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SISTER AUGUSTINE
AN OLD CATHOLIC
SUPERIOR OF THE SISTERS OF CHARITY IN
THE ST. JOHANNIS HOSPITAL
AT BONN

Authorized Translation from, the German
MEMORIALS OF
AMALIE VON LASAULX

NEW YORK
HENRY HOLT AND COMPANY
i88i

J. CAMPJBELIj,
PRINTER,
15 Vandewater St., N. Y.

PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH EDITION.

The interest which never fails to attend an unvarnished
record of mental life, with its fears and hopes, its failures
and successes, can only be increased when the story relates
to a woman of our own time, who, from the walls of a
convent, devoted herself to the service of God and her
fellow-creatures according to no rule but that of the truest
evangelical Catholicism. Her sound sense and singleness
of purpose long enabled her to gather the flowers of
practical Christianity amid the weeds and thorns by which
those who surrounded her had hedged them in : through
evil report as well as good report she laboured cheerily
and bravely for others : and, when it became needful, she
did not hesitate to protest boldly against innovations upon
her ancient faith, and to die exiled and disgraced for the
truth she loved.
Amalie von Lasaulx was well known in her lifetime
to many of the most earnest seekers after good amongst

VI PREFACE TO THE ENGLISH EDITION.
the great intellects of Germany. Since her death, the
widespread circulation of her Memoirs has so completely
made her name a household word throughout her own
country, that no apology seems necessary for introducing
to an EngHsh public the biography of " Sister Augustine."
AUGUSTUS J. C. HARE.
HOLMHURST, June, 1880.

AUTHOR'S PREFACE.

During the years that have elapsed since the death o!
the subject of this Memoir, I have been careful to collect
from all quarters materials for the record of her life and
work, which I now ofifer to the public. I have been much
assisted by the kindness of the late Frau M. Boisser^e,
the late Herr von Bethmann-HoUweg, Professor Busch,
Canon Holzer, Herr Hubert von Lasaulx, Fraulein M.
Potter, Professor Reusch, and the families of the late Pro
fessor Mendelssohn and the late Professor Perthes, all of
whom have furnished me with letters and other valuable
documents. The facts which I have collected since the publication of
the original German editions of these Memoirs (January and
June, 1878) I have now added to the English translation,
which as a biography has the advantage of being more
complete. I have, however, shortened the Introduction,
which treats of the family history, and is therefore of but
little special interest to the English reader.

viii author's PREFACE.
This biography has been written in consequence of a
promise given to the Superior that after her death I would
see that her memory was not forgotten. I give it to the
public, in the hope that the remembrance of the beloved
and respected Superior may be preserved.
Bonn, AprU, i88a

INTRODUCTION.

The family to "which Amalie von Lasaulx belonged came
originally from Lorraine. In 1611 Jean de la Saulx (of
the Willow) and his son were raised to the nobility, as
the report goes, in consequence of their bravery during the
war with the Turks. For five generations the family lived
in the Castle of Bergh, near Luxemburg, and from thence
Amalie's great-grandfather, Johann Claudius von Lasaulx,
came to Coblenz in the first half of the eighteenth century,
and entered the service of the Elector of Treves. He is the
ancestor of the only branch of the family still in exist
ence. He lived in that time which was so memorable for
Coblenz, when, by the building of the palace, it became
the residence of the Elector. Johann Claudius died in
1 79 1, as Privy Councillor of the Elector.
Of his three sons, the youngest, Peter Ernst, Amalie's
grandfather, was the most distinguished. He was in cha-
acter decided, quick, fearless, and honest, and of great

x. INTRODUCTION.
intellectual power. His influence as Syndic was, in the
electorate, greater than that of almost any^other person
of his time. His endeavours to ameliorate the political
and social condition of the citizens and the peasantry,
and the energy with which he defended the ancient rights
of the country against the unjust demands of the Court,
the cathedral Chapter, and the nobility, involved him in
many a hard conflict, and made him many bitter enemies.
These struggles reached their height when, at the out
break of the French Revolution, the Elector, contrary to the
wishes of the people, made the country around Coblenz the
gathering-place for the emigrants, and joined the coalition
between Prussia and Austria. As danger drew near, how
ever, and when in October, 1791, the news spread of the
capture of Mayence, those were the first to take flight who
had brought' the war upon the electorate — namely, the
Elector himself, his Minister, and the cathedral Chapter,
leaving the town helpless and unprotected.
In the meantime the National Convention had, out of
revenge, decided upon the total destruction of Coblenz, and
this intelligence increased to the utmost degree the con
sternation and terror of those days, for the enemy was
believed to be before the very gates.
The Syndic von Lasaulx, who with a few brave men
had remained in the town, thereupon determined, as a last

INTRODUCTION. Xl
resource, to go as far as Mayence to meet the French com
mander Custkie, and to beg him to spare the electorate.
He had hardly started, when the German troops, on their
return from Champagne, entered Coblenz, and thus put
an end to the threatening danger.
With the exception of the Elector, those who had fled
for the most part returned, and one of the Syndic's warmest
opponents, Baron Kerpen, was appointed governor of the
town. The long-watched-for opportunity came for the
enemies of the Syndic to accomplish the overthrow of
the man they hated. Hardly had Lasaulx returned from
Mayence, when he was arrested by order of the governor,
accused of high treason, and sent to prison in Ehren
breitstein. It was in vain that the people petitioned for his release ;
or that his total innocence was proved ; and in vain the
Elector of Mayence and other Powers warned the Elector
of Treves not to compromise himself by such unjust
measures. So great was the influence which the personal
, enemies of the Syndic had gained over the otherwise just
and mild prince, that Lasaulx succeeded only in regaining
his freedom after fifteen months' imprisonment.
The official correspondence of those days, preserved in
the cathedral archives at Treves, gives a deep insight into
' the system of intrigue by which the electorate, at the time

xii INTRODUCTION.
of its fall, was surrounded, and to which Lasaulx had
fallen a victim.
Not till seven years later did the Elector think himself
bound to make up for the wrong he had committed, by
a full declaration of Lasaulx's innocence, and by com
pensating for all he had lost. However, it was not in his
power to restore him to his former post, for during those
seven years the storms of the revolution had passed over
the country, reducing its entire constitution and all the
splendours of the electorate to ruins.
The warm sunny days of the good old electorate were
over and gone, and a new era had dawned upon the Rhine —
that of the French occupation.
And here again two members of the Lasaulx family
made themselves conspicuous in the Rhineland : Franz von
Lasaulx, Rector of the School of Law, and his brother-in-
law, Joseph Gorres, who both of them had in their youth
been zealous champions of the French ideas of freedom.
Joseph Gorres, however, intellectually the most powerful
man of his day, after having witnessed the horrors of the
Revolution at Paris, soon turned his interest to his German
fatherland. It is a proof of the high opinion which
Napoleon entertained of this man so dangerous to himself,
that he styled the " Rheinische Merkur" edited by him,
" the fifth European Power."

INTRODUCTION. , xiil
Through Gorres, the Lasaulxs once more took up a
high position in the town. The house was one of the
best known on the Rhine. It was a neutral ground,
on which the members of different confessions and of
opposing political parties met in harmony — on the one
hand, the Coblenz friends and relations, particularly the
sons and daughters of the Syndic von Lasaulx ; on the
other, officials, artists, men of letters, and Prussian officers
like Gneisenau, Sharnhorst, and Groeben. There the most
diverse opinions were exchanged, and interests we-re
excited, which till then had been considered impossible
to be united, and gradually this circle became the centre
of far more liberal and grander views of life than had
existed in the old electoral days.
In i8iS the Rhineland was united to Prussia, and high
hopes were entertained that the future would realize the
dreams of the days of the Wars of Independence.
In Prussia, however, reaction had begun, and its results
were but too much felt at the Rhine. Disappointment, dis
satisfaction, and embitterment against the Government took
the place of joyous expectation. Again Gorres came to
the front, and gave loud expression to the general feeling
by demanding in bold words, as a right of the people, the
restitution of the constitution. The conflict at last reached
such a height that Gorres, in order to escape being arrested,

xiv INTRODUCTION.
left the Rhine. He never again returned to his old home,
but he ever kept up a. close connection with the circle
in Coblenz, among whom his powerful character had left
a deep impression. For many long years the chords he
had struck re-echoed in the hearts of the people of the
Rhineland.

CONTENTS.

CHAPTER PAGE
I, CmLDHOOD— Family : 1 815-1830 . . . i
II. Friends and Relations— Early Years : 1830-1840 17
III. Charitable Institutions in Coblenz — Entrance
on Convent Life . . . . .31
IV. The First Nine Years of Convent Life: i 840-1 849 38
V. Ecclesiastical Events in the Rhine-Province
FROM 1835-1848 . . . . .51
VI. Life and Labours in the Hospital at Bonn:
1849-1864 . . . ... .70
VII. Inner Life and Relation to the Order . . 91
VIII. Friends in Bonn— Family Relations . . 123
IX. The Position of Church Parties : 1848-1868 . 156
X. Hospital Work in Schleswig : 1864 . . i77
XI. Hospital Work in Bohemia : 1866 . . .198
XII. Ecclesiastical Events : 1868, until Summer of
1870 ....••• 219
XIII. The Years after the Council : 1870-1872 . . 250
XIV. Closing Years and Death . . . .291

SISTER AUGUSTINE.
CHAPTER L
childhood — FAMILY: 1815-183O.
On the 19th of October, 1815, the youngest child, a daugh
ter, of Johann Claudius von Lasaulx, architect, was born in
the old family house, Clemens Platz, Coblenz. She was
christened in the Castorkirche, and called, after her god
mother, Amalie.
The large black eyes with which she first looked out
into the world, contributed at that time not a little to the
almost repulsive plainness of the sickly little child she was.
So delicate in the early part of her life, that no one
believed she would ever reach womanhood, and so ugly,
that her mother could be with difficulty persuaded to let
her appear in the presence of strangers. She was, how
ever, most carefully nursed, particularly by her father's
sister, Christina, who devoted much time to her little niece,
and instructed her with much patience in the art of walk
ing — a lesson hard enough for the weakly child to learn.
Amahe's father, Johann von Lasaulx, or as he was cailed

2 SLSTER AUGUSTINE.
in Coblenz, Jean Claude de Lasaulx (he was always named
Jean Clodchen by his most intimate friends), was sent in
1798, by his father, to Wiirzburg to study law. As, how
ever, this dry study held out to him but little promise,
he soon gave it up, in order to devote himself to medicine.
It is very doubtful if he made much progress in this latter
science, as, when he finished his studies, after being eleven
sessions at college, we hear nothing of his passing any
examinations. He succeeded, however, in falling in love
and getting married before he left the university, and,
to the unspeakable astonishment of his father, brought
home from college his young wife, Anna Maria Muller.
" She is hardly worth what it costs to bring her here," the
syndic is reported to have exclaimed in the first burst of
his anger at the unexpected arrival of a daughter-in-law.
In the hope of gaining an independent livelihood
for his household thus early formed, Lasaulx tried first one
occupation and then another, all equally without result.
He began a vinegar distillery in Coblenz, which all his
acquaintances eagerly hastened to patronise ; but as it
was quite impossible, even for his most intimate friends,
to consume more vinegar than other people, and as he got
no other customers, the distillery had soon to be given up,
and Lasaulx betook himself to the ironworks of Dietz.
As a child he had a great liking for mechanics, in which
too he had given evidence of some skill, and therefore he
was often induced to spend his idle hours with the joiner
and smith, or in the building-yard with the mason, or
in the shop of the carpenter. The establishment of a mint
in Ehrenbreitstein gave him an opportunity of receiving
instruction in the art of coining. By all this, however he

childhood — FAMILY. 3
could not gain a livelihood, and the young household had
at first often much difficulty in making ends meet. In
the year 1809 his father died, and was buried near the
ruin of the Johanniskirche in Niederlahnstein, beneath the
shadow of the hazel tree, where lay also his wife, who had
some years before preceded him to the grave.
The children had all grown up in the belief that they
would one day be rich, and it was a somewhat cruel ,
disappointment, when, in consequence of the want of fore
sight with which their father had lived above his means,
and his generosity and unselfishness towards his friends
the inheritance turned out to be not only small, but in such
a state of confusion, that it required some years before it
could be brought into order. The house remained the
common property of the family. The three sisters, the eldest
of whom was hardly twenty, lived in the top story, under
the protection of their married brother, who inhabited the
ground-floor, the second story being inhabited by the
Procurator-General Eichhorn.
Through the exertions of Gorres and other friends, the
post of county architect was created for Lasaulx, and
offered to him. Not being in any sense an architect, he
hesitated to accept the office. Gorres, however, urged him
so strongly not to refuse a position for which he was
so admirably fitted, that he yielded to persuasion and
accepted the post. According to his own account, he
at first made many a blunder, but he worked so hard at
his profession, that he at last became one of the most
celebrated architects in the Rhineland.
The Government confirmed him in the situation he had
obtained without any study or examination, and shortly

4 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
afterwards appointed him inspector of buildings. It was
especially Lasaulx's style of vaulted roofs that made his
reputation. Among his literary works, by which he was
known beyond Germany, the most celebrated is his treatise
on " The Method of Vaulting among the Ancients."
He was among the first who successfully opposed the
inartistic style of the eighteenth century, and reintroduced
the old German form. Beautiful churches, all of them
distinguished by their tall slender spires, began to appear
according to his plans, in different places on the Rhine
and Moselle, and many old churches — as, for example,
the Castorkirche in Coblenz — had to thank him for their
restoration to their original simple beauty. It was Lasaulx
who called attention to the architectural value of Ramers-
dorf Church, which was then unnoticed and neglected, and
falling into ruin, and, through the influence of the mayor,
Oppenhoff, and Bethmann-Holweg, caused the old building
to be newly erected in the cemetery in Bonn, where it now
stands. Other buildings were constructed according to his
plans, among which were the castles of Rheineck and
Rheinstein. He restored the Konigstuhl at Rhense, after
the old pictures, to the original form it had had in the
Middle Ages, when it served as the meeting-place of the
electors. Most of his works were afterwards engraved.
In the year 1 8 14 we find him in Nassau with the Prus
sian Minister, Von Stein, who had asked him to submit
plans for the restoration of his castle. Stein speaks of
Lasaulx in a letter to his wife, as a "clever, able, and
agreeable young man."
The years ofhis past life, apparendy misspent, now stood
him in good stead, for by the minute knowledge of his

childhood — FAMILY. 5
business gained during that time, he was able to examine
every detail of the work his men turned out, and practically
to correct their mistakes. Under his care the quality of
work produced in the Rhineland, which up to this time
had been very poor, was much improved, and many purely
mechanical processes were brought by him to perfection.
The workmen felt that they had to do with one who was
perfectly master of his business, and they stood in dread
of the relentless fidelity with which he insisted on order
and punctuality. On one occasion, when his sisters and
some of his friends had gone to spend a Sunday in
Waldesch, they were much astonished to see workmen
actively engaged in the new church. On their remon
strating with them, they received, to their great amuse
ment, the following answer : " You see, madam, the inspector
is worse than the very devil himself 1 " and they kept on
steadily at work, to make up for the time lost during the
week. His disinterestedness won for him in rich measure the
respect and gratitude of those parishes in which he under
took to build churches. Indeed, this trait of unselfishness
and indiff'erence towards worldly gain was characteristic of
all the Lasaulx family.
In one instance, after having completed the building
of the church in Weissenthurm, he refused to take any
remuneration for his labours. The congregation thereupon
presented to him and to the local magistrate, who had
likewise taken a great interest in the building, and whose
devotion to Lasaulx was quite touching, a place of honour
in the churchyard, which might serve as a burying-ground
for themselves and their families.

6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Lasaulx built his own house between the years 1839-41,
on a narrow strip of ground in the Schlosstrasse, and it
was perfectly astonishing how he turned the small space
at his disposal to such good account, and what a convenient
house he managed to build on it. He had a great love for
old pictures and other works of art, and a great knowledge
of them. On his travels through the country he would
often discover and purchase valuable works of art in the
dwellings of peasants, so that his own house soon con
tained many objects of interest.
Though he had, except during his student years,
spent almost his whole life in Coblenz, he was neverthe
less a well-informed man, and well-acquainted with the
world. In his leisure hours he was very fond of reading
novels, always the end first, so as to avoid all unnecessary
excitement. Silent and reserved in his own house, he
was always merry and animated in company, and all
who associated with him praised his rare amiability and
kindness. There was something noble, almost knightly,
too, in his whole manner, while his outward appearance
was like that of the old masters in German art. But
though he won fame as a church architect, and though
his opinion on any question of art was respected, Lasaulx
himself remained for many years a stranger to all practical
life within the Church. This arose, not from his being in
any way opposed to Christianity, but from that simple
indifference to all the outward forms of rehgion, which he
had inherited, with the best men of his time, as a legacy
of the eighteenth century. It was said of him, that as
soon as he had given up the key of a church he had built,
he never again entered it.

childhood— FAMILY. 7
Amalie's mother, though far more ecclesiastically
minded, was not so lovable as her husband. She had
a deeply serious, upright character ; her letters give testi
mony of her tenderness and faithfulness, and her poetic
turn of mind ; but her stern, reserved manner made her
appear at times almost unapproachable, even to the
members of her own family. As a housewife she was
most exact and orderly, insisting on an almost painful
cleanliness. Among her friends and relations, by whom
she was respected rather than loved, she was known by
various names : " The old lady philosopher," " The lady
prioress," " The sapientia," etc. ; and it is characteristic of
the position in which, from her reserve, she stood to the
other members of the family, that for many years her
husband's sisters addressed her by no other name than
the formal "sister-in-law." Her little nephews and nieces
discovered an alarming likeness between their aunt and a
large owl in one of their picture-books, so that they stood
in decided fear of her and her solemn eyes. They made
their duty visits during the holidays, with respectful
awe, and were greatly rejoiced when they escaped from
the gloomy atmosphere of the house into the sunshine
again. It may have been partly owing to the mother's influence,
that a painful solemnity and a mutually distrustful reserve
was to be found among the members of the Lasaulx family.
On disputed points, opinions were not expressed, but a
strict silence was maintained. For weeks, for months even,
children and parents could live together with each other,
without so much as even exchanging an unnecessary
word.

8 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
The six children were in almost every way entirely
diff'erent from each other. They all had in common
an active imagination, artistic gifts, and, especially the
daughters, an immense power of work. As regards their
education, it may be said that they grew very much like
the young trees in the forest ; for their father, who, with
his brothers and sisters, had enjoyed the utmost freedom
at home, was opposed to all compulsion, especially in re
ligious matters. The children had their instruction almost
in their own hands ; and if, in spite of the want of a proper
restraint upon them in youth, most of them afterwards
made names for themselves, they had the characteristic
energy of the Lasaulx family to thank for it, and the
healthy intellectual atmosphere then prevailing in Cob
lenz, which they breathed unconsciously, like the air of
heaven. Amalie's eldest brother was ten years of age when she
was born. He bore the old Lasaulx family name of
Peter Ernst, was born in 1805, and was remarkably clever.
He was early the decided favourite of his mother, and the
sisters also loved their brother enthusiastically. The two
other brothers were Otto, born in 1806, and Hermann,
born in 1808. The latter had shown from his childhood a
singular disposition. His lively imagination carried him
away to impossible dreams and ideas, and his sensitiveness
and proud unselfishness rendered him completely unfitted
for every-day life. He had a great talent for telling witty
anecdotes, and this, along with his kindness of heart, made
him a general favourite, notwithstanding all his peculia
rities. Like Amalie, he had the mother's large, dark
eyes, and he took pleasure in asserting that they were

childhood — FAMILY. 9
Spanish, and that one of his maternal ancestors had been
a Spaniard. Her sisters were Anna, born in 18 10, and Clemen
tine, born in 181 2. Anna, or as she was generally called,
" Nannchen," was of a quiet, gentle disposition ; her chief
characteristic was unselfish kindness to others ; whilst
Clementine far surpassed both her sisters in beauty and
distinguished manners.
Among her brothers and sisters Amalie passed a
happy childhood. After she had got over the delicacy of
her early years, her physical and mental powers developed
rapidly ; she became bright and lively, and every one who
saw her with her sparkling eye, her rosy cheeks, and her
happy smile, thought her the perfect picture of health and
strength. Always in a good temper, full of droll, occa
sionally noisy pranks, wild and venturesome as a very
boy, she was the favourite among all her relations. Her
father's pride in his youngest child was returned with pas
sionate aflfection and admiration,
Lasaulx was once walking along with his friend
Sulpice Boisser^e and his wife, who had just come to pay
him a visit in Coblenz, when suddenly, as they were
passing a friend's house, a bright, sturdy little girl flew
out to him, and, without taking the least notice of the
visitors, almost smothered him with hugs and kisses. After
he had succeeded in shaking himself free of the little elf,
he turned laughing to Boisser^e, and said, " What say you
to that wild little thing .' " adding with evident pride,
" That's my youngest child, ' Maler,' the painter."
Boys' amusements were Amalie's • delight, and she
often wished she had been a boy herself. She used after-

IO SISTER AUGUSTINE.
wards to tell how long before she knew the words, she had
in her heart understood the meaning of the verse :
•' War ich ein Jager auf freier Flur I
Ein Stiick nur von einem Soldaten !
Ach, war ich ein Mann doch mindestens nur,
So wiirde der Himmel mir rathen."
And, indeed, wearing her hair cut short, as the fashion then
was, she looked very like a boy. In after years she often
let her hair hang loose, and would in play make her thick
black tresses fly round her. She was a perfect mistress
in the art of stilt-walking, and she practised skating with
much eagerness in a solitary corner on the Moselle.
Skating was at that time an unheard-of accomplishment
for -a girl, and Amalie was doubtless the only one in
Coblenz who indulged in such a pastime. Though she
was ashamed in the presence of lookers-on, she could not
give up her skating — " it was too nice.'' Of course, she
could not walk downstairs like other people ; that was too
great a trial for her patience. She preferred sliding down
the banisters, a habit she continued even after she was
grown up.
Clemens Brentano, who was in the habit of coming to the
Lasaulxs', used to be horrified at the holes and tears which
careless Amalie brought home in her dresses from school
and the playground, and preached many a sermon to her
on her wildness, prophesying that nothing good ever came
of children like her. When she began to cry, he would
repent of his having teazed her, and add : " Now listen, you
little black huzzy ! I tell you what I said to your mother :
' Frau Jean Claude, don't be anxious about Maler ; the
worst children always make the best men and women.'

childhood — FAMILY. 1 1
Do you hear .' Now go and wash your eyes, and don't
let it be known that you were crying." When she came
back he would look at her and say, " You have washed
them, have you } No one would have thought it, for
they are still as black as mine ! Fie ! we both ought to
be ashamed of ourselves, for having such black eyes ! "
And with that she would again begin to cry over Clemens
Brentano's eyes and her own, that no amount of washing
could render less black. Her friend would then lose any
little patience he had, and, stamping his foot, cry, "Frau
Jean Claude, your Maler is a horrid cry-baby! " and, taking
up his hat and stick, would depart without saying good
bye. It can well be believed that Amalie had no sympathy
with the pietistic, almost mystical, religious views of her
elder sister. After the latter had become a nun, a friend
said jokingly to the child, " Who knows .' perhaps you
will go into a convent too ! " Amalie indignantly answered,
" I'd sooner jump over the garden wall into the Moselle!"
Her parents at that time lived in the Bassenheimer Hof,
where her father had for twenty years a house rent free,
but in return for that, he had to build at his own expense
the wing which runs out to the street. A few years after
Amalie's birth, the family house had passed into the hands
of a brother-in-law, and in 1833 it was sold to the Dietz
family. The Bassenheimer Hof is situated in the most in
teresting part of the town, which then lay facing not the
Rhine but the Moselle, as the principal river of the district
of Treves. There " the town was full of inhabitants, and
stately with decorated houses." The old castle of the

12 SISTER' AUGUSTINE.
electors is still to be seen, with its turrets, and bay-
windows, built by a mighty archbishop in the thirteenth
century, who never even in a dream imagined that it would
ever be converted into a tin-plate factory. There, too, is the
bridge over the Moselle, the work of Baldwin of Liitzelburg,
" as fair as could be found in German land, with thirteen
vaulted arches;'' and the old market-place, with its merchants'
house, with the Biirresheimer Hof, and the Florinskirche,
and .many old proud mansions of the aristocracy, whose
proprietors are either dead or brought to penury by hard
times or their own extravagance, and have been scattered
over the earth. There, too, was the so-called " little garden
of paradise," so mysteriously attractive to the children, and
into which they cast many a longing look. The historical
memories had, doubtless, less attractions for the children
than the splendid playground and sporting-green which
the whole locality surrounding their parental house afforded
them. When old enough, she was sent to one of the girls'
schools, which were characterized more by indulgence
than by learning. That of the two old Fraulein von
Brahm, who had been nuns in a convent then secularized,
was considered the best. They were very amiable ladies,
but their attainments, particularly as regarded ortho
graphy, were rather questionable. The school of the sisters
Saarburg, the daughters of an officer in Treves, on the other
hand, was distinguished for the remarkable knowledo-e of
geography imparted. The existence of the antipodes was
especially thoroughly discussed and illustrated by means
of an ink-bottle : " We live up above, and they down below
the earth then turns round, and we livsr down below, and

CHILDHOOD — FAMILY. 1 3
they up above." When the children, in a state of conster
nation, asked the natural question, why the inhabitants
of the globe did not fall off", the teacher, somewhat put
out, informed them that people were not very clear on that
point, and then began at the beginning again.
One of these schools — that of Pastor Cornell — Amalie
attended for several years. In February, 1830, when about
fourteen, she entered Stein's school as one of its first
scholars. There, as at home, she was everybody's favourite,
and, small as she was, her firmness of character gave her a
sort of authority over all with whom she came in contact.
One of her fellow-scholars gives the following description
of her : " There she sat, perfectly upright, her head slightly
raised, her grave, dark eyes fixed on the teacher. And
when ' Maler ' was annoyed at anything and ' put on her
face,' we were all frightened and did whatever she wished."
The proprietor and head-master of the school was a
converted Jew, a very respectable man, who undertook not
only to further the educational progress of his pupils, but
also took an interest in their amusement. His authority
remained unimpaired till the year 1848 ; then the girls
rebelled, and insisted on the "right of chattering" and
other liberties during school hours. The good man was
weak enough to consent, and henceforth his authority was
irrevocably gone.
Among Amalie's teachers, the most prominent was
Seydel, who gave instruction in religion, the friend and
adviser of Amalie Meerveldt, in common with whom he
directed the orphanage at St. Barbara. In his early years
he had been an officer, and, under Liitzow, had gone
through the Wars of Independence. After many years, the

14 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Russian Government resolved to present him with an order,
in recognition of his military services, but "Lieutenant"
Seydel was sought in vain. When at last he was dis
covered, as a priest, he happened to be involved in a law
suit, and was about to undergo a term of imprisonment ;
but, as it was thought highly improper at one and the
same time to imprison a man and invest him with an
order, he was allowed to go free and received his honours.
Seydel hated the Protestants with all the warm zeal of a
convert, and sometimes gave expression to his feelings in
a rather original manner. Once at dinner, when he was
fulminating against "this Protestantism, which Germany
had been gradually devouring for the last three hundred
years," he struck his fist so violently on the table, that
though the great heresy remained unscathed, a number
of glasses were smashed. The old Bishop, Von Hommer,
held up his finger, smiling : " Gently, gently, sergeant ! "
In his sermons, too, he gesticulated so violently, that some
times his little black collar was sent flying down among
the congregation. As a teacher of religion he had perhaps
more zeal than knowledge, but his short pithy sentences
often made a deep impression on his pupils, and Amalie,
who still attended his classes after she had left school,
often spoke of his words on almsgiving : " When you have
nothing else to bestow, you can always give love"
In Stein's school, as in the others, the girls were not
oppressed with too much knowledge ; and yet, on the other
hand, the power of independent thought was not driven
out of them by excessive study. Accordingly, the educa
tion which Amalie received was simple and soon ended.
What influenced her more than anything she learned

CHILDHOOD— FAMILY. 1 5
from books, were the impressions she received from her
whole surroundings, first in the narrow circle of her home,
and then among her friends and relations. Her father
tended and developed the natural artistic talent she pos
sessed, and she often looked with pride and astonishment
on the plans he drew and put into execution. Deeper and
more lasting, however, was the influence which the whole
views and character of her eldest brother produced upon
her. She was ten years old when he left home to study
philology and philosophy, first in Bonn and then in
Munich ; but his visits during the holidays, and his letters
home, gave her a whole world of new thoughts and
pictures, which she received with all the greater pleasure,
that she was especially and deeply attached to this brother.
The ideas of the beautiful and the noble were principally
awakened and sustained by his enthusiastic descriptions.
After the completion of his studies at the university,
Ernst Lasaulx spent some years in travelling, first of all
among some Austrian convents, in search of the writings
of Meister Eckehard. He spent the winter of 1830 in
Vienna, where he formed a friendship with Giinther and
Emanuel Veith. He next proceeded by way of Styria
and Trieste to Rome, where he devoted himself to a
thorough study of the Fathers. It was here that his love
for, and appreciation of, the beauty and grandeur of art
were awakened, which he kept throughout life, and which
laid the foundation to all his future occupations. After
spending two years in Italy, in lively intercourse with
Bunsen, Platner, Cornelius, Koch, Overbeck, and Charles
Letellier, he joined the train of the young King Otto of
Greece, and went to Athens. From thence he proceeded

l6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
to Constantinople, and by Smyrna, Rhodes, and Cyprus to
Palestine : " For," he wrote, " a natural feeling attracts
man to the spot rendered sacred by the traces of the
Redeemer. Although myself an unworthy descendant of
pious ancestors, yet I have inherited something of their
spirit, and I have always believed that the sight of the
earthly Jerusalem would increase the desire for the
heavenly, which is our common home ; for when he that
is freeborn lives in slavery, he feels all the more keenly
that of which he is deprived." His letters describe this
pilgrimage in rich and enthusiastic language, from that
moment when he first beheld " the pinnacles of the City
of Peace," until the day of his farewell to Golgotha and
the summit of Olivet. He tells of his visit to the
Holy Sepulchre, his wanderings about Bethlehem and
Jericho ; in poetic words he describes Oriental life, the
charm of the starry skies of the South, and the sadness
and melancholy which, like the fulfilment of an old curse,
rests on the land, the inhabitants of which are scattered
among all the nations of the earth, restless and homeless.
When such letters reached home they were eagerly read
by relations and friends, and even Amalie would often
pause in her joyousness, to think on the pictures which
her brother's descriptions brought before her mind. She
sent forth many a longing thought beyond the narrow
limits of her Rhenish home, and she carefully preserved
the dried leaves and flowers which her brother picked
for her in remembrance of these sacred spots.

CHAPTER IL
FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEARS: 183O-184O.
The house of the Lasaulx family, though not strictly
speaking a sociable one, was still the centre for the large
circle of friends and relations, both in and around Coblenz
amid whom Amalie passed the bright joyous days of her
youth. The only one of her father's family who had remained
in Coblenz was Christine, the wife of Johann Nepomuk,
Longard, who was born in 1790, and was a legal official of
high standing. Their house was the ideal of a Rhenish
home, such as will live long in the memory of those who
knew it. A simple and earnest piety gave the tone to every
day life which was closely connected with the course of the
ecclesiastical year. Church festivals were kept with all the
ceremonials peculiar to Coblenz, and a lively interest was
taken in all ecclesiastical subjects, all the more as many
friends of the family had taken Orders. Another feature of
the Longards' house was its hospitality and the Rhenish
light-heartedness which pervaded it. Visitors came from
far and near, and all received a hearty welcome. Many a
one, experiencing the truth of the well-known popular song,
"Beware of the Rhine" ("Das Leben ging ihnen zu
lieblich ein "), was loth to leave the hospitable roof.

1 8 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
The master of the house was a quiet, honourable man,
who spoke but little in the course of daily life, yet he was
beloved by all for his warm, kind-hearted manner, and the
young were especially devoted to him. He had been sent as
a boy to the Lyceum at Bonn, but in a fit of homesickness
ran away from it, and thus his education in Coblenz had
been chiefly French. Yet he by no means shared the
French sympathies of many of the inhabitants of the town.
During the Wars of Independence he had joined the army
as a volunteer, and he was in no way opposed to the new
political position of the Rhenish provinces. " Government
means well," he used to remark ; " it is a pity it sends us
the wrong people.'' For many years a true native of the
Rhineland considered the receiving of a Prussian decora
tion as at best only a doubtful honour ; and thus Longard
one day said to his family, much dismayed, " I have met
with a misfortune ! " which meant that he had received
the decoration of the Red Eagle. He was a well-read
man, and his leisure hours were often spent in the study of
his favourite authors, Cicero and Sir Walter Scott. He
was an excellent pedestrian, even up to the last year of his
life ; his habits in this, and in all other matters, were marked
by pedantic regularity. For example, he spent his
holidays for many years in succession in the Vosges,
although constantly advised to visit other countries ; so
much so, that Guido Gorres used to remark that when he
appeared in Alsace, people would say, " It's time to make
the sauerkraut in Strassburg, for Herr Longard has
come ! "
The life of Longard's house was Christine von Lasaulx,
born in 1797, who kept her beautiful and distinguished looks

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS— EARLY YEARS. 1 9
even to her old age. Her carriage was dignified, and Clemens
Brentano, whose tongue was as ready as his eye was sharp
for the weaknesses of his friends, used jokingly to declare
that he could never pardon her for not even once giving
him an opportunity of making fun of her. Though of
delicate health, she conducted her household with firmness
and kept it in exemplary order. In all matters she was
considered the highest authority, and from her judgment
there was no appeal, though her strictness prevented her
from ever being popular with young people.
The Longards' house was the centre of social inter
course for all friends and acquaintances. Nearly every
day, whilst the family was at dinner, Jean Claude would
come in to pay a short visit, and often began some " fine
new story, not exactly suited for a dinner-table." The
general opposition which was raised to his story, made it
all the more impossible for him to keep it to himself
Smiling and chuckling, he would await the close of the
repast, and then, unable to contain himself any longer, he
would come out with one of those old Treves stories,
questionable indeed in taste, but full of the humour of
the good old times. He himself enjoyed them all the
more that he could laugh at his own jokes, till the tears
came to his eyes. He had a particular talent for finding
out all such stories, in the building-yard, in the workshop,
in the post-carriage — everywhere indeed, and his own
imagination always added the best part. Sometimes, how
ever, he was a perfectly silent visitor, and would come and
go without saying a single word.
Every evening the house was a meeting-place for a
number of old acquaintances, whose friendship dated back

20 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
as far as the days of their fathers and great-grandfathers.
The other brothers and sisters of Jean Claude kept up a
close connection with the farnily at Coblenz, and often
came on a visit to the Longards.
The youngest brother, Peter von Lasaulx, lived nearest ;
he was an official at Dierdorf, in the then duchy of Nassau,
where, according to the customs of that time, he lived
something in the style of a pasha, and in almost perfect
independence. His small nephews and nieces from Cob
lenz always returned from a visit to their "uncle Dierdorf"
under the impression that he was a very mighty person
age. He was to outward appearance a dry, stiff" lawyer ;
whilst his wife, a most original character, made it her
business to keep the family ever well provided with new
stories. After his father's death, Peter von Lasaulx came
into possession of Lahneck and the farm of Arnstein, the
management of which he took into his own hand. The
property, however, in later years, he sold again.
The . elder brother, Adam, lived in Adenau, a small
country town in the Eifel. He was electoral canon of St.
Florin, and had, in the course of time, become an excellent
keeper of the royal forests. His humour and originality
made him a general favourite. His nephews and nieces
from Coblenz liked nothing better than to go for a short
visit to him, where they enjoyed perfect freedom in rambling
about, amid the .somewhat sombre mountain scenery of the
Eifel. His children in their turn came to Coblenz from time
to time, and wild as " Maler " was, she still knew how to
profit by the example of her country cousins. Hubert, one
of the forester's boys, for example, seeing in the Lasaulxs'
house a waxed floor for the first time in his life, considered

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEAR.S. 21
it would make a first-rate sHde, and immediately made use
of it as such, with his heavy-nailed mountain shoes, and
Amalie was not long in following his example.
The sisters of the Lasaulx family lived at a greater
distance from Coblenz than the brothers. The elder,
Elizabeth, was married to the Privy Councillor Umpfen-
bach, at Dusseldorf; Amalie to an Austrian officer. Captain
Mohr, at Vienna. Notwithstanding the long distance, the
latter often came to Coblenz with her children ; and her
niece Amalie, who was also her godchild, was particularly
attached to her.
In the old town of Rhense, about four miles above
Coblenz, Captain Mohr possessed a country house contain
ing many old family portraits, and inhabited only by a
farmer and his family. Sometimes during the summer the
little daughters of Herr Longard would go .there for a day
or two, under the charge of an older cousin Lasaulx. The
girls kept house there on their own account, enjoying the
boating on the Rhine and the rambles on the neighbouring
villages and mountains.
A close intercourse was kept up with the Gorres family
in Munich and their Coblenz relatives. Although neither
Joseph Gorres nor his wife ever returned to the old home,
they sent many a friend to visit it. Among these were
Philipps, Kaulbach, Boisseree, Steingass ; Montalembert,
too, on his way through Germany, stopped at Coblenz and
spent a day at the Longards'.
Guido Gorres, who, on his wedding tour with his young
wife, visited his relations on the Rhine, stayed a whole
summer and autumn at the Longards', before he could
make up his mind to return to Munich. It was on this

22 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
occasion that, alluding to their common ancestors, he wrote
on Palm Sunday in an album of one of the Coblenz
cousins : — "Uns Alle treibt ein inn' res Mahnen
Dem hohen Schloss vom Berge zu,
Dem alten Stammschloss unsrer Ahnen ;
Das lasst der Seele keine Ruh'.
Im Himmel glanzen seine Zinnen,
Drum frisch hinan mit Rittermuth !
Gott segne mild dein kiihn Beginnen ;
Im Himmelsschlosse ruht sich gut !
" May we one day meet above, and there receive a palm branch ! "
Among the remarkable persons in Coblenz during
Amalie's youth — persons of no small influence on all with
whom they came in contact — one of the most remarkable
was Clemens Brentano, the poet.
He spent his early years in the house of his grandfather
La Roche, at Ehrenbreitstein, and had been the school
companion of Joseph Gorres and Franz and Jean Claude
Lasaulx. By-and-by, after having given up the calling of a
merchant, so distasteful to him, he had led an entirely reck
less life, and had fallen into many spiritual errors. He had
lived by turns in Heidelberg, Berlin, Frankfort, Coblenz,
Prague, and Vienna, everywhere mixing with men of the
highest intellect, entering into their views, and often deeply
impressed and carried away by them, without, however,
their retaining any hold on him. He had been carried
away by the great events and remarkable movements,
political, ecclesiastical, and scientific, of his time, but his
active mind and his glowing imagination were not yet
under proper discipline. He was at that time like a wan
dering star, brilliant, restless, and uncertain, and exciting
all with whom he came in contact. At the house of his

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEARS. 23
brother-in-law Savigny, he became acquainted with Sailer,
who, by his piety and benevolence, made a deep impression
on him, and for the first time brought him under the
soothing and conciliatory influences of Christianity.
His past life rose up before him, with all its mistakes
and worthlessness, ahd this grave, almost melancholy frame
of mind was much increased by a residence in Westphalia.
After paying a visit there to Sailer's friends, Overberg and
Stolberg, he spent some years at Diilmen, in order to write
down Anna Katherine Emmerich's '' Meditations on the
Sufferings of Christ.''
He afterwards spent some years at Coblenz. Joseph
Gorres wrote about him in his blunt manner : " The old
demon of ennui has, to all appearance, again laid hold
of Brentano. As long a's Anna Emmerich lived he was
stationary, because he was ever hoping, through her, to
spy out something about the other world ; now she is
dead, and so he begins his roaming and his restless ways
again. However, it does not matter, though he gives a
poking up to the set of snobs hanging about the casino
at Coblenz, proving to them that there are other species of
fools in the world besides themselves."
At Coblenz Brentano was the guest of the Dietz family,
and the intercourse with the Lasaulxs and Longards and
others inclined him to prolong his stay there. His powerful
intellect and the rich store of recollections of his changeful
life gave him great influence over all with whom he came
in contact, although after his residence in Westphalia he
never again succeeded in shaking off" the gloom that had
settled on his spirits.
He had never been really amiable, and his sharp wit

24 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
was so "little under his own control, that he often deeply
hurt the feelings of his dearest friends. However undisci
plined himself, he had a most arbitrary way of meddling
with other people's children, carrying them off" to one board
ing-school or the other, in favour of which he just happened
to be prepossessed ; yet, strange to say, he never attempted
anything of the kind with the Lasaulxs.
Christian Brentano was a far more amiable man than
his brother Clemens. He, too, often came to his friends at
Coblenz, and was particularly fond of the children, for
whom he made many clever toys.
The circle in which Amalie grew up, however, was, on
the whole, a very exclusive one, into which strangers found
difficulty in gaining admission. Only a very few of the
latter had any intimacy with the Lasaulx and Longard
families ; amongst these, however, were the Briiggemanns
and Huenes.
In the autumn of 183 1 Briiggemann had been sent
to Coblenz as a Government official. His wife was the
sister of Peter Cornelius the painter, and her sister, Jetta
Cornelius, lived with them ; she was the particular favourite
of the children, whose hearts she won by telling them fairy
tales. Carl Cornelius, a young relation of Frau Briigge
mann, with whose family he came to Coblenz, belonged,
along with the sons and daughters of the Lasaulxs and
Longards, to the circle of friends of Amalie's youth.
During the winter of 1831-32 he and Amalie had French
lessons together, from which, however, they derived more
amusement than instruction.
The other family which, though not belonging to
Coblenz, gained an entrance into this exclusive circle, was

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEARS. 25
that of Lieutenant-General von Huene. He had much in
common with Lasaulx, having, as an officer of Engineers,
been long occupied with military buildings in the neigh
bourhood of Coblenz. As a young officer he had come
to the Rhine soon after the Wars of Independence, and
had not left it again, with the exception of a few years spent
at Breslau. In the year i8i7,hehad been entrusted with
the building of the fortress of Ehrenbreitstein, as the ruins
of the old fortifications had to be pulled down. The new
structure, looking down with its towering battlements, its
wide inner courts and fortifications, upon the Rhine — " a
structure by which Prussia gives proof that she has set her
foot on the shores of the Rhine, never to leave them
again " — was completed in the course of eleven, years. The
builder of the Ehrenbreitstein was one of the few men
who, at a time when public feeling at the Rhine was still
deeply embittered, and people in a high degree suspicious ¦
of all that was Prussian, understood how to gain the hearts
of the inhabitants, and to make them more reconciled to
Prussian rule. Possessing a lively temperament and full
of scientific interests, he had much of the Rhenish charac
ter, and his unassuming, amiable disposition gained him
many friends, not in Coblenz alone, but throughout the
Rhineland. Although Clementine von Lasaulx was the
chief friend of the Huenes, still Amalie was the decided
favourite of the master of the house.
A third family who, coming as strangers to the Rhine,
were on intimate terms with Amalie's circle, was that of
the Mendelssohns from Berlin. The youngest son, George
Benjamin, had come to Coblenz as a young man, and his
friendship with Joseph Gorres had brought him into close

26 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
contact with the Lasaulxs. His father having, in 1819,
bought an estate — Horchheim, near Coblenz — he was often
there, and by-and-by settled at the Rhine for good, by
becoming professor at the university of Bonn. Jean
Claude von Lasaulx was one of his dearest and most
intimate friends, although they had not much social inter
course. As to Amalie and her brothers and sisters, the house
of their uncle Longard ever was and continued to be most
attractive to them, — in fact, their second home. It was
there they enjoyed all the social pleasures of youth, feeling
more at their ease than in their own home. There, as no
where else, could Amalie give free vent to her exuberant
spirits, and nowhere was she more stimulated in mind and
heart than at her uncle's hospitable hearth, to which her
father brought all strangers of note, men of learning and
artists, who visited him at Coblenz.
Many pleasant social meetings took place there, and
many a merry picnic party started from thence up the
mountains, and to the ruined castles on their summits. The
1 6th of May, Longard's " name-day," was a high festival
for young and old. Then an excursion was usually made
to the Kiihkopf or to the heights of Mallendar, or else to
the then still ruined castle of Stolzenfels. After picking
the woodroof in the woods for the " May-wine," the hero
of the day began the first song, in which the others gaily
joined, making the valleys resound with melody.
One of the most attractive spOts in the neighbourhood,
and to which the merry party often resorted, was the farm
Be.sselich, about four miles distant from Ehrenbreitstein.
It was situated on a hill, and formerly had been a convent.

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEARS. 27
and its present proprietor. Von Stedmann, was an intimate
friend of the Longards, Lasaulxs, and Briiggemanns. A
peculiar charm rests on this lovely spot, whose history
reaches far back into the Middle Ages, and whose possessor
appeared to have inherited the spirit of kindly hospitality
peculiar to the old monks.
Amalie used to return from those excursions in the sum
mer evenings, arm-in-arm with her young companions, and,
joining heartily in their songs, was herself ever the gayest
of the gay. She also took great pleasure in theatricals,
both herself and her companions finding intense enjoyment
in dressing up as knights and ladies, or else in appearing
on a stage of their own construction as " noble robbers."
Even the pet dog was taught tp act the part of a gentle
lamb, carefully wrapped in cotton wool.
She heartily enjoyed the golden days of her youth.
As she grew up, her attempts at poetry were carried on
in just as secret a manner as was the skating in former
days. She privately wrote little verses, which doubtless
she never confided to any one. Being asked about them
in later years, she replied, laughing and evading a direct
answer : " Who has not written poetry at eighteen ! " She
never danced. The merry little dancing parties at the
Longards' did not take place uhtil the daughters of the
family, who were rather younger than Amalie, were grown
up, and in her own home there never was anything of the
kind. She was present at only one ball in her life, of
which she said, " I was at Ems with my father, and there
was a ball in the Curhaus. I stood at the open door, and
looking in at the throng, I said to myself, ' Have they all
gone mad ? ' "

28 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
As she grew up, Amalie was remarkably quick and
useful in all household employments. She had skill for
everything that came in her way, and her hand was light
and steady, so that it was a pleasure to see her at work.
Her brother Hermann often used to tell, in later years,
what a treat it had been to see his sister prepare the bread
and butter. She herself would gaily relate what difficulty
she at first had found in fulfilling the duties of a grown-up
daughter — she would have liked to prolong her childhood
beyond its natural limits. The first time she was left in
sole charge of the dinner, she was determined to gain great
credit, and in order that nothing should be neglected, she
seated herself in the kitchen. Her mother was away from
home, and the servant occupied in another part of the
house. Unfortunately, however, an interesting book had
come into her way that morning, which she intended only
taking a peep at, whilst looking after the cooking. But
she soon became so engrossed by it, that she never looked
up till her father came home at noon, and tore open the
kitchen- window in a fright, to let out the dense smoke by
which she was surrounded. The dinner, meanwhile, had
been reduced to cinders, and a dish of salad was the only
thing which she brought to table, with no small shame and
confusion. Her father, who sometimes was very absent-
minded, particularly in household matters, asked in sur
prise what had become of the dinner ; to which she replied
reproachfully, " Why, father, you surely know ! " It was
her first and last mishap of the kind.
Amalie's happy youth was doomed to close with a
deep grief She had refused several offers of marriage,
agreeable to the wishes of her family, and her parents had

FRIENDS AND RELATIONS — EARLY YEARS. 29
been so annoyed at her behaviour, that even at table they
had not spoken to her for weeks and even months together.
When one of her aunts accused her of haughtiness, she
replied warmly, " I am not haughty ; there is somebody
whose shoes I would clean if he asked me ! " That some
body, perhaps, never had an idea of the attachment, which
she kept all the more carefully hidden in her heart, as his
attentions were directed to her sister, Clementine. Later
on, Amalie completely conquered her first attachment, and
became engaged to be married to a young doctor. Her
parents were not pleased with the match, yet they finally
gave their consent.
The gentleman to whom she had become engaged was
not a very likeable person ; but her imagination, having
a strong tendency to idealize, adorned him with most
excellent qualities. Suddenly some selfish, reckless remark
would open her eyes to the true character of the man she
so much admired and loved. Her own idealistic views
were wounded to the quick, and her grief almost amounted
to despair. She used to walk up and down her room for
hours, striking her head against the wall, and she eventually
broke off the engagement.
The violence of her emotion proved too much for her
physical strength. She had a severe attack of typhus
fever, which brought her to the verge of the grave. After
she recovered, a deep seriousness had taken possession of
her soul, and henceforth became the chief feature in her
character. During this sad time Seydel proved him
self her friend, and did all he could, by the power of
sympathy, to dispel the cloud of melancholy that , had
gathered on her spirit. " I am quite well again, and in

30 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
one respect quite happy," she wrote to her aunt in Vienna,
December, 1836; "and though, according to the opinion
of the world, I have sacrificed all that makes life worth
living, yet what I have gained amply makes up for my
loss." In order to give another turn to her thoughts, her
parents allowed her to go on a visit to her brother Ernst,
who had been professor at the university of Wiirzburg since
1835, and had married the daughter of the philosopher,
Franz von Baader. If, however, Amalie's parents hoped
by such means to win back their daughter's interest in the
world and her former mode of life, they were to be disap
pointed. Her brother's house was opposite the hospital, so
that she was able to watch the many sick persons of all
descriptions who were brought to it, as well as the dead who
were carried from it. Even at that early period she felt
the desire of regaining, amid such surroundings as these,
the happiness she had lost. She often, in later years, re
lated how her fingers used to tingle with the longing to
help those sufferers. By the ruin of her youthful hopes a
great and lasting void had been created in her heart ; life
appeared to her desolate and worthless, and her active,
energetic spirit sought in vain 'for satisfaction. Owing
to the painful experiences through which she had passed,
the gay life at the Rhine now appeared to her far less
attractive, and she felt unable to take the same interest in
artistic and scientific occupations as before. Other sub
jects, different indeed from those that formerly engrossed
her, now began to rivet her attention — the sufferings of her
fellow-creatures, and the claims of Christian charity ; and
thus gradually she entered upon an entirely new phase of
existence.

CHAPTER IIL
CHARITABLE INSTITUTIONS IN COBLENZ — ENTRANCE ON
CONVENT LIFE."
During the happy years of Amalie's youth, a number of
Christian men and women in Coblenz had formed a society
for the purpose of alleviating the temporal and spiritual
wants of the poor. The destitution caused by the war
and by the famine of 1815 had been great, and inundations
and epidemics had occasioned great misery and called
forth the exercise of Christian charity.
The centres of these efforts were the house of Coun
cillor Dietz and the Orphanage of St. Barbara, founded by
Countess Amalie Meerveldt, who became its first Superior.
Several benevolent ladies entered into intimate relations
with her, and lived a life of work and prayer, in many
respects similar to that of nuns, without actually taking
the vows, for there were no nuns in Coblenz at that time.
Several zealous members of the clergy, like Seydel and
Corneli, favoured those somewhat strict views ; so earnest,
indeed, were they, that the latter, in one of his sermons,
gave it as his opinion that in the whole of Coblenz there
were " but three persons fit to go to heaven." His hearers
thereupon ironically designated the preacher himself and a

32 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
pious couple, intimate friends of Corneli, as the favoured
three. In the year 1817 a ladies' association was founded at
Coblenz, to provide, on an adequate scale, for the wants of
the sick, the poor, and the orphans. Amongst its members
were to be found some like Frau Briiggemann and Frau
Longard, whose views were less narrow and less inclined to
monasticism. Clemens Brentano, on coming to Coblenz, took an
active part in all these charitable labours. He adorned
them with all the charm of his poetic mind, and wrote
many of his sweetest verses in praise of Christian charity.
Besides the ladies' association, he particularly gave his
full sympathy and warm support to the hospital founded
by his friend Dietz. The building of this hospital was
finished in 1825, and in the same year its first patients
were admitted. The nursing was done by three ladies,
whose zeal and interest in their work made up for their
want of experience. Several young ladies of Coblenz also
volunteered their services in the hospital, where they felt
themselves as if within a charmed circle, cut off" from the
world. Brentano had visited similar establishments in France,
and had there become acquainted with the valuable ser
vices rendered by the Sisters of Charity, who still con
tinued their labours in that country, although the Govern
ment in many ways oppressed them. Through his earnest
advice, the authorities at Coblenz decided on entrustino-
the care of the new hospital to the Sisters of Mercy belono-
ing to the " Congregation " of St. Charles Borromeo of
Nancy.

CHARITABLE INSTITUTIONS IN COBLENZ. 33
This Congregation, founded at Nancy in 1652, had
its rules from the Abbot of Estival, Epiphanius Louys,
and was named after the Hospital of St. Charles, in which
it first began its labours. It first gained a footing in
Lorraine and the surrounding country. During the period
of the Revolution the Congregation was broken up by
order of the existing Government, and the Lady Superior,
and many other Sisters who refused to take an oath of
loyalty to the constitution, were thrown into prison, whilst
others, scattered throughout France and the neighbouring
countries, remained in hiding, and sought quietly to prac
tise the duties of their calling. This state of affairs
continued for a period of eleven years, when at last better
days dawned, and the members of the Order could again
assemble. In 1807 the Congregation sent representatives
to the General Chapter of Sisters of Charity, which Napo
leon had summoned to meet in Paris. At that time the
Congregation consisted of 55 houses and 231 Sisters.
In 181 1 the nuns were first called to Germany, to the
hospital at Treves. Several gentlemen of Coblenz accord
ingly went to Treves, in order to request the Sisters there
to undertake the management of the newly founded hos
pital. The Lady Superior, after making the customary
contract, arrived at Coblenz in 1826, along with the
necessary number of Sisters, and with them, according to
a memorandum of Dr. Ulrich, the chief physician, " the
spirit of love and order entered the house."
Nannchen Lasaulx had been one of the young girls
who from time to time had volunteered their services in the
hospital, and her experience there, as well as the influence
of the highly attractive society of the Countess Meerveldt,

34 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
were, not unnaturally, the cause of her having from early
youth the ardent desire of devoting her life to the work of
a Sister of Charity. When hardly eighteen, she was taken
by her brother to the parent house at Nancy, where she
took the vows. She, however, only remained in this Con
gregation for a few years ; and then, by special desire of
the Bishop, she became Superior of the much stricter Order
of St. Elizabeth, in Luxemburg, to save it from complete
extinction. Amalie, too, becoming through her friends the Dietzes
acquainted with hospital life and the self-sacrificing
labours of a Sister of Mercy, soon felt the wish to devote
her life to works of Christian charity. The more she
thought on the subject, the stronger the impression grew,
that this, of all others, was the path which God had marked
out for her, and that the breaking off of her engagement
had removed the chief hindrance to her recognizing her
true vocation. She was strongly persuaded in her own
mind that she had some special task in life to perform ; and
once under that impression, it never again left her, but
followed her, as she said, " all the day long, like the remem
brance of a sin."
Her nature was much too healthy for her ever to turn
to the convent as a place of refuge for her wounded feel
ings. Consequently the project of entering an Order was
not immediately connected with the disappointment she
had previously experienced. " God Himself gave me my
vocation," she once said to a friend. She long kept her
plan secret. " Better tell it to no one," she said, " and let
it be known to God alone." It was not convent life so
much as the occupation which it offered that attracted her.

ENTRANCE ON CONVENT LIFE. 35
She felt great difficulty in coming to a final resolution.
She dearly loved her father, and life at Coblenz possessed
many interests and attractions, which, in spite of her
somewhat limited education,^ she could fully appreciate.
Besides, she well knew how to prize the pleasant society of
a large circle of friends and relations, and the perfect free
dom she enjoyed in her own home ; and she was well
aware of the scenes of misery and wretchedness she would
be called upon to witness, and the intellectually narrow
minds with which she would have to associate. These
were contrasts capable of intimidating the bravest heart.
The mental struggle through' which she passed was indeed
a severe one, and the fact that Seydel, in whom she placed
the utmost confidence, was opposed to her wishes made it
much harder.
In order to put an end to the painful indecision which
tortured her, she hit on the rather curious idea to let
chance decide the matter. An old baker, a confirmed
drunkard and a notoriously bad character, used to pass
her home every morning. As often as she saw him,
she was filled with disgust and horror, and she deter
mined to make this man the test of her sincerity. She
would sometimes ask herself, as she saw him go by in
the morning, " Could I nurse this man if he were ill > "
Sometimes she would turn away in disgust from the very
thought of such a possibility, and come to the conclusion
that she was quite unfitted ever to be a Sister of Charity.
At another time, when his appearance was, perhaps, a little
less revolting than usual, she would think him hot so bad
after all ; and that, in a case of need, she might be able
to tend him. Thus her state of indecision condnued.

36 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
During this time she was in the habit of occasionally
calling on the Superior of the hospital, and offering to
perform any little services that might be required. One
day she said to her, "I have nothing very particular
just now for you to do ; but there is a dying man up
stairs, and the Sisters have not time to remain with him.
You might just go up to him and say a few pater
nosters, that he may not be left to die quite alone." The
Superior conducted her to the room, and left her there,
watching beside the sick man's bed. Amalie kept her
eyes shut, for she was afraid of being alone with him.
She repeated paternoster after paternoster, whilst the
sufferer groaned and sighed. At last she grew tired, and
as no Sister came to relieve her, curiosity prompted her
to .take a look at her patient. She approached him
timidly and curiously, and her feelings may be imagined
when she beheld the drunkard ! He had had a bad fall,
and had been carried in a dangerous condition to the
hospital, where he died that same day. This apparently
unimportant event made a deep impression on her ; and
she looked upon it as a special dispensation of Providence.
As far back as June, 1838, Amalie had applied for
admission to the parent house of the Sisters of Charity at
Nancy, and two years later she took the decisive step.
Had she asked her parents' permission, it was hardly pro
bable that they would have granted it, as they did not con
sider her character suitable to a convent, and they looked
upon her state of mind as partly resulting from her present
sorrow, and partly owing to the influence of Seydel. Be
sides, they were most unwilling to part with this daughter,
who, of all others, was the life and sunshine of the house.

ENTRANCE ON CONVENT LIFE. 37
Aware of this, and partaking of the reserve common to her
family, she did not again speak of her intentions. Dietz,
who had made the necessary inquiries at Nancy, provided
her with money for the journey, and she left home without
saying good-bye to any one. It was only after she had
entered the convent that she communicated with her
parents. A step such as this can only be explained by her having
for years past accustomed herself to consider it as a
necessity, so that she was irresistibly driven to act in a
manner to which the vigorous energy of the Lasaulx nature
had predisposed her. Her parents were deeply distressed,
and her father could not be easily brought to forgive her.

CHAPTER IV.
THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE: 184O-1849.
Amalie on taking the veil received the name of " Sister
Augustine," and began her convent life in the parent
house at Nancy, where she was trained to superintend
the dispensing department.
The Lady Superior at that time was Maria Placida
Bellanger, then an old lady of seventy-nine, who, during
the sixty years she had belonged to the Congregation,
had shared its hardest as well as its most glorious days.
It was she who, whilst yet young, during the Revolution,
defended her hospital at St. Di^ against a lawless band
who attacked it, and when the Sisterhood was almost
entirely dissolved and its members scattered, still con
tinued by night to visit and nurse the sick and poor.
The Government had even signed her death-warrant
and set a price on her head. When, many years later —
18 13- 1 81 5 — typhus was raging, and when fifty Sisters of
St. Charles Borromeo died through* infection, Sister
Placida took, with one other Sister, entire charge of a large
hospital, and her energy and Christian love proved sufficient
to the task.
The younger members of the Order looked up with

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. 39
wonder and admiration to this remarkable woman, who
was thus in every way so suited to fill them with enthusiasm
for their calling. The instructress of the novices also, whom
Sister Augustine loved and ever remembered with affection,
belonged, according to her description, to the good old
school, which had but little sympathy with all unnecessary
restrictions and pedantic bigotry in the convent. She used
to say to the young Sisters, " Children, the calling you
have chosen is truly hard enough — you need not try to
make it harder ; we have not been sent into the world to
make our life bitter 1 "
At the close of a three years' novitiate, final admission
into the Order takes place, but, according to original rule,
not before the person to be admitted has completed her
twenty-fourth year. This regulation, however, was abo
lished by Pope Pius IX. in 1859, in accordance with the
wish of the Lady Superior.
Sister Augustine, in taking the vows, in the presence
of the Bishop of Nancy, which bound her for life to
the Order, repeated the prescribed formula, which ran as
follows : — " I promise and vow before God never to leave
it, to live and to die within it, and for the rest of my life
to serve the poor and neglected sick, according to the
rules and statutes of the said Order. I vow never to con
sent to the Order giving up the work which I now engage
in, of caring for the sick poor, nor ever to forsake the
Order myself out of weariness, obstinacy, or longing for a
change of life. Should I ever do so, I submit to the
canonical punishment. In certification of this I give my
signature with my own hand."
After this, a golden wedding-ring was placed on her

40 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
finger, and the medal of the Order hung round her neck,
in proof of the indissoluble vows she had taken.
The rules which she had promised to submit to were
in substance as follows. Since Christian charity is the
foundation on which they rest, they begin with the
prefatory words — " Love is the perfection of every true
Christian, and of all Christianity ; to this point the law
and the prophets, as well as our Lord Jesus Christ."
The first article says that " Sisters whose calling is to
wait on the poor, to nurse the sick, and to be constantly
occupied with deeds of Christian charity, can spend but
little time in the outward forms of prayer. Accordingly
only a few simple devotional exercises are enjoined, and
these even may be set aside in cases of extreme need,
such, for instance, as times of epidemics."
But, again, the following article directs the entire life
of the Sisters to be, as it were, one continued, silent prayer,
which may well be united with active service in behalf of
the sick.
The third article recommends a frequent partaking of
the Holy Communion (on all Sundays and feast-days), in
order to find therein that comfort and peace of mind
which can make the Sisters happy in a condition such as
theirs, so full of toil and hardships.
" Should any Sister," the article continues, " go more or
less frequently to the Holy Communion than others, the
latter are in no wise to take notice of the fact, nor to make
it a subject of conversation."
Further, every Sister is directed, as far as her occu
pations permit, to withdraw from all intercourse with the
outer world during nine days every year, for the purpose
of prayer and meditation.

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. 4 1
After these directions a second chapter follows, con
taining regulations for the round of daily life. The pre
fatory words are : " The ordering of the whole life accord
ing to the rules of obedience, gives rest and peace to the
Christian soul."
The rules themselves were : " The hour of rising in
summer four, in winter five o'clock, followed by prayer,
meditation, and household occupations. Seven o'clock,
attendance at Mass, and afterwards breakfast". From eight
o'clock until the time of dinner (between eleven and twelve),
work in the house. After dinner a quarter of an hour's
recreation, to be spent cheerfully in each other's society.
From one to two o'clock, sewing in perfect silence, in order
that they might thus the better call to memory the Re
deemer. Again short devotional exercises and household
work until half-past seven, interrupted only by supper at
six o'clock. At half-past seven again an hour's recreation,
and after evening prayer and the reading of a passage
from the lives of the saints, or the Epistle and Gospel, all
should retire to rest at nine o'clock."
The third chapter treats of the duties of their common
convent life, and begins with the words^"The band of
unity in a society is that peace which arises from perfect
love. Sisters of Charity should remember that this love
is not founded on relationship, nor the bonds of friendship,
not on their coming from the same part of the country or
from the same town, nor any such-like circumstances, but on
the will of God, on their profession of the same faith, on the
same desire for Christian perfection, and the living under the
same rules. Accordingly, the Sisters are not to allow any
aversion or hatred towards each other to spring up in them

42 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
' with their knowledge and consent,' and no particular and
private friendships are to be tolerated within the Order."
These latter are prohibited as "the pestilence of common
life, the destroyers of that universal friendship the Sisters
ought to cultivate towards each other." They are patiently
to bear with one another's faults, not judging, either by
thought or mood, but rather, " as far as possible, to put a
good construction on all, and where that is impossible, to
leave judgment to God." They are to avoid "contra
diction, flattery, and taunting words, and to have sincere
respect for one another, in that they honour Christ in each
other." The fourth chapter treats of their food. It is to be
simple, but amply sufficient for the maintenance of such as
are called upon to live a very active life, and to go through
much labour.
The fifth chapter contains exhortations for working ;
the sixth prescribes their attire — " common, simple, modest,
and black in colour."
The seventh chapter treats of the vows. In regard to
obedience we find the following remarks : " Obedience is
a chief virtue of the members of an Order, for truly, without
it, no community could exist, but everything would get
into disorder and confusion.
"The Sisters having, once for all, made the costly
sacrifice of giving up their own judgment and will, they
ought, in the spirit of this vow, to fulfil their rules and
regulations, as well as their daily duties, with unswerving
faithfulness. They are to obey their Superiors in all things,
willingly, uprightly, and at once, as they would God
Himself, whose representatives these Superiors are, and

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. 43
who has given them power to' guide in His name those
entrusted to them."
Blind obedience, however, is not demanded in the
rules of the Order, for the article goes on to say, " The
general and local Ladies Superior should have regard to
"not ordering the Sisters to do anything against the rules,
or to exceed their strength. Should they treat a Sister
too harshly, or require anything contrary to rule, the Sister
has to obey, if the matter permits of no delay ; otherwise
she is permitted modestly and calmly to mention the
reasons preventing her fulfilling what she was ordered to
do. Whether then her request be regarded or not, she is to
remain perfectly calm. If it be refused, she is still permitted
to appeal to the Lady Superior, and, if necessary, even to
the Bishop."
The remaining rules treat of the special duties of par
ticular members — of the novices, the Superiors, the gate
keeper, the stewardess, etc. The directions for the reception
of novices are specially interesting. According to them,
none may be accepted who have been in any service, none
who are disfigured, or possessing any physical deformity.
Such also are excluded whose parents are not Christians, or
whose parents or grandparents have been publicly sentenced
to any disgraceful punishment.
Upon the whole, the rules of the Sisters of Charity are
simple and sensible, both in form and contents, but, by the
very grandeur of their simplicity, they leave ample scope to
the taste and imagination of the Superiors, who can either
enforce or add to and improve upon them, according to
personal inclination and the views at that time prevalent
in the Church.

44 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Sister Augustine was most conscientious in observance
of rules, though only respecting obedience as the means of
sustaining outward order.
During the first years of her convent life she had to
pass through many hard struggles before she succeeded
in bringing her peculiarly self-reliant nature within the
narrow limits of obedience which the Order drew around
her. " God alone knows," she wrote, " how excessively
hard I find the giving up of all personal freedom. How
often I have to seek help at the large chapel crucifix, in
order to hear from the Saviour's lips that He is not held a
prisoner there by the sharp nails, but by His infinite love
to humanity ! How needful for my passionate heart that
the fetters which bind it be wrought of that safne love to
my poor suff'ering brethren ! By that means alone can my
soul, with its constant yearning after independence, be kept
within the prescribed bounds. On entering the Order I
have, undoubtedly, given up my free will to the Lord in a
stricter sense than other Christians do ; and how have I to
struggle for strength, in order to be constantly victorious !
How must I watch over my sinful heart, to prevent its
stretching forth a sacrilegious hand to retract the once-
offered sacrifice ! How fierce the battle, day by day, find
ing perhaps neither rest nor peace, until death takes the
weapon from my cold hand, and lays me down at last to
quiet sleep ! "
She found it difficult, too, in the beginning, to retain
her cheerfulness and equability of temper, amid so many
unwonted sights of human misery and the exerdon of
constant occupation.
At first she felt almost overpowered by the new im-

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. 45
pressions surrounding her, but " God and her happy
thoughtlessness," as she expressed herself, soon helped
her to shake off" her depression. She learnt to build up a
world of thought, independent of the influences at work
around her, and she succeeded in retaining a lively in
terest for much that lay outside the convent walls. She
gradually accustomed herself to look upon the externals
of convent life, as far as they were distasteful to her, as
the price she paid for a vocation, which she did not regard
as a duty merely, but which she loved from the very
bottom of her heart. In her letters she repeatedly says,
" The greatest gift of God's grace, granted me in this life,
is His having made me a Sister of Charity."
Possibly most of her fellow-Sisters equalled her in
the joyous and conscientious zeal with which she fulfilled
the duties of her calling, but she excelled them all in
special interest in every single patient. She took each
to her heart, however great their number, and however
trying the work she had on hand. Their spiritual as well
as their physical wants — everything, indeed, that concerned
those under her care — had a place in her heart.
" I deceive myself," she wrote, " when I fancy that the
limits of my calling are as narrow as the four walls of my
hospital. One only is greater than the heart — God on
His throne of heavenly light. The human heart, then, can
encompass the most distant boundaries of the earth : how
much more must that of a Sister of Charity embrace all
and all, bringing the distance near ! The highest happiness,
as well as the deepest sorrows, of her fellow-men must ever
strike the chords of her soul with mighty power. The
griefs and joys of others must be to her as her own ; and

46 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
even where all that is most sacred to her — the doctrines of
Christianity — separates her from her fellow-man, still must
her heart go forth to bless, in richest love. As the arms of
the Redeemer on the cross are uplifted for all ages, thus
must her heart be ready to embrace all in that active self-
sacrificing love, which knows no distinction between pre
sent, past, and future ! "
Sister Augustine's position, even in the early years
of her convent life, was a somewhat isolated one, for with
those simple old Sisters, with some of whom she yet be
came personally acquainted at Nancy, the grand, free spirit
of the Order passed away. Although, even during her
novitiate, she had been sometimes made aware of this in
a painful degree, yet it was not so much during her.
residence at Nancy, as in the following years, that she
became aware of her position.
In 1842 she was sent, as dispenser, to the hospital at
Aix-la-Chapelle. The mistress of the novices accompanied
her as far as Treves ; the rest of the long journey she and
a still younger Sister had to make in the company of some
Prussian soldiers. " Well, that is fortunate ! " said- the
mistress of the novices. " I need have no anxiety as to
your being well cared for. No better travelling companions
can be found for nuns than soldiers ! "
Arrived at Aix-la-Chapelle, Sister Augustine devoted
herself to her new duties and occupations with so much
attention and energy, that she soon became the very life
of the institution. Yet, in her inmost heart, a deep feeling
of loneliness came over her, which for a long time neither
work nor prayer could overcome nor even diminish. She
saw clearly, for the first time, how different her whole

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. , 47
manner of thought and feeling was from the spirit of the
Sisterhood to which she belonged, and must belong to the
end of her life, and confidence in herself almost forsook
hen There was not one of those around her at Aix-la-
Chapelle whom she could, at all trust, so she was not
even able to tell the burden of her misery to another,
and thus lighten it. But the utter loneliness, which often
threatened to overcome her, was of higher value to her
than she at that time recognized. It laid the foundation
to a great spiritual ihdependence, which taught her in later
years, in all trials and difficulties, to seek help from God
alone, and to find in her own conscience the law for every
action. A few years later, she wrote : " Never in my life have
I had such continual hard struggles with myself, as in those
seven years at Aix-la-Chapelle. I do not venture to decide
whether I myself or those around me were most to blame ;
I only know that often I prayed, with burning tears,
that God v/ould make me callous and careless of every
thing that since my earliest youth had appeared to my
soul great and noble. Often I fancied my prayers had
been heard, but new combats showed me, only too soon,
that I had been deceived. Yet unconsciously my strength
grew in the fight. How many times in after life have I
prayed to God to forgive that foolish prayer and leave it
unanswered ! How utterly impoverished would my soul
have been, in the midst of my arduous calling, had my
deep, lively feelings been blunted ! The renouncement of
the good things' of this life has truly not made me a whit
poorer, but how bitter my need would have been had I

48 , SISTER AUGUSTINE.
been obliged to bid farewell to the world of feeling I How
thanklessly I rejected this precious gift of God because its
range appeared to me to be too large for the narrow limits
of the convent walls ! "
The giving up of all home ties, of friends and re
lations, is not necessarily demanded by the actual rules of
the Order, but by the new spirit gradually permeating it.
As in many other things, she from the first remained
a stranger to all innovations, inasmuch as she retained
an intense affection for her relations, and a warm apprecia
tion for friendship. She wrote : " How great indeed, O
God, is Thy gift to the human heart, in that Thou givest
it the power of rising above the limits of time and space !
How near we can thus be to those we love ! How the
sharpest sting of separation is thus removed, enabling
us every instant to take our loved ones tO our heart!
How ennobling is this power of the soul ! How greatly
it strengthens the heart which has had to make so many
sacrifices in outward things ! In the exhortations, we are
recommended not to love any human being, in order to
love God the more. My God, if I must seek Thee in
this way, then I shall never reach Thee nor possess Thee !
We are told virtues must be practised, if we would master
them ; it would then appear as if love were a weed or a
poisonous plant, which must be avoided and trodden under
foot to make it grow and thrive ! Very different were, the
maxims preached at the close of St. John's life, and which
he left to us, as the fruits of his rich experience. He, at
least, knew how to gain an entrance into the Redeemer's
heart." Sisters of Charity are sometimes allowed to visit their

THE FIRST NINE YEARS OF CONVENT LIFE. 49
relations for a short time, but in order to distinctly mark
their separation from the family, they may not share any
meal under the parental roof, nor, in fact, eat anything
there, they being obliged to spend the night and take their
food, if possible, in some neighbouring convent.
When Sister Augu.stine first joined the Order, the
nearest friends and relations of the Sisters were sometimes
permitted to join them at their meals, and more particularly
on high feast-days. Afterwards the extension of this slight
hospitality was forbidden ; and even nuns of other Orders,
who might happen to be staying for a short time with the
Sisters of Charity, were included in the prohibition.
A few years after taking her vows, Sister Augustine
obtained leave to return home on a visit, which she more
gladly welcomed, as separation had taught her the full
value of all she had forsaken. During this visit she found
her father still unreconciled to her, and many entreaties
were necessary on her part, before she could induce him to
lay aside something of his displeasure.
The meetings between father and daughter were des
tined to be few. He was taken ill in the spring of 1847,
on a journey to Heidelberg ; kind friends nursed him,
and he recovered so far as to be able to go home to
Coblenz. During this illness at Heidelberg he for the
first time returned to the positive Christian faith, and even
partook of the Sacraments. In a letter to Bethmann-
Hollweg he wrote : " I have found, at this occasion, that it
is easier to lose than to regain."
In the autumn of the following year he had a return
of his illness in a severer form. Sister Augustine was at
that tim.e in the hospital at Aix-la-Chapelle. One day,
E

50 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
as usual, she was busied in the dispensary ; as the angelus
sounded at twelve o'clock she laid down her utensils to
utter the accustomed prayer. Suddenly a deep, inex
plicable sadness came over her, and, instead of praying, she
burst into tears. With difficulty she at last sufficiently
composed herself to join her fellow-Sisters in the refectory.
After dinner the Superior sent for her, and told her that
her mother had written to say her father was unwell and
wished to see her, and that she might go at once.
She was overjoyed at this permission ; all her grief was
forgotten — she only thought of the journey home and the
re-union with the loved ones. It never occurred to her
that her father's illness might be a serious one. On arriving
at Coblenz, she hastened home, and gaily running up the
stairs, called out to the servant, " How is my father ? "
But the girl looked at her with a startled, sorrowful face,
and answered, " Alas ! he died yesterday at noon ! "
On the 14th of October, as the angelus was ringing,
Lasaulx had passed away, amid the prayers of his family.
Sister Augustine sorrowed deeply, for she loved her
father passionately. After his death she felt herself a
stranger and lonely at Coblenz, and though her mother,
her youngest brother, and many relations and friends
continued living there for years, yet, as often as she re
turned there for a short visit, she felt herself as if in a
strange world.
In the following year, 1849, she was called away
from Aix-la-Chapelle. She hailed the news with joy,
whilst all deeply regretted to see her leave the house
whose centre of life she had been, though not bearing the
title of Superior.

CHAPTER V.
ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS IN THE RHINE-PROVINCE
FROM 1835-1848.
The reason for Sister Augustine's estrangement from her
native city — an estrangement which amounted gradually
to aversion — arose out of the ecclesiastical events which,
beginning during her childhood, slowly and unperceived,
drew a sharp line of demarcation between the contending
religious and ecclesiastical parties then existing. Exter
nally, her life was at that time little aff'ected by such
events, but the impressions were all the deeper, being in
ward and unperceived. They laid the basis to the prin
ciples which influenced her whole future life, to which
she remained true, and which in a great measure deter
mined her destiny.
In the political reconstruction of Germany after the
Wars of Independence, the Papal See did not succeed in
establishing the Church in a position corresponding ,to its
demands, and to the glorious recollections of the temporal
power the German clergy possessed in former times. The
diplomatic negotiations too, which had in the following
years been begun with the diff'erent Governments, although
they made some progress, yet were far from having the

52 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
desired results. Rome demanded the complete independ
ence of the Church from the State in all ecclesiastical
matters, and the right of determining what matters of
the government should come under the term ecclesiastical ;
and, further, the entire superintendence of the schools, the
unfettered introduction of clerical Orders, and the complete
exemption of the clergy from civil jurisdiction.
The most favourable terms which the Church obtained
as the result of these negotiations, were those from Prussia,
owing chiefly to the peaceful disposition of Count Spiegel,
Archbishop of Cologne, and the good understanding exist
ing between him and Stein and Hardenberg. A state of
affairs was thus brought about, under which, for a long
series of years, clergy and people lived in quiet content
ment. Prussia re-established the ancient bishoprics, gave the
bishops equal rank with the first presidents of the provinces,
and left them perfect liberty in the administration of their
dioceses, the regulation of divine service, and the education
and superintendence of their clergy. An agreement was
made, by which the number of feast-days, which under
French rule had dwindled down to four, should be fixed at
fourteen. Yet a feeling of deep antipathy against the
Prussian Government sprang up in several small circles.
By antipathy is not so.much meant political dissatisfaction —
as, for instance, in Gorres — nor even that personal prejudice
and aversion existing in legal circles in the Rhineland,
whose members felt themselves offended by several appoint
ments to high judicial offices, and who united deep con
tempt for Prussian- legislation with the firm tenacity with
which they clung to the rights which they had acquired

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS : 1 83 5- 1 848. 53
under the Code Napoleon ; we speak rather of that bitter
discontent which sprung up just then in a small circle of
the younger clergy and literary men, particularly in and
about Munster and on the Lower Rhine, who saw in the
new civil legislation a serious hindrance to the restoration
of the hierarchy in all its mediseval splendour. No sacrifice
was considered too great to satisfy this desire ; no action,
not even the overthrow of the existing system, was thought
unlawful. Such views were fostered by the somewhat
similar revolutionary ideas which came across from Bel
gium and France. The bishops in the Prussian provinces
of the Rhine and Westphalia, Von Hommer in Treves,
Count Spiegel in Cologne, Von Ledebur in Paderborn, and
Von Droste-Vischering in.Miinster, who had no sympathy
with these views, werc one and all abused by these
zealots in the Kirchenzeitung of Aschaffenburg, because
of their mild and peaceful disposition. They were even
held up as unprincipled shepherds ; indeed, as traitors to
the Church. Archbishop Spiegel complained bitterly in his
letters of 1825 and 1827 of "the secret system of informing
and slander carried on from Munich with Rome."
A number of remarkable men belonging to the
Catholic Church, and active in bringing about reforms
within it, though not reforms according to the wishes of
the extreme party, were looked upon by the latter with as
much enmity as the secular Government. Sailer in
Bavaria belonged to these, and he, along with his friends,
sought above all things the inward holiness and unity of
all those who heartily loved the Redeemer, and the Vicar-
General of Constance, Baron Wessenb'erg, whose energies
were directed to secure to the German bishops a position

54 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
independent of Rome, under the direction of a German
patriarch. Its bitterest enmity, however, turned against
Hermes, who, in 1807, was elected professor of dogmatics
in Munster, and transferred in 1820 to Bonn. According
to his system, man is to be brought up to the gates of
faith, not so much under the guidance of authority as by
the exercise of reason, compelling the human mind to
recognize the reality of divine revelation, and the' Catholic
Church as the only possessor of that revelation. This
system found at that time unanimous approval among
the German bishops, and Hermes, who was himself a
thoroughly pious and trustworthy character, counted
almost the whole of the clergy of the Lower Rhine, as
well as the greater part of those in Westphalia, among his
disciples and followers. Although, soon after coming to
Bonn, Hermes was charged with teaching theological errors,
peace continued for a time undisturbed.
In the meantime the work of the above-named party
was, openly, hardly perceivable, although internally it was
growing stronger, and quietly extending day by day.
Frederick Perthes, a Protestant, who, owing to his extensive
and intimate connections, had opportunities of gaining
insight into the character of these movements which lay
hidden under the surface, wrote as early as 1824: "There
is no doubt that a convulsive movement must soon take
place within the Catholic Church. Her artificial framework
will doubtless remain untouched, but yet the living forces
are too mightily at work among many of her members not
to have a destructive influence on her." In 1829 he ao-ain
wrote : " The past four years have been productive of the
profoundest changes in opinions and feelings throughout

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1835-1848. 55
Europe. Though outwardly uneventful, it has been a
time which has prepared for revulsions, as important, per
haps, as those of the sixteenth century. The Catholic
Church has become more Romanized and more hierarchi
cal, and the Protestant clergy, equally violent, is stand
ing in battle array, ready for the attack. The days have
gone past in which believing Protestants and believing
Catholics felt themselves one in matters of faith. Con
ciliatory voices are unheeded, and years of strife lie before
us, in which each one must seek tp strengthen his own
position." The followers of Hermes were not altogether blameless
in pressing forward diff'erences which became ever more
marked. They were foremost in the opposition to the
Government when it tried to gain Mohler over to Prussia,
who was well known' for his conciliatory disposition. They
held almost markedly aloof ft-om the Christian Protestants
who lectured at Bonn at that time, such as Brandis, Beth-
mann-Hollweg, Bleek, Mendelssohn, and Sack. On the
other hand, Windischmann, the decided opponent of
Hermes, and the Catholic theologian Klee, stood on terms
of the most intimate friendship with these men. The
death of the Archbishop, Count Spiegel, in 1835, was the
signal for the beginning of violent party struggles in the
Rhineland, and for attacks directed in the first place
against the followers and friends of Hermes, who died in
183 1, and afterwards against the Prussian Government. The
members of that party which saw in the system of Hermes
elements which portended their own ruin, and which stood
in direct opposition to their own aims and purposes,
obtained from Pope Gregory XVI. the condemnation of

56 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
the system, couched in the severest terms, together with /
that of all the writings of Hermes. They succeeded in this
¦ by means of the theological representations of Windisch
mann, Mohler refusing to give any opinion, and by dis
torted and incomplete translations. The German bishops
and the numerous friends of Hermes, who occupied the
theological chairs at Bonn, Cologne, Treves, partly also
at Breslau, or who were engaged in pastoral work in their
dioceses, felt themselves deeply hurt, and complained of
the illegal proceedings by which this state of matters had
been brought about ; but the unconditional manner in
which all, except Braun and Achterfeld, submitted to the
prohibition, gave decisive proof how little the condemned
doctrines had succeeded in undermining the authority oi
the Papal See. Stiil the victorious party continued for
years to write and to preach against the so-called followers
of Hermes with so much hatred and bitterness, that the
" catholic unity " of Germany was all but reduced to an
empty name.
Immediately after the death of Spiegel, the same party
was equally zealous in attacking the Prussian Government.
In 1835 the anonymous "Red Book" appeared, the actual
title of which was, "Contributions to the Ecclesiastical
History of the Nineteenth Century," in which Prussia was
represented as a power hostile to the Roman Catholic
Church, and bent on her .total destruction. While empha
sizing many undeniable mistakes of the Government, and
some unquesdonable slights and hardships the Catholics
had to submit to (such as the compulsion of Catholic
soldiers to attend Protestant services), it cleverly interwove
all with every kind of exaggeration, misrepresentation, and

ECCLESIASTICAL "EVENTS: 1835-1848. 57
falsehood. Every single institution of the Prussian Govern
ment — its administration of justice, the constitution of its
army, its department of public works — was abused and
railed at, and brought forward as a proof that the Catholic
Church in Prussia was doomed to destruction. For
example, although Christian architecture revived and
flourished under Prussian rule, it was here represented as
being discouraged and as having deteriorated. The a.sser-
tion was even made that the recently built churches in the
Rhineland were nothing better than " ball-rooms," and the
parsonages "sheep-cots." A refutation of the " Red Book"
replied that " Von Lasaulx the architect, the father of the
Professor von Lasaulx in Wiirzburg, so much trusted by
the Ultramontanes, and the connection of Gorres in
Munich, would give him (the anonymous author) an oppor
tunity of satisfying himself as to whether these churches
were ball-rooms and the parsonages sheep-cots." The
" Red Book " was followed by a perfect multitude of similar
writings, which were distributed in large numbers through
out the whole of the Rhineland. These had the effect of
spreading the discontent, confined in the first instance to a
few small circles, over the whole population, and of feeding
the flame of dissatisfaction they had kindled, till it burst
forth into fury.
In the meantime, on the proposition of the Prussian
Government, the Vicar-General of Miinster, Clemens
Augijst, Baron von Droste-Vischering, was elected as
Spiegel's successor. One who had long been his friend
described him as " a pious, earnest Christian," " a man of
iron,", "not narrow, but intensely tenacious of purpose,
and inflexible." Whilst designating him as "thoroughly

58 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
honest," he at the same time added that he regarded it as
quite impossible for any man to get on with him as arch
bishop. He was one of those characters for whom duties
existed only in so far as they accorded with his own per
sonal views and convictions ; to all other obligations he
was perfectly indifferent. " Is your Government mad ? "
the Cardinal secretary is reported to have said to the
Prussian ambassador, Bunsen, who brought him the news
of the election.
To preliminary inquiries the new Archbishop had
replied, in writing, that he would administer the diocese in
the spirit of peace, and would especially avoid " attacking
or overthrowing " the agreement which, in accordance with
the papal Brief of 1834, had been arranged with the
Government on the matter of mixed marriages, and that he
would rather " construe it in the spirit of love and peace."
Yet, soon after ascending the archiepiscopal throne, it
became evident that the peaceful relations which had
existed between Church and State under his predecessor
were at an end.
The power of transacting negotiations of importance was
at once withdrawn from the Vicar-General Huesgen, who
had been the right-hand man of Spiegel, and had possessed
his entire confidence. The office was thus turned into a
mere sinecure. In the same way all trust was withdrawn
from the members of the cathedral Chapter, and all share
in official transactions denied them. On the other hand,
the young secretary of the Archbishop, Edward Michelis,
gained all the greater influence. He belonged to the party
who regarded it to be their duty to contend not only
against a few individual ecclesiastical grievances, but rather

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1835-1848. 59
to oppose the whole system of Church politics in Prussia ;
their aversion to the Prussian Government was fully equal
to that which they felt for Protestants and the followers of
the late Hermes. It was as natural as it was undeniable
that Michelis, in his influential position, should have acted
according to the views of his school.
Secret correspondence with Rome, which was forbidden
at that time, was again begun and carried on by the help
of the members of clerical Orders and others — as, for
instance, the pastor Binterim, in Bilk, near Diisseldorf —
and plans were made for introducing Laurent from
Luxemburg, and members of the Order of Jesuits into
the diocese, to render help in opposing the moderate ten
dencies of the Rhine clergy. " It would be no small joy
to us to smuggle in a few Jesuits," Michelis wrote to a
friend in 1837 ; and later he says in another letter to the
same, " The time is come ; we must use every means.
Let me tell you how far our cause has prospered. The
Archbishop gives his sanction to everything, but in the
meantime shuts his eyes to everything, so that whatever
is done is done on private responsibility. I am going to
place four Jesuits at Cologne and one at Bonn, at short
intervals after each other," etc.
As soon as the Archbishop was aware that the
agreement between the Bishops of Treves, Paderborn, and
Miinster with the Government went beyond the concessions
of the papal Brief of 1830, he at once rejected it, and
introduced as literal an interpretation as possible of the
Brief, as a standard for the clergy. He treated the followers
of Hermes with equal harshness. Without consulting the
Government, he closed the seminary at Cologne, and

.60 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
prohibited the students from attending the lectures of any
of the theological professors, excepting Klee, thus suspect
ing them, notwithstanding their submission to the papal
decree. In order more completely to extirpate the teach
ing of Hermes, he proposed eighteen theses, in which the
views of particular schools were laid down as binding
articles of faith, and in which the solemn promise was
extracted, to appeal in matters of teaching and discipline
from the Archbishop to the Pope alone. The Archbishop
made the appointment and promotion of the clergy in his
diocese dependent on subscription to these articles.
These and similar proceedings repeatedly obliged the
Government to call the Archbishop's attention to the en
gagements he entered upon on assuming his office. All
entreaties, warnings, and proposals to come to an under
standing were in vain ; also the summons to discontinue
his official duties and to retire "from his diocese, until
ecclesiastical matters should be settled anew between the
diocese and the Pope.
Hereupon the Archbishop circulated a pastoral letter
among the clergy and people throughout the whole
diocese, in which he declared that the Prussian Govern
ment wished to interfere with the rights of the Church in
the matter of mixed marriages, and that rather than
permit the same he would suffer the extreme penalty of
the law. The letter hardly touched upon any of these,
or any other debatable questions. The whole of the Rhine-
land was filled with anxious expectations and excitement.
Placards exciting the people against the Government were
posted up at the corners of the streets at Coblenz, Bonn,
and Cologne ; those at Cologne, for instance, closing with

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1 835-1848. 6 1
the words : " Up, Catholics, up ! Prepare for battle, for
the King has thrown down the gauntlet ! " A few days
later, on the 20th of November, the Archbishop was
arrested and conducted to Minden.
The Catholics of the Rhine were intensely excited by
this event, which was considered among Protestants almost
generally as a " fatal defeat " of the Government. All
decided Catholics, and eyen those otherwise not particu
larly well-disposed towards Rome, such as, for example,
the deeply embittered followers of Hermes, took the part
of the Archbishop. The cathedral Chapter of Cologne was
the gnly exception, its members having, on the 22nd of
November, lodged a complaint with the Pope, regarding
the " reckless, suspicious, and arrogant " bearing of the
Archbishop. The two hostile parties found themselves suddenly
united, in face of the encroachments of the Protestant
Government, just as the invasion of a foreign foe silences
the internal quarrels of a nation. Only a few recognized
in these events the threatening signs of a coming storm of
far greater violence. In the words of Mohler, the mild
and just critic of an age which caused him deep suffering,
the conduct of these Catholic parties was designated as an
" untimely provocation of the gathering storm." One of
the combatants sadly wrote in those troubled times : " So
much love is lost, and so little light is gained ! "
Gorres once more, in his " Athanasius," lifted up his
testimony. Though he might well exclaim, addressing
his old home, "The voice now speaking to you has never
urged you to take any half or doubtful measures, nor to do
anything cowardly, false, mean, or wicked," still he had no

62 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
right to call his "Athanasius" " the voice of truth, defending
dispassionately all that is right and just, all order, law,
and equity ; " for in those stormy days there was hardly
a book to be compared with it for one-sidedness and display
of party feeling. In impassioned words he describes the
"hypocritical friendship" and " the brutal power"" of secular
governments, the devouring and stupefying poison of the
two fundamental tendencies of Protestantism — " the foul
crater" of rationalism, the "nightmare" of a bureaucracy
— and the folly and cunning, the blindness and malice, of
the opponents. He enthusiastically proclaims the advent
of a new era, in which "all nations inhabiting the same
part of the globe, and sharing the same faith, will, for the
first time for centuries, unite in the common feeling of an
ecclesiastical unity, according to the will of God — ' one
will, one aim, one heart, one enthusiasm pervading all.' "
And again : " With the imprisonment of the Archbishop of
Cologne, Church history of Germany enters upon a new
epoch." That year the Romish party celebrated its first
open victory ; henceforth it was the ruling party in the
Catholic Church. The same, too, had a decisive influence
on the mutual relations of the confessions in the Rhineland,
or, according to the characteristic remark of an old country
parson, "Then only we again became Catholics; we hardly
knew before what we were."
Briiggemann had been temporarily summoned to Berlin
shorUy before the events at Cologne, and it was he who, on
his retum, brought with him the order of apprehension of
the Archbishop. This was the reason of his losing caste in
the Rhineland. Many an old friend turned his back upon
him, and serious dissension broke up the unity of the circle

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1835-1848. 63
of friends at Coblenz. Not long after, Briiggemann, on
account of his theological training and his general know
ledge of ecclesiastical affairs, was sent to Rome, in order to
be ready to promote by his advice any negotiations which
might eventually take place. After remaining some time
at Rome, he did not return to Coblenz, but went to Berlin,
where he was first appointed the under-secretary in the
Educational Department, and afterwards privy-councillor.
The entire want of success, which had for so long
attended the negotiations between the Papal See and the
Prussian Government — though they nearly came to terms —
was again owing to that party who, bent on agreeing to no
peace until t'neir own ends were completely attained, did all
they could, publicly and privately, to multiply difficulties
and misunderstandings. In regard to the passionate utter
ances in innumerable pamphlets and newspaper articles,
there was little to choose between the two parties. If, on
the one hand, the quarrel between hierarchy and Govern
ment was represented as " the conflict of truth with false
hood, of light with darkness, of heaven with earth," the
defenders of the Government replied by asking, " Why pay
such regard to the opinion and feelings of the provinces,
with thousands of soldiers ready to use their arms and put
an end to all opposition } " The storm only abated with
the coronation of Frederick William IV-, in 1840, whose
character and views were opposed to the continuance of
the conflict in the way in which it had been carried on
during the reign of his father. The impressions he had
received during his residence on the Rhine as Crown
Prince, had doubtless conduced in no small degree to his
mildness and readiness to concessions in ecclesiastical

64 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
matters. The Archbishop was at once dismissed from
prison, but only to transmit the administration of the arch
diocese to his coadjutor and successor, Geissel, and to retire
to a family estate in Westphalia, where he died in 1842.
The clever and accomplished Archbishop Geissel, whom
the king personally liked and knew how to value, gradually
succeeded in completely restoring the good understanding
between the spiritual and secular powers, and in gaining
for the Catholic Church in Prussia a position she had never
before possessed.
He continued to treat the so-called followers of
Hermes in the same stringerJ: way as his predecessor.
The Government, even before the events at Cologne,
intended only to befriend the Hermesians — whom they
believed to be indispensable in opposing the Archbishop
— until the final blow should be struck, and then to let
them drop, whenever a reconciliation had taken place
with Rome ; accordingly, it was no difficult matter for the
Archbishop to obtain from the Government power to sus
pend Achterfeld and Braun, the theological professors in
Bonn. Once again the hopes of the oppressed party revived
when Pius IX. ascended the throne in 1846, and in his first
encyclical letter expressions were uttered similar to those
of Hermes, as to the relations between reason and revelation.
In order to crush such expectations from the first, Geissel
procured a second condemnation of Hermes' doctrines
from the new Pope. And thus was completely crushed a
school of theological thought, which only twenty years
before had filled the Catholic Church in the Rhineland and
Westphalia with bright hopes of a renewal of the true

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS : 1 835-1 848. 65
ecclesiastical spirit, by means of earnest piety and thorough
scholarship. Sister Augustine, who was still at home during the
agitations at Cologne, was less affected by the general
excitement than most of those with whom she lived.
Though well disposed towards religion and the Church, she,
from her very childhood, had an innate dread of all " hot -
headed piety," as she termed the tendency prevalent in
Coblenz and the Rhine generally. Besides, she was just
then too much pre-occupied with the inward experiences
and struggles of her own heart. It was during that time
that she called on the sister-in-law of Briiggemann, Jetta
Cornelius, who had remained behind, and who, notwith
standing all the bitterness and excitement in Coblenz,
regarded it as due to her brother-in-law and herself to main
tain an almost isolated position. When Jetta embraced
Sister Augustine with tears, the latter could not help asking
herself, with a feeling of compunction, whether she had
not shared those same views herself Thenceforth the
noise and clamour of party conflict found an entirely
difi'erent response in her soul, more especially as her
father, whom she so deeply venerated, had too long lived
in those peaceful days 01 the past, in which "people
hardly themselves knew what they were," ever to be drawn
into taking any direct interest in the subject of dispute,
even though solicited by her friends and relations.
Her brother Ernst had, on the contrary, attached him
self with passionate devotion to the anti-Prussian party
in Wiirzburg, and when called to Munich in 1844, he
had joined that circle of which Mohler said, " I shall
always have a deep veneration for such men as DoHinger,

66 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Lasaulx, Sepp, Moy, the two Gorreses, Seyfried, Philipps,
and others, but at times I do not feel at ease in intercourse
with them. Their pronounced ecclesiastical views are
quite in accordance with my own feeling and convictions ;
but the manner of expression, the habit, of exposing their
inmost feeling, and the position taken in the present
state of affairs, so characteristic of these men, pains and
unnerves me."
The year 1 848, with its convulsions that shook Europe,
was, after that of 1837, with the events in Cologne, the
year which had deepest significance for the Church, and of
most decisive influence for the future course of events. The
political excitement of this year was more powerful in re
establishing the unity of the Catholic Church than all the
utterances of popes and bishops put together. The general
convulsion and confusion of opinion, added to the little
value set on all legitimate authority, drove the positively dis
posed to hold more firm to the outward forms of the Church,
and caused many highly intellectual patriotic men to join
the extreme Church party. There was something very
imposing in the idea of papacy, and in the eighteen
hundred years' gradual connection of the Church with it,
contrasted with the rapid changes of all worldly institu
tions which had taken place in the whole of Europe, and
more especially at the Rhine, since the beginning of the
French Revolution until the year 1848. The Papacy alone
had remained the same ; throughout all changes and revo
lutions it stood " alone, amid the ruins of a bygone age."
The Roman Catholic Church, with her doctrines and
traditions, her compactly framed hierarchy, could not, at
such a time, fail to appear to many their only refuge ; and

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS : 1835-1848. 67
thus it was that the Catholics at the Rhine, and Gorres
with his friends at Munich, were the foremost to enter
the lists in defence of her outward maintenance. Joseph
G5rres had died in the beginning of 1848. In the printed
invitations to his funeral it was said, " Thus the star of
the Rhineland has set — the ornament of Germany — a voice
that warned of danger, a two-edged sword against false
hood and violence, a champion of truth, freedom, and
justice." In the same year, Ernst von Lasaulx was elected one
of the deputies for the parliament at Frankfort. He
joined the extreme- conservative party, and spoke most
incisively for the necessity of the Church being outwardly
independent of the State. He maintained that absolute
freedom, both inward and outward, was the only con
dition under which religious life could prosper ; and he
instanced the baneful influence of unbelief, which would
soon spread itself among the peasantry and middle classes,
thus sapping the foundations of national life. " For a
people never has existed, nor ever can exist, without
positive religion. Wherever in the whole course of Euro
pean history we find healthy political life, it is there where
the living flame of religion burns. If then, we hope,
through the power of freedom, for a political regeneration
of our once so great and powerful Fatherland, now awaken
ing from its long sleep, it must and can alone be based
on a religious awakening by the same spiritual freedom.
He who expects the one without the other is ignorant of
the character of nations, and whoever wishes for freedom
in the State aad not in the Church, betrays a sad want
either of understanding or of feeling, or of both. All the

68 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
armies in the world are incapable of overthrowing a single
mathematical truth, far less of shaking a law of the world's
moral government. Whoever then, I repeat, wishes for
freedom in the State and not in the Church, is a traitor
to freedom." Many inhabitants of the Rhine, in consequence of their
aversion to the Prussian Government, had turned all their
patriotism to Austria, expecting from her, rather than
from Protestant Prussia, the fulfilment of their desire for
absolute freedom of the Church. Many of them considered
the house of Hapsburg (or rather Lorraine) as identical
with Catholicism, and their ignorance of the condition of
ecclesiastical matters in Austria prompted them to idealize
these, and to eagerly long for their adoption.
Sister Augustine's brother shared these sentiments, and
accordingly declared before parliament that, if the im
perial crown of Germany were given to any one, it must
on no account be to the King of Prussia, but to the Em
peror of Austria. He thought he had found the con
clusive argument for his idea in the fact that Austria
possessed far more vigour and fresh strength for decisive
action than Prussia, " which was far advanced on the path
from life to death." In a short time, however, Ernst von
Lasaulx appears to have had his faith in Austria shaken,
as he uttered these remarkable words : " We have become
altogether involved in the leadings of fate, and no human
power will be able peacefully to solve the momentous
question as to who is to master Germany. Like all great
questions in the life of nations, it will have to be solved by
the sword. I hail him, whoever he be, that will have
strength and courage to grasp that sword ! "

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1 83 5- 1 848. 69
As far as it was possible within her convent walls.
Sister Augustine shared with sympathy and admiration
her brother's political views, as expressed in the church
of St. Paul's in Frankfort, and, later on, in the Bavarian
parliament. His motto, "Walk uprightly through life, do
the right, and fear no man," was the expression of her
own inmost conviction ; yet she could not always agree
with his speeches on Church politics, nor with the funda
mental views on which they were based. In a letter
written at that time, she says, " I have no news from my
brothers and sisters ; I only heard what the newspapers
say about Ernst and his speech in parliament. You can
fancy how painful an impression his views and opinions
always left upon me."
Had she at that time been still at home, or in her
brother's home at Munich, she very probably would have
shared the same ecclesiastical and political views. Since
leaving home, however, she had been placed in circum
stances where the visible Church impressed her neither
in her imposing and powerful connection with universal
history, as the only lasting thing amid the general over
throw, nor transfigured in the light of art and poetry, as
the realization of all that is beautiful and noble ; but
rather under a form which seemed to her all but a
caricature, from which it cost her many a hard struggle to
rescue her own ideal views. She had experienced less of
the protecting and saving power of the Church's external
structure, than the oppressive and crushing burden of
formalities, from which she sought ever more to withdraw
herself into the inmost sanctuary of her faith.

CHAPTER VL
LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN :
I 849-1 864.
Sister Augustine was called away from Aix-la-Chapelle,
in consequence of her being appointed Superior of the new
hospital at Bonn. She first went to Nancy to receive par
ticular directions regarding her new duties, and to await
the day of her departure.
In 1842, at the suggestion of Oppenhoff, the Mayor of
Bonn, a few gentlemen had formed the plan of starting
subscriptions for the purpose of erecting a town hospital.
The subscriptions were so successful that the foundation-
stone of the building was laid as early as 1846.
The ceremony was conducted by Cardinal Johannes
von Geissel, and in his honour his patron saint was chosen
to be the patron of the hospital, which was accordingly
named the Hospital of St. John.
The building, completed in 1849, was thus the gift of
many, and well might the two white marble slabs near the
entrance door bear the inscription —
"fVnDaVit pietas
exeXIt ConCorDIa
perfeCIt fIDes
serVet paX et JVstltla."

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 71
It was resolved " to give over the care of the sick
and the entire charge of the institution, exclusively and
for ever, to the Sisters of the Order of St. Vincent de Paul,
and, wherever it was possible, to those Sisters of the same
Order who belonged to the Congregation of St. Charies
Borromeo;" and on the 7th of October, 1849, arrange
ments were made with the Lady. Superior of Nancy.
Late one evening in the beginning of November, the
nuns from Nancy, with Sister Augustine as their Superior,
arrived at Bonn, each of them carrying the little they
possessed under their arm, sewed up in a pillow-case. As
they had not been expected until some weeks later, there
was no one to meet them, nor to conduct them to their
new home. On reaching the door of the hospital, they
had to ring the bell until they woke the janitor, who slept
in the house, and who was not a little surprised to see
them. The house was still entirely unfurnished ; not even
a candle was to be found for the nuns. The pocket,- however,
of a Sister of Charity is usually a receptacle for all sorts
of useful articles, and thence, luckily. Sister Augustine
produced a small piece of taper, which, stuck on an empty
bottle, supplied them with light. They then set off on an
expedition of discovery through the house ; but there was
little to be seen save bare walls. The only useful instru
ment they could find was a broom, which somehow or
other had found its way into one of the rooms. Its dis
covery was hailed with much laughter. But, besides this,
not a single article of household use was forthcoming.
The nuns were, moreover, hungry. What was to be done ?
At last a happy thought struck the janitor, which he at
once put into execution. Late as it was, he .went to Herr

72 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Gerhard's, one of the members of the town council, a
kindly, benevolent man, and begged from him a ba.sket of
potatoes, telling him at the same time of the arrival of the
Sisters. They got through the night as well as they could,
and next morning the news spread like wild-fire through
the town. Contributions came pouring in from all sides ;
everybody brought something, and several young girls
offered their assistance to the Sisters of Charity. It was
not benevolence alone which prompted the inhabitants of
Bonn to act so generously, but the favourable impression
which the new Superior made upon all with whom she
came in contact.
The hospital was soon ready for the reception of patients,
and on the 19th of November, 1849, it was solemnly conse
crated. After service in the minster, a procession proceeded
to the hospital, where, after the" consecration, the patients
¦were given over to the care of the Sisters of Lharity. The
ceremony, at which the Crown Prince of Prussia, then
studying at Bonn, was present, was closed with a Te Deum.
Professor Walter was elected chairman of the curators, and
Professor Dieringer, Archbishop's commissioner ; Dean
Lammerz later taking his place. Dr. Velten had volun
teered his services as hospital physician ; and the surgical
department was under the care of Dr. Eulenburg up to
the year 185 1, Dr. Schaeffer till i860, and after that
Professor Busch. The hospital soon became the scene of
great activity ; besides the ordinary hospital patients, pro
vision was made by the parochial authorities for a number
of old men and women, the so-called inmates. The rest of
the rooms were let to weak and aged ladies and gentle
men, who hoped there to end their days in peace.

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 73
Sister Augustine was much rejoiced at her removal
to Bonn, and her nomination to the post of Superior, nor
did she make any secret of her pleasure. She felt at once
more independent in her relations to Nancy, and she had
ample scope for the development of her talents for organ
ization and management. If there be any truth in the
saying, that humanity is divided into two classes — those
that rule and those who are ruled, then Sister Augustine
belonged undoubtedly to the former. " It would have
been a great disappointment not to have had the post of
Superior given me at some period of my life," she re
marked ; " God gave me the talents for it, and I am glad
to make use of them. Why should I not frankly acknow
ledge this > "
St. John's Hospital gradually became much more at
tractive in appearance than are hospitals generally. A
stained glass window over the entrance represented an
angel with outspread arms, blessing all who entered with
the words, " God bless thine incoming and outgoing," and
at the other end of the long lobby, a similar window, the
gift of Ernst von Lasaulx, portrayed in bright colours St.
Elizabeth with the roses.
To the right of the entrance was the chapel, which,
though small and only two stories high, was attractive by
its taste and simplicity. Upon the carved Gothic altar stood
a large crucifix, which had been carved at Meran, and
presented by Sulpice Boisseree to Sister Augustine. " You
must come yourself by-and-by, and see how mildly and
earnestly this beautiful image of the Saviour looks down
upon the altar," she wrote, much pleased, to Frau Boisseree.
Besides the inmates of the hospital, many of the towns--

74 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
people, attracted by the sermons which were preached
there, regularly attended the Sunday services in the chapel.
A young theologian. Von R  , formed a small choir,
which was composed of students. As students, however,
are accustomed to spend Saturday night in a somewhat
convivial manner. Sister Augustine's young friend had
generally to go the rounds early on Sunday morning,
and get the singers out of bed in time for the hospital
service. Opposite the hospital was the dispensary, which has
since been fitted up at the expense of Count Fiirstenberg.
He had been nursed at the hospital during a long illness,
and on leaving it had requested Sister Augustine to ask
some favour of him. Knowing well his generosity, she
begged that he would fit up the dispensary handsomely,
with cases, chests, and all requisites. The request was at
once granted and carried into effect.
The large sitting-room of the Sisters was light and
roomy, and, notwithstanding its simplicity, "almost elegant ;
so that the Lady Superior, on paying her first visit to
the hospital, shook her head and said that the room
did not look at all monastical, and yet there was nothing
to which she could point as superfluous ; it was more its
neat arrangement which made so agreeable an impression.
Sister Augustine was always anxious that everything in
the house should be not only good, but look as nice as
possible. She was almost childlike in her joy when friends
gave her pictures or other works of art for the hospital.
In one of her letters to Frau Boisseree, when confined to
her bed, she says, " You have paid me such a kind,
pleasant visit in my sick-room, by that beautiful engraving.

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 75
that I found it difficult indeed to take the doctor's advice
and remain in bed another week. Like a child always
holding its Christmas present in its hand, I sat up in bed
again and again, reading your kind letter and looking at
the beautiful picture, and thanking you in thought, as I
now do in word with all my heart, for the great pleasure
you have given me. The engraving now ornaments my
new cosy little room, where I receive none but intimate
friends." Both by nature and by education she possessed a
great taste for the fine arts. All that was ugly, even
in the very commonest things, pained her. One day, on
returning from a journey, a gentleman who had made
himself very useful in the direction of the hospital, and
possessed her entire confidence, said to her, " I wished
to have a little pleasure ready for you on your return ;
look here ! " and he showed her a copy of the head of
Christ from Niebuhr's grave, painted in the brightest
of blues and whites. Sister Augustine, who had to ex
press her thanks for the well-meant surprise, used to say
that she felt pained every time that her eye fell on the
blues and whites. Not only was the exterior of the hos
pital cheerful and attractive : life inside it partook also, as
far as possible, of the fresh, joyous spirit of the Superior.
She liked to arrange little treats for the inmates, and on
such_ occasions she was the brightest of all. She would
allow of no praise being bestowed on herself, and always
cleverly managed that any necessary absence on her part
should happen just about the time of her " name-day."
If, however, " the Mother " (as she was called, not only in
the hospital, but throughout the whole town) could be kept

J6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
at home on such occasions, the Sisters and the patients
secretly busied themselves in arranging all manner of sur
prises for her. Once, on the eve of some such festival, all
the inmates of the house — at least, as many of them as were
able to walk — headed by Sister Gertrude, the oldest of the
nuns, went in procession to the Superior's door, each bear
ing a coloured lamp, and conducted her into the garden, to
the sound of a harmonica and amidst singing and rejoic
ings. Here she was greatly surprised by the sight of an
extraordinary looking pyramid, illuminated with Bengal
lights. On approaching it, she discovered that this gro
tesque edifice was composed of all the poor old men and
women, the lame and the deformed, living at that time in
the hospital, and who, in their pink jackets and high-
pointed caps, had beeh picturesquely grouped on tables,
chairs, and ladders.
¦Sister Augustine took a childlike pleasure in such
things, arid bestowed the highest praise on the spirit of
invention displayed by her Sisters. Her own humorous
nature helped her over many difficulties in daily life,
which she would otherwise have been unable to overcome.
During many years a deaf and dumb idiot was one of
the inmates of the hospital, whose mind was like that of
a child of two years old. He was quite harmless and
good-tempered, and so enthusiastic in his love for the
Superior as often to become troublesome, all the more that
he had the privilege of paying her a visit in the dispensary
as often as he pleased. He seldom did any mischief, and
his greatest delight was when he succeeded in meeting
Sister Augustine's grave friend. Professor Hilgers. He
would then walk into her room, leaning on the arm of the

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. J^
reverend gentleman, who tried in vain to put on an ex
pression of annoyance and shake off the intruder. Every
year this poor inmate of the hospital, whose name had by
some mistake not been struck off the conscription list, was
summoned to present himself to the military authorities.
Sister Augustine had done her best to have his name
removed from the roll, but without success, and she had
many a troublesome letter to write, to explain the reason
of his non-appearance. One day, when he had been
again summoned, she had a large cotton pinafore made
and put on him, and in this guise she "sent him to answer
his name. It had the desired effect, for the major, amid
much merriment, attested the man's unfitness for military
service. Besides the office of Superior, Sister Augustine had the
charge of the dispensary, and there she was usually to be
found. When at liberty for a few hours, she used to sit
beside the sick-beds with her* sewing, and her entrance had
always the effect of sunshine on the lonely sick-room. She
talked with the sufferers, comforted and cheered them,
and listened to their endless complaints with unwearied
patience, thereby gaining access to many a heart which
could not have been reached in any other way. She was
especially fond of the night-watching in the sick-rooms ;
night, with its deep, unbroken silence, having for her an
irresistible charm.
In 1854 she wrote : "Even during my novitiate, night-
watching made me always peaceful and happy, so that I
ever used it as a medicine when all the sad experiences of
convent life had made me sick at heart. Now, too, these
still hours of the night are the bright side of my work.

78 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Standing amid the silence, at the altar on which my poor
fellow-men are being sacrificed in their pains and sufferings,
I feel as if I could pray better and more earnestly. . . . When
silent night spreads her dark mantle over the gay colours
of the visible world, and in her strange solemnity quiets all
restless hearts, then I, too, feel quieted in my lonely watch.
I feel reconciled to all the wrongs done me throughout the
day ; in the stillness without and within, I can again under
stand my own heart and that of others. The glorious
starry firmament looks solemnly and warningly, with its
countless bright eyes, into the depths of my soul, till all my
restless, passionate feelings are quieted, and heaven itself
finds its image there. In such blessed hours I often am
carried away, on the wings of prayer, far from earth, to the
feet of Him, whose heart never for one instant was wanting
in sympathy. I would then, gladly indeed, for the well-
being of others, sacrifice the hours of rest and refreshment,
since God, in His infinite kindness, makes up for them to
my soul in spiritual gifts, which even promote my physical
well-being." Another time she wrote: "Once more God has permitted
me to watch for a night by the side of a poor sufferer.
Could I but soothe his pains by love, and bring refreshing
sleep to his weary eyes by my watchful care ! But, as it is,
a higher and mightier Power has rendered my hands help
less, and only left my heart free to sympathize with the
poor sufferer, and to nurse him at the expense of its own
strength. Thou, my faithful Redeemer, knewest well how
rich the permission would make my heart. . . . When wiping
the cold dews of death from the forehead of a poor dying
man, and looking at his dimming eye, the grave question

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 79
will arise in my own heart, ' When and how am I to meet
my final hour ? ' When .' That hes in the hand of God,
and therefore in the best of hands. How > That lies in
my own, and therefore in the worst, and yet God has en
trusted the whole of eternity to such a defenceless vessel.
. . . The poor dying man had a long, hard struggle, till the
big drops stood on his brow and his wearied hands sank
down stiff" and cold. As often before, I remarked in
his case that, as soon as the last breath had passed, an
expression of intense peace came over his face. It seems to
me as if the spirit, on its flight to the realms of bliss, had
turned back once more to the body in which it dwelt, just
as the setting sun gilds for one last moment some lonely
dwelling-place in the valley. I love to see that beautiful
light on the brow of the dead, just as a stranger welcomes
a messenger from his beloved distant home."
Owing to Sister Augustine's position as Superior, she
had to be present and assist at all operations — a task which
she fulfilled calmly, and with such presence of mind, that
she was of immense service to the physicians and helpful
in quieting the minds of the patients. Though, according
to her own words, she had "no natural love for sick
people," yet all suffering touched her heart deeply, and
she never attained to that indifference which would have
made her calling easier or less trying to her.
She was a pattern of diligence to all her fellow-
Sisters. She put her hand to everything, and her good
constitution (she was only thirty-four when she came to
Bonn) and her innate practical abilities stood her in good
stead. She once wrote to a friend : " Here we fare well
when others fare ill ; that is, we are glad to have so much

8o SISTER AUGUSTINE.
work, which means having so many sick people." Whilst
often saying to her fellow-Sisters, " Don't overwork your
selves — don't do more than is absolutely necessary ; that
will be quite enough," she herself always undertook what
was most difficult and disagreeable (as, for example, the
dressing of the dead) in order to save the others trouble
and exertion.
The Sisters were fully aware of the love their Superior
bore them, and they responded to it with the warmest
affection. Surprise was often expressed in the parent
house that all the Sisters had a preference for the Bonn
hospital over all others, and that many tears were shed
when they had to leave it, whilst they came and went
from other institutions with perfect indifference. "I do
not wonder at it," Sister Augustine remarked, " for I treat
my Sisters as human beings, and not as pieces of wood."
When young Sisters, who were accustomed to constraint
and continual superintendence, were sent to her from the
parent house, they at first had some difficulty in feeling at
ease under the spirit which prevailed in the hospital at
Bonn. For them it was something unheard of that Sister
Augustine demanded no blind, silent obedience, but rather
preferred modest suggestions or even contradiction irom
them, when she herself, from ignorance or otherwise, might
propose anything which could not easily be done. The
following little episode is characteristic of the mistaken
ideas in which the novices were brought up. The janitor
of the hospital was carrying some heavy sacks down to the
cellar ; happening to come up against one of these young
Sisters on the staircase, she indignantly reproved him by
saying, " How dare you push me, who am a temple of the

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 8 1
Holy Ghost .' " The Superior, greatly shocked, related the
occurrence 'to some friends, and on their being much amused
by it, she gravely remarked, " It is no laughing matter, I
assure you ; I could weep over it ! "
There was scarcely a single Sister who, after staying
some time at the hospital at Bonn, was able to withstand
the influence of the Superior's work and character, and
whose sanctimoniousness, acquired at Nancy, did not, under
Sister Augustine's influence, give way to simple and healthy
piety. Sister Augustine possessed in no common degree the
gift of discernment of character, and accordingly novices
were often sent to her, in order that she might decide as to
whether they should remain in the Order or not. She very
rarely made a mistake in regard to any one. A young
Sister was once sent to her, who had been in many con
vents, and had everywhere been dismissed as " unfit for an
Order." She had early been left an orphan, dependent on
the kindness of relations, and being extremely shy and
modest, she had, in consequence of continual neglect, lost
confidence and self-esteem. She had therefore become
in every way as helpless as a child, really unfit for any
work. There had been some talk of dismissing her from
the Order, but, at her entreaty, she was allowed to remain,
and, as a last resource, was sent to the Bonn hospital.
Sister Augustine soon discovered the cause of her timidity,
and devoted herself to her with unwearied care, treating
her with the greatest confidence in order to gain her trust*
and thus to awaken her self-reliance and courage. After
much trouble, she finally succeeded in training the despised
and useless novice so far as to make her one of the most
G

82 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
able of the Sisters. Her knowledge and energy became
so indispensable in the hospital, that Sister Augustine firmly
refused all offers of the parent house to call her away.
This Sister was most deeply attached to the Superior, and
faithfully shared all her joys and griefs during the many
years they spent together, and her face was always the
surest indication of Sister Augustine's inmost feelings.
However different in character they may have been, their
mutual friendship was as strong and deep as seldom is
the case in convents. She used jokingly to call this quiet,
gentle Sister her " httle chicken.''
The Sisters looked forward each day to the leisure hour
in the evening after supper, when they would gather round
the "Mother" in a happy circle in the refectory, and in
summer time in the garden, preparing potatoes and other
vegetables for next day's use, and telling her of all that
had occurred during the day. She had a kind word or a
joke for each of them, often relating some interesting
story. "We are very happy together," she says in one
of her letters, in which she gives a description of her life
with her Sisters ; and their intercourse was, indeed, the
most perfect fulfilment of that rule of the Order (XV. i6)
which bids them "remember that they are Sisters of Mercy,
and that they ought to be of one heart and one soul, as
according to Scripture the early Christians were." Indeed,
all who visited the Bonn hospital were much impressed by
the affection which the Sisters showed to each other, and
the little ruses they employed to help one another. The
rule which the Superior had to be most strict in enforcing,
and the violation of which most frequently called forth
rebukes on her part, was that each Sister should be satis-

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 83
fied with the work appointed to her. She was, indeed, a
very mother, not only to the Sisters, but to every inmate
of the house. She had a warm heart for all, and knew
how to find out what was best and noblest in every
character, and to take advantage of it for good. She
used to say that hardly anything had ever made so deep
an impression on her as Sailer's words : " In every human
being, unless he be completely hardened, there is still one
bright spot, and one point of susceptibility for that which
is good. This is the point by which to take hold of him
and raise him, so that the light which is in him may
gradually dispel the darkness. If God, in His holiness, is
so long-suffering towards sinners, should we not be so too ? "
One of Sister Augustine's principles was, to find fault
as little as possible with inferiors, and never to give them
long scoldings. If pained by any fault of theirs, she could
often be silent for days together ; although it would have
eased her mind to speak openly, yet she considered silence
the best way of convincing the erring. She also thought
it far more effectual to appeal to their feelings of honour,
than to humiliate them by reproaches. She wrote : " The
Saviour never lost patience when His disciples misunder
stood or altogether failed to understand Him ; their
spiritual poverty could never exhaust the riches of His
merciful love. What a condemnation of me there is in
this ! How impatiently, and with how little love and
sympathy, I treated one of my fellow-Sisters to-day ! In
spite of her want of understanding, she is possessed of
a heart that seeks God humbly, and therefore finds Him.
Enviable possession, devoid of which I must ever remain
poor ! "

84 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Every time she had occasion to dism.iss a member of
the household, on account of insubordination, cost her a
painful struggle.
On one occasion, when many other mistresses would
have dismissed the person in question at once, she said,
" I have been doing all in my power with  for years
past, and God alone knows what a continual trial of
patience she is to me ; so much so, that it hurts my
health, and yet I repeatedly ask whether it may not be
for her good and for my own to keep her."
When she had once decided to dismiss a domestic,
neither prayers nor entreaties, far less the intercessions
of others, could induce her to change the resolve that
she had with reluctance, but deliberately, taken. On such
rare occasions, her passionate nature, over which she kept
so strict a watch, flashed forth with such terrifying power,
that any attempt at interposition was not likely to be
repeated. Many little events of daily life proved how dearly
the " Mother " was loved by all the inmates of the hos
pital. On one occasion, some friends, calling on her,
were met by the old gatekeeper, who wept aloud and
exclaimed, " She is gone, she is gone ! " " Who is gone ? "
they asked in surprise. "Oh, the 'Mother' has left us,"
was the reply, " and we do not know where she is ! "
Sister Augustine had gone to visit the Church of St. Apol-
lonarius, near Remagen, along with the Lady Superior
of Nancy, and the old men had wept like children at her
departure. The Superior soon became so deeply attached to the
sphere of her labours, that she regarded the hospital as

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 85.
her second home ; and indeed, it was difficult to imagine
the house without her. Accordingly, there was no small
alarm when, in the autumn of 185 1, the report was spread
that Sister Augustine was about to be removed to Berlin.
In November, 185 1, she wrote to Frau von Drufifel :
" This spectre of Berlin has been making me feel quite
cross all the morning. A number of people here actually
believe it, and the curators considered themselves called
upon to write, without my knowledge, a pressing letter to
Nancy. They did not tell me what they had done until
they had received a favourable answer, and had been
told that no change was contemplated, nor would be
in the future, unless in a case of absolute necessity. I
cannot help laughing at the idea of another not being quite
as able as I am to fill the place here. Of course, I prefer
remaining where I am. Bonn is so lovely and pleasant,
that I should show as little good taste as our curators,
if I preferred Berlin to it. But you must keep this whole
story to yourself; I have insisted also on the gentlemen
keeping the matter secret, threatening them with the loss
of my good graces if they do not."
Sister Augustine's labours were not restricted to the
hospital alone ; many cases of physical and spiritual need
from without claimed her attention, and she never dismissed
one of them coldly or unsympathetically. Just as she gave
all her heart to her calling and her daily round of duties,
so with all her heart she gave her advice in her little ante
room, making it a real place of refuge, to which many re
sorted in joy and sorrow. She knew how to rejoice with
those who rejoice, and to weep with those who weep ; but
she did not stop at mere expressions of sympathy— she was

86 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
ever ready to help by word or deed where help was needed.
When Christian charity demanded it, she never considered
herself bound by the restrictions laid upon her by the
Order. On such occasions she did not act according to
the letter of the law ; she followed rather the original spirit
of the Order, which repeatedly insisted that Christian love
should be the basis of all action, even to the setting aside
of mere outward rules.
In January, 1865, Dr. Velten, the hospital physician,
lay seriously ill of inflammation of the lungs ; he was
thought to be dying, and the attending physician found him
in a state of unconsciousness. His wife and daughters were
in such distress as to lose all presence of mind, and to be
unable to render the necessary assistance. Sister Augustine
went to see him, and the physician begged her to remain
the night. She rephed that the rules of the Order did
not permit her doing so, but added, " Do you think my
remaining might be of consequence to the patient's life .' "
The doctor replied that it would. " Then I shall remain,"
she said. That night the crisis took place, and by next
morning all danger was over.
There was hardly a form of sorrow that did not turn to
her for relief, and where this was beyond her power to give,
she at least gave her full sympathy. Poor women, oppressed
by the cares of every-day life, by sickness and poverty;
princesses, whose grief arose as often from the isolation
inseparable from their position as from anything else ; men,
who found it hard to keep to the straight path amid the
battle of life, or who, faint in the fight, sought for new
strength and courage ; children, who had hurt themselves
at play and cried for help — all, without distinction, she

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 87
sought to comfort as far as in her lay. "When there is
nothing else to give, we can always give love!' She had
retained these words in her memory from childhood, and
she constantly put them into operation in her life.
Her care for the patients on leaving the hospital fol
lowed them to their distant homes, and the letters she sent
them were like those of a tender mother. Thus she wrote,
for example, to the wife of an invalid who had left the
hospital : " My dear, good little wife ! — for as stich you
are engraven on my heart, and your lord and master must
allow me to encroach on his rights in calling you so. Yet
you would have had a good scolding from me, if your
letter had not arrived yesterday, which put an end to
my serious anxiety by its satisfactory contents, and thus
obtained pardon for what my sympathizing heart con
sidered a rather cruel delay. I am most thankful that our
dear invalid has so soon recovered, as his good appetite
and good looks prove. That he does not sleep very well
gives me no anxiety ; that is what all patients expe
rience during the first stage of recovery," etc.
When death was about to enter the circle of her friends,
it was Sister Augustine's help that was sought. Her pre
sence comforted the dying, and her warm sympathy calmed
the sorrow of the survivors.
She wrote to a widowed friend : " At last I have a
spare moment to address you in your sorrow. I am with
you in thought oftener than I am able to prove by writing.
Alas ! I found in your letter the expression of the painful
struggle which takes place when those we love best are
taken from us ; but do not think that the bleeding of our
heart renders less holy the sacrifice which we offer to God,

88 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
The Saviour too passed through the same darkness, and
thus knows the intensity of our tribulation, and what it is
to struggle for resignation."
Sister Augustine was often requested to try and per
suade those who were dying, and who had for years been
estranged from the Church, to return to it — a request
which she very unwillingly complied with. She con
sidered such dealing with the human soul to be the
prerogafive of God alone, and she felt that He knew
best what to do. She placed little confidence in any
officious attempts at conversion, even when such attempts
were apparently successful. In her opinion, the receiving
of the extreme Unction was not of vital importance ; it was
rather the return of the heart to God that was all-impor
tant, and which required more than human strength to
accomplish in a soul that had lived for years without faith
and hope. " Christianity ought never to be forced upon
people ; in doing this the Catholic Church does much
harm, " she once said. Occasionally, however, she was
obliged to comply with such requests, " in order not to
give offence," as she said ; and then, in a few but tender
words, she would explain, simply and earnestly, how the
demands of the Cliurch coincided with the wants of the
human heart, so that the patients would sometimes, to the
astonishment of others, express of their own accord their
desire to partake of the Sacraments,
A friend from Coblenz, Johannes von B  , who had
lived in Bonn for some years, was ill and dying. He had
lived the greater part of his life in complete estrange
ment from the Church, and had refused all attempts of his
pastor, as well as of his friend. Bishop Krementz, to per-

LIFE AND LABOURS IN THE HOSPITAL AT BONN. 89
suade him to partake of the Sacraments. At last they
gave up their endeavours, but asked Sister Augustine to
go to the dying man and make the same request of him.
She consented reluctantly and went. She had hardly, in
her simple, winning manner, told the reason of her calling,
than the sufferer begged that she would cause the Sacra
ments to be brought to him. He died soon afterwards,
having repeatedly expressed his joyful gratitude to her.
Sometimes she was asked to bring about, directly or
indirectly, a conversion to her own Church, but this she
always most decidedly refused. She hated all proselytizing,
and was especially careful to see that the religious feelings
of no one were hurt in her house. In one of her letters to
Frau Mendelssohn she mentions that she was quite proud
at that time to have fourteen Protestant patients in her
Catholic hospital ; and it is characteristic of the care with
which she watched over the religious peace within the hos
pital, that on receiving a parcel of books for the Protes
tant patients, she sent them to a friend to look over, asking
her to remove all such as might malign the Catholics, and
thus disturb the harmony of the wards.
The Superior showed so much deference to the
religious liberty of every one in the house, that although
the greater number of domestic servants in the hospital
placed themselves under the pastoral care of the Jesuits,
to whom she had a great antipathy, yet she never objected
to it, nor to their going to the distant church belonging
to the confession, although, owing to her great influence
cn all the members of the household, she would have had
uo difficulty in persuading them to do otherwise.
" I am indeed the last one to cast a stumbling-block in

90 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
the way of any one's faith," she said ; and perhaps the
cause of her great influence in the hospital was that she
confined herself entirely to her calling as a nurse, without
attempting to be at the same time physician and priest.

CHAPTER Vn.
INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER.
For the first fifteen years since joining the order Sister
Augustine had pursued the same quiet course in her out
ward life. "The machinery of daily life revolves just as
usual," she observed constantly in her letters of this period.
Yet her inner spiritual life grew all the more active and
varied in these years, developing itself fully and richly
within the narrow limits of daily duty.
The mainspring of her character was truth and un
selfish love. Her sense of truth was so deep and living
that she could not endure the slightest suspicion of false
hood in herself, nor could she make the least allowance
for this fault in others. She would be deeply distressed
on finding the slightest trace of untruth in her own heart.
We find the following passage in her diary : " God, is it
possible that the very sin dwells in my own heart which
I have always so abhorred in others .' I ask Thee rather
to leave every other fault within me, than that of hypocrisy,
which is surely one of hell's first-fruits. I raise my hands
to Thee, with the earnest entreaty for enlightenment.
Help my feeble will, and grant that I may find no rest
until I have become quite true-^true to myself, and true to
others!"

92 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
By untruth .she understood not only what is generally
known as lying, but every action dorte contrary to con
viction ; the desire of appearing to others better than one
really is ; all display of imaginary personal self-righteous
ness, and the attempt to make a compromise with sin by
indulging it in secret, whilst outwardly professing to have
laid it aside. She often bitterly complained that this
species of untruthfulness, so repugnant to her straight
forward and honest character, was to so great an extent
prevalent in convents. " In former days matters were in
a better state with us," she once said ; " but since the
Jesuits have the upper hand in the direction of our con
vents, the tendency towards untruthfulness has spread
to us." Against untruthfulness, however, and wheresoever
it was to be found, she would sometimes allow herself to
use very strong expressions. " The worst is," she on one
occasion gravely added, " that we find untruth on looking
into our own heart."
Next to untruthfulness she found most difficulty in
keeping her temper with stupidity, and she used inwardly
" to tremble all over " when, after long, distinct, and oft-
repeated explanations, she found herself still misunder
stood. She ever struggled with much earnestness against
her quick temper ; but if sometimes it got the better of
her, which, however, seldom happened, it would grieve her
for days together. " Every new dawn," she wrote, " shows
a new struggle with my own heart, till the last sunset will
beckon me to my final rest. Yet how good is it for us
that we have to fight, and that we must exercise so much
patience towards ourselves. How should I ever bear the
burdens of others, had my own not so often been a drag

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 93
upon my steps .' I have had to learn patience and
thoughtful consideration in the school of my own heart,
in order that I might easily understand the subject when
treated of in the experience of others. If my own
wounds had not been so deep and painful, I should never
have been able to bind up and heal those of my poor
patients." Again : " As long as I live, the hardest task
for my proud heart will ever be that of having patience
with myself."
She had to fight another hard battle in subduing her
tendency to moodiness, and more especially to melancholy,
which, in spite of the strength of mind she herself called
her "happy thoughtlessness," seemed to lie in the very
nature of her spirit, and which cost her years of struggle
to overcome. In one of her letters she says, " The eye of
God alone can look into the depth of my heart, and see
how joy, sadness, and grief are constantly struggling for
a supremacy which none of them can ever completely
- gain. ... In the course of the year many a day is spent
under a dark sky, breaking and closing without a ray
of sunlight to brighten it. It is just so in my little
world. For days together I go about mechanically, with
out so much as .once raising the eye of faith towards
the everlasting hills." She compared such days to "the
autumn winds that strip the trees of their fohage."
In 1854 she wrote : "When you have to groan, as I do,
under the constant oppression of an hourly changing state
of mind, then you can understand what a depth of blessed
ness is expressed by the words ' entering into the rest that
remaineth for the people of God.' Yet these painful
changes are a preparation for heaven. Through storm and

94 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
rain, through heat and cold, the pilgrim must continue his
way, till his weary feet reach heaven and the rest of
his Father's home. The heart must be prepared by the
sorrow and bitterness of life for the enjoyment of eternal
rest." Again she writes : " It is said that evil spirits
take flight at the sign of the Cross ; I can well believe it,
for God has often employed the same means with my
soul. . . ."
It is evident that she experienced dark moments
from many passages in her letters and diary. After on
one occasion describing the peaceful calm of a lovely
Spring morning, she continues : " Sometimes a sabbath
peace like this finds its reflection in my soul. But how
many days, weeks, and months of storm and darkness
must pass over me, before I can experience such a blissful
moment of rest ? How seldom the risen Saviour enters
my heart with the blessed salutation : 'Peace be with thee !
It is I, be not afraid ! ' Yes, when His wounded hand
grants me the inward consciousness of His presence, then,
indeed, a spring-tide awakes within my soul, with flowers
which the warm sunlight of His grace opens to far greater
beauty than those of earth. But, alas ! how seldom such
sunshine breaks through the dark clouds of my sky, and
it is the deepest sorrow of my wounded soul to know that
it is by my own fault that so little is granted me."
" The sky to-day is hid in mist and clouds," she writes
in March, 1854 ; "I seek in vain for a spot on which the
eye may rest. I cannot solve the problem how it is that
the sky can throw such dark shadows on the mirror of
our souls, but I know that it is my own fault if to-day
God hides Himself from me in clouds and darkness, so

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 95
that I feel how bitter is my loneliness. I have long known
these judgments of love, sent to still the tempest within
my soul. I must again be made to feel my own loneliness,
that with yearning heart I may turn my steps to my
beloved Home."
The same longing is expressed, though somewhat less
sadly, in the pages of her diary : " Yesterday I once again
had the pleasure of standing on the summit of a hill, and
of being greatly impressed by the scene. In the church
there I was as happy and peaceful as if I had left all my
cares in the valley below. I felt as if, having laid aside
all my burden, I could now kneel down and lovingly re
member those who were still tossed about in the tempest
of life. . . . We went behind the church to the hillside,
and gazed on a lovely valley, with peaceful cottages, which
looked as if the sorrows of the world could riever enter
them. I could not see into the hearts of the poor inhabi
tants, whose inner world may have presented, perhaps, a
very different aspect. I can never altogether comprehend
now a peaceful solitude like this should make me so sad.
Is it the painful contrast between the beauty and freedom
of nature and the backward and stunted growth of my own
soul .'' Does the peaceful landscape bring me a greeting
from the everlasting hills, whose peace is never troubled
by a storm ^ Yes, the sadness that fills the heart is only
home-sickness — a yearning for our Father's House ! "
The simplest occurrences of every-day life could some
times awaken painful reflections in her soul. "Yesterday
evening we saw from our windows the well-filled barn of
our poor neighbour burnt to the ground. Some of the
onlookers observed, 'This store contains, in all probability.

96 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
one-half of all the man possesses. The barn stands quite
alone in the open field ; who can have set it on fire ? '
' If it is insured,' another remarked, ' perhaps the owner may
have set it on fire himself, for his own ends ! ' Did not
those words contain a lesson for my soul ? Have I not
often seen the fruits I have taken such trouble to acquire,
destroyed by the fire in my passionate heart, so that
nothing remained but the sting of an accusing conscience ?
Was I not made secure by my convent life, and is not the
blame of hurling the burning brand into my heart all
my own ? How often have I sought full security in my
loneliness, in my being altogether done with the outside
world, without having considered that by allowing all
that God's hand has planted in the human soul to be
come parched, I have thereby brought my heart into a
condition that the merest spark is sufficient to kindle a
destructive flame ! "
These melancholy moods were not dispelled either by
the influence of the wide sphere of the activity she loved
so well, or by the friendship and the intercourse with the
many who sought her acquaintance. In the former case
her earnest conscientiousness found too often only a cause
of accusing herself of negligence, laziness, and selfishness.
In her diary she says, " I sent away those two poor
children yesterday without sympathy and help, acting on
the reasoning of my cold judgment, in order that the rules
of the house might not be broken. I was obedient to
these principles, but it was at the cost of my peace of
mind, for I was unable to pray the whole day. When, as
a happy release from the day's turmoil, I sought in the
evening peace and strength in meditation, I found rather

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 97
that I had entered a court of justice, where I had to listen
to the stern words of my own condemnation : ' Thou hast
wounded others to-day, instead of healing them ; therefore
I have no feeling, no soothing balm for thy wounds.'"
Again she writes : " My low spirits are not occasioned by
my having to begin the new year on a sick-bed, but by the
consciousness that my soul is sick for want of living in
active love to God and man. I may, indeed, thank God
for not demanding of me what He did of the scribes. How
shouldl have stood in His presence had He said to me
'My child, show Me the tribute-money which thou em-
ployest in thy intercourse with the world ; bring forth to
My view, without dissimulation or self-deception, thine own
image, that I may see whether it has been transformed
into that of thy Redeemer ' .¦¦ With what shame would I
gaze on those features which do not bear the marks of the
Lamb's blood and tears, but rather of a hidden, sinful
world of their own ! He might well reproachfully have
said, 'This is not My image, but that of the prince of
darkness ; render then unto him that which is his ! Thy
hand has kindled another fire than that for which I suf
fered at Golgotha ! ' . . . For many years past my ex
perience has been that neglect of the poor and sick is the
cause which paralyzes all my strength of will to such a
degree, that all the other powers of my soul are blasted, as
if by lightning. It is assuredly known to Him whose
will it is to heal me by this bitter medicine, how this state
of entire lassitude and coldness oppresses and saddens me ;
for I am forced by the sufferings of my own soul to turn
my mind to other occupations,. however much my ener
vated nature may shrink from them. I seldom begin my
II

98 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
work conscious of a noble motive ; but whilst occupied in
it, a ray of light breaks through the gloom, warming my
cold heart, and the eye of Everlasting Mercy looks down
upon the labour of my feeble hands, teaching the old
lesson, that inward happiness and constant peace are alone
given to him who faithfully performs his duty."
Another page of her diary proves how little she herself
was conscious of this : " How infinitely distant I yet am
from the goal which I had thought to reach so soon by
dint of good will ; for among the poor I sought to be rich,
I sought health among the sick, and among the dying, life.
It is not the fault of the school I am in, nor that of the
highest of Masters, that I never get beyond the merest
rudiments; but I am often hke the child that beats the
lifeless object on which it has hurt itself"
Another time she wrote : " If people only knew how
they wound me to the quick by their praises, they would
indeed pity me. The truth which I would most willingly
hide from my own eyes, is that of never having, in all
my life, looked back at night with satisfaction upon my
day's work ; I have never been conscious of performing
a single good action which I might have laid down, as
pure and spotless, at the foot of the altar. God knows
how unhappy this made me in my worldly days, and
how it drove me to look out for other aims of life,
hoping then, at least, to be able to say to myself, ' To
day I have done what I could.' The circle of my duties
has widened, and so also have increased the tokens of His
grace, who alone can give me strength to fulfil these duties;
accordingly my responsibility has increased, and my sorrow
is all the more bitter because I have the more reason for it."

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO tHE ORDER. 99
These morbid feelings increased almost to melancholy,
when one of the inmates of the hospital, a confirmed
drunkard, drowned himself in the Rhine. After having
watched and nursed him for a long time with the greatest
care, the Sisters had thought him completely cured, and,
upon his earnest entreaties, the Lady Superior allowed him
to go out for an hour one Sunday afternoon. In vain he
was expected and searched for till nightfall ; he had fallen
back into his old habits, and thrown himself into the river
in a half-conscious state.
Sister Augustine constantly reproached herself, and
these finally so weighed upon her spirits, that an old friend
advised her to consult a specialist for nervous complaints.
This advice hurt her deeply, and she began to be alarmed
about herself; at the same time, however, she became
aware of her danger and had energy enough to struggle
against it. " Just as you yourself have experienced for a
time the depressing effect of low spirits," she wrote to her
friend, "thus, as you know, a cloud of gloom has long rested
on my heart. I do not know how to get rid of this load,
and can only describe it by saying that I feel as if I never
could be happy again. God alone knows how deeply I
despise myself for feeling thus. May He forgive my in
gratitude! However, for your comfort and mine, I can
add that light is beginning to dawn on my soul, though all
is not quite clear and peaceful yet."
She strove hard to overcome this state of depression.
In 1854 she writes in her diary: "My earnest endeavour
must ever be to raise my soul above the momentary
influences of my changeful moods, in order not to be
ever at the mercy of that which dims the spiritual eye

100 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
and robs me of my best strength. To what heights
must I ascend, in order to gain the mastery over myself,
and calmly to look down upon the sunshine and the
storm ! I will employ all my strength in bringing the lowei
motives of my soul into subjection to the higher. Rest
with God is the home from which nothing shall succeed in
banishing m^e. I must keep to this rule, if I would be an
inhabitant of the kingdom of peace. Though the burning
sunshine, or the winter's frost, may sometimes delay the pil
grim's steps, obliging him to pause by the way, yet he will
ever again hasten on to the spot where His cradle stood,
and where His mother's arms encircled Him. If man can
mount to heights from whence to look down upon the
clouds at his feet, why should my soul be content to inhabit
those lower regions, where its gaze is blinded by storm and
tempest ? "
By constant acts of self-control, she had early suc
ceeded in not permitting her depression to become out
wardly apparent, so that for years her acquaintances, and
even her nearest friends, had no idea of her tendency
to melancholy. She writes about this time : " I look
upon it as a solemn duty, to comfort the poor and the
sick by cheerfulness and kindness, and thus to overcome,
if possible, the sadness of these poor sufferers. Such
a state of mind is only the painful consciousness of our
own weakness, which, like a branch of thorns, twines itself
round head and heart, thrusting its cruel points deep into
the soul, and checking every expression of joy. After
years of training I have at last succeeded, by my bright
face, in giving the lie to my eyes, red with weeping, and
thus in deceiving almost all with whom I come in contact.

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. IOI
though perhaps not my nearest friends. But with what
doubly crushing power these feelings return when I am
alone and unseen, particularly when my duties allow me
an hour of freedom, is known to Him alone, -who wrestles
with me and yet ever again raises my drooping soul. No
other hand but His could heal so deep a wound."
The outer world, with which, from her position as
Superior of the hospital, she could not help coming in
contact, brought to her heart even less comfort than
her daily round of duty. In her diary she says, " God
alone knows how hard it often is to live here from
morning to night for others, most of them strangers !
If they had only been brought to me by some great
sorrow, which I could soothe by sympathy, I would
gratefully recognize my duty, and endeavour to perform it ;
but as it is, I can only look upon this constant intercourse
as a simple loss of time, hurtful and impoverishing to my
soul. These empty, meaningless conversations put me so
completely out of humour, that for long afterwards I am
unable to do my work with anything like satisfaction."
Completely unfitted for such society, and, in addition,
disquieted by the usual cares and troubles of the day, she
appears at times to have been quite overpowered by the
pressure of surrounding circumstances. " I am beginning
to lose all faith in my own so-called good intentions," she
once wrote, "as I cannot even banish from my soul the
cares and occupations of the day, during the short hours
of prayer! Long ago I should have treated trifles hke
these merely -as stepping-stones, over which my feet must
hasten to Him in whom alone the soul finds peace. I
went to bed last night thoroughly vexed with myself.

I02 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
for I had only made use of the short moments of prayer
in mentally gazing at the daily round of household cares,
as if this were a way of fulfilling my duties. I seem
altogether to forget that work is sanctified by earnest
prayer ; but true, effectual prayer, is silenced when the
affairs of the world engross the mind."
Next to her night-watching at the sick-bed, her favourite
hours were those spent at the chapel altar, which she
described as " the spot where she had always found rest
and peace."
We find the following passage in her diary : " As the
starlight pales before the rays of the sun, so at even
tide the troubles of the day vanish from my soul, if only
I can secure an hour of prayer before the altar. In the
presence of my Redeemer I find all that I have lost in
the heat and battle of the day. If intercourse with the
world has embittered my heart, I am always sure to find
the strengthening power of Christian love in the quiet
sanctuary of the tabernacle. If the ingratitude of the
poor has paralyzed my energy, then I can hear from the
lips of my Redeemer that, although human ingratitude
has given Him many a grievous wound, yet His own
great love alone has nailed Him to the cross. Though
I appear before Him poor in faith, in love, and in hope,
comfortless in view of eternity, still I can hear the sweet
assurance, ' My child, I will not forsake thee.' "
On another page she says, "When I am permitted, as
to-day I have been, to partake of the Holy Communion at
early morning, and my heart is filled with the joys of
heaven, I cannot, during such moments, understand how
the day's turmoil can so soon rob me of my peace. Such

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 103
blessed morning hours are but the dim forecastings of that
brightness which will overspread the firmament on that
morning when the day-star shall arise. My weak sight
would be blinded in the presence of such light ; still my
heart can picture, however indistinctly, the dwellings pre
pared for us above, by Him who suffered sj unspeakably
on earth, to reconcile us to the Father." " Blessed hours ! "
she exclaims, "why are you too subject to the laws of
nature, taking away from me all that you have bestowed ?
Why does not the Lord of nature check your swift steps,
and compel you to be for ever present with us .'' But I can
well understand the Saviour's plan ; He refreshes us, in
order to awaken in us a longing for that City on high,
where the hours are under the sway of His sceptre, and
where no veil can hide Him from our eyes ! "
She regarded the Holy Sacrament as the most valuable
of all the means of grace in a time of need. Thus, she
wrote: "My partaking of the Holy Communion to-day was
quite an exceptional case. When St. Peter saw his be
loved Master from afar, his fervent love caused him quite
to overlook the intervening waves and billows, and to
hasten across the waters to the feet of his Lord. Not
such fervent love, indeed, but rather my inward want and
misery, made me forget the gulf which divides my heart
from that of the Redeemer. I seemed to have almost
forgotten that, for long, not a single earnest prayer of mine
has told Him how, in spite of my wishing to love Him
above all, my heart still continues cold and unimpressed.
But the Lord, so far from rejecting me, in His intense
pity received me in my despair. . . . Our faithful Saviour,
indeed, well knew what in His constant personal Presence

I04 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
He gave to the world, but especially to the convents
which arose in later centuries, within whose walls the in
habitants are obliged to silently bury the bitterest sorrows
of their hearts. When mind and body ache under the
burden of my calling, and I strive to hide my pain from
those around me — in whose heart then could I seek help
but in His, who never sent the helpless away.'' Ah! he
who has once experienced the comfort of reposing there
can well understand how readily the heart can bid fare
well to an earthly glory, which must perish with time.
And yet the Saviour would not grant us a constant, living
consciousness of His presence ; and why ? He allows
us to feel the pressure of our chains, in order that, like
prisoners, we might long for freedom. Another truth, too,
seems to me to be contained here : His love wished the
unity, not the discord, of His children. Our spiritual eye
may not ever look into His open heart ; it was purposed
that we should at times feel helpless, lonely, and lorsaken
only that we might cling in affectionate sympathy to our
fellow-men, bear joy and grief together, and comfort and
support each other. We must be like Him, for His love
is like that of a faithful mother, watching over the falter
ing steps ofher children."
Her desire to put her thoughts and feelings into
words was at times so strong, and her spiritual loneliness
in the Order to which she belonged was so great, that,
in order to gain a clear insight into the workings of her
own mind, she would often jot down her experiences
and reflections in writing, and then commit the pages to
the flames. " I feel then," she wrote, " as if a faithful
heart were sharing my joys and sorrows." "It would

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 105
appear," she continues, "as if God had so implanted the
desire for communion with others in my heart, that even
life within an Order, with all its outward forms and
hindrances, though it may check, can never uproot it. How
unsatisfactory, or rather, how maiming, the spirit of an
Order, or indeed 01 almost all convents, is to the human
heart, which God surely intended to ennoble and to sanctify
by communion with others."
A few of these notes have been preserved without her
knowledge, and they give us a clear insight into her
inmost soul.
If, on entering the convent, Sister Augustine's position
was a completely isolated one, all the rest of her life
within the Order, apart from the sphere of activity which
it provided her with, and regarded only from a religious
point of view, was a constant struggle for existence ; but
she stood merely on the defensive, contenting herself with
simply rejecting all that did not agree with her own
religious views. She had a way of silently refusing, with
out contradicting, what was proposed to her, which her
Superiors found difficulty in meeting, and which they had
as silently to submit to.
It she was asked to give an opinion with regard to
anything connected with the Order, or about any par
ticular measures or persons, she did so with a frankness
and candour that arose always from a sincere love for
her Order, and which those were surprised at who were
acquainted with the circumstances, and knew the conse
quences which her fearlessness might bring upon herself.
It happened, on one occasion, that the authorities had
desired the immediate dismissal of an excellent physician.

I06 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
for the simple reason that the poor children in the hospital
showed him more affection and confidence than they did
to the Sisters. Such, at least, was the explanation which
the head of the hospital herself gave to Sister Augustine.
The latter gravely and earnestly expressed her strong
disapproval of all such jealousy, and she gave her opinion
most decidedly in the parent house against the desire, so
common among members of a Sisterhood, of their being
considered the sole objects and the centre of all affection
and respect She considered this tendency exactly opposed
to the unselfishness and renunciation of all earthly reward,
according with the spirit of the Order.
Sister Augustine never required from herself or her
fellow-Sisters that so-called humihty, which is actually the
result of inward falsehood, or at best of weakness. She
desired rather that true humility, which seeks neither itself
nor its own honour in anything — that true Christian charity
which chooses its " own quiet hidden paths," as she says in
one of her letters ; adding, " What a contrast between a true
and a false Christianity ! "
Sometimes the honesty of her words made an im
pression, but the contrast between herself and the new
spirit which now prevailed in the Order was too profound,
and the influence of the opposing party too strong, to allow
of her opinions ever being acted upon.
Although her fellow-Sisters and herself had the same
end in view — to serve God and to sanctify themselves by
devotion to the sick — yet the ways by which they severally
sought to attain their ends were very diflferent. Sister
Augustine did not herself feel so much at variance with the
actual convent rules, although these demanded much to

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 10/
which it was hard for her to submit — she had, indeed, in
every -way conformed to them, so that they had become
her very life and spirit — ^but since her entrance into
the Order, narrow-mindedness, one-sidedness, and untruth
fulness had called forth innumerable new regulations and
ceremonies, which for the most part were entirely opposed
to the spirit of Christian love expressed in the old rules.
So, too, these latter received new definitions. Thus, for
example. Rule VII. 4, commanded the Sisters never to
speak to their patients on general matters, but only of
what is fitted to comfort and instruct them ; though, in a
previous clause of the same rule, they are told that then
only do they fulfil their calling of nurses to the sick, when
their every action is prompted by love. Sister Augustine
was filled with this spirit, when she carried comfort to the
sick-bed by a bright, cheerful conversation, entering into
the general interests, as well as the spiritual needs of all ;
and she gave instruction more by deed than by word, or by
so-called edifying talk. In contrast to the original spirit of
the Order, a rule was afterwards introduced, requiring that
the Sisters, whilst engaged in their calling, should utter
no words but what were absolutely necessary, except per
haps a pioiis exhortation or two. They were ordered to
check all attempts of their patients to enter into a conver
sation of any length, and they were strictly forbidden to sit
down for any time in the sick-room.
Another proof of the change which had taken place in
the spirit of the Order was, the directions given to the young
Sisters to never allow their minds to dwell on home, or on
anything connected with their former life ; the original rule,
on the contrary, left them perfect liberty in regard to their

I08 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
own feelings. Another very characteristic instance may be
taken. The original rule gave positive permission, in cases
of extreme necessity, even to employ the "everlasting lamp,"
burning before the altar, in the service of Christian charity ;
the new directions in 1862 strictly forbade doing so under
any circumstances. The church services too, appointed for
the Sisters of Charity, which up to this time had been
exceedingly simple, were increased and disfigured by
strange and curious innovations. Almost all these direc
tions and ceremonies, which, in addition to the prescribed
rules, tend to narrow the life of the Sisters, aim at under
mining all personal independence, and at making them
mere tools in the hands of their Superiors.
It required all the warm, energetic spirit of Sister
Augustine to withstand such influences, all the earnestness
of her conscientiousness to keep true to the vows she had
taken upon her, and all the love for her calling, a love such
as God alone can give, to be happy in the duties she had
taken upon her.
Although she submitted as far as it was right to do so,
yet she always maintained that the foundation of all truth is
" to clearly understand your own mind, and to act accord
ing to personal conviction." And further, she considered
the task of a Christian to consist, not so much in crushing,
but rather in ordering and sanctifying all the powers of the
soul — in submitting reason, wish, and endeavour to do the
will of God, as it is expressed in His commandments, in the
voice of conscience, and in the demands which outward
circumstances make on the individual. She once wrote :
" I would be far from condemning every impulse of the
' human soul. I think it very rash to attempt plucking out

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 109
of the human heart that which God Himself has planted ;
that is a very crippled conception of Christianity."
In another passage, where she speaks of the pleasure of
associating with friends, she goes on to say, " There is a
style of caricatured piety, which considers all such personal
intercourse as destructive, or at least disturbing to spiritual
communion. For my part, I never agreed to this. I am
firmly convinced that He who has ordained the body to be
the dwelling-place of the spirit, has given power to the soul
to ennoble and sanctify, but in nowise to despise, the world
of feeling it inhabits."
In 1854 she wrote in her diary: " How peculiar it is,
that in youth we can so often clearly and definitely fear,
anticipate, or believe some things, of which as yet we can
have but little conception ! Thus, I remember in my early
years getting quite enthusiastic at the thoughts of the call
ing of a Sister of Mercy, and ardently desiring that son^e
day or other it might be my own. But at the same time
I was somewhat frightened at having to go into a con
vent in order to become one. How correct were my fore
bodings of the main conception of Christianity prevalent
in the convents, tending to undermine the very foundation
of the building which it is their aim to erect ! How hard
it often appeared to me, during my novitiate, to tread
the path which led to the end I so dearly loved ! What
havoc the rules and maxims of the convent made in my
soul, overthrowing what God's own hand had founded and
built ! To what a caricature is God's love often degraded
by man ! Surely the lifelong task of every Christian is, to
ennoble and to sanctify the feelings of the human heart,
but in nowise to uproot them with impious hand."

IIO SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Her warm susceptibility for friendship, het severe,
almost proud regard for truth, her lively interest for all -
that was beautiful and noble, her respect and regard for
the feelings of others, and, above all, her simple piety,
entirely free from all monasticism — all this appeared to
her fellow-Sisters, and more especially to the Ladies Supe
rior of Nancy and Treves, in strange and inexplicable
contradiction to the spirit of the Order.
The spiritual Superintendent of the " Congregation,"
when on a round of visits to the various hospitals, came to
that of Bonn. After having informed the Sisters of the
miracles which were alleged to have taken place in other
" Houses," he inquired whether any had occurred in the
Bonn hospital. Laughing heartily. Sister Augustine after
wards described his expression of naive surprise, on hearing
that nothing wonderful had ever come to her knowledge.
I;i consequence of this and similar occurrences, the Order
looked upon the Bonn hospital as a somewhat " ungodly "
one, and Sister Augustine was content that it should have
this reputation. She was quite aware that her manner did
not produce the usual impression of nuns of the present day,
and she wrote jokingly on this subject to Frau von Driififel,
after a visit from Professor M  of Luxemburg (formerly
secretary of Clemens Augustus) : " Herr M  was here
the other day, but unfortunately a number of other gentle
men were with him, so that I had hardly an opportunity
to ask him about my two sisters. I had also the morti
fication of seeing the excellent gentleman almost start
back affrighted from me, most likely in consequence of the
dreadful contrast between my own very unsaintly person
and those sweet, pious, dovelike Sisters in Luxemburg.

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. Ill
It was a pity the good gentleman took so long to recover
from his fright ; as it was, I let him go in peace and made
the best of a bad job."
As Sister Augustine, however, was always regarded as
a most valuable Superior, she was allowed to have her
own way in most things ; but the days on which she was
visited by the Superiors of the Order, and the time she
was occasionally obliged to spend at Nancy, only made
existing differences more painfully clear to her.
In May, 1854, after one of those days, she wrote: "I
am beginning to breathe more freely again ; for there are
one or two individuals with whom intercourse is most
unsympathetic and painful to me, their whole mode of
thought and judgment being opposed to the deepest feel
ings of my heart. I am less timid before open foes
than in the presence of him who conceals a weapon under
his garment. And when, in addition to this, the weapon
is concealed under a spiritual garment, only that it may
thereby wound him the deeper who is considered an
enemy because he holds opposite views, then, verily, my
heart fails me ! I feel as if the same- hand were prepared
to destroy the very image of God in my soul, and I had no
power to prevent it. This dreadful state of mind often preys
upon me for days together, till at last a kind of sadness
comes over me, and my nobler feelings again revive. Such
individuals are my soul's worst enemies, and I pray God
that, in the course of my duties to the Order, I may
never be banished into their immediate neighbourhood, for
were I compelled to have always before me such a cari
cature of holiness, or rather such an exhibition of con
ceited piety, I should lose all self-control. No ; may God

112 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
lead me ' rather into the deepest and stillest solitude on
earth ! "
It seemed almost impossible to her to master this
peculiar aversion. " In my intercourse with  I perceive,
clearly enough, how little my heart is in subjection to my
will. My strong will has indeed accomplished much in
my life, but it has never, even for a single moment, attained
the mastery over my heart. My heart has founded a little
kingdom of its own, and defends its rights with a hand so
strong, that I have lost all hope of ever being able, by
means of reason and remonstrance, to abolish or even
reform anything within it."
She was especially anxious not to let her aversion to
members of the Order with whom she had no sympathy,
be apparent in her external intercourse with them. She
often complained how incapable she was of accomplishing
this difficult task. "The heart of the Redeemer," she
writes, "had only kindness and forgiveness for all who
pained and hurt Him, but I have only coldness and
bitterness. Every moment of my life bears testimony
to His mercy, and yet I can meet with cold contempt,
for days together, those whose views give me pain."
According to a rule of the Order, it was customary for
the Superiors of all the institutions throughout France and '
Germany to assemble every two years, for the "retreat,"
in the parent house at Nancy. There they went through
a series of spiritual exercises, exchanged their several
opinions, and gave an account of their work. Such days
spent in mutual fellowship were well adapted to preserve a
living unity among the members of the Order, and might,
too, have proved days of refreshing rest for body and soul.

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. II3
But the old truth, that that which draws the cords of love
ever closer among friends serves only to make wider the
cleft of separation between characters that have no sym
pathy with one another, was here, as before, proved by
experience. Sister Augustine loved the simple, heartfelt piety which
she found in many of her fellow-Sisters, with whom she
formed close and lasting friendship, but as a whole the
spirit pervading the entire assemblage was completely
foreign and constrained to her. Those sentimental French
embellishments of Christianity which were thrust upon
her, as if her whole salvation depended upon them, became
more and more repugnant to her nature. For weeks
beforehand she dreaded the journey to Nancy, and it
was a long time before she could shake off the impressions
she had received there.
In i860, after a nine days' sojourn in Nancy, she wrote
to a friend : " Many so-called ' treasures ' were displayed
to our spiritual vision, but few of them excited any
longing within me to put forth my hand and take. The
chere mere, although she noticed this, left me perfectly
at liberty, thinking, no doubt, that if she used force, she
would only make my aversion the stronger." And again :
" It is just a year since I was called to Nancy, to return
here with my life the richer for a bitter experience. It is
hard for me, with my strong feelings, to think of the whole
transaction without bitterness. Help me by your prayers
to cleave more firmly and heartily to the Saviour, who can
make up for all our losses."
The insight she got on such occasions into the religious
life within the Order was very painful to her. She wrote in
I

114 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
1 862 to an old friend : " My inner and external loneliness
often leads me in thought to your family circle, which is so
dear to me. How glorious it must have been, during the
late fine weather, in your lovely grounds, and especially in
the garden that borders the Rhine ! The spell which God
gives to the beauties of nature, possesses a power similar to
that which speaks to our hearts in the Gospel, and recon
ciles us to much that is hard in the common course of life.
Yes, dear Rosa ! the sight of a blue, friendly horizon is now
almost entirely denied me ; but this has made me all the
more careful of late to read the Best of Books, that I may
again recover my peace of mind, which the experiences I
have just made had completely destroyed. Help me, then,
to pray for the one thing needful."
She wrote this letter at a time when the Order had
wronged her in a manner which wounded her deeply.
After hard struggles with herself she succeeded in for
giving the offence, but what she then experienced destroyed
for ever her respect for her superiors.
However, all the bitter experiences she had met with in
the Order never succeeded in causing her in any way to
regret the choice she had made of a calling.
In June, 1854, she wrote : " It is sixteen years to-day
since I knocked at the gate of St Charles, and begged for
admittance. Time and its changes have brought me much,
and taken much from me, and God knows better than I do
myself what has been gained and what lost to my soul.
But, iae that as it may, I have every reason to thank Him
for having, through all storms, preserved this one thing to
me — love to my work."
Still, for all these experiences, it was always its real

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. II5
practical aim which reconciled her to the Order. In one
of her letters she says, " Solitariness and a life of seclusion,
after all, are not good for the heart ; they rob it of its
best warmth. It is fortunate for me that I have become
necessary to many needy ones; in any other convent I
should have been completely lost." She regarded the
constant intercourse with sufferers of every description not
only as an advantage which her Order possessed over
many others, but as a safeguard from many errors, which
had in former days brought about the moral decay of
many convents.
On this point she wrote, after having visited Heister-
bach * in company with some near friends : " I have
brought home a little remembrance of yesterday's de
lightful excursion, which pleases me all the better as it
is useful and has made the fulfilment of my duties here
appear easier. The road conducted us to a ruined convent,
over which the destroying hand of war had passed, not
sparing even the beautiful sanctuary. Its ruined outlines
formed a painful contrast to the green fields, surrounded by
wooded hills, which look as if they walled off" that monastic
solitude from the outer world. Such mute remains of
departed greatness often remind us of the solemn truth
that when man is permitted to dwell in happy carelessness
in the fields of Eden, his heart generally becomes too apt to
exchange his paradise for baser joys. If the inhabitants
of many a convent could but haye looked into the future
and seen how recklessly the hand of time would destroy
those riches which they preferred to inestimably higher
* A favourite place of resort among the Siebengebirge, a few miles distant
from Bonn.

Il6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
blessings, truly posterity would not have had to judge
them so mercilessly, nor to witness the decay of monas
ticism. In this respect our calling seems to afiford a better
guarantee for the continued existence of our Order. Our
treasures are the poor and the sick. The outward and
inward sufferings of others — these are our fields of
labour ! "
The members of the Order wondered from whence Sister
Augustine derived strength to perform the work of love
and joy in her calling, considering the little weight she
laid on the mere external forms of religion ; for even at
Nancy and^Treves her pre-eminent abilities and fitness
for her position were readily acknowledged. She wrote
somewhat humorously to an old friend of her father's :
"Yesterday I went to Coblenz, to meet the strict Mistress
of the novices. She was very condescending, and said that,
after all, the Bonn hospital was perhaps not so godless a
place as it was generally believed to be."
Although Sister Augustine kept the real source of her
inward religious life carefully hidden, so as to prevent its
being encroached upon, yet the confidence she inspired by
her truly Christian views was so great, that even within
her own Order she was always applied to in all cases of
need and perplexity. Many of her fellow-Sisters, who
were at peace neither with the Order, the world, nor, worst
of all, with their own consciences, sought and found comfort
with her. The true source of her religious life, from
whence she derived all her strength, was her belief in a
personal Saviour- — a belief which so possessed her, that it
became the leading motive in all her actions. That true
Christianity which sees in every poor and needy one the

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 117
representative of Him who said, " Inasmuch as ye. have
done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have
done it unto Me," was exemplified in her. It was in this
spirit that she wrote to a sick-nurse : " Ever look upon
your patient as you would look upon Him, who, I trust,
may be your portion throughout eternity."
Her clear, practical mind was as far from straying into
religious subtleties and cavillings, as from submitting to the
deadening influence of outward forms and self-sufficient
trust in good works. The latter were so particularly dis
tasteful to her, that she never spoke of her own labours
and exertions, and would not allow "good works" to
be looked upon as a sort of life-insurance for the soul.
She wrote to an old friend on this subject : " Perhaps
you may smile at the childishness of these lines, or
even reproach me for them ; still I cannot bear the
thought of having let you go yesterday without having
expressed myself clearly. My heart is quite heavy, for I
feel that by my behaviour I risked losing your friendship.
I must tell you that long ago I made a rule of never,
except in cases of urgent necessity, parading before the
eyes of others the so-called good works which form a part
of my calling. In particular cases, I am sorry to say, I
have often proved unfaithful to this principle, but rarely
so completely as yesterday. That is why your kind words
of praise struck me to the heart, showing me what a vain
and paltry display I had been making before you."
For the same reason, she had no great liking for poems,
such as those of Louise Hensel, " which talked too much,"
as she expressed it, " of crowns and rewards." The image
of the Redeemer, as portrayed on every page of the New

Il8 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Testament, was her firm support, and the standard by which
she judged herself and others. She never wearied of
seeking for, and rejoicing over, traces of that image.
From her diary we take the following : " The position
and circumstances in which I am placed often deprive me
of the privilege of being directly and openly found fault
with ; but God knows that this is not good for me, and
that it pains me, and He does not fail to make me aware
of it. Yesterday a friend, whose position obliges her to
mix with very frivolous society, gave me, in a few words,
so deep a view of her soul, that the impression left on
my own was very humiliating. My conscience could but
say, ' See, this soul, bereft of many means of grace and in
the midst of the gay world, has, by purely personal com
munion with the Redeemer, succeeded in attaining to a
greater measure of ennobling strength than thou hast, in
these many years of quiet convent life. Thou hast been
content to follow the broad-beaten paths of so-called con
vent virtues ; but she has had to break a way through the
cruel thorny waste of the world, and her moral and re
ligious strength has brought her nearer to heaven than
thou art.' Many such indirect sermons do I get, but,
alas ! there is often wanting in me the willing heart, and
the ear ready to listen, and still more profitably to apply ;
otherwise I had not remained so far behind ! "
Again : " In the poor little patient here, I have a con
firmation of the experience I have so often made, that it
is much easier for those who are still in youth's first fresh
ness, to make the sacrifice of life, than for those who have
experienced its bitterness and encountered its storms. I
think the true and deep reason for this to be, that the

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 1-19
spirit of a child has such faith and strong trust in a
brighter Beyond, that leave-taking from the visible world
is easier for it than it is for him who, in the confusion and
disappointment of life, has lost the freshness and fulness
of his strength. A child can look innocently and even
joyfully on the approach of death, as only a going home,
without any cause for fear and shrinking. If I wish to
rejoice in so great a blessing, I must never let go a trust
at once innocent and firm in a future Home beyond this
world, and so remain ever childlike. How happy my
little world of childhood makes me here ! From the angel
purity of its innocent heart I can learn much, and can
find treasures of richer knowledge than is to be got from
all the wisdom of books."
Sister Augustine's sincere attachment to her own
Church and her tolerance for all other creeds, were based on
a deep religious feeling. She most gladly acknowledged
all that was noble and great wherever she found it
She often confessed that she had found more true
Christianity among Protestants than among Catholics. As
almost all the Protestants with whom she came into
contact were men of the' highest excellence, it was only
natural that she should sometimes overrate Protestan
tism, and transfer the admiration and respect she felt
for them to the creed which they professed, attributing to
it, perhaps in too great a degree, their moral and spiritual
worth. She considered the personal belief in the Redeemer, so
strongly insisted upon in Protestantism, to be the source
of all spiritual life ; and yet, whilst acknowledging that
its stimulating power lay in " a personal search and per-

120 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
sonal struggle," she considered this again to be the weak
and unsatisfactory side of Protestantism.
She loved the deep religious experience which she met
with in Protestant life and literature (she was especially
fond of some of the Protestant Church hymns, which she ¦
knew by heart, and which she was in the habit of repeating
as prayers during the celebration of the Mass) ; but the
vagueness of Protestantism and the uncertainty of its
outward form, together with its departure from the history
and tradition of previous centuries, seemed to her a want
for which the truest and most upright piety of its individual
adherents could never atone. She once said, " When I
speak of liking Protestantism, I do not mean the pro
testing and negative, but rather the positive element which
it has." Accordingly, she preferred the Old Lutheran form
of Protestantism, with which she had become acquainted
through friends in Bonn, and more especially in Schleswig-
Holstein, to all others.
Sister Augustine loved her own Church with all her
heart, and from her childhood she had ever looked upon it
with pride. The great and simple doctrines of Catholicism
were engraven on her soul. Redemption through Christ,
and the foundation of Christ's Church, to which He had
committed His teaching and His Sacraments, and with
which He had promised to be, even to the end of the
world — these were to her facts not to be overthrown, and
on them she built her faith.
It was her constant endeavour to regard all the par
ticular doctrines of her creed in living connection with the
fundamental truths of Christianity — salvation by the incar
nation of God's Son ; and her heart gave no response to

INNER LIFE AND RELATION TO THE ORDER. 121
anything she found at variance with this, or in contradic
tion to it. She had no sympathy with the numerous inno
vations unknown to the Church of the first century, and
she even expressed her suspicion with regard to them ;
she had, however, no objection to their being granted to
those who felt in need of them. She avoided disputes, as
far as she could, with those who held opinions dift'erent from
her own, as she found they were apt to end only in strife.
To a friend who wrote to her, saying that it was almost
impossible to defend a single article of faith against the
assaults of modern science, she replied, " I have often been
unable to repel many attacks of clever opponents on my
religious position ; I once found the reason of this ex
plained by Dollinger. ' Christianity,' he says, ' forms a
connected whole of teaching, commands, exhortations, and
historical facts, each dependent on, and explained by, the
other. Only a few can perceive this connection, and still
fewer, or perhaps even none, can keep it ever clearly
present before their minds. Opponents direct their assaults
only against isolated particulars, taken out of their proper
connection, and thus the attacks may easily seem stronger
and more plausible than the defence.' I have often said,
when thinking myself defeated, ' God knew very well how
difficult it would be for the poor heart of man to pre
serve, in every moment of life, unbroken trust in Him,
and that still it requires that faith for its own inward
peace. Therefore He sent us a personal, visible Redeemer,
to whom we can draw near, and in whom we can find
rest in every situation of life.' God can, indeed, some
times appear to us far off and unattainable, and to begin
there only where our knowledge ends."

122 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Sister Augustine was too much imbued with the idea
that the kingdom of Christ was not of this world, not to
consider much as immaterial and even as an abuse, which
many of her old friends — as, for example, her brother Ernst
— considered as the " sacred rights of the Church."
Her simple, grand conception of Christianity arose, not
only from her own straightforward character, which was
opposed to all mere appearances, or from her own former
experiences of life, but also from her intercourse with
people of different schools, which preserved her from all
narrowness of heart, and which, by mutual exchange of
thought, led her to greater clearness.

CHAPTER VIIL
FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS.
When Sister Augustine came to Bonn, she found several
families resident there who were old friends of her parents,
and who gave her a most hearty welcome ; foremost
among whom were the Mendelssohns and Boisser^es. She
had known Professor George Benjamin Mendelssohn from
her earliest years, and she greatly enjoyed the society of
her father's kind old friend. His kind-heartedness and
unselfishness were unequalled, and his close acquaintance
with many remarkable men of his day made intercourse
with him very interesting. Professor Mendelssohn himself
had a great liking for Sister Augustine, and she was the
medium for many of his acts of secret benevolence.
Although warmly admiring her activity as a Sister of
Charity, yet he never could understand why she had entered
an Order, and he always regarded her having done so as a
mistake, all the more to be regretted in so large-hearted
and excellent a person, and for which he could find no
other explanation than the breaking off of her engage
ment. In a letter to his friend Perthes, he says, " Our dear
Lady Superior gives, I am happy to say, a satisfactory
report of you, as not only being in good spirits yourself

124 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
but as having cheered Hilgers. She seems rather low-
spirited about herself, and it is somewhat sad to think that
this extraordinary woman, with all her practical talents and
her great activity, still has in a sense mistaken her calling,
which, in my opinion, is' more intensive than airtensive, as
probably is the case with most of the best women."
Alexander Mendelssohn, of Berlin, the professor's
younger brother, was also a great friend of Sister Augus
tine. They seldom met, but she always looked back
upon his visits with pleasure and gratitude. She used to
apply to him our Lord's words to Nathanael, adding, " A
man who carries Christianity into practice in such a manner,
cannot be far from Christ."
A year or two previous to her coming to Bonn, another
friend of her father's had settled there, Sulpice Boisseree.
Through him a new impulse was given to her interest
in the fine arts, and St. John's Hospital owed many a
work of art to Boisser^e's friendship for its Superior. He,
as well as his wife, often visited Sister Augustine, and
both of them considered the rare occasions on which she
could return these visits as high festivals. However, her
intercourse with that excellent man proved to be of short
duration. He had been in delicate health for some
years, and in the spring of 1854 he became dangerously
ill. She saw him for the last time a few days before
his death, and found him, to use his own words to his
physician, "a grateful, dying man." After this visit she
wrote in her diary with deep emotion : " We shall see
Him as He is ! We shall see Him face to face ! Thus
Scripture describes a portion of that blessedness which is
to be our share above. In this life, too, our happiness

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 125
depends chiefly on our seeing those face to face whom we
love. This, no doubt, explains the deep sorrow which I
experienced yesterday, on visiting my excellent friend
Boisseree, knowing that death will- soon remove him from
us. Though my heart is resigned to the will of God, and
thus enabled to return to His hands the treasure which
He permitted me to find on my path, yet I cannot refrain
from weeping over the approaching parting."
Soon after, on May 22, Boisseree died. " To-day my
dear friend Boisseree has entered into his rest," she wrote.
" I feel the parting from him too deeply to be able to
speak about it." Next day she adds : " The fetters are
broken, and his immortal spirit inhabits those realms into
which I am able to follow it by means of prayer and the
Holy Sacrament. No painful separation can destroy this
spiritual communion in the future, and the knowledge of
this is my comfort for the present"
After his death she continued on terms of the greatest
intimacy with his widow. She felt herself more and more
attracted by the healthy tone of mind and the vigorous
intellect of this excellent woman. Both their characters
had great resemblance to each other; there was the same
clearness of thought and energy of will, the same perfect
frankness in giving expression to their sympathies and
antipathies. This latter peculiarity was most strongly
developed in Frau Boisseree. Whoever once gained her
affection, possessed it wholly for ever, whilst she unre
servedly gave utterance to her dislike of others in the
strongest expressions of her Siiabian dialect. She had an
intense aversion to would-be sanctimonious phrases, or to
the slightest touch of pietism, and with regard to this she

126 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
could be somewhat rude in her treatment of very excellent
persons. She was a sincere Protestant herself, yet she
not only kept the peace with her husband's Catholic friends,
but had a strong friendship for many of them. She had
a great respect for Sailer, and she liked to tell how, when
he came to see her at Munich, she would kneel down
among her Catholic maid-servants, to receive his blessing.
In earlier years, one of her greatest desires had been the
re-union of the Christian confessions, and she had indulged
in many illusions with regard to this. She accordingly
was deeply struck when, on talking over this favourite
idea one day with Ernst Lasaulx, he remarked, earnestly,
"Do not for a moment think that such a thing would
be fortunate ! Look at France, Spain, and Italy, or at
any country where there is " but one confession, and see
the bad condition of religion there ! Conflict is necessary
for a healthy life." After this she contented herself with
peace and unity existing between the dififerent creeds,
without desiring that the barriers between them should
be overstepped, except in the spirit of mutual love.
" We very often speak of our good Boisserdes," Sister
Augustine wrote to her old friend, "though deep sadness
mingles in our conversation, making us feel all the more
the loss of our dear friend. How I should enjoy nursing
and comforting you, if I had you near me just now ; but,
as it is, I can be with you both in prayer only, and when
I go to the little chapel in the churchyard. Perhaps I may.
go there again in a day or two, and then I shall see the
beautiful windows presented by your dear husband, and
which have just been placed there."
On Frau Boisseree's birthday she writes: "The 14th

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 1 27
of October has given me a dear, kind friend, and taken my
precious father from me ; thus this day brings me both
joy and sadness, and lifts up my heart in prayer."
She had a great admiration for the patience with
which her friend bore her physical sufferings during a
long illness. During the last years of her life she was
confined to her room by paralysis, so that she had the
greatest difficulty in moving. Such a condition of health
was a great trial of patience to her, as she had all her life
been accustomed to move about in society, and to travel a
great deal. It was touching to witness how grateful she
was to the friends who came to see her in her solitude,
and -who, by the news they brought her, kept up her
connection with the outer world.
Sister Augustine deeply regretted that her calling so
seldom permitted her to visit her old friend — many a
year passed without her being able to do so. Almost in
every letter to Frau Boisseree on her name-day (which,
to please her Catholic friends, she always celebrated), she
says that her " large household tied her down so much, that
even St. Mathilde could not unloose her fetters."
Again she wrote : " All the festivals in which I should
like to take part, come and go and leave me sitting at
home, with a cough and breathlessness as my only com
panions. I am sure to fail in this trial of patience, whilst
you put me to shame by your steadfast continuance in
Christian resignation."
Through Frau Boisseree and Professor Mendelssohn,
she became acquainted with Professor Perthes, the mutual
friend of both. This was, however, not his first intro
duction to Sister Augustine, for he had known her in her

128 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
own home, when he held a Government appointment at
Coblenz. When she came to Bonn as a Sister of
Charity, he was little inclined to continue the acquaint
ance. At last he went to see her, on the persuasion
of his friends, particularly of Frau Boisseree, who kept
telling him that " Sister Augustine was quite different
from all other Sisters of Charity." This first half-reluctant
visit was the precursor of many others, and he afterwards
formed a warm friendship with her. She placed great
confidence in his clear judgment and his thoroughly
Christian views.
Perthes was entirely convinced that real moral great
ness and truly noble work can spring from no other soil
than positive Christianity, and he expressed himself in
strong terms against those who "fancy they may pluck
those fruits of Christianity which please their own taste,
and yet despise the root from whence they all spring."
Nitzsch, whom of all Protestant theologians he re
spected most highly, had a great influence on Perthes'
religious views. A staunch Protestant himself, he never
theless had a deep and impartial appreciation of the
doctrines and ceremonies of the Catholic Church. He was
a great friend of Hilger's. " We both know," he remarked,
" that our views are widely different. Formerly we used
to argue about them ; now we have given up that, and
rejoice over what we have in common." Another time he
said, " There are few men whom I should so much like to
have near me on my death-bed as Professor Hilgers."
He, too, desired the re-union of all Christian confessions
in one creed ; but he had top deep an insight into ecclesi
astical affairs, not to be convinced of the impossibility o.

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 129
such an union ever taking place in our day. Soon after 1848,
several Catholic men of learning attempted to bring about
negotiations for union, and Professor Friedrich Michelis, of
Miinster, invited Perthes to join them. He, however, most
decidedly refused, partly because he had no confidence in
the scheme, and partly from his mistaking that gentleman
for his brother, Edward Michelis, the former chaplain of
Clemens Augustus. As Perthes had foreseen, these nego
tiations, which took place at Erfurt, failed ; not only in
consequence of the exaggerated demands of the Catholic
men of letters, but also of the difference of opinion and
want of authority within the Protestant Church, where
each divine individually brought forward his own personal
views. In respect to ecclesiastical affairs, Perthes on one occa
sion wrote : " I have a constantly increasing abhorrence of
quarrels and disputes on these and other subjects, and by
the way in which such squabbles are carried on nowadays,
bofh by the tongue and the pen, there will be, I should
say, little profit to any one."
He hoped rather on the peaceful union of both con
fessions in practical life, and on each taking a lesson from
the good belonging to the other, than on useless discussions.
Among other things, he considered one of the advantages
of the Catholic Church to consist in her greater appre
ciation of and entering into the wants and p,eculiarities
of the people* and also in her pervading every-day life with
religious ideas and customs, uniting the people by count
less ties to its faith and clergy, and giving the Catholic
Church an influence unparalleled throughout the world.
He greatly regretted that this was not the case within
K

I30 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
the Protestant Church, and his essentially practical nature
prompted him to supply that want. It was he who first
originated the idea of providing Homes for travelling
journeymen, in which they could find not only food and
shelter, but also the moral support of Christian influence.
Similar institutions of the Catholic Church had served him
as models. He was filled with an intense compassion for
the ever-increasing degeneration of the lower classes, and he
insisted on every one doing his utmost to counteract it
His views on this subject were decisive for Sister
Augustine. When she was first made Superior of the
hospital, she had very little hesitation in dismissing ser
vants because of their want of capability and trustworthi
ness. By the earnest persuasions of her friend Perthes,
however, she gradually came to consider the spiritual welfare
of her servants first, and to regard their capabilities as only
of secondary importance, and the responsibility she felt
with regard to them often induced her to keep them on for
years, when she otherwise would have dismissed them long
ago. Many a poor neglected creature, whom Professor
Perthes wished to see particularly cared for, he brought to
the Superior. Sister Gertrude had no great opinion ol
" the professor's pets," as she termed these poor people ;
most likely in consequence of their claiming particular
attentions on the part of all in the hospital, through being
the professor's proteges.
Besides his interest in all works of Christian charity,
Perthes was led to frequent all the hospitals from another
inclination. The problem of death, the dissolving of all
human existence, was a question which occupied him all
his life, and which led him to the death-beds of his friends.

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I3I
as well as to those of the poor. " What a wonderful thing
death is ! " he often used to repeat ; and when he saw
any one die in peace and in the perfect confidence of
faith, he was filled with such joy that, for a time, all his
own fear of death vanished.
In one of his letters he gives his own experience in
hospitals : " Sick-beds and death-beds have many lessons
to teach.him who approaches them in order to administer
bodily and spiritual comfort No one can give that which
he has never himself possessed, and does not possess in
the hour when he would fain bestow it If there be a
fountain of living water in his own heart, the smallest
rill is able to make the most barren land fruitful with
flowers and foliage, as when the rains descend on the
hard soil of Africa. The most earnest attempts, how
ever, to bring a man at the point of death to a conviction
of sin, to repentance, to a desire for reconciliation, and
to faith in the Redeemer, seldom have beneficial results.
The words pass over without sinking into the heart ; they
often, indeed, provoke opposition. The best way for any
one who wishes to help, and yet has no power to do so,
is simply to read aloud passages out of ^he Psalms or New
Testament." For some years Perthes came several times ^laily to
St. John's Hospital to see his sick friend, Dronke, and
he seldom left without looking in upon the Superior.
He was very fond, too, of bringing strangers to see her :
" You must make the acquaintance of the Lady Superior ;
she is a very remarkable woman."
Although their friendship was based on deep Christian
sympathies, yet their intercourse was not without its gay

13.2 s'lSTER AUGUSTINE.
side, and this latter was almost alone visible to others.
There was a continual succession of quizzing, joking, and
laughing. The strangers who accompanied the professor
often listened in speechless astonishment to such conversa
tion, and wondered whether this indeed could be "the
Lady Superior of the hospital," in whom they had ex
pected to find the grave, solemn nun. Sister Augustine
had not one friend with whom she enjoyed a joke so much
as with Professor Perthes.
Their intercourse was, however, not one of uninter
rupted peace. Collisions were unavoidable in characters
which were in many respects so similar, but their friendship
remained unbroken, based, as it was, on habitual respect
and confidence. On one occasion, when she expressed,
with more frankness than politeness, her disapproval of
something he had done, and insisted on his retracting
what he had said, he replied, " I never thought you would
oppose me with so much severity, but now I respect you
doubly for it."
" Perthes is by no means pleasant, but you can always
rely upon him ; he is as true and genuine as gold " — such
was another remark of the Superior concerning her friend.
By " pleasantness '' she meant that native gentleness and
flexibility of character, which smoothes down all difficulties,
and rather gives way and retires, than firmly and de
terminedly opposes what is wrong.
Sonie light is thrown on this judgment which the
Superior formed of him by the words which a near re
lation of his used in aptly describing the distinctive traits
of his character : " In proportion as his nature was
strong and great, so by reason of its greatness he retained

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I33
within him much of the natural man. I have many a
time been perplexed to understand how so much stiff
ness and even harshness, so much exclusiveness and one-
sidedness, so much worldly wisdom and party spirit, could
co-exist with faith. Yet faith, proving itself victorious
opened up the way for love, gentleness, resignation, kind
ness, and benevolence towards all men, and, ever united
with a holy anger against the sin and foolishness of the
world, obtained the mastery. I have, thank God, known
many a genuine Christian, of whom it could be affirmed
that the struggle of faith with the natural man was an easier
one than it was to Perthes ; but I venture to say that in no
one has the struggle and the victory been so apparent, and
hence it is that I know no one who, by his individuality,
preached Christianity all his life so well as Perthes."
Sister Augustine often discussed with him the ecclesi
astical and political questions of the day, and the views
he expressed had much weight with her. Her decided
preference for Prussia, for instance, at a time when most of
her friends of long standing, and even her brother Ernst,
cherished a blind love for Austria, she owed to Perthes,
who was enthusiastically attached to the house of Hohen-
zollern. She read his works with great interest, and
especially prized his life of his father, "Good biogra
phies can make up for much that is wanting in actual in
tercourse," she said, referring to the "Life of Frederick
Perthes " (" Friedrich Perthes' Leben "). She did not quite
agree with her friend's book on the " Political Characters
and the State of Politics during the Foreign Rule"
(" Politische Personen und Zustande zur Zeit det Fremherr-
schaft "), and she remarked at one time, " Perthes on every

134 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
occasion over-estimates the Catholics. I have told him that
often enough, but he will never believe me. Had he but
asked my advice, old Gorres would not have com.e off half
so well." Although in his sympathies Perthes was much more
closely related to Sister Augustine than either Mendelssohn
or Boisseree, she seldom or;iever revealed to him her
inmost thoughts. With all her frankness in other things,
she was very reserved in everything that related to her
self, and her nine years of convent life, before her appoint
ment to Bonn, had only tended to make her more so. The
short letters which she now and then -wrote to Perthes have
almost all reference to unimportant matters.
It was some time before Sister Augustine found a
friend at Bonn to whom she was unreservedly open, and
to whose judgment for ten years she submitted uncon
ditionally, in a manner hardly to be expected from a
character so independent and energetic. This was Pro
fessor Bernhard Joseph Hilgers, who had spent the first
years after his ordination as chaplain of the asylum at
Siegburg. The years he spent there had exercised "a deep
influence on his ecclesiastical views. He had formed an
intimate friendship with Jacobi, the director of the in
stitution; and it was from him, and more especially from
his excellent wife, Anna Claudius, the daughter of the
"Wandsbecker Bote," that he obtained clearer views on
the real nature of positive Protestant Christianity, than was
generally prevalent among the Catholic clergy of that time.
Hilgers himself attached great importance to the ex
perience he then gained, and once remarked that at that
time " the scales fell from his eyes."

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I35
Since 1835 he had resided in Bonn as Assistant Pro
fessor of Catholic Theology, combining with that office that
of pastor of the " Minoritenkirche." Like the majority of
his colleagues at that time, he was a disciple of Hermes;
and the persecution which was directed against him, in
common with all the Hermesians, deprived Hilgers thus
early of all joy in his profession. Naturally predisposed
towards melancholy, and often in much physical suffering,
he was never able to get over the eff"ects of those painful
experiences, and life now presented to him its most serious
and dark side. His character was reserved, strict, and
thoroughly noble ; " a pious Christian, a good Catholic,
a warm Prussian, a first-rate man of business, cautious,
gentle, and firm" — such is the description which Perthes
gave of him in 1865.
Shortly after the hospital chapel was opened, he under
took the Sunday services in it, where his sermons, by
the clearness of their style and their simple, yet grand,
method of treatment, had a wonderful attraction for many.
To hear him was to feel that the whole personality of the
preacher was a pledge for the truths of his assertions,
and that every word he said was the result of his own
experience. Though intimately acquainted with Perthes, Boisseree,
and Mendelssohn, each great friends of Sister Augustine,
Hilgers never came into personal contact with her during
the first years of his active duty in the hospital. Tbe
ardent desire soon arose in her, however, to become more
intimately acquainted with this excellent man, in whom
she seemed to find the reaUzation of that ideal of Chris
tianity ever present to her, arid which she had sought for

13^ SISTER AUGUSTINE.
in vain in the Order to which she belonged. For more
than three years she cherished the wish in silence, pre
vented from expressing it, as she tells us, "by the im
pression that the bitterest experience of life had made this
deep, rich mind for ever unapproachable from without."
At Boisseree's death-bed she at last became more inti
mately acquainted with Hilgers, and then a sincere and
life-long friendship began between them.
She once wrote of this friendship : " What an un
speakable gift of God's grace it is to both of us, my
thanksgivings prove. How hurtful isolation has been to
my soul can be testified by many an hour of pain, which
has made me in no way fitter for my eternal home. I
thank God with all my heart for having given me a friend
who can understand my greatest joys and my deepest
sorrows, and can share them faithfully with me."
Again she writes : " Pure, true friendship and confidence
have filled my soul with their blessings. Ought I not
gratefully to kneel at the feet of Him who has sent this
light to illumine my darkness ? Truly, O Lord, I shall
never cease to thank Thee ! "
In the hardest and darkest hour of her convent life,
Sister Augustine found a firm support in this old friend.
In one of her letters she says, "What comfort do I find in
beholding the deep riches of a mind which contains such
unspeakable treasures!" And to Hilgers himself she
wrote : " I never can thank God enough fbr sending you
to me, as my faithful friend and teacher, and the greatest
benefactor of my soul."
Hilgers also greatly benefited from his intercourse with
the Superior. She was ever ready to enter heartily into

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 137
all his interests, to sympathize with him and encourage him
in the sorrows which arose from his own peculiar character
and constitution, as well as from the attacks of his enemies.
She was indefatigable in trying to draw him out of the
gloomy moods which sometimes oppressed him, and which
she termed "the complaints of his childlike mind;" and
in the most tender manner she took advantage of every
opportunity to give a cheerful direction to his graver
thoughts. We find her writing to him : " As this damp
weather does not permit of your going to the beautiful
Kreuzberg, dear Professor, I send you a book to make up
for the privation. It contains ' The Death of a Village
Pastor ' (' Tod eines Dorf kaplaus '). You must read it in
order to become acquainted with the depths of a mind
whose beauty gives such refreshment to the spiritual eye
as a delightful walk does to the body."
When, some years after. Sister .Augustine's health
began to fail and she found difficulty in getting through
her day's work, Hilgers was often deeply distressed at
the thought of the possibility of her death ; but, how
ever ill she felt, she always tried by every means
to drive away her old friend's anxiety. Thus, after a
long and serious illness, she wrote : " Pardon me, my dear
Professor, for disturbing your short moments of repose by
my complaints ; but, remember, I was not allowed to visit
the Child Jesus in His manger, and the Magi passed my
door and went their way. The doctor treats me with un
merciful severity, as if he were a Russian minister of State.
I sit here like a prisoner darning or knitting stockings,
to cool his ardour. My last bit of patience has silently
expired, and my courage has sunk to such a depth, that

138 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
it hides Hke a mole, so that the bright sunlight may not
mock it. You, my dear friend, are in great part to blame
for my miserable condition ; you have made the doctor
deaf to all my entreaties, so it is time that you too
should loosen my bonds. I hope this affecting descrip
tion will touch your heart, and bring help to your poor
prisoner." Wben Hilgers was away from home, she followed
him in her thoughts, and she often gave expression to
them in words of kindness. In one of her letters she says
" Your long silence has caused us no small anxiety, which
your letter of yesterday at last put an end to. We are
thankful to hear you are well. During the days of wind
and rain, I thought with anxiety and pity of your being
amid those severely beautiful Eifel hills ; but now that the
warm sunlight is penetrating even to the deepest valleys, I
am rather envying you the quiet, peaceful solitude sur
rounding you on your native soil. My daily prayer is that
you may return in good health and spirits."
An old Coblenz acquaintance, a clergyman, who had
called on Sister Augustine, thought her friendship for the
scholar of Hermes so alarming a matter, that he imparted
his scruples to her relations. Her aunt, Frau Longard,
immediately went to Bonn, in great anxiety, in order to
become acquainted with the dangerous man, and then to
warn her niece. However, the earnest and truly pious
impression which Hilgers made on her so won her re
spect, that she returned home with her anxieties entirely
allayed. Sister Augustine's most intimate acquaintances among
the Catholic clergy of Bonn were Professor Knoodt, an old

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 1 39
friend of her family, and Pastor* Reinkens ; whilst Joseph,!
the younger brother of the latter, then Professor of Theology
at Breslau, called on her from time to time, when on a
holiday tour.
She stood on a footing of friendship with the Pro
testant clergy of Bonn, who in the exercise of their duty
were sometimes called to the Catholic hospital. They
seldom left the house without looking in upon her, and
the old Pastor Wichelhaus was very fond of a talk with
the " Miitterchen," as he called her. " The Superior had
once been ill," he tells us in his highly entertaining
sketches of his intercourse with her, " and when I saw
her after her recovery, I said (you must know we never
gave each other any titles ; she did not wish to call me
' Herr Pastor,' nor did I call her ' Directoress, Superior,
Sister '), ' How sorry I should have been had you died !
— yes, it would have been a great pity ! ' ' Oh, non
sense ! ' she answered; 'a nun is' just hke a pane in a
church window ; if it breaks, it is replaced by another.'
' Miitterchen,' replied I, in order to make her feel the
superiority of my age and experience, ' you have not come
that length yet, however fervently you may, by the aid
of your Church, strive after self-sacrifice, obedience, and
devotion to the Saviour.' " He attached much importance
to the good understanding which existed between them,
and to their common work among the sick. "I am an
old Calvinist, and you are nuns, and together we have
brought this soul to light and peace ! " he once exclaimed
* The lii'ca pastor is employed in Germany for the Catholic as well as the
Protestant clergymen.
t The present bishop of the Old Catholics.

I40 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
by the death-bed of a man, who, after a long and ungodly
life, had, nevertheless, died in the hospital calmly and
trustfully as a Christian.
Among the families resident in Bonn, perhaps Sister
Augustine's most intimate relations were with the daughters
of Simrock, the music publisher, who had associated a
good deal with her ever since she had been resident there.
She also stood on terms of intimacy with the family of
Dr. Velten, the hospital physician.
For a short period she had the pleasure of frequently
seeing Carl Cornelius, the friend of her youth, who lectured
at the Bonn University from 1855-58. When he was
called to Munich, he and his wife, Elizabeth Simrock, kept
up their intercourse with her by letters, as well as by
repeated visits during the vacations.
Among members of princely houses, Marie, Princess of
Wied, was peculiarly attracted towards Sister Augustine.
Her Highness stood on a footing of intimate friendship
with the Superior, often seeing her during her repeated
visits to Bonn. Sometimes, too, she would see the aged
Queen Marie Amalie of France, widow of Louis Philippe.
Whenever she passed through Bonn, Her Majesty always
sent for Sister Augustine, who ever cherished the truest
respect for the unhappy princess. In June, 1861, the
Prince of Coburg, Queen Marie Amalie's grandson, visited
her, to bring her a message from the Queen, who was then
eighty-four years old, together with her picture, with some
words written on it by her own hand.
Living in a town which lies on one of the great conti
nental highways. Sister Augustine had many opportunities
of seeing both her relations and friends in her hospital.

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I41
All were glad to see her again, for however short a time
it might be. She welcomed her friends not only heartily,
but so warmly, that each visitor believed he conferred on
her a particular pleasure.
Her most intimate friends usually visited her in the
dispensary, where, undisturbed by their presence, she
worked on, compounding her pills and mixing her drugs.
Besides those best friends whom she was always glad to
see, there came many others, both from Bonn itself and
from a distance — sometimes to get her advice, and some
times only to see the hospital and become acquainted with
its Superior ; and these last drew many a sigh from her.
She never showed any impatience, however, no matter what
the occupation might be in which she was interrupted, and
it was very seldom that she thus complained : " M  has
just been here, and sat with me a weary hour, telling me
about La Salette ; I am still sick from the effects of it"
Another time she told a friend, with almost comic despair :
" Fancy, the whole family  sat with me a couple o.
hours ! Good-hearted people, every one more stupid than
the other ; their very eyes stare stupidly, and they thought
they were doing me an honour."
To Hilgers she writes : " Strange ! the more I wish to
be alone the more people come to see me. Yesterday I
had B. von D  ; to-day Professor Knoodt, and the whole
families of Weckbecker and Reichensperger. Isn't it
dreadful? To-day the three gentlemen from the Minorites
are coming, one of whom is to take your place on Sunday ;
and I, poor wretch ! must be glad and thankful for the
substitute, for I might have had a worse one." Of another
visit she says, " I was lying ill in bed one day, when I

142 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
heard voices outside my room ; the door flies open, and
in rushes a strange creature, who falls on my neck, and
before I can regain my breath to ask who does me the
honour, takes hold of me by the head and covers me
with kisses. ' I am Bettina,* Clemens' sister,' she said,
'and I always kiss the Sisters of Mercy at Berlin, though
some of them are very ugly, and so I must give you a
kiss too, although I have only seen you for the first time
to-day ! ' In this way she went on speaking for half an
hour without stopping, and before I could rightly collect
my senses, she was offi ' So that is the celebrated Bet
tina ! ' said I, as the apparition disappeared.''
Although Sister Augustine was vastly superior in in
tellect to many of her visitors, it showing itself in her
being able to accommodate herself to the circumstances
of every one, yet, far from paining, it had rather the eff'ect
of rousing and enlivening. She never thrust her own views
and opinions upon others, however strong and decided
they might be; she rather preferred to allow others to
show their peculiarities. She possessed, as few do, the
power of gleaning what is best and truest from every
character. This was the secret of her amiability ; the
sunshine of her own person had an enlivening and warming
influence on others, so that, unconsciously to themselves,
they showed the bright side of their character, and left her
with the agreeable feeling, which perhaps they could not
quite account for, of "having made themselves pleasant"
Sister Augustine could not be called brilliant, still less
was she learned, but many persons who possessed these
• Bettina von Armin, sister of Clemens Brentano, the well-known friend of
Goethe.

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I43
qualities in a high degree sought her friendship and valued
her advice.
She was so perfect a mistress of the art of listening,
that her friends would sometimes say, "The Lady Superior
has been really most interesting and entertaining to-day,"
when in fact she herself had hardly uttered a single
word. She could take so great an interest in all that
was told her, and listen with such warm sympathy, that
no one ever noticed a sign of weariness or impatience in
her. And she was expected to take an interest in every
thing — family events, universal history, Indian mythology
and cookery recipes, stories of times past and present,
Italian poetry and Church history.
She often gave up the little spare time at her disposal,
to please her friends by reading books with which they had
been charmed, and which they hoped would fascinate her
also. In this way she became acquainted with Dante's
" Divina Commedia " and Neander's " Church History," and
although she had not sufficient time to master them
wholly, she became thoroughly acquainted with parts of
them. " Are you reading this .' " said a Protestant pastor,
who accidentally found the last-named book in her room.
On her answering in the affirmative, he replied, " I must
give you a special shake of the hand for that. I knew the
author ; he had the soul of a St. John ! "
She sometimes idealized her friends, and fancied
she discovered qualities in them which they never laid
any pretensions to possess. The Lasaulx imagination,
strong in her, as in most of her family, often led her
astray ; still, on the whole, she saw clearly the weaknesses
of her friends, and could aptly describe, in the some-

144 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
what original Coblenz dialect, the character of each. She
seldom found fault in words, but a grave displeased look
from her had often more efifect than much that was said
by others. In small matters she had her own way of
expressing her dissatisfaction to her friends, which they
could not easily forget. A rather weak poetic effusion
had once been submitted to her judgment. For some time
she never spoke of it, and the author thought that the
production, for which he had expected much praise, was
forgotten. One day, however. Sister Augustine was asked
in this author's presence what she thought the severest
kind of criticism. " Complete silence certainly should be
the most humiliating," she promptly replied, and, rising,
took the manuscript from her writing-desk, giving it to its
owner with no remark, but with a most suggestive smile.
"We Lasaulxs,'' she once wrote to Frau von Driififel,
" have a funny liking for telling people the honest truth ;
perhaps it is our only good quality." One of her peculiar
characteristics was an unconquerable disinclination to clear
up by a single word any misunderstanding, great or
small, which might have arisen between herself and her
friends. An acquaintance once asked her advice in a
very important matter, but, misunderstanding her, acted in
direct opposition to the advice given, though all the time
in the happy confidence that she was carrying out the
Superior's wishes. Some time afterwards Sister Augustine
happened to express to a friend her disapproval of what
had been done. On being asked, " Why, then, did you not
say that such were not your instructions .'' " she replied,
somewhat astonished, " Why should I .' People who do
not understand you are better left alone."

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 145
Sister Augustine looked on the confidence and friend
ship of so many excellent people as an inheritance, for
which she was all the more thankful as she understood and
appreciated its value. "As to the thanks you have ex
pressed, I really do not know on which side the debt
lies," she wrote to the wife of one of her patients. "A
great boon is conferred on my little life whenever I am
allowed, by means of intercourse with others, to become
acquainted with intellectual and really amiable people.
As unfortunately I am not easily satisfied in this respect,
I know doubly how to value any addition to the narrow
circle of my intimate friends, in which such painful gaps
have repeatedly been made by the hand of death ; this,
then, is a benefit for which I must express my sincere
gratitude to yourself and your husband."
Such painful losses as those referred to took place
among her nearest relatives, during the first ten years of
her residence in Bonn. After the death of her father,
her mother had continued to live alone in the old
home, for her daughter Clementine had, in 1850, likewise
entered the convent at Luxemburg. What could have
induced her to take such a step in her thirtieth year
remains unexplained. Courted and admired in her youth,
she was by no means indififerent to such homage, and
at the same time she was little inclined to sacrifice any
personal comfort for the sake of making herself useful
at home ; yet, for all that, she was anxious to choose a
vocation requiring the severest self-denial in doing the
poorest and humblest service. She was much too honest
to utter a falsehood willingly and consciously, but her
passionate natyre and her lively imagination sometimes L

146 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
prevented her seeing and expressing facts in their true
light. Her character was a strange compound of cap
tivating gentleness and forbidding vehemence, of humility
and pride, of selfishness and devoted energetic love.
Her outward appearance even partook of these contrasts.
She respected little the prevailing fashions of the day,
though she paid great attention to her general appear
ance ; she had a peculiarity in arranging her dress so as
to look different from other people, which gave her the
appearance of a lady of the mediaeval days, and yet her
dresses were never either eccentric or gaudy.
Opinions regarding her were as varied as her character
was many-sided. Her many and faithful friends spoke of
her as charming and amiable, a perfect angel, a saint ; one
of them. Bishop Laurent, describes her as the most intel
lectual, noble, gentle-hearted woman he had ever met
Her own brothers and sisters, and all her relations,
however, judged her very differently. No one, though,
could be indifferent to her ; from the first every one
felt either fascinated or repelled, and either impression
usually remained unchanged. In the family circle the
opinion was that Anna, the elder of the three sisters, was
entirely suited to convent life, that Sister Augustine might
eventually become so, but that Clementine was totally
unfitted for it, and many doubts and anxieties were felt
about her when she left home. Not long after Clemen
tine had taken the veil. Sister Augustine wrote to Frau
von Driififel : " According to my knowledge of Clemen
tine's character, I do not think she will ever be prevailed
upon to enter any other convent, far less to return into
the world. Clementine's heart and intellect will every-

FRIENDS IN BONN— FAMILY RELATIONS. I47
where have hard and' bitter struggles with herself. Her
passionate nature will only grant her few and short moments
of that undisturbed peace which so many a heart finds and
enjoys within the convent. Accordingly, I believe the best
thing will be to leave her entirely in God's hands, and
allow her to build her happiness there, where she may
choose, for herself."
After Clementine had left home, her brother Hermann
came to live with his mother ; and partly for this reason,
but still more owing to the peculiarities of his character,
which unsuited him for practical life, he remained without
any fixed occupation for many years. His mother vainly
wished that he would accept one or other of the appoint
ments ofifered him. " She herself," she said, " with her
natural tendency to reserve and her love for solitude,
would hardly feel the loneliness of her position." She
had a strong constitution, and her simple habits of life
made it appear likely that she would reach an advanced
age. Soon after, however, she caught cold, and, fever
supervening, she died after a few days' illness.
When Sister Augustine received the news of her mother's
illness, she decided to start at once to see her, and wrote
the following lines to Hilgers : — " Dearest friend ! In con
sequence of a letter from home, I must leave to-night, and
with a heavy heart, for I can hardly expect to find my
mother still alive. When you awake in the morning, I
shall have reached the spot where a painful loss awaits me.
Pray much and earnestly for your S. A."
Next day, October 6, 1855, her mother died, and
Sister Augustine, with her brothers and sisters, departed
mournfully from their beloved, but now utterly desolate

148 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
home. It was a great trial to her to see the old house pass
into strange hands ; " and yet," as she remarked to a friend,
" we should feel strangers in our own home, if all that was
best in it were wanting."
Six years after her mother's death. Sister Augustine
was still more deeply affected by the death of her brother
Ernst, to whom she had transferred all the love and
veneration she had felt for her father. After taking the
veil, she had only seen him occasionally, when, along with
his family, he paid short visits to the Rhine.
In 1852 Ernst von Lasaulx had visited Greece for the
second time, and had carried away with him the sad
impressions of the decay and desolation of that once
flourishing country. After this journey he began to write
the most important of his works. A deep undertone of
melancholy pervades them all : the rise, the glory, and
the fall of empires passed in manifold phases before his
mental vision, and the impression of the transitoriness of
all that is earthly, and, on the other hand, the belief in
the everlasting duration of all that is divine — in the final
victory of truth — is the keynote of all his writings. In
one of them he says, " When the destinies with which the
future threatens us are fulfilled, and the fatal hour comes
when Europe shall be the scene of the last great conflict of
nations, then there can be no doubt that final victory will
lie on that side where there is the greatest power of faith."
Sister Augustine read her brother's writings with deep
interest, enjoying at once the largeness of his views, and
the deep richness of his style.
In 1854 Lasaulx's "Fall of Hellenism, and the Appro
priation of the Temple Property by the Christian Em-

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. I49
perors " (" Untergang des Hellenismus und die Einzi'ehung
seiner Tempelgiiter durch die christlichen Kaiser"), ap
peared. In 1856, a "New Attempt at an Old Philosophy
of History, founded on True Facts " (" Neuer Versuch
einer alten auf die Wahrheit der Thatsachen gegriindeten
Philosophie der Geschichte "), of which book Wolfgang
Menzel says, ," Lasaulx feels that humanity is getting old,
' and that the decay of the whole race has commenced : it
is a funeral sermon over many a nation."
In 1857 he wrote "The Life, Doctrines, and Death of
Socrates " ("Leben, Lehre und Tod des Socrates"), in which
he, as it were, places the Grecian philosopher on a level
with the Old Testament prototypes of Christ He was
bitterly attacked for his views, and his predilection for
classical antiquity was looked upon as disregard for Chris
tianity, though, in point of fact, it was nothing but a
desire for Christian truth which prompted him to seek
the traces of the Redeemer in all nations and all ages.
His views were those of Clement of Alexandria (Strom. I.) :
"You never can err in attributing to Divine Providence
all that is true and beautiful, whether it be Grecian or
Christian ; for God is the Author of all that is beautiful
and true. Philosophy led the Greeks to Christ, as the
law did the Jews."
At the beginning of his treatise on Prometheus,
Lasaulx says, " Heathen mythology stands before us like
a mysterious vision of prehistoric humanity, — a prophetic
vision, the true interpretation of which was first given, in
the fulness of time, in Him who was greater than all the
prophets — in Christ — whose victorious voice broke the
spell of the old serpent, and who redeemed the unhappy

I50 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
human race from the slavery of sin and the law, bringing
it to the freedom of the children of God. It is the task
of Christian philosophy to prove how Christ's advent was
presaged throughout all ages ; how His coming was clearly
predicted in Judaism, guessed at and hoped for every
where in heathenism ; or, to speak objectively, how the
Desire of all nations has revealed Himself in heathendom
as in Judaism."
Perhaps Ernst von Lasaulx may sometimes have attri
buted more Christianity to mythology than it really con
tains, and what he rejoiced to find may, in fact, have been
something which he had himself brought into it Such
mistakes, however, did not so much arise from a want of
Christianity as from his lively Lasaulx imagination, and
his peculiarly artistic nature. He judged everything, even
scientific works, by the standard of art, and his own best
works are of essentially aesthetic importance.
" The Life, Doctrines, and Death of Socrates," as well as
several other of his writings, were put on the Index Ex
purgatorius at Rome, as being opposed to the doctrines
of the Catholic Church.
Sister Augustine was the more pained by this measure,
as she attributed it, justly or unjustly, to a friend of her
early years in Coblenz. It confirmed her in the opinion
that " hot-headed piety " had made progress in her native
town, and it estranged her all the more from it
The last of Ernst von Lasaulx's greater works, "The
Philosophy of the Fine Arts " (" Philosophie der Schonen
Kiinste"), appeared in i860; with reference to it he wrote,
under the presentiment of his approaching death, that he
felt " it was time to close this work, before his mind should

FRIENDS IN BONN— FAMILY RELATIONS. 151
have lost all the freshness of youth, and the days should
come when we can say we have no pleasure in them."
He died in 1861, of a heart complaint of many years*
standing. The loss of her beloved brother was a very
deep sorrow to Sister Augustine, and she long struggled
with one of those fits of gloom which sometimes hung
like a dark cloud over her bright spirit. She often spoke
of "our departed Ernst," of her "never-to-be-forgotten
brother," and she carefully preserved every little keepsake
she had received from him — flowers he had brought with
him from Palestine, an old page out of a school-book
representing his former place of abode in Wiirzburg, and
a very sweet little picture representing the adoration of
the shepherds.
A few months after her brother's death, she wrote to
Frau Cornelius, " Clementine is particularly distressed at
some of his books having been placed on the Index ; for my
own part, this so little concerns me, that it will in no wise
disturb my recollection of him. Would to God that all
men could face their Judge with as good a conscience as
he 1 . . I have always felt so closely united to him in
spirit, that I now find it very difficult to accustom myself to
the thought of his being so far removed from me. What
makes the separation more bearable is the knowledge that
spiritual communion does not cease now that he is gone.
It makes me sad to think how little he saw realized of
that which his rich hopes and laborious labours aimed at
in life. I do not yet know how my sisters bore the sad
news, but I should think that Clementine's passionate
heart will have a long struggle."
On the 23rd" of September she wrote to her brother's

152 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
daughter: "I was indeed grieved at hearing nothing of
you dear ones for so long a time ; the more so that
the voice of him whom, next to my parents, I loved best
on earth, is silent in the grave. Yet, according to my
own experience, I could not misinterpret that silence,
knowing, as I do, that when the soul is shaken to its
very foundations, and the heart trembles in the bitterness
of grief, the lips are wont to be silent, for words cannot
express their "anguish. Formerly, at the close of a fatiguing
day's work, it was a real refreshment to me to transfer
myself in thought to those to whom I have belonged since
my childhood ; but now, how has that circle been nar
rowed ! Yet how blessed it is" to think that they have
but preceded us ! "
The same faithful attachment which Sister Augustine
bore to the living, she in no small measure preserved for
the dead ; she lived on in the memories of the past, and
her prayers often contained intercessions for those whom
she had loved in life. On a page of her diary she says,
" When the anniversary of the birth of a dear friend brings
back to me all the bitterness of having lost him, then
the old sorrow wakes up afresh. Still, time lessens the,
keenest grief, and standing between us and the graves of
our departed, it seems to admonish us not to attach too
much value to that which must finally submit to its power.
I am thus enabled to look beyond it, and on the wings of
faithful intercession, to unite myself to those who have
preceded me to a better world. God has given me tears
to weep for those I have lost, but He allows me still in
prayer to follow the departed. "^ A complete separation
alone can make the heart unhappy and homeless."

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 153
Sister Augustine never went to Coblenz after her home
had been broken up, except on her way to Nancy. On
such occasions she generally stayed a day or two in the
hospital, that she might see her relations, and from thence
she would take the route by Treves and Luxemburg, and
there spend a short time with her sisters.
Her sister Nannchen, Sister Hildegard, lived in the
Hospital of the Holy Ghost, at Luxemburg, as Lady
Superior of the Elizabethans ; whilst Clementine was the
Superior of a reformatory at Ettelbriick, conducted by
nuns of the same Order and belonging to the Dutch
Government. By means of such journeys she kept up a close con
nection with her relations. She particularly enjoyed
intercourse with her elder sister, who was the very per
sonification of piety, kindness of heart, and gentleness,
and was most tenderly attached to the home which she
had long ago left On the other hand, however. Sister
Augustine often found some difficulty in getting on with
Clementine, who, though far more brilliant and lively than
the elder sister, was in every way so marked a contrast to
herself; but the deep and warm family feeling peculiar
to the three surmounted all inward difficulties and dis
similarities. During her stay at Luxemburg, Sister Augustine usually
wrote an account of her journey to her friend Hilgers : " I
left Bonn with a very heavy heart, my thoughts, on my way
to Coblenz, being often turned to the Rhineland. On
arriving, I went to the Longards, and, half-an-hour after
wards, drove to the Mendelssohns'. However, I was not
let off with only one visit ; at eight o'clock next morning.

154 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
their carriage again came for me. The rest of the day
I divided between my relations and the hospital. On
Thursday I went by rail, with the Lady Superior of
Eupen, to Treves, arriving at the parent-house there,
somewhat hot, at five o'clock in the afternoon. We were
welcomed with great kindness, and I gave my opinion
on many subjects to Velrich, the Mistress bf the novices,
who understood pretty well all that I meant. Yesterday
afternoon I came here by train, and although we were
almost three hours on the way, I had a very pleasant
journey. I was alone in the carriage, and could enjoy
the lovely scenery, and follow undisturbed the course of
my own thoughts. I found my two sisters here, who
received me with great joy, and would not hear of my
going on to Nancy to-morrow, which, however, I must do.
I believe I have now given you an exact account of all, one
thing alone excepted, and that I must not do. Who knows
where my letter may find you ? I think in Dreiborn. To
morrow, then, I shall go to my prison, which is only
rendered tolerable to me by the thought that, on the nth
or 1 2th of September, I shall again be where alone it is
good for me to be."
In another of her letters she says, "Yesterday morn
ing, at five o'clock, I left Treves and arrived here at ten,
safe and sound, where I saw Clementine on the high
road, waiting for the carriage. Your Clementine " (Sister
Augustine sometimes jokingly used this expression to
Hilgers, because on one occasion her sister's brilliant, dis
tinguished manner had greatly excited his admiration),'
"in the joy of her heart, almost smothered me with her
caresses on the open road, in true Lasaulx style. A

FRIENDS IN BONN — FAMILY RELATIONS. 1 55
staflf-surgeoh, with a red collar and a sword at his side,
was sitting beside Hildegard as I entered, and turning to
me, he said, ' Pardon the liberty I take, but I was de
termined to make the acquaintance of the third sister;'
to which I laughingly replied, ' Which, then, of these
three editions do you consider the original ? ' He
answered me by a most cordial shake of the hand. Is
it not a commentary on the incorrigible Lasaulx nature,
that even here, in these holy precincts, they withstand the
influence of hot-headed sanctity > Your Clementine looks
extremely well, and a conversation I have just had with
her entirely confirms the incorrigibility. Hildegard, on
the contrary, looks very delicate, and I do not think that
her much-praised Protestant stafif-surgeon will succeed in
keeping her long with us. I have had plenty of squabbling
too with Pastor Siiss, and have certainly not come off
second best I had a conversation with the Mistress of
the novices at Treves, which convinced me that our fears
were groundless ; so we have every reason to rejoice at
being neighbours in future, and I hope long to remain so.
What a delightful surprise your letter gave me ! I had
not ventured to hope for it till to-morrow. May God
reward you for all you give me by it To-morrow fort
night, God willing, I shall return to the haven of my
happiness." She closes another account of a journey in 1867 by
saying, " Clementine is three-fourths converted, yet she
will ever remain one of the hot-headed saints. To-morrow
I go to Nancy, and then I hope soon to be back again in
my dear home, God keep you in health and as cheerful
as I am."

CHAPTER IX.
THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES : 1848-1868.
In the year 1848, ecclesiastical movements in Germany
had assumed larger proportions, and soon took a turn
which was to hasten the final catastrophe. The Pope,
ever since his exile in Gaeta, on the liberality of whose
views the Italians once built such exalted hopes, had come
entirely under the influence of the Jesuits, and all- his
endeavours were based on their cherished idea, that salvation
could be found only in holding fast to the external struc
ture of the Church, and in the spiritual subordination of
the individual to the will of the Church's head. This
design of centralizing the whole goveriiment of the Church,
and of crushing and destroying all that could in any way
frustrate this design, became ever more apparent, and this
was the less difficult, inasmuch as the disorganization of
the Church in Germany, caused by the French Revolution,
had deprived the clergy of the material basis of their
independence. It was a fact, not without its significance,
that the German nobility declined to take Church orders
any longer, and that the higher positions in the Church
ceased to be filled, as for centuries they had been, by the
sons of the oldest families in the land. The Vatican took

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 1 57
special care that only those men were raised to episcopal
dignity on whose co-operation it could rely. And thus
such harmonious relations arose between Rome and the
German episcopate, as had not been witnessed for centuries
before. If Rome demanded from the Bishops absolute outward
obedience and unconditional inward devotion, she, on the
other hand, asked for unfettered freedom for them from the
German Government In 1848 the Bishops assembled at
Wiirzburg, where they drew up a memorial, demanding
complete freedom from their respective Governments, and
more especially liberty of uninterrupted communication
with Rome. Prussia granted this request in 1850, and after
the conclusion of the Concordat of Baden in 1859, which
had been preceded by other concordats with the dififerent
Governments, the curia arrived at the summit of its power.
The harmony existing between Pope and Bishops did
not, however, extend itself to the particular dioceses, where
an ever-widening chasm existed between the extreme
Romish and the more moderate party, disposed to uphold
their own independence. The mutual understanding be
tween the two parties, which resulted from the events of
1848, had never been more than a passing one, in conse
quence of their both being equally opposed to the attacks
of Government, and it vanished as soon as the causes which
brought it about disappeared.
The twenty years which followed the excitement of
the Revolution were a time of relentless party strife. Al
though the struggle was little visible to those who stood
outside it, it was not on that account the less keen. It
consisted mainly in a striving for the most influential

IS8 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
appointments in the direction of the diocese, and the
Romish party knew well how to keep back and set aside
those whom they could not count among their numbers.
As the latter were for the most part men advanced in
years, peaceably disposed, with no idea of following any
ulterior ends, and for whom power had no attractions,
they did not form themselves into what could be called
a party, and so were far from being a match for their
opponents. The younger members of the clergy had only the choice
left of either attaching themselves to the stronger party
or of at once making up their mind to submit to hardships
for the rest of their lives. To most of them the choice was
not difficult, for this reason — that the party of Rome repre
sented itself to them as the one alone justifiable and ortho
dox ; and so they became members of it without further
thought, naturally grew up with it, became its defenders,
and came to regard their isolated brethren of the oppo
site school as very questionable Catholics. By means of
repeated stringent regulations, which reduced personal
freedom to ever narrower limits, this spirit was strengthened
and practically destroyed all independence. The en
deavours of the curia were powerfully assisted by the
Orders and Catholic associations, which had sprung up
in great numbers since 1848. These societies, with aims
ostensibly very different, all more or less served the pur
pose of firmly planting and rearing in the hearts of their
members, not the Catholic faith only, but a blind love for
the clergy and a deep reverence for the external forms
of the 'Church, while in their general assemblies nothing
was so much emphasized and so enthusiastically revered

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 1 59
as the outward unity of the Church and the person of the
Pope. Montalembert wrote, several years later, referring to his
own country : " It is to us one of the greatest mysteries in
Church history how Catholic France has been in such a
short time turned into a vestibule of the Vatican ; a similar
transformation of Catholic Germany can hardly be called a
mystery, when we consider the multitude of threads, at
once fine and strong, by which feeling, imagination, and
reason have been entwined and fast bound."
Among the Orders it was chiefly the Jesuits and
Redemptorists who were instrumental in bringing about
this change. By means of their missions and their exer
cises they succeeded in obtaining such an extraordinary
influence, not only over the laity already well-disposed
towards the Church, but over the secular clergy and other
orders, that the Protestant Church historian in no way
exaggerated when he termed the Congregation of the
Sisters of Mercy for the Nursing of the Sick " the outposts
of the Jesuits,"
The views of the extreme Romish party were least
warmly received by the theological professors in the
universities, and by the members of the Cathedral Chapters.
This was partly owing to their being more independent of
the Bishops, partly because of their coming into more
frequent contact with the laity, and partly through the
influence which certain pre-eminent men had exercised in
these circles, an influence which had not ceased with the
death of those who exercised it.
When Sister Augustine came to Bonn, she found deep
traces of the struggle which had been going on in the

l6o SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Church about 1830; and by the accounts she got from
friends she could form a clear idea of those stormy days,
the memory of which was full of pain and dissatisfaction.
In March, 1854, she wrote: "Yesterday I went with
my friend Frau P — — to the churchyard, and there visited
the grave of Hermes. It lies lonely and unadorned, with
only a few words on the stone to tell whose dust it covers.
Bitterness mingled with my sadness, till I looked to the
stars of heaven, which need no earthly glory, whilst in
brightness and sublimity they pursue their eternal path.
The hand of the Church deprived him of the fruits and
flowers of his scholarship — and who will dispute her right
to do so.' — but curse and blessing always assume larger
proportions, like the avalanche as it rolls to the abyss
below. The Church rejected only the dark side of his teach
ing ; the hate and envy of his persecutors and slanderers
have eternally destroyed in the hearts of his disciples love
and reverence for their noble master. Who will bring this
to judgment.' Hands strong to pull down, but not to
build ; hearts that cannot love, only hate ; souls who cari
bow in adoration only in the sanctuary of their own
wisdom and their own spiritual world — does this not carry
in itself its own dreadful and inexorable condemnation } I
have ever cherished the memory of this dear departed one
in my prayers. Yesterday my soul looked away beyond
this poor quiet grave, and beyond the still poorer dead
spiritual world."
Sister Augustine acknowledged inward truth and
honesty of heart even in those who stood in direct oppo
sition to her religious views, and her respect and love
depended on the possession of these qualities, and not on

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. l6l
the identity of ecclesiastical opinions. " How is it possible
that the good  ," she writes about a strict Romish
family, " fail to see the wants and failings of the Church
as it now exists .' I believe it is because they are such
kind, good people themselves, and naturally take for
granted that like qualities are possessed even by those
from whom they have become estranged ; but what a
surprise awaits them if their eyes were opened ! "
Though Sister Augustine was well-disposed to the
members of all other Church parties, even having pleasant
talks with Father Ammon, an old Jesuit, who for some
time conducted the morning service in the hospital chapel,
until he one day warmly and offensively reproached her
for not having a single picture of the Sacred Heart in the
hospital, yet she instinctively kept apart from those " hot
headed saints," not on account of their rehgious views,
but because they loved to check and destroy all opinions
different from their own.
She described these endeavours in lively terms on a
particular occasion, when one of her friends was painfully
affected by them : " The matter has given me a dreadful
shock, so that I would involuntarily close my eyes as if I
saw a threatening ghost. To think of burying any one
alive ! The very atheist and heathen would tremble at so
black a deed ; even their cold hearts would pity their
victims. But in spiritual matters the ministers of God are
not afraid of committing similar crimes. Are not these
the abomination of desolation in sacred places? Will
judgment not follow them ? "
After many struggles with the parent-house, the Superior
had succeeded in prohibiting the members of the Order of
M

l62 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Jesuits from entering her hospital, and prevented as far
as she could any clergymen of their way of thinking
from conducting divine service in it.
In a letter to Hilgers she says, " Nothing particular
has happened in my neighbourhood. As no one in the
whole town could be found to take your place, the Superior
of the hospital had to betake herself to Cologne, to Pro
fessor Schwamm, who came here by the first train to read
Mass. Probably, however, the reason is to be found in
the character of that Superior, who would rather do any
thing than ask a favour from those whom she does not
like." Writing to Frau Cornelius, she says, " I have, however,
something new to tell you : Pastor  has declared that
he can no longer consent to be our extra-ordinarius, be
cause, instead of coming round, I am always departing
farther and farther from them. The authorities in Cologne
have sent us Professor Reusch as his substitute. ... If
these hot-headed saints knew how inwardly, and as far as
possible outwardly, I am alienated from them, they would
have driven me from the land long ago. Don't be at all
astonished if I should cme day be quietly superseded."
Sister Augustine's religious and ecclesiastical opinions
were not in the least influenced by her intercourse with
Hilgers, for it was on account of the views she already
held that she felt drawn towards him ; but she owed to him
greater clearness in her ideas, and through him and
Perthes, in whose house several members of the Catholic
clergy were frequent visitors, she became acquainted with
the state of affairs in the diocese of Cologne, and learnt
to share the hopes and fears of her friends.

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 163
To those who looked deeper into the outward ecclesi
astical events of that time, no doubt was left in their
minds as to which direction the ruling party in the Church
was gradually tending.
In 1854 the Pope proclaimed the doctrine of the Im
maculate Conception of the Virgin — which for centuries had
been held only by certain Orders — as a truth essential to
the Catholic faith, and as necessary to salvation for all
members of the Church.
The great majority of the Bishops gave in their ad
herence to the definition given to this dogma, and only
a few denied the Pope's right to take any such step as
this. Among the latter was Cardinal Melchior von Diepen
brock, who, taking a published opinion of Dean Balzer's
as his authority, sent in a protest against this doctrine
being made an article of faith ; whilst the Old Catholic
Bishops of Holland, whose opinion had never been asked,
held themselves in duty bound, as Bishops, to send a
memorial tb Rome, containing their veto of the doctrine
as something "completely new." As many of the theo
logians as opposed the doctrine kept silent and remained
inactive, whilst those who accepted it, especially the clergy
belonging to Orders, were careful, by prayers, medals,
societies, pictures, erection of pillars to the Virgin, etc., to
spread this doctrine as widely as possible among the
people. By the proclamation of this dogma, the Pope had
actually declared himself infallible, and yet the event was
allowed to take place in the Church without any outward
disturbance. In the provincial Councils which, since 1852, had again

1 64 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
come into life, the Bishops renounced all claim to inde
pendence, and made over the rectification and final adoption
of these resolutions, as also the final decision in all doubtful
matters, exclusively to Rome, whose verdict they designated
as " irreformable."
It became ever more apparent with what zeal and
unanimity attempts were being made to destroy all that
now remained of the original Church constitution, which
gave the Pope only " the first place among his equals," and
which was based on the belief, that the power of the Bishops
was not received from the Pope, but from Christ, and
communicated by means of a legitimate election and
dedication. A special peculiarity of the new ecclesiastical school
was, the belief in the necessity and divine institution of the
temporal power of the Pope ; and the zealous Catholics
held more firmly to this idea, which had become almost
an article of faith to them, as the prospect grew less
of the Papal States being able to oppose the overpower
ing army of Italy. A great sensation was accordingly
produced in Catholic Germany, when Dollinger, whilst
the war of 1861 was still raging, brought the further
existence of the Papal States into question in two public
lectures in the Odeon at Munich. The fall of the papal
power, which, according to him, was rapidly approaching,
would, he said, turn out for good, and not for evil, to the
Church. But although in these lectures he treated the
Pope's worldly power as a passing historical event, like
all other earthly institutions that are necessary and justi
fiable for a time, and destined to disappear and make
room for others, he at the same time insisted on the priority

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 165
of the Roman See with a preciseness and a clearness
which could only result from a deep inward conviction of
its divine appointment. " The Chair of St. Peter," he said,
" cannot be destroyed, because it can never be reached by
human power ; therefore no one is strong and mighty enough
to abolish it. If all the Powers in Europe were to unite to
abolish it, it would be impossible. All they can do is to
drive it into exile, and keep it for a longer or shorter
time away from its proper position in Rome. Finally,
this papal Chair can never perish, because it is wholly in
dispensable and cannot be replaced ; it is the keystone
which keeps the whole structure of the Church together.
On ne d^truit ce qu'on ne replace, and no one has ever
seriously maintained that the Papacy can ever be replaced.
It is the foundation stone on which the Church is built,
which makes the Church what she is and what she should
be — an universal Church, the only society which has ever
earnestly set about trying to accomplish the divinely im
posed task of embracing all mankind within its pale, and
of having room within it for all nations. Take away this
stone and the whole immediately falls to pieces. The
Papacy will continue, because, as every Catholic believes,
it is God's will that it should, and because two hundred
millions of human beings in all parts of the globe wish it,
as every one knows who understands anything of the
condition of the world."
These words, however, raised a storm of anger in many
quarters, all the more so, as Dollinger was one of the chief
supporters of the Catholic Church in Germany, and the
most prominent authority in the world of letters among
Catholics. Walter, in Bonn, who, through his relationship

1 66 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
with Windischmann, had imbibed the spirit of the latter,
endeavoured to get up a counter-declaration among the
Catholic professors in Bonn. His plan, however, was at
once opposed by Professor Reusch, who hesitated to sub
scribe to any protest against utterances he had not yet
read. Walter could not agree to this delay, " lest the
effect should be lost," and the whole came to nothing.
" Should you ever happen to meet that excellent man.
Professor Dollinger," wrote Sister Augustine about this time
to Professor Cornelius, " please express to him my deepest
reverence for the address he lately delivered. It did my
heart so much good, and made me nearly forget all the
annoyance which the ecclesiastical matters of recent years
have caused me. The hot-headed saints . . . have been
perfectly appalled at the abomination of the holy place,
and that a man like Dollinger, who was formerly their pride,
should so cruelly attack their opinions. They will have
their revenge, but how is not yet known. Hilgers came
back from his holidays quite ill and dispirited, but the
splendid address and all the reflections connected with it
have revived his courage, and brightened his hopes of a
better future for the Church."
And again she writes : " The hot-headed saints are not
reconciled to Dollinger yet, but they have not the courage
to break a lance with him in open fight."
Dollinger printed both addresses, and as an introduc
tion to them published the book " Church and Churches,
Papacy and the Papal States." Here, too, he wrote on
the Papacy in a way which might have satisfied the strictest
Catholic : " Whoever declares, ' I do not acknowledge the
Pope, I or the Church to which I belong wish to stand

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 167
alone, the Pope is a stranger to us, his Church is not our
Church ; ' such a one thereby declares, ' We no longer
belong to the universal Church — we will not be members
of its body.' "
Sister Augustine greeted this book, which was sent to
her from Munich, with joy, and wrote concerning it to Frau
Cornelius : " Now I must express to both of you my thanks
for Dollinger's long wished for book. Professor Hilgers
and I read it through almost ravenously, and we feel our
selves quickened and of good courage. God will reward
Professor Dollinger, and certainly more richly and better
than the Pope ever could, for having, in our evil days,
lifted up such a bold testimony for the truth. Our
hot-headed saints, with  at their head, may well
weep tears of blood over the loss of a man who has till
now been their pride. But we cannot improve them, for
they have not the good cause, but their own interests,
at heart, and to secure these they are not over scrupu
lous as to the means they employ. The Protestants are,
of course, rubbing their hands with satisfaction."
In the summer of the following year, 1862, Pius IX.,
" the Pope of great initiatives," as Cecconi called him,
summoned the Bishops of the whole Church together, on
the occasion of the canonization of the Japanese martyrs.
Two hundred and sixty-five Bishops obeyed the call. The
Pope left no means untried to raise to its highest pitch
the feeling of reverence and devotion to the papal Chair.
In like manner the Charges he gave, which emphasized
especially the unity of the Church through the subor
dination of all its members to Rome, together with the
daily imposing ceremonies of which he formed the centre.

1 68 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
could not fail to produce the intended impression on the
minds of the Bishops. In the address which the Bishops
presented to the Pope before they separated, they expressed
to him their entire submission and reverence: "Thou art to
us the teacher of truth in its purity, the centre of unity, ,
the unquenchable light kindled by divine wisdom for the
nations of the earth. Thou art the rock, the foundation
of the Church, against which the gates of hell shall not
prevail. When thou speakest, we hear the voice of St
Peter; in thy decisions we acknowledge the authority _of
Chri'^t" Moreover, these Bishops declared, unanimously,
that the temporal power of the Pope was based on divine
decree, and that this was unconditionally necessary for the
well-being of the Church.
Dollinger considered the leaders of German science as
called upon and most capable of checking the ever-pro
gressing endeavours of the Romish party after centraliza
tion. Accordingly, he drew up a proposal for an assembly
of all Cathohc men of letters in Germany, which might, by
raising the general tone of science, assist in accomplishing
the end in view. He issued in 1863, in connection with
Abb^ Haneberg and Professor Alzog in Freiburg, invi
tations for a general conference in Munich, which actually
assembled in the autumn of the same year. It had for its
principal aims :
I. To pave the way for more friendly relations between
men of letters ;
2. To settle scientific differences ;
3. To discuss ecclesiastical questions ;
4. To support scientific undertakings ;
5. To unite and organize scientific Catholic magazines.

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 1 69
A copy of these proposals was sent beforehand to all
the German Bishops, many of whom hailed them with
warm satisfaction. On the 28th of September Ahh6
Haneberg opened the conference with a review of the
past, presenting a sad picture of the history of Catholic
theology during the previous ten years. "Where are the
hopes," he exclaimed, "which revived Catholic Germany
afresh when Mohler worked among us, when Gorres taught
us, when Montalembert crossed the Rhine to offer his
homage to German scholarship ; when the younger Win
dischmann, still a youth, had earned the reputation of a
ripened scholar.'" Most of those present were doubtless
sincerely anxious for the furtherance and promotion of
science, but when the limits of science came to be defined,
opinions proved to be so diverse that little impulse was
necessary to bring to light the already existing inward
opposition. This showed itself in the very first meeting
of the conference, when Dollinger spoke on the history
and signification of theology, and its important mission
within the Church, in the following words : — " It is theo
logy that gives life and strength to a right and healthy
public opinion on religious and ecclesiastical questions, and
all the leaders of Church and State must bow before it As
prophecy in the time of the Hebrews took its place side by
side with the ordained priesthood, so in the Church, over
and above the ordinary, there is an extraordinary power,
and this is public opinion ; through it, theological science
exercises its legitimate influence, and nothing can finally
withstand it."
The views here expressed were similar ^o those which,
some twenty years previously, Joseph Gorres had uttered

I70 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
with such enthusiasm,* when he declared that there
had been, and ever will be, times in the history of the
Church, in which a Pope or a Council can rightly lose
their authority, when one Pope and one Council can be
set up against another ; and in such times of need the
Church can be saved by no outward form of government,
be it Pope or be it Council, but only by the return of the
individual to a living faith in the Redeemer ; and in such
times when the legitimate leaders of the Church have
shown themselves unworthy or incapable of it, the duty
of establishing ecclesiastical authority devolves on its
inferior members. Perhaps Dollinger apprehended the
coming of such times when he spoke those mighty words
at the first meeting of the assembly, which disclosed
the irreconcilable differences which existed among the
members. The address was vigorously attacked, especially by the
professors of the seminary in Mayence, who were zealous
representatives of the party whose only hope of remedy
was from high quarters — that is, from Rome. The
thorough loyalty of the assembly to the Church was un
mistakable in the almost unanimous reception of the two
propositions brought forward by Professor Michehs. These
were — the necessity of the connection of all science with the
Church, and the subordination of science to the authority
of the Church. Professors Huber and Friedrich alone were
opposed to this, and voted in favour of the complete inde
pendence of science. To show that the assembly took up
its position on purely ecclesiastical ground, and still stood
in living connection with the Head of the Church, a loyal
* " Staat und Kirche nach Ablauf der Kolner Irrung."

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. I/i
address to the Pope was unanimously resolved on, and its
preparation entrusted to Professors Herzenrother, Reusch,
and Schulte. When, shortly before the breaking up of
the assembly, Heinrich of Mayence delivered a speech on
the unity of the Catholic Church in its widest accep
tation, even in spite of the oppositions which had been
discovered in it, this idea of unity again exercised all its
old magical power, and the majority left Munich with
bright hopes for the future.
Sister Augustine in the autumn of 1863 wrote: "Pro
fessors Knoodt and Reinkens have come back in high
spirits, and have great hopes that a marked change has
come over the Catholic mind, which augurs the best results
for the future. Hilgers is distrustful, and shakes his head
sadly, for the past and the present seem to him so
hopeless." At first it was intended to hold these assemblies every
year, but when it was declared in Rome that they could
only be permitted under the superintendence of the
Bishops, the plan was given up.
In the meantime, the extreme Romish party among the
German clergy and professors was unremittingly engaged
in bringing their more moderately disposed brethren and
their writings under suspicion, both at Rome and among
their people, and in claiming for themselves the possession
of the only true faith and mind of the Church.
The prospects of free thought in the Church became
more and more hopeless, and in 1864 a Syllabus appeared,
comprising eighty opinions which the Pope declared as
heretical, and among them several which formed the very
basis of all modern political life. It was received in com-

172 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
plete silence, and the Bishops would fain have put a milder
interpretation on it, as it contained propositions which,
in the form the Pope put them, were totally untenable in
Germany. " I find myself condemned sixteen times," said
Sister Augustine after she had read the Syllabus.
In the autumn of 1865 a number of Catholic scholars,
chiefly theologians and historians, assembled in Bonn, to
devise a means of bringing, about unity of thought and
action in view of the threatening danger. Dollinger, as
the guest of Professor Floss, took the chair at this
meeting; but many who had been present at the assembly
at Munich were now absent, chiefly the professors of
Mayence, who in their magazine. The Catholic, opposed
the others with much bitterness and intolerance.
The Theologisches Liter aturblatt, which was founded
in Bonn under Dr. Reusch's editorship, was the organ
through which their common aims found expression, and
it soon took a position of high authority, not only in
the Rhenish dioceses, but in many other Catholic circles
in German^, and was considered a power to be dreaded
by its enemies.
During this time the diocese of Cologne was awaiting in
anxious suspense the appointment of the new Archbishop,
on whom the welfare of the opposing Church parties
should in the immediate future depend. Cardinal von
Geissel died in September, 1864, and the Cathedral
Chapter could make no definite choice, and were only
able to agree on individuals whom the Pope would not ap
point "Tell Karl," Sister Augustine writes to Frau
Cornelius, " that all is perfectly quiet as regards the
appointment. In reality, however, all has been carefully

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES. 1 73
undermined, and any moment we may see something in
the shape of an Archbishop blown into the air."
Owing to the want of trustworthy information, the
most contradictory reports were spread, keeping the minds
of those chiefly interested in a state of excitement.
In the summer of 1865, Sister Augustine wrote : " 
told me to-day that Herr Kaulen informed him that Ahb6
Haneberg would come to Bonn one of these days, and
take up his quarters at the ' Ewige Aubetung ' (Convent
of the Eternal Adoration), and that there is no doubt a
particular reason for this, on which Kaulen built the most
joyful hopes for Cologne. This last statement is, no doubt,
a credo of  ." Sister Augustine did not share these
sanguine hopes, as she considered the character of the abb^
by no means equal to the important position of Archbishop
of Cologne. " Frencken said to me," she wrote to Hilgers,
" it would probably come to a vote, in which case Hane
berg would be appointed. Prospects are, therefore, not
yet very bright" It never, however, came to a vote, and
even if an election had been made, it would have been
useless, as was afterwards evident from the assurance
given by the Pope to a Benedictine monk, who was
about to return to Germany, with reference to Haneberg's
appointment to Eichstadt in the following year : " Dite a
questo abbate, che non lo far6 mai vescovo."
The uncertainty as to who should fill the archiepis
copal Chair had now lasted two years, when, in the spring
of 1866, to the surprise of all and the consternation of
many, Melchers, Bishop of Osnabrtick, a well-known
member of the ultra-Romish party, was appointed to the
diocese.

174 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
The Romanists were triumphant, their opponents hope
less, whilst some, as prudent as versatile, in view of the
want of success with which their endeavours were sure to
be attended, went gradually over to the other party, and
thus saved their theological reputation in the eyes of the
new Head of the Church.
Sister Augustine writes : " Poor Hilgers is not getting
on very well ; his lectures are almost unattended, because
the Archbishop has chosen to make a friend of Professor
 . What is piped in Rome is sung abroad, till God
will one day put a stop to all the wickedness in the world.
Haneberg should be proud that the Pope has not thought
him worthy of a See, for he who fills the Chair in Cologne
is certainly no honour to it."
" Professor Hilgers is not in very good spirits," she con
tinues ; " the Archbishop, or rather the school of Catholics
to which he belongs, cannot fail to fill every one differing
in opinion from him with fear and dismay. How far things
will go before God interferes, I don't know, for I always
thought that these hot-headed saints had lost all stand
ing ground, so completely are they destitute of all pure
Christianity. . . .  and  lately ventured to pay
me a visit, but I think they did not fail to notice the
contempt with which I regarded them, and the pride with
which I turned from their proposals, in order to keep
my own inward and entire freedom. There are really
very few people who remain true to their colours and
possess sterling worth. Believing this, I have no difficulty
in becoming exclusive."
' Much worse than all difference of opinion was the fact
that both parties gradually lost faith in each other's

THE POSITION OF CHURCH PARTIES, 17S
honesty of purpose, and watched each other with the most
undisguised distrust.
A sad spectacle was presented at that time of inward
conflict by Bishop Pelldram, the successor of Arnoldi, on
the episcopal Chair of Treves. ,
Bishop Pelldram was a gentle, kindly man, almost too
ideal for the realities he had to deal with in Treves. His
North-German character was unsympathetic to the clergy
of the district, and the confidence which he extended to the
Cathedral Prior, whom his predecessor had somewhat put
aside, occasioned at once a split between him and his
clergy. Inthe summer of 1865 Sister Augustine wrote: "Knoodt
is going this autumn to Treves, to discuss matters with the
Bishop there, whom the people distrust as coming from
a Protestant land, and because he does not look as Catholic
as his predecessor."
Pelldram's life in Treves was short, but full of trial.
He was in delicate health when he came, and during the
time he held his appointment, his memory began to fail
him. The work and excitement of his office, with the
continued struggle with opposing parties in his diocese,
undermined his strength more quickly than his appearance
betrayed — his imposing figure reminded all who happened
to see him of the majestic figures of the old Electors.
After hardly two years of office, he departed from the
sphere which had caused him so much disquiet, to enter
the regions of eternal peace.
Sister Augustine, who had loved and respected the
Bishop, wrote somewhat bitterly, from Luxemburg, to
Hilgers in 1867: "Poor Pelldram was dying in Treves,

176 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
surrounded by those who in so short a time had caused his
death. It is perfectly disgusting to me to see how httle
his death is regretted here. And no greater accusation
could be brought against the poor man, than that he
trusted everybody and wished to please everybody."

CHAPTER X.
HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG: 1 864.
The war in Schleswig-Holstein broke out in 1 864, and, on
the invitation of the Knights of St. John of Malta, a number
of Sisters of Charity and members of monastic Orders
started, nearly at the same time with the troops, for the
seat of war, to undertake the care of the wounded.
Sister Augustine was one of the first to offer herself for
the service. Overjoyed at obtaining permission from Nancy,
she intrusted Sister Gertrude with the care of the Bonn
hospital, and left for the North on the nth of February,
accompanied by one of the Sisters from Bonn.
The prospect of so wide a field of labour filled her
with the same joyful and expectant impatience which
a true soldier's heart feels in the prospect of a first
campaign. She felt sure she would find scope for the
exercise of her love, and for displaying her talent of bring
ing clearness and arrangement into what was still in the
wildest disorder. It was, moreover, the first time during
the twenty-four years of her convent life that she. had set
out on a journey the object of which was not a Retreat.
The prospect now before her animated and refreshed her
spirits, and she regarded the journey as a blessing from
God, for which she was heartily thankful. And even the
N

J 78 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
sad impressions which she received on her arrival at the
seat of war were not able to dispel the joy she ex
perienced. On reaching Altona, she wrote to Hilgers :
" Sister Gertrude will already have given you the first news
of us, and have set your mind at rest. I can now add that
I am very well, and to all appearance in possession of a
considerable amount of mental and physical strength. Now
for my news : as we have waited in vain till this morning
for the five Sisters from Berlin, we shall start for Kiel in
half an hour. The station-master has just told me that
the train does not leave till 7 p.m., thus necessitating our
arrival in the middle of the night. He has, however,
allowed us to go in a goods train with a number of
soldiers, and this Sister Theodosia and I prefer doing. I
cannot sufficiently praise the kindness and generosity of all
the officials, by whom every Sister of Charity is heartily
welcomed. Two additional batches of wounded soldiers
arrived here yesterday, and they have been entrusted to
the care of our Sisters from Prague. The slightly wounded
are sent on to this place, or to Hamburg and Berlin ; the
severely wounded to Kiel : thus there is more work there
than hands to do it. Even the Prussian ambassador, whose
son is with the army, had up till yesterday received no
authentic information with regard to the last engagement ;
he knew only that there had been dreadful bloodshed.
To put your mind at rest, I may add that the authorities
here take care of the Sisters in a very kind and considerate
manner. There are always some officers in the hospital,
ready to send for whatever we may require for the poor
soldiers or ourselves."
She continued this account of her journey in a letter to

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 179
Frau Mendelssohn: "We left Altona on Saturday morn
ing, and did not arrive in Kiel until night, for railway com
munication is still quite irregular. Happily, however, we
were most kindly attended to by a tall gentleman with
only one arm, whom I afterwards found out to be a friend
of Beseler. His name is Borgfeldt, and he is a church
warden. Whilst it was yet night, he conducted us here, to
the hospital where we now are and will most likely remain.
There are four of us to about sixty soldiers, some wounded
and some ill in consequence of over-exertion. Of course,
we have only soldiers to assist us, but these, with the
two doctors who help us in nursing, are quite sufficient.
Everything else is going on well ; that is to say, we are
in good health, and rejoice to be able to do something for
the poor creatures, whose gratitude is our richest reward,"
About two days later she writes from New Miinster:
"As we have to wait here some little time, I cannot
make better use of it than by writing. You heard, I pre
sume, through the Mendelssohns of our arrival in Kiel,
so I may go on from that point. I had hardly got the
machinery into working order, -when I was awakened
last night by a telegram, summoning me and three other
Sisters to Schleswig, to look after the severely wounded.
I don't know how long we shall remain there, but I
rather think I shall be sent still further on to Flens-
burg — no further, I hope, as beyond that they say there
are no more hospitals. Perhaps, however, as Major von
Stockhausen thinks, we may have to go to the field am
bulances, quite in the neighbourhood of the enemy.
God knows the feelings, with which I often look upon so
many sufferers. In spite of myself, I cannot return the

l8o SISTER AUGUSTINE.
grasp of their weary hands without tears, and yet I would
not change my present position with any other, nor do I
ever wish I had remained at home. Though I have left
many dear ones behind me, still the pain of separation
is more than made up by the consciousness that I am of
some comfort to the unfortunate men here, and I know
that I can always count on your prayers. The French
consul is standing beside me and talking incessantly.
When am I to hear of you and of all whom I love .' That
comes of being always on the wing ! My health continues
wonderfully good, and my spirits are, if possible, still
better; so don't be unnecessarily anxious about me, for I
am really more to be envied than pitied. There comes
the train — good-bye, with kindest remembrances ! "
Sister Augustine had more work in Schleswig than she
could do. She found the wounded in a most helpless con
dition. She worked day and night with Dr. Ritter, the
hospital physician, rendering what assistance she could*
There were scarcely any bandages, and, in fact, nearly
everything was wanting. Even such articles as had been
abundantly provided could not at first be got at for lack
of hands. For instance, several large chests were stand
ing in a shed, with labels to show that they contained
oranges, an article greatly in demand, but they were in
accessible through other stores being piled on the top of
them. On the 24th of February she wrote to Bonn : " My poor
wounded are still under the influence of narcotics, so,
whilst watching beside them, I can hastily answer your
kind letter of yesterday, which brought me the news of
yourself and your surroundings. You do not say any-

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. l8l
thing about your health, but I hope and trust that you are
well, for I must keep up my spirits and energies. The
consciousness of being able to alleviate, though, alas ! not
to remove, so much suffering, helps me over many of the
difficulties of my position. I have lived through years
during the last week — so varied are the experiences
through which I have passed. An idea which I have
often spoken to you about has again been present to my
mind with more than desirable clearness. You will have
difficulty by-and-by in reconciling me to the inevitable,
and yet what a beautiful thing truth is, even when it
causes us deep pain ! I suppose you have got the
particulars of my Schleswig-Holstein experiences from
others. Yesterday, according to your wish, I wrote to
Walter. Please take the letter to the Mendelssohns your
self, and give them once more my kindest remembrances.
Though I am close to the camp, I know less than you
at home how things look. The day before yesterday a
number of gentlemen, among others Count  , arrived
here, partly to see whether the Protestants were not giving
us too much to do (you can fancy the answer I gave him),
and partly to visit the entrenchments of Diippel, to learn
whether it would be necessary to establish new ambulances
near them. They were anxious to avoid the recurrence
of what happened here before, when the wounded were
actually without bandages a-nd medical assistance for two
whole days (the engagement had not been expected
so soon). In one of the hospitals here the wounded are
still lying on the ground, with nothing but a straw mattress
under them. Should the fight at the entrenchments of
Diippel be a bloody one, I shall possibly again be sent on ;

1 82 SISTER - AUGUSTINE.
if not, I shall remain here as long as God pleases. Right
and left of me lie young men from Prague, whose limbs
afe so horribly shattered, that by order of the staff phy
sician I persuaded them to have them amputated to
morrow. How many will still be sacrificed ! Could the
gentlemen of the Government at Berlin and other places,
where everything is planned, spend but one week in the
hospitals, and hear the groans of their poor victims, I am
sure they would be more peacefully inclined ! "
Towards the end of February, Sister Augustine removed
from Schleswig to Rendsburg. The Sisters belonging to
her own Order had not been sufficiently firm in the position
they had first taken up, and consequently had not been
able to fulfil the duties which they had expressly come to
perforra. They had allowed themselves to be intimidated
by the servants of the hospital physicians to such a degree,
as to be almost entirely excluded from any share in
nursing the sick, and -were obliged to confine themselves to
the performance of work of the coarsest nature, whilst the
officials themselves, whose confidence they had forfeited
by several blunders, afforded them but little protection.
Other Sisters, indeed, from Westphalia, who were likewise
in Rendsburg, and who had had similar difficulties to
encounter, succeeded nevertheless in overcoming them by
an energy, a tact, and a practical discretion, of which the
Superior from Treves seemed to be entirely destitute.
On the ist of March Sister Augustine wrote, still from
Schleswig, to Hilgers : " My telegram will have already
informed you that, according to a summons from Treves, I
am to go to-morrow to the third Field Ambulance in Rends
burg. The reason of this change is, that the Superior there

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 1 83
does not seem to get on very well, owing, I believe, to her
being one of the hot-headed saints. It remains to be seen
whether I shall succeed in pulling the cart out of the mud.
For the last day or two there has been a lull in our own and
other hospitals, owing partly to the fact that the worst
cases have mostly terminated fatally, and partly that those
less serious had recovered so far as to allow of their re
moval to more distant hospitals. Whether there be some
deeper reason for this last-mentioned plan, I do not know.
Should the attack on Diippel be a sanguinary one, then of
course it is better to make room here for the reception of
the freshly wounded. Should it, on the contrary, result in
little bloodshed, then I may hope to be soon with those
whose interest I have most at heart Herr Clason came to
see us the day before yesterday, and left yesterday morn
ing for the entrenchments of Diippel. According to his
opinion, a dreadful slaughter may be expected, but every
one here thinks the contrary, for it is reported that Eng
land has interfered. I am much relieved to hear that
Rudolph Perthes is safe. May God continue to protect
him ! Remember me most kindly to the Perthes and
Beselers (the latter's house stands quite close to me here
by the water's side). How I look forward to meeting you
again ! To keep your mind easy, I may add that I am
quite well and in good spirits, as far as that is possible in
sight of so much misery."
" We are so well off here," she wrote to her brother
Hermann, "that we have not the slightest desire for the
quiet days at home."
In Rendsburg she found matters very much as she
had expected. On her first arrival she succeeded in

184 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
restoring things to such good order that former blunders
were quite forgotten. All placed so much confidence in
her, that in a letter to Hilgers, she said she "could not
wish the physicians and officials to show her more kind
ness than they did." "And," she continues, "our sphere
of activity is all I could wish it to be ; so you can fancy
how happy we five are."
On the 4th of March she wrote the following report
from the 3rd Field Hospital for the Severely Wounded,
Rendsburg, to Countess Stillfried, at Berlin : —
" Since arriving here I have learnt the meaning of the
term 3rd Field Hospital for the Severely Wounded ; but,
thank God, I am encouraged rather than disheartened. I
was, I confess, rather taken aback on discovering that I
and my five Sisters had, until this time, done little more
than parade-service ; but now active field-service has begun.
Our hospital consists of five large apartments, formerly
inhabited by the Danish ambassador, but now vacated.
Tears are better fitted than words to describe the scenes
by which we are surrounded. What horrors are occasioned
by war ! The Austrian hospital, which is under the care
of the Sisters of St. Vincent, is opposite ours. Death has
made fearful havoc there. Within three weeks they lost
more than three-quarters of their patients. We have a
whole room full of poor Danes, who are constantly being
reminded of their hard fate by the sight of a Prussian
soldier, who keeps walking up and down with drawn
sword. All that can be done is done for every one of
the sufferers, but even kindness cannot remove many a
bitter grief This is the only thing to make us sad in
these happy days."

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 185
A week later she wrote to Hilgers : " In the event of
Diippel being stormed, we shall be still more pressed for
time than just now, so I will employ this morning hour in
turning, not in thought only, as is my wont, but in writing,
to my dear ones at home. I will begin with the question
which I have so often asked myself of late : Why is my
letter to you still unanswered? Should illness be the
reason of your silence, then I must earnestly request Marie
to write to me at once. In my position uncertainty has
a most paralyzing effect Next comes Velten's account
of poor Sister Gertrude's state of health, and anxiety
for her and the hospital would long ago have brought
me home, were it not that by returning I should feel to
have completely undone all the good already accomplished.
This sounds self-important, I know, but still I say it,
although reluctantly. Besides, the medical authorities
speak so anxiously of the much blood likely to be shed in
the coming storming of Diippel, that we Sisters should be
the last to dream of forsaking the poor suffering soldiers.
For the last five or six days the standing orders from head
quarters have been: 'Have as much room as possible ready
in the third Heavy Field Hospital!' Accordingly, though
our physicians have dismissed as many as possible to
Spandau and the entrenchments of Diippel, yet every day
brings us so many sick and slightly wounded, that we have
hardly time to get ready the beds required. In this way two
hundred beds are constantly occupied, and only the newly
furnished rooms are empty. Last night two waggons full
of wounded Danish prisoners arrived. These poor creatures
indeed deserve the greatest sympathy — first, for their sad
physical condition, and then for the long imprisonment

1 85 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
that is before them. Our poor fellows, who, when hardly
convalescent, must return to Diippel, have often a heavy
heart too, knowing full well, as they do, that only death is
before them. We put a piece of white bread and cheese in
their knapsacks, and give them a little money to help them
on their way. They are all provided with good clean
clothes. In this way we try to brighten the gloom which
hangs over their future. Yesterday the whole lobby and
our own room were crammed with soldiers ready to leave
for Diippel. I was quite alone, and had been dealing out
provisions to them for a whole hour, when suddenly the
Sisters from the dispensary came in, and, after surveying
the faces of the soldiers, they said: 'These men are all from
the other hospitals in town.' I inquired if it was so, and
the answer was : ' Yes ; but there are no Sisters there, so we
can get nothing.' Most of them had tears in their eyes,
and I did not regret the mistake which had occurred.
My fellow-Sisters are all that I could wish, and the way
they have of treating our poor sufferers seems to have a
good effect ; this, I suppose, is the reason why the physicians
are so fond of them. I cannot tell you how kind the in
habitants of the town are to the soldiers, who, they say,
have come to free them from the Danish yoke. Accord
ing to reports, however, this is by no means the case
further north, as in Kolding, Fredericia, and Grafenstein.
The people there are hostile, and will give the soldiers
nothing ; so that provisions and straw have already begun
to fail." Writing about the same time to Frau Mendelssohn,
she says, " I have found it to be a very marked feature
of Schleswig-Holstein, that the inhabitants, whilst they

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 1 87
receive the Austrian troops with the greatest enthusiasm,
owing to their distrust of Prussian politics, treat our soldiers
with comparatively little sympathy. As usual, the fair sex
shows the greatest animosity. With regard to us Sisters,
however, all denominational differences seem to be for
gotten, and we experience great kindness. The Protes
tant clergymen and their Tamilies are our particular friends
and benefactors, and even say that they are entirely agreed
with us."
On Easter Sunday, March 27, she wrote to Hilgers :
" Wishing to have an additional joy to that which every
Christian experiences on this day, I naturally apply to you
in order to obtain it. To-day, when for the first time a
priest from Saxony celebrated Mass in the beautiful Pro
testant church here, I remembered all those dear to me,
with a heavier heart, I confess, than I would have had in
the hospital chapel in Bonn. Whether it was the pressure
of these warlike times, or the separation from home that
weighed upon me, I cannot say.
"Easter Monday. — A wounded soldier, who has just
arrived from Fredericia, tells us that we have as yet taken
only two entrenchments, and there are seven yet remaining.
The heavy artillery arrived the day before yesterday, and
bombarded the entrenchment No. I. for forty-eight hours.
It remained uninjured, as if not a single shot had touched it
Heaven knows when the storming will be possible ! Never
theless our daily orders are — ' Have as much room ready
as possible for the reception of the wounded ! ' In Jiitland
and the vicinity of Diippel they say the soldiers are
hardly able to get any provisions, even for money, so
that we have enough to do here, filling the soldiers' knap-

1 88 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
sacks and bottles before they return to the camp. I haye
not written to Berlin again, as Countess Stillfried printed"
my first letter in one of the newspapers, and I write as
seldom as possible to Treves. ... A day or two ago the
head Chaplain of the army introduced himself to me thus :
' Our most gracious Queen commanded me, before leaving
Berlin, to visit all the Catholic Sisters everywhere, and to
thank them in her name for their care of the soldiers.' The
authorities here are always very kind to us, and this, o£
course, tends greatly to ease our position."
Sister Augustine possessed that Christian charity to
such an extent which, as she says in one of her letters,
" loves the quiet, secluded paths," that she had a great
repugnance to having her doings made the subject of
public talk and admiration. " Do all you can," she wrote to
her brother Hermann, " to prevent my letters from getting
into the newspapers ;, three have already appeared, and I
am much annoyed, at it" On the other hand, she ever
wished to remain in constant communication -with those
who were dear to her, and to let them know all that befel
her. She wrote to Hilgers : " I hastily make use of a spare
quarter of an hour, to tell you what I shall probably not
have time to write to-morrow. First of all, however, many
thanks for your last letter, which brought comfort to my
soul. I can never be thankful enough to God and to you
for it. Our staff-surgeon and his assistant left for Rinkenis
a day or two ago, where there is a newly established Prus
sian ambulance. Last night our head surgeon received a
letter from the first-named gentleman, begging him to try
and persuade me to come to him at once, with at least one
other Sister, as the severely wounded there stood in such

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 189
great need of help. Though it does not take much to
touch my heart, still I telegraphed to Rinkenis to-day, to
learn whether no other help was to be had, and if I could
find accommodation in the camp itself On this last point
there is some doubt, as the troops there are so numerous.
I shall have to decide according to the answer which comes
to-morrow, whether I shall go on to Rinkenis, which is
said to be a village two miles in length, and within an
hour's distance of the entrenchments of Diippel. I shall be
close to the field of battle there, and continually in presence
of the most horrible scenes. God has been so faithful to
me hitherto, that it is doubly impossible for me to draw
back from this new task. If I go there, I shall make some
of my Sisters follow me, and the gap left here will be filled
by Sisters from Kiel, where there is now but little work to
do. I get into a strange frame of mind when I look into
the future, which now lies before me more uncertain than
ever, and is entirely dependent on what course the war
takes. But it is in God's hands, and there, too, I may rest
quiet and thankful. Rinkenis is said to be only ten
minutes distant from the sea, so that our wounded can be
brought down on mattresses to the shore, and sent by ship
to Flensburg. May God keep you and all dear to me !
My kindest regards to all, but especially to you, my
excellent and faithful friend,"
Whenever the position of matters became critical, and
where most work was to be done, Sister Augustine was
always turned to for help ; nor did she ever fail to fulfil
all expectations. It was a real pleasure to the doctors
to work with her, and the wounded who were committed
to her care appreciated the love and energy with which

19° SISTER AUGUSTINE.
she devoted herself to them, and for the consideration
which she showed for the wants and the feelings of each.
Thus, it cost her much thought and care to find a way
of rendering ample pecuniary assistance to a wounded
Dane in her hospital. Count R  , now reduced to perfect
poverty, so afraid was she of hurting his somewhat ex
cessive sense of honour. Owing to the generosity of her
Bonn friends, she was enabled in some cases to bestow
more than the usual amount given for the assistance of
those committed to her care. She was very grateful for
all that was sent her from home.
She wrote to Professor Perthes : " Almost daily whole
transports of soldiers, hungry and empty-handed, come to
us, not, however, to return as they came, for they emptied
our pockets in the most unmerciful manner. This side of
our work is often a very cheerful one."
Altogether her sense of humour was always ready to
discover the comical side of everything, even when con
nected with the performance of the gravest duties, and
she often laughed on looking back to such incidents.
On one occasion the Holy Communion was being ad
ministered by a Lutheran Pastor to a dying Danish
soldier ; Sister Augustine performed the service of beadle,
and whilst she was reverently and devoutly assisting the
clergyman, suddenly the Catholic army Chaplain came in,
and stood in mute astonishment, motionless, at the door,
with such an expression of stupefaction, that, in spite of
the solemnity of the ceremony, she could not retain her
gravity. According to the wishes of the physicians, she went to
Rinkenis in the beginning of April, where she at first

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 191
had only one Sister with her. She wrote : " This mbrning
we went by rail as far as Flensburg, and were sent on
in a field-carriage from the commander's quarters, with a
guard of soldiers accompanying us, arriving in Rinkenis
safe and sound before dusk. The physicians were greatly
pleased at seeing us here among so many severely wounded ;
yet our own joy is much greater in the consciousness of
bringing relief and comfort to these unfortunate men. Be
sure not to be anxious about me : although the roar of
cannon is near enough to shake our windows, yet it cannot
harm either our wounded or ourselves."
In a letter to Professor Perthes, she gives the following
description of her position in Rinkenis : " We two Sisters
are living here in the most peculiar circumstances, and in
the strangest company — Sister Berthilde in the school-
house, half an hour from here, where there are two
large rooms full of wounded, quite alone among doctors,
attendants, and all sorts of officials. The same can be
said of myself up here, in an inn on the highway to
Diippel. The lower flat is the pubhc-house, fearfully noisy,
and frequented till all hours of the night ; the upper-
story, a large dancing-room, with a raised and decorated
platform for the musicians ; and the room next to it is
filled with our wounded. An adjoining room is inhabited
by the physicians and attendants, and I am alone among
all the uniforms."
Towards the middle of April, the order came to vacate
the hospitals near the seat of war, as great convoys of
wounded were expected. On the morning of the i8th of
April, Sister Augustine wrote : " An hour ago we sent off as
many of our wounded as possible by ship to Flensburg,

192 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
as we got the intimation yesterday that the entrenchments
are to be stormed to-day. Last night, eleven waggons
filled with wounded arrived, some of which we sent to the
school where Sister Berthilde is, and some have been kept
here. The sight is so dreadful that I can hardly bear to
look out of the window. For a long way nothing can be seen
but the flashing of the cannons, particularly on the heights
of the entrenchments, which, as our wounded say, is a sign
that the Prussians have reached the top. All that remains
of the villages in the neighbourhood is in flames. The
firing shakes everything in our rooms — what wretched
beings will be brought us this afternoon ! "
On the 1 8th of April the entrenchments of Diippel were
taken by storm. The victory was a bloody one ; death
reaped a rich harvest, and Christian charity gleaned the
battlefield. The wounded were brought literally in loads to
Rinkenis. Sister Augustine had to summon up her whole
physical and mental strength, so as not to succumb in the
presence of so much suffering. On the arrival of the
waggons, she mounted them, and assisted in separating
the living from the corpses of those whom had died on the
way. It almost broke her heart to witness the distress of
those wounded whom it was impossible to receive into the
crowded hospital, and had to be sent further on in the
cold dark night. She and her fellow-Sister worked so un
ceasingly, helping the surgeons to bandage the wounded,
as hardly to allow themselves an hour's rest In those
days she had no time to write home ; all her time and
thoughts were given to her wounded. She only wrote
a few almost illegible lines in pencil : " Yesterday the en-

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 193
trenchments taken by storm ; frightful slaughter — the
horrors here indescribable. I spent half the night on
the high-road, getting the living out from among the dead
and having them brought up here. Adieu ! "
Several weeks elapsed before she could write home
and give an account of herself to the anxious Sisters at
the Bonn hospital, and to her brother Hermann.
" Dear faithful friend ! " she wrote to Hilgers, " I can
only tell you by a few lines what a pleasure I had in re
ceiving your kind letter here in Rinkenis, and just at a time
when I am surrounded by such inconceivable misery and
anguish. I cannot tell you how the experiences of the last
few weeks seem to have made every feeling of joy almost
impossible to me. How little we dream in times of peace
of the indescribable wretchedness which war brings ! God
grant that these sad times may soon come to an end,
though there seems very little prospect of it as yet Yes
terday and to-day we heard constant cannonading on the
island of Alsen. During the short time which has elapsed
since the storming of the entrenchment, a third part of
our wounded have died in horrible agony."
On the 1 2th of May she wrote in greater detail to Per
thes : " Thank you with all myheart ior your letter ; it did
me good, and helped me to look up to God ; for all the
misery which surrounds me has a consoling side, when seen
with His eyes and from whence He dwells. Truly the loud
rejoicings at the taking of the entrenchments find a strange
echo by the bedside of our poor sufferers, who have paid
dearly for the victory with their heart's best blood. How
many of our wounded have died since then — sadly — far
from home and parents, and often too from wife and
O

194 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
children ! And our poor Danes, whose hard lot pains
me deeply — how they suffer whilst they hear the victorious
shouts of the others ! When the ninety-two guns that
we have taken passed our windows, they looked long after
them with tearful eyes; they cannot even share the hope
and joy of the others in the thought of soon recovering,
for recovery to them means going, perhaps, for a long time
into a strange land.
"Yesterday I went to see Countess Groeben, whose
husband, a colonel of Hussars, lies here in Rinkenis,
dangerously ill. She has been obliged, of course, to leave
her little children at home, and I fear that her husband's
illness will terminate fatally. We have already several
cases of typhus in our hospital, and one of my Sisters
has caught it. I sent her off to Rendsburg at once, where
she can be nursed far better and more easily than here, as
there are two hospitals and ten Sisters there. Our doctor
seems to have become a little anxious about us, and in
sisted on our getting into the open air, so we took a long
walk yesterday, as far as the entrenchments of Diippel,
one only of which is now remaining. The Danes took
thirteen years to build them, and three weeks have sufficed
to level them to the ground ! We stood long and with
heavy hearts at the graves of the fallen, where sometimes
twenty, thirty, or forty lie buried together. Large, simple
wooden crosses, with green wreaths, and an inscription to
tell how many rest beneath, are the only indication of
these graves. From the heights the unfortunate little town
of Sonderburg can be seen on the opposite shore ; the
bright red-tiled roofs form a sad contrast to the blackened,
still smouldering houses. There is not one habitable house

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG, 1 95
left in the village of Diippel, and the unfortunate inhabi
tants wander about ¦ destitute and without shelter. How
many times have I wished myself in presence of those
whose watchword is ever ' War ' !
" I cannot say anything about our return home with any
certainty. I ought to go to the Retreat at Nancy, but
they will not hear of us Sisters going away, as they fear
that after a month's armistice the conflict will be renewed
more fiercely than ever. The future, with all its hopes and
wishes, lies in God's hands."
The members of the Orders who had devoted them
selves to nursing, prepared to return with the victorious
troops to Germany in the summer. They had, as the
members of the Order of St. John of Malta reported, " per
formed their hard and often frightful duties in a manner
beyond all praise."
Sister Augustine had not only been a comfort to others,
but the time she had spent in Schleswig, and her expe
riences there, were of the greatest blessing to herself. It
was a period which materially assisted the development of
her character ; her whole nature seemed to have gained
much in firmness, independence, and clearness in the fresh
air of the North. She wrote no more diaries after 1864;
she no longer considered human friendship absolutely neces
sary for her. Her insight into human life, with all its joys
and sorrows, as also into the wonderful combination of
all earthly events, had become more wide and clear ; she
had, as she expressed herself, gone through deep expe
riences. On leaving home, she had been filled with regret
and sadness by the thought that she and her fellow-Sisters
would have to go for months without the accustomed and

196 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
frequent partaking of the Sacrament, and she feared that
such a deprivation would make her spiritually feeble and
languid. On her return home, she tells us that God is not
bound to make His grace everywhere and at all times
dependent on outward symbols, and that, so far from par
ticipation in the Sacrament being an absolute necessity
in every position in life, God can and will richly make
up for every sacrifice we are obliged to make. She
said that she had not once felt the want of the Holy
Communion, nor had she ever felt nearer to God than
during that time.
It greatly refreshed her in the lonely hours of night,
when resting from her work, to sit at the open window
and gaze upon the vast ocean, or, lifting her eyes to the
stars, raise her thoughts above the anxieties and labours
of the day.
By a strange fate, she passed almost directly from
the free existence in Schleswig to the oppressive atmo
sphere of the Parent house at Nancy.
Shortly before leaving Rinkenis, she wrote to Hilgers :
" God knows how much I look forward to being in Bonn
again, but He knows, too, how hard it will be to leave so
soon to go to Nancy. You know all the thoughts with
which it is associated ! I am sure that those too well-
known influences at work there will raise a perfect storm
within me, now that I have learnt to know better things
here in Schleswig-Holstein."
On the 2 1st of June she appeared unexpectedly
among her Sisters in the Bonn hospital, having kept
them in ignorance of the exact time of her arrival.
The joy of all the inhabitants of the house knew no

HOSPITAL WORK IN SCHLESWIG. 1 97
bounds, and she had to submit to a very demonstrative
welcome. She herself, however, felt like many a brave
officer, who finds garrison service dull and tame at the
close of a campaign, and who longs in his heart for a
new war. " I shall soon be in the old routine again,"
she wrote to Frau Cornelius, " but with very different
feelings this time. You cannot think with what longing
I daily look back to my ambulance work, to Schleswig-
Holstein, which has now become so dear to me. Such
really noble people are to be found there, who understand
how to preserve that which is purely human in the highest
sense. I am sure, too, that the unfortunate Danes are not
half as much in the black books of heaven as our hot
headed saints ! And as to the poor shattered soldiers,
whatever country they belong to, I dare hardly tell you
what place they occupy in my heart, else you might feel
inclined to laugh at me. Well, I believe God knows, and
that He will, some time or other, lead me again out of this
well-managed hospital into another field ambulance."

CHAPTER XL
HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA : 1 866.
Sister Augustine's wish for a sphere of labour similar
to that in Schleswig, was to be fulfilled only too soon ; for
in June, 1866, war broke out with Austria. When she and
her Sisters, accompanied by Baron Geyer, reached the
Bohemian frontier, the battles of Nachod and Skalitz and
the storming of Trautenau had taken place, and she found
ample opportunity for rendering assistance.
Completely overcome by the sight of the battle-fields
over which she had passed, she wrote to Hilgers, in almost
illegible characters, from Gitschin : " Unfortunately I can
only write a few hasty lines, but the horrors by which
I am surrounded excuse everything. From Dresden we
went on next morning direct to Turnau, and just as we
were going to take charge of the hospitals there, a telegram
brought us the news of a dreadful battle having taken
place here in Gitschin. Geyer decided at once to move
on with us to join the army, so we set off immediately in
carts. In Niporen (or Libau), an hour distant from this,
our cart was stopped, as fifty to sixty officers and a great
number of soldiers were lying on straw, in the streets and
in the village church, without any assistance. We left half

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 199
of our party behind, and drove on, over the bloody battle
field, arriving here late at night. It is difficult to say how
long we shall remain here. As the army has reached
Josephstadt, we shall soon have to follow it, as there are
none in the surrounding villages capable of rendering assist
ance ; and yet the worst cases cannot be moved, but must
remain where they are.. Please give all my news to my
people, with my love. Thank God, I am quite well, except
swollen feet, which, however, are better to-day. I am
happier than I ever was in my life."
The frightful aspect of the battle-field on the days after
the battle, and the sufferings of the wounded in the hos
pital, often filled her soul with grief and horror ; yet cheer
fulness was the predominant feeling of her heart, lightening
all toil and trouble, and helping her to shake off all sad
impressions. On the 6th of July she was called to the
vicinity of the small town of Nechanitz, where the Castle
of Hradeck had been turned into a large hospital. On the
3rd of July the decisive battle had been fought in that
neighbourhood, which, by command of the King, was
named the battle of Koniggratz.
During the first few days after the battle the misery
was truly terrible, as previous preparations are seldom
sufficient for the need which follows upon a great battle.
The astounding rapidity with which the war progressed
had rendered it quite impossible to have the necessary
help at hand for such unexpected numbers of wounded.
Austria, besides having refused to join the Convention of
Geneva, with inconceivable indifference left the care of her
wounded to the enemy, whose means of assistance were, of
course, insufficient. Within the short time that elapsed

200 N SISTER AUGUSTINE.
between the battles of Nachod, on the 27th of June, and
Koniggratz, on the 3rd of July, no less than sixteen thousand
officers and soldiers had been wounded, and in the next few
weeks six thousand cases of sickness were added to these.
All the churches and buildings of any size in the country
round about were filled with the wounded and the dying.
The inhabitants of the villages had fled into the woods
with all their possessions, and only a few courageous
men remained behind and faced the horrors of those days.
A brave Catholic priest was the most indefatigable of all,
in bringing, to friend and foe alike, spiritual and physical
comfort. The men appointed to bear the wounded from
the field had seen him on the evening of the battle.
Night was coming on, and a tall black figure could be
observed moving to and fro ; sometimes it disappeared as
if the earth had swallowed it, then it was again visible, and
again it vanished. The first impression produced was, that
the figure was one of those ruffians who go about the
battle-field robbing the corpses ; but on approaching, the
soldiers discovered it to be that of a clergyman, who ad
ministered the Sacraments to the dying, and who, in order
to do this in the easiest manner for the sufferers, laid him
self down beside them on the ground. It was the priest
of Problus. The village of his parish had been dread
fully devastated, most of its inhabitants had fled, and the
church and parsonage were filled with the poor and the
wounded. He found no room in his own house, and,
accordingly, he had taken refuge in a barn. It was
in his church that Sister Augusdne first nursed the
wounded, and soon a warm friendship sprang up between
her and this excellent man. She used to say of him.

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 20I
"that he was one of those whose kingdom was not of
this world." He was so unweary in well doing, that she
and her Sisters had to protect the little they possessed
against him, or he would have given that away too.
" When it came to be a matter of giving," she said, " he
lost all idea of mine and thine."
She wrote to the mother of an officer who fell at
Koniggratz : " God knows the comfort it has been to my
heart to find a priest here who has not hidden the real
substance of the Gospel, true Christian charity, under mere
empty externals and cold self-sufficiency."
And none the less warm was the admiration which
Pastor Nowak felt for Sister Augustine. When she left the
country, she gave him her rosary-cross as a remembrance
of their work together, and his joy at the gift was so
great, that he gave directions that after his death the
cross should be buried with him.
Sister Augustine found an enormous amount of work
awaiting her at Hradeck, which at first she had to do
almost alone. In the large riding school of the castle
eighty severely wounded soldiers lay side by side on the
scanty straw, which had been brought from the bivouacs
forsaken by the Saxon and Austrian armies. This part
of the hospital, as presenting the greatest difficulties, was
chosen by her on her arrival, as the sphere of her labours,
and for weeks the whole of the nursing was done there by
her, only assisted by one or two military attendants. One
of the physicians who was constantly with her at that time.
Professor Busch of Bonn, wrote: "Whoever has experienced
the physical exertion of attending wounded men from morn
ing to night, having constantly to remain in a kneeling

202 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
posture on straw, can estimate the value of her labours,
not to mention the emotions through which a sensitive
nature passes in witnessing so much misery." Count J.
B  , one of the Knights of St. John, describes her as
"a real support, comfort, and help, an example of self-
sacrifice, a clever nurse, wise, tender, full of tact in every
vvay." Whilst she was employed in nursing all day long, she
employed the night hours in washing and repairing the
soldiers clothes and bandages. She seemed to require
no rest herself ; yet it was only her rare strength of mind
which supported her, for her over-exertions at that time
laid the foundation to a complaint which began to under
mine her constitution. The following letters, in which she
describes her experiences, are dated from the castle of
Hradeck. She wrote to her brother Hermann: "You
cannot picture to yourself the beauty and loveliness of our
castle j that of Coblenz is a mere empty nutshell in com
parison. Everywhere in the surrounding woods you are
met by dozens of the finest deer. The indescribable misery
now reigning within these walls seems to mock at earthly
splendour, and dispels all sense of joy."
"I hope," she wrote to Hilgers, "that my letter from
Gitschin has reached you by this time ; I do not feel so
sure that you will get this. I am here in a lonely
hunting-lodge of Count Harrach, six hours distant from
Horzitz. More than a thousand poor crippled men, who
were unable to be removed, fill all the barns and churches
for miles around the castle. Here alone we have more
than four hundred. On Wednesday I received the fol
lowing telegram at Gitschin : — ' Fraulein Lasaulx to

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 203
come at once to the Surgeon-General Busch at Hradeck.'
Accordingly, our staff-surgeon packed me and Sister Leo-
poldine without delay into a carriage, and setting off
immediately after dinner, we reached this about nine,
where Professor Busch received us. The luxury by which
we are surrounded forms a frightful contrast to the anguish
and misery of the poor wounded, who fill every corner of
the castle, from the garret down to the riding-school. Most
of them lie on straw, their wounds festering for want of
attention. It is known that these unfortunate men have
lain four and six days on the field, after the battle, with
out nourishment, and the day before yesterday a new con-
vOy of wounded soldiers arrived, who had been discovered
in the wood, a whole week after the fight, in a state which
passes description. In three or four weeks death will in
all probability have released them from their torments.
The others will by that time, perhaps, have so far re
covered, that we shall be able to go to Prague or Vienna
with them. It is very hard for me, especially in so dread
ful a time as the present, to be without news from my
friends ; but this is one of the sacrifices by which I have
the satisfaction of bringing comfort and relief to so many
— a privilege for which I can never be too thankful to God.
Please tell the Mendelssohns, Perthes, and other friends
all that you think would interest them, with my kindest
remembrances, for I cannot possibly write to them myself
Perthes' poor sister, alas ! followed her son this morning
from the castle to the churchyard. I had not seen
him, for I got my place at once assigned to me in the
riding-school, where there are more than eighty wounded.
Accordingly the officers were given into the charge of

204 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
some Franciscan Sisters from Nonnenwerth. And now
a hasty adieu ! I had to rest my feet, which give me much
pain, and thus it is that I have been able to write you so
long a letter."
A few days later, she wrote : " The political horizon
begins to look brighter — indeed, even peaceful. God
grant it may continue so ! The price paid in human lives
and domestic happiness has been large enough, as we
inmates of the hospital are daily able to testify. Death
has been thinning the ranks to a fearful degree, not only
by shot and shell, but also by cholera, which, even now, is
carrying off innumerable victims in this neighbourhood.
All the Sisters from Prague were summoned to Briinn to
take charge of the cholera cases in the army. It has
entered the castle here twice, but all recovered, and, thank
God, no new cases have occurred. You can have no idea
of the delicious forest air we have here, which has driven
away all my breathlessness, and has made me feel better
than I have done for many years. You would be pleased
to see my good looks ; the air, though, does not seem
much to benefit our poor wounded, probably because they
have suffered so fearfully before coming here. However,
the generosity of my dear friends  has assisted many,
and we have been able to make many additions to the
meagre hospital fare, which of itself would give the poor
people but little support The day before yesterday I
went on foot to the little town of Nechanitz, to call on
Major von Hymmen from Cologne, who is rather severely
wounded ; his wife has arrived, and is in much distress.
They both wept for joy when I offered that I and my
ellow-Sister should take them under our protection on

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 205
their journey home, and take care of the sufferer; but I fear
he will have to remain here longer than we. The physicans
hope that in two or three weeks the Prussian wounded
may be able to be moved ; the Austrians and Saxons
would then be given in charge of Austrian physicians.
God grant it may be so ! I cannot quite believe it yet,
as all around looks so sad. The large church in Nechanitz
is still quite full of wounded ; the same is the case in
Milovitsch and Horzitz."
In a letter to another she says, " A thousand thanks for
both your and your husband's letter, which gave me all the
more pleasure that I felt undeserving of it, for I have
as yet only been able to give you indirect news. To
day I happen to be confined to my room, so I think
I cannot do better than have a few words with you.
True, our conversation can hardly be a cheerful one, as
our thoughts and sympathies cannot turn away from the
numbers of poor wounded who fill the countless hospitals
of this beautifully wooded country, surrounded by the
poor half-civihzed Bohemians, who seem almost to belong
to a past century. The battle of Koniggratz is said to
have been the most bloody of modern times ; countless
numbers lie buried on the battle-field, and how many
have since then been struggling between life and death !
I cannot understand who is to be blamed, that the poor
wounded lay so long (four, six, and even eight days) on the
field of battle, without meat or drink ; I only know the
fact that many have died, more from want of food and
nursing than from their wounds. The inmates of the
hospitals in this neighbourhood are to be brought to us,
as both the situation and the rooms of this castle are so

206 ' SISTER AUGUSTINE.
very healthy, and in order that they may be under the
excellent treatment of our able Professor Busch. Our
hospital arrangements are- much improved by this time ;
the greater part of our patients have got strong mattresses,
though not beds, and we have got a greater supply of
shirts and bandages, of which we require so many every
day. The anxiety which weighs heaviest on my heart
is, how to get nourishment for those who are exhausted.
The bread which is to be sent to the hospitals is probably
packed while still hot, and is often very mouldy. A
healthy person, if hungry, would perhaps not mind eating
it, but a poor wounded man, faint from loss of blood,
raises it to his mouth, and then, with tears in his eyes, he
quietly lays it down again and tries to bear his hunger
a little longer. This I saw daily and hourly, till I could
stand it no more. Your kindness has happily enabled me
in many cases to supply the want Every morning I give
a roll to each, of which I get three for a penny, and in the
afternoon I go round with the butter-dish, cutting away
the mould from each piece of bread, and spreading it with
butter. I wish you could see how gratefully and eagerly
the poor fellows stretch out their hands for it! For the
last two days we have run completely short of bread,
occasioning no small consternation. However, thanks to
ypur kind gift, I sent to Nechanitz to buy some, and have
distributed to-day two hundred slices of bread-and-butter,
which were hailed with great delight. ' Now we need not
go to sleep hungry,' they said. 'May God reward our
kind benefactors of the Rhine ! ' Yes, indeed, thought I,
and may God bring me safe home again, to thank you
personally from us all, for your great love and kindness."

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 207
To Frau Cornelius Sister Augustine wrote : " I cannot
ask you to pay me a visit here, where all misery, anguish,
and torment meet The description which you have read of
our hospital in the castle may have faithfully pictured the
sad scenes by which I am surrounded, yet it would give you
no idea of the mental sufferings of these unhappy people.
May God comfort the many parents whose sons and
relations lie buried here, after passing their last days
in unspeakable agony ! "
In a letter of July 26th to Perthes, she says, " Though
I have not yet written a syllable to you, my thoughts
have been with you, and not without anxiety for your own
health and that of your family. I have not met your
sons, thank God, among the numbers of my sad flock, but
unfortunately your poor nephew belonged to it. Your
good sister will probably have told you what a trial awaited
her here, and how she had to follow him who was dearest
to her to the churchyard. I was much moved to see how
the mother's heart strove for strength and resignation to
the will of God. May God comfort her and all near and
dear to the departed ! "
On the same day she wrote to Hilgers : " May God
reward you for the joy and comfort which your letters
brought me ! It was the iirst sign of sympathy from
that small circle I love so much. I had hardly dared to
hope for it, as in our castle in the wood we are almost
entirely cut off from the rest of the world. But I, for my
part, am glad of this, as it keeps me out of the way of
the "hot-headed saints." Even Treves and Nancy cannot
easily find us out. The dense woods which closely sur
round this castle are filled with countless tame deer. This

208 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
would delight you, were it not for the unspeakable moral
and physical misery which is under this roof Alas ! death
has reaped a large harvest during these few weeks, and will
yet carry many away to that land where all sorrows cease.
Strange to say, we Sisters have not yet heard one single
word of bitter or unchristian complaint from these un
happy men. Perhaps this may be occasioned by dulness
in the many non-Germanic races of Austria ; but in the
cases of the Prussians, Saxons, and Austrians, particularly
among the great numbers of officers, the reason is un
doubtedly due to moral greatness. Many familiar names
are among the latter. Count Hompesch, whose grand
mother lives at Bonn, died here a month ago. Prince
Hohenlohe, a cousin of the Cardinal, is dangerously
wounded in the breast Yesterday his wife and aunt
arrived ; their grief cut me to the heart Count Erbach
and young Bismarck, a nephew of the Minister, are also
here, dangerously wounded. I take as little share as
possible in nursing them, as of course they are better
cared for than my poor men in the riding-school and
in the passages of the house, who are left alone in their
torments." The enthusiasm with which these poor men rewarded
her for her unwearied love was expressed in many a touch
ing trait A wounded Italian, whom she had long nursed,
but who nevertheless died of his wounds, one day ex
pressed great impatience to see her ; he said he felt himself
to be dying, and wished to tell her something before he
died. When she came, he looked at her with deep feeling,
and summoning up his last strength, he said, "When
Sorella dies — immediately with Jesus!" On her telling

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 209
him by a sign that she had understood him, he clapped his
hands, while an expression of great joy passed over his face.
He died immediately afterwards. Sister Augustine felt
deeply affected by his last words.
Towards the end of July cholera broke out in various
places in the neighbourhood. Sister Augustine thus refers
to it : "I must explain why I write so long a letter. In
Benatck, where the great number of corpses had only one
foot of earth above them, a putrid odour spread with such
rapidity, that the Franciscan Sisters from Nonnenwerth and
all their assistants had to leave at once. Unfortunately two
of the Sisters took cholera and died a day or two after.
They have it also at Neu Bidschow, two hours' distance
from us. We have not got it here yet, thank God, although
we have some cases of dysentery. This troublesome guest
attacked me last night, and I think it my duty to keep
quiet in my room to-day, letting Sister Leopoldine take
my place, so that I may be quite fresh again to-morrow.
Don't be anxious about me, for until now I have been
much stronger and better in this forest than I ever am at
Bonn. If the rulers make peace, then we shall soon be
home again ! "
On the 26th of July the truce of Nikolsburg was
signed, followed, on the 23rd of August, by the peace of
Prague. Sister Augustine hailed this news with great
joy. She wrote to her cousin Julia : " It often made my
heart tremble, to think of the possibility of the neighbour
hood of Vienna becoming a battle-field, and accordingly I
felt doubly relieved when peace was signed. However, the
labours of the Prussian ambulance committee in Bohemia
still continued for some weeks longer."

2IO SISTER AUGUSTINE.
On the 22nd of August she wrote : " The period of
my return is again quite uncertain. On the one hand, our
hospital authorities are not sure whether the Austrian phy
sicians will take charge of our hospitals, nor when that will
be, so that we can be dismissed. On the other hand,
they are afraid of letting us Sisters go away, for fear of
having to remain behind alone, with the sole charge of
the wounded. So we daily hope for decisive news, and then
we can start at once. You should have seen and heard
the excitement of our wounded Austrians, one and all,
when they heard that the Austrian doctors were to come
and take charge of them ! Every one had some parti
cular reason to give for his aversion to them, for the
most part charging the Austrian authorities with great
coarseness and want of all religious training. It is almost
a good thing that our hot-headed saints are not ashamed
of their vexation and sorrow at the loss of that deeply
corrupted empire, since they thus show themselves in their
true colours to the eyes of all people of education.
Though I am not sure whether things will be better with
us in future, still I comfort myself with the firm conviction
that, in case of Austria having been victorious, we should
rapidly have approached the ruin of all that is noble and
good." The words of the King, " The day of Koniggratz has
cost us heavy sacrifices, but it is a day of honour to the
whole army, on whom the Fatherland gazes with pride and
admiration," found a loud response in Sister Augustine's
heart. Although her care and sympathy was given in
equal degree to all the wounded soldiers under her charge,
yet her heart exulted at every victory of the Prussian arms,

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 2 1 I
and she was proud of her Prussian fatherland and of her
King. She was deeply indignant on hearing how different
in part was the feeling in her home on the Rhine — how
many people wished that Prussia had been defeated, and
that, in some circles, benevolence turned exclusively to the
Austrian wounded.
During the last days of her stay at Hradeck, the
decrease of work enabled her to visit the environs.
" Yesterday," she wrote, " I went to the cottage where the
unfortunate hero Benedek spent the night- before the
battle. I ascended the table-land of Chlum, where the
Austrian army had been so advantageously entrenched,
at a good pace, and without being at all breathless, so
well and happy am I. You will have difficulty in taming
your 'filly'!"
One day, on hei; way to a neighbouring hospital, she
felt so well and merry in her forest solitude, that, forgetting
her position, her age, and the decorum belonging to it, she
kept running and jumping over heaps of stones that lay
by the roadside, till peals of laughter behind her caused
her to look round. There she saw, with consternation, a
troop of soldiers marching along, and evidently greatly
amused at the sight of the merry Sister of Charity,
Another time, when driving with several of her Sisters to
some distant place in a transport waggon, she kindly in
vited a traveller, who was plodding along the dusty road,
to mount beside them. As they drove along, she repeated
the breviary with her Sisters, and so she never noticed,
till the deed was done, that the stranger, a young artist,
had hastily made a sketch of them all. On receiving a
copy of the picture, which had been lithographed, through

212 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
Professor Binz, one of the physicians, she laughingly told
how " unsuspiciously she had, out of pity, invited the rogue
into her cart, little thinking he would si ily take her likeness."
In September she returned from Bohemia by way of
Prague and Dresden, greatly refreshed and strengthened
in spirit. " The impressions received here during the past two
months," she wrote, with reference to her stay at Hradeck,
" have been very painful, but they will be a blessing to my
whole after life."
Melancholy reminiscences of that time are found in a
letter written by her, shortly after her return home, to an
acquaintance, who had sought for information from her
on behalf of the mother of an Austrian office'r, Prince
Salm, who had fallen : " It always gives me pleasure
to get a message from any one for whom I have a high
respect, and your lines would have done the same, had
their contents not been so sad, recalling to my mind the
most dreadful experiences of my life. Would that it were
in my power to give that distressed mother any cheering
accounts of her poor unhappy son, whose disappearance
must indeed cause a mother's heart the deepest anguish.
Neither I nor any acquaintances of mine had anything
to do with a hospital at Nachod, and none of the phy
sicians or officers to whom I have spoken on the subject
within the last few days, could tell me anything, but
only advised that the mother of the unfortunate prince
should write to General von Steinmetz, in Breslau, or to
the Chief of Staff, Colonel von Sperling. The latter
had, with Steinmetz, led the Prussian army at Nachod.
According to an official report, the battle was quite as

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 21 3
bloody a one as that of Koniggratz, only that in the
latter a greater number of troops were engaged. The
Prussians, as is well known, so rapidly took possession
of the field, that the Austrians could only remove a very
small number of their killed and wounded. Had the poor
prince fallen into Prussian hands, either wounded or as a
prisoner, he never could have totally disappeared, for the
hospital lists are kept with great exactitude. It is diffi
cult to understand how impossible it is to recognize even
nearest relatives without having been personally on the field
of battle, so frightful is the disfigurement produced by a
shot through the head or breast. The effusion of blood
which follows, and the earth which the balls fling up, com
pletely deface the uniforms, so that much time and research
is necessary in order to distinguish between officers and men.
Moreover, the dead bodies were plundered by wandering
bands (and even by soldiers of both nations), so that no
articles of any value were left upon the corpses. During
the first week or two after the battle, many persons from
Austria and Saxony came to us at Chlum and Problus, wish
ing to take the corpses of their relations home with them ;
but these had become so shockingly disfigured, that few
were fortunate enough to recognize their friends in the
large graves, which as yet had but two feet of earth upon '
them. I repeat, those only who were personally on the
scene of action during those bloody days, will without
difficulty understand how the unfortunate prince could find
a grave, nameless and unknown, and without a single living
person being able to give any authentic information about
him. The unspeakable anguish and suffering which I
witnessed among the innumerable wounded in those days,

214 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
in a way comforted me and made me feel almost thankful on
seeing those carried to the grave who had escaped prolonged
agony by a quick death. Doubtless the good prince now
looks down from above as a conqueror, upon his faithful
mother, still in the midst of this world's conflict, and whom
God alone can comfort in her affliction. I shall often be
near her in prayer, as I am with those unhappy sufferers to
whom I was permitted to give my help and pity."
Sister Augustine had returned to Bonn in a state of so
much physical suffering, that she gave up all hope of re
covery. Grave thoughts of approaching death began to
occupy her mind, all the more so as in the course of the
two following years many painful gaps were made in the
circle of "those she loved." Her friend Perthes had long
been very ill, and with deep sorrow she saw that his life
was fast approaching its close. The calmness and confidence
with which he, who through all his life had been a prey
to the most intense fear of death, now saw his last hour
approach, could not fail to make a deep impression on
Sister Augustine, as on all his friends. That power of
Christian faith, which robs even death of its bitterness, was
clearly evident in him during his last days. On the 14th of
November she wrote to Professor Mendelssohn : " Oh that
God would still long preserve our excellent Perthes ! He
knows what a boon it would be to all of us ; but truly our
ways and thoughts are not always His." Towards the even
ing of the following day Sister Augustine saw her friend
for the last time. He could not rise to welcome her ; and,
pointing sadly to his swollen feet, he said, "That is now
my only occupation " — meaning patience in suffering.
" I found Perthes very ill, sitting in his armchair," she wrote

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMIA. 215
to Frau Cornelius. " Poor man ! he is suffering from dropsy
now, in consequence of heart disease. He himself is quite
composed in view of his approaching death ; but his friends,
and I amongst them, are not so. I cannot tell you what a
trial it is to me to lose him. How few people there are of
so much real worth ! "
On the 25th of November, 1867, Perthes died. Sister
Augustine knew but too well that the gap occasioned
by his death in the circle of her friends could never be
filled up.
About the same time, too, she lost several of her nearest
relations, to whom her heart clung with warm affection.
Her father's three sisters died within a few years of each
other. She particularly mourned the one who was her
godmother, of whom she says in one of her letters, that
"her loving and excellent disposition had from childhood
inspired her with the deepest affection, and that by her
death she had lost a second mother."
In January, 1866, her own sister Hildegard died, and in
August, 1868, she lost her brother Hermann, who had lived
in Bonn since 1855. He had long been consumptive, but
had kept up by dint of wonderful strerigth of mind. He
often pained his sister by the proud manner in which he
rejected, as long as possible, her care and nursing. Some
times he would not come near the hospital for months
together, though dearly loving his sister. In the summer
of 1868 his complaint forced him to keep to his bed, and
she succeeded in persuading him to come to the hospital
for a few weeks. She observed, in writing to a cousin,
that " he appeared, after all, to find more comfort in being
nursed by her than in his bachelor existence, but that

2l6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
she feared he would escape from her as soon as he got
a httle better." Her brother recovered temporarily, so
as to be able to return to his own lodging, but he soon
became worse again. Sister Augustine visited him day
by day, to see that he was properly nursed, and she was
with him when he died. It was on the 2nd of August,
just as the university of Bonn was celebrating its jubilee,
and a gay procession, with bands of music, was passing
along the streets. He tried eagerly to catch the sound of
the music that was wafted from a distance. His sister
begged him not to let himself be disturbed by it, but rather
to try to go to sleep. He replied, " Yes, indeed, I am a
fool to be still listening to music ! " Then, looking at her
once more with indescribable affection, he closed his eyes, to
open them no more on earth.
In deep emotion she wrote to her niece at Munich : " I
have just returned from Hermann's lodgings, after receiving
the last pressure of his hand and a remembrance to you.
• . . I fancied myself stronger, but my strength seems
broken. Pray for him and me ! " " Now I am quite
alone ! " she said to a relation who next day came to
comfort her. In her loneliness she felt a strong longing
for her sister Clementine, although she had been at Bonn
shortly before her brother's death, and though that meeting
had not been a pleasant one. By urging the most pressing
reasons. Sister Augustine succeeded in obtaining the per
mission of the ecclesiastical authorities at the Luxemburg
convent to allow her sister to again make the journey. The
meeting had not the desired result, for the intercourse with
her sister afforded her no comfort ; she felt rather more
than ever, that death is neither the only nor the worst form

HOSPITAL WORK IN BOHEMLV. 217
of separation. To a friend she said at that time that she
felt as if her father's house were about to become extinct,
and that she was the last of her race.
"My good faithful friend !" she at that time wrote to
Professor Mendelssohn. " You have always shown yourself
as such to me, more particularly in times of affliction, and
may God reward you for that sympathy, which always has
done my heart so much good ! Although the pecuhar cir
cumstances in which my brother was placed tended to
alleviate my sorrow for his death, still I mourn the loss of
a brother, the only one left to me. I always looked upon
him as a trust left me by my departed parents, of which I
had the care."
In a letter of August i8th to her friend B. Th  , she
says, " I was sure that your sympathy would be with me
during those saddest and most painful hours of my life, and
spiritual communion does take away the sharpest sting of
separation. Yes, dear friend, God alone knows what I felt,
as I held my brother's cold hands in mine, and looked into
his dimming eye. How difficult and yet how easy a thing
it is to die, and how little we understand life, ever putting
obstacles in the way of a happy, joyous faith in God ! A
few weeks ago my poor brother was in much distress
about his not belonging to the Church ; then, at his own
wish, he partook of the holy Sacraments, and from that
time he became calm, without, however, allowing me any
insight into his soul. But I trust that he is happy now, and
that comforts me. Besides, I had the consolation of being
able to help and comfort the poor sufferer a good deal
during the last years of his illness, a privilege which seldom
falls to the share of nuns."

2X8 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
To her cousin in Vienna she wrote : " Now, dear Julia,
we have both of us seen our parents, brothers, and sisters
laid in their graves, and have carried back with us into
every-day life the oppressive sense of our loneliness.
Those only who have made the same experience know how
long and hot the conflict is, when death makes new gaps in
our narrow circles, thus narrowing them still more. The
power of religion alone can help us to look beyond the
grave, up to where our dear friends have found that lasting
happiness and peace which they and all of us have sought
for in vain throughout life."

CHAPTER XII.
ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS: 1 868, UNTIL SUMMER OF 1870.
The spiritual power of the Vatican had gradually reached
such a height as it had hardly ever before attained, even
in the Middle Ages, the most brilliant times of its history.
The profound reverence everywhere entertained by the
Catholics for the person of the Pope gave to his deeds and
utterances a value that excluded either prejudices or con
tradiction. The old tradition of the curia — that the Pope
is the possessor of the highest and most unlimited juris
diction over the whole of Christendom, and the sole
possessor of the infallibility bequeathed by Christ to His
Church — had, in numberless cases during the last de-
cennia, been brought practically forward, without finding
any serious opposition. Among the majority of Catholics,
the feeling was that such a position of affairs was neither
oppressive nor indefensible ; on the contrary, quite justi
fiable, and, as contrasted with the confusion and want of
authority prevalent in the Protestant Church, worthy of
the greatest admiration.
The time had seemed to have come when Rome could
decide in her own favour the old controversy as to the
only justifiable form of Church government, based on the

220 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
words of Christ, over which, and with varying fortune —
sometimes openly, sometimes in secret — a conflict of
opinions had been maintained for centuries.
The Pope's intention of calling a general Council, ex
pressed towards the close of 1864, found favour, although
not unconditional favour, with the great majority of the
Cardinals residing in Rome, and the Bishops, whose opinion
had been consulted. Three years later, when nearly five
hundred Bishops were in Rome, on the occasion of the
celebration of the eighteenth Centenary of St, Peter, invi
tations to the Council were issued. This assembly, in the
summer of 1867, was the last of a series of acts intended
to prepare the Bishops for the time when they should
give their final decision. One of their number — Cardinal
Manning, of Westminster — tells us that it was in reality
the events of 1854 and 1862, but still more the celebration
of the Centenary of St. Peter, which brought the doctrine
of the Papal Infallibility prominently forward, roused the
minds of the Bishops to its importance, and decided many
to use their endeavours to bring matters to a final issue.
From the expressions used, as we gather from the
writings published on that occasion in Rome, it is unde
niably to be inferred that the purpose of the Council was no
other than to define the doctrine of the Papal Infallibility
as a fundamental truth of divine revelation, and to establish
it firmly for all future time.
In Germany opinions were divided with regard to the
impending Council, The Catholic population in general
looked on calmly and almost indifferently. Without being
exactly convinced as to the necessity or the practical end
to be served' by this assembly, they yet held firmly to the

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS, 221
belief that the Pope and the Bishops best knew the most
pressing wants of the Church. The comparatively few who
had followed the ecclesiastical events of the past years
with any actual attention, looked with ever-increasing
anxiety and dark forebodings into the immediate future ;
but, removed from all practical life, they had little influence
on the people. The numerous Romish party, on the con
trary, hailed the Council with delight, anticipating from it the
fulfilment of their wildest hopes. In the general assembly
of the Catholic Union, held in Bamberg in 1868, these
hopes were expressed in the following words : — " Either
the salvation of the world will come from the Council, or
the world cannot be saved." Several of the Protestant
theologians shared these sanguine expectations, in so far
as to trust that substantial progress would be made
towards a union of the different confessions. However, the
Protestants in general, and the greater part of the in
different Catholics, who had long been str njers to Church
life, anticipated the Council with perfect unconcern, or only
with the faint interest which is bestowed on an historical
occurrence in distant parts.
The Pope's public appeal, on the occasion of the Council,
to Christians of other confessions to return to the unity of
the Church, i.e. to submit to Rome, had partly met with a
decided refusal from the Protestants, as "an unauthorized
encroachment upon their Church," and had partly been
simply ignored by them as a mere " specimen of the
epistolary style of the curia." On the other hand, the
Patriarchs and Bishops of the Greek Church replied by
altogether denying the right of the Pope to assemble a
general Council without their consent. They observed that

222 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
the seven first Councils had alone been valid, and that,
accordingly, these alone pointed out the right means of
bringing about the union of the two Churches.
The reduction of the Papal Infallibility to dogma had
not yet been declared in Rome as a proposition to be laid
before the Council ; nevertheless, it was remarked by
several, that not only would this dogma be found among the
questions to be dealt with, but that it was the one reason
why the Bishops had been summoned together. This
suspicion rose to a certainty when, on the assembly of the
preparatory commission in the winter of 1868-69, the Ger
man theologians then in Rome reported that the doctrine
of the Infallibility was actually among the propositions to
be laid before the Council.
The whole plan of the Council was given to the world
on the 6th of February, 1869, by the Civiltd. Cattolica,
and in March by the Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung.
This disclosure caused great excitement, not only in the
learned world in Germany, but in all grades of society,
which were at last raised up from confident or careless
indifference. Many discovered now, for the first time, the
distinction between tolerating the absolute and sole rule
of the Pope as it actually existed, having little Or nothing
to do with the individual in practical life, and the reception
of this rule as an article of faith revealed by Christ — indeed,
as the basis of all other articles of faith.
By an accident, fortunate for the plans of the Vatican,
the Pope's jubilee fell in the spring of this year. It was
celebrated with great splendour in the Rhineland, and the
loud jubiladons of the Romish party, in which most of
the other Catholics honestly and joyfully shared, drowned

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 223
the isolated voices which were raised in warning. This
celebration, held simultaneously over the whole globe,
brought back the idea of the Catholic unity, with all its
indescribable charm.
The nearer the time drew for the Council, the bolder
the Civiltd, Cattolica became in proclaiming that it was
the wish of " the great majority of the faithful " that the
doctrines on the Syllabus, together with the Papal Infalli
bility, should be proclaimed and held fast, and that all
Catholics would hail the latter with joy. In presence of
such assertions, a number of men in the German dioceses
regarded it as their duty likewise to raise their voice and
decidedly to protest against these wishes. They drew up
addresses, and presented them to their Bishops, in order
to express to them their convictions and wishes, before
they should set out on their fatal journey.
The beginning was made by the so-called address of
the Coblenz laity, which was the first step of open united
action in the matter of the Council. The address was
composed by Dr. Stumpf, of Coblenz,* and, after being
submitted to Cornelius, Kampfschulte, and Reusch, was
revised and sent to the Bishops of Treves and Cologne.
It besought the Bishops not to fall in with the ideas which
the Civiltd Cattolica falsely described as the ardent wish
of all Catholic Christendom, but rather to direct their
energy to the actual wants of the age : " In trying to free
the Church from the power of the State, to restore the
independent and yet harmonious movement of the two
working laws under which, by divine decree, human life
* One of the head-masters of the gymnasium at Coblenz, and one who
took a prominent part in the Old Catholic movement.

224 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
must unfold itself, to settle definitely the-share the faithful
are to be allowed to take in the formation of ecclesiastical
institutions affecting the relations of every-day life, to
bring back brethren to the Church who are separated from
it ; — to suppress social evils, and to find the true position of
the clergy and of private individuals with regard to general
culture and science. In trying to accomplish these duties,
which embrace ecclesiastical life in its widest sense, the
present age is spending its strength, and it looks with
earnest expectancy for help and assistance in their solution
from the approaching Council, which is led by the Holy
Ghost, and summoned according to the wishes of the whole
Church." In the address it was further wished that the spiritual
life of the Church might be revived by the re-introduction
of national, provincial, and diocesan Synods, and that the
Council should declare that the Catholic Church "aban
doned the desire ever to restore the theocratical polity of
the Middle Ages." In closing, the subscribers emphatically
asserted that they wished "to live and die as loyal sons
of the Church, in union with her centre, Rome."
The Archbishop of Cologne replied coldly and evasively,
taking special notice only of the closing words of the
address, in reference to which he expressed himself as
justified in pre-supposing that the subscribers, "whatever
their own views and wishes might be, would faithfully
and humbly submit to and respect the decisions of the
Council, as the mind of the Holy Spirit"
The address was more warmly received by those of a
like mind in other lands, than it had been by the Bishops.
" I can hardly tell you," Montalembert wrote in Julyj " how

ecgle;siastical events. 225
much I was moved and rejoiced by this glorious manifesta
tion of Catholic conscience and reason. It seems like a ray
of light in the midst of the darkness, and at last I seemed
to hear one manly Christian word amid the declamations
and flatteries by which we are deafened," etc.
In another letter he says, "To-day it is from the
Rhine that light comes to us. Germany has been chosen
to put up a barrier against the torrent of servile fanaticism,
which threatened to swallow up every thing."
In order to keep herself thoroughly conversant with the
course of ecclesiastical events. Sister Augustine took in
the Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung, in conjunction with
the pastor ofthe " Minorite-Kirche " and Professor Hilgers,
whilst the news occasionally received from Munich she
communicated forthwith to her friends at Bonn. All her
thoughts and feelings at that time, in so far as they were
not taken up with the duties of her calling, were devoted
to the future fate of her Church, and she was full of much
anxiety and the darkest forebodings. The strength and
liveliness of her thoughts and feelings were manifested in
her letters to her most intimate friends.
Writing to Professor Cornelius on August 23, 1869,
she says, "This time I have been longer than usual in
expressing to you the thanks which I always heartily
feel whenever a letter or a book comes from you. In
such a dreary time, or rather one so destitute of inspiriting
events, I always come back with eager hunger to this,
and rejoice that I can there find the echo of a better
and nobler world. What you tell me of Rome, and of
the condition of matters there, agrees with the harmony
which has its origin in the infernal world, and finds its
Q

226 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
home in Rome, It is well that God does not desire us to
long for such a home. I have read Michelis' 'Papal
Infallibility ' with hearty enjoyment, and the pamphlet of
Liano, which you were good enough to send me, and which
has met with so much acceptance from the really piously
disposed minds. The articles in the Augsburger Allgemeine
Zeitung oi the 19th, 20th, and 21st of August, are first-rate,
especially the last one, which gives a glimpse into the
abyss, on the very brink of which we are standing. Here
on the Rhine we are nearly in despair, and consider it as
a judgment of God, which must come and bring unspeak
able miseiy along with it You are quite right to betake
yourself for once to the clouds ; down here in the valley
it is dismal enough. If my noble calling, which I so much
love, did not keep me a prisoner here, I should have cer
tainly set up my habitation on some mountain top."
In order to calm the excitement in the dioceses, the
Bishops assembled in September, 1869, in Fulda, from
whence they sent a memorial to the Pope, praying that the
theory of the Papal Infallibility should not be included in the
propositions to be laid before the Council. At the same time,
they directed a pastoral letter to the faithful, in which they
solemnly promised to abide by the following propositions
at the Council : — First, "The Council will establish no new
precepts, or other than those which by faith and conscience
are already written in all your hearts ;" secondly, "Never will
or can a general Council give forth any new doctrine which
is not already contained in Scripture or in Apostolic tra
dition ; " thirdly, " The old and original truths will only
be placed in a clearer light." These assurances were only
partially successful in removing anxiety, and many Catholics

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 227
deeply interested in the prosperity of the Church, thought
of the future with a heavy heart.
In November, 1 869, Sister Augustine writes : " Here, in
the diocese of Cologne, it is doubly difficult for us to hope
for a favourable issue to the Council ; every ray of light is
extinguished by the action of the Archbishop and the
Jesuits. In Cologne, P. Rive, a Jesuit, lately asserted
openly, in a sermon, that whoever did not believe in the
Papal Infallibility was guilty of a deadly sin."
During the months preceding the assembly of the
Council, a hot literary discussion arose on the question of
the Infallibility, in which even the Bishops tookj part ;
Manning, Archbishop of Westminster, Dechamps, Arch
bishop of Malines, and Fessler, Bishop of St Polten,
defended it, whilst Dupanloup, Bishop of Orleans, and
Maret, Bishop of Lara, i. p., and Dean of the Sorbonne,
opposed it Among the enormous mass of writings then
published on the question, the most remarkable were,
perhaps, Ja^s's "Pope and Council," Dollinger's "Con
siderations for the Bishops of the Council on the Ques
tion of the Papal Infallibility," and " The Reform of the
Head and Members of the Roman Catholic Church," by
Ginzel, Canon in Leitmeritz.
In another letter in November, 1869, she writes to Pro
fessor Cornelius : " My best thanks for the pamphlets and
your commentary on them. I am just now reading James's,
and will afterwards attack the pamphlets, which I have in
the meantime lent to Hilgers and Langen. Hilgers is
quite delighted with the style and contents, and thinks it
,is the best that has yet been written on the subject He
gave the same opinion some weeks ago on James's. I

228 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
have not yet read ' Reform in Head and Members,' and
will be very grateful if you can send it me. Will the
German Bishops be really capable of accomplishing all
they resolved on in Fulda .' I can hardly believe it No
doubt the salt has long ago lost its savour ; to read the
pastoral letters is enough to make me sick. God must
first entirely renew the soil of the Church before anything
can grow and bloom on it. We in the cloisters are well
looked after, so that no discord in the Roman sanctus can
arise from us. Whenever a new devotional exercise is
brought us, I almost shudder as I ask. Where is all this to
end .' "
Towards the close of November the Bishops prepared
for their journey. Cardinal Schwartzenberg was very
anxious that Dollinger should be present in Rome, and
several times proposed to take him with him as his theo
logical adviser. Dollinger however refused, perhaps be
cause he considered his presence in Germany more needful
and more beneficial to the Church than an evidently useless
stay in Rome, or perhaps he feared the journey and the
climate of Rome would be too much for him. Montalem
bert had implored him in the most earnest manner to
accept the Cardinal's proposition, and use the whole weight
of his theological reputation and personal influence against
the adoption of the dogma of the Infallibility.
Montalembert, who in former times had zealously fought
to free the Church from the power of the State, had, since
the year 1852, in accordance with the views of the Arch
bishop of Paris, devoted all his strength to resist the en
croachments of Papal power ; and it grieved him that, just
at the time when that conflict had reached its height, he

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS.

229

should be slowly approaching death. " I have entered my
coffin alive,'' he wrote to Dollinger, " but the lid has not
been closed yet. From hence I look on, with the dis
interestedness and impartiality of the dead, on what is
going on in the world, and I can speak with the authority
of the dead to those who will listen to me. I assure you,
if I saw any way for a layman such as I being admitted to
the Council, nothing would hold me back. Wretchedly ill
as I am, I would try to drag myself to Rome, perhaps only
to perish by the way ; and, should I get there, I would not
be allowed to speak. Yet I should go, if but to protest by
my presence, by ' the sad yet bold look ' of which Bossuet
speaks, against the vileness which is on the point of being
produced, and which has a chance of triumphing. As for
me, I am nobody, and never have been anything in the
Church ; but you, who are incontestably the first man in
the Church of Germany — how could you decline the mission
of defending her in this formidable crisis ? "
On the 28th of November, Sister Augustine writes : " I
had always regarded Montalembert as one of the hot
headed saints, and on that account was all the more agree
ably disappointed on reading his letter. If his wish were
only fulfilled, and Dollinger went to Rome ! But his ' Con
siderations,' really invaluable in their clearness and decision
of expression, make him an ever more unwelcome guest
there." On the 8th of December, 1869, the Council was opened.
The regulations drawn up for the conducting of business,
and approved by the Pope, determined that the Pope only
should be permitted to make propositions to the Council,
and that the Bishops must hand in all their suggestions to

230 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
a committee named by the Pope, and who would bring
them, with his special consent, under the consideration of
the Council. The Bishops further were not to be allowed
to read, examine, or compare the reports of any meeting,
nor were they to be allowed to publish anything in Rome
against the Infallibility.
On the loth of December the first general meeting was
held. In the very first sederunt a great excitement was
produced by the daring step taken by a Bishop from the
Turkish frontier, unknown to all present. Strossmayer,
Bishop of Bosnia, protested, in a powerful speech at the
beginning of the Council, against the rules for the con
ducting of business which had been forced upon the
Bishops, and "by which all calm consideration and close
examination were- rendered from the very first impossible."
He was called to order by the president, who informed him
that he was speaking on a subject already decided by the
Pope, and therefore no longer before the meeting. This
occurrence produced a bad impression among the French
and German Bishops. Between fifty and sixty of them
handed in a protest against the business regulations, as
calculated to endanger " mature deliberation and the fullest
freedom of discussion." They, however, received no answer.
In Germany the excitement with which the future pro
ceedings of the Council were awaited went on increasing.
Several men of learning, among whom was Dollinger's
friend. Lord Acton, at that time in Rome, through abundant
opportunity of intercourse with several of the Bishops, were
able to follow accurately the proceedings of the Council,
and sent detailed accounts of all events to Germany, and
always first to Munich.

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 23 1
Sister Augustine writes to Professor Cornelius, December
14 : " My hearty thanks for your three interesting letters.
Their contents, indeed, are only too well fitted to make the
picture of the Church's future daily more distinct with the
most dreadful details. With our whole soul we hope and
wish for a real deliverance, and were we not to catch at
every streak of light, we would, after 'the past experi
ences, be more than hopeless. You will see that the worst
will come to the worst, and that the partially good and
firm intentions of many of our Bishops will soon be suffo
cated in the atmosphere of Rome. The Jesuits have
already had satisfactory proof of this, for everywhere in this
neighbourhood, even in Cologne, they are preaching with
perfect confidence on the dogma of the Infallibility, with
the warning — ' That whoever does not accept this dogma
commits a deadly sin.' Do you not think they should be
pitched out of the pulpit .' And yet I often say, ' Even
though this wretched dogma is not given to the world,
matters will go on, on the whole, the same as ever in Rome
— the Church continuing in her present state of splendid
misery.' And as we are always most interested in ourselves,
I shall have the honour of figuring in our large Congregation
at Nancy, as Pontius Pilate in the Credo. What lectures
shall I have to submit to, and how many things will be
expected of me, not one of which I shall ever be able to
perform ! I am more anxious about this than about my
health, although it is in a bad way just now. If I had not
the sturdy, tough nature of the Lasaulxs, I would have
been buried long ago; but having this, I can manage
to master this wretched cough, which is now taking its
departure, I am really very glad that our excellent

232 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
Dollinger has not gone to Rome ; please to remember me
kindly to him. He could have accomplished nothing with
such associates, and he might thereby have compromised
his good name."
In December the report was spread suddenly among
the Bishops that the dogma of the Infallibility was to
be carried and proclaimed by acclamation. This caused
the more uneasiness to the minority, as the immense
majority of the Bishops assembled had from the first
determined to submit unconditionally to all the wishes
and intentions of the Pope. The majority was so over
whelming, owing to the numerous Italian Bishops, for whom
the exaltation of the Papacy was a mutual triumph of
their nation, and the immense number of Bishops in par
tibus which the Pope had created at his own pleasure
during the previous years. No less than eighty-nine had
been appointed from 1867 to 1869. Without representing
the doctrine or tradition of any special part of the Church,
these Bishops in partibus were equally entitled with the
real Bishops to a vote, and by their complete submission
to the Infallibility, on which account indeed most of them
had been raised to the positions they occupied, they
exercised a by no means inconsiderable influence on the
Council. Darboy declared that, in the event of this report being
really true, he and one hundred Bishops with him would
immediately leave Rome, and "take the Council with
them in the soles of their shoes." However, the intention
of calling the doctrine into existence in this manner was
abandoned in the fear of so unexpected an opposition, and
Darboy's fears proved to be groundless.

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS, 233
The first article laid before the Council, defide, contained
nothing about the doctrine of the Infalhbility; nevertheless
it provoked a warm discussion, and drew forth startling pic
tures from some of the Bishops of the effects of the ever-
increasing system of centralization — " shifting the life of
the Church," and aiming at a unity based not on inward
harmony, but on outward form, and one destitute of all
spiritual life. In December, writing to Frau Cornelius,
Sister Augustine says, "Teh Charles that, according to
the article in to-day's Augsburger Allgemeine Zeittmg, the
atmosphere in Rome is even below zero ; perhaps that is
good, as the thoughts of many have been revealed. A
day or two ago I read the' letter of the Bishop of Orleans,
which gives me pleasure, as the German Archbishops were
incapable of doing it,"
Dupanloup, who on account of his opposition had
been furiously attacked by the Archbishop of Malines,
wrote a reply which was not allowed to be printed in
Rome, The learned Gratry (of the Oratory) took up the defence
of Dupanloup's opinions, publishing a number of his letters
to Dechamps, in which he proved that the theory of In
fallibility was founded solely on legends and fables, which
in the Middle Ages, partly unconsciously and partly by
conscious and deliberate falsification, had been set forth as
the teaching and expositions of the Fathers,
The year 1870 began with the Bishops of the majority
presenting an address to the Pope, in which they prayed
that an opportunity might be given to the Council of
bringing the question of the Infallibility to a final decision.
This address owed its actual existence chiefly to two

234 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
German Bishops — Bishop Martin of Paderborn, and Bishop
Senestrey of Regensburg. This caused one hundred and
thirty-seven Bishops of the minority to present a counter
address, drawn up by Rauscher and Darboy, which the
Pope refused to accept. From many of the towns in the
Rhineland letters of approval were sent to the opposing
Bishops, to thank them for the position they had taken,
and to strengthen them in it The German Bishops, -with
few exceptions, were inwardly startled at the consequences
of the ecclesiastical views they had adopted, which, now
the Council had assembled, made ever more imperious de
mands on them. The voice of their consciences, the con
clusions to which their studies had brought them, and the
warning voices which reached them from their German
homes, raised serious reflections within them ; but yet they
could not gain that unalterable purpose which springs only
from a clear perception of a decided duty and the determi
nation to perform it, irrespective of consequences. In th^ir
speeches they defended themselves with all the energy of
despair against the dogma, which they designated as an
unheard-of innovation, a crime against the Church, an act
of suicide. They always opposed the business regulations
and complained of the violence practised on them. They
designated their protest as an "everlasting memorial" of
their opposition to the illegal proceedings of the Council,
and in the most decided language declined all responsibility
for any unfortunate consequences, for which the Council
was alone to blame.
" You must remain here,'' one of them said to Professor
Friedrich, the assistant theologian of Cardinal Hohenlohe,
when he was on the point of leaving Rome — "you must

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 235
remain here, for it is quite necessary that historians
should sit in judgment on this perfidious method of
action." With respect to Germany, on the other hand, the
very same Bishops did all in their power to allay the
opposition to the Infallibility, and to hush the troublesome
voices raised in warning. Professor Michelis, for instance,
was forbidden to write anything whatsoever on the subject
of the Council, under pain of excommunication.
Sister Augustine, in another letter to Professor Cor
nelius, says, " The scandalously arrogant letter of  to
good Michelis made me blush for very shame, knowing
that  is a Coblenz man. This shows you what such
individuals mean by trust in God, to which he directed you
on his visit.''
Great offence was given to some of the Bishops in the
minority, by Dollinger writing, with reference to the address
of the majority who wished to hasten on a decision, his
" Few Words " on the Infallibility, in which he asserted
that he represented the same faith which in essentials the
German Bishops taught. The Archbishop of Cologne and
the Bishop of Mayence proposed that a common decla
ration should be published against Dollinger ; the other
Bishops, however, would not agree to this. The Bishop of
Mayence then published a declaration in his own name,
in which he solemnly disclaimed all connection with
Dollinger ; the Bishop of Ermeland followed his example,
though in a milder form.
Sister Augustine wrote to Professor Cornelius : " The
Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung has just announced that
the Archbishop of Munich has been ordered to forbid the

236 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
theological students from attending Dollinger's lectures :
this, it is to be hoped, is untrue ; but if not I almost feel
tempted to wish that fire from heaven may come down and
destroy the whole company. An address will shortly be
sent from here to Dollinger. . . . Hilgers would have
expressed it more strongly. ' The " Considerations " of
Dollinger,' says Hilgers, 'have taken deeper root in my
heart than anything else that has yet appeared.' "
In this address, which was signed by all the Catholic
professors in Bonn, with but few exceptions, Dollinger was
thanked and praised for the stand he had made against the
Infallibility. Whilst the names were being collected, an occurrence
took place which filled Sister Augustine with great indig
nation. She wrote about it to Professor Hilgers : " Please
do get  to copy these lines, and then send them
back to me ; they will be sent by post to Neusser, the
publisher, and printed by him, I know your answer will be,
' Bold enough ! ' — As the views of an academic teacher
should above all things be rightly construed by his students,
a friend of truth considers it his duty to make known
the following facts : — Professor  refused to put his
name to the address which was sent from the academical
teachers here to Professor Dollinger, At the same time
this same individual wrote to the latter that he had not
lent his name to the address because he considered it not
praiseworthy enough,' "
The second article, de ecclesia Christi, was brought
before the Council in January, The whole doctrine of the
Infallibility and of the temporal supremacy of the Pope
vy;as indirectly, but incontestably, expressed in it The

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 237
Bishops of the opposition determined on this account to
energetically oppose the whole article ; at the same time
they fell back on a position utterly untenable in a question
of truth and falsehood, professing that their opposition was
founded on the premature bringing forward of the dogma.
Only a few expressed their unconditional rejection of the
doctrine, and only one or two of these few determined to
abide by their position, whatever the consequences. The
thought of the possibility of a schism was the spectre
which rose before them whenever it came to a question
of taking a decisive step at the Council ; and the more the
minority vacillated, the more decided became the actions
of the victorious opposition.
A pitched battle took place on the 22nd of February,
when Archbishop Haynold declared that the want of unity
in the Church was owing to the desire to create new
dogmas. The Bishops, he said, should rather seek to
do their duty in trying to preserve the old doctrines, in
which the Church had been happy. Hardly had Haynold
got thus, far in his speech, when a storm of indignation and
dissent arose from the majority ; on all sides the Arch
bishop was met with loud applause and hisses. He was
silenced by the president and the sederunt was closed.
Strossmayer received the same treatment some weeks later,
and wrote thereupon his " Protest against the Unheard-of
Manner in which Dogmas are created,"
In March a new business regulation was introduced,
which laid more decidedly than the first all power in the
hands of the majority, A proposition, supported by ten
Bishops, could now, by obtaining a simple majority, put
an end to all discussion, and bring matters to the final

238 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
vote. The minority again protested, but only again to
submit, " For the first time," says the protest, " have the Bishops
been deprived of a substantial and inalienable right, the
right of free discussion in all matters of faith. We are
compelled to vote, but we are no longer allowed to give a
reason for our vote, by laying down a testimony to the
teaching of our Church. We can send in remarks in
.writing, but they come to the knowledge of none except
the committee of twenty-four; for the Council itself and
our fellow Bishops we can do nothing," etc.
On the 9th of March Sister Augustine wrote : " The
protest has been drawn up and already signed by the
forty French Bishops. A worthy deed, in truth ! God
grant that the Germans may not disgrace us, and not
all be like the miserable Bishops we know ! I expected
nothing better from  ; twelve years ago he insisted
on joining the Jesuits, and was deterred only by the
urgent entreaties of his mother,  and many others are
certainly no honour to us. I will gladly say with you.
Long live the Croats ! Thank God, everything nowadays
is made public, and contemptible meanness soon finds its
merited punishment, I read Gratry's third letter yesterday
with perfect triumph. I hardly know whether to laugh or
weep over the quotation from Father Faber,"
During the spring of 1870 the warning voices from
every part of Europe grew more numerous, prophesying
endless confusion if the designs of the Curia ^were not
checked, Hohenlohe's appeal to the German Governments
to take common action found no response ; on the other
hand, memorials were presented by the Prussian, Bavarian,

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 239
Austrian, Portuguese, and French Governments, which de
clared that the reported definition of the Pope's Infallibility
would be held perfectly incompatible with civil authority,
and would accordingly be opposed. Towards the end of
March it was announced in Rome as a fact that the sketch
of a law was being made in Berlin for the complete expul
sion of the Jesuits. The Catholic party in the Prussian
Landtag sent an urgent request to Archbishop Melchers
that the Infallibility should be left undefined ; Professor
Walter, too, sent a letter from Bonn to the same effect.
In the beginning of June, after Maret, another Bishop
of the minority, had again been interrupted in his remarks,
and the majority had forcibly put an end to all future
discussion, the Bishops took into serious consideration
whether they should totally refuse to take any further
part in debates, and content themselves with merely giving
their non placet at the close, or whether they should simply
hand in a written protest against the injustice done to
them. They determined on the latter course ; the Arch
bishop of Cologne, however, refused to sign his name.
The Bishops, accordingly, appeared as before in the meet
ings, and took part in the debates with similar results.
By continually giving way and defining the clauses in
which the dogma was indirectly contained, they went from
compromise to compromise. Sister Augustine at that time
wrote : " My fears increase daily and my hopes diminish,
that truth will be able to obtain any outward visible victory
over falsehood."
She deeply grieved over the death of Count Montalem
bert, one of the noblest opponents of the doctrine of Infalli
bility, who died in the spring of that year. His last wridng,

240 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
published when he was on his death-bed, was, as it were, a
confession of faith, with which he closed his life. It was
his preface to the " Testament du P^re Lacordaire." In
this preface he solemnly testified that Lacordaire himself
had ever been a decided opponent of that party which lays
the Papal autocracy like a yoke upon the Church ; " for
all the wild clamour of that party which thinks itself
victorious over all that resists it, or takes flight before it,
he never would have trembled nor recoiled. As the
companion of his battles, the old confidant of his generous
heart and his bold spirit — now, alas ! unable to serve
the cause of union between faith and liberty, so dear to
both of us — I would be untrue to my conscience and a
traitor to his honour were I to refuse my testimony, —
a testimony all the more necessary, the larger the number
of those who, formerly his disciples and admirers, prove
themselves now equally unfaithful to his mind as to his
example, plunging into an inexcusable timidity, or shelter
ing themselves in a neutrality which no one either believes
in or respects."
Sister Augustine, who some time afterwards received
the book from Munich, wrote : " Many thanks to Charles
for the delightful book he sent me. I have read it,
and am greatly pleased with much that it contains.
Though not agreeing with many of his designs, still I con
sider his character doubly precious for the age in which
he lived. I was very much surprised and pleased by what
Montalembert says in the preface. Oh, would that he
were alive just now ! "
Whilst she thus followed the future of her Church
with keen and anxious interest, she was summoned in the

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 241
spring of this year, by the Lady Superior, to Nancy,
to take part in the "exercises." Never before had it
seemed so hard for her to obey this call, when the re
lations between the opposing Church parties were strained
to the very utmost. She feared that even then, before the
decision as to Infallibility had gone forth from Rome, the
Order would try to extract from her a confession of her
faith. Although her fears in this respect were not realized, an
occurrence which took place at Nancy caused her to turn
away with renewed aversion from the religious tendency of
her Order.
Towards the end of the "exercises," the Lady Superior
appeared in the midst of the assembled Sisters, and in
formed them that she had been fortunate enough to find
a faithful portrait of the late Sister  , which she would
forthwith show them. This communication caused a
general feeling of joy, as the deceased, whom nearly all
the Superiors present had personally known, was universally
respected and beloved. All gathered round the ch^re mere,
in order to see the picture. Suddenly the foremost uttered
a loud cry of horror, and started back ; the others pressed
forward, and were no less horrified. Sister Augustine,
who had been standing somewhat in the background,
advanced, and in astonishment beheld a skull as the
promised portrait, which the Lady Superior had procured
from the grave of the Sister when the churchyard was
being dug up.
Sister Augustine was at first too indignant to be able
to express herself in words ; but before her departure, when
the conversation turned on the occurrence, and the Lady
R

242 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Superior spoke of the great edification which this unex
pected sight had been the means of affording, she could
not help remarking that, personally, she had not much
taste for this kind of edification, which was really only a
shock to the nervous system ; moreover, she thought it
very foolish to give such a fright to Sisters, several of
whom were invalids and very old. Some had afterwards
trembled and wept from excitement, without daring to
inform the Lady Superior of the cause of their indignation.
The Superior, however, continued to assure her that the
edification had been general, and somewhat angrily added,
" Mais vous restez done toujours la m^me Sceur Augus
tine, qui sent et parle tout autrement que toutes les
autres ! "
Sister Augustine returned in May from her journey,
sick in body and spirit She gives an account of her stay
at Nancy in a letter to Frau Cornelius, her friend : " I will
now tell you how I have been faring, and how glad I am
to be back again. As ill luck would have it, it was a very
hot day when I left here, and I arrived in Luxemburg in the
evening, dead tired. I spent four days there with Clemen
tine, and, on the whole, we lived peaceably together. We
spoke about everything else except the infallible Pope,
which would infallibly have parted us for life and death.
When I left Luxemburg I had pretty well recovered, but
a really fearful heat arrived with me in Nancy, and lasted
the whole time of the Retreat. Fancy, from ninety-five to
one hundred persons for ten whole days in low and not
very large rooms, and not allowed to speak all day, only
to listen ! Four sermons daily, and the rest of the time
filled up with prayer and meditation ! How often I looked

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS, 243
up indignantly at the fat Jesuit father, thinking, ' It is
fortunate for you that I am here only to listen, and dare
not answer you !' The quiet little jokes I made to myself
helped me over the annoyances which were caused me by
all that was spoken, till I reached the hour of liberation,
really in a pitiable state physically and spiritually, which
only began to improve as the train hurried me through
woods and meadows. Matters in Rome, in the meantime,
went on slowly, without reaching any final decision, and it
will be time enough when it does come."
In the course of this month the Article on the Primacy
and the Infallibility was distributed to the Bishops, and
the discussions on it extended over the whole of the
following month of June, The most remarkable speech
on these propositions was that of the Archbishop of
Bologna, Cardinal Guidi, His object was to prove that
the personal infallibility of the Pope, apart from his epis
copate, was entirely unknown up to the fourteenth century,
and that any traces of it will be sought in vain in the
Bible and in tradition. It was clearly deducible from the
works of the celebrated Jesuits, Perrone and Bellarmin,
that the Popes had never, on their own responsibility,
defined a dogma or condemned a heresy. This speech
caused great commotion among the opposite party.
Guidi, who was a Dominican, was deprived of all personal
freedom, every means being tried to induce him to submit
himself. " The celebrated speech of the Archbishop of Bologna,"
wrote Sister Augustine, " was more than merely beating
the air ; he was sharply called to account for it by the
Pope." " I could fall on my knees before Cardinal Guidi,"

244 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
she says again, "if only he does not come to such a pitiable
end, like poor Father Hotzel." This latter was a Franciscan
in Munich, who had ventured to defend Dollinger against
his opponents, whereupon he was called to Rome and com
pelled to retract. The Bishops of the opposition, whose
opinion he consulted, told him that, under the circum
stances, he could do nothing else than submit himself
On the 14th of June the Bishop of Ermland made a
speech, in which he reminded the Council that the Holy
Scriptures did not make Peter and his successor, the Pope,
the foundation of the Church, but Christ and His apostles
and prophets. At the same time the Archbishop of St
Louis (Kenrick) published a pamphlet against the Infalli
bility, which he declared to be incompatible with the
divinely appointed episcopal office of judge ; and further,
to be a new doctrine, which could not be found either in the
Bible nor in any tradition. He prophesied that unspeakable
misery and incalculable complications would be the result
if this dogma were accepted. Those men, he added, who
had raised their voices and warned the faithful that no
innovations in matters of faith were permitted — these men
would on that account be worthy of eternal remembrance,
and obtain the approbation of God.
Another startling picture of the gross injustice which
would be done was given by the Archbishop of Halifax.
" We Bishops," said he, " have no right to give up for our
selves and our successors the ancient and original rights of
the episcopacy, or to abandon the promise of Christ : ' Lo,
I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.'
But now we shall be reduced to mere cyphers, the noblest
jewel in the breastplate of the Bishops' high-priesthood will

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 245
be torn from them ; they will be deprived of the highest
prerogative of their office, and the whole Church, with its
dignitaries, will become a blind herd, forced to believe all
that is said by the only one among them capable of
seeing." "Things continue to look worse in Rome," Sister
Augustine wrote to a friend, "and therefore so much the
better for the true Church. God's hand in this matter of
the Council is becoming ever more apparent — the oppo
sition is displaying a bolder front. Gratry's fourth letter
has appeared. The day before yesterday Hilgers gave us
a heart-rending picture of the times we live in, and on
this dark background he brought out in bold relief the
shining figure of the true and faithful Redeemer. I felt
ready to fall down and beseech Him, with tears, that the
night might never again return."
Many energetic speeches were delivered against the In
fallibility by the Bishops of the opposition ; at the same
time, they almost unanimously accepted the paragraph on
the " Principle of Freedom," in which the Infallibility was
clearly though indirectly contained.
" I never turned with such longing to the North as I do
now," she wrote, "when things are in such a deplorable
state in the South . . . No, not a trace of pure Christianity
is to be found there ! Acton has left Rome, but made
provision for the regular despatch of letters. According
to them, things are going the usual way, and minds are
being constantly distracted between hopes and fears. What
the firial result will be, God only knows,"
She wrote to Professor Cornelius on June 21: "Best
thanks for your two interesting letters, but their contents

246 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
could not but make my heart heavy. The question A 
put to Kenrick has reference to passages still less per-
spicuous than those which the public eye had already
regarded with dissatisfaction, not to say with contempt
The answer that the battle must be fought with the truth
alone, and nothing kept back, has done me much good.
This is, without doubt, the best weapon against Rome's
system of shameless deceit and falsehood. All news that
comes from that side only contributes to complete the
caricature of a Catholicism from which all trace of Chris
tianity has long since disappeared. The unfortunate
Bishops of the opposition have really got into a very
sad position ; all will certainly not remain true to their
colours. The utter contemptibleness of  has been
long known to us, and we were thus saved any disappoint
ment. The conduct of  and his explanation are really
beneath contempt. Are these the leaders of our Church .'
If  has really been induced to stand still and con
sider the headlong course on which he has entered, we
can only rejoice at it ; but how hard will it be for us ever
to trust such men again ! That your fears with regard to
the approaching proclamation on the 29th will be realized,
hardly admits of a doubt, if we are to believe the reports
brought us by the newspapers ; but I cannot yet under
stand that it is necessary for the reform of the Church."
The festival of St. Peter and St. Paul, on the 29th of
June, passed without bringing with it the dreaded pro
clamation of Infallibility.
Sister Augustine wrote to Professor Cornelius, July 9 :
" With a trembling, beating heart, I awaited the 29th, It
is now past, but not the danger that the evil day will

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 247
dawn some time or other. . . . Acton has made excellent
provision for the continuation of the letters from Rome,
which are incalculably valuable. God be thanked, the
Pope cannot shut his mouth as he can those of his prelates.
Poor Hilgers is naturally much cast down, and can now
only hope that the State will extend its protection to the
professors personally. The Government professing, how
ever, to keep on good terms with the so-called Catholic
population, in contradistinction to the educated Catholics,
offers but little help. Warmest love to you all, as also
to Professor Dollinger, who always continues to speak,
although his pen has been condemned to inactivity."
In July the final vote was to be taken. The evening
before the decisive day, July 13, seventy Bishops of the
minority met to prepare for the approaching assembly.
The next day 520 Bishops assembled in Council, of
whom 300 gave the vote placet, 88 non placet, 62 placet
iuxta modum, and 70 refused to vote.*
On the 1 5th of July a deputation of the minority waited
on the Pope, to entreat him to regard the declaration of the
Bishops of the majority as an expression of their devotion
and reverence, without reducing it to a formal dogma ; or if
he did, at least with this reservation, that only those papal
decisions were infallible which should be supported by the
testimony of the Church. Bishop Ketteler threw himself
at the Pope's feet, and besought him not to call up such un
speakable misery upon the Church. This united endeavour
of the Bishops to rescue the old faith was in vain, and a
* According to Cardinal Manning ("The Tme Story ofthe Vatican
Council ") the number of the Bishops assembled was 601 ; of -whom 451 voted
for the decree, 88 against it, and 62 juxta modum.

248 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
formal protest was handed in by them on the 17th of July,
in which they, " compelled by conscience and love to their
Church," renewed and confirmed their adverse vote of the
13th of July.
At the same time, they expressed in this protest (which
Melchers and' Ketteler refused to sign) that, out of simple
reverence for the Pope, they would abstain from taking part
in the solemn proclamation festival, in order not to be
compelled to " oppose the Pope to his face '' in a matter
concerning his own person. Thereupon they left Rome.
On the 1 8th of July the dogma was confirmed by the
Pope and solemnly proclaimed. It ran as follows : " Truly
following the traditions of that faith which from the begin
ning has been, to the praise of God our Redeemer, for the
exaltation of the Catholic religion and for the welfare of
all Christian people, we, with the consent of the holy
Council, do declare as a divinely revealed dogma : that the
Roman Pope, whenever he speaks from his Seat (i.e. when
in the exercise of his office as shepherd and teacher of all
Christians, and when in 'virtue of his supreme apostolic
power), and decides that a doctrine relating to faith or morals
shall be accepted by the whole Church, he, by the divine
assistance promised him through St Peter, possesses in
such matters that authority which the Divine Redeemer
wished His Church to be provided with in all matters
relating to faith and morals, and that, therefore, every such
decision of the Roman Pope is of itself, and not only after
the Church has given its consent, unalterable. And who
ever dares to call in question this our decision, let him be
excommunicated." On the I Sth of July the last sitting of the Council was

ECCLESIASTICAL EVENTS. 249
held ; it was not brought to a close, but, on account of the
summer heat and the outbreak of the war, was soon after
wards adjourned.
Two months later, Rome was taken by the Italians,
and thus the last remnant of the Pope's secular power
disappeared.

CHAPTER XIII.
THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL: 1870-1872.
Although the effect of the Council's transactions could
have been almost with certainty predicted, nevertheless
the opponents of the Papal Infallibility felt their religious
life shaken to its very depths by the blow which had
destroyed the old constitution of the Roman Catholic
Church, now in the eighteenth century of its existence.
The first act of the great ecclesiastical tragedy was past,
the scene of the next and more affecting act was henceforth
to be Germany.
The German Bishops, with but few exceptions, had,
it is true, after solemnly protesting, left the Council, thus
frustrating its decrees, which were valid only in so far as
they had been unanimous. But this was small consolation,
as all confidence in their continued and ultimate opposition
had been too much shaken in Germany. Almost " stunned,"
as Bishop Krementz wrote, they had left Rome. " Dark and
mysterious " the final issue of the Council appeared to them ;
and their only means of safety would have been in their
continued unanimous opposition to the Infallibility. Hardly,
however, had they returned home again, when almost all
of them not only declared their entire acceptation of the

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 251
doctrine, but caused it to be proclaimed as a divine reve
lation. Deliberate conviction had to give way before the
idea which they believed must at any price be retained — the
unity of the Church.
Sister Augustine and her circle of friends were much
cast down. Soon, however, their attention was drawn to
other subjects. Immediately after the return of the
German Bishops from the Council, the war with France
broke out. The enthusiasm in Germany was intense, and
the banks of the Rhine re-echoed with patriotic songs. At
every station loud acclamations of joy greeted the long
railway trains which carried the German army to the
frontier, and the young troops, in the presentiment of
coming victory, responded by joyous cheers.
True, it was with heavy hearts and tearful eyes that
friends and relatives saw their loved ones go forth to join
the army ; still the general enthusiasm was so great, that
every family felt proud and happy in taking its part in
that great cause which all had in common.
The Superior did not partake of this joy ; she knew
the horrors of the battle-field by personal experience, and
neither glory nor victories could make amends to her for
the agonies of a single human being. Even amid the loud
enthusiasm of her young relations she remained grave and
almost sad. Gladly would she herself again have gone out to
the battle-field, but her failing strength made it impossible
for her to do so ; and besides, the general impression was
that the Rhineland would soon be the scene of conflict.
Again came railway trains laden with soldiers, but not
now amid cheers and joyous songs. Silently those wounded
men came, who had bought their country's liberty at the

252 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
price of their own blood. It was a heart-rending sight to
see those youthful mutilated forms, pale and motionless,
with their wounds barely dressed.
The hospitals of Germany were filled to overflowing,
and thousands of willing hands offered their assistance to
the sufferers. Bonn was not remiss in her share of the
labour of love and pity, as she exercised in fifteen hospitals,
some permanent, but for the most part temporary erections.
Sister Augustine made most careful preparations for
the reception of the wounded in her hospital, and soon
the ample wards were filled. She was not able to do
any actual nursing herself, but her watchful love provided
for the necessities of all. She sent two of her Sisters
to assist in a neighbouring hospital, whilst they were
replaced by several ladies of her acquaintance. The
Superior was grateful for all the help she could get,
though sometimes the good intentions of her assistants
came into collision with the comfort of her patients. Such,
for instance, was the case when several of the older
scholars of the " gymnasium " volunteered watching at
night by the sick-beds. The soldiers complained of them :
" We hardly drop asleep, before they thrust their little
lanterns into our faces, to see whether we are awake or
not ; and, of course, we can sleep no more ! " " Those poor
fellows, those school-boys," said the kind Superior, " I can
not bear to hurt their feelings by sending them away, but
I wish I could get rid of them by easy means .' " Even in
those sad times her old merriment never quite forsook her.
She enjoyed allotting the task of preparing breakfast for a
number of Jesuits in a hospital close by, to a friend of
whose aversion to them she was well aware. Laughing and

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 253
joking, the Superior would stand at the open door to see
her orders punctually, though reluctantly executed. During
this war she again met with many noble traits of character
among these simple soldiers, and the heroic fortitude with
which they bore their sufferings filled her with more
enthusiastic admiration than even the news of the great
victories. A young Saxon soldier, the son of a poor labourer, once
remarked, on receiving a letter from home, " Every day
they expect to see me return !" and on being asked whether
he had not written to say that he was very dangerously
wounded, and that months at least must pass before his
recovery, he replied, smiling amid his sufferings, " Oh no ;
it is enough that I alone suffer. Why should I grieve
my parents ? I have told them that I am only slightly
wounded." There were several French prisoners among the patients
in St. John's Hospital ; these were not only nursed with the
same care as the Germans, but they were the objects of the
Superior's peculiar pity. When the tidings of each new
victory of the German army was proclaimed throughout
the house, followed by gay festivities, even among the
sufferers in their wards, or when the convalescents in the
evening sang patriotic songs in the garden, or gifts and
well-deserved thanks were brought to the brave German
soldiers, she still sympathized with the feelings of the
vanquished, and sought by her own strict impartiality to
alleviate their sufferings. She saw that they were well
provided with winter clothing, remarking, as if to excuse
herself, " Poor fellows ! they have no one else to care for
them." The German soldiers could not help being aware

254 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
of this, and sometimes the bitter and unjust hint was
dropped : " If I were a Frenchman, I would get all I want !"
Yet her actions were not prompted by any want of love to
her German fatherland, but by the Christian feelings of a
true " Sister of Charity,"
Even one of her dearest friends was perplexed by such
strict impartiality, and still more by the manner in which
she avoided hurting the feelings of those who brought the
patients useless or even hurtful gifts. The misunderstand
ing thus occasioned increased to such a degree, that the
friend one day frankly told her that she intended break
ing off their friendship. Instead of replying. Sister Augus
tine embraced her, weeping, and exclaimed, " Oh, don't do
that ; I am so very lonely ! " Their friendship remained
unaltered, but in their intercourse they henceforth restricted
themselves to a subject in which there was no difference of
opinion between them — the future fate oftheir Church,
All the excitement arising from the war could not do
away with the grief occasioned by the sad results of the
Council. All through the war this sorrow predominated
in her. In deep sorrow she wrote to Frau Cornelius in July,
1870: "Thank you for your kind but sad letter, which
revived in me the comforting assurance that we can bear
the sorrows and cares of these heavy times together.
How this dreadful war will desolate the most peaceful
circles and fill us all with distress, and yet its bloody
hand is laid only on the form and relations of an earthly
visible existence ! Infinitely deeper and more painful is
the wound which the so-called dogma of Infallibility, with
all its dreadful consequences, inflicts on us. This is a

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 255
judgment coming on our Church, which could make us
weep tears of blood. The war will pass over : but who
will live to see the end of this spiritual misery.' Tell
me, will all those who have hitherto laid down their testi
mony for real Christian truth now remain dumb, and
accept what their own hearts must reject and condemn ?
That would be enough to drive us to despair. The poor
clergy and inhabitants of the cloisters will be tortured
first ! In the cloisters in Aix the Romish party is furiously
at work, especially among the Sisters of the Child Jesus.
 will soon be appearing here as executioner, but rather
will I shake the dust from my feet than accept one word
of the new Credo. We will remain in the old Church, won't
we .' and God and His sacred Gospel will help us. Hilgers
is quite ill from sheer grief; what will become of him if
he continues his opposition .' The Archbishop is going to
demand ' confession of the dogma ' from the professors in
three weeks. I don't know if I shall remain here, but I
rather think so, as we have got ready fifty beds for the
soldiers, and have undertaken the nursing in the new
hospital, and are, besides, much in request. You see, un
happily, I was right about a third war ! "
A few weeks later she wrote to Professor Cornelius :
" How vefy few there are in Roman Catholic circles who
now testify by deed what they formerly confessed with
the mouth. How deeply does this want of principle, which
is "hardly pardonable in a common workman, disgrace the
princes of the Church ! Never have the latter appeared
to me so fallible as since their head has laid claim to
infallibility. On this new dogma God has distinctly
spoken His non placet by the war. This reconciles me in

256 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
a certain degree to the war, though its ghastly victims
surround me on all sides. Thank God, we Sisters here are
able to perform our share in the work, otherwise I would
not have remained here. You know how much better the
most violent storm suits me than common every-day life.
To-day we are expecting a fresh transport of wounded
from Metz. . . . God has so plainly spoken his non placet
to the Pope, that he must surely have understood it by
this time. But of him it may truly be said —
" Der schrecklichste der Schrecken
Das ist der Mensch in seinem Wahn."
The submission of the Bishops was immediately fol
lowed by a renewal of the opposition within the dioceses.
This opposition was at first merely passive, and could no
longer count among its numbers nearly all those who had
belonged to it during the Council. And in addition to this,
the comparatively few who were comprised in it were
scattered and isolated in all parts of Germany. The older
clergy had, almost to a man, followed the example of
their Bishops, for the sake of peace in the Church ; others,
too, actuated by less noble motives, had submitted to or
tacitly acquiesced in the decision of the Council. It was not
necessary to directly and publicly acknowledge the dogma,
and in the few cases where the Papal Infallibility was
indirectly implied, the clergy adopted a course of evasion or
of submission. The younger clergy, owing to the training
they had received, had been, even before the Council, in
no way opposed to the dogma of Infallibility, and became
now itJ most valiant champions. A somewhat similar
position was taken by the Catholic laity, for whom
Catholicism consisted essentially not so much in holding

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 257
fast the traditional articles of faith and the Sacraments, as
principally in remaining in connection with the external
hierarchy, which possessed and eriibodied all teaching.
With such views prevailing either exclusively, or exercising
a predominant influence among them, it was only natural
that all the positively disposed in the Church should
consider it as nothing more than their simple duty to
submit to the authority of the Bishops, or at least to
refrain from protesting — the more so that, for some years
past, individual responsibility had been represented in the
Catholic Church as of little importance compared with
belief in authority and obedience.
Opposition to Rome, after the Council, was accordingly
not the product of the general feeling of the German
Catholic population, nor of any healthy process of
reasoning on its part ; it originated rather among the
narrower university circles, to which individual men from
other towns, particularly from Cologne and Coblenz,
attached themselves. These were to be found in greatest
numbers in Bonn and Munich, and these two towns
gradually became the centres of all future movements.
Opposition to the doctrine of Infallibility brought men
of the most diverse views together, who had but little in
common except enthusiasm for the same cause. And
even those whose views and opinions in ecclesiastical
matters were alike, had been led by the most different
ways to a common standing-ground. Side by side with
men who* like Hilgejs and Baltzer, had for years been
opposed to the Ultramontane party, and who, as a matter
of course, refused to accept the dogma of Infallibility, were
to be found others, who had during their whole hfe been
S

258 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
attached to the hierarchical party, and whose every effort
had been devoted to strengthen and vuphold it. Only at
the last moment were their eyes opened, by the result of
their studies and of their personal experience, to the mischief
the very party to which they belonged was creating, and
their earnest zeal for the welfare of their Church made
them equally decided in opposing those who had formerly
been of the same way of thinking with themselves.
The small prospects they had of making any adherents
was fortunate for the opposition, in so far that it pre
vented, at first at least, the introduction of other than
purely ecclesiastical elements among them. Still, many at
that time joined the opposition to whom the possibility of
playing any part in public life was attractive, and to whom
it was a matter depending entirely on outward circum
stances whether they appeared as defenders of the new or
of the old doctrine. There was likewise no want of those
who, clearly perceiving that the decisive struggle between
State and Church was now approaching, attached them
selves, from more or less selfish reasons, to the opposing
party. Lastly, men were to be found in this party whose
object, so far from being to preserve the ancient con
stitution of the Church, was rather to find in the present
a fitting opportunity for renewed attacks and secret, but
active, attempts against all positive Christianity and Church
systems. Opposition to the Pope served only as a pre
text for trying to introduce revolutionary measures into
the Church. But all such impure elements were only
to be found here and there among the members of the
opposition, and their presence had no influence whatever
on the determinations and resolutions of the great majority,

TUE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL, 259
who were really in earnest, and whose ecclesiastical views
were strictly positive.
The first general declaration against the decrees of the
Council was made by an assembly of Catholics in Munich.
It ran thus : " That we do not receive the unjustifiable
decrees published in Rome on the 1 8th of July ; that we
all remain true to our old Catholic faith, in which our
fathers lived and died, and therefore are determined to
offer every kind oi opposition, active and passive, to any
attempt to force any new article of faith upon us, or to
expel us from the Church." At the same time forty-three
professors of the university of Munich published a declara
tion that :
" In consideration of the following facts : —
"That the chief subjects of deliberation had been con
cealed from the Bishops, thus making all preparation on
their part for the Council impossible ;
" That much pressure had been put on many Bishops
who were not independent ;
" That the definition was not unanimously come to :
" The undersigned consider the Council as having been
neither a free nor a general one, and hold its decisions
invalid ;
" And also reject the Infallibility, as being founded on
a doctrine not contained in sacred Scriptures, in contra
diction to the tradition and history of the Church."
Similar expressions were used by an assembly oi
Catholic scholars in Niirnberg. Ahh6 Haneberg intended
being present a.t this meeting, but shortly before it as
sembled wrote excusing himself. Immediately before this,
a number of the clergy and laity from the dioceses of

26o SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Cologne and Treves had met in Konigswinter, to resolve
on the common attitude they should assume towards the
dogma of the Infallibility. Dieringer made himself espe
cially conspicuous by his violent attack on it He urged
that the protest against this innovation should be expressed
in the strongest terms.
The opposition to the dogma, which grew and was
nourished by the very speeches and complaints which the
heads of the German Church had themselves uttered in
Rome, began to cause the Bishops some uneasiness. Seven
of them assembled in Fulda, under the presidency of
the Archbishop of Cologne, and agreed to draw up a
pastoral letter to the faithful, after the publication of
which proceedings would be taken against all who should
in any way render opposition. It was not said in this
letter that a love for peace and for the unity of the Church
had determined them to agree to the resolutions of the
majority, and that they recommended their flocks to take
a -similar step, but they at once proclaimed — in most glaring
contradiction to the testimony they had borne in Rome —
Infallibility to be a truth revealed by Christ, which at all
times, and in every land, and by all people had been be
lieved ; that the Vatican Council was in very deed a general
Council in which there had been no want of necessary
freedom ; and that all who wished to remain members of
the Catholic Church must submit themselves to its decrees
as emanating from the Holy Spirit.
* Many, and among them Sister Augustine, cherished
the hope that the declaration of the seven Bishops would
find no echo among the other members of the episco
pate. In the beginning of October she wrote to Professor

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 261
Cornelius : " I would have thanked you sooner for your
letter and Acton's pamphlet, but I was utterly cast down in
spirit, and could not think of the Church's miseiy without
tears. Your last letter gave me courage at the time, and
allowed me to hope that all the Bishops are not so pitiable
as those who assembled at Fulda. Their moral worth is
certainly less than nothing. And we poor creatures have
the misfortune to live in their very dioceses ! "
After a short time the whole of the Bishops proclaimed
their adherence to the declaration of Fulda — Hefele alone
excepted, who, in consequence, held a completely isolated
position. Hefele, as a former professor of Church history,
was too firmly convinced of the novelty of the doctrine,
and accordingly determined to persist in his opposition
and take the consequences, whatever they might be.
After the proclamation of the pastoral letter, every
possible effort was used to gain a general acceptation for
the decree of the Council. The Archbishop of Cologne
made a beginning, by requesting his college friend, the
pastor of Unkei, whose opinion in Church matters he
well knew, to declare his submission. On his refusing,
the pastor was deprived of his office. This was the first
suspension that took place in the Rhineland. In Unkei,
where the inhabitants were distinguished from those of the
surrounding villages by their quiet, deliberate ways, this
event produced an unheard-of excitement. The whole town,
with one or two exceptions, took the part of the pastor,
who had won the love of his parish by his unremitting
care for the sick and the destitute, and by the zeal with
which he suggested and carried out the restoration of the
old and remarkably beautiful church. As soon as the

262 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Archbishop was informed of the opposition, he wrote a
letter to the inhabitants, solemnly warning them not to
make shipwreck of their faith, nor ever to separate them
selves from the Catholic Church, in following a priest
whom she had excommunicated, etc.
The excitement rose to a climax. Everybody, even
to the very school children, took sides for or against the
Infallibility ; work was left neglected ; the men sat half
the day in public-houses, and the women stood about the
streets in a state of excitement. After a short but hard
struggle, the desire for peace and order, and respect for
legitimate authority, triumphed over affection for their
former pastor and love to the old traditional faith, in which
their ancestors had lived happy and content.
Pastor Tangermann, relying on the protection of the
State, considered it his duty to remain in his parsonage
longer than was permitted by the Archbishop after his
suspension, and even after his parish had turned against
him. Sister Augustine, who personally knew him, dis
approved very much of this step. "If I were," she said,
" in his place I would have been off long ago. Christ
Himself said, 'And whosoever shall not receive you nor
hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city,
shake the dust from off your feet.' " In her eyes an honest
opinion, and, when necessary, an open confession, was
essentially the one thing needful at this time. Everything
like partisanship, all desire to have a personal following,
all disputes about the " mine " and the " thine," all pubhc
speeches against the new doctrine, etc., did not meet with
her approval, nor did she leave her disapproval unexpressed.
However decided she was in her own convictions, she was

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL, 263
very far from ever attempting to convert others to her
views, nOr did she desire to exercise any strong influence
either among her fellow-Sisters or the circle of her intimate
friends. With the single exception of Unkei, all remained quiet
in the parishes of the Rhineland, and it was among the pro
fessors that the Archbishop first encountered a determined
opposition. Sister Augustine wrote to Professor Cornelius on Oc
tober 8 : " You will no doubt have already heard that the
heresy hunt has begun, and that Langen, Reusch, Knoodt,
Birlinger, and Dickmann have received a written declara
tion from the Archbishop, which they are expected to sign.
Three days ago, Hilgers received a similar communication,
and one hour after receiving it, his answer was on its
way back to Cologne. He has not stated his attitude to
the dogma ; all that he has done in the meantime is
to inform the Archbishop that all further dealings with
him must be conducted in the legitimate way, through the
Government. Beseler, Curator of the Bonn University,
is naturally on the side of our professors, and hopes still
to be able to ward off the blow in spite of  miserable
behaviour." The Archbishop's first step was to deprive the pro
fessors of their missio canonica, thereby causing them to
discontinue their lectures for the winter, and as a con
sequence the sermons in the hospital chapel were given
up, to the great grief of Sister Augustine and many others
who regularly attended them.
" What times these are ! " she wrote in October to
Frau Cornelius ; " we had enough to do with the war, but

264 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
now there comes this moral misery in the Church, which
will leave even deeper wounds. The convents will be
carefully searched, after the example set in the dioceses,
and the knife held at our throats. What I am to do is
perfectly clear ; but what will come of it all, God alone
knows ; but when the time comes. He will help us."
In another letter she said, "What oppresses me is,
not my work, but the events in the ecclesiastical world,
where hardly any true Christianity can take root in future.
The Master must come and with His fan throughly purge
His floor. How pitiable is the behaviour of the majority
(not to say the whole) of the German Bishops and the
fanatical clergy ! The sword is at present suspended over
our professors — do you think Dieringer will remain true to
his colours .' Our dear and revered Church will ever more
and more disappear from view, till she becomes altogether
invisible. How comforting to think that we shall find her
again above, and in her complete purity ! "
The nearer the time of decision approached, the greater
became the mental depression. Sister Augustine was
often deeply cast down, but in presence of her friends she
strove to appear brighter and more hopeful than she really
was at heart. She continued consoling, encouraging, and
cheering as much as lay in her power. Professor Michelis,
whose acquaintance she made at this time, was once heard
to say that " the ' Mother ' of the Charity Sisters is worth
more than six Bishops and twelve professors put together."
And when, a little later, he visited Haneberg in Munich,
he wrote to Professor Reusch that " if the ' Mother ' of the
Charity Sisters were only abbot of St Boniface, this con
vent inight serve to enlighten many." She was indeed

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 265
a pillar of the opposition. Her own sturdy nature,
never doubting as to which was the right way, and
never hesitating to take it, without any idea of compromise,
possessed a strength to which many owed the decision
to which they were ultimately led.
The zeal with which the Bishops worked through the
winter to propagate the new doctrine, left the impression
that they were trying to atone for their former hesitation
and final opposition ; and their behaviour was interpreted
as such and extolled by their former opponents. Thus,
among others. Cardinal Manning wrote : " The German
Bishops have won for themselves the honourable title of
' Defenders of the highest and infallible authority of the
Chair of St. Peter.' "
The signal which had been given for the persecu
tion of the opposition found a loud echo, and, as Sister
Augustine expressed it, a perfect "chase" was begun
against those who adhered to the old faith. Friends
sought to bring their friends and relations to an acknow
ledgment of the Papal Infallibility, or at all events to keep
silence. Where entreaties failed, threatening was tried.
Aged people were reminded of their approaching death
and of a burial without the honours of the Church ; friend
ships of many years' standing were broken, and irrecon
cilable dissensions arose within countless families. All
that could have brought about a reunion was forgotten ;
the ties of relationship, memories of friendship, love for a
common home, even faith in the same Redeemer — all this
appeared as nothing compared with the acceptance or
rejection of the one doctrine. The party names " Ultra
montane" and " Old Catholic " only embittered the enmity
which had arisen.

266 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Though men could no longer be put to death for their
faith's sake, they could be deprived of something higher
and better than life — their own good name and honour.
It seemed indeed as if the adherents to the old faith were
regarded as nothing better than outlaws ; men otherwise
most honourable did not hesitate to assiduously spread the
most exaggerated abuse and unworthy slanders concerning
them. The more prominent the position taken, the more
was the individual subjected to contumacy and insult
Those who had formerly been the idols of the party to
which they belonged, now were by that same party despised
and hated in proportion as they had been formerly re
spected, and all this on account of the Infallibility, It
cannot be asserted that the Old Catholics bore these moral
persecutions with the patience of the early Christians, and
that they never retorted in a manner similar to that in
which they had been attacked ; but certainly they did not
indulge in abuse to the same enormous extent as their
opponents. By systematic slander, and by cleverly taking
advantage of every real weakness of their opponents, the
Romish party gradually succeeded in placing the Old
Catholics in a very evil and invidious position. By these
means many honourable persons hesitated to express their
disapproval of the Infallibility and to join the opposing
ranks, partly because they would rather not be found
making common cause with men whose reputation had been
ruined, and partly because they feared lest a like fate might
overtake their o\yn good name.
The Archbishop's dealings with the professors extended
over the whole winter. Dieringer was gradually brought
to complete submission. Another old clergyman, likewise

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 267
a decided opponent of the Infallibility, one day came into
the hospital, and somewhat impatiently asked Sister Augus
tine, with whom he had long been on visiting terms when
at Bonn, whether her friends had not yet declared their
submission. She looked at him with surprise, and replied
that surely he himself did not mean to do anything con
trary to his conscience.  answered that he had already
signed so much that he might as well sign the paper in
question too, " A stroke of the pen is quickly done, and
then I shall have peace ! " He actually had appended
his name. Sister Augustine was so shocked at such a
display of want of principle, that she turned away from
her former friend without being able to say anything in
reply. Another aged priest, who was much attached to his
sphere of labour, visited her to ask her advice as to
whether, if the worst came, he could do nothing else than
resign his connection with the duties which he had so
much at heart. He was so excited and in such a state
of irresolution that he was unable to come to any final
decision for himself Sister Augustine, who deeply sym
pathized with him, assured him in the strongest terms that
when it was a question of lifting up testimony lor the
truth and 01 remaining true to the old faith, the latter
course must be taken, no matter at what sacrifice; all must
give place to it, even the dearest and highest duties.
Although, as far as she could see, the suspension would
fall heavier on no one than on him, yet she considered
there was no way of escape, no alternative for him ; he
must, in her opinion, let it come. After this interview she
was much cast down. She had the distinct impression that

'268 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
he who had sought her advice would, directly or indi
rectly, act against his better conscience, and give in his
adherence. Nor was she mistaken.
According to her, " conflicting duties " were only appa
rently so ; what God demanded was duty alone, and He
could never ask two contradictory things at one and the
same time. To the remonstrance which was often made
to her — " Of two evils one must choose the lesser," i.e. ex
communication must at any price be avoided — she replied
very earnestly, "We must at any price remain faithful to the
truth; we are not responsible for the consequences."
About that time the proposition was made to one of the
Bishops — ^with regard to the closing words of the dogma,
" Should any one dare to contradict this our decree, let him
be excommunicated " — to let suspension only follow, when
any one actually contradicted the dogma. Sister Augus
tine seriously disapproved of this proposal, and she was
glad when the Bishop, with more consistency than worldly
wisdom, rejected it " Let me tell you in haste," she wrote
to Hilgers, " that  has got a decided refusal from the
 , Deo gratias ! "
She had no sympathy for any considerations of worldly
wisdom and avoidance of danger, nor could she understand
such considerations in others, especially in those whose
position demanded an open confession of their inward con
victions. All attempts to avoid or postpone a decision
went against her nature. "That is the first step to a
surrender," she said on one occasion ; and when her friend
tried to talk her out of her fears, she replied, sadly, " We
will wait and see ; for my part, I shall never believe in
one again," Overcome with grief, she discontinued her

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL, 269
work, and with eyes fixed on the crucifix, prayed in the
words of Novalis : — " Wenn Alle untreu werden
So bleib ich Dir doch treu ;
Dass Dankbarkeit auf Erdeii
Nicht ausgestorben sei."
A friend, who found her at work in the dispensary with
tears in her eyes, asked the cause of her weeping. She
replied, " I weep not for myself; my tears are for the
faithless." Christmas of this year brought but little joy to her ;
a cloud of sad experiences and dark forebodings lay heavy
on this season of peace.
On the 30th of December she wrote to Professor Cor
nelius : "Thank you for both your communications, which,
alas ! contained more sad news than good. If the eighty
Bishops of the opposition were to be looked for now,
hardly one would be found. I would not pledge myself
for Hefele remaining faithful. Such a moral degeneration
as is now apparent among the princes of the Church would
in ordinary life have been considered almost impossible.
I seek to comfort myself with the thought that the war
absorbs all interests, and only when it is over will there
be time to think of the Church. But is not every right-
thinking Catholic disgusted with his Church ; and does
he not feel himself completely alienated and repelled from
her, as she at present exists .' And so far from this feel
ing dying out, will it not rather increase in a time of
peace .' Hilgers, Reusch, and Langen are daily expect
ing their suspension, whilst Dieringer basks in the sun
shine of the 'saints" favour. They are very proud of

270 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
his conversion, Hilgers thinks that, in consequence of the
suspension, he will be no longer able to remain director of
the Examination Board, This will be the hardest of all
for him, as he was particularly fond of the work. It is
almost a mercy for him that his health is about as bad as
it can be, and that his complete release from all suffering
cannot be far off. I read in the Augsburger Allgemeine
Zeitung that Schwarzenberg has gone over to the other
camp; if this be true, Strossmayer's conversion is all that
is wanting to complete the work in Austria. I often recall
good Professor Dollinger to mind, and the thought of his
firm steadfastness keeps me from being faint-hearted. The
so-called five paragraphs on the Infallibility, together with
the discussions of them and the position of the State, in
the Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung, pleased me much; I
only wish very many may take them to heart."
A letter written about the same time to Frau Cornelius
shows her even more deeply pained at heart After thank
ing her for a picture of the " Burial of Christ " which she
had received, and which benefitted her as often as she
looked at it, she continues : " It is now, when the Church
which He founded seems so indistinct and far away from
us, that I leel more than ever drawn and attracted to
that little band of the faithful which surrounded the sacred
corpse. God knows how distressed I ani at the present
condition of the Church — how I cannot allow myself to
hope for any improvement in the immediate future, and
how hard it is for me to think, without bitterness, of
the unprincipled Church leaders, whose contemptible be
haviour makes me blush for very shame. I have been
long accustomed to approach with a certain degree of

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 27 1
caution and mistrust all the so-called pious Catholics
and their clergy, and I have always found my inward
disinclination justified by further experiences. Then
comes this dreadful war, with its thousand-fold miseries,
from which hardly one house has escaped. And what is
to be won by this great stake ? God alone knows ; and
may He help us all ! My health is tolerable, though I am
always getting further down the hill,"
The deep feeling of loneliness which she had ex
perienced in the earlier years of her convent life again
came over her soul, but now it had lost the sting which
had been wont to inflict so much pain. At first she
had desired and hoped to find a perfect ideal of Chris
tianity realized in human nature, and she had sought it
with insatiable longing among those by whom she was
surrounded. Now, after long years of experience and of
closest intercourse with many excellent men, after years,
too, spent in seeking to reach perfection and to see it
attained by others, she at last came to the conclusion
that perfect fidelity, entirely pure unselfish feeling, and
guileless truth, were not to be found in any human heart,
and she sought no longer for them as she had done in
her youth. She had no one now whose judgment was
the guide of her conduct — nobody to assure her that in
following the advice he gave she would not go astray. She
seldom, and only in matters of little moment, asked any
one's opinion ; she rather, in all important matters, directed
her steps to Him on whose unchangeableness she had
never relied in vain. Still the feeling of being perfectly
alone in the world proved, at times, too much for her, and
she would give sad utterance to it : "I am quite alone,

272 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
just as much as if I were on a small island." " I cannot
tell you how completely solitary I feel." "We always
feel most lonely," she wrote to the same friend, "when
we see how much the image of the Saviour is effaced, both
in ourselves and others. Let us pray earnestly for each
other, that this may be ever less the case."
Considering, as at first she did, that in the presence
of her Protestant friends all reference to the present
condition of the Church must be avoided, she was at
that time disposed to look upon their visits as somewhat
unacceptable. After serious consideration, however, she
determined to speak frankly and openly on every subject ;
" For," said she, " a service is thereby done to the real
Church if it is openly confessed that the desolation which
now exists in the world is not the- Church as the Lord
meant it." When a Protestant clergyman expressed to
her his regret that the Catholic Church was coming to
such a pitiable end, and he " had hoped it would have died
a more glorious death," she replied with perfect confi
dence, her " Catholic Church could never perish, for Christ
had Himself given the promise, ' Lo, I am with you alway,
even unto the end of the world.' "
But much more painful — indeed, almost too repulsive
to her feelings — were all expressions of sympathy on the
part of those who, from anti-religious or selfish motives,
had joined the ranks of those opposed to the Infallibility.
These sympathies she could neither share nor accept.
Her own opposition, and the decided and bold language
in which she expressed her dissatisfaction and grief to her
nearest friends, were the product of warm affection for her
Church, and respect for truth.

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 273
She was deeply grieved, too, at the conduct of the
one German Bishop who had up till then remained firm
in his opposition to the Infallibility. Though she had
never had great hopes of his ultimately abiding true, she
never expected that he would submit so quickly. Hefele
had declared in the beginning of the winter that " he would
let the sentence of suspension be pronounced over himself,"
and that "he would rather die than accept the dogma."
Shortly after Christmas, however, he wrote that " the posi
tion of a suspended Bishop was so intolerable that he could
not make up his mind to accept it." By every possible
means he sought to bring his former friends, and especially
Dollinger, to submission, urging that under no circum
stances should they consent "to be expelled from- the
Church ; " it would be better in the meantime to give way,
he said, "in order to be able, under a more favourable wind,
to attack the dogma with some hope of success."
Sister Augustine wrote to Professor Cornelius on March
17, 1871 : "Hefele's manifestoes have saddened me more than
I can tell. He gives proof in them of an incapacity which
is painfully inconsistent with the position he occupies.
The clergy, with but few exceptions, are really terribly
sunk, perhaps deeper than any other class of the commu
nity. At times it is absolutely necessary to look up to
prominent characters, such as Strossmayer, Dollinger, and
one or two others, so as not to lose all belief in the good
ness of human nature. The former is, and will remain,
the most noble type of all the Bishops. The Archbishop's
latest demand will doubtless give Hilgers his death-blow,
for, physically and mentally, his strength is nearly ex
hausted. God alone knows whether any sign of life can
T

274 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
ever again arise from the death dungeons of Rome ; to
man it seems quite impossible. Acton's pamphlet is
written in a somewhat dry style, but it will have a salutary
effect. He handles the weapons of truth against the
kingdom of infernal falsehood and undisguised selfishness.
Florencourt's letters do me good. I hope the promised
continuation will soon follow. But Dollinger will never
leave his colours and desert to the other camp, will he .'
In spite of all their repeated assurances to the contrary, I
cannot help having my fears for  and  . God
grant that these fears may prove unfounded ! "
She feared to the last that some, out of pure love
for their work, would continue in it at the expense of
their own convictions. The last day of March was the
time when the day of grace given by the Archbishop
was to end. If by that date the articles of submission
were not signed, suspension from office would be the
certain result. Sister Augustine regarded any extension
of this time and a renewal of the negotiations as so dan
gerous, that on the ist of April, as if a weight had been
taken from her heart, she exclaimed, " God be praised
that they are suspended ! " She shared the pain with her
friends, which this violent end to their accustomed, much-
loved duties caused them, with deepest sympathy, a pain felt
all the more keenly because there seemed no prospect of
their ever being able to resume those duties again. " In
the meantime," she wrote to a friend, "our combatants
look, with St. Stephen, to heaven for consolation ; only
Jews ready to stone them are all they can find on earth.''
In a letter to Munich, on the ist of April, she wrote: "I
cannot tell you how rejoiced I am at the thought of your

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 275
coming, and how much comfort it gives me to be near you
in spirit at least, especially in a time like this, when the
whole prospect in which we were wont to find comfort and
repose has been reduced to desolation. Yesterday Langen
read the Mass, and Reusch took his place in the confes
sional, both for the last time. Hilgers was more wretched,
suffering, and broken-hearted than ever ; I was, of course,
in terribly low spirits. Just then the post brought me the
Augsburger Allgemeine Zeitung, with Dollinger's reply in
full. It was like oil to the flickering lamp ! I have
never read anything that did me so much good. ' God
be thanked ! ' I kept repeating, overjoyed ; ' as long as we
have an apostle like this to defend truth and right, I will
never despair.' Dollinger sends a flash of lightning into
the deepest recesses of Romanism ; the bats and moles will
indeed start back affrighted ! Although the ' hot-headed
saints ' are shameless enough to stop their ears and curse
this unwelcome preacher of righteousness, many will accept
his words with deepest thanks and comfort If Dollinger
were but made our Pope, then, I think, I could be a
Catholic again with my whole heart."
The time given to Dollinger extended likewise to the
1st of March. A few days before, he declared publicly that
he would never give in his submission. It was this answer
that Sister Augustine hailed with so much delight. "As
a Christian, a theologian, an historian, and a citizen, I
cannot," he said, "receive this dogma. As a Christian
I cannot, for this teaching is inconsistent with the spirit of
the Gospel, and contradictory to the clearest utterances of
Christ and of His apostles. Its precise aim is to establish
the kingdom of this world, which Christ refused, and to set

276 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
a dominion over the Churches, which Peter denied to hini
self and to all others.
" As a theologian I cannot, for the whole genuine tra
dition of the Church is irreconcilably opposed to it.
"As an historian I cannot, for all history proves that
the persistent attempt to put this theory into practice in
the government of the world, has made Europe run with
blood, has desolated and laid waste whole countries, has
destroyed the beautifully organized constitution of the
ancient Church, and has begotten, nourished, and per
petuated the most scandalous abuses in the Church.
"Finally, as a citizen I cannot, for in demanding sub
mission from the States and monarchs and the whole
political organization to the Pope, and in the exceptional
claims it makes for the clergy, it lays the foundation for an
endless and ruinous conflict between State and Church,
between clergy and laity."
Almost at the same time with Dollinger's answer to the
Archbishop of Munich, Bishop Hefele proclaimed his
submission. He tells us that he considers " ecclesiastical
peace and unity in the Church of so inestimable value,
that great and heavy personal sacrifices must be made to
obtain it ; " adding that, as the Council was not yet ended,
he could always hope that additions to the doctrine might
be made, which would in some way lessen its force. Many
timid souls breathed more freely when Hefele thus ex
pressed himself. " Heiele has done for the Council ! " they
said with satisfaction.
On the 17th of April the "great excommunication" was
solemnly pronounced on Dollinger and Friedrich. The
majority of the theological faculty in Munich had tendered
their submission on the first summons.

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL, 277
Similar steps were taken in Breslau and Ermland to
insure the acceptation of the dogma. Bishop Forster
suspended Canon Baltzer, Baron Richthofen, and Professor
Reinkens ; whilst in Braunsberg Professors Michelis and
Menzel, together with Wollmann, the teacher of religion in
the gymnasium, and Treibel, the director of the seminary,
were all suspended, and the rector of the gymnasium, a
layman, was excommunicated,
Dollinger's manifesto again created a great sensation in
all quarters. Whilst, on the one hand, letters of congratu
lation reached him from many towns, and even from Rome
itself, the clergy of Munich, the Cathedral Chapter, and
the whole of the German Bishops, on the other, once more
rejected and condemned his views.
The Archbishop of Munich was perfectly right when he
wrote : " Dollinger is the intellectual head of the whole
movement against the Infallibility," The wrath of all was
accordingly poured upon him, and pamphlets and leading
articles enough to fill volumes were written against him ;
as, for instance, "The Lies of the Dolhnger Sect," "The
Dollinger Scandal," " Dollinger condemned by Himself,"
" Characteristic Traits of Dollinger," " The Dollinger Party
and the Catholics," " Le N^o-Protestantisme de Dollinger,"
" Dolhnger's Opposition to the Church," and innumerable
other writings, all vying with each other in malignity and
bitterness. Sister Augustine wrote of some of these in
her plain manner : " Hanging is too good for them." She
forwarded one of these pamphlets to Professor Corne
lius, with the words, " I do not consider it worth the
postage, but it will give you a hearty laugh, and that is
a good distraction in the midst of so much misery; by

278 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
it [the pamphlet] Dollinger will certainly not be much
hurt" The Archbishop of Munich wrote to the King that a
word from him would be sufficient to restore rest and peace,
whilst the Old Catholics, on their part, applied to him for
protection against the Bishops, And from this time each
party, both in Bavaria and in Prussia, used their utmost
endeavours to obtain the protection of the State exclusively
for themselves. The Old Catholics presented an address
to the King, containing about eighteen thousand signatures,
and as a counter-demonstration the Bishops considered it
right to publish another common pastoral letter, expressed
in even more decided terms than the first, together with a
circular directed to the clergy. They declared that every
Catholic who, wittingly and with intent, continues to oppose
the decisions of the Vatican Council, the acceptance of
which is a sacred duty, shall come under the great ex
communication. The faithful shall beware of all who
oppose themselves, for such are the " true successors to that
spirit which the scribes and Pharisees cherished against
the Saviour," and all their efforts are but "a striving against
Christ and His Holy Spirit"
In opposition to this, the Old Catholics in Munich, in
their turn, with Dollinger at their head, published an equally
decided manifesto, saying that they would remain true to
the duty of every Catholic Christian, and faithful to their old
belief, rejecting every innovation, even though an angel of
God proclaimed it. Adducing new proofs, they asserted
that the doctrine of Infallibility owed its origin to forgery
and its propagation to the use of force, and, in spite of all
the Bishops said to the contrary, its natural consequences

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 279
would be the destruction of all civil authority. They
explained their own ecclesiastical position in the following
words : — " For the first time in eighteen hundred years,
men have been laid under the anathema of the Church,
not because they have introduced and propagated any new
doctrine, but because they will not change, as lightly as
one would change a, dress, the old faith they have received
from the Church and been taught by their parents and
teachers, and refuse to accept anything opposed to it.
The Fathers are unanimous in teaching that an unjust
excommunication is far from injuring any one but the
authors of it, and it can become in the hands of God a
source of blessing for those against whom it is causelessly
directed. We know too," they continued, "that these
efforts are as vain and ineffectual as they are unjust, and
that the faithful can never thus be made to lose their
right to receive, nor the priests their right to dispense, the
means of grace appointed by Christ, and we are resolved
never to let ourselves be deprived of our rights by any
censures pronounced in the interest of a falsehood."
The discussions held at the meeting in Munich, while
bririging to light the difficulties in which the Old Catholics
were then placed in relation to the Catholic Church, had
had the effect of giving new courage and new hope to
those who were engaged in a common work, and who
shared common dangers. . Sister Augustine, though unable
to share the conviction that these efforts would, in the
immediate future, have the effect of bringing about a
change in the present sad state of the Church, still she
failed not to follow them with the warmest sympathy. On
the loth of June she wrote: "Professor Knoodt has

280 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
returned from Munich, and as usual sees a golden time
coming, although his hair has grown white meanwhile.
Hilgers is exactly the reverse — to him all seems dark.
Langen, on his part, is in good spirits," etc. She had but
little faith in any help that man could bring ; her whole
hope and trust were fixed on the divine promise that the
truth will never perish,- and she always expected God
directly to interpose. " He will be with us and preserve
our Church," she said, " though He should have to send an
angel from heaven."
Several letters which she wrote to a friend during the
summer of this year, give a touching picture of the pain
which the state of the Church and her own isolated
position caused her. " Of course I am very sorry that I
could not accompany you all that beautiful way to Mar
burg," she wrote on the loth of June; " I only try to comfort
myself by following you in thought, not to protect you
from the influence of the Protestant air, but to rejoice
with you over the many who have there grown great as
Christians and as men. I live here instead, in constant
danger of coming into collision with some stupid, miserable
declaration or other of that humiliating Infallibility. People
here go up arid down the streets with collecting books
and money-boxes, coming by mistake to my door to get
their donation. When I answer that 'Tdo not contribute
to any such thing,' the collectors are so shocked that they
look as if they would exclaim, ' What ari abomination of
desolation in the holy place ! ' You may therefore be
doubly glad that you are where you are at present, for
here the immediate future of the Church looks dark. I
know you mean it kindly, but you axe, I think, asking too

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 28 1
much, when you tell me to try to live as long as possible.
I would fain leave that duty to you, who stand on the
threshold of life. I, who have borne the burden and heat
of the day, am now weary in heart and spirit."
" Make the most of your change of scene," she wrote
again, " and lay in a store of strength for the weary days
before you. Every-day life in Bonn too soon wearies
the wings of the soul and dims the keenness of its vision.
I rejoice at all your thoughts and doings — indeed, at any
thing that will divert your mind from the Church and its
present condition. How I wish I could do it myself, but
the wicked newspapers and the visit of young Herr Stieve
from Munich make this impossible. What the latter told
me gives me this consolation at least, that matters with
regard to the dogma have come to such a pitch, that the
storm of God's anger cannot now be far off. A storm,
you know, is generally preceded by sheet lightning. In
the mean time none is to be seen, and all that can be heard
is the trumpet of the Ultramontanes. When the time
comes, both of us, I expect, will brilliantly fail in the
examination, and then we will have to emigrate and live
among the Polar bears, or go to Strossmayer, in Hungary,
the only one of the Bishops who has remained true. Do
not be anxious about my health ; I am not the least so
myself, although it is always getting worse."
To the same friend she wrote : " How often I long for
your return ! Still I cannot but advise you to stop at
Cologne and visit the beautiful cathedral ; that grey, vener
able pile of antiquity will make you forget the green,
watery, spiritless present, which hardly allows of a hope of
improvement in the future. In Bavaria and in the Rhine-

282 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
land the opposition is not losing ground ; on the contrary,
it is rather extending. I will tell you by word of mouth of
what is just now going on, and about a deed of arms, too,
which Professor Reusch and I accomplished, and which
was a great success. I will tell you all "this, God willing,
next Sunday."
The deed of arms she spoke of was the practical
assistance she succeeded in rendering in one of the many
cases of necessity caused by the action taken at that time
by the Bishops toward many Catholics who were well dis
posed to the Church. Kampschulte, the Professor of His
tory, who, though he had ever been an active and loyal
member of the Church, was yet decidedly opposed to the
Papal Infallibility, was dying in Honnef, and wished to par
take of the Sacraments. The Dean of the district, though
not a partisan of the new dogma, yet not daring at once to
comply with the request, sent a messenger to Cologne, in
great haste, for advice as to how he should act. The reply
came back that the Sacraments must be refused. Professor
Kampschulte considered it his duty rather to renounce
all claim to the Sacraments than compromise his faith.
Sister Augustine, who was made aware of the circum
stances, proposed to Professor Reusch that he should take
the Holy Communion from the hospital chapel and ad
minister it to his friend, whose death was daily expected.
She so arranged that all the Sisters and servants were
away from the front part of the hospital, whilst she kept
watch till all had been arranged in the church. She
long remained standing at the house door, without being
able to divert herself from the sole thought : " Are we
really living in the time of the Christian persecutions?"

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 283
She endeavoured to render similar assistance in the
autumn to Canon Baltzer from Breslau, who was dying
in Bonn. The Sacrament was procured, but before it
could be brought to him by Professor Langen, Baltzer was
gone. She not only considered herself permitted, but
thai; it was a solemn duty, to render every assistance in
such cases of necessity. Out of her small private income
she procured several articles which she set apart " for the
use of the Old Catholics " in like cases.
In the meantime the state of need in all Church
matters became ever more oppressive and unbearable.
The Prussian Government, indeed, had declined fulfilling
the demand of the Bishops to remove the suspended pro
fessors and teachers of theology from their State appoint
ments, on the ground that the followers of the ancient
Catholic faith " had_ not in any wise forfeited their claim
to the protection of the State because the Church had
changed her doctrine ; " for the rest, it had referred them to
the future legal solution of the conflict. The Bavarian
Government was yet more decided in its refusal. It
directed attention to the fact that they were now called
on to regard those very bishops who had lodged the pro
tests and memorials, as the only reliable authorities in
Church matters, and they declined to do so. Further,
they declined their co-operation in trying to spread the
new doctrine, "and would uphold the principle that the
measures employed by the Church authorities against those
members of the Catholic Church who did not recognize the
dogma, should have no effect on the political and social
position of these men. If necessary, such steps would be
taken to insure the independence of the civil department

284 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
from all ecclesiastical constraint." However, the protection
guaranteed by the German Governments was in nowise
sufficient for the ecclesiastical wants of the individual ; and
the question as to how assistance was to be procured
in present circumstances now demanded an imperative
answer. Opinion was very much divided. Some, like Sister
Augustine, thought it right to take all the consequences of
the position they had taken up, rather than separate them
selves from the communion from which they had been
expelled, and only in extreme cases to procure assistance
for themselves ; others, again, urged that a definitely
organized opposition should be formed, inasmuch as the
Old Cathohcs could not continue to exist any length of
time in their present condition, without support and with
out ecclesiastical rights ; whilst a third held that Pope,
Bishops, and the whole Catholic world, inasmuch as they
had adopted the doctrine of Infallibility, had thereby sepa
rated themselves from the true Church and rendered all
Sacraments dispensed by them as ineffectual. The preva
lent view, however, was that a provisional arrangement
should be made for the Old Catholics, as they claimed
equal rights with all other parties within the Church, until
the whole Church should again be one. In the meantime
only quoad sacra parishes should be formed, for the purpose
of satisfying the religious needs of those who would be
otherwise excluded from the Sacraments. Thus a position
would be gained from which not only the new doctrine
might be opposed, but from which attacks might also be
made against the ignorance, unbelief, and indifference pre
valent among its very adherents.

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 285
Dollinger deprecated any attempt to form a new Church,
as a hindrance to a future re-union. In September, the
first Old Catholic Congress assembled in Munich, with
the view of organizing the ecclesiastical movement going
on in Germany. In the programme published on the 21st
of September, 1871, the basis of all future measures was
laid and clearly expressed.
Among other things it said :
" I. In the consciousness of performing a religious duty,
we continue to hold firmly to the old Catholic faith, as it
is contained in Scripture and tradition, and in the old
Catholic ritual. We consider ourselves therefore to be
legitimate members of the Catholic Church, and will never
permit ourselves to be excluded from its communion, nor
to be deprived of the civil and ecclesiastical rights which
through that communion we possess. We declare the cen
sures pronounced upon us on account of our fidelity to the
faith to be unjustifiable and arbitrary, and that by them we
shall neither be misled nor hindered in conscience from
taking part in the communion of the Church. Our con
fession of faith is contained in the Tridentine Symbolum,
and rejects the articles which have been adopted under the
pontificate of Pius IX., contradictory to the teaching of the
Church and to the apostolic Council, especially the dogma
of the Papal Infallibility and that of the Pope being the
possessor of the highest, absolute, and direct jurisdiction.
" 2. We hold fast to the old constitution of the Church,
and we reject any attempt to exclude the Bishops from a
direct and independent jurisdiction of the churches under
their charge. We regret the teaching contained in the
decrees of the Vatican, that the Pope is the one divinely

286 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
appointed possessor of all ecclesiastical authority and
official power, as being in contradiction with the Tridentine
Canon, according to which the divinely appointed hierarchy
consists of Bishops, Priests, and Deacons. We acknowledge
the Roman Bishop as head of the Church, as he is declared
in Scripture to be, and as he was recognized by the Fathers
and Councils in the old undivided Christian Church.
" [a) We declare that articles of faith can never be
defined by the simple declaration of the Pope for the time
being, and by the expressed or implied consent of Bishops
bound by an oath to unconditional obedience to the Pope ;
but only in harmony with Scripture and early Church tra
dition, as it is to be found in the universally accepted
Fathers and Councils of the Church. A Council like that
of the Vatican, wanting as it was in all the outward con
ditions necessary to render it oecumenical, and by the
general consent of its members completing the breach
between the original basis and the past history of the
Church, cannot give out any imperative decree to the
members of the Church.
" (J?.) We insist that the decrees of a Council must prove
themselves to the popular conscience, and to theological
science, to be in harmony with the original and traditional
faith of the Church, and we reserve for the Catholic laity
and clergy and for scientific theology, in all matters of
faith, the right of discussion and of each laying down its
testimony. " 3. We aim, with the assistance of theological and
canonistic science, at a reform in the Church, which, in the
spirit of the early Church, shall remove the scandals of
the present Church, and, more particularly, which will fulfil

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 287
the wishes of the laity for a greater share in the manage
ment of the Church. We declare that the accusation of
Jansenism made against the Church of Utrecht is un
founded, and that, in consequence, between her and us
there is no dogmatical difference. We hope for a reunion
with the Greek and Russian Churches, whose separation
from us took place without any sufficient reason, being
founded on no essential doctrinal differences. If the
reforms spoken of are carried out, and by means of
scientific and progressive culture, we hope to come to
terms of agreement with Christians of all confessions, and
particularly with the Protestant episcopal Churches of
England and America.
"4. We consider that in the training of the Catholic
clergy a scientific education is absolutely necessary. We
consider the artificial exclusion of the clergy from the
intellectual culture of the age (in seminaries for boys and
in academies under the sole direction of the Bishops)
as absolutely dangerous, considering their great influ
ence on the people. We desire the co-operation of the
Government for the training and education of an en
lightened and patriotic clergy. We demand for the so-
called lower clergy an honourable position, protected
against all hierarchical arbitrariness. We reject the arbi
trary removal of the clergy engaged in active pastoral work
{amovibilitas ad nutum), which was brought in under French
rule, and is now generally aimed at.
" 5. We hold firm to the constitution of our countries,
which is a guarantee for civil freedom and for a liberal
education, and therefore reject, from civil and historical
grounds, and as dangerous to the State, the dogma of the

288 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Pope's sovereignty, and declare that we will abide firmly by
our Governments in their struggle with the ultramontanism
dogmatized in the Syllabus.
"6. As it is quite evident that the present sad condition
of the Church is owing to the so-called ' Society of Jesus,'
and as this society uses its power pr-;dominantly to set the
hierarchy, the clergy, and the people in opposition to all
culture, and to spread and nourish tendencies anti-national
and dangerous to the State, and inasmuch as it teaches a
false and corrupt morality, we desire to express our con
viction that the peace, the prosperity, the unity of the
Church, and a proper relation between her and the common
people, is alone possible when the influence of this Order
shall have been done away with.
" 7. As members of the Catholic Church, unchanged by
any Vatican decrees, and to which the State has promised
political recognition and open protection, we uphold our
claim to all the secular goods and privileges of the
Church." This Congress, seeing that the Church was in a quite
abnormal position, and not yet recognized by the civil
authorities, aimed at the following resolutions : —
"I. In all places where it is needful, and wherever
people who desire to attend it are to be found, a regular
pastoral work shall be established. As to the necessity
for such, the local committee are to judge.
" 2. We have a right to see our priests recognized by
the State as capable of performing all ecclesiastical duties
wheresoever and so long as these are included in civil
rights.

THE YEARS AFTER THE COUNCIL. 289
" 3. Wherever it is possible, steps shall be taken to
secure this recognition.
" 4. Considering our present necessity, the individual is
justified 'in satisfying his own conscience by applying to
foreign Bishops for the»exercise of their episcopal functfons,
and we are justified, as soon as the right moment comes,
in providing for ourselves a regular episcopal jurisdiction."
Sister Augustine had always anticipated the proceed
ings of the first Old Catholic Congress with anxiety. She
feared lest, in the excitement of the time, resolutions of
very questionable value might be aimed at, and lest, going
beyond what was sanctioned by the present state of
necessity, such steps would have the result only of widening
the breach already existing between them and the other
Catholics. For example, she was opposed to the founda
tion of separate congregations. Later on, she ghanged
her mind so far as to regard such actions as " necessary
evils," and she often declared, " When once these Churches
come into existence, it will be, for all who hold firm to the
old faith, a simple, and in every circumstance unquestion
able, duty to join themselves outwardly to them."
Oainions among the Old Catholics were widely dif
ferent on this point Many of the really well-disposed
towards the Church considered such a step as an open
"rebellion" against the legal, though mistaken. Church
authority. In general, however, these fears of Sister Augustine
with regard to the Congress were not confirmed by its
results, and in October she wrote to Frau Cornelius, " Tell
Charles that the contents of the Munich programme have
allayed my fears. You will live to see the true Church
u

290 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
arise from its ruins, and all our sacrifices will not have
been too great. I really envy the men who so boldly cling
to their Church, with all its shame, and receive only hatred
as their reward."
In consequence of the resolutions come to at the
Munich Congress, steps were taken in various towns to
secure the use of churches. In Munich permission had
been already given ; in Cologne the Old Catholics received
a notice from the Government that they were entitled to
the use of the military chapel, St. Pantafeon ; but in Bonn
the use of the cemetery chapel was denied them by the
town council.
Sometimes Sister Augustine was asked what she would
do if a special Church should be founded in Bonn. She
answered, " Before it comes to that, God will have taken
me to Himself."

CHAPTER XIV.
CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH.
Sister Augustine's health never entirely recovered from
the shock it had sustained during her residence in Bohemia.
She had been attacked by an incurable disease, affecting
chiefly her heart and lungs, and occasioning a violent cough
and breathlessness. It was only sheer strength of will
that enabled her to perform the routine of her daily
work for some years longer, and for some time back she
had only been able to sleep in a sitting posture, and
thus she passed many a wakeful hour. Such hours, how
ever, were not unpleasant to her — they in a way made up
to her for the night-watching she had learned to love ; she
then felt " alone with God," and could give " audience to
thought," as she said. In proportion as she liked to
bestow her care and loving attention on others, she dis
liked all such being shown to herself ; for she was firmly
convinced that rest, and her own firm resolve to get
well, would alone work her recovery, if that were at all
possible. "Only fancy," she wrote in the summer of 1870
to a cousin, " that wicked Velten talks of sending me to
Efms. I trust God will not take that way of punishing
me." She could never make up her mind to devote a few

292 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
weeks entirely to her own health, but remained at work,
against the doctor's express wishes. In the spring of 1871
she had a very severe return of her illness. Fearing that
her cousin, in her anxiety, should communicate with the
doctor, she wrote to prevent her, as follows : — " Be sure you
don't tell Dr. Velten that I am so ill, for his prescriptions
make me worse ; besides, I am, on the whole, better, though
far from well ; in the meantime let us be contented with
things as they are."
"At last I see I must give up the hope of ever
coming to Munich," she wrote to her niece A. von L  ,
" as my want of breath hardly permits of my taking a turn
in our garden. My heart complaint is decidedly increasing,
and ever reminds me more forcibly that I must build no
castles in the air for the future, but,rather strive to become
more familiar with the thoughts of a quiet resting-place
beneath the green sod. I am sure it will have grieved
you to learn that our good Marie GSrres has been laid in
her silent resting-place. She was the last member of a
family long connected with us."
After Sister Augustine's recovery from the illness, which
this time had been more severe than ever, she observed
regretfully, " I felt so convinced that God would call me
away, and I hoped by this time to have been looking
down upon you all still struggling here below. But He
will call me soon."
After her recovery she again wished, as she had often
done, to spend a day outside the hospital walls. Through
all her life it had been one of her chief delights to look
upon the beauties of nature, an enjoyment which seldom
fell to her share during her convent life.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH, 293
She wrote once : " Whenever I look out from my
window upon the fresh green of the trees and the in
numerable blossoms of spring, a strange, wild yearning
arises in my heart, I should like to leave these narrow
walls, and to wander away, staff in hand, whither I know
not. Is this temporal earthly spring-time a faint shadow of
the spring above, where no tempest can strip the trees of
their foliage ; and is my heart yearning for that home .'
Why do I tremble at the thought of that day — that day
and hour which is to free me from this narrow human
dwelling, and unfold an everlasting spring-time to my gaze .'
Ah ! the painful consciousness of my disobedience sepa
rates me from my Father's heart, so that I cannot hasten
to Him with unfeigned longing."
In the first days of August, as soon as she felt well
enough, an excursion was planned to Unkei, a small
town above Bonn, where a relation was spending the
summer. The little party sailed up the Rhine at an early
hour, by the first steamboat, in all the splendour* of a
summer morning.
The rays of the morning sun lay across the river like
a golden arch, whilst the shadows slowly crept down the
hills. Sister Aug-ustine and her companions had taken
their seats in the bow of the boat, which as yet was
quite empty, and she looked out upon the glorious Rhine ;
it seemed as if she were bidding a last farewell to this
fair earth. The shining waters and the drops which fell
from the paddle-wheels, looking like fiery spray, reminded
her of a description in Dante's " Paradiso," which she had
been lately reading, and she was delighted on hearing the.
lines repeated that morning —

294 SISTER AUGUSTINE, " I, looked.
And in the likeness of a river saw
Light flowing, from whose amber seeming waves
Flashed up effulgence, as they glided on
'Twixt banks on either side, painted with spring.
Incredible how fair ; and from the tide
There ever and anon, outstarting flew
Sparkles, instinct with life, and in the flowers
Did set them, like to rubies chased in gold ;
Then, as if drunk with odours, plunged again
Into the wondrous flood ; from which, as one
Re-enter'd, still another rose." *
" Oh, I feel so well, so well ! " she exclaimed ; " I cannot
tell you what a blessing such a day outside the hospital walls
is to me." She ^sked her cousin to tell her all the legends
of the Sieben Gebrige, and was particularly delighted
with the story of the monk of Heisterbach, to whom, as
he listened to the song of a forest bird, a hundred years
appeared as one day. Sometimes she rallied the good
attendant Sister, who sat gravely in a corner, hardly raising
her eyes from her breviary : " Why, dear Sister Bonifacia,
look about you a little ; you don't often see anything like
this ! "
During the trip she had completely forgotten her ail
ments ; when, however, she came to ascend the short but
steep path from the landing-place at Unkei to the house,
she was reminded of them. She was hardly able to walk
a few steps without being obliged to stop from sheer
exhaustion, and her companions too clearly saw that she
could not be long with them. Her relatives welcomed her
most gladly, and she spent some pleasant hours with them
till it was time for her to return. It was the last sunny
day of her life,
? " Paradiso," xxx, 61-69. From the translation by the Rev. Henry
Francis Cary, M.A.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 295
Shortly after this excursion she had an attack of
illness which confined her to her room, and made it im
possible for her to see any one but the Sisters of the house.
These were solemn days which she spent in the silence
of her sick-room, looking back on the whole of her past
life. In October she wrote a few lines to a relation : " As
to-day I can almost hope that the invisible seeds of
infection have left me, I think I may send you from my
bedroom these lines laden with the kindest remembrances
to yourself and yours. The Sisters tell you enough of my
health ; my inmost feelings I like telling you myself, and you
only. Almost always alone, yet not feeling alone, some
times grieved at having so often rewarded His presence
with ingratitude, and thus showing myself unworthy of it,
yet so happy, and deeply ashamed a.t His not renouncing
me, but having again given me the consciousness of His
presence. Let us cling fast to Him; He is always to be
found, even though the present Church be no longer able
to show us the way. I see by the daily reports how dark
things still look. When is this dreadful state to end ? "
About the same time she wrote to Frau Cornelius : " I
can but briefly express my good wishes for your approach
ing birthday, for my trembling hands are scarcely fit to
hold a pen. I much doubt if we shall ever again spend a
day together here below. Although my present symptoms
are diminishing, my more serious complaint remains, as
my cough and swollen feet daily prove to me. I am much
with you in thought, sharing all that befalls you, and thus
lessening the feeling of my own loneliness."
At the end of October she was for the first time able to

296 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
receive the visit of a relation ; she welcomed her with her
happy smile, and seemed more cheerful than she had been
for some time past She remarked that this would be her
last illness, and that she had now done with life. Her
cousin tried to talk her out of the idea, saying that she was
sure God would answer all the prayers for the restora
tion of her health. She looked up at her with large joyous
eyes, and answered firmly, " Yes, He will restore me, but in
a different way from what you fancy,"
Though she often was able to receive visits, she
dreaded seeing Professor Hilgers, thinking he would be
deeply affected by finding her in her present state of
physical prostration — all the more so as it was no longer
possible to talk him out of his fears regarding her, " I am
so near death that I dare not lie," she said. At last she
decided on sending for her old friend. On entering the
room Hilgers burst into tears, and forthwith began to give
her a detailed account of his own ailments, without even
so much as inquiring after hers. She was deeply pained
by this meeting, as she could not but observe the breaking
down of her old friend's mental powers ; and although
for many years past she had ceased to look upon him as
her adviser, yet this apparent want of sympathy with her
suffering condition brought back to her anew, in all its
keenness, her feeling of loneliness.
She still continued to manage the household during
her illness. The Sisters received all their directions from
herself, and had to report at her bedside as to the way in
which they had been carried out, and with regard to the
condition of all the inmates of the hospital. In her ex
hausted state, it required no small energy, at the close 01

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 297
such busy days, to be able to receive visitors, and to take
part in the interests of others.
All her friends were at this time deeply struck by
the clear and calm manner in which she spoke of this
illness as being her last, and the peace with which she
looked forward to death. " She truly has all in subjection
under her ! She has indeed overcome the world ! " a
Lutheran clergyman exclaimed, whose sister, a friend of
the Superior's, had brought him on a visit to the sick-room.
However, the peace of her sick-room was not to remain
undisturbed. It was almost like a presentiment of what her
end was to be, when, many years before, on recovering from
an illness, she wrote : " How ungrateful and mean of me,
that instead of rejoicing that my hand is again strength
ened to care for the wants of the sick and poor, I long
for rest and undisturbed quiet. It is needful, indeed, that
St. Francis de Sales should exhort my soul : ' Remember
that God hates those being in peace, whom He has
ordained for war. He is a God of hosts and of battles as
well as a God of peace.' "
A person boarding in the hospital, and who took offence
at the visits of suspended priests, considered it her duty to
make this a ground for informing against Sister Augustine,
and for awakening suspicions in her superiors with regard
to her faith. The feeling of conscientiousness in that
person was probably rendered all the more keen by her
having tried to encroach on the management of the
house, and being always firmly and decidedly rebuked by
Sister Augustine, who, however much acknowledging her
energy and activity, yet always called her attention to her
own proper position. The consequences of the information

298 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
thus received soon followed. At the end of October the
Mistress of the novices from Treves arrived, demanding,
in the name of the Lady Superior, an explanation of her
views with regard to the Infallibihty, adding that the Lady
Superior had not the slightest doubt of her having given
her adherence to this dogma, but that she could not help
feeling a little anxious, as one of the professors under
suspension had preached in the hospital for about twenty
years, another had celebrated Mass there for some years,
and the third had been for years her confessor.
In reply to this she answered, calmly and firmly, that
she felt no anxiety whatever regarding the dogma, as
she decidedly did not believe in it Even had she not
known any of the above-named gentlemen, she would
have considered the doctrine of the Infallibility an error.
She had never for a moment felt uncertain about it,
and now, in the face of death, her opinions were more
decided than ever. Greatly alarmed, the Mistress of the
novices proceeded to inquire whether or no she believed
in the Immaculate Conception of the Virgin. " No,"
replied Sister Augustine, " as a dogma I do not believe
in that either." She further asserted that she would
hold fast to the Catholic faith until death, in which she
had been born and brought up, to which she had faith
fully adhered all her life, and which had comforted her
and supported her under all circumstances ; she would,
however, never corisent to new doctrines being forced
upon her. The Mistress of the novices then returned to
Treves. After having made this confession of her faith, sbe
felt extremely happy. She afterwards told how forcibly

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH, 299
the words of the Lord had been recalled to her memory
— " When they bring you unto the synagogue and unto
magistrates, and powers, take ye no thought how or
what thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say : for
the Holy Ghost shall teach you in the same hour what
ye ought to say," She had riot taken time for long
reflection, but had answered according to what was
uppermost in her heart, and she felt that she had an
swered rightly. She was now satisfied that her superiors
should have no doubts as to her position with regard
to the recent changes which had been introduced into
the Church, She awaited the future and the consequences
of her open confession without fear.
Without any previous announcement, the Ladies
Superior of Nancy and Treves arrived at the hospital on
the 7th of November, and abruptly entered the sick-room,
where Sister Augustine, who had just risen, sat breathless
and exhausted. Without any attention being paid to her
helpless condition, she was peremptorily ordered to give a
confession of her faith ; this she did calmly as before,
refusing to accept the time offered her for consider
ation. On being told that with such views she could
no longer be permitted to remain in the hospital, she
answered, " If you set me out in the street some one or
other will surely pick me up,"
'She was then formally deposed, the Lady Superior
adding, "We cannot keep an heretic in the Order," The
duty of announcing throughout the hospital the deposi
tion of the beloved " Mother," and the nomination of Sister
Immanuel, Elizabeth von Biegeleben, as Superior, fell on
Sister Gertrude, who had been for many years Sister

300 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
Augustine's faithful friend, and it proved almost too much
for her ; weeping, she proclaimed her errand, and the
inmates responded with tears and sobs.
The confusion and distress in the hospital were inde
scribable ; some wept and mourned, whilst others gave vent
to their wrath in angry words and harsh remarks against
the French Superior and her companions. One of the
Sisters, a hardy peasant girl, observed in the first burst of
her grief: "They may set a Superior down upon us, but
they can never again give us a ' Mother.' " The poor
people and the domestic servants were seen standing
about in groups in the lobbies, earnestly talking over and
discussing the unexpected event, until the appearance of
the strange Sisters dispersed them. Sister Augustine was
much agitated by the heartless, and even violent, manner
in which she had been treated, without any regard being
paid to the severe illness under which she was labouring.
And yet she grieved more for the Church than for her
self; she had an example in her own experience of the way
the doctrine of the Infallibility was being forced on it,
and she was constrained to cry with tears, " O God, what
have they done with Thy Church .' "
On the 8th of November she wrote to a friend : " I must
tell you in strictest confidence that the Ladies Superior
of Treves and Nancy came here last week to receive my
confession. I have given it according to conscience and
duty. Accordingly I was deposed yesterday, and a new
Superior has been sent, who will manage the house quite
infallibly ! I, as a very fallible heretic, am condemned
to remain here in bed. Don't write to me any more, as
now all my letters will be kept back and opened. For

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 3OI
my own part, I rejoice that I have been permitted to
take some small share in the persecutions which have
befallen so many. Thank God, death cannot be far off
now." The Lady Superior had at first intended to take her
to Nancy, in order that there, removed from the influence
of her friends, the consequences of the position she had
taken up might become clear to her. On being asked
whether she could stand the journey in short stages, she
replied that she did not know, nor did she care whether she
died at Bonn or on the way to Nancy.
Dr. Velten, however, would not permit the journey ;
he stood faithfully by her side, and did all in his power
as house-physician to protect her. He had entered on his
duties at the same time with her, and after she had been
formally deprived of her appointment, he gave notice to
the Curatorium that he would resign his post at the
beginning of the year.
It was not until the second day after these occur
rences that her relations in Bonn were informed of what
had happened. Greatly alarmed, her cousin hastened
to the hospital, where she found Sister Gertrude at work
in the dispensary, in such distress, and weeping so bitterly,
as hardly to be able to give a reply to the questions
put to her; but all permission to see Sister Augustine
personally was on that day peremptorily refused by the
Lady Superior. The next morning, however, she suc
ceeded in gaining access to her, and found her at first
unable to speak, through grief and emotion. After some
little time she was able to tell, in a feeble voice, all that
had happened— how she had been deposed, had been

302 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
forced to give up her keys, and was watched and guarded
as a suspected person ; how, further, she was not only pre
vented from seeing any of her former friends, but that even
the ladies who had been in the habit of visiting her, were
now denied all access to her, unless they should first con
fess their faith in the Papal Infallibility.
The proposal was made to her to leave the hospital,
and for the future to take up her abode with her relations ;
but to this she answered evasively, being still uncertain
of what her plans would be. In the middle of the con
versation, the door was suddenly opened, and a woman
with tears in her eyes burst into the room, and hastening
to Sister Augustine, pressed her hands again and again,
only able to utter through her sobs the words, "Oh, Mother,
dearest Mother ! " She was a middle-aged woman, who
had for years done the hospital marketing, partly for the
sake of the invalids, and partly out of affection for Sister
Augustine, who had ever placed the greatest confidence
in her. Matters, however, changed when the physician and a
relation of Sister Augustine's energetically protested against
her proposed removal, to Nancy, and more particularly
when it was threatened to inform the legal authorities,
should any attempt be made to take the dying Superior
away from Bonn against her will. The French Lady
Superior took her departure somewhat hastily ; and now,
not only was she allowed perfect freedom to see her
friends and relations, but the whole manner of her treat
ment was quite changed. Consideration was now paid
to her weak state of health, and even holy water was
brought from Lourdes and La Salette in little blue jars.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 303
probably in order to undo by supernatural means the
mischief which the treatment she had undergone during the
past few days had occasioned. " What good can all that
do me," she exclaimed, " after you have thrust a knife
into my heart .' " and indeed the days which followed
were spiritually a -continual martyrdom, encompassed by
what at every turn could only give her pain.
In the meantime, she was offered a home from
friends and relations on all sides, whenever she should
choose to leave the hospital. Her old friend Hilgers,
the Mendelssohn and Simrock families, and relations from
far and near, were all equally anxious that she should take
up her abode with them ; but of all the invitations she
received, none touched her so deeply as that from a poor
music teacher in the neighbourhood of Bonn, whom she
had once nursed in the hospital. Although she supported
herself and her mother only by giving lessons, she never
theless entreated her to come to her, promising her the
tenderest attention. "I can easily manage my enemies,"
Sister Augustine said ; " but as to my friends, that is a
more difficult matter."
She thought she would be formally expelled from the
Order, and in that case she would have accepted one of
these offers ; however, as nothing of the kind was hinted
at in the meantime, she decided, for her part, not to leave
of her own accord, " being determined," as she wrote,
"that death alone would make her part with the colours
under which she had served." Perhaps under other cir
cumstances, and had she been in good health, she might
have considered it her duty to leave the Order, and to
seek for a sphere of labour elsewhere, but grave reasons

304 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
decided her to remain. One of these was, that when she
entered the Order she had taken the vow never to leave
of her own accord. The deeper reason, however, which
kept her attached to the Order was that she considered
it the duty of all who make a public confession of their
faith to do honour to it in every action. It was not for
her own sake, nor for the sake of her own honour, that
she wished to remain within an Order which treated her
as if she were unworthy to belong to it, but for the cause
she had at heart. She was anxious that no action on her
part should give the enemy any opportunity of throwing
discredit on that cause. " I do not go one step further
than I am compelled," she said.
A friend wrote to her in those days : " In the eyes
of your persecutors, the crime of not believing in the
Infallibility is so great, that everything else in comparison
to it — your remaining or not remaining in the Order — is
perfectly immaterial ; they will leave you no peace, nor
will they be able to appreciate your motives for remaining
with them,'' etc.
She replied to this : " You are quite right in all you
say, nor do I act for the sake of those who are now alive.
All is in vain as regards them ; but for the sake of future
generations, I dare not and cannot do otherwise, else they
would have a right to say, ' There, you see how those who
don't believe in the Infallibility neglect their other duties
also ! ' "
After her last experiences, she felt convinced that her
memory would not be forgotten. She was no longer "the
pane in the church window, which, when broken, would be
replaced by another ; " but she knew that her name would

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 30S
be preserve4 and that she had laid down her testimony
for generations to come. For this reason she was desirous
that a right interpretation should be put on her motives
and actions, and in those days she spoke very earnestly
on this subject
However, she became fully aware that she could
neither continue to live as a stranger, nor could she find
peace to die in the house which she had loved as her
home, and in which she so long had ruled as a mother.
After consideration, she decided on removing to Vallendar,
a small town near Coblenz. She had long known Sister
Hedwig, the Superior of the hospital there, and loved her
for the sake of her great kindness of heart and simplicity.
Her superiors consented to the proposal. The necessary
arrangements having been made for her reception at Val
lendar, she sent for Dr. Velten on the evening of the 8th of
November, in order to obtain his leave for the journey.
After spending a long time in the sick-room, he left the
hospital with the remark : " She goes to-morrow. I have
allowed it ; she insists upon it"
Sister Augustine had in the silence of the previous
.sleepless night overcome the pain of separation ; and now,
after the physician's decision, she was calm and composed.
She spoke of how our life, with its joys and griefs, rests
in the hand of God, and how He is able to help us out
of all desolation and distress, however great and deep.
She called to remembrance several passages of Holy Scrip
ture which she especially loved, more particularly that —
" He has graven thee upon the palms of His hand."
The two novices who were in the house came to bid her
good-night, little dreaming of the coming separation ; they
X

3o6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
chatted merrily by her bedside, and one of them, a name
sake and particular favourite of Sister Augustine, remarked,
" To-morrow we novices have our festival of St Stanislaus ;
and we will go to the Holy Communion for our dear little
Mother, so- that she may soon be well again." She
nodded kindly to them and thanked them for their affec
tion. It was a sharp contrast — the bright young novices
in the full strength of their youth, with convent life before
them in all its ideal colours, and Sister Augustine sitting
in her chair, bent with sorrow and sickness ; her ideal of
Church and convent long since shattered, and herself now
rejected and contemned by the very Order which she had
so faithfully served for thirty-two years.
On the morning of the 14th of November she left her
much-loved hospital — " the haven of her happiness," " the
place where alone it was good for her to be," " her dear
home." She went silent and unnoticed, as years ago she had
come. In order to avoid painful leave-takings, she had only
told a very few of her approaching departure, and for the
same reason she preferred not to go to the railway station
at Bonn, but to another a little further up the river. The
Sisters Gertrude and Vincentia accompanied her. Owing
to increasing weakness, she was unable to remain in a
sitting posture, and had to be laid on the floor of the
carriage until they reached the station.
Sister Gertrude went with her to Vallendar, and re
mained to nurse her. The true reason of her being brought
there had been withheld from the Superior of Vallen
dar ; accordingly, she was much alarmed on learning it,
shortly before Sister Augustine's arrival, through an article
of the Coblenz Zeitung. An old boarder of the hospital,

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 307
a brother of the former Bavarian Minister, Von Zwehl, in
an angry letter, demanded the withdrawal of the article ;
he declared the notice of Sister Augustine being deposed
from her post, in consequence of her refusing to submit to
the dogma of the Infallibility, " to be a miserable, infamous
lie," by which " so veijerable a Sister had been slandered, to
the great delight of the rabble of Munich and the Pro
testant rationalists of Darmstadt." The good old gentle
man, in well-meant zeal, even went so far as -to pledge his
word of honour that the newspaper article was incorrect.
Sister Augustine, notwithstanding, was welcomed with
kindness by the Superior.
The hospital of Vallendar lies on a slight eminence
below the little town, and close to the church which Sister
Augustine's father had built. The house has two towers,
which give it a castellated appearance. She was con
veyed to a room in the upper story of one of these towers ;
the windows had a lovely view over the Valley of the Rhine
from Coblenz to the hills of Andernach. The quiet little
turret-chamber lay high above the noise of every-day life,
unreached by any sound save that of the church bells and
the twittering of the birds that built their nests under the
turret roof After recovering a little from the exertion of
the journey, the remembrances and the bitter experiences of
the past days came back upon her with overwhelming force,
and at the same time a feeling of the deepest and most
painful loneliness. She afterwards said, on looking back,
" There I lay with my face to the wall, feeling all darkness
within me ; but then I said to myself, ' After all, I am
foolish to be so sad ; I have got Christ, and that is enough!' "
" My greatest enemy is despondency," she observed to a

308 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
friend ; but added, joyfully, " ' We have not a High Priest
which cannot be touched with the feeling of our in
firmities.' "
Soon, however, her firm confidence in God, and her
own lively disposition, enabled her to overcome this de
pression. On the 1 6th of November she wrote to Frau
Cornelius : " The first quiet hour in which I am able to sit
up and hold a pen will be devoted to giving you a sign of
my existence. I will not and cannot look back again upon
the dreadful experiences of those first days, else a feeling
of heart-sickness again comes over me. Besides, you have
heard through others of those events, bitter enough to me, as
God only knows. At first I intended to quietly remain on
the spot till I should be expelled from the hospital and the
Order ; but as soon as the new Superior came, I perceived
that a spirit had been introduced so totally foreign and'
distasteful to me, that I felt if I wished to leave the
world without a feeling of bitterness against the Order to
which I have belonged for thirty-two years, I must posi
tively quit the hospital. - To the question as to where I
should go, I had, indeed, the answer of all those near and
dear to me ; but I thought, 'A voluntary secession is a simple
desertion, and for nothing in the world would I give our
opponents a weapon with which they could attack the
purity of our motives.' I accordingly asked permission to
come here, to our good, very simple-hearted Sisters, where
I have no one of my way of thinking, thus giving my
enemies the proof that I am sincerely attached to pure
Christianity, and value it so highly that I dread no isolation.
Of course, I find more outward and inward peace than I
would in the Bonn hospital, and all the more so that only

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATII. 309
Sister Gertrude is with me as my nurse. Velten assured
me that I had only a few months to live, perhaps till
Candlemas. I most gladly believe it."
A few days later, she wrote to Hilgers : " I am afraid
that I shall not easily gain sufficient peace of mind to avoid
recalling to you all that is painful in the past times, so
there is no use in postponement. Besides, I know you will
be satisfied if I assure you that I feel more content than
I could have done in the Bonn hospital, with all its painful
experiences and memories. Undoubtedly I have chosen
the best place of refuge, although it daily costs me many
a sacrifice. News has already come from both Parent
houses, expressing great satisfaction with my retirement,
hoping that by this means all fault-finding with the new
Church system will be silenced. As to what God says of
such abuse of their power, that they do not care for in
the least Of course, I shall never write another syllable
to Tribves or Nancy, as relations between us are at an
end. My connection with the calling in which I have
laboured with such hearty enthusiasm for the last thirty-
two years, I will preserve to the grave, which, thank God,
I am daily approaching. I am in thought much with
you and all dear to me. God will help me further, and
give me strength and grace for the hardest of all sacri
fices, the renunciation of the holy Sacraments and Christian
burial. God help me to hold out faithfully, even under
such trials I And now farewell ! May our faithful Re
deemer grant us courage, and keep us conscious of having
defended His cause, and of having stood by His colours ! "
In another letter to Hilgers she said, "When I think
on the past, I am shocked at a Christianity which can

310 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
produce such fruits as I have experienced ; but we, who
have another kind of Christianity, cannot be too thankful
for the persecutions, however bitter, which have come
upon us. My present loneliness is, indeed, hard to bear ;
still I often repeat from my whole heart, ' Thank God that
I confessed my faith, instead of cowardly denying it ! ' "
As it appeared probable that letters addressed to her
would be opened and not delivered. Professor Cornelius
first sought to communicate with her through Dr, Stumpf,
a zealous member of the Old Catholic party. The latter
wrote to him on the 22nd of November: "Fraulein von
Lasaulx has received your letter. The young Lieutenant
von Huene, to whom I had given it, has just been here.
He came direct from Vallendar, and told me that his aunt
was greatly delighted with it She sends her kind love,
and begs you not to come and see her for the next few
weeks. She is afraid a long visit would be too much for
her strength at present, and, after coming so far, you would
not be able to restrict yourself to an hour. She will send
for you as soon as she feels able to converse with you at
length. She is allowed to receive visits from every one
except from the suspended priests. Von Huene found his
aunt better to-day than last time, when she was very much
exhausted from the journey. Of course, her complaint
excludes all hopes of recovery. This morning, at ten, she
was sitting in her armchair. They try to avoid everything
in the convent which might give the appearance of her
being kept a prisoner,"
Next day, after having received the letter of her friend
Cornelius, Sister Augustine wrote to his wife: "I got
your letter the day before yesterday, Charles's yesterday

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 3U
- evening ; I can do nothing but thank you for the proofs
you give me of your loving sympathy. May God reward
you for it all. Physical sufferings, such as I am undergoing
just now, bring many weary hours and days. How com
forting then to think that I defended a good cause, and
have not, during the investigation, soiled my conscience by
uttering a lie, or even half the truth ! "
Soon after arriving at Vallendar, several of her rela
tions and friends, as well as the physician and treasurer
of the Bonn hospital, came to see her, and many of the
older servants, under the pretence that " their mother was
ill," managed to pay a visit to their much-loved Superior.
Although many of these visitors wearied her, and even
pained her sensitive feelings by telling her with good-
hearted awkwardness, all too faithfully, of the talk and
sensation she had created, yet she rejoiced at every such
meeting. In writing to Hilgers she said, "I have had
many visitors of late, and then I become so excessively
tired at night, that I am hardly able to think, far less
write, and yet I am so glad when I hear that a visitor has
come from Bonn! God knows how hard it is that you
are the only one I cannot expect ! Yesterday Countess
Hacke came, bringing me greetings from the Empress,
and to-day I have had a visit from her physician, Dr.
Velten." The meeting with Cornelius, the friend of her youth,
was a great, though painful, pleasure. Although wishing
to see him again before her death, still she had tried
to dissuade him from coming, as she thought the long
journey during the cold weather would be too fatiguing
for him. She had written to him on the 4th of December

312 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
to that intent : " I received your last letter, just as safely
as the two first, and saw by it that you have not yet given
up your plan of coming here. There -are none so dear
to me as you and Elizabeth, nor any who have so great a
claim on my affection; but, for that very reason, parting
from you, after and amid such painful experiences, would
make my approaching departure from life still harder. In
my present state of health I am hardly able to bear the
excitement of the daily coming and going of friends and
acquaintances, and I would never be able to stand such
deep emotions as your visit would cause me. Besides, I
have painfully experienced in the last few weeks with what
passionate haste our enemies lay hold of everything with
which they can possibly reproach us ; they would not think
it beneath them to openly cast a stigma on your coming
here in some newspaper article."
Professor Cornelius, however, was not to be held back
by any such representations. In order to bid farewell to
his dying friend, he travelled to Vallendar on the Sth of
December, repeating the long journey to the Rhine a
few weeks later. Sister Augustine expressed with deep
emotion what a comfort this proof of friendship was to
her. Altogether her friends were indefatigable in their care
and sympathy, and they vied with each other in trying to
make her position more comfortable. Her bare room, the
sole ornaments of -which consisted in three pictures of the
sacred Coat of Treves (" See how my taste for the fine arts
is outraged ! " she once observed with a smile), was adorned
by her friends with pictures on which her eyes could rest
with pleasure. " The Crucifixion," by Rubens, hung beside
her bed, and underneath it " The Angels of the Sixtine

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH, 313
Madonna," whilst there was another fine plate on the oppo
site wall. A friend had placed flowers on the window-sill
(" I have always loved flowers so much," she remarked,
" because they come so directly from the hand of God ").
These many proofs of faithful attachment did her much
good, and she expressed her thanks in words that came
from the depths of her heart
"Where shall I begin and end with my warmest thanks,"
she wrote to a friend, " for all the proofs of affection and
sincere sympathy which I have ever, and especially now
in these times of affliction, received from you and all your
family .' In my loneliness here, how can I show my
gratitude otherwise than by asking the Lord to richly
bless you dear ones .' Thus far had I written yesterday
evening, when my hand grew so weak that I could hold
my pen no longer. I have not had such a good night for a
long time, still I am indescribably feeble to-day, and my
swollen hands make me rather pensive. However, let me
tell you and faithful B  that your beautiful gifts made
me shed tears of joy ; and to-day I gaze into the wistful
eyes of those two sweet angels, looking up to that land
where I too hope soon to be, and whence undoubtedly
we shall never wish ourselves back again on this poor earth.
Farewell now. May all my wishes for your happiness be
fulfiUed ! "
To another friend she wrote : "It is very painful to me
to be so little able to express my warmest thanks for all
the true love with which you try to direct my thoughts
to the Lord, so that my heart- may find strength and
comfort there, where we never seek in vain. What a help
every word is to me which unfolds to my soul His spiritual

3^4 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
image. His unspeakable beauty! We are one in Him,
here as well as there.''
The very same day she replied to a relation who had
written to her with much sympathy, and who would only
have been too glad to show his care for her otherwise than
by words : " The contents of your letter have doubly re
freshed me, after the occurrences which have lately exiled
me from my home in Bonn. The censciousness of having
remained true and upright makes it easy for me to put
up with the painful want of Church privileges."
A few days after her departure from Bonn, the curators
of the hospital sent her the following letter, written by
the president. Professor Walter : — " Durmg the long period
of twenty-two years the curators of St John's Hospital have
learnt to value the great services which you have rendered
as Superior. If our institution has become influential, it
is chiefly owing to the energy and tact with which you
have conducted it, and to the self-sacrificing devotion which
you brought to bear on every part of your arduous task.
The curators feel in duty bound to give expression to their
warmest thanks and appreciation, united with the assurance
that your memory will ever be kept in grateful remem
brance in our institution." This tardy testimony, however,
could not do away with the pain caused her by the fact
that, during the last days at Bonn, not one of the curators,
with the single exception of a Jewish merchant, had given
her the slightest sign of sympathy, or uttered one word in
her defence.
Few letters gave her so much pleasure as that of her
Bohemian friend, the Pastor of Problus. He had heard
through the papers of her illness, and now gave expression

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 315
to his sympathy and his unchanged devotion to her in
somewhat uncouth and strange German. Yet the many
proofs of attachment she received in those days, and from
all sides, could not make up for what she termed the
"hardest sacrifice" which she offered to her faith — the
want of the holy Sacraments. In writing to one of her
dearest friends, she says, "I am refused that which from
childhood has been more precious to me than anything
else — the Holy Sacrament and absolution ; yet my trust
in God's mercy remains unshaken, and I assuredly believe
that just as there is a blessed baptism of spirit and of
blood, so also there is a spiritual partaking of the Holy
Communion. My end is rapidly approaching, and I look
forward with joy to my last hour ; soon will my warfare be
finished." Mondorf, the old Pastor of Vallendar, a mild, kindly
man, would gladly have administered the last Unction to
the sick Superior, but he was prevented by the strict
orders of the Bishops with regard to the acceptance of the
Council's decrees. He said that about a hundred persons
came to . his confessional, none of whom believed in the
Infallibility, but that in this case, which all the news
papers spoke of, he must bethink himself In one of her
letters Sister Augustine says, " The day before yesterday
the old Pastor came to see me. He contented himself with
talking about the weather, etc, I trust he will make no
attempt at converting me, for in that case my answer
will be so completely unsatisfactory to him, that the
Treves people will consign me to a still deeper hell.
Thank God that I really am only what I appear to Him
to be, and that there are many of a like mind, with whom

3l6 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
I can calmly enter eternity. Here, of course, I shall not
be permitted to partake of the holy Sacraments, and
therefore I shall not have a Christian burial. In order
that this last point may not be too hard to the Superior,
I have ordered Sister Gertrude to have my coffin quietly
taken across the Rhine to Weissenthurm, and to have
me buried beside my parents. I have also made it her
sacred duty, openly and truthfully, to contradict any pos
sible lies of the other party as to my having been con
verted before my death."
Sister Augustine understood that even if Pastor Mon
dorf should make up his mind to administer the last Sacra
ments to her, her partaking of them would give her the
appearance of having given in her submission. Accord
ingly, she requested that they might be brought her from
Bonn. She could not ask one of her friends to be the
bearer, since she was bound by a promise to see none
of them again.
Hochstein, a young clergyman of the Paderborn diocese,
who was studying philology at Bonn, having offered to
carry her the Sacraments, was, without preliminary warn
ing or investigation, suddenly suspended by his Bishop,
on. the ground that he attended the lectures of Professor
Reusch on the history of creation. At the same time,
Hochstein was summoned to Paderborn, to answer for
himself and to make his confession of faith. By this un
expected occurrence he was unable to take the Sacraments
to Sister Augustine, and she, for her part, would not break
her promise. Upon this. Professor Reusch, without telling
Hochstein, wrote to the Bishop of Paderborn, threatening
to make public his unheard-of proceedings, unless he with-

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 317
drew the suspension, Hochstein wrote at the same time,
stating that he would refrain from attending the lectures, but
that he did not feel himself bound to go to Paderborn, nor
to make a confession of his faith. The Bishop then simply
withdrew the suspension, and Hochstein at once hastened
to fulfil his errand. On the morning of the 14th of
December, after having celebrated Mass in the Minorite
Church at Bonn, during which he had hid a consecrated
wafer in a small case, he went to Vallendar, No one felt
any scruples at admitting him to Sister Augustine, who
welcomed him with joy. She sent Sister Gertrude away
on an errand, which occupied her for a considerable time
in another part of the house, and she then received the
Sacrament of Extreme Unction with joyful devotion.
In quiet confidence she prepared for death, which she
longed for as a welcome messenger to call her home. A
deep peace filled the little room, such as all storms from
without were not able to trouble. " Peace and quiet can
even dwell with pain," she had once observed. When not
suffering great pain, her cheerfulness and brightness re
turned, and sometimes even her clear merry laugh was
heard. It was difficult to remember that she was ill,
without hope of recovery. In the quiet morning hours
visitors would find her sitting in her chair, looking 'out
upon the Valley of the Rhine and the opposite hills, with
the villages lying beneath them. The whole country was
covered with snow, glittering in the sunlight, and the
blocks of ice, closely packed, moved slowly down the river,
lending an indescribable dreaminess to the scene. She
would sit for hours, looking out on this glorious winter
landscape, and talk of old times and the peoples the

3l8 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
Rhine had seen on its shores. She would also talk of
her parents and relations, and of old friends of her
family, long since dead and gone ; and, looking back on
her own life, she would thank God for having made it
so happy and full of labour. She was fond of having
Emanuel Veith's sermons and Sailer's "Letters from Chris
tians of every Age " read to her. Her particular favourite,
however, was the pastoral epistle of St. Cyprian to the
Thibarites, and the letter to Diognet, In the last-named
work she never tired of the passage — " Christians dwell
as pilgrims in a fleeting world, waiting for an unfailing
inheritance above. God has committed a trust to them,
and they dare not betray it ; for it is no human dis
covery which is confided to them, no invention of men
with which they believe them.selves entrusted, no secret
of mortal beings for which they must render account
God Himself, the Almighty, the Creator of all things, the
Invisible, has sent His holy, incomprehensible Word into
the world, to dwell for ever with man in his heart"
.. She was visibly affected by the exhortations with
Ayhich the Christians of that time were prepared for the
coming days of persecution : " ' Blessed are ye, when men
shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner
of evil against you falsely, for My sake. Rejoice, and-
be exceeding glad : for great is your reward in heaven.'
Accordingly, it is the will of God that we should ' rejoice
and be exceeding glad ' in the days of persecution ; for
when persecution sets in, and the soldiers of Christ give
proofs of their courage, the heavens will open, and they
will enter in to receive their crowns of glory. We did
not enroll our names in the cause of Christ in order to

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 319
have ease and to avoid active service. The Great Pattern
of humility and patience Himself set the example, teaching
us what we must do, and suffering what we are to suffer.
Ever bear in mind, dear brethren, that He to whom the
Father has committed all judgment, and who assuredly
will come to judge, has already told us what His verdict
will be, when He says, that whosoever shall confess Him
before men, them will He also confess before His Father
which is in heaven, and whosoever shall deny Him, them
will He also deny."
"The nearer to the times in which Christ lived, the
more earnest they are," she once exclaimed, complaining
of the perceptible difference between religious books of
the present day and those remnants of ancient antiquity.
That active love which had been the leading motive of
her life still made her anxious to do good to others as far
as she was able in her helpless condition. As Christmas
drew near, she bethought herself as to how she could give
some little pleasure to the inmates of the hospital. Among
other things, she sent to Bonn for some pieces of gay-
coloured silk which a merchant had given her, and had
them made into caps. Early on Christmas morning, all
the old women came to show themselves at her bedside,
and she was pleased and amused at the pride with which
they displayed their gay and rather fantastic head-gear.
She often held long consultations with the Vallendar
Superior as to the best means of assisting the hospital
in its present state of poverty, and from her own long
experience she was able to give many useful hints with
regard to the household management. Just as she used to
rejoice over any improvements which the Bonn hospital

320 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
owed to the generosity of her friends, she was glad, in the
same way, for the sake of the Vallendar hospital, of any
gift to herself which was to remain there after her death.
" I am quite a fortune to Sister Hedwig," she sometimes re
marked. She helped her successor in the Bonn hospital as far as
she could in her difficult position, by writing to the Sisters,
begging them tO obey their new Superior as heartily and
faithfully as they had done her, and earnestly beseeching
them to avoid any disturbance or insubordination for her
sake, but rather to look to God alone, and faithfully to
fulfil their duties.
Whilst she met the approach of death in quiet con
fidence, the adherents of the dogma of InfaUibUity could
not rest without constantly renewing their attempts at con
vincing her, and they were not all as mild and considerate
as old Pastor Mondorf, who, after his first interview with
her, gave up the exertions which he had been bound to
make, and wrote to the following effect : — " She is not
open to persuasion, and is too weak to be reached by
proof." She replied to Sister Gertrude's well-meant but
awkward attempts at persuasion, "Sister Gertrude, will
you too embitter my dying hour ,' " The faithful soul burst
into tears, and was silent
The Vallendar Superior, too, entreated her to believe
in " the Infallibility of the Church," and on her replying
that she had never doubted it, she was quite surprised
and confused, saying that surely nothing more was re
quired : it was not easy to make the two good simple
Sisters understand the point in question. Sister Hedwig
prayed incessantly for the much-desired conversion ; and

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 32 1
after having placed a copy of a picture of the Virgin, in
whose miraculous powers she believed, between lighted
candles in the hospital chapel, and causing prayers to be
' offered there for Sister Augustine's conversion, she had no
doubt her request would be heard. As Sister Hedwig
regarded it as her duty to introduce in conversation the
dogma of InfaUibUity, Sister Augustine at length re
marked : " Sister Hedwig, I believe you act according to
conviction; do you think the same of me?" "Yes." "Well,
then, I think we have done. I am sure it is disagreeable
to you, having an excommunicated person in the hospital
and being obliged to bury her ; but do not be anxious on
that point You will lay me in my coffin, and the ferry
man will take my body across the Rhine ; my parents and
brother are buried there, and some one will see to my
being laid beside them." After some moments of painful
thought, she exclaimed, " Is it possible that they are so
far left to themselves as to think a soul can be lost through
not believing in the Infallibility of the Pope .' It seems
incredible ! "
In order to calm her troubled feelings, a much-loved
friend remarked to her : " Dear Sister Augustine, at least
you have the satisfaction of knowing that you have not
lived in vain ; you have laboured much in your day, and
then you continually witnessed for the truth." At these
words a bright gleam of joy passed over her face, and
in the happy, grateful expression of her eyes the answer
could be read — " Yes, I have been made partaker of much
grace." Towards the end of November the Superior of the
Orphanage at Cologne, herself a native of Coblenz, came
Y

322 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
to VaUendar, at the request of Professor — — , to try what
influence she could have on Sister Augustine. She had
been asked by him whether Sister Augustine venerated
any of the saints in particular ; and on hearing that she had
on one occasion expressed a preference for St Francis de
Sales, because there was nothing uncommon about him,
he accordingly gave the Superior a book of St. Francis's,
out of which Sister Augustine could gather information as
to the Papal Infallibility. He sent word to her that this
translation was incorrect ; that the original, however, which
he could not send her, contained the right rendering.
The fact was, that there was not one single passage in the
book which could in any way confirm the doctrine of
Infallibility. When the message was given her, she re
plied, smiling, " It is not often that you have heard me
speak of the saints, is it ? " She declined to accept the
book, remarking that she knew enough of the matter:
" The holy Popes had not considered themselves infallible,
and it is with them I hope soon to be."
A day or two later, Professor  himself arrived at
Vallendar, to try to induce her to submit, though it were
only in form. On Sister Augustine firmly declaring that,
being a Catholic, she could as little think of acknowledging
the Papal Infallibility as she could of becoming a Pro
testant, he replied, "Indeed, so you intend becoming a
Protestant .' " Although she reproved him for thus mis
interpreting her -words, he constantly returned to them,
alluding to her friendship with the late Professor Perthes,
which he regarded as an acknowledgment of her inclination
to Protestantism. After urging her with much eagerness,
and being at last convinced of the uselessness of his pains.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 323
he left her. In speaking of this visit. Sister Augustine
said, " By sending such people as these, they indeed make
opposition easy.!" In a letter to Professor Cornelius she
says, " The day before yesterday Professor  , from
Cologne, had me in hand for two hours. At last I be
came quite rude, and had to tell him somewhat plainly
that he succeeded in accomplishing the exact opposite of
what he intended. When at last he was gone, and I had
got over my first disgust, I laughed heartily at all the
falsehood, deceit, and nonsense of the little man ! "
Another priest, an aged and much-respected man, who
had considered it his duty, for the sake of the peace and
unity of the Church, to accept the dogma of Infallibility,
came likewise to Vallendar, in order to try and persuade
her to act as he had done. Among other things he said
to her, "If you were on board a magnificent ship which.
had taken fire, surely you would not commit your safety
to a miserable little plank and cast yourself into the
sea .' " She remarked afterwards, jokingly, about this
somewhat unfortunate comparison : " If I absolutely had
to die, I should much rather be drowned than burnt to
death," Another and much more persistent attempt to convert
her was made by a Jesuit who at that time directed the
"exercises'' at Vallendar, After lecturing her for two hours
without intermission, he at last made the proposal that, as
there was po necessity really to believe the dogma, it was
quite sufficient that she should confess her unbelief as a sin ;
God would then give her faith, which was entirely a super
natural grace. She indignantly rejected the proposal, "re
questing her interrogator to have some consideration for

324 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
her physical state, to cease from his eloquence and retire.
He did so, after having obtained from her the promise that
she would send for him when she required his services.
Her steadfastness occasioned the greatest anxiety to
her sister Clementine, who, for her part, believed in the
Infallibility with such a firm conviction, that she could
show neither consideration nor justice to any one who
opposed her. She endeavoured, at first by indirect means,
to obtain the conversion of her sister, and addressed the
following letter to Professor Reusch from the hospital at
Luxemburg : — " Respected Professor, — You will pardon me
if I now make a more urgent and earnest request of you
than I have ever yet had occasion to do. But my poor
sister's soul is in danger, and therein lies my only justi
fication and the explanation of all my anxiety. Whenever
I pray for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, it is always
your name that occurs to me, and although I know that
you hold opinions similar to hers, I know too that you are
the most honourable of all these infatuated ones, and,
having been for many years my unfortunate sister's con
fessor, are therefore bound to do for her more than any
one else,
" How my poor sister could ever have believed it to be
permissible or compatible with the holy robe of our Order,
not only to confess her non-acceptation, but actually to
make an open profession of it, is incomprehensible, and
only a proof to what a degree she was blinded and in
fatuated, "This explains the dreadful and persistent stubborn
ness and stiff-neckedness with which she protested against
every other conviction. In spite of all my love for my

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH, 325
sister, I cannot conceal from myself the terrible danger in
which her soul stands ; and therefore I pray, day and night,
' O God, have mercy on her ! ' Yet I would fain still wish
to make use of all human means, and I am not saying
too much when I tell you that, next to God, nothing
would have more effect than if you were to say to her,
' A body sick unto death affords but a short refuge for
the poor soul,' and I will say with Melanchtbon, 'It is better
and safer to die in the old Church than in the new,' Oh,
my dear professor, lend a helping hand to save her soul, I
beseech and implore you, by all that is dear and sacred to
you, and assist in removing the dreadful stumbling-block,
so offensive to every true Christian, which my unfortunate
sister has laid in the way of our holy Church, Yes, yes ;
so she has indeed ; for ' let him be anathema ' is a truth
which neither science, infatuation, nor falsehood can ever
overthrow, nor can they remove a single iota from it.
" Pardon me, but my indignation overpowers me ; I
think I may say this to you, for you are, of all these
infatuated ones, the most likely to return to the Church.
But pray say nothing about these lines to my sister, else
the effect of them will be entirely lost, and she will be
embittered against her only sister.
" Heart and hand tremble, and I cannot write more.
God give you the peace which is to be found only in the
bosom of His Church, Will you favour me with a reply .'
and believe in the deepest sympathy of one who, though
unknown to you; remembers you before God,"
To this Professor Reusch replied : " Out of deepest
respect for the friendship of your afflicted sister, I reply to
your letter, notwithstanding the somewhat offensive ex-

326 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
pressions which it seems to me to contain, which, however,
I am willing to attribute to your agitation, I cannot speak
to your sister for this reason ; she has been made to
promise to receive no visits from any of the priests who
are at present under suspension. Even had it been other
wise, I would not have been able to advise her according
to your wishes ; to have done sO would have been to act
contrary to my convictions. And besides, any such advice
would not have had the result you desired, for your sister
has acted according to clear and conscientious conviction.
Even though you consider your sister mistaken in her
views, and like myself, infatuated, you may still be without
anxiety as to the welfare of her soul. As far as I can
understand the teaching of Christianity, God will condemn
no one who acts according to the dictates of conscience,
even though in so doing he should be in error. And that
your sister, if she err, does so in perfect faith, you may
continue to believe, so long as the accusations of ' stubborn
ness ' and ' stiff-neckedness ' remain without proof ; and who
will consider them proved, unless, like God, he be able to
see the heart and read what is there .' For my own part, I
can only wish that I may be able to meet death with the
hope of a merciful judgment, as well grounded as your
sister's. " The remark of Melanchtbon which you quote, ' It is
better to die in the old Church than the new,' your sister
will as little dispute as I do. We wish to live and to die
in the old Church, holding firmly to the faith which, from
youth upwards, your fathers and forefathers, like mine, have
professed! To determine on whom the anathema you
mention falls, and the responsibility of refusing the means

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 327
of grace, does not lie within the power of man. I, at least,
would never take upon me to condemn those who, in my
opinion, are in error, and to believe that among those who
have accepted the new doctrine, there are none innocently
in error, as there are among the Protestants. That the
party to which you belong is somewhat more ready to
pronounce condemnation, I can gather from your letter ;
but I rather think that the phrase 'judge not' stands far
more secure than any ' let- him be anathema.' It is said
of the word of God that not one iota of it shall fall to
the ground ; but it .becomes every day clearer to me that
this promise was never given to the new doctrines, not only
from scientific theology, of which you speak so lightly, but
from experience. Teaching which is the occasion of so
much perplexity and misery — in some creating only an un
easy conscience and a heavy heart, in others giving rise
to so much fanaticism and dishonesty — cannot be from
God. " You are mistaken when you think to excuse the bitter
ness of your expressions by the belief that I am ' the most
likely of all those unhappy ones to return to the Church.'
I do not require to return to a Church from which I have
never seceded, and I am as little unhappy as your sister.
To suffer wrong is ever better than 'to do wrong, and
to act against the dictates of conscience is always to do
wrong. Believe me, when any one sees, as I have done,
the inhuman treatment to which your sister has been sub
jected, and to which my dying friend Kampschulte had to
submit, in honour of the infalhble Pope, he will be disposed
to disbelieve, not in Christ and the Church, but rather in
the Christianity of those who exercise the functions of good

328 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
shepherds. When you especially deplore that your sister
openly made known and actually confessed her refusal to
aTccept the doctrine of the Papal Infallibility, thereby
occasioning a ' dreadful scandal,' your complaint would
have better been directed against those who, from a
pitiable denunciation, instead of leaving , your sister to
depart in peace, so coarsely and recklessly instituted and
carried out an inquisition against her. I shall leave you to
judge of the effect this scandal will have on the clergy and
other ecclesiastical officials who took part in it. Every
honourable and Christian gentleman will think of your
sister only with respect,"
In the midst of these struggles and sorrows Christmas
arrived. On Christmas Eve the little turret-chamber
was brightened by the glitter of a Christmas tree, which
some friends had provided ; but in the days that followed.
Sister Augustine's physical condition became so much
worse, that to all appearance the end could not be far off.
She suffered extremely from breathlessness, and the dropsy
increased to such a degree that it was almost impossible
for her to make the slightest movement. On the 26th of
December, when she became unconscious and was con
sidered dying. Sister Hedwig, in her anxiety, sent for the
priest. When she was informed of this on regaining con
sciousness, she was much displeased, and for the future was
careful to abstain from the use of all morphine, lest under
its influence her submission might have been taken, and
use made of it after her death. As long as it was possible
to endure the pain, which often left her no respite day or
night, she abstained from all narcotics, being aware of their
baneful effect on the mind.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 329
On the last day of the year, 1871, she received the
following lines from Bishop Krementz, of Ermland : —
" I shall never forget the grateful words which my friend
Johannes, quite happy and with a mind at ease, wrote to
me from Bonn, saying that he would depart from the world
reconciled to God and the Church.
" You, respected Sister Augustine, were the real cause
of his reconciliation, which decided his eternal state. Had
it not been that you watched for his soul with all loving
care and attention, he would have died unreconciled. And
now you. Sister Augustine, stand at the threshold of
eternity. Will you cross it unreconciled .' I ask you, for
the love of our Divine Master, have the same pity on
your own soul that you had on the soul of our departed
Johannes !
" I know your difficulties. This is no fitting time to
discuss them. What we wish to find is the only safe way.
How will you ever be able to answer the Lord your Judge .'
I wiU tell you.
" Submit to the authority of your Church, which speaks
to you by its Head and its Bishops, You will then be
able to defend yourself before God : 'Although much evil
has been told me concerning thy servants the Bishops of
the Church, and although it had all seemed to me but
too true, so that I was unwilling to accept what they
said, still in my necessity I have called to mind Thy word,
which is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
Thou hast said, " He that heareth you heareth Me, and he
that despiseth you despiseth Me." And again: "If he
neglect to hear the Church, let him be unto thee as an
heathen man and a -publican." Before these words I have

330 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
bowed, not however without an effort, and have, in obe
dience to Thy word, accepted what seemed dark to me, and
have submitted my opinion to the judgment of the Church.
If I have erred, it is Thy word which has led me astray.'
Can you, then, with such a confidence appear before God,
if you submit your judgments to the words of mistaken
teachers and who possess no authority ,' Enter on the true
way before the night comes, when it is no more to be
found. For the love of our incarnate God and Saviour, I,
an old and faithful friend of your family, who have stood
by the death-bed of your father and mother, beseech you
to do as I have advised you, and pray earnestly for you,
that you may be led in the right path."
As she was physically too weak to answer the Bishop's
letter, and convinced of the little effect any reply would
have from her, in the presence of such totally different
views, she sent the letter to Professor Cornelius, and asked
him to write as he should think best
Neither praise from the one side nor blame from the
other could have any effect on the position she had taken,
and the attempts at her conversion, which had been again
renewed, remained without effect.
The Order had repeatedly threatened to deprive her of
her robe should she continue any longer to oppose. This
pained her greatly, and she could only reply with tears.
But even this she was able to overcome, " What does it
signify .' " she said, with a touch of her old humour. " It
only comes to this, that one day I shall get up and not find
my black dress, and then you will be forced to address me
as Miss von Lasaulx ; but, before G<)d and my own con
science, I shall still remain a Sister of Charity ! "

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 33 I
She knew very weU how hard it was for the Superior
in Vallendar to be the bearer of such news, and she could
never bear to hear any one angry with her. " Say nothing
against Sister Hedwig, I will not listen to it ! " she said.
Quite unexpectedly, in the second week of January,
Clementine von Lasaulx arrived at Vallendar. Trembling
and with tears. Sister Gertrude announced her arrival.
Sister Augustine said smilingly to her cousin, who hap
pened to be with her, " It always has such a calming
influence on me when Sister Gertrude loses her head.
God must have so ordered it, and I am not afraid of
Clementine — let her come in." " Why should she be afraid
of me, her own sister ? " said the latter, who had caught
the last words.
Some days later. Sister Augustine wrote : " Clementine
is still here, and I don't know how long she will remain.
At first she was particularly careful to spare me as much
as possible, but since yesterday she has not been able to
do so any more. Her presence has cost me tears and
sleepless nights. May God continue to help me ! My
condition is much the same as before."
At last, on the 20th of January, Clementine left
Vallendar, after coming to the conclusion that all her
endeavours were in vain. On the. same day Sister Augus
tine wrote to a relation : " My fingers are almost unable to
hold the pencil, but you will excuse the handwriting.
Clementine has left for Kreuznach this morning, and goes
on to Luxemburg to-morrow. Her visit gave me many
stormy hours, though some quiet ones too ; on the whole,
it did me Httle good. Yesterday the Lady Superior
of the Franciscan Sisters at Aix-la-Chapelle knelt for

332 SISTER AUGUSTINE,
half an hour before me, entreating me to save my soul.
Added to this, the assistance of miraculous waters and
of prayer is offered me. What more can they do ,' The
dreadful pain in my feet during the last week made it
necessary to consult a physician, Dr, Kochling, Through
his treatment I am much better, and even passed an ex
cellent night What may the future bring, outwardly and
inwardly .' The Lord will provide ! "
Thus it was that neither entreaties nor arguments and
threats were able to shake Sister Augustine's trust in God,
nor her consciousness of upholding the old truths of the
Catholic faith, Seydel, then an old man of eighty-three,"
made the last attempt at her conversion, a day or two
before her death, Seydel had for many years past lived
almost a hermit life in Cologne, and he undertook the
journey in order to persuade his former scholar to submit
to the new dogma. She was deeply affected by the old
man's entreaties : " Dear Malchen, submit for my sake ! I
have done so too, though I felt it hard to have to do it ! "
Seydel's deafness made conversing with him doubly
trying to her, and he soon left her, giving her his blessing
at parting. The Superior's strength now rapidly began to fail her,
and she continued in a state varying between feeble slumber
and attacks of breathlessness. Her longing for death daily
increased, like a longing for her true home. She retained
this to the last, and yet, in respect to this very feeling, she
was more severe than ever upon herself "All longing
for heaven which does not centre in Christ alone, but
rather springs from the desire to escape from this life, is
false and self-deceptive," She often recalled with joy the

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 333
words of the dying soldier in Bohemia, who had predicted
that hers would be a happy death.
On Saturday, the 27th of January, she was very unwell
in the afternoon, and Sisters Hedwig and Gertrude put her
to bed. In the evening she felt better, and hoped to have
a good night. However, she could not rest, and had to be
taken back to her chair again about two o'clock. Next
morning Sister Hedwig came to her, and she sent Sister
Gertrude to church. Sister Augustine said to the former,
" Sit close to me, Sister Hedwig," and, leaning her head
against her shoulder, allowed her to warm her cold hands,
repeating that she felt better.
Dr. Kochling, who had been sent for, thought her much
worse. Sister Gertrude said to him, " If you think there
is danger, doctor, say so, for the Superior wishes to know
the truth." "In that case," he replied, turning to Sister
Augustine, " I must acknowledge that you are threatened
with congestion of the lungs ; in all probability you have
only another hour to live." Somewhat surprised. Sister
Augustine said, "As soon as that.'" then, taking both
his hands in hers, she added joyfully, "Thank you,
thank you ! How glad I am that I soon shall be with
God ; He will be a milder Judge to me than men have
been!" She had some violent spasms, and remarked to Sister
Hedwig, " Dying is indeed no easy matter ! "
Both Sisters had knelt down at her bedside, weeping,
and repeated the commendatory prayers. Sister Augustine
made the responses in a distinct voice. With perceptible
joy she prayed the words — '
" Lord Jesus, I live to Thee,
Lord Jesus, I die to Thee."

334 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
She then exclaimed several times, wistfully, " Come, Lord
Jesus ! " and fell calmly and peacefully asleep on Sunday,
the 28th of January, at a quarter to one.
The Funeral.
During Sister Augustine's last days at Bonn, and before
she had decided whether to remain or not, she had taken
it for granted that some of her clerical friends would
bury her. After leaving Bonn, however, she gave up the
wish, and ordered that she should be buried very quietly,
and without any demonstrations whatever, at Weissenthurm
— a small village on the left bank of the Rhine, opposite
to Neuwied — beside her parents and brother. She had
given Sister Gertrude a sealed letter to the magistrate at
Weissenthurm, containing the request to " provide for her
burial in the same manner as for that of her brother
Hermann." A few weeks previous to her death. Pastor Mondorf,
in answer to inquiries, had said that he would not be
allowed to bury her if she should die without having
accepted the dogma, which he thought probable. The
churchyard of Weissenthurm belonged to the parish, which
consisted of several villages, whilst the burial-place of the
Lasaulx family was the property of the latter, and now
stood at the sole disposal of Clementine von Lasaulx.
After Sister Augustine's death, her relations applied to
the priest of Weissenthurm, requesting him to conduct the .
funeral service. The priest, a very mild and moderately
inclined man, expressed his regret at having to refuse the
request, in consequence of the prohibition of his Bishop.

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 335
He added, however, that no objection could be raised to
the funeral taking place, provided that no excommunicated
priest officiated.
In order to provide for this possibility, the Mayor of
Weissenthurm inquired of the civil authorities at Coblenz
whether the gate of the churchyard might be opened, even
against the priest's will, or whether in that case the funeral
procession should go round to a wide opening in the
hedge, close to the burial-place of the Lasaulx family.
After an agitated discussion, the decision was arrived
at that, under ariy circumstances, the funeral was to pass
through the chief entrance. On January 30, the day fixed
for it, the excommunicated priests offered to perform the
service. They were all the more justified in doing so, as
they had promised, in case of the parish priests refusing,
to perform simUar offices for each other and their com
panions of faith. For several reasons, however, the offer
had to be refused. Not only Sister Augustine's personal
wishes, but those of all her relations, whatever their
religious views niight be, were opposed to such a burial.
Ecclesiastical matters with respect to the Old Catholics
in the Rhineland, and more especially at Bonn, were still
so little organized, that any official duties performed by
priests under suspension — as, for instance, a public funeral
— would not so much have given the impression of a
grave and obligatory duty in a time of need as of an
oppositional demonstration against the rightful ecclesiasti
cal authorities. This had all the more to be taken into
consideration among that particularly excitable country
population. In the meantime the threat of depriving Sister Augustine

336 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
of her convent robe had been carried out at Vallendar
by direction of the Lady Superior, who wished as far as
possible to dishonour her even after her death, in order
to prove that the deceased had been expelled from the
Order as unworthy of belonging to it The corpse was
shown to a relation and a friend.
The nuns, to whom the preparations for the funeral
were entrusted, had been told the exact time when the
coffin was to be given in charge of a trustworthy person,
and taken across the Rhine in a small boat. The hour
was chosen so as to suit the afternoon train from Bonn,
in order that the funeral procession might meet the
coffin at the shore. The nuns, however, were afraid that
*he time the coffin was to leave Vallendar might become
generally known, and that a disturbance might be occa
sioned by a crowd collecting on the shore. Accordingly,
they did not keep to the appointed hour, but bade the boat
men start early in the morning, whilst the man who was to
take charge of the coffin was kept back, so as to follow
later with the wreaths ordered from Coblenz. They had
sent word to the mayor, on the preceding evening, that the
coffin would leave Vallendar at seven next morning, and
be received by the family at eight o'clock at Weissen
thurm. No word, however, was sent to the relations of
this change of plan.
Thus the boat, with the coffin, sailed on its lonely
way down the river which Sister Augustine had so much
loved. About ten o'clock it reached its destination. The
boatmen drew it up on the shore near the last house, the
village inn, which they themselves entered. Children
playing on the shore soon gathered round the Vallendar

CLOSING YEARS AND DEATH. 337
boat, and climbing into it, tried to remove the planks in
the stern, which covered the coffin, so as to enable them
to get a sight of it.
The Princess of Wied, having gone to Vallendar to be
present at the funeral, hearing that the coffm had been
removed, followed it to Weissenthurm and found it by the
shore, quite deserted. Soon after her, the relations of
the deceased arrived, in order, as they thought, to receive
the coffin, which had been waiting at the shore for the
last two or three hours. It was carried into the dancing-
room of the inn, which was still hung with the withered
garlands of the last ball. After the room had been hastily
cleared of tables, chairs, and beer-glasses, the Bonn friends
arrived : the professors of theology, whose fate, for their
faith's sake, was similar to that of the deceased, and
whose anxieties she had shared during the past years ;
the curator of the university and several physicians who
for long years had witnessed the Superior's successful
labours ; the treasurer of the hospital and a few other
gentlemen ; her lady-friends, and one or two domestic
servants of the hospital, who had insisted on " going with
their Mother." A few of the villagers, too, joined, wishing
to honour the daughter of their former benefactor.
It was a small procession that followed the Superior
to her last resting-place, but there was no one there who
had not come with a heart full of love and reverence for
her. The coffin, which meanwhile had been covered with
flowers, was carried in silence to the peaceful village
churchyard, and there lowered into the grave. Before
it was closed. Professor • Reusch spoke a few simple
z

338 SISTER AUGUSTINE.
but affecting words, and then all present joined in thrice
repeating the Lord's Prayer — for Sister Augustine, for the
departed members of her family, and for that person
present who should be the first to follow her. All then
joined in covering the coffin with earth, and flowers and a
palm-branch were placed on the grave. In that hour all
felt how rich a love had been carried to the grave
with the " Mother of the hospital ; " and yet, however
painful the parting and however bitter the loss, none
would have recalled her to a life so full of labour, trouble,
and conflict, out of which God had taken her to everlasting
peace. It was a solemn, quiet funeral, deeply affecting in its
simplicity — one of those remembrances which live on, not
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