence of his brewing. At the "witching time
of night," when out college men had taken their
departure, we gave ourselves up to the "flow

22
of soul," and the confusion that ensued beg
gars description : sparring, wrestling, smoking,
drinking, singing, and key bugling, combined
to render the scene a complete Babel of Babels.
Towards morning it became exceedingly diflS-
cult to sing a solo, from the propensity of the
hearers to co-operate in whatever they heard:
some folded the tables together, still covered
with glasses and decanters, and others went out
with the laudable intention of painting the sta
tue in the quadrangle, and preaching " the re
miniscences" of the last Sunday's sermon from
the pedestal. Murmurs of " no daylight," and
" floor your liquors," seemed to float around,
and all was silent.
In the morning, as I hurried to chapel, a
most revolting sight met my view : the frag
ments of meerschaum pipes, chairs, glasses,
windows, pictures, and mirrors were scattered
on all sides, whilst the carpets were saturated
'Vcith puddles of wine and spirits, the wreck of
the previous evening's debauch. Six or " seven
sleepers" were still snoring in the midst of this
heterogeneous confusion, and the visages of
several were encrusted with the marks of the
disorder under which they had laboured, I
turned aside with a heavy heart, and comparing
the disgusting scene before me with the peace-

23
fill state of my own home, could not fail to
draw but one conclusion.
During my career at the university, gaming
was carried on to a considerable extent: bil
liards, cards, and dice were all in great requi
sition ; and one well known gownsman kept a
regular rouge et noir table. — On my return
from hunting one evening, I found a card of
invitation, in the following laconic terms :
woXixXauros 'avoiyirai 'Aidrjg.
and underneath was the name of the party who
gave this "feast of Mammon," Loo was the
principal game, and at one time five hundred
pounds were staked, in bills, and the respective
parties playing were not possessed of more than
two-thirds of that sum per annum. This was
the style in which the war was carried on :
youths who could not afford to give small beer
sported claret and Champagne, and those who
could scarcely muster the money to pay the
coach fare at the end of term, continually nag
ged it in red rag with the Duke of Beaufort,
or Sir Thomas Mostyn. "Tick" was the
secret main spring by which all these impos-.
sibihties were worked, unlimited tick! Men
who never had the most distant idea of paying,
were alike indifferent whether a guinea or half
a crown was chalked up for a bottle of wine, or

24
whether they exceeded their income by a hun
dred or a thousand.
But in addition to all this, a man may find
numerous ways of amusing himself; he may
take an interest, if inclination leads him, in
horse races, steeple chases, boat races, badger
baits, and dog fighting: he may walk about
" from morn till dewy eve," with twenty pounds
of gun metal on his shoulder, led by a dog, like
a blind man, and come home and tell lies over
a bottle about the exploits of the day. Should
he excel in driving, he may either "work" a
tandem to Banbury, or " wagon" a night coach
from Long Compton: he may saunter in the
High street, where he will meet with a crowd
of fellow ephemerals. In this grand Mall of
Oxford are loungers of every description; ad
mirers of coaches and coachmanship, admirers
of themselves and others, and admirers of no
thing at all ; frequenters of pastry cooks and
print shops, booksellers and oyster shops : but
it forms the general rendezvous for brothers of
the whip, who formerly constituted a numerous
fraternity. The leading virtue of this class was
humility : to dress hke a coachman, and to talk
like one, was the criterion of the sect. Horace's
dust collecting curricle drivers were mere chick
ens compared to these youths : their magna-

25

nimity and contempt of death were daily exhi
bited in the cool indifference with which they
overthrew and ran over whatever crossed their
path, — poultry, old women, pigs, or children ;
nor was it less manifest in the sang froid with
which they jeered a companion upset in a ditch'
or worsted in a trial of strength between his
axle tree and a turnpike gate.
Amongst many of the undergraduates, Sun
day morning was set aside exclusively and espe
cially for the purpose of gormandizing a given
quantity of beefsteaks, sausages, and other edi
bles. These gastronomic feats were usually
crowned with Champagne, and not unfrequently
prolonged by this incentive till nearly the hour
of dinner : the merits and demerits of tutors,
horses, dogs, boats, and proctors were freely
canvassed ; but rarely, if ever, did any literary
subject form part of the conversation carried on
during this process of mastication. Each in
dividual rather would vie with his fellow in
devising excursions for the ensuing week, or
fresh schemes of extravagance, whilst anecdotes
were recapitulated of the siege which the go-%
vernor had withstood, when urged to throw in
fresh supplies.
Such were the means by which young men
were inveigled; and thus, for my own part, I
c

26

was entrapped by the phantom of pleasure, in
consequence of the gaudy colours in which she
was painted by her votaries, and under the idea
that the day of payment was still afar off.

CHAPTER IV.

" If the man who turnips cries.
Cries not when his father dies,
'Tis a proof that he had rather
Have a turnip than his father."

Logic is the grand bugbear of Oxford. It
is true that this art is not so severely studied
as formerly, but still it constitutes a regular part
of the system of education pursued. The whole
sixty-four modes of syllogism should be abohsh-
ed ; Aldrich, and all dabblers in ratiocination,
should be burnt in effigy, especially those gen
tlemen who give private drags in the "Art!'
What benefit can be derived from a study which
will admit of such undeniable falsehoods, impos
sible truisms, and conclusive contradictions, as
are exhibited in the following well known crux
of logicians ? Epimenides said that all Cretans

27
were liars, Epimenides himself was a Cretan,
therefore Epimenides was a liar, therefore the
Cretans were not liars, therefore Epimenides
was not a liar, therefore the Cretans were liars,
&c. This dangerous weapon is sometimes ap
plied with a culpable casuistry, by adhering to
the letter of the most important enactments,
and thus strikes at the root of all rational and
instructive conversation. In this flimsy and
specious " Art, which directs the mind in the
knowledge of things," each imdergraduate is
obliged to prepare himself prior to his degree,
as logic is considered a sine qua non in the
schools, equally important as divinity.
"Gay men" would generally defer reading,
until compelled by absolute necessity, in order
to shave tolerably through their examination.
The real object for which they spent a few
years at the university was so entirely disre
garded, that a new system of education seemed
to have sprung up. The youth who could not
obtain a first class, would endeavour to gain
" an honour" by his disputations in the boxing
school; and he who could not cross the pons
asinorum, would distinguish himself by his cal
culations at the hazard table. The assistance
of a good crammer was considered by such men
as far preferable to a triennial drudgery by the
c2

28
midnight oil; and the.idea of bartering health for
the eminent distinction of appearing in print, on
a bit of tea paper, was scouted as something
worse than nothing.
But, after all, should a young man devote
himself to study from the time of his matricu
lation, the success of his efforts will be uncer
tain. Examinations, as is well known, have too
frequently been conducted unfairly and unjust
ly; and although no master in the schools is
permitted to examine a member of the same col
lege with himself, still, however, instances have
been known, not only where merit has not been
adequately rewarded, but where the strenua
inertia of a non-reader has succeeded in passing
the ordeal. Perhaps these things are managed
better now ; possibly " spicea virga" no longer
signifies the spicy virgin, nor are Isaac and
Jacob the two sons of Abraham. These, and
other similarly bright and happy ideas, reflect
no small portion of credit on those to whom the
instruction of youth is entrusted, as well as on
the University at large !
Hunting, and other laborious amusements of
the kind, always appeared to me incompatible
with study: what man, after a hard day's run,
would not be too much fatigued to sit down
calmly and collectedly to his books? Would

29
he not rather recount his " hair breadth es
capes," and the numerous raspers and ox-fences
cleared on "his little mare," in preference to
sapping at the speeches of Thucydides, or the
beauties of Pindar ? Many, however, professed
to hunt and to read ; and several, though term
ed gay and idle, distinguished themselves in no
ordinary manner. Others, again, would read
during the day, and devote the evening to the
pleasures of the bottle : this was the hardest life
of all. Midnight lucubrations were formerly,
perhaps, a frequent cause of the pale and ema
ciated faces to be seen in the quadrangles of
Oxford ; but, now-a-days, if such faces are to
be seen there, I should be much rather disposed
to accuse Aurora, brandy punch, and Havanna
cigars. Public lectures were a mere farce : a school
boy would have construed them offhand. The
themes and verses proposed weekly by the dean
of our college were equally ludicrous : many
times have I received thanks for an old theme
written whilst at school, and once was asked, if
a production of my younger years, which I had^
handed up, were my own composition !
A young man may contrive to pass the first
two years of his career at the university, very
creditably, without money ; but after that pe-
c3

30
riod, he will be annoyed and tormented by duns
of every shape and grade, from the dapper wine
merchant, with his smirking countenance, to the
more humble horse dealer, perfumed with the
scent of his own stable. He who had procras
tinated the day of reading would generally have
two nuisances to contend against: his mind
would be agitated by the dread of a failure in the
schools, whilst the short space of time which he
might have allowed for preparing himself would
be sadly interrupted by thoughtless companions
and inveterate duns. A dun is the most patient
and persevering animal under heaven : he is
sure to come when least wanted, and least ex
pected; he will wait outside your door for hours,
and will not be denied the pleasure of an inter
view ; then, with his smooth, oily tongue, he
will beg of you to discharge his small account,
whilst the rascal is conscious that he charges, at
least, ninety-five shillings in the pound. No
rebuff, no delay, no threat of applying an ex
tremity to his seat of honour, will intimidate
him : there he is at your oak every morning, as
constant an attendant as a poor relative. Every
way, means, method, scheme, and subterfiige,
have I known to be employed to elude the vigi
lance of these man catchers, but all were of no
avail.

31
Dunscopes were in frequent use ; they con
sisted of a small aperture in the wall, and a
piece of mirror, so contrived that the reflection
of the dun was easily to be seen as he stood
without, scratching his head, and anticipating
the fingering of the long looked for cash ; some
times fresh orders were given for expensive and
unnecessary articles, to defer the dreaded day
of payment : against an obdurate tick the most
positive oak was constantly sported, and when the
single tap did arrive, all within was silent and still
as death. If, through any inadvertence on the
part of the besieged, the creditor was allowed
to make good his entrance, and had been suc
cessively and successfully "put off and put off,"
for about twelve or eighteen months, the chances
were, that his castor would remain in a negli
gent, sinister declination on his wen, whilst he
would seat himself with imperturbable coolness
on the sofa or chair nearest to him, as much as
to say, " I don't go, young man, till I get my
money ;" if the unfortunate debtor be so irri
tated as to take up the poker, and attempt a for
cible ejectment, the seven-headed monster,instead
of beating a quick retreat, smiling in defiance,
" ab ipso
Ducit opes animumque ferro."
Thus were the victims of dunnish persecution

32
harassed beyond conception : the very apart.
ments which they occupied could not be called
their own : breakfast was hurried over like cha
pel prayers, and the rooms left untenanted for
the remainder of the day, to escape the ghastly
smile of a creditor : without, all was safe, as it
is the general etiquette of Oxford tradespeople,
never to attack a gownsman in the street. But
why, I would ask, do not the constituted author
ities put a stop to all these evils ? why is usury
permitted, such gross and glaring usury ? why
do the proctors forbid tandem driving, and other
amusements of a similar nature, and yet wink at
them ? why are young men allowed to be rob
bed and plundered by a set of impudent trades
people, whose demands are so immoderately ex
tortionate ? Many a one is thus reduced to
beggary, and still lives to curse the heedless
folly which has embittered the remainder of his
days. — I could enumerate clergymen, who at
this moment are obliged to hide themselves in
comparative poverty, and annually remit a cer
tain sum, in order to satisfy the demands of these
vultures, and avoid the horrors of a jail. — Still,
however, the heads of houses are too bigoted to
relinquish ancient customs and regulations, and
have very lately evinced their positive deter-

33

mination to oppose all innovation, improvement,
and reform.
About twelve months previous to leaving the
university, I sold my horses, and a share which
I had of a small pack of harriers, and went down
to a fashionable watering place, where I was
partially engaged to be married. As a sequitur,
innumerable difficulties arose, and I returned
home deeply smitten, and
" Sighing, like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to my mistress' eyebrow."
Some circumstance, however, dissolved the en
gagement, and I now congratulate myself, as
the lady eloped with a married man, and after
being reclaimed by her friends, died of a broken
heart, the victim of misplaced affection !

CHAPTER V.

— " voshttora cara valete,
Nota mihi puero littora, nota viro.'

In consequence of a violent asthma, by which
I was attacked at this time, the faculty deemed a
warmer climate necessary during the ensuing win
ter months, and recommended me to proceed to
Lisbon. I thus had an opportunity of gratify
ing my predilection for travelling, and as I was
aware that Lisbon had frequently proved the
grave of many of my countrymen who had gone
out thither with the same idea of benefit as my
self, I took leave of my friends under the im
pression that I was quitting them for ever.
I sailed from Liverpool in the month of July,
and after a voyage of ten days, during which
period we had the most favourable weather, on
a beautiful morning, a little after day break, we
came in sight of the famous promontory, known
by sailors as the Rock of Lisbon, about four or
five leagues distant. The first appearance of
the country prejudiced me much in its favour,
and already I began to form new projects of en
joyment, to be put into execution immediately
on landing. The sun had just made his appear-

35

ance over the lowlands on the left, and tinged
with a beautiful yellowish green (the tint so pe
culiarly characteristic of the morning) that part
of the rock not concealed by the grey clouds,
which rolled along the summit, together with
the towers and minarets of Cintra, which were
faintly visible in the distance. Upon entering
the mouth of the Tagus, we took a pilot on
board, whose costume, fantastical and outre in
the extreme, instantly brought to my recollec
tion, that I was no longer amidst " a nation of
of quiet and orderly shopkeepers :" he had on
a short brown jacket, which was embroidered
in the front, sky-blue tights, a red worsted belt,
and Hessian boots, whilst an old scarlet night
cap, which served the double purpose of a hat
and a cigar case, dangled pendent from his head
to the left shoulder ; his complexion was of the
deepest olive, with which his dark eyes and
glossy hair well accorded : the only thing he
complained of was poverty, for notwithstanding
all his visible show of finery, he hinted in pretty
broad terms, that he would gladly have accept
ed a pair of stockings, or an old shirt, as he
had nothing of the kind, unfortunately, in his
possession. The first objects which present themselves to
the eye, on entering the mouth of the Tagus,

36
are the numerous forts which are erected on
either side: the two principal are Santo Ju-
hano and Bogio, of which the former is situated
on the North, and the latter on a small island to
the South of the bar, in the centre of the mouth
of the river, and about four leagues below Lis
bon, The only passage, however, up the river,
lies in the channel between these two batteries ;
and by this means, a most formidable obstacle
is offered to a hostile fleet, as every vessel in
her approach to the city, must inevitably come
within the destructive range of their guns, Bogio
is entirely bomb proof, and is constructed in the
most solid manner : it is frequently used as a
place of confinement — the unfortunate prisoners
are immured in dungeons to which the tide has
access, where they are sometimes drowned by
the sea. Santo Juliano is built on a rock which
projects into the river, and has five bulwarks,
with a ravelin towards the land side. It mounts
nearly a hundred guns, and is capable of accom
modating three thousand men. The chief bat
teries besides the two above mentioned, are
those of Cascaes, Peniche, Belem, and Lisbon.
The banks of the Tagus, extending from Santo
Juliano to the capital, are studded with villages
and quintas, or country houses, whilst numerous
windmills, chiefly used in preparing the olive oil,

37
seem perched here and there, in order to catch
the passing breeze. This oil is in great requi
sition amongst all classes, but more especially
the lower orders, who seldom eat their fish, un
less absolutely saturated with it. On our arri
val at Belem Castle, we were detained for a
considerable time by the health officers, who at
last put off to us in an elegant boat, accommo
dated with a spacious awning, and having
given us pratique, we proceeded up the river.
Belem Castle is an ancient Moorish tower, and
was formerly a place of great strength and im
portance, but is now used as an excise office,
and custom house.
The city of Lisbon is situated North of the
Tagus, at the distance of four leagues from its
mouth. The river here expands to the breadth
of eight or nine miles, and forms a harbour said
to be capable of containing ten thousand sail.
The appearance of Lisbon, as it rises gradually
from the shore, is extremely picturesque and
imposing, especially when seen from the river,
along whose banks it extends in the form of an
amphitheatre to the length of five miles, whilst
it is built like the " Eternal City," on seven
hills. When the Moors over-ran the greatest
part of Spain, they penetrated also into this
country, and established governors in it, After-
D

38
wards it became an earldom to Spain, and Alon
zo first assumed the title of King of Portugal;
his successors held possession of the country
until Phihp II, kmg of Spain, seized upon it.
The nation however, rebelhng, shook off the
Spanish yoke, and elected the duke of Bragan
za for their sovereign, who took the name of
John IV. and in his family it has ever since
remained. The entire face of the country around Lisbon
is most beautiful and animated : the broad and
shining Tagus, the mountains in the distance,
and the numerous plantations of the olive, toge
ther with the extensive vineyards, adorned here
and there with white cottages, present, during
a certain season of the year, vnth lively effect, a
view seldom equalled, and scarcely if ever ex
celled. The ruins of a stupendous monastery,
are amongst the very few existing evidences
which remain to tell of the great earthquake in
1755, and have formed at one period, no in
considerable part of a vast and magnificent edi
fice : they are situated on the highest ground
in Lisbon, and may easily be distinguished by
the eye from the other buildmgs of the city at a
distance of several leagues. Before this awfiil
calamity occurred, the season had proved un
usually wet and cold ; for forty days previous,

S9

the earth trembled at short intervals, and Na
ture herself foretold that something extraordi
nary was about to happen. The springs, which
up to this period had afforded the greatest
abundance of water, became suddenly dry ; the
sky was generally clear and serene, though for
the few days immediately preceding this terri
ble convulsion the sun was partially obscured,
and a general gloom prevailed ; the fog which
succeeded, was soon dissipated by the heat : —
not a breath of wind stirred, and the tempera
ture of the atmosphere, though in the month of
November, suddenly became close and oppres
sive, like that of July. Early on the morning
of All Saints, a rattling noise was heard, accom
panied with short and quick vibrations, which
shook the very foundations of the city ; some
buildings instantly fell, and houses were tossed
from one side of the streets to the other, whilst
persons on foot were heaved to and fro, as
though by the motion of a wagon, whilst borne
along a rough and broken road. The city was
quickly reduced to a heap of ruins ; whilst near
the river, not a street could be traced but by
the fragments of broken walls, and the accumu
lation of rubbish : churches, monasteries, con
vents, palaces, private houses, streets, and
squares, were all engulphed, or thrown down,
d2

40

as though the angel of desolation had passed
by. I remember to have met with an anecdote
concerning a Yorkshire clergyman, whose grand
father had been chaplain to the English factory
at Lisbon, during the period of the earthquake,
and had bequeathed to him his M. S. sermons,
as the most precious legacy he could bestow :
now it so happened, that on a certain Sunday,
when the legatee mounted his pulpit, he found
himself under the necessity of thus addressing
his congregation : — " When I look around me,
and behold the awful effects of the late devasta-
tation of nature : houses rent to the foundation ;
men and cattle engulphed in the earth, and the
whole horizon rocking like the ocean in a violent
tempest ;" the sensation he excited was wonder.
ful,and he owned that never before had he preach
ed with so much effect ; the females fainted, and
the men hinted in audible whispers, that some
dreadful calamity must have occurred since they
entered the church.
After remaining on ship-board for a few days,
I obtained rooms in the Caes de Sodre, with
out a passport, or protection of any kind, either
from the pohce, or Sir William a Court, who,
at that time, was our ambassador. My new re
sidence was situated a few yards from the river
and commanded a delightful prospect, as

41

well as an extensive view of the opposite side :
it was very comfortable and remarkably clean,
which latter consideration must be accounted a
particular luxury by every Englishman who
visits Lisbon.
On the Sunday afternoon subsequent to
my arrival, I ventured to see the weekly bull
fights, and was certainly much gratified by the
novelty they afforded. The excessive attach
ment of the natives to amusements of this de
scription, is a striking relic of barbarity in Por
tuguese manners. They afford a spectacle
which shocks the delicacy of every other nation
of Europe, with the exception of Spain, Al
though they are very expensive, the profits,
nevertheless, are considerable. When the
bulls and horses are paid for, and the wages of
the combatants deducted from the receipts, the
residue is generally appropriated to pious pur
poses. The worst seats are let for twenty-four
vintins each, or about a shilling, and are ex
posed to the sun ; whilst two crusades are de
manded for those in the shade. It is only dur
ing the summer months that these feats are ex
hibited, as at that period of the year, the spec
tators can sit in the open air, and the bulls are
more vigorous. . The best bred bulls are thus
sacrificed, and connoisseurs can immediately
d3

42
tell the place where a bull was reared, by his
distinguishing marks. The arena is a kind of
circus surrounded by about twelve rows of seats,
which form the pit, whilst above, are two tiers
of boxes. After paying the price of admission,
I entered the amphitheatre, and found myself
amidst a large assemblage of people, all of whom
seemed on the qui vive, anticipating the plea
sure they were about to receive from the after
noon's diversion, I remarked that the females
were particularly numerous, and even mothers
with infants in their arms were to be seen in the
crowd. Smoking cigarros de papel, and drink
ing lemonade, formed the chief occupations ofthe
men during the whole of the entertainment, and
this amusement prevailed amongst the highest
class of persons present, and in the company of
ladies, who unlike our countrywomen, were not
so fastidious as to be offended with the smell of
a cigar. One of the nobility is generally ap
pointed president or judge, whose business it is
to decide any case in which he may be appealed
to, or in which any dispute amongst the homens
de forca may arise, and to give orders for the
death of any bull, which shall have afforded
sufficient amusement. He usually takes his
seat in his box, which is gaily and gaudily de
corated, about four o'clock, in full dress, and

43

attended by his suite, when he is warmly greeted
by the spectators. The homens de forca are
divided into two companies, who take up their
respective stations on either side of the presi
dent : one set consists of ten or twelve negroes,
and the other of the same number of natives
habited in yellow ineffables ; each party is par
ticularly jealous of the other, and it is considered
a disgrace if they cannot throw down the strong
est bull by main force, or what is worse, in case
they should be foiled, afterwards to witness the
more successful efforts of their rivals.
After the ring has been well swept and
watered, the spectacle commences by a proces
sion around it, composed of picadors, mata
dors, and homens de forca, who, after making
their obeisance to the judge, and exhibiting
their elegant figures and gaudy dresses to the
assembled crowd, retire in order to prepare
themselves for the combat. Two civil officers
then make their appearance, and ask permis
sion from the president of the entertainment for
the amusement to commence, and the band be
gins to play. There were sixteen bulls the
first time I attended an exhibition of this kind:
those intended for slaughter were divided into
two equal numbers, of which one was
butchered at the commencement, and the other

44
at the conclusion of the sports; the animals
thus devoted, had their horns decorated with
blue and red ribands, as a token of the fate
that awaited them, whilst those not destined to
encounter the sword of the matador, were
merely tipped in the usual manner, to prevent
them from goring their adversaries. At a given
signal, the bull was let into the ring from a
loose box communicating by means of a side
door, where for some time previous, he had
been tormented and goaded, in order to render
him more furious. On his appearance he was
received with loud shouts, and every noisy de
monstration of joy. mhe picador, who was on
horseback, was the first who contended with the
bull : he was dressed like a Spaniard, with a
plume of feathers in a high crowned hat, and a
sword by his side, whilst a cloak fastened round
his neck, was thrown behind him : he was armed
with a long lance, and seemed fixed to his
saddle. This exercise requires strength, cour
age, and dexterity, and is by no means con
sidered disgraceful. Formerly the fidalgos, or
noblemen, practised it. If the bull, when first
let out, rushes at the picador, all entertain a
favourable opinion of his courage ; and should
he return to the charge after being wounded,
the acclamations of the spectators are redoubled.

45

and their joy is most extravagant : on the con
trary, should he walk round, eyeing his antago
nist, and endeavour to avoid him, he is hooted
at and hissed on all sides. The first bull, as
soon as he perceived the picador, who awaited
his approach in the middle of the arena, made a
desperate rush at him, which however, was
neatly evaded by a dexterous wheel of the horse,
and the rider having struck a barbed spear into
his neck, broke the shaft, and rode round the
ring, until he was supphed with a fresh lance
by one of the capinhas. The horse became so
terrified, that not even a sense of his danger
would induce him to move, and in this case,
after the picador had broken a second lance
in the neck of the bull, the animal in the utmost
fury caught him under the flank, and overturned
both horse and rider. In the mean time, the
bull was attracted by flags and gaudy coloured
cloths, until the picador had time to re-mount
his horse : he then struck several more lances
into his neck, and afterwards retired, leaving
him to the capinhas, or combatants on foot.
Sometimes however, nothing can rouse the
bull's courage, and in that case, the picadot
demands permission from the judge to make
use of his sword, and if leave be granted, he will
cut the animal down the back, or across the

46
shoulders, and when he is thus reduced to faint-
ness through loss of blood, he proceeds to deal
with him in any manner he chooses, and draws
down the applause of the multitude. Several
bull dogs are frequently turned loose at once,
and are suffered to worry and tear the bull
until nearly exhausted : afterwards squibs and
other fireworks are fastened to his neck by
means of darts, which occasion exquisite pain,
and sometimes deprive him of sight.
The first attack by the picador is generally
the most anunated and disgustmg. The ani.
mal when irritated, will frequently brave the
pointed steel, which makes such horrible wounds
in his neck, and often attack the horse, regard
less of all pain, with the most obstinate courage:
the capinha then endeavours to divert his at
tention, and provoke his anger, by shaking pieces
of red cloth before him : this is the most dan
gerous part of the performance, for should the
bull pursue him, he has need of all his agility
to escape his fury. The dress of the capinha
consists of a short silk jacket, with a vest and
breeches of the same material, whilst his long
hair is confined in a caul, and affords a shigular
appearance, but his costume altogether does not
seem pecuharly adapted to his profession^
These combatants make use of a species of

47
dart, the point of which is barbed, and some
times ornamented at the other extremity with
small streamers of coloured riband : they pass
close by the horns of the bull in each sally they
make, and the moment he rushes at them, and
lowers his head to catch them on his horns,
they plunge their weapons in his neck two by
two & V instant. These dangling about, render
him still more furious : his rage is redoubled,
he bellows, stamps, lashes his sides with his
long bushy tail, and every nerve and muscle
seems suffering with agony, whilst the useless
efforts by which he endeavours to disencumber
himself, only increase the pain of his wounds :
this exhibition of the capinha calls forth all his
activity : the beholders tremble for the adven
turous combatant, apparently in the power of
his horned antagonist, but their blows are di
rected so skilfully, and their address in escap
ing the danger so neat, that a stranger having
seen their manoeuvres a few times, will neither
admire, nor feel for them.
When the bull was given up by [he picador to
be tormented by the capinha, the latter was
frequently obliged to drop the piece of scarlet
cloth, with which he had irritated him, to give
time for his escape : against this, as it remained
on the ground, the animal expended his fury,

48

but when his attention was no longer to be di
verted by it, the combatant was obliged to
throw himself over the paling which inclosed
the arena, and the bull, to display his gymnas
tic abilities, " topped it" like a greyhound : all
was then consternation ; beaux, belles, mili-
taires, and a complete farrago, endeavoured to
escape, without any consideration for their less
nimble companions : the animal however, was
soon secured, and once more brought into the
ring to be provoked anew. When the attack
recommenced, he pursued his adversaries in all
directions. Darts were showered into his neck,
flags were cast before him, and he pawed the
ground, whilst the dust rose in volumes around.
When nearly exhausted from the streams of
blood which trickled down his panting sides, a
fresh victim was demanded, and the president
ordered the matador to put a period to his suf
ferings. Immediately the trumpets gave the
signal, and the previous combatants quitted the
arena. The matador approached the animal
with a scarlet cloak on his left arm, and a long
sword in the right : he waved the cloak for
sometime before the eyes of the bull, whilst they
both stood gazing at each other. The assem
bly in silence beheld the dumb scene, when
suddenly the bull made a rush at the flag, and

49

received the sword in the spine of the neck.
He stood quivering for a few seconds, bent on
his knees, and fell dead. A thousand voices
with loud shouts proclaimed the triumph of the
conqueror, who made a low bow of acknowledg
ment. Four mules ornamented with bells and
streamers, with two black riders, clothed like
North American savages, put an end to the
first act of this tragedy. A rope was tied round
the bull's horns, and the animal was dragged
ignominiously from the arena, and left only the
traces of his blood, and the remembrance of his
exploits behind him, which were soon to be
effaced by the appearance of his successors.
Sometimes the blow of the matador is not
decisive, and the bull survives and seeks
again to brave the fatal sword, when murmurs
succeed to applause ; in this case the butcher
is considered unskilful, but he quickly endea
vours to be revenged, and to disarm his judges
of their severity. His zeal on these occasions,
frequently degenerates into the blindest fury,
and his partizans tremble for the consequences
of his imprudence, till at length he directs his
blows better, and his victim vomiting bloofl,
staggers and falls, whilst the conqueror is in
toxicated with the applause of the people. In
this manner are treated those bulls which are

50

destined for slaughter. The others are tor
mented in a similar way, by the picadors and
capinhas, with darts, dogs, and fireworks, and
are opposed hkewise by the homens de forca.
One of these men will turn out in the middle of
the arena, and endeavour to catch the buU by
the horns. This is an attempt of very great
danger, for should theforcador miss his aim, the
bull invariably overturns him. There were no
less than five negro forcadors carried out,
stunned or killed, during the first bull-fight I
witnessed. They stood successively with open
arms daring him to the contest, and he was not
long in accepting the challenge : each rushed
at the other, the bull invariably striking his an
tagonist on the neck, causing him to fall back
wards apparently Ufeless : the animal trampled
on him until his attention was directed to
another object by the capinhas ; at this time,
the females were most loud in their cries of
" bravo," and encouraged the poor fellows to
proceed by every attitude and gesture they
could assume. An old forcador of the yellow
party then challenged the bull, which immedi
ately rushed at him, when he dexterously threw
himself between his horns, and notwithstanding
the plunging of the animal, held him fast until
his comrades in a body pulled him to the earth.

51

Such scenes however, are sufficient to dis
gust the dehcate spectator, and pleasure is
thus converted into pain. I remember making
some remark expressive of disapprobation, to a
Portuguese, who told me with the utmost sang
froid, that if I was displeased with the spectacle,
I had much better leave at once, and return to
my own country. The negro homens de forca
frequently attack the bull on horses made of
wicker work, with an exceedingly long lance for
their defence ; if the animal should chance to
get his horns entangled in the wicker work, the
sable hero is lifted aloft, and frequently falls
from a considerable height to the ground : when
they afford a tolerable share of amusement, and
manifest their bravery, crusados novos and
other coins are generally showered down as a
reward for their intrepidity. These acts of
prowess become a favourite topic of conversa
tion until the next exhibition, and the capability
of a matador is as frequently discussed and can
vassed amongst the Portuguese, as the merits
of Kean or Vestris with us. When the ap
pointed number of bulls has thus been disposed
of, the yellow and black homens de forca, the
picadors, and capinhas make their final bow to
the judge, and retire until their respective avo
cations on the following Sunday, again summon
them before the eye of the public.
e2

CHAPTER VI.

Amongst other curiosities which I visited dur
ing my stay in this metropolis was the palace of
the Inquisition ; here, however, I was completely
disappointed in my expectations : I had pictured
to myself a magnificent and sombre-looking pile,
with a proportionate quantity of iron bars, tur
rets, and all the et cetera belonging to such a
celebrated prison ; but was much astonished to
see an insignificant building, coloured yellow, —
some parts were used as scavenger's offices, and
others, to all appearance, were entirely blocked
up. Though much has been said and written
with regard to this horrible tribunal, yet very
little was positively known concerning it until a
few years ago, and before that period still less.
The proceedings of the Portuguese Inquisition
were formerly conducted with the same rigour
as in Spain, but afterwards, as in that kingdom,
government took the power into its own hands,
and used it chiefly for its own purposes. All
the customs and actions of the Holy Office were
enveloped in total darkness and mystery; and
the dread of being re-taken and again subjected
to the miseries and torments formerly under-

53

gone, prohibited many who regained their liberty
after a long duration of confinement and tyranny
within its walls, from making their distresses and
calamities, together with their knowledge of the
proceedings of this tribunal, known to the world.
People of all ranks and classes were amenable
to its decrees, and the shghtest accusation was
sufficient to insure for the accused an imprison
ment for years within the eternal darkness of its
dungeons: no one, even in the bosom of his
friends, was safe; for the very pleasures and
innocent gaieties of life were converted into so
many snares to entrap its unsuspecting victims :
in every class of society its emissaries were con
stantly active; and thus, frequently, the secret
whispered over night in the ear of friendship,
would, ere morning, cause the arrest of the in
dividual, who too credulously imagined he had
confided in a faithful friend. An instance has
been known, where the accused, when brought
before the tribunal of the Holy Office, has re
cognised in his judges, one, the particular friend
of his youth and fellow-collegian, the other, his
intimate friend, who only a few hours previous
to his imprisonment, had conversed with him in
the most free and amicable manner ; but neither
of these monsters had the humanity to notice
him in his forlorn situation, nor to shew the least
e3

54
inclination to soften the rigours of his confine
ment. The judges who presided at this tribunal
were chosen from the orders of monks, — men
who had renounced the tenderest feelings of
humanity, and who considered the aggrandise
ment of the church as the sole object worthy of
pursuit, and thus neither justice nor compassion
softened the stern rigour of their sentence. —
Even the grave did not secure its tenant from
persecution, and the very possessions which a
heretic might leave behind him were held as
things accursed, whilst the boldness of the sen
tences which were issued from this fearfid tri
bunal was only to be equalled by the cruelty and
prompt exactitude with which they were carried
into effect.
In the garden attached to the inquisitorial
palace were numerous skulls and human bones
scattered about and whitening in the air,
 " qu& modd tristes
Albis informem spectabant ossibus agrum.''
These bones, no doubt, at a former period be
longed to some unhappy victims who came within
the pale of cognizance of the Holy Office. In
one place my guide directed my attention to a
sort of chimney, with an opening at tlie bottom,
secured by iron clamps and bars, where it had
been customary to fasten the poor wretches who

55

were doomed thus to expiate their imaginary
crimes, and afterwards to pour quick lime upon
them from above. The inside of the building
was carefully closed, and here I was unable to
gratify my curiosity. Relatives have been im
mured in these dungeons for years, unconscious
of each other's confinement ; nay, even their re
spective families without, have been completely
ignorant of their fate. It is unknown whether
the Inquisition in Lisbon is in force at present
or not, and even the inhabitants themselves,
either are, or pretend to be, entirely ignorant
on the subject.
Upon the whole, Lisbon must be considered
an excessively dirty place; the streets are nar
row, irregular, and ill-built, whilst few of them
have accommodation for passengers on foot. —
The multitude of lean miserable looking curs,
the scavengers of the city, belonging to no one,
and subsisting upon whatever they may chance
to find during their perambulations, perpetually
haunt the stranger in the hot months with the
dread of hydrophobia, though an instance of
that horrible malady was never known amongst
them. The pubhc walks and squares swarm
with monks and friars of all descriptions and
orders, equally as useless and idle as their canine
companions, only they exert themselves per-

56
petually in strenuous snuff-taking, and are per
haps more expert in catching the intolerable
little animals that both are troubled with: it is
of no unfrequent occurrence to see one of these
fat-paunched sons of the church stop for a few
seconds in the middle of the street, and lift up
his coarse woollen garment, in order to free him
self from the torment these creatures occasion.
The entire clothing of certain orders consists of
a rough, thick cloak, with sleeves, out of which
their brawny arms appear, something similar to
the foreshortening ofthe Umbs of Hercules, with
a hood for the head, and a pair of leathern
sandals : some encircle the waist with a rope, to
which a crucifix is suspended, and others again
are enveloped in a white garment, decorated
with a scarlet cross on the breast, whilst a three
cornered hat conceals the shaven crown. —
Although the monasteries and churches are
many of them richly endowed, and hold exten
sive landed property, yet the orders of mendi
cant friars are exceedingly numerous. The
entire number of the clergy is said to be two
hundred thousand, every fifteenth person on the
average, belonging to the priesthood.
I well remember coming home rather late with
Major B — one evening; we had been dining out
together, and were passmg by a certain monas-

57
tery, when a sudden splash, the closing ofa case
ment, and a stifled laugh, met our ear: I was
soon aware of the nature of the accident, whilst
B — inveighed most lustily against this mode of
salutation, now swearing in English, and then
applying the pungency of a Portuguese oath to
the tail of an exclamation in his own tongue,
whilst he spoke so vehemently and fast that it
was impossible to catch more than a syllable at
a time. One of the holy fathers (horresco re-
ferens) upon retiring for the night, had emptied
the contents of a certain vessel over the head of
my friend, no less to his astonishment and in
dignation, than to the manifest detriment of a
black coat and new hat, which had arrived that
day from England : determined to know the
reason of this compliment, and not being aware
that he fully merited it, he knocked at the gate,
" long and loud," without perceiving the slight
est indication of a human being : despairing of
obtaining admission, or the patient hearing of
any one to whom he might relate his disaster,
(he was a major, and not in want of " the epau
lette on the other shoulder,") he enlisted me into
his service, and compelled me to aid him to the
utmost, in breaking every window in the build
ing. The glass rattled on the pavement like
hail, when suddenly down rushed a whole posse

58
of police, and we were obliged to cut: we made
as good a retreat as circumstances would allow,
and fortunately escaping these myrmidons, we
arrived safely at our lodgings. The Major, as
he told me afterwards, gave away his new hat
and coat to his valet, but still retains a most vivid
recollection of this unwarrantable insult.
One delightful afternoon I joined a party to
cross the river to old Lisbon, to eat grapes and
enjoy the refreshing breezes on the high grounds.
Each of us procured a burro or donkey, on the
opposite side, and we proceeded to the telegraph,
where a most commanding view of the metro
polis presented itself. After examining the for
tifications erected by the Duke of Wellington,
we descended from the heights, and stroUed
through the vineyards, which were at that time
empurpled on all sides by the ripened grape:
from thence, on our return, we approached the
river by a long and rugged lane, overshadowed
by the thick foliage of the walnut tree, and be
held several elegant quintas, whose gardens were
enclosed by lofty walls adorned with flowers
and young aloe trees, which were planted in
coloured vases and placed on the top. An ar
tificial terrace, overhung with vmes, would often
meet the eye, on which the young girls, with
their dark eyes and tresses, seemed more at-

59

tractive and voluptuous than the rich fruit which
clustered above. We recrossed the Tagus and
arrived at the Caes do Sodre just as it was
growing dark, when an unusual sight attracted
our attention ; upon inquiry we found that the
corpse of Prince Miguel's tutor, which had been
brought for interment from Vienna, had just
landed from some port in Italy : it was immedi
ately placed in the royal hearse, drawn by eight
horses, and accompanied by numerous outriders
and soldiers to the place of interment. A Por
tuguese merchant informed me of the report
current at the time, which coincided with his
opinion, that Miguel was not much attached to
this man, and not considering him his " dulcis-
sime rerum," caused him to be taken off by
poison. Immediately after this funeral proces
sion had passed, there appeared a troop of
friars, bearing a large wooden crucifix, and se
veral images of our Saviour, lighted up with
innumerable lamps; whilst others, who had
been enjoined to perform this office by way of
penance, accompanied the procession barefooted,
and muffled in grey cloaks, with the eyes only
visible: to these succeeded the Host, carried
on a large stage, supported by some half dozen
monks, and last of all the Virgin Mary, decor
ated with splendid jewels, and clothed in a

60
magnificent dress of gold brocade; she was
carried in a glass coach, whilst bands of music
played around, and fireworks and skyrockets
were displayed on all sides. At this extraordi
nary appearance, a young Enghshman who was
standing with us in the balcony of the billiard
room to which we had adjourned for the sake
of a better view, could not restrain his laughter,
though several admonitory kicks and pinches
warned him that he was doing wrong. The
consequences of his indiscretion were far more
serious than the poor fellow had apprehended;
as he went home, smoking his cigar, a stranger
met him, as though accidentally, and begged
the favour of a light, and whilst he unsus
piciously granted his request, two others stole
upon him from behind and stabbed him in the
back: the next morning he was a corpse!
Lounging about one sultry forenoon on the
Caes do Sodre, with a cigar in my mouth for
want of a better amusement, I had an opportu
nity of beholding a genuine Portuguese toilette:
I had heard of such a chimera, but never before
had ocular proof of it. — Lying in the sun was
an elderly man, and between his knees a little
girl, from ten to twelve years of age, whose
head he was examinmg with the greatest care
and minuteness, whilst he threw from him, as

61

occasion required, certain animalculae, which
shall be nameless : behind him was seated his
wife, performing a similar operation for her
husband, and next to her was a little girl stand
ing up, and paying particular attention to
mamma's raven locks, which hung loosely down
the back of her neck, whilst a monkey perched
on her shoulders, kindly undertook to scrutinize
the ringlets of its young mistress. I suddenly
became qualmish, not being aware of the nature
of the business they were engaged in until I had
kept my eyes fixed for some minutes on this
strangely occupied group, and quickly turned
away. On hearing that high mass was to be per
formed at St. Vincent's church on the fete day
of that saint, and that Dom John and his three
daughters were to be present, I determined not
to allow such an opportunity to pass without
availing myself of the offer of a friend to accom
pany him there. All the priests belonging to
this establishment are Fidalgos: their chaunt-
ing was extremely fine, and the service particu
larly imposing. The church itself is a magnifi
cent building, situated on an eminence; it is
beautifully decorated in the interior, and pos
sesses many valuable paintings ; the altar is par
ticularly splendid, in consequence of the plate.

62
money, jewels, and legacies, which have been
bequeathed from time to tune, and the vast
wealth of the present clergy, who are esteemed
in their corporate capacity more richly endowed
than the Royal Family of Portugal. His Ma
jesty and the three Princesses however, were
my grand lions on the present occasion: the
king, who appeared a fine hale old man, about
sixty, was the first who ascended the stone steps
communicating with the aisle immediately lead
ing to the church ; he was followed by his
daughters, who were reckoned the handsomest
princesses in Europe, and certainly two of them
were remarkably beautiful.
At the conclusion of the service, when the
royal family had departed, my companion and
myself, on returning towards our lodgings,
passed the door of another church, invitingly
open to all comers, which curiosity induced us
to enter : fortunately we met with a Scotchman,
who interested himself so far as to explain to us
the different pamtmgs, figures, and inscriptions
in the interior: amongst others was an image
of our Saviour on the cross, with a large black
beard, manufactured, to all appearance, of horse
hair; it was in no way remarkable as to the ex
terior, but in reahty had a most extraordinary
circumstance connected with it. The imitation

63

of the wound occasioned by the spear in the
side was neatly covered with glass, and inlaid
with tinsel, so neatly indeed as to deceive the
eye completely, unless the spectator had been
previously informed of the fact, and had accu
rately examined the deception. This wound,
as the people and priests asserted, sent forth a
miraculous stream of light, which was an evident
sign that our Saviour was well pleased with the
prayers and praises offered up to him. It so
happened, that an individual, who had then
lately been converted to Christianity from the
Jewish persuasion, openly denied the truth of
the assertion, and plainly stated that the beams
of the svm falling in a certain direction, caused
the appearance of light: this so enraged the
multitude, who generally give credence to
the marvellous, that they immediately slew
the unfortunate Jew-Christian, and abetted
by the priests, put to death two thousand
of his brethren, whom they encountered in the
streets. I experienced a melancholy gratification one
evening in witnessing the funeral processian of
an illustrious field officer: a large number of
troops, infantry, cavalry, and artillery-men at
tended, and altogether the spectacle it afforded
was solemn and imposing : the glare of the
f2

64
torches threw a murky gleam around, and
flickering against the sable plumes of the hearse,
rendered the darkness still more awful and
impressive :  " the drum
Rolling at intervals; the bugle note,
Mix'd with the hoarse command ; then (nearing on)
The soldier's silent, firm, and regular tread;
The trampling horse ; — the wheel
That creeking, bore the dread artillery,"
all added to the grandeur of the ceremony, and
conspired to render it at once mournful and ad
monitory. At a " gaza do pasto," I had one day an
opportunity of remarking the manners of the
several Portuguese who were seated at different
tables as I entered the salon, doing justice to
the various dishes, in which their fancy seemed
to delight. The weather was exceedingly warm,
and each had laid aside his coat during the
ceremony of eating : bones and pieces of bread,
which had served in lieu of napkins to wipe the
knife, were thrown on the floor every now and
then, by way of interlude, durmg the progress
of mastication, as each in succession might dis
please the eye of the consumer; and if a certain
number of those articles, vulgo denominated
spittoons, had been placed around, the apart
ment would have retained a greater appearance

65

of cleanliness than it afterwards presented. At
one table, a company who had finished their
meal, totally regardless of others who were
satisfying their gastronomic propensities at the
time, as well as those who might afterwards
make their appearance, filled the atmosphere
around with wreaths and volumes of smoke, al
ready nearly insupportable in consequence of
the various odours combined, which proceeded
from the culinary department in the newt room :
others were twisting and turning their respective
wooden tooth-picks from one side of their jaws
to the other, and having satisfied their appetites,
seemed to be wholly engrossed by the idea of
" our noble selves." The table-cloth with which
we were provided bore a strong resemblance to
a coloured map of Europe, and the wine, and
the different sauces which had been spilled on
it, emulated the various tints of the rainbow:
Greece however, seemed predominant, and
even of greater extent than the whole Russian
empire. Every thing around was proportion
ately filthy : the contents of the salt-cellar had
the appearance of wood ashes, from the freqjuent
visits of the knife, and the piece of crockery
which contained a mixture of ingredients deno
minated mustard, was similar to the gamboge-
pot of Apelles. The same couverts served all
f3

66
parties, after undergoing a very indifferent pro
cess of ablution in their transit ; and I had the
honour of carving a fine red partridge with a
knife just warm from the hands of a chironomon
of another table, who had given it a flavour in
cutting up some horrible garlic pasty provided
for himself and dainty companions. Having
crowned my dehcate repast with a glass of Mus
catel, I took a stroll in the public gardens, and
in the evening looked into the minor theatre in
the Bairro Alto, but not understanding the
language sufficiently, was not much interested
in the performance; the actors, to all appear
ance, were below mediocrity.

CHAPTER VH.

After spending some time in this monotonous
style, I was induced to take a trip as far as Cin
tra, to see the interior of the country and rftb
off some of the dust contracted in the metropo
lis: having arranged for the jaunt, I set out
with three of my acquaintance, on a beautiful
morning in August, from the Largo do Santo
Corpo. Anticipating a most delightful ride, we

67
hired two hackney chaises of the country, open
in front, and each drawn by a stout little pair of
horses, harnessed with ropes, and bedizened
with bells. On the left side of the road we ob
served the famous aqueduct over the valley of
Alcantara, one of the principal wonders of the
country; it conveys all the water used in the
capital from a considerable distance, and the
centre arch is so exceedingly large and lofty
that it is said a vessel of war of the first class
might pass underneath with the greatest ease:
this aqueduct extends across a deep valley, and
when viewed from a short distance, has a most
beautifully light and airy appearance. The
roads were wretchedly bad, and throughout the
whole country they are invariably the same: in
many places the traveller is obliged to forsake
the beaten route altogether, and to make a new
track for himself over steep mountains and
rocks, or through morasses and the intricacies
of extensive pine forests, with which the coun
try abounds. In such cases, the only benefit he
derives from the providence of his ancestors is
the use of a bridge thrown across the fo^iming
stream which intercepts his path, which, with
out such accommodation, would be impassable.
We had leisure to admire some splendid quintas
near the road, ornamented with elegant vistas.

68
whose approach was generally guarded by im
mense iron gates, profusely gilded, whilst
numerous orangeries and lemon groves, at
this period in full bearing, perfumed the air
on all sides. We soon arrived at the half
way house, a small inn, situated on the right
hand side of the road, and famous for ex
cellent wine ; here we had dejeune ci la four-
chette, and afterwards posted on to Cintra,
where we partook of breakfast a second time.
This small and beautiful town is about seven
leagues distant from Lisbon, and was the fre
quent residence of John the Sixth. Cintra, to
gether with Vimeira, are the principal places of
resort for Portuguese families from the capital,
during the summer months, and the former was
much frequented by the Fidalgos, whilst the
king held his court there : the air of both
places is remarkably pure and salubrious, and
the scenery, around Cintra particularly, is ex
quisitely lovely and romantic. After we had
recruited ourselves with the substantials, and
procured a burro each, we pushed gaily forward
to the Cork convent, which was about two
leagues and a half distant. The guide we bad
hired to conduct us, mistook his way, and at
last confessed that he was completely at fault :
however after making inquiries at a neighbour-

69

ing cottage, he soon hit off the scent again, and
under a burning sun we pursued our course :
during our journey, we obtained a very good
view of the vineyards of Colares, in the posses
sion of Senhor P, Caviojoli, Here the peculiar
wine, known by the name of " Colares," is ma
nufactured: it is hght, yet at the same time
possesses delicacy, softness, body, and flavour.
The wines of the surrounding district were
formerly excellent, but the farmers being re
stricted as to price, substituted inferior vines in
lieu of those they had before cultivated, which
yielded a larger quantity of wine, though of an
inferior quality.
After riding for some time, amongst exten
sive woods of cork trees, interspersed with lime
and larch poplar, where we were entirely pre
cluded from any prospect, as we emerged and
descended a small hill, by a wild and romantic
road, the valley below presented itself to our
sight, and the most beautiful view burst forth
upon us. As far as the eye could range dis
tinctly, the scene was charmingly diversified
with the vine, the olive, and the chesnut ; whilst
in the distance beyond, was seen the proud At
lantic, whose glassy surface the sun enamelled
with a golden gleam ; on the right it burnished
the autumnal tint of the groves, whose leaves

70
hung motionless as though asleep : and on the
left, the lofty ridge of hills, sloping downwards
to the road, was covered with foliage the most
exuberant : above, stood the bare and sharp
summits distinctly marked, and the eye surveyed
at one glance, reposing against the western sky,
the whole bold outline of the mountains, from
the rugged and precipitous eminence of its com
mencement, till it descends into the sea by the
Rock of Lisbon. The vale was studded with
innumerable little cottages, sparkling in the
bright sun, and peeping between the clematis
and woodbine, as though too coy to appear ; a
soft purple hue pervaded the whole, and afford
ed that tender and romantic feeling, generally
experienced in treading on ground consecrated
by an affecting history, or in any way classically
connected. We proceeded onwards, toiling up hill ad
infinitum, till we seemed to have arrived at a
sufficient height for the devotion of any set of
monks, though the convent, according to our
guide, was still far above amongst the moun
tains, nearer to heaven than ourselves. Af
ter this, our road continued somewhat level,
and then descended into a valley, where
was a small village seemingly inhabited by chil
dren and hogs ; we then mounted the opposite

71
side, where again we were lost in admiration of
the scene. The very atmosphere felt as if it
breathed of happiness, and
" A holy quietude that yields to woe,
A pulseless pleasure, fraught with pure delight."
What an anxious desire at the moment I looked
around me, sprung into my heart, that my
friends in England could be with me ! My en
joyment was incomplete, for I stood alone : my
companions could not, or would appreciate the
full force of nature around us. As we conti
nued to ascend, several crosses, rudely carved
out of wood, were to be distinguished on an
eminence, which led to the supposition, that the
convent we were in search of, could not be far
distant. At a certain part of our road, the
guide pointed out a gridiron which was solder
ed into the solid rock, over the mark of a cross,
made, as we were seriously informed, by the
thumb of a saint who formerly belonged to the
convent. On turning the projecting angle of a
rock, the little grove in which was concealed
the object of our journey, came in sight. We
passed several curious images of different saints
in various parts of the grounds, which had been
presented formerly by the illustrious individuals
who had visited the place, and amongst the

72
rest, was a gift from Joseph II. The garden
by which we approached, was kept in admirable
order, and laid out with peculiar elegance : one
spot was particularly delightful ; it was a small
plot of land, surrounded by a hedge composed
of orange and lemon trees, intermixed with
geraniums and sweet briar, whilst a bower in
one corner, pleasantly invited to a retreat from
the mid-day sun : a small pond was in the
centre, well stocked with gold and silver fish ;
the banks were covered with various specimens
of water flowers, which flourished luxuriantly^
and the beds around, were diversified by rare
and numerous plants in full bloom, all of which
had an appearance of great beauty, cleanliness,
and attention.
The convent itself was a small unobtrusive
building, embosomed in a great measure by fruit
trees, whose branches bent beneath the weight
of their different produce. On knocking at the
wicket for admission, it was opened by an el
derly man in a dingy friar's habit, who kmdly
invited us within, to rest after our fatigue.
Leaving our donkies under the protection of
the guide, we entered the gate, and were intro
duced into a neat little refectory, entirely Uned
with cork: there was a slight air of poverty
around, but whether real or affected, I will not

73
pretend to say, for the hearty welcome we re
ceived, after the toil we had undergone, occu
pied our chief attention. Our host informed
us that there were only two brothers besides
himself belonging to the place, who unfortu
nately had gone that morning to some of the
neighbouring towns and villages to solicit alms.
The friar took us a second time through the
grounds, and pointed out in one corner, a small
cell hewn out of solid rock, in which, accord
ing to the inscription on a tablet above, St, Ho-
norius passed the last sixteen years of his life .
I was induced to enter it out of curiosity, and
could neither stand up nor sit down : this was
the holy person, according to our informant,
who wrestled with the devil at the gridiron, and
on making the sign of the cross upon the
rock, his sable majesty beat an immediate re
treat, leaving behind him a most overpowering
stench of sulphur ; the mark of the cross re
mained, and a gridiron was fixed over the spot
in order to preserve it. We dined, or rather
had luncheon with the friar, who placed before
us at first, several wooden trenchers, and a f»w
dried fruits, with some bread called broa, which
is made of Indian corn, and forms the principal
food of the common people ; but when one of
the party exhibited a purse, he opened a cup-
G

74
board in the wall, and gave us some tolerable
Dutch cheese, and a bottle of excellent Colares.
His reverence was a complete walking snuff
canister. This secluded little spot is generally
called the Cork Convent, from the circumstance
of the doors being lined with cork, and the
dormitories and roof being covered with the
same material: when the brothers take their
meals, they are enjoined by some ancient charter
to place pieces of cork underneath their
trenchers. There is nothing else remarkable
in the place, except its extreme neatness and
cleanliness. The number of volumes in the
library was rather circumscribed ; and the walls
bore evidence of bow much a love of the world
was mingled with heavenly contemplations:
Saint Honorius, and a map of Portugal, sea
ports, military engagements, and portraits of
the Madonna, were pasted around. The livery
of the brothers is a russet-brown woollen gar
ment, with a cord encircling the waist. We
afterwards examined the chapel, which, though
very small, was elegantly ornamented with gild
ing, and contained one or two images tolerably
well executed. After presenting the holy father
with a few crusade pieces, for which he seemed
to entertain an excessive partiality, we took our
departure.

75
Descending the hill, and passing by the stone
area for the annual bull-fights, we proceeded
towards the inn, glad to partake of a dinner
dressed in the Portuguese style, and the deli
cious wine manufactured by our landlord, who
farmed an extensive vineyard in the neighbour
hood. At an early hour the following morning, we
mounted our burros, and set out for Mafra,
which was about thirty miles distant. Numer
ous disasters occurred to us by the way ; the
saddle, or more properly speaking, the cushion,
frequently got diametrically opposite to its pro
per station, whilst our frequent stoppages oc
casioned considerable delay. At length we
reached the place of our destination in safety.
The monastery at Mafra,is an immense building,
situated several leagues from any habitation.
We spent some time in examining it, but it pos
sesses nothing very remarkable, and would not
have been so great an object of curiosity, had
not Dom John the Sixth so frequently honoured
it by his presence. This monastic establish
ment in the time of its founder, amounted to
three hundred, but is now reduced to forty-two.
They have no revenues, but receive a pension
from the crown, which they complain is di
minished to twelve thousand crusados novos;
g2

76
they possess the range of the royal tapada, or
park, which is twelve miles in circumferences
and belong to the order of St. Francis. We
did not arrive at Cintra till four o'clock the next
morning, much fatigued with our long journey,
and perhaps we felt it more, having been but
ill repaid for our trouble, Cintra itself is a
most beautiful retreat, embowered in the midst
of large trees, which concealed it from our view,
until we arrived close upon it : it is situated at
the foot of a mountain, whilst below lies the
whole expanse of the valley ; the houses are co
vered with Roman cement, coloured yellow,
pink, or green, presenting a most curious and
lively appearance. The land in the vicinity, is
well adapted for vineyards and orchards, the
vegetable mould being more suitable than on
the other side of the ridge, where the soil is of
too light a nature for the species of vine princi
pally cultivated. The palace is not remarkable
either for its beauty or extent, and as the king
was resident there during my short stay, I was
deprived the pleasure I should otherwise have
had, of examining the interior,
I had nearly forgotten to mention, that the
handsomest and most interesting eirl I ever met
with, was at Cintra : I cannot well describe her
beauty, farther than she was a most superb bru-

77
nette, with the finest eye, and the most perfect
symmetry I ever beheld : her name was " Es-
trella," and truly her beauty agreed with her
name ! Probably, young as I was, I should
have manifested my attachment in a serious
manner, had I not so soon afterwards left Lis
bon : for some time, Estrella and her teretes
suras haunted me ; time and absence however,
cure all things, and these were my remedies : I
can still catch a bird's eye view of her elegant
figure and handsome features ; but the light
ning of that eye now affects not, and my vanity
does not lead me to imagine that at this period,
I still hold any place in her affections.
During my journey back to Lisbon, I was
much struck with the Portuguese method of
washing : passing by a small rivulet which ran
near the road, I observed a young girl kneeling
in a wooden box on its banks, and pounding
some linen unmercifully with a large stone : this
I found was the common practice of the country,
and considered far superior to any other method.
There are several other peculiarities in the
customs of common life amongst the Portuguese,
which afford a greater insight into the manners
of the people, than perhaps those circumstances
which are generally esteemed of more import
ance. Their wagons have a rude appearance,
g3

78
and are drawn by oxen ; the wheels are
sohd, and often made out of a smgle piece of
wood. The taverns in the country are dis
tinguished like the cabarets in France, by a
bush. The door of an accoucheuse is orna
mented with a white cross, whilst pieces of
blank paper signify that a house is untenanted,
A female sits on horseback with her legs on the
right side, and a postilion rides on the off horse.
The principal amusements are billiards, of
which they are very fond, cards, dice, and back
gammon. Field sports are almost entirely un
known ; retirement and silence are more conge
nial to the disposition of the inhabitants than
the bustle and activity which such enjoyments
require. The features of the Portuguese are in
general regular, with dark expressive eyes, and
the women, though small in stature, are grace
ful and voluptuous. They seldom leave their
own apartment, except for the purpose of at
tending to their devotions at church, being as
closely confined as the ladies in Spain. When
a woman is married, she retains her former
name, without adopting that of her husband,
and the christian name is invariably made use
of when addressing an individual. The dress
of the better class of females is somewhat simi
lar to the Spanish, whilst the lower orders re-

79

tain the petticoat and jacket, especially the pay-
sannes. A college has been erected in Lisbon for the
education of the Fidalgos, but no great attention
is paid to literature by any class of people. The
nobles in general prefer leisure and retirement
without ostentation, to the more refined plea
sures of polished society ; and the peasantry,
though possessed of good qualities, which
would win the heart of a stranger, are so op
pressed by a worldly-minded priesthood, and
extortionate landlords, that it is with the great
est difficulty they are able to provide a scanty
subsistence for themselves and their families.
The only university which exists in this country,
is the one founded by king Denis, at Coimbra :
there is likewise a small college at Evora.
Poetry has ranked as the principal branch of
literature in Portugal, and the Lusiad of Luis
de Camoens breathes all the beauty and luxury
of the East, heightened by the sublimity and
grandeur of the language in which he wrote.
Architecture, sculpture, and painting do not
seem to thrive in this kingdom, and it has been
said that neither good paintings nor taste are to
be met with in Portugal.
About a week after my return from Cintra, I
determined to leave Lisbon, and to proceed to

80
Gibraltar : for this purpose, I obtained a pass
port, and laid in a stock of provisions for the
voyage, having a sort of presentiment that I
should not be so well provided for, as if I had
taken my passage on board one of the Com
pany's vessels.
It was on a beautiful moonlight evening, that
I bid farewell to Lisbon, and proceeded to the
vessel in a boat, hired to " carry Caesar and his
saddle-bags." I have frequently remarked the
luminous nature of sea water by night, but
never saw it so dazzling and bright any where, as
in the Tagus : the whole river seemed in a blaze,
occasioned by the passing and re-passing of
boats in every direction. On reaching the ship,
I was desirous of obtaining a little repose, but
unfortunately, the weevils precluded all possi
bility of sleep, and I was of necessity obliged to
pass the night on deck with my pipe, and dur
ing the remainder of the voyage, to lie on a
sack full of spread eagles, and other outlandish
Russian signals, on the cabin floor.
On the morning of the sixth day after leav
ing Lisbon, we came in sight of land : Cape
Spartel, Tangiers, Ape's Hill, &c. appeared on
the African side, Tarifa on the Spanish coast,
and at last, the bay and rock of Gibraltar,
Anchoring off the town, and at no great dis-

81

tance from the quarantine ground, we got^ra-
tique and came ashore, glad once more to
escape the miseries and privations we had en
dured.

CHAPTER VIII.

Gibraltar derives its name from Gebel and
Tarik, the former signifying a mountain, and
the latter being the name of the chief who first
led the Moors into Spain, To the ancients, the
rock on which Gibraltar is founded was known
by the name of Calpe, and was considered one
of the pillars of Hercules, who was suppos
ed here to have finished his navigation, whilst
Abyla, now called Ceuta, on the opposite coast
of Africa, formed the other. These two pillars,
in Juvenal's time, were accounted the fur
thest limits of the west, and according to the
notion of Posidonius and others, the sun rose
out of the ocean in the east, and set beyond the
Herculean straits, where he might be heard
hissing as he descended into the waves ; this

82

circumstance is noticed by the poet above-men
tioned, in the following passage :
 " sed longS Calpe relict^,
Audiet Herculeo stridentem gurgite solem."
Gibraltar has a good effect when seen from
the bay, and the variety of colouring which th^
houses exhibit, gives a lively appearance to the
whole : it is situated on a dechvity of the rock,
which slopes down to the water. The form of
the rock itself is oblong, and its summit is a
craggy undulated ridge, higher at either end
than in the centre. The northern extremity,
which rises to the height of 1350 feet, is per
fectly perpendicular: on the north-west side is
a narrow passage of flat ground, and entirely
covered with fortifications, being the only ap
proach to the town from Spain. The east is
rugged and precipitous, but not perpendicular
like the north. The southern extremity falls
rapidly to a rocky flat of considerable extent,
and again descends by a range of precipices to
another level, the southernmost part of which
forms Europa point ; on the west the pro
montory is bounded by the bay of Gibraltar,
eight miles in length, and rather more than five
broad. The town during the last siege was nearly
destroyed, but phcenix-like, it has risen again

83

from its ashes, on an enlarged and improved
scale. The houses are built without much re
gularity of design, and have in general a stripe
of black to distinguish the stories. The streets
are narrow, with the exception of the principal
#ne, which traverses the whole town. The
population, exclusive of the garrison, consists of
English, Spaniards, Italians, Jews, Moors, and
a variety of other nations, all attracted thither
by commerce. Being a general entrepot, the
manufactures of England, the produce of the
West Indies, North America, and the Mediter
ranean, here find a market. Fruit, vegetables,
and fresh provisions are brought in abundance
from the opposite coast of Barbary, and fish is
caught in the bay in great quantities, particu
larly a species of eel, beautifully spotted, whose
flesh is white like chalk, and is much esteemed
by the lower classes, Gibraltar is divided into
two parts, — the old town, and the south town;
the former of which is the nearest to Spain, and
is the seat of business : it contains the Gover
nor's house, which was formerly a convent, the
government offices, exchange, court house, bar
racks, churches, and synagogues: it is entirely
surrounded with batteries on the sea and land
side, commencing at the old Moorish castle,
which was built as a fortress by Tarik, in the

84

year 712, for the purpose of securing an intern-
course with the opposite coast, and extending
the whole length of the rock, upon which no
fewer than seven hundred guns of all descrip
tions are mounted. This castle still retains the
marks of the shot which were fired at it in the
memorable siege of 1782.
I was fortunate in having a brother in
Gibraltar, whose long residence there enabled
him to direct my attention to the different ob
jects most worthy of notice, and to accompany
me in sundry excursions into the adjacent coun
try for the purpose of witnessing the manners
and customs of the Spaniards. The rock how
ever afforded curiosities for more immediate
inspection, and the day subsequent to my arrival
I obtained a horse, which had once belonged to
a famous Spanish smuggler, and providing a
tinder-box and some brandy, we set out for St.
Michael's cave. Our road conducted us through
the town, and afterwards by the Alameda, which
consists of several shaded walks, surrounding a
large gravelled square, on which the troops
exercise. This square is ornamented with a
colossal figure of General ElUott, surrounded
by the engines and stoves for heating shot, by
means of which he saved the garrison, and
likewise a bronze bust of the Duke of Welling-

85

ton: towards the bay is a battery of twenty-one
guns, which are kept in constant readiness to
answer the salute of any ship of war which may
enter. As we proceeded towards the south,
we observed the barracks erected there, the
victualling office, which contains provision for
the garrison for seven years, and the dock-yard,
where is shewn a chain cable taken out of the
Santissima Trinadada, captured at the battle of
Trafalgar. We then passed a number of rocky
crags and precipices, interspersed with houses,
guns, and shrubs, forming an interesting variety
until we came to Europa point, where the rock
descends to the sea: this point is about one
hundred and fifty feet high at the southern flag
staff, and all vessels passing within range of the
battery on their way to or from the Mediter
ranean, are obliged to hoist their colours. The
Governor's country residence is near this spot,
to which he usuaUy retires during the summer
months, in order to avoid fevers and pestilence,
by which the place has been visited several
times at that season. From Europa point we
turned towards the left, and ascended by an un
pleasant and broken road to the cave of St.
Michael, which is situated nearly in the centre
of the south end. Having given our horses to
a lad, who was amusing himself by sufferingH

86
lizards to bite his hat, and then by a sudden
jerk extracting their teeth, we then descended
into the bowels of the rock. The first chamber
is very extensive, and beautifully ornamented
with petrifactions, which at a httle distance
have every appearance of the most delicate
drapery. From this chamber there are narrow
passages through which we were obhged to
creep on our hands and knees, communicating
to other caverns almost as large as the first:
these have similar passages which conduct to
others, and continue to an unknown extent
The report is generally believed in Gibraltar,
that Governor O'Hara descended to a greater
depth in this cave than any other individual,
and left his sword and watch for any one who
might be hardy enough to venture in search of
them. In some parts, where the light breaks
through from the top of the rock, the effect is
beautiful beyond description. As we came out,
on the left of the first cavern, is the chapel, so
called from several pillars which seem to rise
from the ground to the roof, but in reahty are
formed by the constant drippings from above,
and give it the appearance of an old Romish
church. Leaving the cave, we wound our way
on foot to the summit of the rock above, on which
is a small tower, now in rums : it is called " O'Ha-

87
ra's Folly," having been built by the Governor of
that name, for the purpose of looking over the
opposite mountains, into the Bay of Cadiz:
near it are the remains of a guard-house, called
Mount Misery, where a whole file of soldiers
was struck dead by lightning. The tower
commands a most extensive view: Tetuan, Ceu
ta, Apes Hill, Tangiers, and Cape Spartel, in
Africa ; Cabrita Point, Algeciras, Castillar, San
Roque, the Sierra de Ronda, Marbella, and
Malaga, in Spain, may plainly be distinguished
from this place. The monkeys are strictly pre
served by government, to afford fricandeaux ii
Voiselle, and all other substitutes for the delica
cies of the season, in case of a siege.
The day following we formed a small party
for the purpose of eating " oUa" and smoking a
cigar at San Roque : the morning was fine and
cloudless, but the heat of the sun and the
annoyance of the musquitoes were almost in
supportable. The Spanish Lines, which cross
the isthmus connecting the promontory of Gib-
ralter with the main land, are reduced to a low
stone wall about a foot in height, and though for
merly fortified, they are now merely terminated at
either extremity by the ruins of fort San Felipe,
and Santa Barbara, both of which were blown up
h2

88
by the British on the approach of the French
troops during the late war.
The isthmus is entirely composed of sand,
with very few signs of vegetation ; the Spanish
side of the hnes consists of innumerable little
hills which vary in shape and place with every
change of wind ; for this reason no direct road
has been formed between Gibraltar and San
Roque ; the traveller is obliged to proceed by
the old one, which runs along the bay nearly
two miles, and then turns off to the small vil
lage of Campamento, where there are a few
good houses built by the English, for their own
residence during summer ; it also contains a few
mud cottages, and a small inn, where the in
habitants of the garrison frequently spend the
Sunday in regaling themselves on lemonade and
cigars. Near this place is the race course,
where the English, to the great amusement of
the Spaniards, hold annual races. The town
of San Roque is prettily situated on an emi
nence, and sheltered from the east winds by the
Queen of Spain's chair. This hill is so called
from a small tower on the summit, on which the
Queen of Spain remained during the greater
part of the siege of Gibraltar, and publicly
avowed her determination not to quit the spot,
until she should see the banner of Spain waving

89
on the rock : the Governor in order to release
her from her vow, displayed the Spanish colours
on the flag staff, but did not forget to place the
British standard above them.
San Roque consists of three or four principal
streets leading to the church, which is situated in
the centre of the town, and a few small lanes
communicating with them. The houses are built
much in the manner of those at Gibraltar, and
are whitewashed, whilst the lower windows are
secured by iron bars ; behind these are generally
close latticed works, called by the Spaniards
" Jelosias," so contrived that those persons who
are in the inside can easily perceive every thing
that passes without, while they themselves are
entirely screened from view. The upper win
dows are thrown open during the day, at which
the ladies are frequently seen. The town pos
sesses several tolerable inns or " posadas,"
where a good dinner and country wines may be
had at a reasonable price. The natives have
no idea of English cookery, as may be inferred
from the circumstance of their sending up for
our dinner a hare, which we bad ordered to be
dressed " a la Inglesa," boiled and still re
taining his inside, without either sauce or gravy !
Oh shade of Apicius, what wouldst thou have
said to this ! As a sort of second course we
h3

90
had a stew composed of fish, flesh, and fowl, and
afterwards an " olla," compounded of mutton,
fat bacon, greens and oil, of which few English,
I should imagine, would partake a second time.
These stews however are sometimes excellent,
being seasoned in a variety of ways, no two
dishes of the same kind of meat, bearing the
least resemblance to each other. A bunch of
grapes, a few cigars, and a little aniseed brandy,
concluded our repast, the latter article being
absolutely necessary to quell the mutinous se
ditions of oil and garlic, which had arisen in the
intestines. This part of the country formerly abounded
in game, but the numerous sportsmen who issue
forth every Sunday from the garrison, have
considerably diminished the quantity : a little
further in the country however, the red legged
partridges, quails, hares, and wild ducks are very
plentiful, and any one may obtain liberty to
shoot, by paying three dollars to the "Comand-
ante" for a licence, which extends some dis
tance in the interior. To the south of San
Roque near the bay, are the remains of ancient
" Carteia," a town of considerable importance
in the time of the Romans, but of which nothing
now remains save a tower and a few straggling
walls ; the ground for nearly half a mile around

91
is covered with stones, which together with the
irregularity of the surface, clearly indicate that
a city of no inconsiderable dimensions once ex
isted on the spot.
My next trip extended as far as Castillar,
the ancient castle of Andalusia, which has fur
nished materials both for a romance and the
drama. It was in the middle of Autumn, at a
time when robbers infested the country around,
that a large party of us set out on an excursion
to this place, which was about ten leagues distant.
We left San Roque, where we passed the pre
ceding night, a considerable time before sun
rise, scarcely recovered from the effects of the
last evening's supper. Each was armed with a
brace of pistols, and our number perhaps pre
vented our valour from oozing out, Uke that
of Acres, at our fingers' ends. We had not
proceeded many miles before we were aware of
,the approach of a party of horsemen, whom we
readily set down in our minds as those guerillas,
who had lately been making so free with the
purses of the English. We immediately dis
charged a volley, which quickly dispersed the
whole troop, and we heard afterwards, that they
were a party of peasants bringing fruit and pro
visions to market, whose horses, terrified at the
report of our salute, instantly galloped across

92
the country, to the great danger of their riders,
and the detriment of sundry grapes, melons,
and prickly pears, of which, as daylight ap
peared, we found numbers scattered along the
road. Pursuing our course across a large plab in
which a great number of horses of Andalusia,
and cattle, were grazing, we met with no fiir-
ther adventure, except the opportunity we had
of observing the Spanish method of crossing
rivers without the aid of bridges ; as we arrived
at a small stream, a party of ten or twelve wo
men and two men made their appearance on the
opposite side, and sans ceremonie the ladies
tucked up their garments round their waists,
and walked through the water, which in some
places reached to the hip. We arrived at the
second venta, or inn, situated on the verge of
the great cork wood, where we were shewn
into the stable, the kitchen being previously en
gaged by a troop of black whiskered gentry,
whose society did not appear very inviting;
they were armed with knives, pistols, and short
carabines, which for the present, were piled
up in one corner of the apartment. Here we
made a hearty luncheon on bread, grapes, and
olives, and after telling our suspicious looking
friends that it was our intention to proceed in a

93
direction quite contrary from the one we were
pursuing, we struck into the cork wood, and
bent our course for Castillar. Our walk through
this wood was most delightful, the scorching
rays of the sun were entirely warded off by the
dense mass of foliage over our heads, which
formed one continued arbour across the road,
for miles together : the cork trees in appear
ance are somewhat similar to the English oak,
and many of the trunks of those we passed were
stripped of their bark, which forms a principal
article of commerce : many of them were orna
mented with two pieces of wood nailed together
in the shape of a cross, to mark the spot where
some unfortuhate traveller had yielded up the
ghost under the hands of smugglers and assas
sins who infest the place. About five miles
from the second venta we arrived at the Con-
vento de Almoraima, a convent of white friars,
where no doubt the numerous banditti readily ob
tain absolution of their crimes by paying a tithe
of their plunder.
As we came near the building we were much
surprised to hear the sound of money, and
looking towards the spot from whence it pro
ceeded, we discovered an old friar, whose locks
were as white as the garment he wore, and
whose grey eyes were encircled with a blood-

94
red border, presenting at one view, a good por
trait of samt and devil united, busily employed
in counting a great number of pesetas, which
were piled up on a table before him : so mtent
was he upon his occupation, that he was not
aware of our approach till we thundered at his
door, upon which both friar and money vanished
immediately. After thus alarming a garrison
of monks, whom we knew from the situation of
their abode must be well armed, we resumed
our route along the Castillar road, which had
hitherto been wide enough for a carriage, but
was now reduced to a narrow path, branching
out in so many directions, that we were frequent
ly in danger of losing ourselves, and were ad
vised by some countrymen we met, not to pro
ceed without a guide : disregarding their advice
however, we scrambled through a wood so thick,
that we often lost sight of our only guide, the
sun, and sometimes were totally at a loss what
path to take. In the midst of this dilemma, we
were surprised by the sudden appearance of
four men attended by the same number of dogs,
that would inevitably have worried some of our
party, had they not been immediately called off
by their owners. We were rather alarmed on
coming nearer, to see them so completely armed
at all points: each carried a gun across his

95

shoulder, and a brace of pistols with a knife or
two stuck in a belt round the waist : these for
midable appearances caused all of us intuitively
to feel for our own weapons, but fortunately,
they were not required. The leader of the
gang demanded in a surly tone, whence we came,
and likewise, where we were going, but think
ing, perhaps, that we were too many for himself
and followers, he allowed us to proceed. This
fellow wore a most quizzical costume, and
though it did not much differ from the regular
dress of the Spaniards, yet, in the present in
stance, it struck me as being more outre than
ordinary. His hat seemed to have belonged to
some Spanish officer ; it was ornamented with
silver tags attached to small pieces of silk cord :
his waistcoat of brown cloth was studded with
three rows of bell buttons, and his short jacket
was of the same material, and bedizened in the
same manner : he wore light-coloured small
clothes, ornamented with buttons up the sides,
and embroidered in front, whilst a pair of leather
gaiters covered his legs : his side arms he car
ried in a red worsted belt ; a gun on his shoui-
der, and a cigar just peeping from underneath a
mustachio, completed the appearance of the
personage who had thus alarmed and detained
us.

96
Shortly afterwards the object of our journey
presented itself to view. Castillar is situated on
a mountaui which rises abruptly to the height
of seven or eight hundred feet in a circular
form, and termmates m a point. The regular road
to it ran in a curved direction up the side, but
we chose rather to proceed straight forward up
the face of the hill, which was a rock of lime
stone scantily covered here and there with a
little soil, whilst the brushwood and small shrubs
which grew in the crevices of the rock assisted us
in our ascent. In some places, the blocks of
stone that impeded our progress, were so high
and barren, that it was necessary to take a cir
cuitous route in order to avoid them, and though
we had not gone more than a mile in a direct
line, yet the time occupied in ascending the hill
was nearly two hours. As we approached Cas
tillar, we perceived the waUs to be crowded with
women and children, who had stationed them
selves there to witness our exploit, and who
kindly assailed us with a shower of stones when
at a convenient distance. These symptoms of
hostility however, were scarcely to be wondered
at, as strangers seldom, or never, visit the place.
Troops of chUdren foUowed us through the town,
all crying out at once, "Ingles, dameun penny"
— EngUshman, give us a penny. — To avoid

97

these troublesome urchins, we entered a small
posada, and dined in the yard on bread, stewed
bacon, grapes, and aniseed brandy, the only
spirit common in these parts, and which turns
white when diluted with water. WhUst engaged
at dinner, we were honoured by a visit from the
governor of the place, who made his appearance
in a shabby coat of blue, decorated with tar-
nished gold lace, an antediluvian hat, and the
stockings with which Nature had furnished him.
This respectable personage, after making a few
inquiries, condescended to sit down with us, and
did not quit the table till he was inordinately
drunk. The town of CastiUar appears to have formed
at some period one extensive and lofty castle ;
its numerous apartments have been converted
into separate dwellings, and the passages into
streets ; still, however, it retains a warlike ap
pearance, the embrasures and loop-holes re
maining entire. The whole is surrounded by
very high and strong walls, which exclude every
viewof the place from the outside, and the entrance
through these walls is so narrow, that it would
be impossible for any vehicle to enter. Castil
lar probably contains fifty families, of these, some
inhabit smaU houses built purposely for their re
sidence, whilst others occupy the ancient apart-

98
ments of the castle. A few soldiers were quar
tered here, and several of the pretty faces were
seen, for which this province is so celebrated ;
one girl in particular was an object of universal
attention : she had been attracted to the door
by the noise of the crowd who accompanied us
through the town, and seemed as much sur
prised at the sight of strangers, as we were in
beholding so much lovliness luxuriating in native
simpUcity in such a wilderness. Her dress con
sisted of a black skirt and scarlet boddice, with
a yeUow shawl throvra negligently over her
shoulders ; her eyes were black as night, and
her glossy hair of the same colour, gracefiiUy
parted on her forehead, hung in ringlets on her
neck, whilst her beautifuUy proportioned and
expressive features readily brought to my mind
the fair Antonia, of whom GU Bias was so ena
moured. The vast difference existing between
the lower class of EngUsh and Spanish females,
is strikingly apparent : the former, with few ex
ceptions, are simple, coarse, and without the
most distant pretension to elegance ; the Span
ish on the contrary, are artful, lascivious, ele
gant, and lively.
To return to CastUlar — It commands a most
enchanting prospect, diversified in every way by
the hand of Nature, and extending for many

99
miles around. At the foot of the hill whereon
the town is situated, are immense forests sur
rounded by lofty mountains, of which the Sierra
de Ronda forms the principal part : upon this
ridge many towns and villages appear Uke white
specks in the distance, and through one open
ing, may distinctly be seen the Mediterranean,
Africa, Gibraltar, San Roque, and Algeciras.
After the governor was bedded in the stable of
OUT posada, we left this romantic spot to return
to the garrison, and were saluted, as on our ar
rival, with vollies of stones : one of the party,
however being struck, pointed his pistol at a
group of women, upon which, they immediately
ensconced themselves in their citadel. Having
descended the hiU, we visited the " choza" of
one of the charcoal burners, who inhabit the
woods in the summer months, to foUow their oc
cupation. The man was absent, but his wife,
an interesting girl about twenty years old, with
aU the "gracia" of her countrywomen, invited
us to step into her miserable abode, where
she quickly placed before us some stale bread,
roasted chesnuts, and water. Although it was
with difficulty we managed to squeeze into the
only apartment the place afforded, yet we found
ourselves so comfortable, that we might have
been induced to remain longer with our smoky
i2

100
hostess, had not her husband made his appear
ance, evidentiy displeased at seemg his wife
surrounded by so many young Englishmen. A
peseta, however, caused his surly looks to vanish,
and no doubt another, would have obtained for
us the offer of his bed for the night.
Upon regaining the convent, we espied the
four men lurking about, whom we had encoun
tered in the morning ; they appeared surprised to
see us return so soon, and probably it would have
suited their purpose much better had they met
with us at a later hour, and further from any habi
tation : however, in a short time we arrived safe
at the garrison, just as St. Peter, as the Spaniards
name the man who closes the gates every even
ing, made his appearance for the purpose of
putting a stop to aU communication with Spain
for the night.

CHAPTER IX.

Amongst the curiosities of Gibraltar, none is
more remarkable than the galleries which are
excavated at the north end of the rock. It is
said that in forming a passage to the summit,
the workmen by mistake cut out of the direct
line and made an opening outwards, which af
forded the idea of hollowing certain parts, and
placing cannon there, by means of which they
are able to sweep every inch of the isthmus
connecting the rock with the territories of Spain.
One battery overlooks another up the whole
side of the rock, presenting a most formid
able appearance. After passing through a
door by which the entrance to the principal
gallery is secured, an extensive cavern is seen,
lighted by numerous port-holes, pointing to
wards Spain. A Uttle distance further is
St. George's Hall, a vast chamber containing
several pieces of heavy ordnance : this cavern
is formed in a projection of the rock, and
appears from below, no larger than a comm6n
sized dove cote. The effect of a discharge
in this place is such, that great blocks of
stone are frequently loosened from above by
i3

102
the report, and roU thundering down to the
shingle at the base.
Having recovered from the fatigue of my
walk to Castillar, I crossed the straits to
Tangiers for a few days, being unwiUing to lose
the opportunity of observing the manners and
customs of the Moors. We left Gibraltar in a
small sloop, and in a short time passed Tarifa,
a pretty Uttle town on the Spanish coast, situ
ated at the foot of a lofty range of hUls, and de
fended by a battery on a smaU island. A few
years ago, several hundred emigrants who were
driven out of Gibraltar, captured this place un
der Valdez, and after havmg kept possession of
it for a few days, and defeated two detachments
of the French, who left nearly five hundred
dead under the walls, they were obUged to sur
render, andValdez being taken prisoner, was shot
with a number of his comrades, at Algeciras.
The governor of Gibraltar began to interfere
with the Spanish reftigees who had taken shel
ter there, and some were ordered to quit the
garrison, whilst the situation of others was ren
dered so disagreeable, that they engaged in the
above expedition. Amongst those who came to
Gibraltar, were several members of the Consti
tutional Cortes, many Spanish officers, and gen
tlemen of good family : some remained but a

103
short time in the garrison, others were reduced
to great distress, and supported themselves by
working as labourers, making cigars and keep
ing shops.
Early in the morning, having been becalmed
during the greater part of the night, we ar
rived at Tangiers. The town, from the bay,
had the appearance of an assemblage of large
tombs ; not a window was visible, and every
house was flat roofed, but those of the consul's,
which were built after the European fashion,
and ornamented with flag staffs for the stand
ards of their respective nations. About eight
o'clock the gates were opened, when we obtained
permission from the Bashaw to land, and hav
ing bribed the Captain of the port, we succeed
ed in getting our luggage on shore. The town
is surrounded with batteries : those which look
towards the sea had a good appearance, and
seemed in tolerable repair, whilst those on the
land side were overgrown with moss and weeds,
and were absolutely in ruins. On landing we
saw the remains of the forts which were blown
up by the British when they abandoned the
place. We passed the first gate, and had an
opportunity of examining one of the batteries :
the guns were mounted on wooden carriages, so
rotten, that they could not possibly have with-

104
stood the recoil of a single discharge. Through
two or three narrow streets flanked on each side
by dead walls, we were conducted to the resi
dence of Mr. Douglas, the British Consul, and
having presented our passports, we engaged
lodgings at the house of a Spaniard named Bias,
for four pesetas, or three shiUings a day. With
this man, we Uved exceedingly weU, our table al
ways being provided with the best fare the
place afforded, such as pigeons, fowls, veal,
eggs, dates, &c. After we had bargained with
our host, we took a stroU through the streets,
which, with the exception of the principal one,
were about three yards wide. Our attention
was suddenly arrested on turning the comer of
a building, by the singular appearance of a
Moorish female saint, entirely naked, and ap
parently crazy. She seemed about thirty
years of age, her thick wooUy hair was con
stantly moistened by a quantity of soft soap
which she carried on her head, and thus anoint
ed, she screamed and shouted along the street,
whilst the Moors looked upon her with awe and
veneration, as she threw herself into every va
riety of attitude she could devise.
The dress worn by the common people is
simUar to that of the Turks, and consists of a
jacket and fuU trowsers, with the long white

105
scarf, caUed the " haick" thrown over it, which
entirely covers them, and but for the exposure
ofthe face, causes the men to differ very little
in outward appearance from the women, who
being extremely careful to conceal their features,
envelope themselves so closely in this " haick"
that one eye only is visible. Having a great
curiosity to obtain a peep at these Moorish
beauties, I ventured at the risk of my life to the
flat roof of a lodging house, where several of
them were in the habit of taking the air dur
ing the evening, and succeeded in catching a
glimpse of a few cadaverous looking beings,
but the whole bevy on observing me, quickly va
nished, rather through the dread of being ob
served by their husbands, than the fear of ex
posing themselves to a stranger.
Tangiers has very Uttle trade, in consequence
of the high duties on exports, which prevent
the inhabitants of the town and neighbourhood
from disposing of their produce at as low a rate
as otherwise they might afford to do : their only
articles of commerce are a few fowls, and
oranges, which they convey to Gibraltar, from
whence they import dry goods. The princip^
tradesmen are Jews ; there are also a few
Moorish shops for the sale of ornaments, slip
pers, and cloth. The chief street is lined on

106
each side with these shops, which are most sin
gular of their kind : each consists of a hole
in the wall about four feet square, fiUed with
the different goods of the proprietor ; the door
occupies one side, and is composed of two pieces^
one when lifted up, forms a shade, and the
other a counter, on which he exposes different
articles for sale, and taking his station in the
hole behind, squats upon his bams for the
remainder of the day, the whole of his stock
being within his reach.
The market, or socko as it is caUed, is held
two mornings every week, from sun rise till
about eight o'clock, and is attended by people
from the surrounding country, caUed Moros de
Montanas, (Moors of the mountains,) who bring
their produce on camels and horses. This
market is weU suppUed with com, oil, fruit,
bread, cattle, butter, &c. it is held in the open
air, and the cattle are kiUed on the spot. The
butter, from the heat of the sun, is nearly re
duced to the consistency of oil, in which state
it is measured out by the dirty hands of the
Moors : one man who was seUing this article,
took up a quantity, and squeezed it by dropsinto
the scales, until it was the exact weight. Whilst
we stood in the market place, which is outside
of the walls on the road leading to Morocco,

107
several couriers arrived from the interior ; they
wore rich Turkish dresses, and were well
mounted and armed : as they rode their hand
some horses at full speed through the socko,
it was surprising to witness the skill and dex
terity they displayed in avoiding every obstacle
in their road. Their knees were nearly parallel
with the backs of their horses, and instead of a
whip, they made use of spurs or spikes, about
six inches long, attached to the stirrup iron.
The horses of this country are shod with pieces
of sheet iron, cut to the shape of the foot, with
a small hole in the centre. The socko at a
short distance afforded a singularly lively spec
tacle ; there were at least a thousand men,
chiefly habited in the white " haick," which con
stituted nearly the whole of their apparel, and
answered every purpose of a cloak : some again
were dressed in red, and others in blue gar
ments, whUst all had white turbans, or scarlet
caps. Having obtained permission from the Pacha,
who allowed us two soldiers as a guard, we set
out one morning for the interior, upon a shoot
ing excursion. We took a southerly direction
through a verdant and well cultivated country,
numerously stocked with horned cattle. Hav
ing passed a smaU village, the houses of which

108
were buUt in the style of those at Tangiers, we
met several countrywomen who invariably took
the precaution of concealing their features, by
drawing the " haick" more closely around their
persons, and squinting at " the dogs of Chris
tians" with one eye. On our return, we went
through a Moorish garden ; the owner loaded
us with oranges and lemons, which grew in such
profusion on aU sides, that many of the branches
were broken from the trees, in consequence of
the weight of their beautiful fruit. In the
neighbourhood of the viUage were numerous
storks, quite tame, which are held in great ven
eration by the Moors, from their eagerness to
destroy the snakes with which the country is
infested. During our stay at Tangiers, we visited the
gardens of the Swedish and Portuguese con
suls : in the latter, where the head gardener was
a renegade Spaniard, we shot an abundance of
large birds, which feed upon oranges, and are
delicious eating: at every shot we destroyed
moi:e oranges than the birds were worth, but
having presented the gardener with a trifle, he
was perfectly indifferent to the havock we made.
These renegades are numerous throughout the
states of Barbary ; they ai-e Christians, whom
circumstances have induced or compeUed to

109
change their religion, and thereby become sub
jects of his majesty the emperor. They enjoy
the same privileges as a native, but are on no
account or occasion whatever, suffered to leave
the country. This gardener was a Valencian
by birth, and in the early part of his life had
been taken prisoner by a corsair, and made a
slave. To regain his liberty he became a Mus-
stdman, and thus debarred himself from every
opportunity of revisiting his native land. He
spoke bitterly of the Moors, and seemed very
iU-contented with his situation : he was not how
ever a very rigid observer of the Koran, for al
though he was shy in the presence of the
Moors, yet he did not hesitate to drink the for
bidden liquor when with us, and before he quit
ted our company, it was a difficult matter for
him to walk without assistance.
Tangiers contains several mosques, which no
Christian is allowed to enter upon pain of being
compelled to embrace Islamism, nor can a Jew
even pass the doors with his slippers on his feet.
The principal building of this description, was
a fine edifice, the roof was supported by several
noble pillars, the floor was neatly tiled, and in
the centre was an elegant little fountain ; when the
Moors attend prayers, they take off their slip
pers, and kneel with their faces to the south. K

110
The marriage of a wealthy Jew's daughter
took place before we left, and afforded an
amusmg scene. The room in which the cere
mony was performed, was open to all, a privi
lege of which the Moors did not fail to avail
themselves : amongst others who came to par
ticipate in the treat, was a Moorish female, very
different from the rest of her countrywomen ;
she was unveiled, impudently lively, and wore
extremely short petticoats. This was the third
night of the wedding, but the guests seemed not
to relax in their gormandizing propensities ; the
feasting generally continues for a week. The
bride was seated on a raised platform at one
end of the apartment, and was concealed from
our view by curtains. The friends and ac
quaintances of both parties were ranged round
a table covered with sweetmeats and cakes,
where they continued chaunting half an hour in
praise of the newly married couple. When
this part of the ceremony was concluded, the
bride was led forth from her hiding place, and
conducted to a stool at the table, which was
elevated above the seats of her guests. This
appeared to be a signal for more active oper
ations, and the various dishes of confections,
conserves, and degustatory morsels, began ra
pidly to disappear through the Mediterranean

Ill
fauces of the company. Those who could not
exercise the powers of mastication quick enough,
deliberately stowed into their pockets every
thing that came within their grasp. Others,
who were near the lady, began to tickle her
about her face and person most unceremoniously^
in which amusement the Moors seemed to take
particular pleasure, whilst the bridegroom look
ed on and laughed immoderately all the time.
The bride however, preserved the most imper
turbable gravity, not even once lifting up her
eyes, nor moving a muscle of her countenance.
She appeared about twenty years old, and had
large black eyes, and a complexion perfectly
colourless. The day preceding our departure, two men
who had committed robbery in the country,
were flogged through the streets of the town.
They were sentenced to receive a thousand
lashes every day until they died under the pun
ishment. The unfortunate culprits were fast
ened upon two donkeys, with their faces to
wards the taU, whilst the executioners struck
them over the shoulders with a heavy thong,
compelling them to cry out at the same time,
" this is the way in which all who rob in the
dominions of his majesty the emperor are pun
ished."
k2

112
Tangiers is governed by a pacha under the
emperor : his residence is in the castle, which
is situated on an emmence in the town, en
closed by its own walls : here we were not al
lowed to intrude, but however we had a sight of
his highness as he took his evening ride on his
mule, accompanied by his attendants, from
vvhom he was scarcely to be distinguished, their
dresses being so nearly sinular. The officer
who had the command of the civil part of the
business, was generally to be seen squatted on
his hams in a kind of meat staU, where he ad
ministered justice ; he also had the command of
the soldiers in the town, and had to examine
weights and scales, and to settle disputes. Al
though he might be considered a fair specimen
of Moorish honesty, yet he had the imperti
nence to ask me five dollars as the price of a
hedge-hog with which I saw him amusing him
self. The uniform of the miUtary is concealed
by their cloaks ; they are armed with long
muskets and a sabre. Unfortunately, we had
no opportunity of seeing them exercise.
The most prominent feature in the character
of the Moors, is their hatred and contempt of
Christians, whom they affect to treat as beings
of an inferior grade : those however, who have
visited Europe have a very different opinion.

113
It is absolutely necessary to take a guard in
proceeding to the interior, and likewise to be
extremely cautious in the streets after dusk, as
many who have not adopted these measures, can
well testify. They are a fine looking set of
men, with dark complexions, beards, and mus-
tachios. The hair is entirely shaved off the
head, with the exception of one lock, by which,
according to Volney, Mahomet is enabled to
pull them into paradise. The better classes are
dressed in jackets of blue, or scarlet cloth, often
embroidered with gold, which fit close to the
neck ; a red cap with a blue tassel and a white
turban constitute their head dress, whilst loose
white trowsers, and yellow slippers complete
their costume.
As an instance of the barbarity of the Moors
towards the Christians, the following anecdote
will suffice. A year or two before I visited
Tangiers, a vessel was becalmed off Cape Spar
tel, which is about eight miles to the west : there
were several officers on board as passengers,
who took the ship's boat, and went on shore in
order to amuse themselves. Two of the party,
who had advanced to a greater distance than
the rest, were suddenly surprised by a body of
natives, who seized upon one of them, whilst
the other made his escape to the boat after hav-
k3

114
ing been repeatedly fired at by the Moors. He
awaited the return of his brother officer at a
short distance from the shore, but finding that
he did not make his appearance, they were
obliged to sail for Gibraltar without him. On
their arrival at he garrison, they immediately
informed the governor of the circumstance,
who sent to Tangiers to demand the unfortu
nate officer from the pacha. Here they pro
cured a party of soldiers, and proceeded to the
spot where their comrade had been taken pri
soner, which presented a scene of the most hor
rid barbarity. The body was discovered with
the feet alone above ground ; he had been
buried alive with his head downwards ! No
farther search or inquiry was instituted after
the murderers, which most probably would
have been useless, as the whole nation utterly
abhors the Christians, and the very guard
seemed gratified at the sight of a British officer
thus inhumanly put to death.
After spending a week in Tangiers and the
vicinity, we embarked on board the consul's
packet boat for Gibraltar. It was just before
sun -rise, and the most delicate hues were
spreadbg over the horizon. An universal still
ness seemed to reign throughout the scene. As
we walked through tlie town towards the bay,

115
though so early, the shops were open, and
more than one good Moslem had taken his seat
without his door, and was reading the splendid
promises of his prophet, or teaching his chUd
to pray. The " Muezzin," as he is caUed, had
already began to summon the people to their
devotions. His voice, when heard at the break
of day, or at sun-set, from a distance, has a
beautiful and imposing effect, Uke that of a
being calling from the upper air. Far off on
the waters we heard his cry in the Moorish
language — " There is but one God, God alone
is great and everlasting, and Mahomet is his
prophet." When nearly half across the straits, a stiff
easterly breeze arose with a heavy swell ; a sea
struck the vessel with such force as to unship
the rudder : the saUs were let loose immediately,
and we were fortunate enough to keep her head
to the wind, until the rudder was secured, and
arrived at Gibraltar after a passage of thirteen
hours.

CHAPTER X.

During my stay at Gibraltar, the neighbour
ing seas were much infested by Columbian pri
vateers, one of which, commanded by a Scotch
man of the name of Cunningham, had done
considerable injury to the trade of the Spani
ards. Being determined however, if possible,
to put a stop to his proceedings, they fitted out
a brig and two schooners, each of greater force
than his small vessel, to watch his motions. In
defiance of these odds against him, Cunningham
put to sea with the first fair wind, and had a
slight engagement behind the Rock, in Catalan
Bay, in which the Spaniards kept as far aloof
as possible, hoping that some random shot
might take effect : in this however, they were
disappointed, whilst he succeeded in shooting
away the foremast of each of the schooners.
After sunset the brig ranged up alongside of him,
and poured in a broadside, of which only one shot
occasioned mischief, and that carried away Cun
ningham's arm. Shortly afterwards, the pri
vateer was cast away by a gale of wind, on the
neutral ground ; the captain escaped with his
treasure, but most of the crew were made pri-

117
soners, and one or two poor wretches, after re
maining on the wreck a whole day, attempted
to save themselves by swimming, and were in
humanly shot by the Spanish troops drawn up
on shore for that purpose. Several other ac
tions took place between the Spaniards and the
Columbians, in aU of wliich, the former confirm
ed Bonaparte's opinion of them as sailors. In
the revenue department however, the Spaniards
have some active and useful officers ; one in
particular named Serafin, became the terror of
the Gibraltar smugglers. This man almost an-
nihUated the smuggling business out of Gibral
tar, and captured several of the finest vessels
engaged in this line. To the seizure of the
Lord Rawdon, a fine xebec, almost every eye
on the Rock was witness : she had been chased
into the bay, and fired at repeatedly after she
was under the protection of the guns of the gar
rison, which nevertheless remained mute : when
within a few yards of the anchorage ground, an
unfortunate chain shot carried away one of her
masts, and so impeded her progres, that she was
quickly overtaken, and carried away in triumgji
to Algeciras. During this time, the officers of
the garrison had not been inactive, but the go
vernor was absent, and without his authority,
owing to some existing regulations, no gun

118
could be fired to revenge any insult, however
gross. Orders arrived at last, but both vessels
were far beyond the reach of the batteries,
and though a fire was opened upon them, and
the guns were loaded with double charges, and
elevated as much as possible, it was to no pur
pose ; several carriages were broken, and the
Spaniards sailed off with their prize.
It was on a lovely morning that I visited Al
geciras, to witness a buU-fight. On crossing
the bay, several persons were busUy engaged
with the aid of the diving bell, in looking after
treasure or valuables, supposed to have been
on board the vessels which were sunk during
the siege. The water is particularly clear, and
the bottom may distinctly be seen at a vast
depth. Algeciras is a pretty Uttie town, nearly
opposite to Gibraltar, and contains about five
thousand inhabitants. In the centre is a neatly
flagged square surrounded by trees, with a foun
tain in the middle. The only object worthy of
remark about the place, is an aqueduct of Ro
man construction, consisting of eighteen or
twenty arches. The bull-ring is one of the
largest in this part of the country, but unfortu
nately, the fight had taken place the day preri-
ous, and six horses were kiUed in the arena.

119
The houses are low, and each of them have
balconies, which are boarded half way up, for
this obvious reason, — the petticoats of the ladies
are worn extremely short. The females, when
they venture out, preserve the ancient Moorish
custom, of concealing the greatest part of their
features with the mantilla. Billiards, cigars,
buU-fights, and lemonade, seem to form their
chief pleasures, and each individual appears to
Uve for no other purpose than to consume his
time in enjoyment.
Algeciras is defended by a fort situated on a
small island at a short distance from the town,
where a few Constitutionalists under Ordonez
distinguished themselves against the French.
At the time I allude to, the town was in the
possession of the French, and the fort was at
tacked by two sixty-gun frigates and a brig,
whilst those on the island could only bring one
gun to bear upon the enemy. The frigates
opened an incessant fire upon the island, to
which the solitary gun of the Spaniards answer
ed at intervals, and could easily be distinguished
from the French broadsides, by the sullen deep
ness of its roar. After fighting for two hours,
during which time the surrounding country had
become enveloped in smoke, the three vessels
were observed to sheer off, while the same boom-

120
ing sound was stiU heard to compUment them,
as they slowly saUed away. During this affair,
the Une wall on the opposite side of the bay pre
sented a most animated scene ; the town was
completely deserted, the most intense anxiety
was pourtrayed in every countenance, and as
much money would have been voluntarily con
tributed by the spectators, to have seen a French
mast fall, as would have built a new frigate. As
the poor fellows could not be benefited by
holding out against their enemies in such a
small place, they thought proper to escape in
the night, and the next day the frigates crossed
the bay to Gibraltar, where they threw their
dead overboard.
Having procured a mule, I returned to the
garrison along the shores of the bay, passing by
Campamento and the neutral ground. My
ride was extremely pleasant, for the breezes
from the sea moderated to eui agreeable temper
ature, the scorching rays of the sun. It was a
daily source of amusement to me, whilst in
Gibraltar, to rise early and spend a couple of
hours before breakfast in the market, where I
was generally greeted by the Moors upon my en
trance, with, " You buy, you buy, Signor Capi-
tano," accompanying this morceau of eloquence
by offering to my notice some part of their pro-

121
duce at thrice its value. Under the mild skies
of Spain, every vegetable production is rapidly
matured by the ceaseless activity of nature, and
the fruits of the south offer a greater variety,
and are more luxuriant, than those of any other
part of Europe, Grapes, lemons, oranges, figs,
pomegranates, olives, pistachio-nuts, melons, al
monds, capers, peaches, &c, are conveyed daily
to market by the neighbouring peasantry. Ve
getables of aU kinds, potatoes, artichokes, oni
ons, asparagus, and garUc, all thrive well, and
the low rate at which they are disposed of, is
surprising. The finest muscatel grapes were to
be purchased for one halfpenny per pound, and
figs and melons equally cheap. Cigars and
cigarilgos are continually hawked about, and
appear to form a staple commodity, as essential
to the Spaniards, as the more immediate neces
saries of life.
On the whole, the Spaniards are a vigorous
and high-spirited race : the men in general are
tall and thin ; their hair is black, and their eyes
are full of animation : the women are pleasing and
weU-formed, with glowing eyes, dark hair, and
a yellow complexion. The entire nation is
much attached to ancient customs and amuse
ments : their bull-fights, their dances and games,
as weU as their dress, the Capa and theRhede-

122
xilla of the men, and the Mantilla and Bus-
quina of the women, are truly national. Obsti
nacy is the principal defect in the Spanish cha
racter: thus the Biscayan is represented as
driving a nail into the waU with his bead,
whilst the still more obstinate Arragonian is
figured in the same act and attitude, but with
the point of the nail turned outwards !
Before the approach of winter, finding my
self greatly reUeved by my trip, and under no
apprehension of the effects of my native cli
mate, I returned home, though contrary to my
first intention, and was quickly wafted from the
sun-burnt hiUs of Spain, to the shores of old
England.

CHAPTER XI.

As it was now time to think of reading for my
degree, for the stock of knowledge which I had
taken with me -from school to coUege was by
this time lamentably diminished, I repaired to a
smaU town in one of the midland counties, there
to pore over Greek and Roman authors under
the guidance of a private tutor, and to vegetate
on rice pudding and potato pie, with an occa
sional round of beef, doled out to the female
pensioners of the house and myself, by a round
of woman. This happiness however, I was not
destined to enjoy long : to qualify myself for
holding an exhibition, (and I think I have held
one for the greatest part of my life,) terms were
to be kept, and commons devoured, and there
fore I hurried up to Alma Mater to battel, and to
be stared at as a nondescript by coach passen
gers, whenever they should happen to see me
in fuU academicals, doing a bit of country for
my health's sake. i
When I arrived at Oxford, it was late in the
evening, and I busied myself in unpacking and
arranging my books till past midnight, eager to
commence a regular spar with Aristotle and
l2

124
Co, as soon as I should have recovered from
the fatigues of my journey. I had made an end
of my breakfast the next morning, and was al
ready elbow deep in the Ethics, when I was
somewhat startled by a smart single rap at the
door, and once more I was afraid of " a dun.
Horrible monster ! hated by gods and men,"
" come in," I cried boldly, and beheld a broad
set gentleman in mahogany polished tops, with
his hair smoothed on bis forehead in utter con
tempt of all vegetable curling fluid, a shabby
blue frock, and a yellow wipe round his neck,
who laconically introduced himself by asking if
my name was  : upon my replying in the af
firmative, ' sorry,' he muttered, 'but here's a pa
per what concerns you,' exhibiting a huge docu
ment as he spoke, with the"Dominus lUumina-
tio mea" at the top, signed and sealed by the
Vice Chancellor, and insinuating that my body
would be wanting at the large hotel in the city,
unless I satisfied a certain son of St. Crispin for
the greatest part of the understanding I had
ventured to call my own, since I entered my
name on the university books. I desired this
gentleman, who had so gratuitously caUed to
inquire after my health, to rest himself for a

125
short time, and I would seek for the amount of
his demand ; but the fellow, laughing at my ig
norance of all etiquette upon such occasions, or
more probably considering it a shallow fetch
upon my part, in order to do him, replied, with
a self-complacent smile at his own discernment,
"Oh dear! no. Sir, when we makes a caption,
we never allows ajellaman out of our sight, but
I'll follow you any where, provided you behaves
decent-like." " Needs must when the devil
drives," and with a sad foreboding, I went to
the Principal to take my name off the books. I
never experienced greater kindness from any
individual, than from this man : he dismissed
my attendant, and intimated that a trip to France
would be beneficial to my health. I returned
to my lodgings, and in the height of my rage, I
stamped on my cap, and tore my gown to rib
bons, I cursed, and swore, and raved ; I believe
I was mad, at least, I hope I was.
During the few minutes which elapsed be
tween the accident related above, and my de
parture from Oxford, I had a narrow escape a
second time : whilst with the Principal, another
of the top-booted fraternity, " ecce iterum Cris-
pinus," wished to see me, but my landlord for
tunately directed him to the Mitre Inn, and
and whilst he was busily engaged there, I threw
l3

126
myself into a yellow, and vanished during the
hubbub of an election for " the wen," as a cer
tain facetious gentleman styles the metropolis.
" Ce n' est que le premier pas qui coute," as
the French say, and from this period I date all
my troubles and disappointments.
The evening after my arrival in town, I was
on the road to Dover, and shortly afterwards
landed at Calais, The expectations and ideas
I had formed concerning the mode of travelling
in France, were in no wise realized, PostiUons,
dillies, pomatum, jack boots, and hair powder,
I had wrongly imagined were absolutely neces
sary, and mysteriously connected with a voyage
in France.
In our own island we could not possibly have
anything more completely d, F Anglaisethajv^e
conveyances between Calais and Boulogne ; they
are built after the manner of our stages, the
horses are harnessed in the same way, and the
coachmen, who are also EngUsh, have the same
airs, slang, and^o^* peculiar to the tribe, for which
they have so long been noted. At Boulogne sur
mer, the first regular DUly made its appearance,
and at the same time the queue and boots of
the postilion, the former knocking synchronously
between his shoulders to the cracking of his whip,
and the latter, which though in this instance were

127
of a moderate size, yet as we approached the capi
tal, seemed to increase at every stage, till at last
they became absolute trunks. Towards mid
night, a little before we arrived at the inn where
we were to partake of a supper, a female pas
senger who rode on the Imperial, so continually
annoyed our sleepy conductor, that my curiosity
was aroused, and I over-heard a conversation to
the following effect; "Mais Monsieur," ejacu
lated the lady, in a half supplicating, half des
ponding tone, " j'ai besoin, moi, j'ai besoin de
faire, quand arriverons nous a a" ! " Oui Mad
ame," responded the conductor with a grunt, at
the same time dropping his chin within his cra
vat, and again we rode onwards in silence Sud
denly a shrill voice exclaimed in most dolorous
accents, " O mon dieu, attendez, attendez un
petit moment, pour I'amour de dieu," and the
vehicle having stopped, the lady descended with
considerable alacrity, " Dans un instant," she
exclaimed whilst below, and at last, after the
coquin of a conductor had threatened to leave
her, she returned to her seat, muttering sac H
papier, and diantre, and expressing her aston
ishment at the conductor's impoliteness, vrho
would not afford a lady a little time pour s ar
ranger. Without any further adventure I arrived at

128
Paris, and established myself at one of the
principal hotels in the Rue RicheUeu. During
my stay I met with a lady who displayed towards
me every symptom of " maternal love." She
arranged in her own mind, to return with me to
England, and introduce herself as " bone of my
bone," and with this intent, packed up her ward
robe, and wrote a farewell letter to the bon mari.
Feeling no inclination however, to co-operate in
the schemes of this amiable woman I bade her
adieu, leaving her under the impression that my
letters would inform her in what manner to act,
and thus I fortunately escaped her snares, and
the additional misery she would have entailed
upon me, and after a short stay, returned to my
native country.
Being now reduced to a nonplus, " without
any visible means of Uving," I enUsted into the —
regiment of dragoon guards, but having formerly
broken a small bone of my arm, which had been
unskilfully managed, my services were dispensed
with, and again I was at liberty to consider of
some future employment.

CHAPTER XII.

Sic placet ? an melius quis habet suadere ? secundd
Ratem occupare quid moramur alite ?

HoR.

After remaining at home for a considerable
length of time, and finding myself as far from
any decided resolution as ever, my friends form
ed the praiseworthy resolution of sending me
out as a village schoolmaster amongst the Al-
gonquins, or the buffalo hunters, in the wilder
ness of Upper Canada. My former habits of
strenuous idleness, I was aware, rendered me un
fit at the time for such a situation, yet still as I
had no other visible resource left, I was in a
manner compelled to embrace the proposal,
though inwardly determined never to exert my
self in the line of life thus pointed out, but with
a reckless "here goes," to throw myself on the
wide world and struggle against the frowns of
fortune, or float idly down the stream should she
favour me with her smiles. To leave my native land
again, as I thought for ever, was indeed most
painful to my feelings ; but I was young, buoyed
up by hope, utterly regardless of the future, and

130
anxious to forget the past. This latter how
ever, it was out of my power to do ; the ties of
nature held paramount sway over my affections,
and a thought of the dear friends I was about
to leave, would frequently flash across my me
mory, and cause a tear to start, which, with all
my apparent stoical calmness and indifference,
I was not ashamed to wipe away. I considered
that I should be a stranger in a strange land,
with Uberty to foUow my own inclinations,
and accordingly made preparations for my voy
age, with alacrity. I was ripe for the trip,
and though I felt no predilection for America,
nor any stupid iUusions of retirement as a
"backwoodsman of Kentucky," I was pleased
with the "grata novitate," and became eager to
take my departure, lest my friends should change
the scheme they had planned for me, and thus
disappoint the spirit of curiosity aroused by the
mania for travelling, which I had always enter
tained. The day previous to my departure was one of
the most unhappy I ever remember to have pass
ed. How frequently did I mourn over my
former folly, how deeply ! For a few paltry
gratifications, if that could be caUed gratifica
tion which afforded no true enjoyment, I had

131
bartered peace and happiness, ruined my hopes,
and crushed the fond expectations of my friends :
I am now to pay for my imprudence, and must
now stand the hazard of the die ! I go to scenes
where Nature xeigns supreme, where the power
and influence of man is scarcely perceptible in
the immensity ^of wilderness, and the properties
of civilization are almost unknown. — An exile in
the wilds of a distant land, I shall be deprived
of the charms of society, which soften the evUs,
and enhance the enjoyments of life, which ren
der Ufe itself a boon. I shall be deprived of
those friends whose smile gladdens the heart,
whose sympathy consoles in calamity, and whose
experience directs through every danger — these
I shall leave for cold, unfeeling, half-civUized
strangers, for soUtude and seclusion. But why
should I conjure up such sad anticipations, why
steal a march on the future ! Away with me
lancholy forebodings and regret ! Let misfor
tune and adversity pour down their "pitiless
storm" o'er my head, " blow winds, and crack
your cheeks," when once across the Atlantic
wave, my breast shall neither fear the frowns of
fortune, nor the decrees of fate. Such was the
general tenor of my thoughts on the day before
I embarked : at night I retired to rest, to dream
of Niagara, scalps, and tomahawks, until an

132
early hour, when I was summoned to rise and
go on board with all possible expedition.
With an aching heart I saw my native shores
recede, and faintly fade away, tiU at last they
appeared as a blue speck on the horizon, and
then were shut out from my sight altogether.
I gazed on the sun sinking into the vast ocean
of waters with mingled feeUngs of pleasure and
regret, and the many Uttle endearing circum
stances which a train of melancholy thoughts at
that hour recaUed to mind, impressed me, if
possible, with a still greater regard for the land
of my nativity, than I had ever before experi
enced. "This," I said to myself, " may pos
sibly be the last time I shaU witness the setting
of yon glorious orb, whilst so near my own dear
country ;" then followed a train of gloomy
thoughts, which led me to calculate the prob
able chances of my return, and to muse upon
the changes that I might naturally expect would
take place amongst my own famUy, long ere
that period would arrive. These inquietudes
however soon wore off: the second morning
after my departure saw me rise equaUy regard
less of the past and careless of the future. Our
vessel was my world, and I had not then a
thought beyond her : my mind was soothed by
that ease which fine weather at sea can alone

133
produce, and if any unpleasant thought con
cerning the future obtruded itself, it was speedily
and agreeably dissipated by the bright aid of
hope and fancy.
Our little coterie on board consisted of five
cabin passengers, and a great number of poor
emigrants in the steerage, some of whom were
running away from their wives, and some from
" mothers never wed," whilst on the other hand,
wives were going to America in search of run
away husbands : several had allowed themselves
to be shipped off by their respective parishes in
consideration of a small sum, under the proviso
that they were never to return. In the cabin
were two speculators besides myself, and two
sons of Thespis, who were to appear as stars of
the first magnitude in New York. These last
mentioned characters afforded us no inconsider
able amusement : every evening, one or the
other would favour us with a specimen of his
talents, and if the weather proved too cold or
squally to go on deck, a soliloquy, or a mono-
polylogue would generally enliven our small
circle, and contribute much to banish ennui.
Our two black stewards they dressed out in
their own habiliments, the one as Justice Wood
cock, the other as Paul Pry, in which costume
they invariably waited at table during the voy-
M

134
age, until the last Sunday we were on board,
when the Justice in an unlucky hour, eager to
shew off his skill in dancing on the cabouse, be
fore a little red haired Yorkshire girl, for whom
he had conceived the tender passion, fell through
the roof into a large pan of scalding water, which
his provident feUow had placed on the fire for
culinary purposes. This unfortunate occurrence
however did not lessen his penchant for the lady
in the slightest degree, for as soon as we landed,
he proved the ardour and sincerity of his attach
ment by marrying her, though to my certain
knowledge the fellow had a wife and family in
Liverpool. Our vessel made but slow progress on its
voyage, and he who knows the monotonous
round of amusement which the Umits of a little
world like ours affords, will not deprecate the
expedients we had recourse to, to fiU up the
wearisome days and nights of our protracted
voyage. Raffles, cards, auctions of wearing ap
parel, throwing bottles over board hermetically
sealed with our names enclosed, reading, smok
ing, and reciting, were all resorted to by turns.
and every expedient was put in force to kUl the
common enemy, till at length, after a voyage of
forty-three days, we came in sight of the shores
of America, After passing Sandy Hook light

135
house, and entering the narrows, we beheld a
rich and beautiful country glowing in all the
charms of nature. The broad river, the neat
and elegant country seats, scattered along the
shore, offering a pleasant and cool retreat, the
city itself sleeping on the bosom of the waters,
and surrounded by ships from every part of the
habitable globe, all presented to the eye a most
lively and interesting scene, immeasurably supe
rior to that which my imagination had pictured,
or could possibly have conceived. The maize
fields, and fields of corn, were luxuriating far
and wide under the genial influence of an Amer
ican summer, and even the appearance of un
cultivated nature contributed to the beauty of
the view, whilst every thing conspired to make
one impression on my mind of joy and satisfac
tion. It was evening when we anchored, and all
nature seemed at rest, save the "busy hum of
men," which ever and anon stole upon the ear,
as it was wafted from the city towards our ves
sel. The moon shone brightly on the surface
ofthe waters, as the boat approached the quay,
and threw a mellowed light on every object
around, perfectly congenial with my feelings.
As I beheld the cordial embrace, and the un
affected pleasure of meeting between friends
m2

136
long separated by the roUing ocean, and gazed
on the happy countenances of those who had
just discovered their anxious relatives, a melan
choly feeling shot across my imagination, whilst
contemplating a scene in which I had no further
interest than that which the pleasure of witness
ing the feUcity of my feUow creatures afforded :
alas ! there was no one to welcome me ; I alone
seemed a stranger, a being without any con
nexion, and one who was an outcast from so
ciety. After a short stroll on shore, I returned
to my solitary berth, now more solitary than
ever, and pondered in my own mind the pecu
liar case in which I was situated, until sleep
put an end to my useless and painful reflections.
The commerce of New York is amazingly
extensive, and its population very considerable.
If we reflect for a moment that this city of " the
Manhattans," two centuries ago, was a wilder
ness, occasionally Visited by the red hunter, or
a tribe of wandering Indians in search of a con
venient place of settlement, we cannot but be
struck with wonder at the rapid progress wliich
civiUzation has made. Instead of a forest, we
have a flourishing city, elegantly built, rich in
the extent of her resources, and the advantages
given her by nature, admirably adapted for a
sea port from its happy situation on an island

137
at the confluence of two mighty rivers, the
North or Hudson river, which divides it from
New Jersey, and the East river, which sepa
rates it from Long Island. The scenery on
the banks of the former is imposing and mag
nificent beyond description, whilst the glittering
confusion of the numberless sail, gUding peace
ably over its extended bosom, adds considerably
to the splendid effect which the varied pros
pect affords.
The principal buildings have nothing remark
able in outward appearance, if we except the
post office, custom house, and the city hall : the
town itself is remarkably neat and clean, with
wide and commodious streets, the chief and
most elegant of which is Broadway, running
through the middle of the city from one extrem
ity to the other, and rivaUing in breadth and
beauty even the Boulevards of Paris. The
Park and Bowery Theatres, which claim prece
dence of the others, are spacious and elegantly
decorated : each is provided with a handsome
saloon, where male and female visitors partake
of refreshments during the evening, whilst
above are " punch rooms" appropriated to fair
fraUties and their admirers, for the same pur
pose. About this time, the dancing of a French
m3

138
company was the principal attraction at the
Bowery Theatre, and certainly it was above
mediocrity; to such a pitch did some of the
youth of New York carry their passion for see
ing the danseuses pirouette and " point the toe,"
that not a few robbed their parents, and others
their employers, in order to indulge in this gra
tification, to the great horror of all puritanical
followers of old Wesley or Penn, who no doubt,
would coincide in opinion with the mother of
the celebrated Hugh Peters of coxcombical
memory, that even sulphur-coloured leggings
and a hat cocked a little on one side would in
evitably lead to perdition. One old Yankee,
the father of a family, put an advertisement
into the paper, giving a fuU description of his
spem gregis, and concluded by offering his
thanks to any one who would take the trouble
to turn his son out of the house, in the event of
meeting him there !
In a ramble to the water side, my attention
was one day arrested by a coUoquy between two
woolly headed blacks, each of whom claimed
superiority of descent. The one attacked the
other by calling him " a d— d Guinea nigger ;"
his adversary retorted, and stripping up his shirt
sleeve, exclaimed, whUst pattmg his arm after
the manner of Kean, " me white blood here.

139
me white blood, you black devil." — To settle
matters, they determined to fight it out, and a
more atrocious specimen of gentlemanly satis
faction, was never beheld : the combatants sepa
rated to some distance, and then ran head
foremost against each other, with terrible vio
lence : the noise of their skulls as they came in
contact, was like that of two rams when butting
one another, and each succeeding shock seemed
more powerful than the last, and sufficiently for
cible to have stunned any one whose caput was
not immoderately thick. After five or six ter
rible concussions, they resumed their work,
each proud no doubt, of his affinity to the
whites, and " white blood," when both were
black as ebony.
Meeting with one of my fellow passengers, I
accompanied him to a soiree at the house of an
eminent merchant in New York, being desu'ous
of seeing a little society before I left the coun
try : my chaperon had a brother in the city who
paid his addresses to one of the daughters of
our host, and I soon discovered that he himself
intended to strengthen the alUance more closely,
by proposing for the other. During the course
of the evening, it was intimated to me that I
could sing very well when I chose, and our
hostess engaged her youngest daughter to ac-

140
company me on the forte-piano. I assured the
company that I had no voice, and they in re
turn assured me that I was a capital singer:
these two lies being uttered, the long kid gloves
were immediately laid aside as a " note of pre
paration :" with some difficulty my divine Saint
CeciUa and myself waded through " My pretty
page," which all agreed was a most capital
performance. Afterwards, at the instigation of
mamma, we were favoured with the " Battle of
Prague," " Rosseau's dream," and " Home,
sweet home," when my companion, who had
been eyeing the movements of the Uttle red men
under the wires, intimated, that it would be
much more agreeable to the company, if she
would play " something lively :" in compliance
with his request, away she rattled with, " We're
a' noddin," and " Charley is my darling," when
stUl he requested
" A louder yet, and yet a louder strain,"
and concluded by making a coarse observation,
in still coarser language, which caused his im
mediate dismissal from the house. Of course I
expressed a suitable horror at the language that
had escaped the lips of my friend, and retired
shortly after him. Whether the individual in
question manifested a becoming sorrow for his

141
ebriety, and has since learned to be more
guarded, and whether the liaison was carried
on, I have yet to learn.
I joined a party one morning in order to
witness a " dusting match," or a trot to Harlem,
where the loser was to pay for a dinner for the
company. Two raw-boned diminutive horses,
and a brace of sulkies were brought out, (which
name perhaps might have been more aptly be
stowed on the drivers,) and horses were pro
vided for the others, when we set out. It was
with the utmost difficulty I could keep pace
with either of the parties for half the distance :
they^at motionless in their vehicles, and never
looked to the right or left ; the horses ran along,
as though perfectly accustomed to these trials
of speed, and aware on what their success de
pended. Harlem is a pleasant village about
nine miles from New York, and the winner, if I
recollect aright, went over the ground in thirty-
six minutes. After dinner, when we had aU
sacrificed rather freely to the rosy cheeked god,
I had an opportunity of witnessing a practical
Yankee joke : the loser paid rather reluctantly
for every succeeding bottle of wine, and one of
the party determined to " serve him out :" for
this purpose, having procured some grease, he
beplastered his hair with it, and then half fill-

142
ing his hat with lamp-black, pressed it down,
until the lower part of his face alone was vis
ible : as the unfortunate subject slowly lifted
up his castor, he presented a most ludicrous
picture: the tide of risibility which now " burst
its continents," completely overwhelmed him : in
vain did he attempt to inquire the reason of
our mirth ; every effort was blown to atoms by
repeated discharges of laughter. Silence how
ever was at length restored, and one of the
company begged leave to propose a toast, which
was couched in the fonowing words : " May
we never want American hickory to tan the
British hides," to this succeeded " thunders of
applause ;" this Uttle slap at the English how
ever I determined to resent, and in my turn
asked permission to give another, which I hap-
pUy recollected at the moment : " May the
British constitution endure Uke the oak, and its
enemies fall like the leaves :" hereupon a scene
ensued which I pass over, merely stating in the
lines of a well known song, —
" Then a quarrel arose, some reflections were cast,
But for decency's sake we'll not mention what past."

CHAPTER XIII.

" Cras ingens iterabimus sequor." — Hor.

The inhabitants of New York drink an im
mense quantity of ardent spirits, but it is a case
of rare occurrence to see any one staggering
through the streets, as in England, unless it be a
fresh importation from Europe. In the coffee
houses, at the bar, are always placed pieces of
cod-fish, cheese, and biscuits, for the customer to
take as a reUsh if he chooses, gratis, and the de
canter containing wine or spirits is placed before
him, that he may help himself ad Ubitum, and
the upshot will only be four cents, or two-pence.
Many of the merchants, whose counting houses
I visited, had several boxes of cigars, and brandy,
sherry, and Madeira, for themselves and those
employed to partake of, whenever they felt dis
posed. All persons in trade style themselves
merchants, even if they are in the most huqii-
ble way of business. I remember one fellow
who thus classed himself, (though most proba
bly he only kept an apple stall,) overtook, or
pretended to overtake me one morning in great

144
haste, and wished to borrow ten doUars, as he
had a large sum to make up, and was unwilling
to trouble his banker, whose house was at a
most inconvenient distance. I gave him the
money, and he then recoUected that he had not
sufficient cash to pay for his dinner, and was
afraid he should want five doUars more ; these
also I lent, upon the promise of being repaid on
the morrow : to-morrow came, and the result may
easily be imagined : I never had the good for
tune to catch a glimpse of my Yankee merchant's
countenance afterwards.
A route was laid down for me to proceed by
the steam packet up the East river to Albany,
thence to lake Ontario, and the faUs, and after
wards to York, where, according to my instruc
tions, I was to domesticate, and teach red
Indians the alphabet, I had taken such a dis-
Uke however to the country, that I determined
to cut the idea of a squaw and a settlement in
Canada, and to proceed to France in the hope
of obtaining somethmg more suitable to my
wishes. With regard to the manners and character of
the inhabitants of the United States, my " morn
ing call," which only consisted of nine days, was
too limited to allow of many observations. I
saw however enough to understand that all

145
worship the bugbear liberty, and consider them
selves a particularly happy nation, in consequence
of their unbounded freedom ; an article by the
bye, which is much oftener heard of than seen.
Such extravagant notions do they entertain con
cerning this phantom, that the very names of
" master" and " servant" are scouted : a waiter
at an inn, a barber's apprentice, or a chamber
maid, are " assistants," those who pay their
wages, keep them, and command them, are
'' employers." I once asked an American the
difference between the liberty of an EngUsh
man and that of a native of the United States ;
his reply was, " oh you're under a king, and
we're free, that's all I guess."
Tantaene animis stultitice ?
The females are great politicians, and when
congress, rum, sugar, or tobacco, form the topic
of conversation, they shine forth with superior
lustre ; to floor a man with a bale of cotton, to
pose him with a bag of coffee, or to pester him
by ringing the changes on custom house duties.
General Jackson, and Saratoga, seems to cpn-
stitute their maximum of pleasure.
The following fact may perhaps be considered
a " regular Jonathan," but hevag perfectly true,
and one that came under my own observation, N

146
I have no hesitation in stating it, although the
very idea has always been considered as vision
ary and ridiculous whenever I have mentioned
it. I was sauntering down one of the streets
leading from the Broadway to the North River
in the vicinity of the custom house, the name of
which has escaped my memory, and was greatly
astonished to observe three houses of two stories
each, and built of stone, receding gradually to
form a line with eight others, which had been
previously removed seven yards backwards in a
similar manner. I had before seen a wooden
house of moderate size raised from its original
situation, by means of the screw, and carried
altogether to the distance of half a mile, but
was not aware that this mechanical power could
be so applied as to remove solid buUdings of
this description. Each wall is separately un
dermined at first, and large beams introduced
beneath, when the whole is raised at once,
and afterwards moved upon the frame thus
formed, by means of rollers, as circumstances
may require.
Having secured my passage on board a brig
belonging to Duxberry, bound for Majorca and
Marseille, and provided a suitable stock of
water melons and other fruit, I set sail for
Europe, and quickly left the shores of the New

147
World, In a fortnight we came in sight of
Corvo, Flores, St. George and Gracioso, amongst
the Western Isles, and shortly afterwards pass
ed Cadiz mentioned by Horace,
Septimi, Gades aditure mecum,
and entered the Straits of Gibraltar, from
whence, in three days, after sailing along the
coast of Spain, and seeing Malaga, Cape Palos,
Carthagena, and Alicant, in the distance, and
the Islands of Fromontera and Ivica, we at last
beheld the blue mountains of Majorca.
As we ran into the harbour of Palma, the
view which presented itself was extremely plea
sing. The town is situated at the bottom of a
bay formed by Cape Blanco, and Cala Figuera ;
the harbour is not large, but said to be secure,
and is defended by two forts. Here we were
favoured by a visit from the Morberos, or offi
cers whose business is to inspect vessels and
superintend the lazarettes, who after inquiring
from whence we came, returned to the town,
and sent word in the afternoon that it would be
necessary to ride quarantine for five days, before
we should be permitted to land. In former
times the islands of Majorca, Minorca, and
Ivica, were caUed Baleares or Gymnesiae ; the
N 2

148
sling, for the use of which the inhabitants were
formerly so celebrated, as noticed by Virgil,
" Stupea torquentem Balearis verbera ftmdse,"
has been superseded by the rifle, in the ma
nagement of which some of them are very dex
terous. The climate is temperate, and the sea
breezes moderate the beat of the sun in sum
mer, whilst the mountains afford shelter from
the piercing winds of winter.
On the evening of the day we landed, having
partaken of some refreshments in the town, we
proceeded to a smaU village at a short distance
where a sort of rustic fete was held, and the
young people amused themselves by dancing.
The women were not particularly handsome,
but pleasing and full of sprightUness : they wear
short petticoats, and the belles are fond of ex
hibiting the end of an embroidered garter,
which descends below the calf, and gives a
piquant appearance to the plump leg, support
ed, generally speaking, by a fine and weU
turned ancle. The men are of the middle size,
well formed, with dark complexions, and black
hair, A young man played on the guitar as he
sat under the shade of a cork tree, and the wo
men sometimes accompanied him with the cas
tanets, as they joined in the fandango or bolero.

149
Afterwards we re-entered the town,and supped
at a small inn, where we passed the night. Our
repast consisted of a dish caWed puchero, and
bread, butter, onions, garlic, and wine, from
Malaga; this puchero is composed of a fowl
and some fat bacon, seasoned with spices, and
the other ingredients of a Spanish mess, boiled
up together, and upon the whole is tolerably
palatable. Afterwards a dessert of olives, figs,
grapes, and cheese, was placed on the table,
together with some brandy, and a small quan
tity of red wine of the country, which with the
aid of a few cigars, contributed much to fortify
us against the miseries of our chamber. A
spacious granary half filled with wet Indian
corn, and containing four dirty beds, was allot
ted to us for the night ; the window exhibited
a lamentable deficiency of glass, the greater
part being stuffed with rags to keep out the
pinching night air. The following day was
spent in visiting the curiosities of the place.
Palma stands on the side of a hill which slopes
down to the water's edge, and is surrounded on
the land side by walls flanked by bastions. That
part of the town next the bay is regular and
spacious, but as you ascend, the streets become
narrower and are not so well paved. The
Cdsa de la contratacion is a fine building in the
n3

150
Gothic style of the fourteenth century, and is
used by the merchants as a place of rendezvous.
Balls, masquerades, and all kinds of entertain
ments of a similar description, are given here.
The Hotel de Ville is remarkable on account of
a curious clock with which it is ornamented. —
This clock is said to be regulated both in mark
ing and striking the hours, by the course of the
siin, and the solstices, and is perhaps the only
one of this kind in the world. The cathedral
is a large and handsome building, and possesses
a window of stained glass of immense value; the
aisles, which are three in number, are exceed
ingly lofty and vaulted, the paintings, however,
are neither numerous nor very remarkable. —
The parish church of St, Michel was formerly
a Moorish mosque, and has several ancient
Moorish monuments. The houses are princi
pally on the Moorish plan, as being most suit
able to the climate : the roofs are flat, and
covered with cement. Beautiful Jiuertas sur
round the town, and produce oU, wine, oranges,
lemons, and a variety of fruit. The oranges
rival even those of Portugal and Malta, and the
flavour of the grapes, some of which are ex
ceedingly large, is racy and delicious.
During the time our vessel staid in the port,
the immediate vicinity of Palma held forth such

151
attractions, that it was impossible to resist the
opportunity of going on shore frequently, to
enjoy the beautiful prospect of the country, or
for a quiet ramble amongst the olive or lemon
groves. The proprietors of these places were
invariably civil and polite, and the peasants
would often present to us a bunch of grapes, or
some other fruit, and on no account would re
ceive any remuneration for their kindness and
hospitality : now and then indeed, -the men
would accept a cigar, but would positively re
fuse every other recompence. Once only did I
venture to dine in Palma, when africandeau of
mutton, seasoned with red pepper, saffron, and
garUc, was the principal dish, but not being
weU accustomed to the delicacies of a Spanish
kitchen, I was obliged to order an omelette, and
superintend the cooking of it: with this, and
a bottle of wine, which each person was allowed
at dinner, and an ice or two, the whole crowned
with a smaU glass of brandy, and a good Span
ish cigar, I contrived to make a tolerable meal.
Upon quitting Majorca and losing sight of
land, a dead calm of four and twenty hours
succeeded, during which, as we gazed on the
monotonous scene before us, the utter want of
variety brought a most wearying vacuity upon the
mind. To our relief, however, a breeze sprung

152
up at last, and weariness fled away. When
off Barcelona the wind increased to a dreadful
gale, and shook our deeply-laden vessel in a
terrible manner: of three French ships which
were in company with us, two foundered: we
were near enough to observe the poor feUows
working at the pumps during the day, and in
the evening they went down at the distance of
half a mile. The next morning rose unclouded
and serene, affording a striking contrast to the
day before. As I gazed around on the tranquil
bosom of the waters, the scene brought to my
mind those beautiful Unes of Camoens,
Depois de proceUosa tempestade,
Nocturna sombra e sibilante vento,
Traz a manhan serena claridade,
Esperan9as de porto e salvamento.
In five days after leaving Majorca we crossed
the gulph of Lyon and entered the port of
Marseille. This harbour is the most secure
seaport in Europe, being completely sheltered
by the land on all sides except the entrance,
which is so excessively narrow as not to admit
two vessels of moderate size at the same time.
During our term of quarantine, we had a Greek
polacre astern, from Cyprus: three individuals
having died on board during her passage, she

153
had remained there four months, and had still
a fortnight longer to stay: the captain of this
vessel met with an unfortunate end a few days
before we arrived. He contrived one evening,
as he thought unperceived, to go on shore to
see a relation, and returned on board before
day-break. In the morning, however, he was
ordered alongside the health office, when all
hands except himself being summoned forward,
a file of soldiers presented their pieces and shot
him dead!
The day we were liberated was the " Fete du
Roi," and in the evening the town was generally
iUuminated, Marseille was founded by the Pho-
caeans, the "Phocaeorum execrata civitas" of
Horace ; was subdued by Caesar, taken by
Charles d'Anjou in 1262, and devastated by the
plague in 1720 and 1721. In the Hotel de
Ville are two large pictures, representing the
dreadful scenes which occurred during this ca
lamitous period. It is difficult to look upon
these paintings without being interested sadly in
the woes and sufferings they present. Priests
are confessing and exhorting the dying, carts
are carrying off the dead, children sucking at
the breasts of their dead mothers, slaves plun
dering, and such a variety of afflicting scenes,
and such an accumulation of distress is so forci-

154
bly exhibited, that the very groans and lament
ations of the sick seem to strike upon the ear.
The form of the city is almost square, and
the port extends nearly to the centre of the
town. The old town of MarseUle rises to the
north, like an amphitheatre, but is irregularly
bmlt, and not to be compared with the new
town, which for beauty and elegance is scarcely
surpassed in France. The principal street, or
the grand course, extends across the city in a
direct line, and is terminated at either end by a
handsome gate, the Porte d'Aix on the north,
and the Porte de Rome at the other extremity.
It extends a mile in length, and is planted on
either side with noble trees, whUst the centre,
which extends into a beautiful esplanade, is or
namented with a superb fountain. From the
grand course, the Rue de la Canebiere leads to
the harbour, where crowds of people of different
nations, in their peculiar costumes, and speak
ing a variety of languages, afford to the stranger
a busy and interesting spectacle. The lower
class of females wear felt hats with unusuaUy
broad brims, and their dresses, which are made
of coarse woollen cloth, short waisted and plait
ed very fully on the hips, give them a most un
becoming appearance.
MarseUle is celebrated as being the birth-

155
place of Puget, Mascaron, Dumarsais, and
Plumier, The surrounding country is not
fertile, but extremely well cultivated, and this
perhaps wiU account in some measure for the
dearness of provisions. Soap, brandy, spirits,
wax candles, sugar, and tobacco, are amongst
the numerous manufactures of the place, and
the population is said to exceed one hundred
and ten thousand.
The evening before my departure I went to
the theatre, in company with an English cap
tain, and was much pleased with the perform
ance. The dancing was very good, but the
green room beauties (if green room that could
be called which had three whitewashed walls,
and a large mirror at one end, in which the
figurantes and coryphees admired the graceful
motions of their limbs as they whirled around,)
were far from handsome upon a close inspection,
and utterly destitute of every sense of modesty.
One of them, when I asked her how she em
ployed herself during the season in which the
theatre was closed, replied with an arch look,
" ah Monsieur, dans ce tems-la, j'ai un autye
talent;" so true it is that the nearer we approach
the sun, the more familiar we become with vices
of every description.

CHAPTER XIV.

" Her uplands, sloping, deck the mountain's side.
Woods over woods in gay theatric pride;
While oft some temple's mould'ring top between.
With venerable grandeur marks the scene.'' Goldsmith.

Having met with an Italian on his way from
Florence to Lyon, we agreed to proceed toge
ther, and accordingly procured a return voiture
ofthe epicene gender, and having directed the
principal part of my luggage to be forwarded
by the wagon, we quitted the bustling town of
MarseiUe, and entered upon the route to Aix,
My fellow traveUer informed me he was making
his escape from Florence, having been concerned
in a duel, which had proved fatal to one of the
parties. This statement was so far perfectly
correct, but he carefuUy concealed the whole
truth from me, which I happened afterwards to
learn from an Englishman in Paris, who was in
Florence at the time the affair took place, A
quarrel having arisen one evenmg at a Casino in
the latter city, between two Italians, a meeting in

157
the morning was the consequence. When both
parties arrived on the ground and had stripped,
the seconds, of whom my companion was one,
together with one of the principals, rushed upon
the other unfortunate combatant, and having
pierced him with their swords until they con
cluded he was dead, threw his body into the
Arno. This was the result of a preconcerted
plan : the instigator of the murder was the
cowardly antagonist of the individual who thus
met his death, and who had bribed these
wretches to assist him, in order to glut his re
venge without incurring any personal risk. —
Such was the specimen of humanity with whom
I travelled; still he appeared a jovial fellow,
and was a famous cook ;
— " Nulli major fuit usus edendi
Tempestate mea. Circeis nata forent, an
Lucrinum ad saxum, Rutupinove edita fundo
Ostrea, caUebat primo dignoscere morsu.''
On leaving MarseiUe, the country has in ge
neral a barren appearance; high hiUs and
broken rocks present themselves on all sides : a
little distance however, leads to a much more
interesting part, where vegetation seems to
thrive more abundantly. In a few hours we
arrived at the town of Aix, about eighteen miles

158
from Marseille, and my companion immediately
busied himself about supper, ordering and pre
paring, telling me, however — for he knew the
road weU — that at Montelimart we should have
a repast worthy of a king, but at the intermedi
ate towns our fare would be indifferent. In
due time our host made his appearance in a
clean white apron, jacket, and night-cap, bring
ing in a puUet garnished with water cresses,
which was followed by nine other dishes, and
afterwards a dessert, a cup of coffee, and apetk
verre, for which we paid forty sous, or twenty
pence. My " artiste," as I may caU him, for he
told me that he had managed every thing in the
kitchen, much to the annoyance of the landlord,
having tied a serviette to his button hole, cor
roborated the opinion I had already conceived
with regard to our meal, and ate his way through
the three courses with a nicety and discrimina
tion that might have done honour to the ingeni
ous and celebrated Dr, Gustaldy himself.
At an early hour the foUowing morning we
took a survey of the town, and determined to
spend the day there, and afterwards to proceed
to Avignon. Aix was foimerly the capital of
Proven9e : it is situated a short distance from
the river Arc, in a plain bounded by hiUs, on
which is cultivated the vine and the olive tree.

159
The principal street is the Course, which affords
a beautiful promenade, consisting of three alleys
formed by stately trees; it has several foun
tains in the centre, at which man and beast are
constantly drinking : the water is clear, and
possesses neither taste nor smell. Aix is con
sidered one of the most ancient towns in France,
and was founded by Caius Sextius Calvinus,
about 120 years before the Christian era, and
called Aquae Sextiae from its mineral waters. —
The waters in the suburbs of the Cordeliers
were discovered for the second time, about the
commencement of the last century, and the
ancient coins, medals, and inscriptions dug up
at that period, tend to confirm the surmises of an
tiquarians, as being those springs whose virtues
the Romans were the first to appreciate. This
town has eight gates or entrances, and possesses
a large cathedral, which, like most ancient
buUdings of the same description, perhaps ap
pears more beautiful from its antiquity than any
regularity of design. The streets are narrow
and dirty, but in the quarter of Orbitelle, which
is by far the finest in the town, all is clean and
elegant. Aix was much improved by the muni
ficence of Louis Quatorze, who beautified and
enlarged it considerably. Before the Revolu
tion there were several religious establishments
o2

160
of Carmelites, Dominicans, and Benedictines,
but since that period they have been broken up.
The church of Notre Dame de I'esperance is
much frequented by people from the surround
ing country, but possesses Uttle or nothing to
recommend it to notice. The oil of Aix is con
sidered the best in France, and the vermicelU
manufactured here is Ukewise much esteemed.
The same evening we procured our passports
from the Intendant of PoUce, for whose inspec
tion we had delivered them upon entering the
town, intending to resume our journey de bon
matin, as the French say, and so arrive at
Avignon in time to partake of an early dinner,
and afterwards examine the curiosities of the
place. Having breakfasted on a biscuit and a glass
of brandy, we left Aix about four o'clock, with
a meagre looking postilion, whose corporeal parts
seemed entirely composed of jack boots and
plaited pigtail, with a greasy nightcap and glazed
hat over it, which was knowingly placed on one
side of the excrescence which grew from be
tween his shoulders. Notwithstanding appear
ances however, we rattled over the pave, with a
few sacres, whUst the whip, by its incessant
cracking in the air, gave intimation to the in
habitants, whether asleep or awake, of our de-

161
parture. About ten we breakfasted & lafour-
chette, at a small vUlage through which we
passed, and early in the afternoon arrived at
Avignon, At the mule blanche in this town, I was nearly
poisoned by eating part of a duck pie absolutely
crammed with garlic and saffron ; a little brandy
however, rallied my disorganized organs, and
I found myself tolerably recovered without the
aid of the stomach pump, and eagerly saUied
forth to see the town, the appearance of which,
upon our entrance, had struck me as being
particularly beautiful. Nothing can be more
pleasing than the roads all round this pretty
little city, which are shaded on either side with
wide spreading trees: the whole place is in
closed with ancient fortification walls in perfect
repair, affording the most beautiful coup d' ceil
of the kind I ever beheld. The chief curiosity
however in Avignon, is the tomb of the cele
brated Laura, whose name has been immortal
ized by the muse of Petrarch, This tomb is
contained in a small chapel belonging to the
church of St, Didier, and bears an inscription,
or rather part of one, from which it would ap
pear that she did not die in a single state, but
was married to Hugues de Sade, and had seve
ral children. So much for the delicacy of
Petrarch! o3

162
Our first stage after leaving Avignon, was to
a small post house on the road side, from whence
we proceeded to Orange. This town is situated
at the foot of a hiU, on the river Meyne, a short
distance from the Rhone, and is surrounded by
an ancient wall. The remains of antiquity in
the town and its vicinity alone recommend it to
the attention of the traveller. In the interior
are the ruins of a vast amphitheatre, which con
sist of enormous blocks of stone put together
without cement: fragments of antiquity are like
wise frequently found in the houses of private
individuals. The principal object however,
worthy of notice, is a sort of triumphal arch,
situated near the road to Lyon, a few hundred
yards from the town. It was in the midst of a
corn field, and appeared so great in ruins, that
even to Rome itself it might have been con
sidered an ornament. It seemed about seventy
feet high, and had been at a former period, de
corated with sculpture. So beautiful were its
proportions, that Napoleon considered it a fit
model for the one which he erected near the
barrier de NeuUly, in Paris. These monuments
of Roman grandeur and magnificence, together
with the vast extent of fortifications, vestiges of
which still remain, afford proof that at one time.
Orange must have held no inconsiderable rank
amongst the colonies of Rome,

163
At a little auberge a few miles from Orange,
we stopped for an hour or two to enjoy the
sweet situation and the sweets of rumination,
over a pipe and a cup of coffee : our hostess had
an only daughter, who was married that morn
ing, and the old lady looked rather melancholy
upon the occasion, and I fancied I discovered in
her face the expression — ' may she be happy,
but ah, she would have been far happier with
her old mother;' I thought so too, but cared not
to mention my suspicions, and having drank a
cup of wine to the bride's health, we proceeded
on our road towards Montelimart. After tra
velling through a most delightful country, whose
vast and extensive vales, adorned on all sides
vrith romantic mountains, could not be other
wise in such a climate ; we arrived at the place
of our destination for that night, at a late hour
in the evening, my companion consoling me
during our ride with the cheering prospect of a
good supper, which he assured me should be
got up under his own eye. Upon entering the
town, he gave directions to the postilion to drive
to ' his hotel,' where as ]\Iaitre Cuisinier, he
was to preside : I began to conceive but a soAy
opinion concerning his judgment, for the house,
kitchen, and every thing around, appeared
very much against it, yet malgre tout cela, I

164
never sat down to a better meal: what was
provided I cannot teU, and to my great surprise
we had only three francs each to pay, whereas
such a meal in England, I am convinced, could
not have been obtained under a guinea a head.
Montelimart is a small town, situated at the
junction of the Jabron and Roubion, and is
built in the form of a crescent, but as it pos
sesses nothing remarkable, we spent but a short
time there.
We arranged to set out for Valence on the
following morning, and traveUed leisurely along
in order to enjoy the picturesque scenery through
which we were to pass. The whole face of the
country appeared so interesting, that I often
longed for the pencU of a Claude, to pourtray
the animated beauties of nature which in every
variety burst on my view. Far different when
approaching Valence, was the contrast between
the town and the country we had left behind ;
it seemed ill built and irregular, surrounded by
walls, which unlike those of Avignon, afforded
a gloomy appearance to the whole, and caused
it to resemble a huge monastery, rather than
any-thing else. There is a Gothic fa9ade of an
ancient castle, which is considered the finest
specimen of that style in France, but neither the
cathedral nor the episcopal palace are in any

165
degree remarkable. In front of the place
d!armes, which is ornamented with trees, is the
citadel, in which Pope Pius VI. died in 1799,
after being driven from Rome by the French.
Upon the road from Valence to Vienne, which
was nearly the longest journey we had performed
in one day since leaving Marseille, we passed
through the country where the grape is produced
from which the celebrated wine known by the
name of cote rStie is manufactured. Vienne is
beautifully situated on the declivity of a well
cultivated hiU, and contains many objects very
interesting to the antiquarian. It is a very an
cient .town, and was formerly a Roman colony,
as the numerous monuments still existing suf- ,
ficiently attest. Amongst the relics of antiquity
here, are the remains of a Roman temple, toge
ther with those of an Amphitheatre, and several
aqueducts ; there is likewise part of a Roman
arch still remaining, and on the opposite bank
of the Rhone, are the piles of an ancient Roman
bridge. Vienne is mentioned by Caesar in his
commentaries, as being a place of consequence
in his time. Inscriptions, medals of bronze, and
statues are dug up from time to time in the en
virons, but a far greater price is demanded for
them, than either their intrinsic value, or anti
quity, entitle them to.

166
Nothing can be more beautiful than the coun
try between Vienne and Lyon, and though the
distance is but eighteen miles, yet we spent a
whole day in getting thither. Withm a league
or two of this great city, we found every hill and
dale so covered with chateaux, and farms, that
the whole had the appearance of towns, vUlages,
and hamlets ; the prospect was so extensive and
picturesque, that impatient as I was to enter the
town, I could not refrain from stopping for some
time, at a shabby little cabaret, to drink coffee
under the shade of its mulberry trees, and en
joy the refreshing breeze, and the magnificent
prospect which every way surrounded us. At
ten in the evening we arrived at Lyon, and put
up at the Hotel de Milan, where I remained se
veral days.
The city of Lyon is situated on a neck of land
between the Rhone and the Saone, at the base
ofa steep hill. Its ancient name was Lugdunum ;
it was founded about forty years before Christ,
by Munatius Plancus, the friend of Cicero and
Horace, to whom the latter has addressed an ode
in his first book, Lyon was intended at first as
an asylum for the inhabitants of Vienne, whom
the AUobroges had expelled from their territo
ries. Of the public buUdings, the most remark
able is the Hotel de Ville, M'hich is considered

167
the finest town haU in Europe next to those of
Paris and Amsterdam : in the vestibule are
two colossal figures of bronze, representing Ve
nus and Neptune, both remarkably well exe
cuted. In the year 145, this city was destroyed
by fire, but rebuilt by a grant from the Emperor
Nero. So dreadful was the conflagration, that
Seneca says in one of his letters, " Una nox fuit
inter urbem maximam, et nullum," The cathe
dral is a noble pile, said to be the oldest in
France, and in the Saracenic style of architec
ture. The quays form a grand ornament to the
lapid river Rhone, by which the town is supplied
with all the necessaries of Ufe, and which also
conveys the various manufactures of the city
down to the ports of the Mediterranean, ex
peditiously, and at a trifling expense. The
Saone which runs through another quarter of
the town, is covered with large barges and
boats, laden with an infinite variety of goods,
from aU parts of the kingdom, and thus every
advantage is afforded, which men in trade can
desire. The strongest proof of the importance
which the Romans attached to this city is,»the
enormous expense, which they must necessarily
have incurred in erecting such a number of
aqueducts and reservoirs; one of the former
was eighteen leagues in length, and many parts

168
of it are stiU visible : the remains of a theatre,
and numerous mosaics, and tesselated pave
ments, are likewise to be seen in the neighbour
hood. On the Sunday evening I visited the Thea
tre des Celestins, but the house was so crowded,
to witness the debut of a young lady, that I
shortly adjourned to a neighbouring cafe, and
calling for a demi tasse, had leisure to ob
serve the handsome decorations of the apart
ment which I had entered. Without excep
tion this was the most beautiful coffee-house I
had ever seen ; it was ornamented with large
plates of mirror, whUst above were various
flags expressive of the military glory of Bona
parte : for instance, on one was written in ^d-
ed letters, " Gloire," with " Jena" above it, on
another, " Honneur," with " Austerlitz" above
that, on a third " Patrie," with " Wagram,"
also above it ; besides these, there were others
which completely surrounded the upper part of
the walls. On the ceiling were represented two
figures in separate chariots, emblematic of Peace
and War, and surrounded by the heads of all
the defunct generals who had served under Na
poleon, beautifully executed, with the words,
" Aux manes des vainqueurs," Whilst sip
ping my coffee, two elegantly dressed girls, the

169
one about eighteen, and the other perhaps
seventeen years of age, entered the room, and
each commenced playing on the violin, sing
ing at intervals an old Proven§al ballad, or trou
badour song in a superior style : possibly the
notes sounded clearer and finer than they other
wise would have done, had they been drawn
forth by one of the opposite sex, still however
I was delighted ; it was an uncommon spec
tacle, and the beauty of the girls, increased by
exertion, and their black braided hair, set off
by a most becoming head dress, so haunted me
for some days afterwards, that I was fearful
lest I should be induced to prolong my stay,
but not having a second opportunity of be
holding these fascinating sirens, I bade adieu
to my slaughter-loving companion, and Jeft the
city of crapes and velvets, with no other feel
ing of regret, than that which I experienced
at parting with my belles Lyonnaises.

CHAPTER XV.

" Egressum magnS, me excepit Aricia Rom^
Hospitio modico" — — " cum deerit egenti
As, laquei pretium" — Hor.

After three days and nights incessant travel
ling in the DiUgence, and being many a time
and oft tortured with the cramp, I arrived at
Paris, with a fortune of £95. I had formed a
sort of intimacy during my journey with a Ger
man, and as he was a man of pretty general in
formation, his conversation was instructive and
entertaining, though he managed to rob me of
three hundred francs which I lent him on a cer
tain occasion afterwards, when he was cleaned
out at a gaming table. We had two remarkably
handsome female passengers in the " interieur"
with us, but as one was enceinte, and the other
engagee, as the maid informed us during their
absence, of course we were precluded from the
opportunity of paying our cour in due form, and
were obliged to content ourselves with the mere
outward professions of gaUantry.
Before many days elapsed, my evil genius di-

171
rected me to the gaming table, and I lost a few
hundred francs durmg my first visit ; the next
day saw me endeavouring to retrieve my losses,
but the same Ul luck followed me, and I was re
duced to beggary. I saw my last five franc piece
swept up with with a most mechanical noncha
lance, whilst the working of some disobedient
muscle, and the Sardonic grin on my counten
ance, of which I felt conscious at the time, be
trayed my inward feelings, and I left the room
casting a maUgnant leer of envy, even at the hea
viest losers. In this desperate state, having
sold a few trinkets, with the proceeds I deter
mined forthwith to sacrifice to the demon of
Rouge et Noir, who favoured me with his
smUes on this occasion, and I returned to my
lodgings a winner of 29000 francs, or £1160.
Such however is the infatuation of gaming, that
1 had not the power to resist its influence, but
invoking once more the favours of fortune, in a
short time was again reduced to the state of a
" gentleman who lives by his wits." In this
enviable condition, I accompanied a party of
EngUsh ladies to view the nouvelle exposition
at the Louvre, as though I had no living to seek,
but was merely a John Bull, solely bent on amuse
ment : I returned in the afternoon sick at heart,
and dinnerless, pondering in my mind how to
p2

172
act. At one time I had some idea of " popping
the question" to a lady who formed one of the
party to the Louvre, and indeed she held out
some attractions ; her person was agreeable, and
she had a little money, but then again, she had
an uncle named " Huggins," and this patronymic,
as every one wiU acknowledge, would have prov
ed such a desperate extinguisher of aU euphony,
that I waived the project altogether. StiU how
ever one consolation remained ; in Paris I was
free from debt, and this idea, knowing that in
France the creditor can imprison ad Ubitum,
until his demands are satisfied in full, greatly
contributed to cheer up my spirits.
Being continually bored with ennui, whUst
leading such an inactive life, I resolved to pro
ceed on foot to Gibraltar, and from thence to
work my passage to some port in Italy, and to
pass through that country on my road home
wards, well aware that if it would not better my
situation in life, it could not render it more dis
agreeable. In a few days my passport was regu
larly drawn out for Bayonne, and on a raw cold
morning in the beginning of December, I left
Paris without casting " one lingering look be
hind," and breakfasted at a smaU Cafe near the
Barriere d'Enfer, which by the bye, was an
ominously sounding name, if a conjecture might

173
have been hazarded as to whither it would lead :
having paid thirty sous out of my slender stock,
for a piece of cold turkey, which had been boiled,
roasted, and be-deviU'd, and half a bottle of bad
wine, at night I arrived at the village of Androit.
Passing through Linas the next morning, I was
taken suddenly ill, and really imagined that my
last hour had arrived; however a short repose on
a bundle of straw in the stable rallied my fleeting
senses, and I set forth for Estampes, where I
passed the night at a miserable auberge, on
the walls of which these words were faintly visible
in the twiUght, " Ici on loge a pied, on donne a
boire et a manger." During the course of the
evening, I was amused by a specimen of French
low life ; around a table placed in a recess, were
four natives playing at cards for a bottle of small
Burgundy, each talking fast enough "pour qua
tre," and accompanying every card that was laid
down, with most extravagant gesticulation : in a
corner mine host and hostess were packing up
carrots and onions lor the morrow's market, and
on the stairs some quinzaine of children were
squabblingforamorselofbread, whUst I " deeply
observant, glanced on all," and smoked my soK-
tary pipe by the dying embers of the fire ; if in
deed, it was worthy of this denomination, as in
France two sticks are merely laid across the iron
p3

174
dogs, which afford a miserable contrast with the
blazing fireside of an Englishman.
After passing through AngerviUe, Toury, and
Artennay, the want of funds compeUed me to
pass the night under a haystack with my dog,
during a most bitter shower of hail and sleet,
which continued with sUght intermission untU
day-break, when I arose completely drenched,
and pursued my solitary journey. I arrived at
Orleans without having tasted food that morning,
and made a remarkably short stay in the place,
being credibly informed, that if the Mayor heard
of me being there without any ostensible motive,
he would find board and lodging for me at the
expence of the town. My stock was now re
duced to two liards, or one farthing, and with this
sum I had to pursue a journey of one hundred
and twenty leagues before I should reach Bord
eaux, Having exchanged a mouchoir for a
crust of bread, in the evening I supped at Meun
upon the proceeds of a shirt which I put up to
auction and 'knocked down to the wife of the
village blacksmith. Two pairs of stockings my
conscientious landlady bought for ten sous, and
she would willingly have become a larger pur
chaser at the same rate, but I decUned to bar
ter with her, further than necessity absolutely
demanded. Leaving Beaugenci and Blois,

175
where the gens diarmes annoyed me much for
my papier, I took up my lodgings for the
night in a barn near a farm house, where I was
much revived by swallowing a large mess of
sour potage. Blois is pleasantly situated on
the river Loire, with a fine church in the centre
of the town ; it has also a magnificent esplanade
shaded by large Ume trees on the banks of the
river, and an elegant bridge. The following
morning I felt myself hungry, thirsty, and fa
tigued, but hunger with me had an effect quite
the reverse from that which it is said to pro
duce on the monarch of the forest ; it made me
more bold, and in order to relieve myself from
three inconveniences at once, I entered an au
berge, and bartered a pair of stockings for a
glass of eau de vie, a bottle of wine, and a plate
of soup : I now resembled the sailor in the story,
I took the brandy, whilst they were getting the
wine, and drank the latter, while they were
preparing the soup, and when I had satisfied
nature, and sufficiently rested my wearied limbs,
I took my departure towards Amboise, and
Tours. Nearly opposite Amboise, on the
other side of the Loire, stands an ancient castle,
stUl frowning in decaying grandeur : it was
formerly used for the double purpose of a place
of defence and a prison, and is called " I'ou-

176
bliette" to this day, by the surrounding pea
santry : this name was formerly every way be
fitting it, as those who were once condemned to
suffer death within its walls, were never more
heard of. I crossed the bridge in order to ex
amine it more closely, and by the assistance of
my landlord ab Amboise, I gained admission.
In exploring the different apartments, we at
length reached one which appeared to have
been a small chapel, or place of retirement
suitable to the religious tenets of the days in
which the chateau was constructed. Here I
felt, and not for the first time, in this land of
playful fancy, that my reason was to be submis
sive in some degree to my credulity. Suspend
ed from the roof were two immense antlers
nearly twelve feet long and proportionably thick,
which our chaperon de la maison told us with
characteristic importance, were taken from the
head of a stag killed by Julius Caesar in the
forest of Orleans. To convince me still more,
he exhibited part of the vertebrae of the
same animal, full fifteen inches in diame
ter. His history however of these extraordi
nary remains of nature was not so concise or
accurate as to lull my reasoning faculties into a
dormant acquiescence with his details. Upon
further inquiry, he stated that the stag had

177
been taken alive by JuUus Csesar, and tenderly
treated by him for some time, when having put
a highly ornamented collar around his neck, he
dismissed his favourite, who wandered for ages
the stately monarch of his gregarious subjects
in the extensive forest of Orleans. Credat
Judceus ! In after times, a certain hunter,
probably the lord of this castle, was pursuing
his favourite sport, and destroyed the an tiered
chief, which had escaped death at the hands of
the Roman, Being however neither antiqua
rian nor naturaUst, I must hesitate ere I could
arrive at any opinion respecting the remains.
Zoologists and geologists when viewing these
objects of research, might not coincide ; are
these antlers and vertebral joints part of any
animal known in the world as rising out of chaos
according to the Mosaic cosmogony? May
they not have been discovered embowelled in
the earth, and have existed as part of the re
mains of an anterior world ? In this chateau
however they are exhibited, and I should think
the present possessor, the Roi Louis Philippe
would not sanction the greatest curiosity of this
extraordinary castle, to moulder into oblivious
dust. Afterwards I visited the beautiful man
sion belonging to the same illustrious person
age, situated about two mUes further down the

178
river. It had received several masters during
the revolution and republic, but at length, un
der the reign of Napoleon, it came into the pos
session of Monsieur Chaptal, a distinguished in
dividual, whose taste appears to have been
no less magnificent than his fortune. All that
art could effect to ensure both comfort and
luxury in this delightful retreat is amply ex
hibited, whUe the beauty of the grounds con
tribute to render the whole scene an object of
extreme admiration.
On my return to Amboise, my landlord pro
ceeded to give me an account of some of the
apartments in the castle which we had not visit
ed, and his description was singularly curious.
Unfortunate victims, who were doomed to suf
fer death, either for real or imaginary crimes,
were formerly precipitated naked from one of
the turrets into a narrow space between four
stone walls, extending many feet below the bed
of the river, which ran suUenly at the foot of
the rock whereon the castle stood ; into these
walls were affixed wooden rollers at certain dis
tances, " garnished" with the blades of knives
pointing in all directions, which minced the
body thus thrown down, long ere it reached the
bottom, where it was suffered to remain, and
no further notice was taken of it. There was

179
likewise a trap formerly, of so horrible a contri
vance, that when a prisoner was once enclosed,
the mechanical powers were so constructed, as
to resist all efforts to re-open it : when a crimi
nal was to suffer this terrible death, he was
conducted into the apartment, and there instan
taneously overwhelmed, and his body ground
to atoms.
The road from Blois to Tours is exceedingly
pleasant,' and winds along according to the
sinuosities of the river: within two leagues of
Tours, are houses cut out of the solid rock,
and the smoke issuing from the chimnies gives
an appearance to the whole of a vast smoking
mountain. Tours itself is approached from
Blois, by a magnificent bridge consisting of
fourteen arches; it possesses a very fine church,
and is remarkable for its extreme cleanliness.
Numbers of English families have established
themselves here, on account of the temperature
of the air, and salubrity of the climate. Hav
ing passed through Tours, and proceeded a
few mUes on the other side of Montbazon, a
heavy storm compeUed me to seek shelter ip a
farm house, at a little distance from the road,
where a bed was kindly proffered me in an out
house, and plenty of clean straw : being pleased
at the cordiality of the offer, the mode of mak-

180
ing which convinced me of its sincerity, I ac
cepted it without hesitation. During the
evening repast of the farmer and his family, of
which I was invited to partake, a female entered
the house, drenched with rain, and begged a
night's lodging, which was granted to her as
cordially as it was to me : when the unknown
approached the fire to dry her dripping gar
ments, and arrange her belle chevelure, she
discovered to our view the features of a young
woman about three and twenty years of age,
well formed and exceedingly handsome : I mis
took her at first sight for a gipsy, but was
soon convinced of my error by her patois : the
fermier brought forth some vin du pays, and a
bottle of eau de vie, and his daughters and our
fair inconnue made the time pass quickly and
pleasantly with several songs adapted to lively
airs, and the latter before retiring to rest gave
us a long history of her travels and troubles.
She stated that she was on her road from Lisle,
which was her native place, to Bordeaux, in
search of a sister, that her father had been
killed in the Peninsular war, and that she had
no surviving relation, except the object of her
present journey. Shortly afterwards I desired
to be shewn to my chambre d, coucher, and
prepared to cross the farm yard, when I was

181
rather surprised by the voice of my guide,
" allons, Madame, il est minuit presque ;" Ma
dame arose, and we arrived at the stable door,
where I wished her " bonne nuit," but to my sur
prise, was told by our conductor, " U faut entrer.
Monsieur" " bien oui,entrez done je vous en prie,"
said Madame, and the doors were closed upon
us. My companion approached the straw, and
then divested herself of her apparel, with as
little ceremony or seeming consciousness, as if
she had been alone, I merely mention this
circumstance to shew, that though an English
female would have considered such an act
highly indelicate, a French woman thought it
nowise improper, and certainly, if on this oc
casion, she had had the slightest touch of false
modesty, I must have given up my share of the
stable and slept a la belle etoile.
Proceeding onwards, my road led me through
Chattellerault and Poitiers ; the entrance to the
latter is rather romantic, but the town itself is
dirty, and disagreeable. At the small village
of CruteUe, two leagues south of Poitiers, being
again much in want of the needful, I 'was
compeUed to part with all my superfluous
stock of mouchoirs, cravats, &c, and arrived at
" les maisons blanches" in the evening, and sup
ped in company with gens d' armes, and chas-
Q

182
seurs. The peasants in the interior of France,
wear clogs, not like those of our countrymen,
but made entirely of wood ; they are caUed
sabots, and are fastened by a piece of leather
over the instep ; the females adopt the strange
practice of riding astride.
From " les maisons blanches" my journey
the following day only extended as far as Rufifec,
a distance of three leagues and a half, where I
took my " hang out" at an auberge. Having
expended my little stock of money, I was obUged
to communicate the state of my finances to my
host, whom I found an excessively kind-hearted
man ; when he understood that I had eaten
all my money, as the French say, he invit
ed me to supper, and gave me breakfast
the next morning. On setting out from
Ruffec, it struck me, though I had never
been on the stage, that I could play well in the
farce, " where shall I dine ?" stiU I felt buoyed
up, and my spirits the whole time seldom flag
ged. At Marne, I exchanged a silk handker
chief and shirt, for a supper, bed, and a few
sous, and arrived the evening after, at le Coq
Noir, in the suburbs of Angouleme, where I
took up my abode for the night.
Angouleme is a remarkably neat town, situ
ated on an eminence, and affording a great con-

183
trast with those I had lately passed through.
Never did school-boy long more for Fortuna
tus' cap to peep at his distant friends, than I
did for the Ogre's seven leagued boots to pro
secute my tiresome journey : to travel on foot
one hundred and fifty leagues in the winter,
was no pleasant undertaking, as the reader will
naturally imagine ; my feet were swollen, and
my strength was nearly exhausted.
The seedy air of poverty no doubt being
thrown around me like a halo, I had a franc
piece presented to me by a lady from the DiU
gence, whilst pursuing my weary route, and as
it came without solicitation, I drank the fair
donor's health in a bumper of claret, of which
I purchased a bottle at a small village on the
road, for six sous ; it was made on the spot,
and although rather new, was pure and of ex-
jquisite flavour : even in Bordeaux, that grand
emporium of wine, it is proverbial as being adul
terated.

q2

CHAPTER XVI.

" But I 
With scanty ofials, and small acid tifi^
(Wretched repast !) my meagre course sustain."
Phillips.

After sleeping at St. Andre de Cubzac, I
was reduced to a nonplus in order to pay the
fare of one sous for crossing the river Dordogne.
Having summoned a little resolution however,
I stood in the midst of the viUage, and recited
" the splendid shilUng," with aU the attitude
and gesticulation I could muster : this effort re
lieved my purse, and having collected seventeen
or eighteen sous from the peasantry, who un
derstood not a single word I uttered, I again
set forward, and passing the Dordogne, and
the bridge over the Garonne, arrived at Bord
eaux, in five weeks and four days after quit
ting Paris, pennyless, shoeless, friendless, and
almost heart broken,
I took up my abode at an auberge, " au petit
repos," on the Quai Louis X^'III. My bed
chamber afforded me some matter for amuse
ment, it was nominally appropriated to travel-

185
lers, but virtually used as a laundry, and the
tout ensemble, when full of wet sheets, chemises,
&c. was vastly imposing. The first night I
slept here, several gentry in the same room, were
disturbed about midnight by police officers de
manding their passports, which not being forth
coming, they were marched off to " la maison de
detention," whither I should likewise have borne
them company, had I not been able to produce
my paper for inspection.
. Bordeaux is a large and opulent town, and
ranks fourth in the kingdom for size ; Paris first,
then Lyon, MarseUle, and Bordeaux ; it has a
very clean appearance, and the houses are en
tirely built of stone. The principal French to
bacco manufactories are in this place. The
Garonne is a beautiful and romantic river, on
which the town is situated, at a distance of
twenty-two leagues from the sea. Bordeaux,
and the whole province of Guienne, is celebrated
for it's good eating, it's numerous ortolans, red
jiartridges, and fine hams. Oxen are much used
near the shipping, to transport merchandise
by means of sleds, from one part to another.
There are three handsome theatres ; the prin
cipal one is a splendid building, which would be
an ornament even to the Capital itself: the
streets are lighted by means of lamps slung
q3

186
across them as in Paris. Here I met with an
American Jew, who was extremely assiduous in
shewing me the different lions about the town,
with the idea, that he could easUy make me sub
servient to his purposes, bonr-fortunately I was
aware of his designs, and cut the connexion im
mediately. His plan was, that I should lend
him ten francs, in order to enable him to pro
cure false keys to a warehouse belonging to his
father, that he might be able to purloin such
property as he thought fit, and he actuaUy
bargained with one of his tribe to dispose of
several articles in consideration of a certain sum
of money, of which I was to have half the pro
ceeds for my share. These civiUties however, I
declined, otherwise, at this moment probably, I
might have been chained to an oar, tugging away
for " dear life."
One Sunday afternoon, whilst sauntering
about, I observed a show -woman dressed out
most magnificently ; whilst extolling the various
beauties of her concern, and the efficacy of the
different cosmetics she produced for sale: she
wore an elegant gold watch suspended fi-om her
neck, by means of a handsome chain, every
finger was bedecked with one or more rings
whUst silk stockings of a delicate pea-green
colour, set off the symmetry of her ancle, and a

187
dress of thick " gros des Indes," of the same
hue, exhibited the delicacy of her tournure; a
black velvet hat, with a most overpowering
ostrich plume, crowned the whole, and added
not a little to raise the consequence of the fair
vender of " les vrais cosmetiques," in the eyes
of the surrounding throng. Such a woman, in
such a dress, at any fair in England, would
have been mobbed. In another part of the
square, nearly opposite the lady above mentioned
was a Spanish charlatan, seated on horseback,
assorting his various drugs and medicines, spe
cifics and boluses : persuasion hung upon his
lips, for the fellow shortly eased himself of the
contents of his havresack, and then moved on
majestically and mysteriously to his hang out,
with his rascal in a scarlet jacket and tiffany
ineffables of the same colour, beating the drum
before him, as in duty bound.
The bridge thrown across the Garonne,
above the town, is a noble structure, consisting
of fifteen arches, but like many of the under
takings of the French, remains unfinished, —
The public baths are buUt in a neat style, sur
rounded by trees, and are situated contiguous
to the river. Next to the maritime commerce of
Marseille, the trade of this city is more extended
than that of any other town in France, and the

188
large and commodious harbour formed by the
Garonne affords every facUity and convenience.
A direct communication has been opened between
Dublin and Bordeaux by steam boats, which
ply continually during the summer months. —
Amongst the most remarkable pubUc buUdmgs
is the palace first occupied by the Dukes of
Guienne, and afterwards by the parliament, the
hotel de ville, the exchange, the palace founded
by Napoleon, the Hotel des Fermes, and the
cathedral. The vault under the tower of St.
Michel, in the last mentioned edifice, which
was buUt by the English, possesses a singular
property: — the human bodies which have been
placed here, some standing and others sitting
against the wall, still remain nearly entire,
though three hundred years are said to have
elapsed since they were thus deposited: they
afford a ghastly spectacle, especially those
whose garments stUl hang about them, whUst
their dry leathern visages and withered sinews
lead the visiter to ruminate rather deeply upon
the mutability of " this worthless tegument." —
The " patois" of the lower orders is disagree
able to a stranger at first, but by degrees the
ear becomes more famUiar with it. That class
of females denominated " grisettes," is particu
larly numerous at Bordeaux, whose tournure.

189
eyes, hair, plump graces, style of dress, and
gaiety, so entirely distinguish them from the
rest of their sex, whilst their voluptuousness
and piquancy render them by no means an ob
ject of indifference,
Durmg my stay I introduced myself to an
English colonel of the name of Tasker, who
had been an inmate of the " maison de deten
tion," at that time, twelve years and a half, —
This personage was quite an original, and kept
up all outward appearances with the greatest
exactness. In the afternoon, as was his custom,
he would take an airing in a little place about
twenty feet by four, and unless his valet dressed
him with the greatest nicety, poUshed his mili
tary-boots, and cleaned his brass spurs in his
best style, against this important daily occasion,
the colonel would manifest great symptoms of
wrath. He was confined as a debtor, for the
sum of 80,000 francs, and though well able to
pay the money, prefers spending his days in a
prison, as he considers the amount claimed from
him unfair, and consequently unjust.
When the British consul heard that it was
my intention to proceed to Gibraltar on foot, he
dissuaded me from my purpose, and warned me
that if I persisted, (though he would willingly
grant me a passport for my journey,) I should

190
most assuredly be robbed, and probably assas
sinated ere I had gone fifty miles beyond the
frontiers : as this advice was too good to be re
jected, I resolved to revisit Paris, and with this
intent I got my pass countersigned for the capi
tal, and after receiving thirty francs at the
hands of the consul, I quitted Bordeaux for the
purpose of returning thither. I crossed the
Dordogne in a boat worked by horses, and ar
rived at St. Andre de Cubzac, where I passed
the night.
At Angouleme I put up at my former quar
ters, Le Coq Noir, and supped on a cold turkey
and salad, drank a bottle of wine, and retir
ed for the night, but unfortunately was pre
cluded all possibility of sleeping: in the room
where I lodged were four beds; one was placed
close to my own, in which were a man and his
wife: indeed so conveniently near was it, that I
might have imprinted a kiss on the Ups of the
fair lady, had I only thought proper to have
stretched out my frontispiece a little, or if the
salute would have been worth the trouble : her
amiable consort was so annoyed with the tooth
ache, that he was actually roaring the whole
night, and it was utterly impossible to obtain a
moment's reposeiT—qu. if this same individual
had gone where I wished him many times dur-

191
ing the course of the few hours I staid there
where would he be at the present moment?
From Angouleme I retraced my steps to
Poitiers: the peasants in this neighbourhood
are perfectly aware that during one period
France belonged to the English, and one with
whom I conversed on the road, remarked that
the country was " tres beau," and a pity that
" les pauvres Anglais " did not know how to
retain it when they had it in possession, I men
tion this, just as the thought struck me, that
the French have a happy knack of turning
every thing, good, bad, and mdifferent, to their
own account. Sleeping one night at an auberge,
the sign of the Holy Ghost, about fourteen
leagues north of Poitiers, I had an opportunity
of noticing the politesse of two cantonniers, or
road menders ; they first made a low bow, then
hugged and embraced each other, kissed each
other on either cheek, spit on the floor, took
snuff, drank a cup of coffee, and talked politics.
This reminds me of an anecdote I once heard
in Paris of a ragman, who sent a message to a
friend of his, whom he wished to see immedi
ately, and received for answer, " Monsieur le
Facteur presente ses respects a Monsieur le
Chiffonier, qu'fl reviendra aussitot que sa petite
paitie a piquet est finie avec Monsieur le De-

192
graisseur." If this be not the perfection of
good breeding, the quintessence of politeness,
I really feel at a loss to imagine what can be !
I reached Tours, and called on the EngUsh
clergyman, who interested himself in my behalf,
and presented me with the sum of thirty-four
francs before I quitted the town ; from thence I
arrived at Amboise and Blois, wet through with
the rain, at which latter place I was accommo
dated with an elegant " robe de chambre," com
posed of alternate pieces of tarpaulin and sack
cloth, whilst my own coat was drying by the fire :
in the evening having joined a select company of
hucksters at supper, we contrived to while away
the time rather agreeably with the assistance of
various " hors d'oeuvres," turkey, " patisserie,"
wine and tobacco, until summoned by the clock
to bed. I must not forget to mention a curious
expression that I heard an old woman make use
of as I quitted Blois ; she was enquiring after her
husband, and meeting me, asked if I had seen
her " vieux b  e," In a week's time, I was
sleeping comfortably at the " Hotel des Ambas
sadeurs," Rue Notre Dame des "N^ictoires, a
Paris. Thus ended my freak, in which I had an op
portunity of observing more closely the habits
and manners of the French, in the interior of

193
the country, than those who travel the same dis
tance either by the DUigence or by post. I was
gratified upon the whole, although if I had had
any conception of the undertaking, prior to set
ting out, no doubt its magnitude would have
deterred me : I arrived at Bordeaux " sans sous,"
and actually barefooted, about ten hundred miles
from " dulce domum," where, if anything had
befallen me, I must have laid my bones amongst
the Bordelais. I felt however at the time, as
though I could have proceeded willingly and
cheerfully to Gibraltar, according to my original
determination, had I not been prevented by the
admonition of the British Consul : at all events,
I was satisfied with my journey, and though I
had acquired little knowledge by it, I had en
joyed much pleasure, and learned this lesson,
that whatever inducements other countries may
hold forth, they are but tinsel when compared
with the comforts we have left behind.
"Quid brevi fortes jaculamur sevo
Multa ? quid terras alio calentes
Sole mutamus ? patriae quis exsul
" Se quoque fugit 1"
Hor.

R

CHAPTER XVII.

" Je sais bien que le lecteur n' a pas grand besoin de
savoir tout cela ; mais j'ai besoin, moi, de le lui dire.''
/. J. Rousseau, Confessions.

After a serious debate within myself, whether
I should immediately return to England, or re
main sometime longer in France, I determined on
the latter expedient, and prepared to take a fuU
enjoyment of Paris, and Parisian elegancies and
amusements. I was received at my hotel, equally
as well as if known to be master ofa considerable
fortune, instead of having only a few francs at
my command, and perhaps the more so, as
during the interval of my absence, my luggage
had arrived by the wagon from MarseiUe, by
which means, I was enabled once more, to as.
sume the dress and appearance of a gentleman.
Here, in the solitude of my chamber, I had a
full opportunity of re-considering within myself all
my troubles and misfortunes, and weighing well
the advantages or disadvantages I had reaped
from my late mode of life ; but according to my
usual thirst after novelty, and utter dislike of
thought, I fled from myself, and hastened to

195
drown all serious reflections and upbraiding of
conscience, in company, dissipation, pecking, and
eau de vie.
My evenings, when I remained at home, were
&pent in an agreeable, domestic manner with the
family, and often with a friend or two, who would
occasionally step in either for a game at Boston,
or a " petite partie" at ecarte. The landlady
had an adopted daughter with the pleasing name
of Georgette Julie ; she was certainly a lovely
girl, a brunette, with features perfectly Grecian,
and a " taUle tres piquante ;" in her society I
spent many a pleasant hour, which otherwise,
would either have been consumed in frivolity or
idleness. With my hostess I was a great and
special favourite, and frequently had the appel
lation of " mon cher fils" or some such endear
ment, bestowed on me. My landlord had lost
his right arm in the peninsular war, but retained
so much of the true Frenchman, and French
poUtesse about him, as to merit the distinction
of " bien poU, tres agreable &c. :" he had an
inexhaustible fund of anecdote and persuasion,
which rendered him a great favourite wi^ all
his acquaintance. Such was the little coteriein
which I experienced more real pleasure and
amusement, than in all the scenes of vice and
immorality I was witness to in Paris. I arrived
r2

196
at a seasonable period for gaiety and foUy in
the metropolis, a few weeks before the carnival
commenced, and in the interim, went now and
then to the gaming tables, where I was gener
ally successful.
It would be entirely useless to attempt a no
tice, separately, of all the goodly sights in
Paris, and I fear I shaU only submit for inspec
tion, " a rank confusion in the orders of prece
dence" — but " pour commencer par le com
mencement." One of the first objects that
arrests the attention of the visiter entering
Paris, after passing the barrier, is the magnifi
cent appearance of the Boulevards, which extend
completely round the town, and besides form
ing a very handsome ornament to it, afford like
wise an agreeable promenade, with sufficient
accommodation for foot passengers, and pro
tection from the wheels and mud of passing car
riages : they are lined with four rows of trees,
two on each side, forming a pleasant shade in
the summer from the heat of the sun, and by
being kept constantly watered, are free from
that greatest of all possible nuisances, dust.
The Boulevards des Italiens are considered the
most fashionable, and are consequently, the
most frequented. People of all classes, and al
most without number, literally cram both sides

197
of the way, to such a degree, that it is difficult
to force a passage through " the multitudinous
sea ;" chairs are provided by persons who hire
them out at two sous each, and it is considered
extremely fashionable for a gentleman to occu
py three, or as many more as possible, at one
time. Long after twilight may be seen the vo
taries of fashion and pleasure sipping groseille
or lemonade in the open air, or perchance a
lover with his mistress, who, as though unseen by
aU the world, and unknovra, presses the object of
his arowerf affection to his bosom, whilst he whis
pers in her reluctant, yet willing ear, sentiments,
to which perhaps she ought not, yet cannot well
refuse to listen. Tumblers, conjurers, merry
Andrews, and a variety of others of a similar
class, here exercise their calling, and gain a
precarious subsistence from the passing throng,
merely by their performance on Sundays ; in
deed on these days, and those of the differ
ent fetes, the Boulevards resemble a fair more
than any thing else ; but still there is a wide
difference between these amusements, and
those of our country wakes ; the latter gener
ally present a scene of drunkenness, riot, and
debauchery, whilst the former, though highly
immoral in the eyes of an Englishman, have a
r3

198
tincture of elegance and refinement about them,
seldom met with in our own country.
A loud thundering at my chamber door
aroused me one morning, accompanied by the
following exclamation from one of the valets de
place, who belonged to the hotel; " levez vous.
Monsieur, levez vous, c'est Mardi gras, et tout
le monde va se promener :" Fat Tuesday,
thought I to myself, what the deuce does the
fellow mean ? however I adonized with aU con
venient haste, yet with a Uttle more than ordi
nary nicety, under the idea that my services
were required to attend some fair damsel on the
Boulevards, As soon as I had made my appear
ance in a new blue frogged frock, pantaUms a
la Cossaque, my purple velvet vest with a deU-
cate rose coloured zephyr underneath, and
boots & la Vellington, I was ushered into the
salle & manger, where an elegant dejeuner a la
fourchette was prepared, and I sat down with
several friends, to the number of some eight or
ten. During breakfast, I was astom'shed to hear
that the carnival was really going on, for the
whole appearance of the town the day before,
presented such a miserable and gloomy pros
pect, that I could not imagine a season so early
in the year, and seemingly so unpropitious, would

199
have been selected for such an amusement. Af
ter we had discussed our meal, and fortified
ourselves against the raw air of the morning
with a petit verre each, we determined to issue
forth, to see the masques and other fooleries of
" Mardi gras." I had heard ofthe carnival of
Venice being a splendid sight, and expected
the present one to be somewhat similar, but
how much I was disappointed, the sequel will
shew. For my comfort, I had to " protect" a
young English lady, handsome enough certain
ly, but who, unfortunately, wore what is gener
ally termed a cottage bonnet, and owing to this
vile lump of inelegance, imported probably from
Dunstable, the day did not pass without its se
veral nuisances, and disagreeable casualties.
As we walked along, I frequently observed that
my companion, or rather her unlucky bonnet,
was a subject of mirth and ridicule for se
veral of the persons we met, who made their re
marks in a tone too loud not to be heard, " ah
voila une joUe Anglaise, mais, parbleu, quel
cbapeau, vraiment c'est epouvantable ;" these
delicate hints became at last so frequent, fhat
my partner, (who by the bye knew little or no
French,) understood them, and felt so uneasy,
that she begged me to conduct her back again
to the hotel. Thus I was obUged to sally forth

200
again by myself, Uke another Quixote, in quest
of fresh adventures. The day was cold, com
fortless, and gloomy, yet all Paris seemed on
the qui vive. The Boulevards were thronged to
an excess with butterfly pedestrians, and nu
merous troops of dandy horsemen, mounted on
huge shining animals, and endeavouring to
persuade their steeds to indulge in an occa
sional curvet by means of large brazen spurs
with rowels simUar in superficies to half crown
pieces, whilst the poor beasts themselves seemed
much more in want of a feed of oats, than either
the aforesaid brazen implements of torture, or
the great burnished double bridle, sufficiently
powerful to pull the heaviest dray horse, when
at full speed, on his haunches. The carriages
were likewise in great numbers, and of various
descriptions, from the gaudy barouche, to the
more humble patache ; all were shabby, and so
evidently copying the EngUsh, that I could not
forbear repeating the well known lines,
" O imitatores, stultum pecus, ut mihi saspS
Bilem, saepe jocum, vestri mov§re labores."
The liveries were preposterously tawdry, and it
struck me as singular that fellows could be
found, content to dress themselves like such
egregious fools : one " flunkie" was particularly

201
remarkable, his toggery consisted of a flaming
red coat, with green tape or listing, seemingly
thrown on to it from behind in the shape of a
gridiron, his nether garments were of a most
gaudy yellow plush, and an enormous cocked
hat with loop and feather, which his politesse
ever and anon compelled him to remove from
its block, when saluting a brother chip, equally
as ridiculous as himself, completed the picture.
The French are at least two centuries behind us in
everything appertaining to horse flesh and " the
thing :" their carriages, barouches, and caleches
are clumsy and faded in the extreme, and their
breed of horses is not adapted for show. Now
and then an open carriage would appear full of
harlequins too lusty to be active, caricatures of
old women, with nothing but their plumes,
fourrures, and pierreries to recommend them,
and sailors who had never been to sea, nor even
learned to chew "pigtail :" here and there a
most lugubrious fellow would make his appear
ance in a suit of armour, and ride slowly along
as though to a funeral, whilst all merriment and
frolic seemed by common consent to be banish
ed ; those from whose dress something good, or
at least tolerable, might have been expected,
were the most silent, and consequently the most
stupid. The only being who provoked me to

202
laugh before dinner, was a remarkably corpu
lent compatriot, who was endeavouring to do
the thing in style, by shewing off a pair of fine
blood horses in a neat curricle : this respectable
individual, with his " mahogany tops," his up
per " togs" all capes, his enormous castor, and
ruddy cheeks, afforded a good specimen of the
" vrai cocher Anglais ;" imluckily some one
cried out en passant, " VoUa le bceuf gras, le
bceuf Anglais," and at this unexpected saUy,
even the good manners and poUteness of the
Parisians, could not restrain their laughter, and,
as I suppose, their merriment and the cause of
it, reaching the ears of my discomfited country
man, I had not the pleasure of beholding him
again. In the evening I was persuaded, though much
against my wiU, to accompany, my morning
companion to the grand bal masque at the
Academic Royale de Musique, and after pro
curing a domino and masque, my partner doing
the same, we sallied forth to the appointed place :
here, if possible, every thing was stUl more dull
and uninteresting, malgre my fair protegee ; the
whole assembly, with very few exceptions, was
in domino, and the few characters which ap
peared were miserably supported. After taking
several turns round the pit, which was boarded

203
over for the occasion, I induced my fair friend,
as she was in her masque, to take a peep at
another ball of the same description near the
Porte St. Martin, and prevailed on Georgette
and Monsieur R — to accompany us thither:
after dancing a considerable time, and being
rather better amused than before, we retired to
the Palais Royal to sup on devilled lobster and
champagne, and if ever this generous liquor
made eyes sparkle, it did its duty effectually on
this occasion, and our companions, heretofore
sUent, now indulged in sallies of wit and repar
tee, which, though perhaps natural to a French
woman, certainly surprised me to hear from the
retiring English lady who was with us. We
then proceeded to the Cafe de la Paix, being
determined, as it was carnival time, to shew the
ladies a Uttle more of Parisian life than they
might have seen at any other period. The
Cafe de la Paix is the resort of courtezans,
chevaliers d'industrie, and other low characters,
who assemble there to take refreshments, and
witness a play which is performed on certain
nights several times, gratis, as often as a sruffi-
eient company is assembled to constitute an
audience. The interior of the Cafe is portioned
out similarly to a theatre, with tables and
chairs arranged in the boxes for the accommo-

204
dation of aU comers ; the visitants are at Uberty
to caU for any thing they please, from a bowl of
" ponche a la Romaine," to a petit verre of eau de
vie, and in the mean time are amused with the
play or farce as it proceeds. Having remained
here some time, we summoned a voiture, and
returned home, where after venting a tolerable
number of sacres against the lazy porter, who
was too fast bound in the arms cf Morpheus to
awake at the first sound of the beU, we at last
obtained admission, and found the way to our
respective virtuous couches.
Most men make pleasure an enjoyment, but
it is the business and sole happiness of the
Frenchman ; he points as steadily and faithfiiUy
to pleasure, the goddess he worships, as the
needle does to the pole. The St, Leger, or
the announcement of a " miU" between two
crack men, does not afford half that sensation
to the " gentleman of the turf," as a fete, pro
cession, or Longchamps does to the French
man: the least change in the weather makes
him uneasy, and he watches the variation of the
barometer with more interest than the regular
jobber notices the rise and faU of the stocks. 
Many were the anxious faces I witnessed on the
mornings oi Longchamps ; any observer might
have perceived that the sun had as much influ-

205
ence over the visages of the good Parisians, as
over the aspect of the heavens. ¦ During my
residence of a few weeks, I had contracted an
intimacy with a young Irishman, who Uved at
the same hotel with myself, and we agreed to
witness, for one day, the frivolities and heartless
pleasure of this said fete of Longchamps. At
an early hour we set out to a " magasin de voi
tures a louer," considering it rather beneath the
dignity of our country to ride in a fiacre, and
after a long walk, we arrived at a bazaar for all
kinds of vehicles ; broken-down barouches,
dingy caleches, pataches, coucous, with " rebus
omnibus et quibusdam aUis :" after looking
round the yard in vain, for something tolerably
decent, we were obliged to throw ourselves into
a huge blue chariot picked out with red, which
was to serve as our conveyance to the gay scene.
As we were early, there were but few equipages
out, but in a short time the whole city of Paris
seemed to have vomited forth its thousands,
and carriages which had probably lain up
smothered in dust for nearly half a century,
now put forth their furbished pannels,^ and
seemed to smile once again on being introduced
to day Ught. The groups of pedestrians were
what they seemed to be, Parisians, with per
haps a few importations from England and the

206
surrounding nations ; but the equestrians, mas
ters and grooms, were completely out of their
element, in their various laughter moving efforts
to appear a 1 'Anglaise, whUe clumsy pos
tilions in jack boots, and hair " en queue,"
down to the rump, shook hands with themselves
as they passed in array before us: now and
then a smart EngUsh equipage would dash
along for a short distance, and then be ordered
by some dozens of mounted gens d'armes,
threatening with the bare blades of their sabres,
to fall into the line of carriages, which moved
tardily along, horizontaUy analagous to the as
cent and descent of two buckets in a weU. I
suffered martyrdom until the evening, screw
ed up in the blue chariot picked out with
red, and afterwards entered the " Salon de
Mars," to remove certain symptoms, which the
raw air and the motion of our vehicle had pro
duced, Longchamps derives its name from
the processions of the inmates of a neighbour
ing abbey, which took place in former days
during passion week, but have since been per
verted by the goddess of fashion to her own
peculiar ends. This fete is one of the principal
periodical fooleries of Paris, and the chief gala-
day of men mUUners and dress makers : no one,
male or female, who has the least pretension to

207
la mode, can possibly be absent with any credit,
but must remain for hours in an open carriage,
braving the cutting piercings of the raw winds
with the utmost sangfroid, and moving up and
down the Champs Elysees at a snail's pace,
while the ladies at the same time afford the
greatest contrast by their artificial flowers and
thin dresses, to the bare branches of the oaks
which stretch across the road. This, I thought,
is pleasure: ergd, pleasure consists in being
starved, gaped at, and despising one's self for
such nonsensical foUy. John Bull would not
exchange his Newmarket for aU the gaieties of
a hundred Longchamps centred in one ; but
then these amusements are respectively national,
and most probably, this fete affords to the
Frenchman as much pleasure as the horse race
does to the Englishman, and vice versa. For
my own part, I rejoice always to see a people
gazing with pleasure on an exhibition of any
sort, provided it be not decidedly immoral; it
proves that there is little or no danger of those
distinctions becoming obsolete, which prevent
all countries from becoming one immense undis
tinguishable family. Let Monsieur have his
fricandeau and omelette, and John Bull his
roast beef, we like our meat too plain and
homely for his palate, and he prefers his dishes
s 2

208
too unsubstantial and saucey for our's. After
satisfying our appetites on some exceUent^o<"
age cL la Julienne, a couple of rognons au vin
champagne, and some cafe, which the gar9on
assured us was superbe, we returned to our
hotel about eight o'clock in the evening, where
we discussed a bottle of Beaune, premidre qua-
lite, and afterwards took a stroll in the Palais
Royal, and entered No. 154, one of the princi
pal gaming houses in that quarter: it was by
no means my debut within one of these atmos
pheres of sacres and mille tonnerres, yet I wiU
here attempt to describe one of the " hells," so
common in this metropolis.

CHAPTER xvm.

¦ Si luditur alea pemox.

-^— — Si dormire incipis ortu
Luciferi, quo signa duces et castra movebant. Juv.

The gaming establishments in Paris are re
cognised, regulated, and taxed by government,
which derives an immense sum annually from
this source. In the Palais Royal there are four

209
saloons of this description, where men of the
first respectabUity, of all sects and parties, as
semble for the avowed purpose of gambling. —
In No. 36, Rouge et Noir, Roulette, and Haz
ard is played; in 113, Roulette alone; in 129,
Rouge et Noir, Roulette, and Hazard; and in
154, the same, with the exception of the dice.
In this last mentioned salon, the late Marshal
Blucher won and lost enormous sums, but since
then, the player is prevented from doubling his
stake successively, and can only proceed as far
as twelve thousand francs. We ascended a
flight of steps, and entered an ante-room, where
my friend gave his hat and great coat into the
charge of one of the Messieurs de la chambre,
bidding me do the same, and each of us receiv
ed in exchange, a square piece of bone, with
the corresponding figure of the peg on which
our hats were placed. From the number ar
ranged on aU sides, I concluded there was a full
attendance in the rooms, and I found upon en
tering, that my conjecture was perfectly correct.
The interior was splendidly fitted up with look
ing glass, gilt cornices, and elegant blue silk
curtains; whilst in the centre ofthe room stood
the table, surrounded by votaries of the ever-
craving, insatiable vice. The first apartment
we entered was appropriated to Roulette, and
s o

210
though not numerously attended, yet the anx
ious countenances of the surrounding few, and
their unbroken sUence, sufficiently pourtrayed
their inward thoughts, even to the casual ob
server ; no one stirred as we entered, for aU ap
peared too deeply absorbed to remove their eyes
from the rotatory motion of a chUd's marble, on
which depended the success or faUure of the
stakes last deposited.
In themiddleof a long table covered with green
cloth, was a circular hollow, out of the centre of
which rose a piece of brass elegantly worked, to
the height of some six inches, serving as a handle
to turn round the revolving wheel at the bot
tom ; this apparatus, or wheel, was set in motion
by means of the hand, and immediately after
wards a small ivory baU was twirled round in a
contrary direction, which, after performing sun
dry revolutions, descended gradually to the bot
tom of the wheel, where was formed a circle of
partitions each barely large enough to receive
it, with their respective numbers described above
in gilded figures, from one, to thirty-six, each
alternate compartment being black or red : into
one of these divisions the ball finaUy settled, and
the number, together with the colour, was pro
claimed aloud by the person to whom that office
belonged. On the green baize were decyphered

211
the corresponding numbers, with oblong divisions
aUotted for rouge, noir, impair, pair, la passe,
and la manque, with separate partitions for play
ing on the twelve first, twelve middle, or twelve
last numbers, or either one of the columns of fi
gures, into three of which the thirty-six numbers
were arranged : of course the red, black, odd,
and even, soon decided their own fate, and the
passe and manque likewise.
If the player staked his money on either of the
three twelves, or the columns, he received dou
ble the amount if successful ; but if he was for
tunate enough to single out the exact number
the ball lodged in, he was entitled to thirty-five
times the amount of his coup. The bank in this
game has about thirty-eight chances to thirty-
five in it's favour : the reason is obvious : on the
wheel, and on the top of the green cloth next
to it, are three cyphers, the single and double
zeros, as they are caUed ; the single is red, and
the other black; should the ball fall into the
single one, red, and the player has his money
on that colour, the impair, or the manque, the
bank neither claims his stake nor covers it, but
sweeps up all on the opposite side, ancf vice
versa, so that in this case, the bank wins, with
out incurring the risk of losing : if a coup is
played on either of the zeros, and should be sue-

212
cessful, the player then only receives thirty-five
times the amount of the sum he has staked,
which makes with his own coup, as before men
tioned, about thirty-eight to thirty-five against
him, every time he plays, not to mention that
once in eighteen times in the long run, there
will be a zero upon the average. At this game
the French themselves say that no one has a
chance of winning, unless he can preserve his
temper cool and calm, and be perfectly coUected
both whilst fortunate and the contrary : I recol
lect once seeing a man stupidly and obstinately,
with a tete bien montee, pursuing a run of ill luck
at roulette, and for his last coup threw a whole
heap of Napoleons in almost every direction on
the table, covering perhaps thirty numbers out
of the thirty-six, when unfortunately for him,
the ball lodged in a number he had left blank*
In this first apartment I played several coups
and lost a few francs, and then proceeded to an
inner room dedicated to Rouge et Noir, but as
this was only a "sUver hell," I went forward with
my friend to another, similar in every respect,
except that silver was prohibited, and only gold
and bank notes tolerated. The Rouge et Noir
table was of an oblong form, and covered with
baize : profuse heaps of gold in wooden bowls,
and bank notes to a large amount were placed

213
in heaps in the centre, aU which are either
counted over, or weighed, when the salon opens,
in presence of an inspector, and again when it
closes : on both sides of this golden fruit, were
seated Croupiers and Tailleurs, and poUce of
ficers in disguise ; each banker had a rdteau, and
the company were provided with like implements,
in order to avoid the disagreeable contact of any
objectionable fingers with the gold.
The table was divided into three divisions at
either end ; one, appropriated to the black,
another, to the red, which was designated by a
diamond patch of cloth of the same colour, and
a third, between the other two, to receive the
stakes of those who speculated on the colour of
the first card turned up, where they might
either play for, or against it. The dealer is
provided with six packs of cards, (regularly ex
amined though new, before play commences,)
which he shuffles for some time, and any one
present is aUowed to cut them, which is done
by placing a blue card in that part, in which the
cutter may wish them to be divided ; afterwards
the cards are placed against a small marble
slab in a slanting direction, and the dealer
*aking up a handful, after the stakes are deposit
ed, cries out, " Messieurs faites votre jeu, le
jeu est fait," with perfect indifference, regard-

214
less whether the heaps of gold at issue before
him, should be won or lost, whether, he should
have to scrape them up with his most particu
larly accursed rake, or pay them like an honest
man: after this, nothing can either be added
or withdrawn. He then begins to deal out the
cards in two rows. Thirty-one is the number
of the game, and the row which approaches
nearest to this number, either taUying with it
exactly, or exceeding it by the fewest dots on
the cards, is successfid. The first row is imi-
formly for black, and the second for red; of
course neither row can possibly exceed forty,
should even four tenth cards be turned up suc
cessively, and this is the worst number for
either colour. Should both rows happen to be
in amount similar to one another, which very
frequently occurs, the dealer solemnly ejaculates
the word " apres," and removing the cards just
dealt out, into a hole in the table cut for the
purpose, commences de novo : should each row
however, amount precisely to thirty-one, herein
consists the profit of the bank ; on this occasion
half the stakes on the table, of whatever amount
they may be, become forfeited, and the different
coups are placed in prison, tUl the next fiat of
fortune : in the mean time, the bank will return
to the player half of his money, or aUow him to

215
change his colour, but whichever side wins the
next time, from the circumstance of the money
having been imprisoned, it pays nothing, inas
much as the half that it was entitled to on the
" thu'ty-one apres," covers the remaining half
of the stake belonging to the player. Should the
black win, the bankers, or rather the " Croupiers
TaUleurs, &c," rake up the money from off the
red, and cover the previous lodgments on the
opposite colour, which according to the option
of the player, may either remain on the table
with the chance of being doubled, or be with
drawn into his pocket. The " Messieurs de la
chambre," who are in constant attendance, are
provided with cards and pins for the accommo
dation of the company. These cards are per
pendicularly ruled with red and black Unes, and
the columns alternately marked with R. and N.
one for rouge, and the other for noir ; as each
colour may be successful, the player perforates
this horoscope with a pin accordingly, in order
that he may afterwards have some seeming chance
by observing how the preceding colours have
varied, upon reference to this delusive talisman.
Some veterans in the game, carefully deposited
the cards thus marked, according to the various
chances of the evening, in their pocket-books,
and seemed as though morally certain of win-

216
ning the next time they came, and making " as
surance doubly sure," by consulting, analysing,
and poring over these oracles at home, during
leisure. Sometimes the colours, in the language
of the gamester, zig-zag, or win and lose alter
nately, for a number of times, it is then that the
knowing ones reckon on a long run on one or
the other, perhaps six or seven for instance*
on the red, then on a change for once to
black, and afterwards for the lions leap, as it is
called, to red, for ten, twelve, or possibly fifteen
times. Eventually, however, the bank must neces
sarily be the gainer, for although the odds in
its favour, at first appear smaU and unimportant,
yet if we only consider, that a certain average
portion of every stake deposited, in reaUty be
comes the property of the bank, as the " thirty-
one apres" will come, sooner or later, of course
we are obviously struck with the certainty, that
eventually, the player must lose, and that the
higher he plays, so much heavier in proportion,
will be his losses : yet how can it be accounted
for, that men, who are perfectly aware that the
bank has such enormous advantages, and the
player such terrible odds to contend against,
wUl run headlong to certain and inevitable ruin?
It surely can be nothing short of the most des-

217
perate madness; a madness, that even in the
midst of success, is rendered insatiate, and as it
were, ravenous for larger riches, whilst during
the anxiety caused by a run of ill luck, it gnaws
the very heart's core, with a torture that nothing
can aUay.
It is most surprising, yet perfectly true, that
there are certain speculators, who frequent
these gaming houses daily, as a matter of busi
ness, by which they gain a livelihood, and even
keep clerks, some to the number of half a dozen,
to play for them. Their plan is, to sit at the
table the whole of the day previous to the one on
which they play, and note down carefuUy, all the
numbers at roulette, that may occur, from twelve
o'clock at noon, to twelve at night : afterwards
they play exclusively upon the figures that appear
to be marked the least number of times, during
the whole ofthe foUowing day, and by this means
are said to realize upon the average, from ten
to fifteen francs per diem for their employers,
besides their own wages, which may be five or
six more.
In the better class of these gambling salooss,
refreshments of all sorts are provided gratis for
the company, from the ham boiled in champagne,
down to plain bread and butter ; but for the
T

218
most part, they remain unnoticed and untouch
ed. There is something revolting and disgust
ing in the idea of partaking of any thing, ui one
of these detestable places, where human nature
is displayed in its greatest and most hideous de
formity ; from whence, perhaps, the very even
ing before, some infatuated being, after being
pillaged of his all, has rushed out, calling down
curses on himself and his despoilers, and enter
ed, unsummoned and unprepared into the pre
sence of his Maker ! In the " Salon des Etran-
gers," in the Rue RicheUeu, dinners of the
most elegant and costly description are pro
vided, which are numerously attended by for
eigners and strangers, and many of my own
unfortunate countrymen have here consum
mated the ruin of princely fortunes.
My friend and myself had surveyed the scene
before us for some time, without venturing any
thing, when at last I threw down a double Nap,
and was fortunate enough to win ; I continued
to play, and after various success, was upon the
point of cutting, with a tolerably round sum in
my pocket, when my attention was arrested by
the entrance of an individual who was in the
habit of gambling most heavUy : we delayed on
purpose to observe him, but for my own part, I
had serious cause to regret having remained, as

219
I can never look back to the events of that
night, without feelings of the greatest horror.
On several occasions I had noticed this unfor
tunate man stake his money on the table, and
then run immediately into a corner, and hide
his face, until his coup was decided ; then
again he would talk to himself, with his fingers
in his ears, whilst walking to and fro in the
room, on purpose to drown the banker's voice :
in short he was reduced to such a state of nerv
ousness, brought on by over anxiety, that it was
most distressing to behold him. On this occasion,
he advanced to the table, and as he was so well
known, there was, if possible, even greater si
lence than before ; he put his right hand into
his bosom, and pulled forth, with the other, a
large bundle of bank notes, tied up with a string,
and threw them on the table ; this coup he lost :
he then placed a second heap on the same co
lour, and lost again : he remained a short time,
in a sort of stupor, gazing on vacancy, and at
last, threw another parcel of the same descrip
tion, on the red, which unfortunately rolled on
to the black, where he allowed it to remain,
and lost that also: he afterwards drew forth
his right hand, and exclaimed, whilst his
finger nails, which he had dug into his flesh
during his mental agony, were dripping with
T 2

220
blood, " c'est mon sang que vous voulez, la
voila." He sauntered for some time after
this, up and down the saloon, and no one
took any further notice of him. At last how
ever, unperceived, he approached the window,
and before any one was aware of his intention,
precipitated himself below. The height from
the ground not being very considerable, he did
not put an end to himself as he wished, but
broke both his legs, and was obliged immedi
ately to be removed, in order to have the bene
fit of surgical assistance. This unfortunate
event delayed not, in the least, the progress of
play, for every one seemed to return to it, with
renewed zest, and appetite, burying in entire
oblivion all recoUection of the individual above
mentioned, except to remark, as the Parisians
turn every thing into a joke, that it was a pity
the pigeon attempted to fly, after his wings had
been clipped. Pondering this strange and aw
ful occurrence in my mind, I remained in this
accursed gaming house till an advanced hour in
the morning, and as I went to the window, from
which the unfortunate act was perpetrated, day
break was just peering forth: I had always
been a great admirer of every thing which
could be associated with the charms of nature,
and now I doubly felt her force, for a moment.

221
without reverting from the prospect before me,
to the hell behind.
Beckoning to my friend, we took our depart
ure homewards, whilst I could not help con
gratulating myself that the preceding evening,
though not spent very creditably, had at least
afforded a salutary lesson, which taught me to
confine my passions within their proper limits'
and not to dare, whatever might be my misfor
tunes, to deprive myself of that Ufe which was
given me for far different purposes than to re
turn, the moment it became irksome.
But although the very name of gaming,
in a place for the avowed purpose of so doing,
is at present, and with justice, discoun
tenanced, so that no one, who is not either
whoUy above public opinion, or below it, (which
by the bye, are both convincing proofs of a
weak mind,) would desire to be seen entering a
"heU" in broad day, yet there are certain
species of gambling patronised and looked upon
very cordially, even by the most fastidious. —
Some there are, who having the spirit to specu
late, accumulate a rapid fortune by a successful
manoeuvre, in preference to rising step by step,
by a more plodding and honest industry, —
Gaming is not confined to "heUs," but is also to
be met with on the exchange, in the church, at
t3

contested elections, in assurance offices, and in
the " glorious uncertainty of the law;" in short,
it pervades all classes, all trades, and all pro
fessions. A clergyman, for instance, buys an
advowson, or has one purchased for him ; is not
that a speculation, does he not calculate upon
the then incumbent's death ? If an election is
likely to cost either party 20,000^. is it not Uke
playing at chuck farthing; each puts down his
stakes for the chance of being returned ? Share
holders in assurance offices gain or lose alter
nately, upon life or death, just like " odd or
even." To call in a physician when iU, is most
decided gaming; this man will cure, that wiU
make an end of you ; yet your decision rests
entirely on chance, — ^you are as likely to sum
mon the one as the other : — heads for this doc
tor, tads for that. War is gambUng upon a
larger scale, and Caesar at PharsaUa, Hannibal
at Zama, and Napoleon at Moscow, were all
merely instances of hot-headed gamblers, stak
ing their all upon the chances of fortune, and
resolving to play the last coup, double or quits.
Most unquestionably gaming has a tendency
to promote suicide, but in this respect, I should
be inclined to think the world reaps con
siderable advantage, for in reality, were not
these gentry sometimes to make away with

223
themselves, it is most probable, that the ex-
pence of putting them on the shelf, would be
placed to the debit side of the hundred. As
for the feelings of wives, friends, &c. in like
cases, it is but natural to suppose, that such
spirits cannot possibly have ingratiated them
selves so far, by their conduct, and so entwined
themselves around the affections of relatives, as
to leave behind an aching void that cannot be
refilled. If two honourable gentlemen fall by
each other's hands, there is at once an end of
the matter, and the community at large has a
double benefit ; two worthless characters obtain
a quietus, nobody cares how. Our country, so
famous for its morality, produces the greatest
gamblers, in the way of betting, in the world :
nothing is amiss; a maggot, a straw, or the fate
of the ex-ministers of France, whUst it yet
remained uncertain, all is converted into a
source of pecuniary advantage.
Upon what trivial points many things seem
to hang: had not Charles VI. some time king
of France, been weary with doing nothing, per
haps cards would never have been invented;
and though hypochondriacs and Irish fortune-
hunters at Bath and Cheltenham, would have
been at a sad loss to kill time without short
whist and ecarte, yet still the ingenuity of man

224
would have found some equivalent to avert en
nui, and probably at the present period, dow
agers, guinea-faced nabobs, and old maids, who
spend most of their time behind painted parallel
ograms of pasteboard, muttering every now
and then, " I mark one for the king," or, " I
propose," would either divert themselves with a
little " chicken hazard," or like our GaUic female
neighbours, pass a rainy morning at the billiard
table. To sum up, that which is considered
perfectly right and just in a peer, or man of for
tune, should not be construed as reprehensible
in a person of inferior grade; and it seems
rather paradoxical that professed gamblers
should be universally condemned, whilst dab
blers in the funds, and money lenders, are fre
quently looked upon with respect.

CHAPTER XIX.

A few days after this occurrence at the salon,
being desirous of seeing some of the Uons of the
capital, I set out determined to gratify my curi
osity in the first place, by a sight of the wonders
of that far famed, elegant Pandemonium, the

225
Palais Royal. It is a beautiful stone building,
of a Ught appearance from the interior, and
nearly square. The palace of the Due d' Or
leans, (as he was then styled,) is situated at one
corner, opposite to the theatre Fran9ais: there
are two smaU gardens in the middle, the one
ornamented with a bronze statue of Apollo, and
the other with a figure of Diana, whilst between
them is a beautifid "jet d' eau." The whole
square is planted with trees, under whose shade
chairs are let out for hire, together with the
daUy journals, to those who may choose thus to
spend a few sous. The present appropriation
of the buUding constitutes its sole interest in the
eyes of the Parisians. It belongs to the King
of the French, who derives an enormous income
from this place alone. After indulging in a
glass of " scubac," and a pipe, and amusing
myself by overlooking a game at biUiards, at
the " Cafe et Estaminet HoUandaise," which
I generally frequented when in the neigh
bourhood, I descended to the stone gaUery
underneath, and took a cursory glance around,
uncertain at the moment which way to direct
my steps. Chance, however, directed me to
the " Cafe des Aveugles et du Sauvage,"
and after a Uttle trouble, without a Cicerone, I
found myself amongst its subterranean laby-

226
rinths. Here is an orchestra entirely composed
of blind men, whilst a fellow with a few feathers
on his head, and the same quantity around bis
loins, is hired for a certain sum each night, to
beat a large drum, grin and rave, a la sauvage,
to the great amusement of numerous paysans,
who come from the neighbouring viUages, to
witness this hero's performance, and sip a cup
of coffee in the Palais Royal. From this place,
when I arrived superas ad auras, I visited the
Cafe de la Paix, but the interior was so haunted
by sirens, who hinted something rather equivo
cally about a bowl of punch, that I instantly
decamped. In this sink of iniquity every appetite may be
gratified, every passion indidged ! On the
ground floor, are jewellers, money changers,
watch makers, tobacconists, &c. ; every article
that can please the fancy, or allure the purchaser,
is here exposed for sale : au second, are gaming
rooms, restaurants, cafes, dentistes, artistes en
cheveux, and tailors, whUst above these, are the
salons and apartments of ladies of that class who
angle for men : these girls dress remarkably well,
and if it be true that women are seen to the
greatest advantage by candle light, they cer
tainly have this aid in their favour, as they are
not allowed to spread their nets until dusk, when

227
tiiey make their appearance in full costume, and
promenade under the arches of the building,
distributing their smiles most graciously to aU
whom they may chance to meet. Thus the eye
of deUcacy is not offended, and the Palais Roy
al, during the day time, would appear the very
paradise of Paris, the acme of aU that is neat
orderly, and agreeable, tUl the curtain is with
drawn, when it is exposed in its naked deform
ity. Every female of this loose character is pro.
tected by government, to which she pays a regu
lar tax of five francs per month, and if any wo
man, no matter what her station in life may be,
is seen more than once in suspicious company,
she is marked down in the books of the police,
and called upon at the end of the month. If it
were possible to obtain the good graces of As-
modeus, and borrow his assistance for a short
time, to be enabled from above to view for a sin
gle night the wickedness and abominations car
ried on in this polluted and unholy pile, the spec.
tator would be overcome with feelings of the
greatest loathing and horror : there is scarcely
any vicious incUnation that ever entered into the
mind of man, which does not flourish luxuriantly
in this hot-bed of impurity, and appear daily to
assume fresh strength and fascination for allure
ment. The immorality of our own metropolis.

228
is as virtue in comparison with the gaieties of
Paris, whUst at the same time, the dissipation
and amusements tr^s recherches of the latter,
are so gilded over, and have an air of such ele
gant refinement about them, that although in
reality they are more dangerous and seducing
than the pleasures of London, yet from the gloss
thus imperceptibly thrown around them, and the
delicate manner in which they put forth their at
tractions, we are apt to overlook what the veU
may conceal, and satisfied with the outward
semblance, incedimus  "per ignes
Suppositos cineri doloso."
Many ofthe principal ornaments in Paris, and
many of her public buildings were begun during
the reign of Napoleon, and it must be univers
ally allowed that he has beautified the city in a
most striking and superb style, and at a wonder
ful expence. Each of his efforts appears to
have been on a gigantic scale. The Hotel des
Invalides, somewhat on the plan of Greenwich
and Chelsea hospitals, is a noble structure, easUy
to be distinguished at some distance, by its lofty
domes, covered with gilding, and sparkling in
the sun. It is the asylum of superannuated and
disabled soldiers, and is conducted in every de
partment with the most skUful regularity. The

229
building itself is composed of five courts, and
possesses an exceUent library, presented to the
institution by Napoleon, which, whUe it serves
to beguile the time of the veterans who have
access to it, and have acquired a taste for read
ing, must add much to their comforts, and alle
viate the solitary hours of old age and decay, —
The chapel attached to this edifice is spacious
and elegant ; it is paved with marble, and was
formerly ornamented with the standards which
had been captured by the French armies : these
trophies amounted to nearly two thousand, of
which only two had been taken from the Eng
Ush : they were committed to the flames, much
to the chagrin of the French, when the allies
took possession of Paris. During the reign of
infidelity, this chapel was denominated the Tem
ple of Mars. Here repose the ashes of Vauban
and Turenne, the former of whom, my guide
failed not to repeat twice or three times, was the
first engineer the world ever produced. The
monument of Turenne, together with his re
mains, were removed from St. Denis, at the
time when the sepulchres of the French kings
were devoted to destruction by decree of the
Convention. The exterior of this edifice has no
pretension to architectural elegance, but the
beauty of its chapel sufficiently atones for this
defect. u

230
Again, what a magnificent and splendid tri
umphal arch Napoleon commenced, but Uved
not to complete, near the barriere de NeiuUy,
which forms such a striking feature in the prospect
from the Tuilleries ! but this, Uke the Place du
Carousel, and many other of his bold and vast
designs, which were left unfinished at the time
of his abdication, remain so to this day, owing
to the stupidity, jealousy, or bigotry, of those
who have succeeded him. The Ught and beau
tiful arch in the Place du Carousel is buUt of free
stone, and consists of three arcades. It is
adorned with several piUars of red marble, which
form a glaring contrast with the other materials
of which it is composed. The whole was crown
ed with a triumphal chariot formerly, to which
were attached the celebrated Venetian horses.
The destiny of these horses appears singular.
They are said to have been executed by the fa
mous Lysippus, and were given to Nero by Ti-
ridates, king of Armenia, to adorn the chariot
of the Sun on the arch he erected subsequent to
his conquest of the Parthians. They were re
moved to Constantinople by Theodosius, and
were placed in the Hippodrome by Constantine,
where they remained till the capture of Constan
tinople by the French and Venetians, in the be
ginning of the thirteenth century, when they

,231
were conveyed to Venice, and placed on the fa
cade of the church of St. Mark, from whence
they were removed to Paris, and afterwards ta
ken back to their former station at Venice. Six
bas-reliefs record the events of the campaign of
1805, whilst several figures, representing the
different costumes of the French soldiery, occu
py the remaining compartments of the arch.
This monument of national vanity remained un
injured during the time the alUes occupied Paris,
and stUl possesses aU its primitive beauty.
On the south side of the Place du Carousel,
is the famous picture gallery of the Louvre, ex
tending a quarter of a mile in length. The
chief part of the palace of the Louvre is built
in the style of the siecle of Louis Quatorze ;
the eastern front, which is called from its pillars
the colonnade of the Louvre, is a model of sym
metry, and would excite general admiration,
were the space before it freed from the degrad
ing association of stalls and salesmen. The
grand entrance is particularly fine, but the prin
cipal object of attraction is the gallery. It is
out of the power of language to do justice to
the splendid coup d'oeil which this magnificent
apartment affords : its walls are ornamented
with such wonderful productions of the pencil,
exhibited in such a rich profusion, that the eye
u2

23^
knows not where to rest as it wanders through
the vast collection. It would be impossible to
afford due time for the examination of these
paintings, as a whole Ufe would not suffice for
the purpose : their value can only be fully ap
preciated by those who understand the art, and
it would be presumptuous in any one to record
more than the general impression which he receiv
ed from the entire spectacle. With regard to
myself, I was struck with the deepest admiration,
and though the description I had beard of
several particular compositions before my visit,
had raised my ideas to the highest pitch, yet
my imagination had neither dared, nor been
able to conceive any thing that would bear the
the most distant comparison with the glowing
canvass before me. The works of no Uving
master were admitted into the grand gaUerj",
with the exception of a few by David, whom
Napoleon thus especially honoured. The nou
velle exposition, consisting of works executed by
modern artists, is exhibited annually in the large
saloons which the visiter passes through on his ap
proach to the grand gallery. Some few years since,
a chef d 'eeuvre in the art of conveyancing was ef
fected here : a certain picture valued at £20,000,
was cut out of its frame, and a counterfeit sub
stituted, but the trick was so cleverly perform-

233
ed, that even those persons who are appointed
for the sole purpose of watching and guarding
against accidents of this nature, were deceived :
the painting was said to have found its way
to our island, that " heU of pictures," which
opens its mouth to receive, and then closes for
ever. This gallery, besides being used as a de
pot for objects of taste and art, is also a favour
ite lovers' rendezvous, and many an enamoured
pair may frequently be seen gazing at the
works of art around, but oftener looking into
"  each other's dark eyes darting light
Into each other."
Beneath are several apartments appropriated
to the reception of statuary. Here are the
breathing marbles which for ages before the
Christian era, excited the admiration of Greece,
and which the Romans could not aspire to
emulate. No copies can give an adequate
representation of the spirited originals. The
beautiful statue of the Venus Victrix owes
much of the interest it possesses, to its being
suffered to remain in its mutilated state; the
restorations have merely the appearance of
marble, whUst the antique parts, on minute ex
amination, have all the delicacy and springiness
of flesh. Many of these splendid monuments

234
of art were taken from the Greeks by the Ro
mans, and were afterwards wrested from their
hands by the very descendants of those Gauls
who were once their slaves : however the French
have suffered in their turn : the works of Praxi
teles and Xeuxis, the masterpieces of Titian,
Raphael, Caracci, Poussin, and numerous other
illustrious masters, taken from conquered Ger
many and Italy, have been restored : this was
indeed a severe blow to the pride of the French,
to their national pride ; to give up those works
of art, for which their fellow countrymen and
relatives had shed their blood and endangered
their lives, to part thus with the remembrances
and tokens of their mUitary glory, which they
cherished with such fond anxiety, and boasted
of to the stranger with such animated warmth,
was a blow which they never can bury in ob
livion. The palace of the TuUleries, on the western
side of the Place du Carousel, was the usual re
sidence of the French kings when in the capi
tal, and was also inhabited by Napoleon, as oc
casion required, during the sun of his power.
This edifice was begun in the sixteenth century,
and finished after various interruptions in the
seventeenth. It exhibits several orders of ar
chitecture, and extends from north to south

235
above one thousand feet. The pavilions at each
corner, and the one in the centre, are loftier
than the other parts of the building, yet the
inequality produces no bad effect, and the
whole has a noble and venerable appearance.
The gardens in front are kept in the neatest
order, and are intersected by walks overshadow
ed by huge lime trees, which form one of the
most fashionable promenades for the Parisians ;
chairs are to be hired, and the journals of the
day, as in other places of public resort :
orangers and citronniers make their appearance
annually, in wooden boxes of the ancien regime,
and are clipped and rounded with mathematical
precision, by the shears, so as to destroy all
beauty. Gold and silver fish sport about in
ponds lined with marble, whilst now and then a
jet d'eau rises in the air to the height of some
thirty or forty feet. Numerous statues, both in
bronze and marble are placed with the greatest
taste in various parts, and the long unintercept-
ed view from the western entrance, up the
Champs Elysees, affords to the eye a pleasing
diversity of scene. Early in the day, at a mild
season of the year, gay bonnes may be seen
romping and disporting with their chubby
charges, enjoying the benefit of a beautiful sky
and fresh air, whilst now and then the ear is

236
struck by the remark of some old codger, con
cerning a Uttie one, " Mon dieu qu'U est gentil,
— qu'eUe a I'air distingue," &c.
The most magnificent and splendid view in
Paris is from the gardens of the TuUleries down
the rue CastigUone towards the Boulevards: on
each side are houses of the most elegant de
scription buUt of stone, the residence of minis
ters and ambassadors, whilst in the centre of the
Place Vendome, the column, the proudest and
handsomest monument in Paris, Ufts its stately
bead. This column is one hundred and thirty-
three feet in height, and twelve in diameter.
It is built in imitation of Trajan's pUlar, and is
ornamented by a course of bas reUefs, running
in a spiral line to the top, which represent the
principal events of the campaign in which Na
poleon destroyed, apparently for ever, the
power of the house of Austria. This beautifiil
and elaborate piece of workmanship, or rather
the plates on the outside, were cast from can
non taken by the French at the battle of Aus
terlitz, and would have been demolished by
those hyperborean barbarians, the Russians,
when the allied armies were in Paris, had not
the Duke of WeUington interfered and defend
ed it from their attacks. Formerly an exceUent
statue of Napoleon was placed on the top, but

237
upon the restoration of Louis dixhuit, this was
dragged to the ground, and the miserable " dra-
peau blanc" and fleur de Us were displayed in
its stead, StiU however Napoleon's favourite
eagle remains at each corner, just above the
pedestal, supporting a wreath of laurel.
The shaft of the column is built of stone, and
has pieces of wood driven into it at certain dis
tances, into which the plates of metal are fastened.
The most eminent artists were gathered from
aU parts of Europe to erect this pUIar, and the
bas reUefs were chiefly from the models of the
celebrated sculptor Bartolini, It would be dif
ficult, if not altogether impossible to conceive
any thing more beautiful, and the French shew
a laudable pride, when they inscribe underneath
the print, " Qu'on est fier d'etre Frangais quand
on regarde la colonne." This will remain, but
not so long as' the name of him by whom it was
erected : it will always be venerated by the
French as a choice token of remembrance be
stowed upon them by the man they loved and
adored beyond all others : it wiU remind their
posterity ofthe exploits performed by theif fore
fathers under the banner of the Eagle, and they
wUl recollect with enthusiam, whUe France is
France, that it was Napoleon who brought
them to that acme of miUtary glory at which

238
they have arrived, and rendered them respect
ed by the world.
From the several circumstances connected
with the chateau of Vincennes, I was anxious
to obtain a view of the gloomy pUe, and on a
beautiful May morning, I left Paris to put my
design into execution. The sky was unusually
serene, and of that delicate cerulean hue so
seldom seen in our own country, the birds were
chirping gaily amongst the trees, and the whole
face of nature seemed particularly animated,
forming a striking contrast with the sombre
grandeur of the place I intended to visit. Hav
ing passed the Barriere du Trone, I entered
upon the straight road that led to the place of
my destination, which was lined on both sides
as far as the eye could reach, with elms : on
the right and left the land was highly cultivated,
and ever and anon the peach gardens in fuU
bloom scented the atmosphere with a deUcious
fragrance. A few paysans who brought the
various produce of their farms to market, and
the heavy cumbrous diligence with a patache
and coucou or two, would now and then disturb
my train of thoughts untU I reached this for
midable chateau.
After crossing the drawbridges, one of the
jailers, who was my guide, ushered me into an

2S9
inner court. Every thing around seemed to
proclaim gloominess, misery, and arbitrary
power; whUst the drawbridges, moats, and
walls of some sixteen or eighteen feet in thick
ness, shut out every idea of escape. Whilst
CMitemplating the scene around, I felt an over
powering sadness steal over me, which out
balanced every other sensation; and when I con
sidered the dreadful sufferings and tortures
which some of my fellow creatures had under
gone in this den of misery, an involuntary sick
ness and loathing of heart came over me. —
Here, thought I, in this " maison d" sUence,"
many a forlorn wretch has been febnfined for
years in anguish and despair, calling down im
precations on the heads of his unjust oppressors,
or cursing them in silent bitterness of soul! —
The great donjon, or keep, is a square building,
with four turrets, one at each corner; it is sur
rounded by an inner moat, and its walls are of
an enormous substance. The stranger has to
pass through four strong doors before he arrives
at the first apartment : around are situated the
ceUs ofthe prisoners, into which there is.barely
sufficient light admitted through the narrow
and griUed casements, to distinguish night from
day. On the lowest floor are shewn two stone
seats, to which prisoners were formerly bound by

240
means of chams and rings of iron fastened into
the waUs, whilst undergoing the tortures and
barbarities they were condemned to suffer. A
favoured prisoner was permitted to walk on the
leads during a stated time in the day, accom
panied by his keeper, from whence he was en
abled to see the wood of Vincennes, the smaU
viUage of St. Mande, and again in the distance,
had a view of Paris itself, with her domes.
Pantheon, and other buildings, which overlook
the more humble edifices of the city ; a sight
which was sufficient, on a day like the one I
spent there, to make him forget his situation,
and the woe and sorrow associated with the
buUding on which he stood, tiU sad reaUty com
peUed him to return below, and contemplate
the melancholy prospect that awaited him, —
What heart-rending desolation must have been
his portion, who after the short hour had been
consumed above, inhaling the refreshing breeze
of heaven, was obliged again to descend to his
sohtary and gloomy cell, shut out from the
world, with no other companion than his own
melancholy reflections ! In the ceUs below, or
rather dungeons I should call them, are several
inscriptions on the walls, written by former in
mates of this gloomy abode, but now, on ac
count of the damp and darkness of the place,
are rendered nearly Ulegible.

241
There are instances upon record, where in
dividuals have been immured in this detestable
spot, for the space of twenty, or even thirty
years, by means of the lettres de cachet: the
celebrated Latude was imprisoned for a longer
period, through the influence of Madame Pom
padour, whom he had slightly offended. The
Prince de Conde, the Abbe Fresnoy, Mirabeau,
and Diderot, were at one period incarcerated
here. The greiv "t secrecy was invariably
maintained : even the--very physician and con
fessor, who attended the captives, were inmates
of the prison. Numberless individuals were
hurried to this spot, torn from the bosom of
their famiUes at the dead of night, and were
heard of no more. Here is shewn the ditch
in which the Due d'Enghien was murdered, at
least so say some of the EngUsh, and all the ene
mies of Napoleon. The French themselves al
low that the Duke was engaged in the plots
carrying on previous to his death, and blame
the violence and precipitancy only with whicii
Bonaparte's object was carried into effect:
his body was removed from the fosse, and buried
with great ceremony at Saint Denis. The
Duke was shot on the very place where bis an
cestors had formerly caused so many victims to
suffer, and it appears as though there were

242
something like retribution, both in the circum
stances and place of his death.
A rare instance of animal sagacity and at
tachment is recorded concerning a dog belong
ing to a military officer who was formerly con
fined here : this faithful creature, after several
unsuccessful attempts to gain admission, having
attracted the notice of an under jaUer, was,
through his contrivance, aUowed to enter daUy
at a certain hour, when he immediately ran up
to the grating of the cell in which his master was
confined. Such was his constant practice for four
years, whilst the prisoner's famUy in the mean
time, were totally unacquainted with his fate. —
Some time afterwards the officer regained his
liberty, and returned home, where he died: the
dog took his diurnal station as usual at the grat
ing, and gazed for hours at the window, sobbing
and moaning in vain : in a few weeks he pined
away, and was found dead at his old station !
On the chateau are mounted several heavy
pieces of cannon, by means of which the ad
vance of the allied armies against Paris on that
side, in 1814, was impeded, until the articles of
capitulation were regularly drawn up and sign
ed. I quitted this " twin brother of the Bastile,"
with no reluctance, and felt a sort of inward
pleasure when I gained the high road, and pur-

243
sued my route homewards, ruminating on the
strange picture I had witnessed, and wondering
that man, amid a scene of such beauty, variety,
and luxuriance, should thus erect a monument
of his wickedness and crimes, in the very face
of nature, to perpetuate the hideous deformity
of his iniquities.

CHAPTER XX.

Shortly after my excursion to Vincennes, I
received an elegant note, highly perfumed a la
vanille, enclosing an embossed green card, with
the name of Madame de Launay engraved there
on, addressed to " Milord C — ," and couched
in the following terms, " Milord, Voulez vous
me faire I'honneur de votre societe ce soir,
je vous assure, que j'ai quelquechose tres curi-
euse a vous montrer." — I was not aware from
whom this epistle came, yet being determined
to see the result, I repaired at the stated time,
to the house of my fair inconnue, according to
the address on the card. I was ushered by a
servant in Uvery, who announced me as " MUord
C  ." into a spacious and weU lighted saloon,
x2

244
where card tables were laid out, each surrounded
by persons engaged at play : Madame received
me politely, and introduced me to the Marquis
de la Sabliere, one or two counts, and several
ladies, who, as I judged by their appearance,
belonged to the same order as herself: I was
immediately engaged at Boston, and in a short
time won some few pieces ; we then partook of
an elegant supper, and concluded the evening
with dancing. Before my departure, Madame
called me on one side, and informing me of the
great regard she had conceived for me, begged
I would do her the favour to visit her soirees,
whenever I felt inclined : after the kind treat
ment I had experienced, I could not refuse her
request, and promised that if my company was
any acquisition to her circle, I should always be
most proud to obey her commands.
The next day I mentioned my adventure to
my landlord, who, no way surprised at my for
tunate debut, informed me that the pretend
ed titles of my new acquaintances, the Marquis
and the Counts, were entirely false; a mere
flam to dupe the unwary ; that the lady who
gave the entertainment, eventually plucked her
pigeons, through the assistance of her worthy
coadjutors, if by any means she could entrap
them in her snares ; and although she might

245
aUow her friends, at first, to pocket a Uttie
cash, yet would spare no method in the end,
however vUe or miquitous, to strip them of all
they possessed. After these gentie hints, of
course I declined all further communication in
that quarter, and consoled myself with the idea,
whUst rattling the gains of the preceding even
ing in my pocket, that perhaps money was a
better friend than Madame de Launay : what
was the " quelquechose tres curieuse," I never
could divine, and the perfumed billets, of which
I afterwards received not a few from the same
individual, were carelessly perused, and placed
on the mantel-piece as a memento of the dan
ger I had escaped.
In my peregrinations about the city, I was in
duced to visit the Bourse, or Tribunal de Com
merce, This building is incontestably the finest
monument of the kind in the world, and is the
full size of the Parthenon at Athens. A row
of plain pillars adorns the front, with capitals
neither of the Doric, Corinthian, nor Ionic
order, but according to the Parisians, " in the
very best French style." This idea is somewhat
simUar to that of the friar, who, when asked in
what order his monastery was built, replied,
" In the order of St, Dominic." In the interior
of this beautiful specimen of modern architec-
x3

246
ture, are several chambers allotted to various
purposes, and in the centre is a splendid hall
paved with marble, and surrounded by a light
gallery : the ceiling is partially in the shape of
a dome, and is ornamented with four paintings
in fresco, emblematic of the different quarters
of the world : they are executed in the most
masterly style, and have the peculiar effect of
works of this description, in a most vivid and
striking manner. Descending the flight of
steps by which the Bourse is approached, I was
accosted by an EngUshman, accompanied by
his wife and daughter, who wished to be
directed to the Palais Royal : having given
them the information they desired, I accom-
nied the trio to the Passage Vivienne, which
we entered in order to shelter ourselves from
the rain.
As the object of my worthy compatriot was
to purchase some bijouterie for his wife and
daughter, he entered the first jeweUer's shop
that presented itself, and the young lady was
put forward as principal negociator, from the
circumstance of having received lessons in
French at some " seminary" in the neighbour
hood of London, Papa lugged out several five
franc pieces from a canvass sack, and placing
them on the counter with a true John Bullish

247
growl, paid for the trinkets his spouse had cho
sen, and requested me to conduct him as far as
the Palais, if it would not be an inconvenience.
As we were proceeding thither, the words " Ca
binets d'aisance inodores," conspicuously paint
ed on an enormous glass lamp, (so frequently to
be seen in this poUte metropolis,) struck the eye
of the elder lady, who turning to her daughter,
inquired an explanation : Miss seemed at a loss,
but asserted stoutly that " Cabinets" must mean
cabinets : Papa said he was aware of that, but
the word " inodores" puzzled him; this was too
much : a fiacre, sent by the saint no doubt, pas
sed at the instant, and as I was in momentary
apprehension of being appealed to, I bolted
across the street, and screened by the vehicle,
made my escape, leaving Papa, Mamma, and
the boarding school Miss, to settle the significa
tion of those mysterious words in the best man
ner they were able.
Horse racing in France, or at least near Paris,
is almost entirely in the hands of the English :
a certain Lord S, and a French colonel, are the
principal patrons of the turf, not to forget an old
college friend of mine, who always had a great
desire to appear " varmint :" this individual
(having by mistake written another man's name
to a small piece of paper instead of his own,) re-

248
tired to France "to queer the flats." On what
a thread the fortune of some men depends : this
individual married a "baronne;" he is a baron
himself in right of his wife, and has purchased
a riband from the Pope : he possesses an estate
in Champagne, grows his own wines, and in con
junction with the two before mentioned, has his
private matches in the Bois de Boulogne. In
most of these trials of speed the EngUsh are
successful : English jockies ride for all parties,
and from this circumstance, it is natural to draw
but one inference. The horse racing which is
bond fide French, has something extremely gro
tesque about it, and merely seems a travestie
upon the true English sport of that nature. The
place singled out for the annual exhibition in
Paris, is the Champ de Mars, stupidly named,
and more stupidly chosen in contemptible imita
tion of the Campus Martins of the Romans : it
is wholly unfit for the purpose to which it is ap
propriated, and instead of a smooth springy
turf of a Newmarket, presents a deep bed of
sand, through which the noble animals flounder
along in a shuffling canter, fretting, and discour
aged by the difficulties they have to contend
against in the course. Here are no ragged tail
ed urchins bawling out "names, weights, and co
lours of the riders," no fair ladies crying out

249
"done" and "done," with "gentlemen of the turf,"
nothing to afford the customary English zest to
such a meeting : the vacant visages of the gap
ing crowd manifest no interest, and in short the
whole nation, from the prize-giving Duchesse de
Berri, down to the would-be English, French
jockey, displays neither taste nor relish for such
disports. The most agreeable part ofthe amuse
ment which I witnessed at this place, was to ob
serve the varmint demeanour, and noscence of
the jocks of my own country, as they cantered
their nags previous to the start : their knowing
winks appeared to indicate that the previous
contract would be adhered to, in order to " let
the spooneys well hi for it," and the self com
placency observable in their looks, seemed to
hint, that each was able to " give dribblers the
go by."
The Bois de Boulogne is not far distant from
the Champ de Mars, and is the Hyde Park of
the French ; it is a favourite drive ofthe Parisian
muscadins, and being a ^e<«Y pas from the Ca
pital, is within reach of the monde and too far
distant to be troubled by the canaille. The^^ap-
proach is through an elegant iron gate, with a
Cafe on each side, simUar to the lodges of Eng
Ush gentry ; but the " ingens gloria" has passed
away and become a mere fuit, insomuch that the

250
Bois of the present day,wUl bear no comparison
with that of twenty years gone by. The beau
tiful trees which once adorned this spot, and af
forded a pleasant retreat, were cut down and
destroyed by those " barbarians of the North,"
who encamped here when Paris surrendered to
the aUied armies, and the
" multos incasdua sylva per annos,"
was rudely violated, and the deity of the place
ejected vi et armis by the marauders. The
trees however now begin to shoot up again, and
put forth the incipient appearance of a wood.
Many a gay and lightsome hour have I enjoyed
here, and many a time and oft have I returned
home, overcome by fatigue after joining in the
simple fete, to dream of lamps, moonlight, and
pretty ancles.
One evening, I had been paying my devoirs
to a handsome girl, whom chance threw into my
way as a partner, and charmed with her beha
viour, I requested permission to protect her from
ill treatment on her way homewards. Scarcely
had I made and end of my gallant speech, when
the husband who had overheard me, stepped
up, and poUtely thanking me for my kind inten
tion, begged I would do him the favour to take
a petit verre mth him : we entered a Cafe for

251
the purpose, when on a sudden Monsieur le bon
mari burst into a most ungovernable fury, and
seizing a shoeing horn that chanced to be near,
he placed it significantly on his forehead, and
swore most vehemently, that his wife should
never dance again, nay, should never more be
present at a fete : this, on the banks of the Seine,
and in sight too of Paris ! however I was unwil
ling to hazard a word by way of an emollient :
" c'est une femme adorable," added he, " mais
toi, tu es" — and he placed the arm of his wife with
in his own, and vanished. Abiit, evasit, excessit,
erupit, I exclaimed with Cicero, as his steps be
came fainter, and turning round, was accosted
by the garfon, "dix sous. Monsieur, s'U vous
plait, pour deux petits verres d'eau de vie ;" I
paid the ten sous, and malgre my vexation,
could not help admiring the fellow's finesse, who
had so cleverly done me out of the brandy.
Frequent duels take place within the precincts
ofthe Bois de Boulogne, and the assassinations
that often occur in its dark allees, despite of
poUce, gardes de chasse, &c. render it ex
tremely dangerous, and one of the last plafes
near Paris that ought to be selected for a moon
light ramble. On a fete night, it is more secure,
but even then it is advisable not to stray too
far from lamp-Ught and good company.

252
I now generally breakfasted at the Cafe Hardy,
and dined at the Cafe de Paris ; I Ukewise took
my ice atTortoni's, and visited the Cafe d'Idalie.
This last mentioned place is a celebrated resort
of courtezans, as the name suggests : ten sous
are demanded for a ticket of admission, which
the visiter is allowed to consume in beer, coffee,
brandy, or any other article of this description.
It is situated underneath the Passage d'horloge
de rOpera, and is superbly fitted up with large
mirrors, statuary, and tapestry ; it has likewise
two or three biUiard tables, and its bal pare once
a month. The most splendid coffee house how
ever, in the French metropolis, since the Cafe
des milles colonnes in the Palais Royal has been
converted into a gaming house, is the Cafe Col"
bert. Passage Colbert ; it is beautifully decorat
ed, and a handsome young girl presides at the
comptoir, who is so excessively delicate as to
wash her fingers in a vase of rose-water, after
they have been defiled by the touch of money,
which she receives through the medium of the
jjaitejs,. but as an equivalent for this little bit of
over-refinement, every thing is remarkably good,
and tolerably cheap ; the brandy punch is un
impeachable, and the liqueurs, are liqueurs par
excellence. In truth every little Cafe in Paris,
has aje ne sais quoi about it, an air distingue.

253
very much unUke the taverns of our own
country: the neat tables, with their clean
marble slabs invite the lounger en passant, and
the rattUng of the biUiard baUs serves as an al
lurement to whUe away a heavy hour, not
to mention the dapper little boards covered
with green cloth, and the cards for the petite
partie, nor the dominos and bread crumbs,
which every one knows are to be had within,
by asking for. The Cafe et Estaminet du
Cadran d'Or, situated on the Boulevards des
Italiens, ranks first as a house of this descrip
tion in Paris. The pipes are tres fines, and the
coffee magnifique. The decorations, the doors,
and the walls, which are covered with looking-
glass, and the handsome balcony in front, ren
der it unique. The good sense of the Paris
ians has overcome that false delicacy so preva
lent in our own country : a stranger upon enter
ing a saloon at a restaurant, would be perfectly
astonished to behold numbers of both sexes,
apparently as much at ease as though each
party were entirely by themselves : but let him
recoUect that it is the custom ofthe country, and
that each individual probably dines as comfort
ably here, as at home, and perhaps at a less ex
pense : for instance, there are several restaura
teurs in the Palais Royal who feed their cus-

254
tomers at two francs, or one shilling and eight
pence par t&te : for this they have respectively,
soup, fish, and three plates of meat, which they
may select at their option, out of the three
hundred dishes mentioned on the carte ; 'tis
true the French have 685 ways of dressing
eggs, whilst we have as many forms of religion,
and only two fish sauces, yet a dish is a dish
" for a' that :" in addition to the above, bread
is provided for the guests, a dessert and half a
bottle of wine each ; the garcon expects a few
sous, and the whole expence of a dinner wUl be
somewhat less than two shillings. What fasti
diousness it would be in a lady to refuse aU
this through a mistaken feeling ; in Paris such
a phoenix would be considered as a " vrai mon-
stre :" most probably, however, there is some
thing behind the scenes : the good Parisians
are fond of economy, and such a contrivance
for treating a wife and famUy half yearly, or
private friends two or three times every week,
on the cheaps, is unexampled, and "flogs the
world." Amongst the churches of Paris, that of Notre
Dame stands pre-eminent for its beauty £uid
richness : Bonaparte contributed largely to its
embellishments, and many of the valuable paint
ings which adorn its walls, were presented by

255
the Emperor. The high altar, which is con
structed of white marble, and ornamented with
a bas relief of the interment of our Saviour, is
extremely beautiful; but to the faithful, the
treasures deposited in the sacristy, are not the
least interesting : a piece of the cross on which
the Redeemer suffered, and the identical crown
of thorns which was placed on his head, are
preserved with the most religious care. The
church of St, Genevieve, or as it is generally
termed the Pantheon, is far more striking in
outward appearance, than any place of the same
description in the capital, and is considered as
one of its most classical edifices. It is adorned
with a magnificent portico, and its interior is at
once vast and simple in its ordonnance. Na
poleon was at one time particularly anxious
that it should become a mausoleum for the
ashes of all the celebrated men in the empire,
but this design was abandoned, almost as soon
as formed. The vaults, which are few in num
ber, are situated underneath the body of the
church, and are to be seen in " darkness visible"
by means of grated casements placed mid-.way
in the enormous walls that inclose them. With
all the ideas of solemn grandeur attached to
these dreary mansions of the dead, they look
not half so inviting as a country church-yard,
y2

256
where the waving of the rank grass, and the
moanings of the " wind-god" through the trees,
hold out more inducement to become an in
mate, than the still silence of the former, inter
rupted now and then by the descent of casual
visitors, and the clapping of doors, which
through these subterranean chambers, gives
back a most awful reverberation. Amongst
other monuments in this place, is that of Voltaire,
but the entrance is closed, and a strip of paper
pasted on the door that leads to it. To this
place his heart was removed at the time of
the sale of his chateau to M. de Brudet,
the present proprietor : it was formerly inclosed
in an urn at Ferney, where a tomb was erected
to his memory by Madame Denis, with the
words inscribed on it, " Mes manes sont con-
solees, puisque mon cceur est au milieu de vous,"
and again on a black board across the centre of
the monument, " Son esprit est partout, et son
coeur est ici ;" this board however was broken
by the Austrians, and the tomb otherwise de
faced and mutUated. This great man as is well
known, was rather sceptical on some points, and
it is recorded of him, that when Pigalle was
sent from Paris to model his bust, he threw
such ludicrous contortions into his countenance,
that it was utterly impossible for the artist to

257
catch a true likeness. Pigalle was upon the
point of returning to Paris without being able
to accompUsh his design, when he gave it as his
opinion, whUst talking of the golden calf of
Aaron, that such a piece of workmanship could
not possibly have been completed within the time
stated : this idea so pleased Voltaire, that he
sat down quietly, whUst Pigalle completed his
model. In beauty and elegance however, the interior
ofthe church of St. Roch far excels the rest:
at the chancel end is the figure of our Saviour
expiring on the cross, which is seen with con
siderable effect from the principal entrance,
through an aperture in the mass of clouds sur
rounding the grand altar which intervenes, and
the mellow light poured in upon it from above,
affords an impressive and melancholy colouring
to the scene. Around are the twelve stations, as
they are termed, descriptive of the sufferings of
our Saviour : they commence with our Lord's
agony in the garden, and the last number re
presents his body being placed in the tomb.
This church possesses a splendid organ, whpse
deep peals impress the hearer with an idea of
grandeur and solemnity suitable to the stillness
of the place, especiaUy in the evening, when
accompanied by the deep toned voices of the

258
priests ; at such a time I have frequently re
mained in one of the recesses of a confessional,
listening with intense interest to the sacred
strains which would burst upon my ear; and
forgetful of every thing around, and totaUy
wrapt up in admiration, I would thus snatch a
moment of pure and heart-felt delight, regard
less of the vanity and turmoil of the city, in the
midst of which, this calm and solemn sUence
afforded a rare and fit opportunity for reflec
tion and meditation.

CHAPTER XXI.

During the course of my rambles in the vicin
ity of the French metropolis, when in a serious
vein, I would indulge myself in sauntering
through the burial ground of Pere la Chaise.
This celebrated cemetery forms one of the prin
cipal objects of curiosity near Paris, and affords
a pleasing diversity of character to the scene
around, by its neat white monuments and small
plantations. It was formerly the site of the
chateau and grounds of the Pere la chaise, the
Jesuit confessor of Louis Quatorze, and Ma-

259
dame de Maintenon, his mistress, who used to
visit the confessor there, as a Frenchman would
say, from motives of pure piety. The grounds
are laid out with the greatest nicety, and kept
in the most perfect order. Many of the tombs
of the better classes, have each a small chapel,
if it may so be caUed, erected within a neat little
hedge of box, or other dwarf shrub, and orna
mented in the interior with a crucifix, some arti
ficial flowers, and often with those articles which
have been highly prized by the individual who
sleeps beneath. Hither the friends of the de
ceased repair frequently, and offer up their
prayers in solitary devotion. The burial places
of the lower orders have no memorial, save a
wooden cross painted black, which is adorned
with a few chaplets of " everlasting," and some
times with large tears, represented by patches
of white paint, which not unfrequently bear the
closest resemblance to that disgusting little rep
tile, a tadpole. Chaplet-making forms a sepa
rate branch of business, and the manufacturers
who live near the entrance to the grounds, gain
a subsistence by selling articles of this desciyp-
tion to those who may desire to pay some re
spect to the memory of departed friends. This
custom reminded me of an offer once made to
me by an old woman in the church of Notre

260
Dame ; videlicet, to burn any quantity of can
dles for the benefit of my deceased relations,
no matter where, when, or how they died, in
consideration of the smaU sum of one franc per
pound, tot. quot.
Numerous English have been interred here,
which circumstance perhaps, contributes to
heighten the interest of the place in the
eyes of my countrymen, already rendered so
distingue by the names of those illustrious indi
viduals whose ashes it contains. Amongst the
numerous monuments, none is entitled to such
praise, and worthy of such attention, on account
of beauty of design, antiquity, and singu
larity, as the far famed tomb of Abelard and
Heloise. The story of these unfortunate and
misguided lovers, is well known : and it is im
possible whilst gazing on the monument raised
to their memory, to be unmoved at the surpris
ing afflictions and persecutions which befel a
man of Abelard's fine genius, owing to the ma
lice of his enemies, whilst at the same time we
sympathize in the feelings of his unhappy wife,
whose calamities arose from the unrestrained
indulgence of a criminal passion and unwarrant
able pleasures. This monument is particularly
remarkable for its lightness, and delicacy of
sculpture : the stone work is raised nearly

261
breast high from the ground, on which reclme
two figures with uplifted hands in attitude of
prayer: the upper part, than which nothing
can be more delicate, is composed of the
ruins of the chapel of the Paraclete, and is
supported by slender pUlars which appear of
strength exactly suitable to uphold the elegant
stone canopy which surmounts the whole. —
Hitherto this piece of architecture has received
no other injury than such as the rain and wind,
heat and cold, have made upon it, and even
these have contributed to render it more inter
esting: what reason else, then, can be assigned
for its preservation to the present day, but that
the savage and saint have been equally awed
by its superlative beauty ? The Cossaques and
Austrians bivouac d here, and fortified them
selves within the walls that inclose the cemetery,
destroying or adapting every thing around to
their own particular use, whilst this ancient
monument remained amidst all tumult and dis
order, untouched and unhurt. A little garden
is formed around it, which is inclosed by a rail
ing, and its extreme neatness, joined with t^e
attention bestowed upon the outward appear
ance of the monument, and the story connected
with it, render the whole an object of pecuUar
interest and admiration.

262
But to have done with sad subjects — It hap
pened that one day I received an invitation from
the Baron d'A — , to meet a few English friendsj
and partake of a dinner ci V Anglaise, at a res
taurant, in the Rue Mont Blanc : our meal
passed off very agreeably untU the plum pud
ding became due, which the Baron had pro
mised us as a bonne bouche: we had dispensed
with the fish, soup, and rosbif, and the game
was on the table, but stiU no pudding made its
appearance : after the usual jokes, ' why is your
face like a good dinner?' — 'because it's ordi
nary,' &c. had passed round, the gar9on entered
vrith a large tureen, which he placed opposite
our host: " I say," cried one ofthe party, who
was no great proficient in French, " ou est
the plum pudding," " mais le plum boudin,"
roared the Baron, " voUa Monsieur," repUed
the gar9on, pointing to the soup tureen:
" c' est bon, c' est bon," responded the whole
party, and the cover was removed; when lo!
instead of a good solid pudding, there appeared
about one gallon and a half, imperial measure,
oi plum pudding broth! The Maitre d'Hotel
was instantly summoned, and the mistake
inquired into, when it appeared that the
chef de cuisine, being unable to mix the
ingredients in a proper manner, which the
Baron had written down the day before for

263
his instruction, bad taken the prescription to
the apothecary, by whom it was actually made
up, and afterwards exhibited to us in the form
of soup — the Baron had never mentioned the
cloth! The day after this boudin expose, being Sun
day, I was engaged to take a trip to Versailles
with my Irish friend, in order to see the waters
play. As we resolved to walk thither, and
ride back again, we set out rather early in the
morning, to avoid the heat of the day, and
proceeded leisurely along, fortifying ourselves
with copious draughts of lemonade and brandy,
against the morning air, and occasionally enjoy
ing a fragrant whiff of good Dutch tobacco,
with which we were provided, at some little
auberge on the road side, which would allur
ingly invite us with, " Bonne double biere de
Mars," or something similarly attractive, written
in conspicuous characters under a lady and
cavalier, who figured away in blue and pink attire,
apparently quaffing tumbler bumpers of the
precious liquor. The road to Versailles is by
no means the least agreeable in the vicinity of
Paris : it extends for a considerable way along
the banks of the Seine, and presents an unceas
ing variety of beautiful situations, which are
occupied by elegant chateaux. We passed

264
through St. Cloud, and Sevres, celebrated for
its manufactory of porcelain, and arrived at the
place of our destination, fair prototypes, in
countenance at least, of the god to whom we
had so liberally sacrificed.
I was never more disappointed, nor more in
clined to be out of humour with every thing
around me, than when I beheld this celebrated
little town for the first time. It appeared so
deserted, so gloomy and melancholy, with rank
and long grass luxuriating in the midst of its
spacious streets and courts, that the entire place
impressed me with the idea of a town depopu
lated by the plague, or some other equally
hideous calamity, rather than a gay place of
resort and Sunday amusement. It had the
appearance of a town of former ages, of a time
gone by, and seemed as though it had been
buried for several centuries, and was now once
more brought to light. This spot, though situ
ated on an eminence, its soil light and sandy,
has nevertheless been rendered by Louis Qua
torze the most celebrated place in Europe for its
water-works, and that monarch himself could
not possibly have been more deUghted with
these expensive playthings than the Parisians
are to this day. Unfortunately les eaux did
not play whilst we were there, which was a
source of considerable mortification.

265
Having procured a guide, we entered the
gardens, and lounged on the stately terraces,
where we had ample leisure to ruminate on the
folly and heedless extravagance of the monarch
for whose gratification all around had been con
structed. We afterwards proceeded to the
grand trianon, which consists of various suits
of apartments all situated on the ground floor,
and conveniently arranged: it has two wings
which are terminated by pavilions, united by a
colonnade. This place was built by Mansard,
the favourite architect of Louis Quatorze. —
From thence our ramble extended to the petit
trianon, celebrated as having been the favourite
retreat of the unfortunate Marie Antoinette,
and afterwards to the marble baths. These
baths consist of an artificial grotto and rock,
where Louis Quatorze is sculptured as Apollo,
attended by several nymphs or muses, each re
presenting one of his favourite mistresses, and
executed by the famous Girardon. These
figures, from the springy and elastic look of Umb
which they possess, must have proved a striking
contrast to the enfeebled and imbecU monarcl^
when wheeled about his magnificent gardens,
like a leathern-visaged invalid, to enjoy the
benefit of the air! The gardens and parks
connected with the palace exceed five miles in

266
circumference. The palace itself however, has
more the appearence of a collection of fine
buUdings than one vast edifice, and is greatly
deficient in unity. It is entirely destitute of
furniture, and the only decorations of the in
terior are the gilt cornices, and the ceilings
painted by Le Brun, together with a few pic
tures by Paul Veronese and others. The whole
has the appearance of the ghost of human
grandeur, when the tall footman in his gorgeous
livery, bawls out as you enter the different
apartments, which once gUttered with regal
splendour, " salon de Mars ! salon de Venus !
or salon d'ApoUon!" and is only answered by
the echo of his own voice.
The grand gaUery is by far the most splendid
apartment in the palace : it extends to the length
of two hundred and twenty feet, and is lighted
by seventeen large windows. The roof is richly
ornamented with paintings, where Louis Quat
orze is represented as Jupiter grasping a thun
derbolt, whilst several of his mistresses are again
exhibited under the appearance of Juno, Venus,
and a long list of goddesses, which the crick
in my neck, occasioned by looking upwards for
a length of time, precluded me fi-om observing
with that go4t which otherwise I might have
done. Quitting the gallery, the stair-case

267
was pointed out to us which the mob as
cended with the cruel intention of murdermg
the Queen on the fifth of October, 1789, and
over the principal gateway, in the front, we
likewise saw the balcony where Louis Seize,
accompanied by his family, appeared before the
infuriate populace, who dragged him in savage
triumph to his capital. Leaving these sights,
which conjured up such melancholy reflections,
we passed through the dreary solitude of the
spacious courts, and once more emerged into
the street.
After recruiting ourselves with an omelette
and a glass of wine, at the Soleil d' Or, we pre
pared to return to Paris, and made choice of a
small species of voiture, which the French in
their politeness term a pot de chambre; this
kind of vehicle resembles a double cabriolet,
and is capable of containing from six to ten per
sons, including the one who rides en lapin by the
side of the driver. Our Jehu was a little sallow
looking fellow, the lobes of whose ears were
distended by a huge pair of rings, whUst two
gorse bushes of whiskers adorned his cheek|:
he was dressed in a short jacket and striped in
effables, (for they were too short to come under
the denomination of pantaloons,) and his head
was defended by means of a rabbit-skin cap,
z2

268
which agreed exactly with the colour of his
hair, and gave him the appearance of a walking
mop. When we had bargained as to the fare,
and found that he only demanded about one-
third more than the usual rate, we mounted his
sorry carriage, and waited for a petit quart
d'heure, whilst he arranged the trappings of
his horse, and cracked his whip in the air as an
intimation of departure. No traveUers however
seemed willing to avaU themselves of the oppor
tunity, tUl an elderly gentleman, with his hat
under his arm, thrust his head, which shone
Uke the egg of an ostrich, into the mouth of our
vehicle, and begged leave to ride with us: of
course such a request could not meet with a re
fusal, and we finally set off, not without having
shewn most unequivocal symptoms of a wish to
depart, by creeping over the range of empty
benches from the corner in which we had snugly
ensconced ourselves, towards the entrance of
this said machine, whose namesake is oftener
beheld in dormitories than drawing rooms, in
order to look out for another conveyance. —
" Attendez un petit moment," cried the propri-
etaire of our utensil, pulUng up, ' ' Messieurs,
je suis a votre service dans un instant," when
he disappeared for a short time, and return
ed smoking a little pipe, " black as winter

269
chimney," and about three inches long, with aU
the gout of a turk : " me voici," he exclaimed,
and seizing hold of the reins, after the ebullition
of a few sacres, and aie doncs, we were once
more en route. We came merrily along, listen
ing to the jingling of the bells on the horse's
collar, and the eulogies and lies our cocher in
vented and bestowed upon his miserable hack,
which he assured us was a vrai cheval Anglais,
and had frequently gained the prize in the
champ de Mars, before he came into his pos
session. How far true this latter assertion
might have been, I knew not, but from the ap
pearance of the animal, which agreed in every
point with the description of Rosinante, I was
very much inclined to doubt the veracity of the
statement; and probably we should have dis
covered that this famous English nag, would
have been obliged frequently to lie down,
as his numerous solicitations for kneeling
were most alarmingly apparent, had we not
halted at a small wine house on the road
where his master was accustomed to refresh
himself. This auberge was ornamented with a full
length portrait of St. Pierre: the walls were
decorated with a multitude of inconsistencies,
whilst a bush suspended from a pole out of one
z3

270
of the upper windows, indicated that wine was
to be had within : this appeared a bad omen,
and one that did not weU accord with the " bon
vin qui ne faut pas d' enseigne." The remnants
of a tattered virgin smirked in a " hole in the
wall," shining in all the splendour of dust, rain,
and dirt combined, whUst St. Peter was painted
on a board, and with his formidable beard, re
sembled the Grand Turk rather than the cha
racter he was intended to represent. Above
all appeared the words, " Salon de Gaiete." —
These associations however, although so Uttle
in unison, and so mal-a-propos, appear connect
ed, when compared with the non sequitur noticed
by a Russian traveUer in Switzerland, where he
saw painted on the outside of a smaU tavern,
" Put your trust in God, for this house is caUed
the Black Sow," Many absurdities of the same
nature as the foregoing, are to be met with in
different parts of France, but the sign of the
Virgin seems to be an especial favourite. We
remained for a considerable time at the St.
Pierre, and plied our Damasippus so forcibly
with wine, at " quinze sous le litre," and eau
de vie, that he was totally incapacitated from
resuming his office. In this dilemma, he was
placed like a sack of wool into the farthest end
of the vehicle, and my friend undertook to

271
drive us home, or rather to hold the reins untU
the " faraeux cheval," should have instinctively
found his way to his master's residence.
On our road homewards, after leaving the
abode of the proprietaire de coucou, we called
on Colonel L — , and after taking some refresh
ment with him, proceeded to the Boulevards
for a stroll. The colonel was a most eccentric
character : he bore a mortal antipathy to all
Frenchmen, and according to his own account,
merely remained in France to enjoy his coffee,
and the society of the French ladies : he had
frequently made his appearance before the Pre-
fet of the arrondissement in which he lived, at
the suit of different persons whom he had an
noyed by every possible means he could devise,
as they passed under his windows, but had
hitherto " come off" with flying colours, owing
to his portier, who invariably swore that Mon
sieur le Colonel, could never be guilty of the
acts imputed to him. However, despite the
pointblank swearing of the portier, he was not
always destined to be so fortunate. The ca
briolets, as is usual on some parts of the Bou
levards, were in a line close to the footpath,
and the drivers being invisible, the Colonel pro
posed that we should cut the reins, and steal
the lamps. The reins accordingly were quickly

272
sundered by no very poetical tmesis, and the
splendour of the flickering lamps as quickly ex
tinguished. Our Irish friend was deputed to
carry the latter articles in a silk pocket band-
kerchief, but the rancid oU beginning to trickle
through, and offend his delicacy, he was pre
paring to place the trophies of his valour at the
foot of a tree, " when, whack ! Sir Thomas hit
him on the jowls," and he staggered half across
the way : a cry was raised immediately by at
least a dozen of these fellows who had observed
our motions, " aux voleurs, aux voleurs," and
in less than two minutes we were surrounded
and taken to the station of the corps de garde,
where we were locked up for the night. The
next morning when brought before the prefet,
the Colonel endeavoured to impress him with
the idea, that the English had a species of " dry
humour" in their nature, which the French did
not fully comprehend, and that we had not the
sUghtest intention of committing robbery; all
his eloquence however was vain : the cab men
stated positively that we had laid up a pUe of
lamps ready to carry off, when they pounced
upon us, and that it was evident we meant to
steal them. Notwithstanding this accusation, we
were set at liberty upon paying the sum of fifty
francs, and I went home with a thousand stern

273
resolutions never again to join in a dry humour
ous party, and the laudable idea of applying
some half dozen leeches to my eyes. The Irish
man lost his hat and mouchoir in the scuffle,
and the Colonel was minus the major part of
his miUtary surtout.
The numerous theatres in Paris afford an in
finite variety of amusement to a person who is
fond of dramatic entertainments. The gay and
serious, the thoughtful and thoughtless may
easUy suit their different inclinations, from the
solemn tragedy of the Theatre Fran9ais, the
opera of the theatre Italien, or Academic Roy-
ale de Musique, to the farces and vaudevilles of
the Noveautes, or Theatre des Varietes. These
places of amusement are much better regulated
than those in England of the same description ;
every thing is under the superintendence of the
police and gendarmerie, even in the interior,
and although this " military despotism" may
not accord with the liberal feelings of an Eng
lishman, yet the advantages which arise from it
are manifest. No disturbances are permitted
in the house, or if any take place, the offerfders
are immediately secured: the confusion Uke
wise so commonly prevalent with us on the out
side, is entirely obviated. Gens d'armes on
horseback direct the route and precedence of
the carriages, whilst officers on foot marshal

274
the more humble visiters three or four abreast,
according to the order m which they may have
arrived, and not unfrequently for a full hour
before the doors are opened, a long string of
" play-goers" may be seen waiting patiently
en queue. One excellent regulation of the
French playhouses is, that no females are al
lowed to enter the pit, and an hour or two may
be spent here very agreeably after dining in
private, without the inconvenience of adonizing.
Stars of the first magnitude are generally en
gaged to warble at the Theatre ItaUen, unless
an English play is to be performed, when num-
of the Parisians generaUy attend, each with a
French translation of the piece, and laugh or
look serious as occasion may require, when they
have read and comprehended in their own lan
guage, the words last uttered on the stage.
The Theatre des Varietes is without doubt the
most amusing in Paris, though perhaps not the
most fashionable ; but the comic effects of the
performancees depend in a great measure on
localities, or Uttle occurrences of the day, which
together with the idioms and turns of expres
sion used in dialogue, cannot be as keenly
relished by foreigners as they merit, and on this
account most probably, this theatre is not so
much sought after.
The Academic Royale de Musique, or more

275
properly speaking, " la danse," is considered by
the French as a place of entertainment which
should by no means be overlooked by a stranger :
the dancmg certainly cannot be surpassed, and
in this art, all that is talented and admirable is
here concentrated : it is the forte of the " Gran
de Nation," and government spares no expense
in bringuig up, and instructing the youth of
both sexes, for the service of this establishment,
who, after " tripping it" for five and twenty
years, retire on a pension proportionate to the
attainments they have acquired.
Having procured a ticket for the balcon at
the grand opera one evening, I was introduced
by Mademoiselle Jenneveaux, though contrary
to aU regulations, behind the scenes : here I
met the pages of the Due de Vendome, who
appeared even to greater advantage in their be
coming costume, than they otherwise would have
done as figurantes and coryphees. When the
baUet was ended, and my patronne had ex
changed her dress for one more suitable to
her sex, we proceeded to her apartments,
which were fitted up in a most handsome ^tyle :
a harp and piano, a pendule on the mantel
piece, flanked by two gilt vases and other
ornaments, with ottomans, couches, and all the
et caetera of a French drawing room, decorated

276
her petit salon, whUst an elegant carpet, that
article so rarely to be met with even at the first
houses in Paris, and a good fire, in a grate a
I'Anglaise, completed its inviting appearance.
We sat down to a light supper tete a tete, and
were busUy engaged in conversation, when sud
denly a smart rap at the outward door dispeUed
all pleasing Ulusion : " eh Mon Dieu," exclaim
ed Jenneveaux, "c'est mon ami, c'est Monsieur
B — ," and opening the bed room door, she shut
me up in a closet, where " I was never less alone
than when alone," amongst robes, jupons, and
camisolles. Here I remained some three quar
ters of an hour, " cAm sudor ad imos
Manaret talos,"
until Monsieur thought fit to depart. When I
was liberated from my prison, Jenneveaux in
formed me that her entreteneur was inclined to
be particularly angry, at the sight of a second
convert laid on the table, but when inform
ed that these preparations were for himself
alone, he appeared satisfied. Monsieur B — 's
appetite must have been rather keen, for he
demolished an omelette, a dish of cold haricots
blancs, and a small portion of epinards au na-
turel : thus instead of enjoying myself in the

277
manner I had expected, I lost my supper whilst
imprisoned as aforesaid. Mademoiselle was
fearful that B — would return, and I had only
one alternative left : the compUments of " bon
soir Ma'amselle," and " bonne nuit Monsieur,"
were interchanged, and I trudged home, wishing
Monsieur B — at that place which the preach
er deemed inconsistent to mention to ears polite.

CHAPTER XXII.

In France the wisdom of ministers has devised
an expedient which acts in a certain manner as
a safety valve for venting popular discontent,
and enriching, in no triffing degree, the coffers
of her treasury : indeed there seemed a neces
sity for something of this nature, in a country
not over well disposed towards certain powers
that were, as a sort of equivalent to " cleanse
the foul bosom of that perilous stuff which
weighs upon the heart." I allude to the lottery :
every body plays, but none care that the fact
should be known : the greatest facility is afford
ed to those who are desirous of making an ad-
2a

278
venture in this species of gambUng ; the " bu
reaux de la loterie" are so numerous, that few
streets are without them. I have known old
dowagers and devotees, who though they never
heard the rouge et noir table mentioned without
turning up their eyes and rapping out an oatb,
or an exclamation " idem sonans," sufficiently
indicative of their abhorrence of gaming, would
nevertheless join in an innocent round at "blind
hookey" on a Sunday, or play to a large amount
in the lottery, " on the sly." My friend Colone*
L — of humourous memory, was a complete lot
tery slave ; he would prolong his vigUs untU a
late hour, calculating and endeavouring to estab
lish some groundwork in that elaborate delu
sion, the doctrine of chances. He was in the
habit of buying certain SybUline leaves which
are regularly published in Paris, with aU the
signs of the Zodiac, and whatever is, or is not,
upon earth, above it, or beneath, engraved
thereon : these horoscopes set forth the num
bers most likely to be drawn during certain
months, and explain, provided the purchaser
can understand, all the secret ramifications of
the art of winning : over these stupid documents
he would pore until the perspiration streamed
down his face ; and if he could make paraUels,
birds, monsters, figures, and planets agree.

279
after three or four hours of hard labour, he would
then recompense himself with a bowl of punch
extra ; but should he so far miscarry as to be
unable to effect any agreement amongst the he
terogeneous mass he consulted, he would give
himself wholly to despair. A terne which he
had gained about two years previous to my ac
quaintance with him, was the cause of this
" lottery scheming," and although he won near
ly £1500 on that occasion, yet eventually he
was a considerable loser, as he had been in the
habit of playing weekly ever since, and had
never received the ghost of a centime from that
period. The lottery in France is drawn five times
every month. Out of ninety numbers, only five
are drawn, and the player is at liberty to select
any one, two, three, or four he may choose : if he
risks his money upon one number, or the ex-
trait, and it should prove successful, he gains
fifteen times the amount of his deposit ; if on
two, or the amhe, two hundred times ; on three,
or the terne, five thousand times ; and on four,
or the quaterne, 75,000 times the sum he has
staked. It is astonishing to what a pitch
this lottery mania is carried, especially among
the lower classes, who will not hesitate some
times to deprive themselves and families of a
2a2

280
meal, in order to " try their luck" in this favour
ite mode of speculation, and wiU empty the
miserable drainings of their purses in the hopes
of suddenly enriching themselves in the next
rotation of this wheel of fortune.
I heard a curious anecdote connected with
the lottery, concerning an orphan boy ten or
twelve years of age, who gained an enormous
sum, during the time it was aUowed to play on
five numbers to any amount: this boy Uved
with a marchand de vin, who kept a small ca
baret in an obscure part of the city, and was in
the habit of carrying out wine, and performing
other menial offices for his employer. It hap
pened one day, whUst going bis rounds to his
master's customers, that he found a louis d'or,
and unknown to any one, entered a lottery office,
and staked the whole solely on five numbers :
unfortunately for the lad however, the five num
bers which he had selected, were drawn at the
next tirage, and he won some milUons sterling!
When he arrived at the lottery office and de
manded his money, the bureau keeper informed
him that it would be unadvisable to pay such a
vast sum to a mere child, unless in the presence
of a friend, and that he had better bring some
relation with him, and a coach at the same time,
in order to convey it away. Upon this inform-

281
ation he went to his master, and explained
the matter to him, desiring that he would ac
company him, being the only friend he had in
the world. His employer readily promised
every assistance in his power, and sending him
into the cellar for some wine to drink a coup to
his good fortune, foUowed the unsuspecting lad,
and dashed out his brains with an axe : after
he had perpetrated this diabolical act, he search
ed the boy's pockets, and having obtained the
ticket, took it to the lottery office himself. Here
however a new difficulty arose : when he pre
sented the paper, and requested payment, the
bureau keeper again refused to advance the mo
ney, as the boy, the real owner of the ticket, was
not present. Two English gentlemen who were
in the office at the time, fancying that they per
ceived some traits of confusion in the man's coun
tenance, when questioned concerning the boy,
foUowed him home, and discovered him in the
cellar lamenting his folly and rashness over the
dead body ! The murderer was immediately
taken into custody, and suffered the punishment
due to his crime. »
To those who are warmed by a love of litera
ture, Paris holds forth great attractions in her
numerous libraries, which are open to the pub
Uc on certain days every week. I was frequent-
2a3

282
ly in the habit of spending an hour in the Bib»
liotheque du Roi, and was much gratified by the
sight it presented, and the continued novelty and
instruction it afforded. There are several apart
ments in this magnificent estabUshment ; one is
occupied by specimens of ancient armour and
warlike instruments, another by lamps, vases»
and domestic utensils, and a third is appro
priated to receive cabinets of medals, and antique
jewellery. Amongst other remarkable curiosi
ties, is preserved a sUver shield, which was
found at the bottom of the river Rhone, said to
have belonged to Scipio. The coUection of
"Tcs is truly astonishing; together with the
manuscripts, there are upwards of four hundred
thousand volumes. An ancient bath is likewise
shewn, which is made of porphyry, and is an ob
ject of great curiosity. This library is a place
of great resort for the Turks, who are often to
be seen engaged in the perusal of Oriental M. S.
sometimes in groups of five or six seated at the
tables arranged in the centre of the apartment.
Besides the Bibliotheque du Roi, the literary insti.
tutions and scientific collections in Paris are nu
merous, and formed upon the most liberal princi
ples. The library of St. Genevieve, that of
Monsieur, and the libraryof the city of Paris, are
equally accessible to the rich and to the poor.

283
Those likewise ofthe TuiUeries, Fontainbleau,
St. Cloud, and Rambouillet, may be seen by pro
curing the necessary documents for admission.
In company with two French ladies from
Tours, I visited the celebrated Jardin des
Plantes. This garden is of an oblong form,
extending about three quarters of a mUe in
length, and is laid out with great taste and
judgment, A variety of hot-houses, green
houses, and conservatories, contained those
plants which required a more genial climate
than that of France, and v/hich in their artifi
cial atmosphere seemed to flourish most luxuri
antly: a large pond was appropriated as the
receptacle for the aquatic plants, and was sup
pUed with water from the Seine, which flows
by the principal entrance. After examining
some choice botanical curiosities, we then pro
ceeded to the aviary. Here we observed birds
of all sizes, of every country, and of every
variety of plumage: amongst other numerous
species, was one of the golden eagle, which,
from long confinement perhaps, seemed to have
lost his fierceness, yet still his eye retaiped its
natural fire: birds of paradise, golden phea
sants, Balearic cranes, with crests on their
beads in the form of crowns, owls, vultures, and
condors, &c. are confined here, having changed

284
their "native forests, boundless deserts, and
trackless skies," for a narrow cage some few
feet in diameter. Quitting the aviary, we visited
the menagerie, and were astonished to see the
comfort and cleanliness with which the different
animals were accommodated. The dens appro
priated for the wild beasts contained a magnifi
cent collection of objects. Lions, male and
female, tigers, leopards, hyenas, and panthers,
of different ages and species, together with
wolves and others of the same class, are to b?
seen in their respective dens. Adjoining are
monkies, baboons, apes, and a number of smaller
animals. The tame quadrupeds are confined
in thatched sheds, and have the liberty of rang
ing through the small paddocks which surround
them. Here these animals seem to enjoy life
as much as if they were at perfect liberty on
the plains or mountains from which they had
been taken. Two little creatures we noticed in
particular, which were of the antelope tribe,
and had eyes like Mahomet's houris; these ani
mals, together with the various species of deer,
goats, and horned cattle, and one or two Ara
bian camels, constituted a singular and interest
ing picture. In one inclosure was the celebrated
giraffe, which was presented to Charles Dix by
the Pacha of Egypt : he was attended by two

285
black slaves, who accompanied him to France :
his height, as he stood with his head erect, was
sixteen feet, and it was amusing to see him nib
ble the leaves of the trees, as he sheltered him
self under them. In another inclosure was a
vast elephant, who was washing himself by
means of his trunk in a large pool of water, and
had the appearance of a giant hippopotamus.
Leaving the wUd beasts, we visited the mu
seum of anatomy, and of natural history. The
two most remarkable objects here, are the ske
letons of a giraffe, and of an enormous whale ;
the latter is supported by pillars in the open
air. The collection of minerals and curious
botanical plants is said to be very good, and the
specimens of comparative anatomy excellent. —
After we had satisfied our curiosity, we dined
at a neighbouring restaurant, and summoning a
fiacre, repaired to the Academic de Musique,
where we were abundantly gratified by a most
agreeable ballet of the amours of Mars and
Venus. The magnificence of the decorations,
and the propriety of the dresses of the actors,
gods, and goddesses, made a decided injpres-
sion on my mind ; every thing was in character,
from the limping gait of Vulcan, to the single
rolling eye of a Cyclops, When the principal
dancers made their appearance, and gave to the

286
most difficult exertions of the human frame, aU
the lightness and elegance of apparent ease, the
attention of the spectators was breathlessly
riveted upon them, and they excited unanimous
applause. No adequate idea can be formed by
a stranger, of the importance the French nation
attaches to spectacles, and especially to the
science of dancing; the striking contrast be
tween the strict attention and decorum of a
Parisian audience, and the want of propriety
and noisy disturbance of an English one, leaves
the latter at a considerable distance behind their
Gallic neighbours.
In my search for variety I entered the cele
brated gaming house in the Rue RicheUeu,
known by the name of " Frascati," which it took
from the tea gardens formerly estabUshed there.
This nest of vice is ofa superior class, and ranks
next to the Salon des Etrangers. Ladies of a
certain class are admitted here, who always
make their appearance in the evening in fuU
dress, and not unfrequently come in their car
riages. As I entered the principal salon, I was
actually surprised at the blaze of beauty and
jewels around : Venus, Fashion, and Plutus
seemed here conjointly to hold empire. The
table was crowded, and the sirens as tempting,
if not more so, than the rouleaux of gold and

287
heaps of bank notes, which were spread about
in every direction. It is a horrible sight to wit
ness the despair and heart gnawings indicated
by the workings of the countenance, in the face
of a man, but how much more so, to behold a
female, whose every thought is engrossed by
this one detestable pursuit, her bosom torn by
a thousand contending passions, and her fea
tures, otherwise fair as morning, overcast and
blackened by the demon of avarice, who has
taken possession of her soul ! Although I en
tered at the early hour of nine in the evening,
the play was in many instances exceedingly hea
vy, and numerous vollies of sacres, voleurs, and
assassins flew about in all directions. The de
corations of these apartments are much more
splendid than any of the same sort in the Palais
Royal, but the gaudy ornaments and panelled
mirrors formed a curious contrast with the smoky
and blackened ceiling above, and gave sad evi
dence of the nocturnal and unhallowed worship
at this shrine of Baal, which was prosecuted
through many a livelong night. The terraced
gardens which communicated with the principal
salon by means of folding glass doors, were fitted
up with arbours and couches for the repose of
the open-day gamblers, and the inner rooms
were furnished with sofas and ottomans, as hos-

288
pitals for those who might be wounded at night.
A feUow countryman, who had been contend
ing for some time against a run of ill luck, beg
ged one of the Messieurs de la chambre, to lend
him a pair of scissors : " oho," cried he, as soon
as he got them, " I now see very plainly the rea
son I lose," and very deliberately walked be
hind one of the bankers, and cut off his queue ;
then throwing it on the table, he exclaimed
aloud, "d — 11 it, I thought there was something,
this is the cause of my ill luck," and returning
the scissors, repeated the weU known lines of
De LiUe,—
" Mais les ciseaux cruels. Prevenez ce forfait,
Nymphes des bois, courez. Que dis-je ? e' en est fait,"
whUst the queueless banker, unable to say a
word, beckoned one of his comrades to his seat,
and left the room to the valiant Englishman.
When the mirth occasioned by this practical
joke had subsided, and my compatriot had been
desired to walk out, the play went on as usual.
In one corner I observed a PoUsh count who
wore the cross of the Legion of Honour at bis
button hole, busily engaged in counting over a
large parcel of pawnbrokers' duplicates, the
whole earthly stock, I strongly suspected, that
the gaming table had left him, except the ward-

289
robe he carried on his back. This man reaped
a better harvest that night than he had done
for a long time previous : as he was sitting on
his chair, one of the gar9ons of the chamber
came up, and pointing underneath his seat, in
quired if he hadnot dropped some money : "Oui,'
cried the fellow, and stooping down, he picked
up a roll of bank notes, and marched off; clearly
proving by his confused manner, and eagerness
to decamp, that it was a most unexpected piece
of good fortune. Towards midnight, when the
company became more select, I took a chair at
the table, when a beautiful young girl placed
herself by my side, and after telling me with a
most bewitching smile that she had been ex
tremely unfortunate duruig the evening, begged
that I would lend her a Napoleon : I could not
well refuse a request which was made so prettily,
and accordingly gave her the sum she required.
In this instance, fortune seemed to shower down
her favours upon her, and she won to the amount
of some sixty or . seventy pieces ; she then
desired I would repay myself from the heap of
gold before her, as it was entirely owing to ^my
kindness she had gained such a sum. I took
the twenty francs, and positively refusing any
more, she called for her carriage, and insisted
that I should partake of a petit souper at her
apartments. ^ b

290
When we arrived, I foUowed her into the
salon, where a large party of both sexes was
assembled, but having on a former occasion been
nearly entrapped at one of these soirees, I caUed
to mind the advice of Lord Chesterfield, " If
you play with men, know with whom you play,
and if with women, for what," and I determined
on no account to sit down at the table.
On such occasions, I have seen the traps set,
and the birds ensnared, and have known young
men who have been ruined by simUar means,
both in fortune and constitution. EngUshmen
who ar^^ontinually passing through Paris, to
Milan, Florence, or other parts of Italy, are
thus annually fleeced of some thousands. A
green horn, in making the grand tour, runs the
greatest risk of being beggared by sharpers, or
seduced by artful women, unless he is accom
panied by a tutor, whom years, experience, and a
knowledge of the manners of the country have
made wise : but of all the existing folUes of the
day, none is greater than to send a young man
of fortune for a few years on the continent, to
travel with a clerical tutor : a Mentor of this
description were not of half so much use as a
good valet de chambre ; he ought to know men,
and what is still more difficult, he ought to know
women also, if he is desirous that his protege

291
should escape the snares and entanglements
which are always cast forth to entrap the un
wary. Now, alas! the good times are gone by,
when young men traveUed with tutors who were
capable of instructing them. If they can pick
up a man able to mark at billiards, or ecarte,
put their hair en papillottes, or tell to a nicety
when a pullet is well dressed, this is the gentle
man they select, for the very purpose of not re
ceiving that improvement which might be ex
pected from his nom de guerre, on the old prin
ciple — ut lucus d, non lucendo.
After some length of time the company dis
persed, and I supped with Madame in her dress
ing room, listening with feelings of pity on the
one side, and horror and detestation on the
other, to her remarks on the different characters
I had seen during the course of the evening ;
having thanked her for her civility and kind
ness in pointing out and detecting these danger
ous customers, I took my leave, fully resolved to
cut such connexions for the future.

2b2

CHAPTER xxm.

Though sight-seeing in warm weather is ra
ther an awful sort of enterprise, yet I ventured
one Sunday during the dog days, to take a trip
as far as St. Cloud, in order to avail myself of
the opportunity of beholding his majesty Charles
X. who was to make his appearance in the cha
pel belonging to the palace, and likewise of visit
ing the gardens, and the park, in which the king
and dauphin were accustomed frequently to en
joy the pleasures of the chase. Having pro
cured a valet de place to lionize me, we took
our seats in one of the little coucous which are
continually plying between St. Cloud and the
capital, and breakfasted at the Hotel du Grand
Cerf, before visiting the royal chapel.
On the outside, and within the iron gates of
the court in front of the palace, were numerous
gendarmerie d'elite, in their blue jackets faced
with crimson, their yellow belts, yeUow panta
loons, yellow gloves, huge jack boots, and cock
ed hats edged with gold lace ; through the
midst of these gentry, by a little shouldering
and perseverance, we were enabled to penetrate
into the interior. The chapel itself is not re-

293
markable for its. internal decorations; it has a
gallery at one end, communicating with the
palace, into which, immediately before the ser
vice commenced, the royal family entered, and
the situation which I occupied afforded me a
good opportunity of observing " les augustes
personnages." — His majesty appeared plainly
dressed, he wore the badges of several orders,
and seemed about sixty-five years of age ; he
had a Roman nose, full eyes, and grey hair,
and altogether his countenance was pleasing and
intelligent : the Dauphin much resembled his
father, but looked thin, and somewhat careworn.
The Duchesse d' Angouleme was remarkably fair,
with light hair, and full blue eyes; she appeared
extremely handsome, and the shade of melan
choly which now and then would steal over her
features, contributed to render her still more
interesting. The little Due de Bordeaux was
likewise present : he bore a stronger resem
blance to the Duchesse d'Angouleme, than to
his mother, the Duchesse de Berri ; his coun
tenance was open and animated, and bespoke
intelUgence and amiability. Mass was perform
ed by the Archbishop of Paris; but the singing
constituted the chief part of the service, and
was executed by some of the first vocalists from
the capital. Charies X. was the only person
^ 2b3

294
who seemed to pay much attention to his devo
tions ; the monde came to " see the king," and
to hear the music. The company were seated,
on chairs ranged on the pavement, whilst two
files of the garde du corps, profusely covered
with silver lace, formed a passage to the altar :
numerous pages of the king, with their broad
white satin shoulder knots, falUng down to the
wrist, were intermixed with the crowd, and the
the garde nationale, who were on duty with
fixed bayonets, at the elevation of the host,
when the word of command was given, rattled
the butt-end of their muskets on the pavement
as unconcernedly as though they had been
standing at ease on the Place d'Armes, The
whole presented a curious mixture of theatrical
pomp, religious solemnity, and military state.
When mass was ended, we took a short walk
in order to observe the grounds and the pros
pect which was to be seen from their eminence,
before we made application for admission. As
we stood on the terrace, we beheld a most en
chanting view : hill, dale, and wood, in every
variety were to be seen on all sides, whUst the
river meandered through the tract before us,
and afforded a pleasing relief to the eye : on
the left, were the heights of Montmartre, and on
the right, the domes of the HSpital des Inva-

295
Udes, and the Pantheon rose proudly above
the circumjacent buddings. While contem
plating the beauties of the scene before us, the
waterworks began to play, in intimation of the
departure of the king and his suite from the
palace. Accordingly, when we desired admit
tance, it was immediately granted, and we were
ushered through the apartments by a kind of
house-steward, who pointed out the various
uses to which the different rooms were appro
priated, and expatiated with a self-complacent
importance, on the magnificence and wealth of
the grand monarque. Throughout the whole,
the most exquisite taste had been evinced : every
thing was here concentrated which could give
an idea of grandeur, elegance, and luxury
united : gilt cornices, superb tapestry, lustres,
mirrors, and paintings, profusely adorned each
successive apartment ; and the effect which
their splendour combined to produce was at
once striking and brUliant, and no doubt, the re
collection of the palace of St. Cloud will embitter
the feelings of the ex-king and his family, when
they reflect upon their sad reverse of fortune.
On our return we proceeded to Tivoli. The
gardens are laid out with some skill and taste,
and possess every thing suitable to the accom
modation of the visiters. Almost every species

296
of frivolous amusement is to be met with, and
the whole had rather the semblance of an Eng
lish fair, than the resort of the elegant and re
fined Parisians ; some were amused by the
tricks of a juggler, or the grimaces of a
mountebank, whilst others balanced themselves
on see .saws, or sailed on dry land in ships made
to turn round with an undulating motion, in imi
tation of the heavings and tossings of a vessel
at sea. In another part, rope dancers and tum
blers exhibited their several feats of dexterity,
whilst the greater number diverted themselves
by dancing to the music of a band stationed in
in an orchestra under the adjoining trees.
Dark allees, shady walks, and retired arbours,
afforded a retreat to those who felt more in
clined for a solitary ramble, or to pair off as
doves, and bill and whisper in private, A
theatre was likewise erected, where the disciples
of Thespis exercised their calling in vaudevilles
and other petites pieces. The grand Uon, how
ever, of the evening, was the display of fire
works, which closed the entertainments : they
were of a most magnificent description, and the
chUdish deUght of the spectators as they wit
nessed the ascent of each succeeding rocket, or
the blaze of a revolving wheel, was manifested
by the clapping of hands, and loud exclama-

297
tions of wonder and admiration. A certain
French author, in his Vrai Code de l' Hymen,
has compared marriage, in most instances, to a
feu d' artifice at TivoU. After the wheel has
been let off, says he, there remains nothing but
blackened scaffolding, burned pasteboard, and
the smell of sulphur; and marriage, to many
husbands, when the honey-moon is over, ap
pears Uttie better than a TivoU firework. Let
us hope, however, that this comparison is seldom
realized; let us suppose the Frenchman only
judges of his own nation, with whose manners
and customs he is best acquainted; but after
aU, perhaps, he has not delineated them cor
rectly, A Frenchman's better half, 'tis true,
often becomes an object of indifference, and
generaUy after the birth of the first child, the
husband and wife meet only twice a day, and
then observe a cold formality towards each
other: he is busUy engaged for the most part,
in playing at dominos and sipping beer, or
lounging on the public promenades, whilst she
is obliged to attend to her domestic duties, as
her station may require.
Although I did not partake of the amuse
ments at Tivoli, yet nevertheless I felt gratified
in observing the hilarity and innocent sports of
the assembled groups : I felt as if I had some

298
connexion with their pastime and diversions,
though I did not join in their festivity, and I
certainly derived pleasure from seeing others
happy, inasmuch as I considered myself engaged
in their circle by witnessing their mirth and
feUcity. Almost every spot in Paris and its environs,
is consecrated, as it were, to la danse: " la
chaine Anglaise,'' " a l' avant deux," and " le
cavalier seul," in company with such Uke bois
terous intruders, seem to have as firm a footing
here, as the muses bad formerly on mount
Helicon. The guinguettes on the outside of
the barriers on a summer's evening, are be
sieged by whole troops of gay grisettes and
beaux, who trip it on the russet lawn, or the
hard earth, with the pede libera until a late
hour. I was returning home one evening down the
Champs Elysees, from one of these places
dedicated to St. Vitus, where I had been sip
ping brandy and water whilst watching the
activity of well turned ancles, and for want of
better amusement, began to throw the chairs,
which were piled under the trees, into the mid
dle of the road. I had not been thus employed
for many minutes, when I was suddenly saluted
by a sentinel: "Qui vive?' " c' est moi," I

299
responded; " qui vive ? sacre Espagnol, passex
au large," and before I had time to stammer
forth, " bourgeois," a buUet whistied past my
head: this I thought savoured of something
more than a joke : I took to my heels a l' instant,
as if the whole corps de garde were after me,
nor did I stop untU I found myself in the city,
and free from all apprehension of pursuit.

CHAPTER XXIV.

'' I began to smoke that they were a parcel of mummers.'Addison.

It seems rather late at the present day, when
every barber's apprentice has made a three
week's tour in France, and brought home a few
French phrases, or a snuff-box ornamented
with the head of Napoleon, to attempt any de
scription of the character or customs of that
nation, whose peculiarities form an enigma
which CEdipus himself would neither be able
to unravel nor understand ; but having entered
a few remarks during my stay, in my common
place book, I shall here introduce them to the

300
notice of the reader, in the same order as they
presented themselves to me. A pretty general
misconception seems to have pervaded the
minds of the untravelled amongst us, with re
gard to the French, and more particularly the
French ladies : frivolity and affectation are
generally supposed to form the principal fea
tures in their character, whereas that very
affectation constitutes independence, and the
frivolity for which they are censured, consists
in a great measure, in carrying every thing,
whether of a light or serious nature, to a greater
excess than either necessity or prudence might
seem to require. The inuendo, which my own
countrywomen would consider indecent, the
French females will endure with the greatest
sangfroid: I was once present when two ladies
at dejeune, before a large party, took off their
garters, in order to settle some dispute concern
ing them ; this was not looked upon as any in
delicacy, neither did one of them surmise that
she shocked my English feelings, when in the
evening, whilst taking a walk, she left me for a
few moments to my own cogitations, and after
wards returned to take my arm, as though she
had acted with the utmost decorum. These
little peculiarities however, or prerogatives, as
I may call them, which the French females as-

301
sume to themselves, are by no means significant
that any further liberties may be taken: but,
after aU, defend me from the horrible impiety
that I should prefer the ready wit, and strength
of nerve of the French woman, to the timid, re
tiring modesty of the English rose : nothing on
earth is so thoroughly disgusting and ridiculous
as a Frenchified Englishwoman; yet still an
Englishwoman in her native simplicity, unas
sisted by foreign aid or art, far outshines the
made up woman of any other country. The
natural locks and shape of our fair country
women can never yield the palm of superiority
to the wigs, towels, and flat bosoms, of the
Parisian females : in the French capital, women
appear weU shaped, but bone, padding, and
stuffing, constitute the only points about them.
As to the male sex in France, petit maitreism
seems to be a leading feature: a feature in
herent in their very nature, and to be found
joined with their" best and worst qualities,
throughout all classes and all ages. It is con
spicuous amid their most serious actions, and
their most trifling pursuits, and no lapse of time
seems in any way to have affected this attribute.
StUl however, it must be allowed that they are
a brave and powerful nation, tenacious of honour,
and eager in the pursuit of mUitary glory: on
2 0

302
the other hand, they are heartless, volatUe,
and inquisitive, and from their inconstancy
and fickleness, seem totaUy unfit to form any
firm or lasting tie of friendship. Sentiment and
bashfulness are seldom to be met with: the
prescribed rules of modesty seem to be ex
ploded by universal consent, and to be free and
easy is the stamped etiquette of the country.
No objection ought to be cast upon the gloomy
appearance of an English Sunday, when com
pared with the gaudy show of a French one. —
It is a part of our politics as well as our reUgion,
it is part of our national character, to do one
thing at a time: we are satisfied with rational
and consistent amusements, and despise the
absurdity which combines so much levity with
devotion. Though we are permitted to visit
Paris, as the French say, and are no longer
exiled from its pleasures, we nevertheless can
enjoy ourselves at home : we are not quite the
forlorn hope of nations, the off-scouring of
humanity ! France may monopolize self-conceit,
but in the eyes of an Englishman, this does not
monopolize all other advantages. She may
laugh at us for our sombre humour, but it is
the better plan, as Horace says,
— " desipere in loco,"
than to indulge our mirth to foUy and excess:

SOS
she may consider us objects of pity, for she looks
across the Channel, and seeing nothing but mist
and clouds, concludes that this is England : this
prospect, when associated with an idle farrago
of ideas concerning our month of November,
induces her to think that an EngUshman must
of necessity be obtuse and baeotian.
Every one, who is not absolutely bigoted to
beefsteaks, will allow the superiority of French
cookery over our own, and those who are not
devoted to port and malt, will acknowledge that
the French wines bear the bell: 'tis true that
the light wines of France will frequently dis
order the bowels sooner than the head, but
again, they do not muddle the brain, nor blunt
the ideas ; on the contrary, they exhilarate the
spirits, and are productive of a generous cheer
fulness and vivacity : comfort however, is alone
to be found in our own island; the French have
no conception of it ; if they are able to turn out
tolerably decent in the street, they care little for
appearances in the house. The Englishman,
who is a most uncomfortable animal in himself,
and therefore stands in need of every comfort
and accommodation, continually endeavours to
anticipate every inconvenience, and to seize by
the forelock every impending misfortune, as the
saUor renders his bark light and secure against

304
the driving storm. Not that he requires luxu
ries, nor that he deUghts exclusively in Apician
gratification, but simply that he cannot do with
out his comforts, any more than a parish pauper
without snuff and tobacco, or a right honour
able pauper without a pension. These com
forts chiefly tend to ward off or alleviate aU
annoyance, and to supply all physical wants : he
derives satisfaction from cleanliness and domestic
quiet, whilst he rather clings for support to ex
ternal objects, than reUes on his fund of animal
spirits for enjoyment. Now the Frenchman
takes all in good part, and having never ex
perienced English comfort, never feels the want
of it : he sits by his stove in winter with as much
complacency, and perhaps more apparent good
humour, than John Bull by his blazing fire-side,
and seems to live upon incessant grimace and
jabber, never dreaming that true comfort had
taken up her abode on our side of the Channel,
and perfectly satisfied in his own mind, that
Mademoiselle Mars is, and was, the first actress
d'.e monde, and that the superiority of the
Grande Nation over every other, was univers
ally allowed, even by her enemies.
A free and gratuitous access to vast and valu
able collections of paintings, works of the most
eminent masters of ancient and modern periods.

305
a familiarity, derived from a similar public ad
vantage, with the noblest efforts in the statuary
art, have been attended with consequences very
remarkable, and which at once are striking and
apparent to the English visiter. All classes of
persons in Paris insensibly acquire a taste for the
fine arts, and a maturity of judgment, which be
longs only to the well educated in England ; and
the classical subjects constantly before their eyes
produce a species of practical knowledge and
intimacy with the fabulous history of the early
ages, more lasting and distinct than the super
ficial acquaintance attained by the bookish
drudgery of our schools. In the production of
this singular result, nature lays claim to a share
not inconsiderable, having conferred upon France
a climate suited to the erection of statuary in
the open air, an advantage denied to us by the
damp cold air of England, which would soon
disintegrate the hardest marble, and assimUate
all our classical statuary groups to that indistin
guishable family, said to inhabit the lower re
gions of the ancients, "whose heads are levelled,
and their noses crushed." An evening assem
blage in a French garden of pleasure, adorned
by the labours of the sculptor, embosomed in
trees, and refreshed with sparkling fountains,
affords a spectacle at once gratifying and m-

306
structive, and may be called a scene of Teniers,
in a landscape of Ruysdael, beneath a sky of
Claude. Amongst these gay and ephemeral beings I spent
my time, till, towards the vintage ofthe year 18 — ,
I committed matrimony with an English lady, in
the face ofthe whole metropoUs, and was shackled
at the forge of the British ambassador, by Bishop
L — . I left Paris immediately after the cere
mony, for my native town, tired of the "dissolute,
gay, wretched, elegant, paltry, busy, and idle"
life I had led, disgusted with the vortex of fri
volity and dissipation, and the melange of what
is most heating, intoxicating, and subduing, in
which I had been constantly engaged, and deter
mined for the future to pursue that one steady
course, which alone can lead to happiness.

CONCLUSION.

And now my tale is told : though my experi
ence bas been dearly purchased, yet I trust it
has not been purchased in vain. At a mature
age, I now review my past life, and whilst memo
ry retraces the course of that stream which ad-

307
mits of no voyager's return, I can discover ample
materials for wonder, gratitude, and regret. As
opinions once warmly advocated, pursuits once
madly followed, errors long since abandoned,
and wishes long since recalled, rise in array be
fore me, whilst sitting in sober judgment on my
former self, another being, yet the same, I am
almost tempted to doubt my own identity, and
can scarcely credit the influence which a few
short years have exercised over my mind. How
I escaped the danger so often dared, and gained
the blessings so often repelled, will always be a
matter for grateful astonishment, and whatever
misfortunes may have attended me, I must thank
fully acknowledge, that but for the disappoint
ment of my own foolish wishes, and the rejection
of my prayers, their number would have been
greatly augmented. I have been acquainted
with vice in her most seducing colours, and
her most disgusting shades ; I have drank
deeply of all the varieties of pleasure, and now
being perfectly convinced of the utter nothing
ness attendant on such unprofitable pursuits,
I would gladly turn aside from the flatti^ring
allurements of crowds and capitals, and appeal
to the peaceful ministerings of a country life,
" not that I love man less, but that I love
nature more," Here, in quiet seclusion, I may

308
contemplate the vanity of sublunary affairs, and
looking through nature up to nature's God, feel
the placid influence of the scenes around, A
country life places us, as it were, in more imme
diate contact with the Deity, it manifests his
superintending love, and brings religion home
to our bosoms.
Thus I would wish to pass my days, that
when old age overtakes me, I might have one
part of my life at least, to which 1 could look
back with a feeling of pleasure, arising from the
consciousness that I had spent it profitably, and
to the glory of that Being who gave it : and
now that I am about to take leave of the
reader, I can only express an anxious hope,
that my course may serve as a beacon to warn
the thoughtless from those rocks and quick
sands, on which all my bright and promising
hopes were cast away, and that he who has
escaped the snares of vice and folly, may, from
the comparison which offers, bless that Pro
vidence, which so safely directed him. To all
I would bid farewell, and provided each be
wise and moderate in his wishes, I may safely
ejaculate, " Dii tibi dent quae veils."

FINIS,

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