3 9002 06092 9628

.Junius, Jr., nseud.
The vision cf .ludnTnent,
liev. York,18.'^8.

I il{ ^ "Igtve tht/e Btaki
, fff'iihefonndba^tf a. CuBege. in- thi^ Calntty"

'Yi^LE«¥]MH¥EIESIIir¥" « iLKiBi^^iFrr 0

¦e

'mi

THE

-m--

VISION OF JUDGMENT

OB, «

Jjlii A PRESENT FOR THE WHIGS OF '76 & '37.

#-'

IN TEN PARTS. tS^f

Wt.ir'-" ¦.

BY JUNIUS, Jb.

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS,

NEW-YORK:
'published bt H. R. ROBINSON, 53 COURTLANDT STREET.
1838.

¦*|'^

BcBtohetd and Adapis, Printers

THE OLD ROMAN

THE

VISION OF JUDGMENT

OK,

A PRESENT FOR THE WHIGS OF '76 & '37.

IN TEN PARTS.

BY JUNIUS, J R,. pseud,
111 I

WITH ILLUSTRATIONS.

NEW-YORK:
PUBLISHED BY H. R. ROBINSON, 52 COURTLANDT STREET.
1838.

[Entered according to the Act of Congress of the llnited States of America, in
the year 1838, by Robinson & Hyatt, in the Clerk's Office of the Southem
District of New- York.]

Niw-YflRK:
Prmtea by SOATCHBKb & Adams,
No. 38 Gold Street

DEDICATION.

To the " Old Roman," ¦who so successfully ¦waged
"war against the "Monster," and through whose
humble efforts to restore the constitutional currency
the merciful desire that " all who trade on borrowed
capital ought to break," has been so fully gratified in
the destruction of credit and commerce : — To the
" Great Magician," who found more " glory" in serv
ing his " chief," than in serving his country — and
foUo'wing in the "footsteps " of his " Predecessor,"
than treading in the footsteps of Independence : — To
" The Great Tumble Bug," who so successfully " set
his ball in motion :" — To " The Great Humbug," who
too successfully tickled the palates of a confiding
people, with gilded '- m,int drops :" — To " The Great
Expunger," now in the bankruptcy of the govern
ment, " The Great Ex-Spunger :" — To the rats of
Government-hill — the wolves, tigers, and jackalls, as
well as the ravenous birds of the hickory tree — and
tothe whole hickory fraternity, the " buck-tails," the
"agrarians," the "loco-focos," and "levelers," and
ail others, wherever and whoever they are, these
pages are respectfully inscribed, by the AUTHOR.

INTRODUCTION

The noble poet hath said, that " 'tis greatly wise
to talk with our past hours." To nations, this re
mark is no less applicable than to individuals. From
the fields of experience, wisdom, if carefully sought,
may sometimes be gleaned ; though it not unfrequent
ly happens that wisdom, thus obtained, finds its pos
sessor in the predicament of one who " paid too dear
for his whistle," To assert that every action has a
motive, is to assert what every body knows ; to assert
that every body investigates motives, would be to
assert what every body knows to be untrue. In the
shifting scenes on the stage of private life, few are
at the pains to examine into its secret mechanism ;
and in the scenes of political life, how few of the multi
tude, who wonder at its gorgeousness and are delight
ed with its changes, are acquainted with the actors
behind the scenes — the tinselry — the charmed wires
— the trap doors, or the mock-thunder of political jug
glers. In the following pages the writer has endea
vored to exhibit the secret wires, which, during the
last eight years, have worked Uncle Sam into a va
riety of strange positions — have kept him dancing to

6

many strange tunes, and at last have caused him to
throw a somerset from glory's glittering height into
" the slough of despond," yclept " shin-plaster lake."
As many may feel curious to know the manner in
which the writer became acquainted with the many
strange things here related, he takes this opportunity
to remark that it was not in an ordinary way of
dreaming, but entirely under a magnetic irifluence,
that the scenes of the past were opened to his vision,
and " coming events cast their shadows before,"
Junius, Jr,
JVew- York, Jauuary 1st, 1838, ^

^UB VISION OF JUDGMENT.

" Smooth runs the water where the brook is deep."
" The fox barks not when he would steal the lamb.'"
" And wer't not madness, then,
To raake the fox surveyor ofthe fold ¦?
Who, being accused a crafty murderer.
His guilt should be but idly posted over
Because his purpose was not executed %
No! let him die in that Ae is a/oa;,.
By nature proved an e'nenvy to the flock,
Before his chaps are stained with crimson blood,
Nor stand on guillets how to slay him."
Shakspeare — Second part of Henry VI. Act III.
Part I.
In my dream I was in the midst of an extensive
plain, in the centre of which stood a hill, called
Government Hill ; to the left of it stood another
and smaller one, called " Congress Hill," On the
summit of the former stood a tall and wide-spreading
hickory tree, whose branches were filled with birds
of every description — vultures, cormorants, jackdaws,
magpies, etc. In its shade were reposing droves of
icolves, hyenas, jackalls, ounces, and other ravenous
beasts. In the sides of the hill were numerous cre
vices, infested by a multitude of rats. At the foot of
the hill a noble Mastiff was reclining, with his paw

8

resting upon a large bag, marked U. S, Although
the marks of age were evidently upon him, yet the
symmetry of his form, and the flashing of his eye,
gave evidence that the fire of more youthful years
was not entirely extinguished.
The hickory tree, as I before remarked, was very
tall. It was likewise broad and hollow at the base —
large enough to contain a small tea party. At this
time there were but two personages within. One,
whom from his appearance I judged to be the spirit
of the tree, was a creature with the head of a man
and the body of a lion ; — at least so at a superficial
glance it appeared^ — but on a closer inspection the
ass might be detected under the licmJs skip,.^ At his
side stood his Mentor, in the form of a fox, with a lit
tle pair of red ichiskers. Being curious to hear what
conversation could be passing between two such
funny looking creatures, I listened, and overheard
the following amusing dialogue, which is here given
" verbatim ad literatim :" —
Ass. — Truly, thou art a clever fox, and mighty
cunning of thy kind.
Fox. — At thy bidding, honored chief, me thou'lt
always ready find. *
Ass. — And wilt thou always follow in my foot
steps ?
Fox. —
" I'll follow — or lead thee about, around,
Through bog, through brake, through bush, through brier —
Sometime a horse I'll be — sometime a hound —
A hog, a beardless bear — sometime a fire — :
And neigh, and bark, and grunt, and roar, and burn,
Like horse, hound, hog, bear, fire at every turn."

INSIDE OFTHE HICKORY TREE

^. sa-r^'

Part II,
The next, and hy far the most important event
which attracted my attention, was observing that
the rats, whose nests were in the holes and crevices of
Government Hill, were trying to nibble from the bag
which the old Mastiff was guarding ; but a low growl,
and a certain warning movement of the paw, fright
ened them off. Consulting together for a while, they
next endeavored to bribe him with someyres^ m,eat.
Failing in this, also, and finding themselves neither
able to steal nor bribe, they resolved upon revenge.
To this end they called a general meeting of all
the rats, "vultures, cormorants, magpies, hyenas,
wolves, bears, tigers, etc. These all assembled to
gether at midnight, in a large cave immediately un
der the hickory tree, called " The Kitchen Cabi
net." The meeting was called to order — Little Fox in
the chair, and brother Amos secretary. Among the
resolutions passed on that memorable occasion, were
the following :
" 1st, Resolved, That to the victors belong the
spoils of the vanquished,
" 2d, Resolved, That ioe are the victors.
" 3d, Resolved, That the Mastiff holds the spoils,
which by right belong to us as the victors.
" 4th, Resolved, That we are the Representa
tives of the people,
" 5th. Resolved, That the interests of the people
2

10
are the interests of their ofiicers ; therefore the inte
rests of the officers are the interests of the people.
" 6th. Resolved, That we are the people.
" 7th, Resolved, That the Mastiff is an animal
dangerous to the interests ofthe people : — therefore,
" Sth, Resolved, That the Mastiff is a Monster !
" 9th, Resolved, That all monsters should be de
stroyed : Ergo, the Mastiff should be destroyed ! !"
All these resolutions were received with great
cheering by the whole meeting, and passed without
a dissenting voice ; when a creature in the form of a
tumble-bug, whom I had not observed before, now
mounted the back of a hyena, and spoke to the fol
lowing effect : —
" I wish to suggest, Mr. President, that the people
must be made to see that the Mastiff is a monster,
before we attempt to molest him; — otherwise we
shall only bring ruin upon our own heads, and the
heads of our friends. This is a grave question, Mr.
President, and one vitally important to the success
of our enterprise, I therefore move, if it be your
pleasure, that an eye salve be prepared for the peo
ple, which shall enable them all to see the hideous-
ness of the monster as we do !" — (Hear, hear !)
" I move that every individual in this hall this ve
ry night go forth to gather the proper materials for
making such a compound, — I myself will volunteer
to lead the way !" — (Great cheering, with cries of
hear, hear !)
" I therefore move, Mr. President, that we proceed

tie '"— (Im-
-vill !")

11

at once to business, and the work is done !" — (Im
mense cheering, with cries of " we will, we will !")
Here they all jumped up, and fell to work in good
earnest. Some brought wood for the fire — others
manufactured a large golden cauldron as if by magic
— while others again, headed by the " tumble-bug,"
went forth to gather roots, minerals, and herbs of va
rious kinds, to make the "salve;" and as they went,
they all broke forth in the fallowing chaunt : — '
" The raging rocks
With shivering shocks
Shall break the locks
Of prison gates;
And Phoebus' car
Shall shine from far.
And make and mar
The foolish fates."
In a few moments they all returned, each bearing
a bundle on his back, which was quickly thrown into
the cauldron, when commenced the terrible incanta
tion of Macbeth, by Little Fox, Brother Amos, and
Tumble-Bug : —
" Thrice the brinded cat hath mew'd."
" Double, double, toil and trouble.
Fire burn and cauldron bubble."
All together. — " Black spirits and white,
Red spirits and grey ;
Mingle, mingle, mingle.
You that mingle may."
The Shade op Washington, accompanied by the
Spirit of Liberty, now stalked into the cave, which
for a few moments threw the whole assembly in t6
the greatest consternation ; but their consummate J

12
assurance did not permit them long to remain awed,
even by the shade of the great "Pater Patria," and
the Guardian Spirit of Columbia, who now, in hollow
and reproachful tones, exclaimed : —
" How now, ye black and midnight wretches 1 —
what is't ye do V
All. — A deed without a name !
" What prompts you to this fiend-like, patricidal
work r
AIL—
' Revenge I Nor shall our purpose slacken,
lE'en though the fiercest winds of Heaven
Are all let loose againat the land ; —
Though the yesty waves
Confound and swallow navigation up ; —
Though credit perish, and though COMMERCE dies—
Though bladed corn be lodged, and trees blown down.
Though the treasure of our country's germinis tumble all together,
E'en till destnfction sicken !"
Exeunt the Shade of Washington and the Spirit of
Liberty, exclaiming : —
" Spirits of evil.
Ye hasten your doom ; —
When to your revel
Again we shall come —
That revel shall be in the cavern ef shame,
And the curse of a nation shall rest on your name !"
Tumble-Bug now arose, and offered the following
resolutions : —
" Resolved, That the eye-salve now made be call
ed the " Golden Magical Magnifying Mixture, or
Bentonian Eye-Salve," Carried.
" Resolved, That the first experiment be made on
the eyes ofthe LION," Carried.

Part III,
Scene — Inside ofthe hickory tree— Lion asleep — Fox
applying the " Golden Magical Magnifying Mix
ture " to the eyes ofthe lion, soliloquizing thus : —
" On the ground
Sleep sound ;
I'll apply
To your eye,
Gentle ass, a remedy."
" When thou wakest
Thou takest
No delight
In the sight
Of thy former Mastiff 's eye ; —
And the country proverb known
That ever'y man should take his own.
In your waking shall be shown."
Presently the lion awoke, and came forth upon the
hill to " shake himself as at other times." No soon
er did he espy the mastiff, than, lashing the earth
with his tail in great fury, he set up a terrible roar.
" Well roared, lion !" said the fox, who was stand
ing by ; " try it again, my lord."
So the lion set up another roar, louder than the
first, and lashed the ground again so furiously with
his tail, that I actually began to fear he would pretty
soon have no tail left.
So far, the " Golden Magical Magnifying Mixture "
worked to a charm. The fox now advised that run
ners should be sent out among " the people," each
one furnished with a good supply ofthe mixture ; that
they should carefully note who among them were

14

able to see, and that all those who were not thus
able, should be made to see.
Now, it was curious to behold the surprise of the
people when the news first came to them concerning
the monster. Some said they believed they could see
a little something singular in his appearance now
they -were told of it, though they did not believe they
should ever have observed it had it not have been
pointed out to them. Others said they did not per
ceive any thing unusual in the mastiff, unless it
might perchance be some slight signs of age,
" Oh, something must be the matter with your
eyes !" said the cunning distributors of the " eye-
salve," " Something must be the matter with your eyes !"
said the hyena, the jackall, the jackdaw and the
magpie in a breath; " allow us to rub a little ofthe
'eye-salve' on your optics, and then shall you be
able to see clearly," Here they applied the " gold
en mixture," when one cried out —
" Oh now I can see his horns !"
" And I can see his tail !" cried another,
" And I can see his claws !" screamed a third,
" I see ten heads!" yelled a fourth.
" I see thirty ! !" echoed a fifth.
" And I count a hundred ! ! !" added a sixth ; while
others were ready to be sworn that they could count
five hundred, each having one eye, and that in the
centre of the forehead. Some said the eyes looked^
to them like so many full moons. To others they

15
appeared as large as the side of a house, while the
horns were as high as a common church steeple,
-Nothing now was talked of but " the Monster,"
" the Monster;" and from one end of the plain to the
other — from morn till midnight and from midnight
until morn, the startling cry of "Monster! Monster!"
was heard. From the height of Government-hill,
the shrill cry of vultures, cormorants, and jackdaws
echoed it forth ; and when the last echo of their notes
was dying in the distance, the hyenas, wolves and
jackalls ofthe tree prolonged the song, and gave it
forth to the midnight winds in a most unearthly
growl. Consternation universal now prevailed. In
different parts of the plain, groups of agitated coun
tenances might be seen collected together, pointing
by the moon's pale light to the " Monster," and pre
dicting ruin, havoc, and distress. And many was the
good Catholic I saw on his knees, praying for the re
turn of the " seven brave champions of Christendom."
Finding that things were going on so well, the
Government brood held another meeting in the cave,
when, after hearing the reports of the runners who
had been out among the people applying the " Gold
en Magical Magnifying Mixture," on motion of Lit
tle Fox, it was resolved that they should construct
an immense cannon of solid gold, to be mounted on
a carriage with " patent frictionless wheels," ranged
alongside of the hickory tree, and to be called " the
Great Gun Experiment," " By this measure," ob
served the fox, " we shall accomplish several very
important objects ; — for, in the first place, we shall

16

slay the monster, and obtain possession of the bag:
second, we shall obtain the vengeance we desire :
third, we shall allay the fears of the people, and
make ourselves Heroes in their eyes; and fourth,
by this we shall obtain over them the sway we seek,
and rule and revel to our heart's content !"
The advice of the fox being thought good by the
assembly, preparations were immediately made, and
the gun cast. The next day, in the presence of.the
whole nation, was the " Experiment " brought forth
and mounted. Great were the rejoicings among the
people, and still greater was the joy of tbe Govem
ment brood, who with ravenous appetites were wait
ing for the spoUs. Part IV,
While these preparations were making for the de
struction of the noble old mastiff, whose only crime
was that of ;h?iving served his country faithfully, he
had sought relief in another quarter. To the left of
Government-hill, as I have before mentioned, stood a
mound or elevation of earth, called " Congress-hill,"
where at this timfe I saw assembled a great many
persons curiously dressed, and all carrying fire-arms.
Birds of various kinds were continually flying back
and forth froih the pec>pleio the assembly, and from
the assembly to the people,— from the hickory tree
to the assembly, and from the assembly to the hick
ory tree. Among them were petition birds of vari
ous kinds, abolition birds, colonization birds, loco-

^c^./S?

^ "^^^ I ' '.

.... -~,^f. r X^
.life..-' ^^ '^ %rf^

THE EXPERIMENT

17
foco birds, monopoly bank birds, custom-house birds,
tariff birds, anti-tariff birds, birds of ways and means,
treasury birds. Veto birds, war departmeut birds,
navy department birds, birds of foreign relations, etc.
Whenever any of these birds came, they immediately
alighted upon a low bush which was growing in the
centre of the hill, and then commenced the firing.
Those who wished to destroy the birds, fired at them.
Those who would preserve their lives, immediately
commenced throwing up a breastwork for their pro
tection, and firing at those who would kill them.
Some of the assembly had " the patent non-recoil
guns," which could be discharged fifty times in a
second. Some had hickory bows and golden-headed
arrows — others had slings and " mint drops." Some
ca.Yried pop-guns and sliced potatoes, while a few had
constitutional cannons, and the real " simon pure "
to load them with. Their balls were cast from a
metal called " stubborn facts ;" — their powder was a
composition of truth, eloquence and reason ; — their
wadding was manufactured by the hands of Liberty,
andthe percussion caps by her sister Justice. These
cannon were all of different calibre ; the largest was
owned by a dignified and rather portly personage, of
a dark complexion, who came from the north-eastern
part of the plain. The next in size was owned by a
very tall and spare gentleman from the southern sec
tion ; his cannon was not quite so large in the diam
eter, but greater in the length of its bore. The third
was owned by a gentleman from the same section
3

18

of the plain as the first. This cannon was called
" the revolutionary blunderbuss," and was given him
by his father, who had taught hira, when almost an
infant, how to load it. The fourth was a southern
cannon, with two bores to it ; — one was called the
" constitutional bore," and the other the " ahti-con-
stitutional bore." The owner was an eccentric indi
vidual, who would one day fire off frora the constitu
tional side, and the next the anti-constitutional ; nay,
he was so eccentric, that sometimes he would fire
them both off together. He was known among the
assembly aS " the versatile genius," and his gun was
called "the nullification nine-pounder,"
- Such was the assembly to which, the old mastiff
now determined to appeal. Accordingly, a " petition
bird " was sent, bearing a memorial in its bill, pray
ing "that a quart of aqua-vitce, or . constitutional
elixir of life, should be sent to the .mastiff to length
en out his existence for a few more years."
No sooner had this bird alighted on the bush, than
a general firing coramenced by all the hickory bow,
sling, and mint-drop, and pop-gun tribe. The cry of
"Mt>NSTER! Monster!" was heard in shrill notes
from the vultures and cormorants ofthe hickory tree.
The Lion set up another hideous roar, while the Fox
ran round among the pop^guns, hickory bows, etc,
-to advise, strengthen, and encourage them, 'Imme
diately after the departure of the fox, this formidable
objection was urged against the mastiff, viz : " That
his bowels were out xjf. order, his limbs out of joint,
and his under-jaw broken; and as the constitutional

J='cc./r

THE ASSEMBLY

19
elixir was not intended to set bones nor heal bruises,
therefore they were opposed to continuing the life of
an animal so infirm as to be incompetent to fulfil his
duties," This falsehood of the mastiff's enemies was
soon exposed by the owners of the constitutional
cannons, for at their suggestion a committee of doc
tors was appointed to examine the Monster and re
port thereon to the assembly. Accordingly, after a
careful inspection of his limbs, bowels, etc., they re
turned with a report, of which the following is an
exact copy : —
" We, the undersigned, physicians to the common
wealth of the United States of America, having been
appointed by your honorable body to examine into
the physical condition ofa certain mastiff, or watch
dog of the republic, and report thereon, do report :
" That we have examined said dog in the most
careful manner, from the tip of his nose to the end of
his tail, and find him sound in both wind and limb.
Not a tooth in his head that is broken, nor a bone out
of joint. His bowels are in an exceedingly regular
and healthy state ; he needed neither emetics nor ca
thartics. We ascertained that he had never been
under a physician's care ; and so little ailment has
there ever been about him, that he has never taken
either pills, " lobelia," or " composition tea," in his life.
His heart and pulse beat regular and strong ; his
tongue was perfectly clean, and, in short, his whole
appearance indicated a sound organization and a
system free from disease. We therefore, in the con
scientious discharge of the duty imposed upon us, do

20
declare said mastiff to be every way worthy of the
confidence of your honorable body, and the whole
republic. All which is respectfully submitted,
JAMES GOODINTENT, M, D.
JONATHAN SHARPEYE, M. D.
GEORGE S, CRITIC, M, D.
W. T. BONESETTER, M. D.
WM. L. LOOKINTOTHEBOWELS.M.D."
After the reading of this report, which was receiv
ed with great acclamation by all the friends of the
mastiff and the republic ; on motion, it was resolv
ed. That ten thousand copies be printed. Next, a
resolution was offered by the owner of the long gun,
that a quart of aqua vitee be at once sent to the mas
tiff, which was carried, and the life-giving element
immediately measured out. The vessel, with its con
tents, was now sent to the Lion to be flavored with
a few drops of executive essence,, oi which he un
fortunately was the sole possessor. No sooner was
the vessel brought into the presence of the old fellow,
and the name of the mastiff mentioned, than he fell
into the greatest rage imaginable, cursing in the
most awful manner, and swearing, by a terrible oath,
that the Monster should never have his life prolong
ed by his instrumentality. Not only so, but he be
gan to kick and roar so that the very mountain
shook again. His fury at length arose to such a
pitch, that he dashed the vessel from the hands of
the messenger — spilled its contents — ^broke it in a
thousand pieces, and ordered the bearer of it to de
part at once out of his sight.

21

Part V,
The scene now was suddenly shifted, as scenes in
dreams are wont to be. I saw the Lion marching
slowly down the hill, attended by his little friend,
the Fox, who at this time was leading, or rather pre
ceding him. With a very insinuating air he bowed
to all whom he met ; and now and then put to his
mouth a little tin trumpet, which he carried in his
hand, and after one or two blasts he called in a
loud voice —
" The Lion is coming, oho ! oho !
The Lion is coming, oho !"
Then in a graceful manner he bowed obsequiously
to the multitude, in a loud voice exclaiming —
" Be kind and courteous to this gentleman, —
Hop in his walks and gambol in his eyes ;
Nod to him all, and do him courtesies."
After proceeding in this manner all over the plain,
forming many personal acquaintances and gaining
many friends, they returned again to the tree. This
journey came very near costing the poor old ass l\is
life ; for on the way his lion's skin blew off, so that
he caught a violent cold, which laid him up for some
days after his return, A few doses, however, of
" No. 6," a quart or two of " composition tea," and
half a pound of "lobelia," restored his health. Eut
in the meantime, to keep up the interest excited
amongthe people by his visit among them, Reynard,
with his accustomed subtlety, takes the old fellow's

22

white hat, and throwing a silver arch over it, with
the magical word " Glory " lettered on it in gold,
places it on the very top of the tree, so that all, even
at the greatest distance, may see it. The effect was
as he had anticipated ; for no sooner did the beams
of the sun fall upon the magical word " Glory," than
the eyes of all the people became so dazzled that
each one fell to capering " like mad." " Glory! Glo
ry I Glory !" was the watchword. Nothing could the
people talk or think about but gold and glory; and
all over the plain, wherever hickory trees were grow
ing, now they were dressed up with flags, white
hats, and mottos of glory. Part VI,
The time seemed now to have fairly arrived for
making the most successful attack upon the Mon
ster, The assembly had dispersed — the people
were all in ecstacies at the glory of their Assanine
Chief, — while the vultures of Government-hill, as
well as the jackalls, hyenas, and all the rest ofthe
hickory tree brood, were ready to seize upon the
prey. Great preparations were accordingly made ;
an- extra quantity of " fulminating powder " was
mariiiit'ctured in the " kitchen cabinet ;" balls and
blank cartridges were prepared in abundance; —
and finally, the " Great Gun Experiment," mount
ed on a carriage with patent frictionless wheels, was
dragged to the brow of the hill by sixteen rats,
twelve vultures, three hyenas, two bears, three

J^a.SJ.

THE DEATH OF THE MONSTER.

23
wolves, and nine jack-asses. Matty, the fox, gave
the gun its proper inclination, while the psuedo lion
Chief gave the signal for applying the match, by
braying three times at the top of his voice, and
shaking his tail, to signify the word— ^^re .' The
cannonading continued three days and nights without
interruption — during all which time the friends of
the mastiff, by argument and other constitutional
means, endeavored to save him, but in vain. The
mastiff was wounded, and at length destroyed. The
bag was seized by the hickory fraternity, placed on
the back of the ass, and borne in triumph up the hill
amid the shoutings of the multitude. Here it was
taken off by the attendants, and opened. Instead of
keeping it tied up in otie large bag, I perceived that
they were dividing it into many smaller ones, at
which my astonishment fbr awhile was very great,
until, turning my eyes in another direction, I discov
ered a whole troop of little bushy tail curs, tearing
full split from every quarter of the plain, and making
straight for the hill. Every one seemed straining
himself to the utmost, and each striving to outstrip
his neighbor. Presently they all reached the hill,
when a selection from among them was made by
the Lion, with the advice of his counsellor Matty,
Those of the bushy tails who obtained possession of
one or more bags, "streaked off" down the hill very
much delighted ; while, on the contrary, those who
were not so fortunate, sneaked home in a very dis
consolate manner, with their tails between their legs,
and their ears hanging. Assembly-hill was now all

24

in an uproar. The constitutional cannon party
went on at a terrible rate — calling the poor old mis
guided ass every thing but a gentleman — declaring
that his conduct was " unconstitutional, tyrannical,
uncalled for, and unjust in the highest degree ; that
it was derogatory to the national character, the ex
ecutive of the nation, and every principle of moral
equity." Not satisfied with thus expressing their
feelings, they went further, and insisted on having
this sentence of condemnation entered in the nation
al record, so that posterity might know that their
hands were clean from the blood of the murdered
mastiff. Accordingly the sentence passed by an im
mense majority, and was in due form entered in the
record of the nation, where it would have been until
this day, but for a circumstance which will hereaf
ter appear.
The next resolution which passed the assembly
was, that a monument should be erected to the me
mory of the mastiff, immediately over the spot where
he' fell. Active steps were immediately taken, and
the monument prepared. It was an oblong block of
marble, ten feet long, four feet wide, and six feet
high. On either side of it was this incription : —
" Done to death by slanderous tongues,
Was the hero that here lies ;
Death, in guerdon of his wrongs.
Gives him fame that never dies,"
On each end was a cannon in basso relievo, and the
word Experiment, in raised letters, immediately un
der it. On the top of it, reclining as in life, with his

25
paw resting upon the bag marked U. S, was a most
exquisitely finished statue of the mastiff. The old
lion on the hill seemed almost as much annoyed by
the lifeless marble as the living monster ; and some
times I thought he seemed actually frightened, as
though the monster had come to life again and risen
from his tomb. Part VII,
We must now return again to the Tumble-Bug,
whom we left at the meeting in the "Kitchen Cabi
net." Looking toward Congress-hill, I was astonish
ed to see him now tugging with all his might and
main at a great ball which he vvas striving to push
up the side of the hill. For a long time his efforts
were unavailing. Like many another poor tumble-
bug, he sometimes got his ball a little vvay up the
hill, when a stone or some other obstacle would turn
it aside, and thus roll tumble-bug and ball further
down than before. Nevertheless he did not appear
discouraged, but with all that pertinacity for which
the species are distinguished, renewed his efforts as
often as defeated. Other tumble-bugs at length
came to his assistance, when, " by a long push, a
strong push, and a push all together," the ball was
rolled to the top of the hill. The national record
was then seized by these tumble-bugs and laid down
before the ball, when another push vvas made so as
to roll it directly over that part of the record where
the sentence of condemnation vvas written. Of
4

26

course, the nature of the ball left a dark impression
upon the page; Ehid thus was this part of the record
"Expunged!" The old ass was so delighted with
this piece of friendly service, that he at once dubbed
them all " Knights of the black garter, and the sun
burnt ball," and made them each a present of an ele
gant " yellow jacket," and a string of "mint drops."
By way of distinction, Tumble-Bug was now called
" The Great Expunger," Dressing hiinself up in
his " yellow jacket," with the string of " mint drops"
round his neck, he presently mounted his ball, and
with a terrible flourish thus addressed the assem
bly:— " Solitary and alone, amid the jeers and taunts of
my enemies, /set this ball in motion \"
Part VIII.
Looking again towards Government-hill, I per
ceived the little Fox, now eyeing very wistfully the
ivhite hat which was on the top of the tree. As
far as I could judge, he was trying his skill in clirab
ing, for every few moments he shot up the tree, and
then down again, like a flash, singing all the while
that sublime and ancient song —
" Hickory, dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock j —
The clock struck one, the mouse ran down —
Hickory, dickory dock !"
While engaged in this delightful employment, a
loud and hurried cry of " Matty I Matty !" was heard

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27:
proceeding from the Ass within^ 1 1n a twinkling^
Matty was in attendance, . when he found thp poor'
old creature in great agony. His travail, however,
was short ; for with the assistance of such a ttiidwife-
as Matty no labour could be tedious. .Accordingly,
lie was soon safely delivered ofhis " Farewell Ad
dress," a. promising young ass, very much resembling
bis sire, except a streak or two of the foXi, vvhich, on^
a close inspection, might be seen about the head and
tail. Having nothing else handy, the acc&acheUr took'
down an old cloak, which the people had been taught
to believe was the "Mantle of Washington," which/
in a miraculous manner, one "sun'-shiny" day de
scended upon the old ass just after he toiok posses
sion of Government-hill, This wonderftil cl0ak, I
say, Matty "now used as swaddling cl<jthes:;for Ule>
infant ass; and thus wrapped up, he was sent fbrtlS
among the multitude as the last proof of affection'
¦which the old ass had to give them previous to con
signing the cudgel to his " successor." The next and
the last act of the ass was to disrobe himself of his
lion's skin, and place it on Matty, charging him, at
the same timei, " to follow steadily and faithfully in
the footsteps of his Predecessor-^to wear the white
hat with honorto himself; and him vivho had worn it so
long before; — and finally, should the Monster ever
eo'me to life again, he should persecute hitn, 'his seed,
and his seed's seed for ever !'
To all these injunctions Matty paid strict atten
tion, promising to turn neither to the right hand,
nor to the left, but in every thing to walk according

28:
to the ¦ advice "and commandmehts t)f his Chief,
These^pteliminaries being/settled, Matty made a bold
push, for the top of the tree; and seizing the .white
hat, clapped it oh in a moment, exclaimiag in an ex
ulting tone; .".I'll be a King:or die !" The:hatunfor-
tunately.proved to he too large, which at once threw
the little fellow into a serious difl[iculty. .To think
of reducing the si^re of the, Aa^, vvas a thing entirely;
out of the question ; and to erildrge his head seemed;
equally impossible. In this quandary, Matty called;
together his friends to dev^ise the best method of re-^
moving the difficulty. Some advised one thing, and
some another. One recommended that his head;
should be put in a machine similar tto that invented;
in England by a Mr. Easy; whiletanother suggest-:
ed,, th'dtiif a. I vaccuUm was created by means of
an air-pump.: and ther head placed, in that, its size
would be', increased, . At, this critical moment a
celebrated phrenologist, (Gull by ng;me,) luckily
came along, -who. was at once hailed, and his advice
sought on this trying occasion. After carefully.
examining the head of the Fox, and measuring it
with a ,'^:crani0meter," the phrenologist-gave it as his
celiberate opinion that the difference between; the
size;of_the hat and the size of the Fox's head, was
just the difference between the head of a fox and the
head of an ass ; and that, as brains in the prede
cessor had not caused the size of the hat, therefore
the head of the Fox eould be fhcreased icithout the
addition of brains.
A ray of hope now lighted up the countenances of

¥ETo

PHRENOLOGICAL EXAMINATION.
Xiific- of Jf.RMoicrtsarv .

29^
all as they eagerly called out " hotc ? htnc 7" The
little Fox himself ran up, and seized the phrenologist
by the hand, promising to be " a firm believer and
supporter of the science if he would devise a way to
increase the size of his head."
" Well, then," said the phrenologist, " my advice is
this : — You are aware that we all partake raore or
less of the nature of whatever we eat; for the food
that we take into our system becomes assimilated to
it, and so incorporated as to forra the flesh of vvhich
we are coraposed ; — therefore, if you feed entirely up
on bear, you insensibly imbibe the nature of the
bear : if you eat hog, you become swinish : and so
on. Accordingly, I advise that you at once procure
a, jack-ass, slay and eat him ; and my word for it,
that by the time you have finished him, you will not
only imbibe the nature of the beast, but be in truth
a jack-ass yourself And this will enable you lite
rally to fulfil the parting admonition of your friend
to follow faithfully in the footsteps of your predeces
sor ; for now your legs are too short to follow in his
steps — your head too small to fit the hat — and your
voice entirely too fox-like to imitate the lion's roar!"
As he concluded this speech, a universal shout of
execration burst forth from jackall and vulture ; and
cries of " hustle him down ! hustle him down !" were
so fiercely uttered, that the phrenologist concluded
it wise in this emergency to exercise his cautiousness
rather than his combativeness.
The Fox now depending entirely upon hiraself,
soon devised ways and means to remedy the evil, " so

30:
to rights," he called in at once the aid of halfa-
dozen wig makers, and in less tirae than it would
take to say " Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled
peppers," he had the wigs all fitted to his head, and
the hat as comfortably fitted to the wigs. And
now were the people delighted ; the old woraen de
clared that Matty was a witch for sartin ; the old
men shook their heads gravely, and muttered tbe
ominous word " wizard ;" while the whole hickory
fraternity pronounced him clearly a Magician.
Part IX,
The magician had enjoyed his honors but a few
days, when a terrible catastrophe took place, which
for a while left many in doubt as to the stability of
Government-hill, It happened, one cold morning, a
little before sunrise, that an " awful explosion," like
an earthquake, was felt all over the plain, even to the
farthest extremity. The whole nation were in the
greatest consternation. Some thinking, from the
rockiiig of the walls, that their houses were falling
down on their heads, b^gan to weep and lament in
the most distressing and alarming raanner. Others
tore their hair in the agony and frenzy of the mo
ment, running about and screaming in the most
heart-rending tones ; while others again gave them
selves in suUenness to despair, and cursed the day of
their birth. In short, it would be irapossible to de
scribe half the distress and wretchedness produced
on that dreadful and never-to-be-forgotten day.

THE EXPLOSION

Zl
Goverftment-hill could not be seen on accpunt of a
dense cloud which rested upon it, A strong smell of
sulphur filled the atraosphere; but what had gone with
the inhabitants of ihe hill, no one for a ,long time
could imagioe. When at length the mist dispersed^
to the great joy of the people Government-hill was
yet standing, although sadly rent em d injured. The
" Great Gun Experiment " had blown itself to atoms,'
and its friends to a place which it is against my prin
ciples to i^iention. Fragments of the hickory treq
lay scE^ttered as if struck by lightning ; the birds and
the beasts were blown in different directions both far
and near. The litle Fox, with his hat of glory, gold
en ra^s, andall the trappings of Royalty gone, lay at
a distance, " with none so poor as to do him ireVe-
rence." Tumble-Bug, alias " the Great Hurabug,"
alias " the Expunger," was ^qen clinging to his ball
as it rolled over and over, projected, with the velo
city 6f;lightning, towards the'WEs'i',' The poor* bid
ass, -with the loss ofhis tail, was picked up near a
place called the jfifermi^a^e, with scai-tely a sound
bone in his body. When I discovered him, they
were bearing hirn along on a litter, singipg these
mournful words : — ; ,;
" Alas, alas 1 Poor Ass, poor Ass !
' Oh dear, how sad thy hapless fate !
Too bad, too bad — reform we fear is now too late !
Thy fortune gone — thy scheme all blown,
' Thy glory fled, thy friends all dead,
Alas, alas ! Poor Ass, poof Ass !" ' . "
The Golden Ball was projected three hundred yiids
ii-otnthe hill and rent in tw^ain; wheni to the astonishment of
all the .people, it was foutid to have been' hollow within -.aid
imlfgAU withput ! 1 Frojnit, as from ths fahled box, of Pan
dora, issued every epl thing which could be injagined.. Pover
ty, Distress, and Famine (Jame forth, followed by a ghostly
trqin, bearing ip their arms whole bundles of paper ; some
marked " Treasury NoteSf" others "Sub-Tr.eas'uri/," others

S2
again were little pieces of ragged and dirty paper called
" Shin Plasters ;" which were no sooner let loose from the
hands of those who carried them, than, as if instinct with life,
they immediately attached themselves to the shins of every
body, and caused such an itching and scratching that it
seemed as if the poor folks thus tormented would go crazy.
Many were the remedies proposed ; many were the doc
tors, and many thel^pinions of the doctors ; not as to the dis
ease, for one and all agreed that it was an obstruction, which
must be removed in some way or other. One recommended
" life pills" and " Phoenix bitters ;" another cried up " Bran-
deth's universals," The "mineral doctors" recommended
m,ercury and amputation ; while the Thomsonians declared
with loud voices, that nothing was half so good as " composi
tion tea," made from No, 1 up to No, 6 ; a "steam bath in a
box where the patient could not get out, and plenty of " lo
belia !"

Part X.
At this moment I was " willed " back again to my former
state. My eyes opened, and I discovered that I had seen a vis
ion. This was iny first, but not my last magnetic discovery.
By the agency of the same mysterious power, 1 have beeu
enabled to see many thino;s otherwise obscure ; even the
events ofthe future have been exposed to my gaze — and ma
ny are the secret political meetings in which 1 have been an
unobserved observer. Nothing escapes my ken. Not only
do I keep a watch upon the actions of all political jugglers,
but I also " in spirit " travel daily from place to place to search
out the misery of men, and to discover the cau,se of that
misery. And further, I have made discoveries in relation to
our earth which mankind as yet have nev^er dreamed of ; the
North Pole and the South Pole have been carefully scrutinized,
and — but this is not the place to tell what I have done. It
remains with the pnblic to say whether my wonderful magneti-
cal discoveries shall ever be published, or whether, with the
second number of the Vision of Judgment, they all shall
have the "fame of oblivion,"
Respectfully, &c,
„, ^^ , r JUNIUS, Jr.
New- York, January 1st, 1838.

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